Chapter Text
Thor and Loki were managing to make things work, and Loki was opening up more and using magic to get the neighbor kid in trouble less often. Thor was somewhat upset about that, he rather disliked that kid, but he wasn’t about to tell Loki to continue and send him mixed messages. He had debated on leaving Loki at home, he trusted that Loki wouldn’t get into much trouble, but Loki had asked to go with him and he figured there was little harm in that. At least if he didn’t run into Bucky or Steve, but Bucky had been particularly pleased to have to go to the convention anyways so he assumed that wouldn’t be an issue. Also Loki probably had little interest in the goings on of cupids; he probably just wanted a change of scenery.
The trip was a relatively long on, roughly a day’s drive, and Thor had made the mistake of letting Loki pick the music. Thankfully he talks Loki into food, which means he’d get at least a few minutes break from that crap Loki called music, he even knew the lyrics and Thor was under the impression that those noises weren’t even an actual language. It was like listening to Aerosmith but worse. The person on the other end of the drive through speaker asks what they want and Thor turns to Loki, “I want a milkshake. And nuggets,” someone in the back seat says and Thor and Loki let out embarrassingly high screams.
Thor turns to find Sif sitting there, brushing her hair out of her face, “what are you doing here?” he asks, ignoring the laughs of the drive thru staff.
“You insisted on traveling with this brute,” she says and kicks Loki’s seat, “someone had to come along and protect you. Also I happened to be the only one who fit in the space between the front and back seats so I ended up with this position half by default, but also I could kick your ass, don’t doubt my skills,” she says to Loki, giving him a look. Thor was fairly certain the drive thru staff was going to end up with abs from laughing so hard by the time this exchange was over.
“Oh fuck off, Sif, you’ll do nothing,” Loki says, not even registering her threats.
If Thor had faster reflexes he probably would have been able to catch Sif’s arm before she drove a dagger through the back of Loki’s head rest but she had always been faster than him, “next time that will be your head,” she snaps. Loki plays casual well but Thor can see the uneasy look he was giving Sif as he pulled the dagger out of the head rest. Sif snatches it back fast, taking advantage of their shock and apparent inability to keep up with her.
Eventually they manage to get their food and drive off, Sif happily eating her requested nuggets. Thor should have known it was a bad idea to not kick Sif out and two hours later he finally has enough, “would you two shut up!” he yells. They had been bickering for the last two hours about whether or not Thor liked Loki or Sif better, what was worse was that they had new argument every five minutes. “In case neither of you have noticed I am right here and I don’t like either one of you better than the other. Actually at the moment I don’t like either one of you because your both driving me nuts!” he says, giving the two of them looks.
They stay quiet for all of three seconds before they start bickering again, this time about the cat he and Loki had. “If you two don’t stop arguing right now I’m kicking both of you out and leave you on the side of the road,” he tells them.
“Actually you can’t kick me out and leave me here without repercussions from the Council,” Loki points out, “but there are no such repercussions for Sif,” he says, grinning at her.
Sif looks offended, “he will not leave me on the side of the road!” she says, outraged. This sparks a whole new argument and Thor sighs, coming to terms with the fact that he had at least ten more hours of this. Perhaps if he was lucky one of them would fall asleep.
*
“So you guys are like a million years old,” Tony says, “what’s the best thing about this century? Bruce and I have differing opinions and I am right and you two are going to confirm it,” he tells them, throwing himself on the couch.
“Memes,” Bucky says without missing a beat.
“Basic human rights,” Steve says, giving Bucky an odd look.
Tony and Bucky stare at Steve for a minute, frowning, “I like memes better,” Tony says, “but neither of you are right, the best thing of this century is obviously me and I am offended that neither of you got that. Bruce thinks the computer is the best thing about this century, but he’s totally forgetting Stark Industries was instrumental in that creation, ergo I am the best thing that has happened this century,” Tony says.
Steve squints at him, “vaccines, feminism, civil rights, desegregation, other oppressed groups gaining rights, and you seriously think you’re the best thing that happened this century?” Steve asks, giving Tony a disbelieving look.
Tony thinks about it for a second, “yep,” he says, grinning and walking off to the kitchen to get a drink. “By the way, memes is totally a better answer.”
“Memes aren’t that great,” Bucky says, negating Tony’s opinion on instinct.
Tony snorts, “yeah okay, let’s not act like you didn’t spend two hours reading off those astrological signs as random things last night. Also I’m half joking about being the best thing that’s happened this century, and only half because everyone should think they’re the best thing that’s happened… okay, well maybe not like Hitler and other shitty people, but your average person. It’s not like we’d know about all the other good things if we weren’t alive, or how to fix any of the bad stuff because you know, not existing will do that,” Tony says, returning to the couch with a bottle of water.
“That… actually makes sense,” Steve says, “that kind of deep, actually.”
“Ehh, it not deep, just an observation of the obvious,” Tony says, spreading himself out on the couch, purposefully taking up Bucky’s spot too, which wouldn’t be so bad if Bucky wasn’t already sitting there.
“Who cares about Tony’s not deep comments, I totally found the signs as Tony Stark’s questionable fashion decisions and oh my god Steve, you have to see the crappy outfit you got. Honestly Tony, these suits need to be eradicated, hey, I actually like that one!” he says, frowning at his phone.
Steve goes over to Bucky, looking over his shoulder at the screen, “Tony what the hell even is that?” he asks, frowning at the phone, “is it supposed to be American themed?”
Bucky and Steve puzzle themselves over the outfit and Tony suddenly remembers which bad outfit they were talking about in particular, “oh come on, I lost a bet with Rhodey, that can’t count!”
“Tony I think you might need therapy if you thought for any reason this was an acceptable thing to wear,” Bucky says, side eyeing Tony.
*
Natasha wrinkles her nose, “ugh, I hate trainees, do we have to?” she asks.
“Well seems how Peggy relocated to Britain thanks to you yes, we do. You should apologize to her by the way, she was only trying to save you guys some pain,” Steve says.
Natasha glares at him, “she told us all you were dead when you weren’t, do you even know what that did to poor Bucky?” she asks. They had had this argument several times and they never seemed to go anywhere with it.
“I’m aware, but it’s better than telling him and sitting in a coma for centuries because he’d never let me go, which was what Peggy was trying to head off. Not the best way to go about it I agree, but she was just trying to help,” he says. Natasha gives him another angry look but lets it go for now, at least until something else came up and it started all over again.
The trainee ended up being a blind lawyer, Matt Murdock, and he was surprisingly enjoyable company. Usually going over protocol was boring and painful but Matt was a good conversationalist and he even made Nat laugh, which was basically impossible when she was in a bad mood. “So that’s it?” he asks a half an hour later.
They nod, “pretty much yeah, it isn’t really all that difficult, minus the staying out of human politics, humans are assholes,” Steve says. Natasha snorts and shakes her head, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard about a million times before.
Matt nods, “so I know,” he says quietly, “but the not interfering with humans thing, you don’t always stick to that, I’ve heard the rumors, how have you managed that?” he asks.
Natasha grins and gives Steve a look. He sighs, he could practically sense another him, “the rules are that we can’t change the course of human history, which would require us to do something pretty big, so basically I use bad wording against the Council on a semi-regular basis.”
Matt smiles, “ah, that makes sense,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, ugh, take advice from Steve when you need it, he’s pretty much a master at twisting words at this point,” Natasha says, shaking her head.
“I’m a lawyer,” Matt points out, “I know all about twisting things to your advantage.”
“Oh hey, you met my new lawyer,” Tony says, loudly bursting through the door of the coffee shop they were in.
“You two know each other?” Matt asks.
“We should, we’re dating,” Tony says, “but admittedly I’m a pretty hard guy to get to know.”
“Don’t exaggerate Tony, you aren’t that hard to get to know, you just like to think you’re a mystery,” Steve says, nudging Tony with his foot.
“I am so a mystery, Harley agrees,” Tony says, sticking out his tongue.
“Harley would tell you the sky was purple if you told him that,” Steve points out.
“Oh right, speaking of bad advice if a seven year old calls you in the middle of the night saying he can’t sleep don’t tell him to listen to enter sandman by Metallica, he will have nightmares and you will get yelled at by his mother,” Tony says, stealing a bite of Natasha’s donut.
“Speaking of children, Clint is still crying about tacos, he’s living vicariously through Lucky, who really shouldn’t eat tacos,” Natasha says.
“I think I win,” Tony says, stealing another bite of her donut.
“Get your own!” she tells him, trying to unsuccessfully steal her food back.