Chapter Text
Wonyoung cooked dinner for Yujin. She was always so helpless, but that was ok because she had Wonyoung to help her.
They both studied hard, but Yujin was always exhausted because she had more classes. She regrets not studying harder in high school.
“I always used to tell you to take harder classes, imagine if you listened to me,” Wonyoung said when she complained about her workload for the nth time that year.
“I know, you’re always right and you’re much smarter than me,” Yujin said jokingly, the grin on her face knowing what Wonyoung would say. She knew exactly how to push her buttons by now, and that was fun.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” she exclaimed, exasperated, turning and looking at her apologetically with a pout on her face, forgetting that she was supposed to be cooking. She knew that Yujin knew what she meant, but she felt bad anyway because she was always like that. Apologetic.
“Don’t worry, I forgive you,” Yujin sighed, giving her a tired hug. They stayed like that for a while, they needed to recharge after a long day.
“Let me go, the noodles will get soggy,” Wonyoung whined, weakly wiggling in her arms. She could escape if she wanted to, but she loved the embrace, so she just pretended.
“I like soggy noodles,” Yujin said, but she let her go anyway. She knew that Wonyoung didn’t like soggy noodles.
Wonyoung finished fixing their food and she received a chaste kiss in return for her labor. It was awfully domestic, and she loved thinking about that.
—
Wonyoung was popular in the music department. Almost every guy would date her if they could, with her voice like honey and looks that could kill, they practically drool over her; but she’d always say she was already taken when anyone tried to shoot their shot. No one knew who she was dating, so they honestly didn’t believe her, and just assumed she wasn’t interested but was trying to let them down easier.
Yujin was popular in the dance department. All her peers admired her skills, and she had her fair share of suitors. After all, her dances really captivated her audience, especially her more sensual ones. But she let down all said suitors, saying she was already seeing someone. This time however, people did believe her at first, because she always danced with a particular guy.
When they first entered university, by some scary coincidence, Park Sunghoon found himself in the same department as her. Naturally, given their past, they became quick friends and did their projects together, but they never said they were dating, so people still asked her out. After the rumors grew out of control, Sunghoon decided to tell his truth to everyone because he couldn’t stand people thinking he was dating Yujin. Nothing against her, but the thought disgusted him, she was just a friend, and also definitely not his type.
He told everyone he way gay, and everyone accepted that, because things weren’t like they used to be anymore. He even found himself a boyfriend soon after, and the four of them became close friends.
They weren’t trying to hide their relationship. They wouldn’t deny it if anyone asked, but no one asked directly. They never ran into each other at school, and they never saw any of their peers when they went out.
Actually, come to think of it, one person other than their friends knew of their relationship. Yujin’s dance instructor saw them together, and of course he knew who Jang Wonyoung was, she still was the Jang Wonyoung, even in college. He was about to approach them, assuming they were friends, when he suddenly saw them kiss.
He froze in place and just stared at them. He was just a bit shocked by what he was seeing. He could imagine Yujin swinging that way, as a lot of his students did. But Wonyoung? That was what really shocked him. And why were they kissing in a Joe’s Pizza anyway? Aren't there better places?
Young love , he supposed.
He didn’t have to worry about approaching them, because Yujin waved at him first. She walked over to him, and also started the conversation, “Hey,” she greeted cheerfully, she greeted much more cheerfully than when she was in his class.
“Hey, how’s it going? Who’s this?” he asked, even though he knew, gesturing toward Wonyoung, who was waiting for their pizza, looking at her phone because Yujin said she saw someone she knew, so she left them to talk.
His students were always really comfortable with him, they spent countless hours sweating together learning dances, so it happens naturally.
“I’m good. Oh, that’s my girlfriend, Wonyoung, you want to say hi?” Before he got the chance to answer, she was already calling her over for him to meet. The question was rhetorical, he figured.
“Wonyoung this is Taemin, he’s my instructor,” she introduced, gesturing to him as she spoke. He smiled at her, and she smiled back sweetly, doing a polite bow as she said “Nice to meet you.”
“Right back at you,” he said as he bowed slightly back.
He’s glad his student has such a nice partner, he himself is very lonely, only having a single cat to keep him company. His thoughts are interrupted by an employee yelling out Yujin’s name, signaling her pizza was ready.
“It was great seeing you, say hi to Kkoong for me,” she said with a kind smile, walking off with Wonyoung’s hand in hers. He sighed, he couldn’t help but feel like she was insulting him with that last comment, but it doesn’t matter, he loves his cat.
—
Everyone found out Yujin was gay. But it was the next year. Somehow their popularity grew even more in their respective departments. They went from being freshmen superstars to the perfect sophomores, it was amazing how far they’d come from their hometown.
During class one day, a junior came up to her and asked her to homecoming, which she didn’t even know they did anymore in college.
“Sorry, I’m taken buddy,” was all she said to him, continuing to stretch. But he was a bit pushy, probably not used to being rejected by the looks of him.
“You keep saying that to everyone, but it seems like you’re just lying at this point. Are you gay or something? Why would you say no to me?” he huffed out, clearly frustrated.
She couldn’t believe this guy. How could someone be so full of themselves even after getting rejected? Men.
“Yeah, I am, so please, stop pushing your luck,” she retorted, clearly done with this conversation, she got up and went to get her water bottle.
He looked at her as she walked away, obviously not expecting her to actually say yes to that, he regretted asking, now deeply embarrassed. Everyone in her class saw what happened, and he felt the need to get the last words in, so right before he left, he did just that, “If you ever get tired of her, let me know, I’ll satisfy you.” He left smugly with those words.
His statement echoed after he left, and everyone stared at either Yujin or the door, shocked at what had happened. There were two people in that room that knew she absolutely would soon be leaving out of the door.
Sunghoon sat silently in his place on the ground, waiting for Yujin to leave. He would definitely be joining her.
Taemin broke the silence with his words, looking straight into her eyes, he coldly stated “Go get him Yujin.”
She said nothing, and just silently exited the room. He was gonna regret saying that.
—
He did regret saying that. She made sure of it, but now she is lying face-up on the couch waiting for Wonyoung to come home.
News spread quickly, and she hoped her girlfriend would hear from her first that she beat up an asshole junior, and that everyone now knew she was non-straight. The latter was honestly a relief, finally people would stop asking her out.
Sunghoon was also there, lying on the couch across from her.
“You think she’ll be mad?” Yujin asked him, staring at the ceiling fan spinning.
“No,” he said simply, staring into space.
They were both exhausted from fighting, and then running away when the campus officier saw them. Well, it was less of a fight and more of a beatdown, but still.
“What if she leaves me?” she asked dramatically, flailing her arms up for added effect.
“She won’t do that.” he stated plainly, too tired to play along with her antics at the moment. He doesn’t even know why she ran after that guy if she was just gonna make him throw all the punches. She’s lucky she has him for those reasons.
They heard the door unlock and both shot up into the sitting position, greeting Wonyoung kindly as she walked through the door. She walked over to her girlfriend on the couch, planting a sweet kiss on her lips.
Anticipating the awkwardness if he stayed, Sunghoon decided to take his leave, waving goodbye on the way out, making a promise to drop by soon.
“Oh my god Wonnie you won't guess what happened today,” Yujin said excitedly as Wonyoung walked towards the kitchen to make them something.
“What happened?” she asked genuinely, a knowing smile on her face, but Yujin couldn’t see it from where she sat.
Yujin told her everything that happened that day, but Wonyoung had already heard it all. News spread fast. She listened regardless, and she really enjoyed it too. If Yujin was happy about her day, she was too.
—
When she showed up to the next dance class, everyone wanted to know who her girlfriend was, but they didn’t ask because that was a bit personal. And they honestly didn’t think it was anyone special, but that didn’t stop them from being nosy.
She caught people a bit close to her lately. She decided to ask Sunghoon about it.
“Is it just me or is everyone in this class violating my personal space lately?” she asked on one of their water breaks.
“Yeah they are. They wanna see your lock screen, they think she’s on it,” he informed her of the situation.
“They told me because they don’t think I know who it is, for some reason.” he added, lying down fully on the ground to rest.
It was a decent plan, she’ll admit it. Her lockscreen and homescreen are both her girlfriend, but her face isn’t shown in it. She remembers exactly what Wonyoung said that day.
“If you make it a picture of me I'll look better in the picture, so eventually you won’t like my face anymore.”
It made no sense to her, but she listened anyway. She couldn’t argue with the adorable pout on her lips.
“Why don’t they just ask me,” she whined with a pout on her face.
“You’re scary, and you’re making it seem like a secret,” he admitted to her.
She sighed a deep sigh, “Maybe I’ll just tell everyone.”
“That kind of ruins the fun though doesn’t it?” he questioned honestly, deciding to open his eyes and look at her for the answer.
“Yeah it does,” she sighed out, an even bigger sigh this time as she plopped straight onto the ground out of her cross-legged position. She hated it, but she also liked all the mystery surrounding her situation. She could keep it up a little longer, she figured.
Sunghoon hummed as a response, lying back down and closing his eyes. Yujin did the same. A five minute break isn’t long enough, but they’ll make due.
—
Wonyoung remembered something from Yujin’s story. The one where she beat up that guy, he definitely deserved it by the way.
Homecoming. They still did that in college? Maybe it was just their college.
They never got the chance to do that in high school, so she thought it sounded fun. She’s a fast learner, so Yujin could probably teach her a dance or two. As she completed her thoughts she heard the lock click.
Hearing rustling at the door, she assumed Yujin would join her soon, so she began plating the food she just made. She was soon greeted with hands around her waist and a kiss on her temple.
“Hi,” she greeted Yujin with a warm smile.
“Hey,” she said, letting go of her waist to set the counter.
She finished plating the food and placed it down, taking her seat. She was soon joined by her girlfriend, and they ate in a comfortable silence.
After a bit, Wonyoung spoke first. “Wanna go to homecoming?” she asked, taking another bite of food.
“Sure. You wanna go?” Yujin answered. She was glad to go, as long as Wonyoung wanted to.
“We never got the chance to do something like that so…” she trailed off, now staring at her bowl of food, and not at the girl she was talking to.
Yujin knew what she meant. They couldn’t do anything like that in their home town, but they hated talking about how things used to be, it wasn’t important anymore. But it was ok, it was always welcome if she brought it up, because if they did bring it up, it mattered. They missed out on a lot of things because of their environment growing up, so maybe they could take back what was stolen by trying this out.
“It sounds fun,” Yujin said, a smile on her face, but her girlfriend still wasn’t looking at her, she just played with the food on her plate now.
She hated when she’d get sad, especially if it was about this. It made her so mad, at everyone else, not her.
She cupped her jaw in her right hand, forcing their eyes to meet in an emotional gaze, she planted a chaste kiss on her lips. Then she pulled her hand back, and resumed eating.
Wonyoung smiled, the kiss was all she needed to reassure her, to make her feel better. She also resumed eating.
—-
Yujin felt a bit ridiculous going to a dance in college, but if everyone else was doing it then maybe she shouldn’t feel that way. It was just for fun, she told herself.
She didn’t like large crowds or dressing up, so this isn’t really her scene, but she was happy to make her girlfriend happy. The girlfriend she was currently waiting for. For about twenty minutes now. They would’ve gone together, but Wonyoung said to leave a bit earlier because she had to record an assignment quickly.
Now she was third-wheeling Sunghoon and Sunoo by the bar, which is not what she signed up for. She kept waiting for a text, staring at her phone the entire time she was there.
“If you’re gonna look like an abandoned puppy, do it over there. You’re ruining the vibes,” he said to her, pointing to a corner across the room.
She pouted in response, childishly whining out her next words, “She wanted to do this and she isn’t even here yet.”
She was visibly upset, head resting on her arms stretched across the bartop as she pouted. Then she heard her phone ding, so she looked at it.
“I’m here, come get me.” the text read on her lockscreen. She complied excitedly, hopping off the barstool and walking toward the entrance. She was too relieved to notice the stares of everyone around her, today was the day they’d find out who she was dating, finally.
She walked out of the gymnasium into the chilly night air, letting her eyes adjust so she could find her girlfriend among the groups of people outside. Their school had many departments, so there were also many students.
She finally saw her while she was already approaching. It seemed like Wonyoung had spotted her first. She was wearing a short floral printed dress that exposed her shoulders, small pearls on her ears and her hair wavy. She recently dyed her hair brown, and it looked really nice with her outfit.
When they finally met, they shared a quick kiss and joined hands.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Wonyoung spoke first, a soft smile on her face.
“It’s ok, I don’t mind,” she replied, even though she definitely did mind only five minutes ago, she’d already forgotten about that.
Yujin was wearing a cream-colored vintage-looking lace dress with long, puffed sleeves. Her ears were adorned with dangling butterfly earrings, and her neck with a soft simple charm choker. The color of their dresses almost matched perfectly, but Yujin’s had lace detailing instead of flowers. Wonyoung thought she looked like a fairy, and Yujin thought the same about her, but neither voiced these things.
They walked inside, out of the frigid autumn air, neither of them brought a jacket so they were getting cold.
“They’re here right, you were waiting with them?” Wonyoung questioned, eyes scanning the massive room looking for their two friends.
“Yeah we were by the bar but they’re not there anymore,” Yujin spoke, focusing hard to find them before spotting a familiar pink-haired boy on the dance floor. And of course, Sunghoon was there too, because they were always together.
“Oh I see them over there,” Yujin shared, pulling her toward the direction of their friends. They heard the whispers around them, and they felt the eyes on them. But she didn’t hate this, everyone knew now, and it made her relieved.
She wasn’t sure what they chose to whisper about, but they could take their pick. They could talk about the Ahn Yujin was dating the Jang Wonyoung, and not some random girl. They could talk about how Jang Wonyoung was gay, which was probably the biggest surprise.
It was a bit ridiculous, how everyone reacted like it was their business. She understood how shocking it was to everyone, so she didn't mind the gossip. Because at least they looked at them like they were human.
Today would be a great night, Yujin vowed to herself, looking at the girl next to her as they kept walking toward their friends.
—
Periodically, Wonyoung was not ok. Yujin hated seeing her like this. There was nothing she could do but sit there, it made her feel powerless. But that’s because she was powerless.
They lie in bed together, Yujin holding her in an attempt to console her, chin on the top of her head. She wished she could protect her. She was shaking and sobbing, because she didn’t sleep well. The nightmare haunted her sleep again. Memories of stories untold, because they’re too hard to tell.
She took her medicine, she went to therapy, and she did everything she could, but there were cracks in every defense. So all she could do for the one she loved was sit there, and hold her while she suffered. She had to let it run its course.
—
She had a nightmare again.
The sound of footsteps approached her room.
At age eight, she was horrified. Thoughts of hands, no where she wanted them, no where she asked for them; but they took her regardless. She prayed for the sun to rise sooner. But it didn’t. So the night was long.
It was more than a nightmare, because it was a memory.
—
After fifteen minutes, her body stopped shaking, the tears stopped falling, and she could feel the comforting embrace that engulfed her.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered out, face in Yujin’s chest, melting into her arms.
“Don’t apologize,” Yujin breathed out, now stroking her hair softly.
Wonyoung knew it wasn’t her fault, but that didn’t stop it from feeling like it was.
Her life couldn’t be all better, because the dark clouds of her past would never go away. The things her father did to her body and her mind, it couldn’t vanish.
She looked up at the girl holding her and she thought, maybe if she couldn’t erase the bad memories, she could replace them with good ones. Maybe by covering up all her old scars, she could eventually forget. Maybe she could have hope.
Not a lot of hope, but still. Maybe they wouldn’t be as bad anymore. Because her dad wasn’t there, he wasn’t touching her, Yujin was. And unlike her father, she was there forever, and that was infinitely better.