Chapter Text
Chapter 9: In Which Two Selves Meet
karkatyells had been really angry lately! Nothing was going right in his life, it seemed. Just a bunch of circumstances provided by the fate of life, seemingly designed by Hussie himself to torment the poor troll and enrage him. Why did bananas exist? Who were the Blues Brothers? What was a yolo, anyway? karkatyells knew, however, that he would only live once, and that he needed to make the most of his life.
He spotted something odd in the distance, this fine day. It was humid, but the warmth emitting from the green sun was not too harsh that it would completely fry his brain. That is what he wondered, though! If his brain wasn’t fried, then why did he see himself in a very public display of indecency out on the streets of Troll Houston?!
“Hey Fuckat!” karkatyells expleted. That was usually what he said when he met a clone or copy of himself. This Karkat paid no heed to his JPEG-impressioned alternate universe brother, as he was in the middle of a very ingracious sex act involving several buckets, a leg, and two female trolls that karkatyells was unfamiliar with.
Oh yeah, well if karkatyells wasn’t good enough for THIS Karkat, then he’d show him up in the only way he knew how-
“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”
karkatyells stormed off.
Nepeta turned and looked back, seeing the compressed karkatyells behind her. She was disconcerted for but a moment before she turned back and continued their threesome, with her favorite activity; getting fingered with her own foot.
Karkat and Aradia were becoming fast friends as well. Though they had sex, and pretty good sex if Karkat was the judge (and he was, as he was always the judge of tentacle bonding activities) the romantic side of their relationship did not express itself, and they realized that they were better off as fuck buddies. Besides, even though she kept telling him that she swung mainly for guys, he wasn’t sure about that at all. Now they were taking turns fingering Nepeta with her foot while telling some funny stories about Troll College.
“YEAH, I HAD SOME CRAZY DAYS BACK IN TROLL COLLEGE. THAT’S WHERE I MET NEPETA.”
“Oh yeah. Crazy’s one word to describe it.”
“I CAN BARELY BELIEVE I PASSED ANY OF MY CLASSES.”
“True that. I remember when I had to take my finals for Titanometry, during the middle of the test, some girl started eating me out. While I was taking my test! I’m glad the teacher didn’t see, or she might have joined in! That would have been awkward.”
Karkat and Nepeta looked at each other.
“...”
Nepeta, finally done with her feet-excursions, began looking at Karkat longingly. “Honey, remember our wedding day? Those Bulbears were so nice.”
Upon saying this, she and he started making out. Both of their shirts were still on, despite the hours that both of them had been fucking in the middle of public. That would soon change. Nepeta put one hand around Karkat’s magic stick, and the other on the back of his shirt. She gently caressed them both, and then suddenly, violently, jerked them both off. It was pretty sexy, until Aradia accidentally farted really loudly.
“Oops!”
“IT’S OKAY.”
Undaunted, they continued. Karkat began his round of the game, and went for a bold move, using both his hands to take off her shirt at the same time! But what was underneath was... preplexing.
“WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THAT.”
Both he and Aradia were confused by an odd contraption where Nepeta’s breasts were.
“It’s called a bra,” Nepeta explained. Neither of them understood at all. What purpose did it serve?
“WHAT PURPOSE DOES IT SERVE.”
“Why, it helps you fuck better!” She never explained her claim, but she wasn’t able to; Kakat began beating her to a pulp with her leg.
“WELL GUESS WHAT.” Karkat seemed inexplicably angry.
“....What...?” Nepeta gasped for breath, nearly unconcious.
“I’M INTO KISMESSITUDE.”
The End.