Chapter Text
Four days till raid
You thanked the gods that you had remembered your headphones, music was your livelihood, without it, you would have gone insane already. Your perfect day would be listing to music and people finally getting it through their thick skulls that if you had headphones on you did, in fact, NOT WANT TO TALK TO THEM.
Once again, you found yourself in the mess hall, though, you were alone, everyone seemed to be sleeping in. This was the first recon mission, first up was your team of course, just your luck, if you fucked up everyone would be so angry, you couldn’t sleep anymore, not with so many thoughts running through your head. For some reason, you couldn’t seen to calm down, usually you could just not care and repress it until the event was there and you didn’t have the time to stress over it.
It didn’t help that there was only two topics bouncing around in your brain, one wasn’t professional and one was too professional, you were torn between the two. It was obvious that you had quickly grown attached to the massive sniper, you thought about him a lot, especially when you were alone…but you also thought about all the ways just existing fucked everything up, they could probably go through with this mission just fine without you, but because you had been assigned, there was no replacement.
You were glad there was no one around, tears began falling down your face, sometimes falling to your lips and you could taste your own salty sadness. Your head hit the table with an uncomfortable thud, but you didn’t care, a small bruise on your forehead wouldn’t kill you. Covering yourself with your arms, you sobbed, momentarily not caring if someone walked in, you could just say you were missing home or that someone you loved died, or you could ignore them, maybe pretend to be sleeping? It didn’t matter, your ugly sobs echoed throughout the empty room, as though it was mocking you.
The repeat of your cried sounded like laughter, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” it screamed into your head, tormenting you, degrading you for being so pathetic, all you could do was accept it, you deserved it anyway, what kind of soldier would get so upset about dumb shit.
The sound of boots clicking against tile made your sadness turn to fear, which quickly turned to anger, you glared at the entrance, ready to lie or fight your way out of this embarrassing situation. Your gaze softens slightly as your aforementioned “crush" walks in cautiously, he scanned the room and locked eyes with your own, red, puffy ones.
“Uh…wie geht’s? (How are you?)” really? Was all you could think to yourself, he obviously knew, you might as well just kept your mental breakdown going.
“So lala (so-so)” you say, not having the energy to lie but also refusing to state the obvious. He awkwardly stood there for a moment, you felt a little bad, you called down enough and realized he never did anything, it wasn’t his fault you liked him, he didn’t deserve a death stare and a cold tone, even still, he slowly walked near you.
“Kann ich hier sitzen? (Can I sit here?)” he asked timidly, you thought for a moment, he was asking to sit opposite of you, still much closer than ever before, you really wanted to just tell him to sit right next to you, you wanted to hug him, you wanted to cry into his chest and let him hold you, you needed it, his love.
“ja" was all you said, avoiding eye contact, as he sat, you stared at the table, still wet with your tears, you felt a twinge of embarrassment, he probably thought you were pathetic and weak now.
You both sat in silence, as you had many times before, so many times in fact, you had begun to grow fond of your “silent chats", which consisted of you both just being present. It was nice, to have someone around and not have them actively judging you or looking at you like you were a rotting corpse.
“Es tuit mir leid (sorry)” he said, breaking the silence,
“Hm?” you questioned,
“I have not been kind to you" he explained “I am not as welcoming as others" his accent and soft-spoken voice muddling the words, but you could understand him thankfully.
“it’s fine, I’m not bothered by it"
“But…you are upset” he questioned,
“oh, not at you, I’m just…not feeling well today" he nodded understandably, continuing the silence like before.
After some more time he asked you,
“What are you listing to?” he gestured to your ear,
“Music” you replied
“Can” he hesitated, “can I listen?” You shrugged and handed him an earbud, the song that was playing was one of your favorites, vendetta! By MUPP, Sadfriendd. It had a good beat and let you get lost in the melody. He looked intrigued but you still wanted some validation, you wanted to know what he listened to.
“Do you like it?” he looked a little lost,
“ja, ich mag (I like)” he said, snapping out of a haze, you didn’t realize until it was too late, the next song that played was also one you really liked but you had forgotten that König had the other earbud, Treat me like a slut by Kim Petras, you only noticed when König stilled, his arms on the table had tensed.
Treat me like a slut, little dirty bitch I love to fuck
“are you ok?” you asked him,
“y-yes I’m fine" he managed, you weren’t frantic to change the song like you thought you would, instead your body moved on its own. Your hand reached his and slowly moved up his forearm, you could feel him tensing under your touch, but also relaxing when he got used to it.
He was so big, everything about him, every moment you spent with him or thinking about him you fell even further for him. You were now standing, your hand trailing up his bicep and across his chest, both yours and his eyes following your hand.
You reached the hem of his mask and looked him in the eyes, instead of pulling it up, you snaked your arm around his neck and pulled your face closer to his.
“is this okay?” you made sure to check with him,
“Yes" he said breathlessly, you put your mouth in his with the thin cloth of his hood separating you both, even with the barrier, you could feel him perfectly, with every second, the kiss became more than just a stupid thought, it turned into something more, maybe a promise? A prayer? Or even a question in itself.