Chapter Text
Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by herself on the bench and of having nothing to do.
It was drizzling lightly, she wasn’t bothered by the rain – it was relaxing. The smell of damp earth was strong and pungent, but she loved it.
The dogs were whimpering in the distance, for whatever reason she didn’t know – nor did she care. Boredom faded away and sadness took its place, leaving her chilly and feverish. Maybe she shouldn’t stand outside in the rain, even if it was just a light drizzle.
She closed her eyes when a soft and cold gust of wind caressed her body; she loved September.
Alice let her head fall back, beyond the rim of the bench. She inhaled deeply the smell of the rain, and the faint drops rolled down her cheeks as if they were tears.
“Who in the world am I?” thought Alice to herself, “Ah, that's the great puzzle” she smiled, when her mind automatically finished the sentence. She sighed, trying to think about everything but the last days events – she inevitably ended up wondering about them.
“Am I the Rabbit?” she asked to herself, “or am I Alice?” it was so confusing. “Maybe I am both, or I am neither”.
She didn’t know her real name anymore. She didn’t know she had a real name, she didn’t know her real mother wasn’t her real mother… that’s what Cordelia and Bedelia told her.
The memories of the last trip to Wonderland were blurred, there was a deep mist around those images – just like the mist that was covering the tip of the trees that surrounded the big white house.
Alice couldn’t hear the Hare anymore, she wondered where he was – and the Rabbit was quiet as well. They were all quiet… she felt incredibly alone.
Every time she closed her eyes at night, the image of the dead Hatter flashed before her closed eyelids – it was the only thing she was dreaming about lately. The thought of it was almost unbearable; how could the Rabbit have done something so terrible? He killed the Hatter, her Hatter.
Alice couldn’t believe he was going to hurt her – the Hatter would have never done something like that. He was her friend – they had fun together, he was her Hatter and she was his Alice.
She couldn’t believe the Hatter had tried to choke her, neither… but maybe he wasn’t going to choke her to death, maybe he was just mad – maybe he was going to stop, if the Rabbit hadn’t stopped him first.
And what was the whole thing about her mother? She was so confused – why did the Rabbit never tell her what was inside the Duchess’ room? That was the most blurry memory of all.
Alice sighed again, what was she going to do now? She wanted to know, but she also didn’t.
What was the point of knowing what had happened, now? Nothing could change the past, she wasn’t going to have her actual real mother back. And what about her real father? Why didn’t he ever do anything? Was he an accomplice to her fake real mother? Her head was going to explode…
Alice was curious to know all the answers to her questions, even if she knew they wouldn’t fix anything in her life. God, they might even bring new problems into her life, was it a risk she was willing to take?
She opened her eyes and the grey sky greeted her; she couldn’t see past the clouds and the mist. It was early morning and she was so tired, the nightmares kept her awake most of the night.
Soft and cadenced, the ticking sound of a clock filled the air and Alice thought that her ears had just failed her.
Puzzled, she lifted her head and turned towards the direction where the sound was coming from. With surprise, she saw a White Rabbit with red eyes running close by her – its pocket clock ticking loudly before it put it back in its waistcoat.
It walked passed by Alice without even noticing her, and disappeared behind the house, after turning the corner.
Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it enter Cordelia’s greenhouse, closing the door behind it.
She ran towards the door and put her feet between the door and the doorframe, before it shut closed and she pushed it, entering the greenhouse.
“Mr. Rabbit?” she called, but no one answered. The colours of flowers were so bright, her eyes almost hurt, and their smell was so intense that she missed the smell of the rain already.
Closing the door carefully, Alice started to wander around, looking for her White Rabbit, but it was nowhere to be found, so she started peeking into Cordelia’s stuff.
After smelling some flowers and poking at some plants, she spotted a vase where tiny mushrooms were growing; she recognised the spices – they were known as Liberty Caps, and they were extremely hallucinogenic. She picked some of the tiny white mushrooms, ate one and put the rest in her pocket, for later.
Who knew Cordelia had such interesting things in her greenhouse.
Alice then proceeded to examine the numerous collection of coloured ampules, containing different liquids inside. She had always wanted to ask Cordelia what were those things…
She started to hear someone singing, and realised it was a big pink flower above her head – it was singing a beautiful song, and it was swinging its petals at the same time. Soon, the other flowers joined it, and they all were singing. Alice started to spin around with her arms open wide, dancing to the song of the pink flowers, while all the other colours were mixing together.
When she stopped, she started to giggle uncontrollably; she was feeling dizzy, her head was still spinning.
After a second, she saw a grin in the air. She smiled back, and a head appeared around the grin.
“Hello,” she said, laughing to the head of the Cat. It wasn’t a very appealing cat, honestly. One of its ears was bitten off, and it had a scar on its right eye – which was missing.
“Hello, Alice” the Cat had a deep yet feminine voice – Alice liked it.
The Cat knew her name, Alice thought it was funny. “What are you doing here, Mrs. Cat?” she asked, trying to stay steady on her feet, while the rest of the room was spinning around her.
“Miss, please” the Cat corrected her, and Alice blushed with embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, lowering her gaze and finding out that three tiny blue mice were dancing in a circle, around her feet.
She stomped on the mice, jumping from one to another, killing them effectively and she looked up to see the Cat’s reaction.
“Thank you,” she said, “I was just starting to get very hungry” the rest of her body appeared, and Alice noticed she was a dirty grey cat, almost deep purple. “But I don’t like when someone kills my prey”.
Once again, Alice blushed, lowering her head. She doubted the Cat liked her…
After she was finished eating her breakfast, the Cat jumped on Cordelia’s working table and she started wandering around, sniffing at the Supreme’s newest potions.
“Mh,” she purred, “I don’t like this one” she said, pushing an ampule off the table with her paw.
Alice’s reflexes were still good and she rushed to save the little bottle, “Don’t do that!” she nagged the Cat, but she shrugged, sitting and starting to lick her dirty fur.
When Alice lowered her eyes to the bottle, she noticed it was shiny and it contained some kind of red liquid inside – she wondered what it tasted like. There was a tag on it, perhaps it said what it was.
Alice was disappointed when she found out that the tag didn’t inform her about the content of the bottle, instead it read ‘drink me’, beautifully printed on it in large letters.
And since it wasn’t labelled as ‘poison’ – because Alice knew that, if you drink from a bottle marked ‘poison’, it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later – she ventured to taste it, and, finding it very nice, she very soon finished it off.
“What a curious feeling!” said Alice to the Cat, “I must be shutting up like a telescope!”
And so it was indeed: the ground was getting closer and closer, until she hit it and it all faded into darkness.
“That poor girl,” Cordelia whined, as her sister took a sip from her Irish Coffee, “I don’t wonder why she turned out to be so twisted” she commented. The two of them were sitting in the kitchen, having breakfast.
Bedelia was looking outside the window, barely listening to Cordelia’s voice. It started raining more profusely, the sound of the drops hitting hard against the window glass was something that she had always loved. She found something almost poetic in it.
“Are you listening to me, sister?” she heard Cordelia ask, a bit altered.
Bedelia raised her gaze to her sister, and nodded. “Yes,” she replied absentminded, “but I still think you shouldn’t have look inside her mind. We were doing something together…”
The two sisters had been arguing about that subject for the past few days. Cordelia had convinced Alice to let her into her mind, to find more answers. Alice wasn’t completely okay with that, but she let the Supreme do what she wanted.
Bedelia stopped them as soon as she found them, she hated the idea of using magic for something that she was already doing by her own means.
“I’ve already apologised, Bedelia” Cordelia whined, “plus, we now have some important information we didn’t have before”.
That was true, and yet Bedelia was mad about it. “Nothing we didn’t know before”.
“Oh, please!” Cordelia almost laughed in her face, “all you had were some indistinct sentences put together, I saw what happened…”
Bedelia hated it, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “We don’t know if what you saw was what actually happened”.
“Her aunt killed her mother and took her place, they were twins and she wanted a baby… she took Alice or whatever her name is – if you didn’t interrupt me—” she started but Bedelia didn’t let her finish.
“You sawwhat happened, yes,” she agreed, but it was obvious there was more she wanted to say, “but you don’t know what happened” she added – the arrogance in her tone was palpable. “You don’t know her aunt was so obsessed by Lewis Carroll’s book that she wanted to keep Alice a six-year old forever. You don’t know that she would have killed her and have another baby just to let Alice remain a child… your powers couldn’t see this, am I wrong, sister?”
Cordelia stayed quiet for a few moments, drinking from her mug and breathing slowly through her nose. When she finally put the mug down, there was a resolution in her eyes. “And how do you know all this?”
“She told me… during our sessions” Bedelia answered, and Cordelia was quite surprised by her reply. “Actually, the Rabbit told me. I am not entirely sure Alice is aware of this information”.
“That Rabbit creeps me out,” Cordelia commented, shrugging.
“He only kills to protect Alice,” Bedelia told her with a calmer tone, “the Hare, on the other hand, kills for pure fun – he’s the one who should worry you the most”.
Before her sister could reply, Bedelia sensed another presence in the room, she turned her back to Cordelia to face Misty Day.
The ghost seemed upset about something, she was twisting her fingers in her lap. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I think there’s something you should see” she said, in a worried tone.
Both Cordelia and Bedelia stood up slowly, sharing a suspicious glare. Cordelia turned back to Misty. “What is it?” she asked, looking her straight in the eyes.
“I—” she stuttered, nervously, “I think Alice is dead”.
The news shocked both women; Bedelia acted first. She shoved the chair against the table and quickly headed to the door. “Where is she?”
“Ah—” Misty followed her, “in the greenhouse, I found her there, she’s on the floor… she looks dead to me”.
Leaving the house in a rush, Bedelia didn’t mind the rain that was pouring on her – when she heard her sister voice calling for her, she didn’t stop, but she turned her head towards her. Cordelia was running with a black umbrella, but Bedelia was already soaking wet – she couldn’t care less in that moment.
When they opened the greenhouse door, Misty appeared inside, beside Alice’s body.
Bedelia was sure her heart missed a few beats when she saw her, she was laying on the ground in a pool of vomit; her lips were blue and her eyes closed. Pieces of shattered glass were spread next to her.
“Why did she do this to herself?” Cordelia whispered in an astonished tone, while Bedelia was already by Alice’s side, checking for vital signs.
“She didn’t” Bedelia answered, placing two fingers on her neck – on the pulse point and feeling nothing.
“What?” she heard Misty asking the question, she didn’t avert her eyes from the body.
“She didn’t do this to herself, someone else made her do it,” it was out of the question, Alice wasn’t suicidal. She looked at the glass around her – she had knelt on a shard that creaked under her weight, luckily it was her left knee. “What was inside the bottle? Help me put her on the table” she hurried Misty to help her.
They didn’t have to do anything because Cordelia used her powers to pick her up and she floated into the air, landing carefully on her working table – where the other bodies had been placed, Bedelia couldn’t help but notice.
The Supreme knelt beside the glass shards and she placed her fingertip on one of them, swiping it lightly, she then proceeded to smell it and she got up, approaching Bedelia and Misty. “Plant fertilizer,” she reached for another bottle, “just like this one”.
It was a crystal liquid, the bottle was a simple ampule. On the tag there was the name of the things she had used to produce it.
Once again, Bedelia tried to feel Alice’s wrist, her neck – she even placed a silver knife under her nose to see if she was breathing. “There’s no pulse, she’s not breathing” she finally said, her voice cold. Alice’s body was still warm. “Cordelia, do something”.
“There’s nothing I can do…” she said, approaching her sister and placing a comforting hand on her arm, but Bedelia drew it away. “She’s dead, I’m sorry”.
“Don’t be an idiot, sister” Bedelia’s anger was ringing in her voice. “You can bring her back without effort, do it”.
“She’s right,” Misty appeared by her side, but she didn’t jump this time – her eyes were too focused on the corpse before her, “I mean however she comes back, it can’t be worse than she already was… right? You can’t fuck her up more, can you? I can help…”
It was her fault, she had put her through too much, Alice couldn’t bear it. She saw her mind slowly disintegrating, session after session… she should have stopped when it was clear that the reason behind her illness were buried deep inside her brain.
Cordelia said something, but Bedelia wasn’t listening. She was holding Alice’s hand, guilt was devouring her… how could she let something similar happen? She was supposed to see this coming, she was supposed to look after her. Bedelia was selfish and something horrible came to her mind, how could she survive another fail? Another human life wasted because of her negligence.
“Bedelia, step back” her sister repeated, this time grabbing her by the arm and pulling her lightly.
Bedelia stumbled, looking for her cane – realising just now that she had left it in the kitchen. She held onto the table for balance, but she left plenty of room for Cordelia.
The Supreme and the Coven’s ghost were facing each other – the table between them – and they joined hands above Alice’s body.
As Bedelia was observing the scene, she found herself unable to breath, until her lungs started to hurt and she had to take a deep breath. A painful cramp clenched her stomach, that and the smell of the vomit on the floor almost made her feel sick.
She saw Cordelia leaning close to Alice, whispering something and placing a kiss on the top of her forehead.
When she stood up again, the only thing Bedelia could hear was her heart pounding in her chest. She was sure it was going to explode – she wanted to throw up.
She didn’t dare to blink, her eyes were itching – right when she thought it was all useless, Alice opened her eyes wide and inhaled deeply and loudly, sitting up on the table.
“That fucking Cat!” was the first thing she said with a sore voice, and Bedelia sighed in relief, placing a hand on her stomach, to calm herself.
“What?” Misty asked, puzzled while Cordelia was still nervous.
Alice looked around, with the sleeve of her shirt she cleaned up the corner of her mouth, she grimaced at the smell of vomit. “She tried to kill me… again”.
“She succeeded in doing so,” Bedelia sighed tired all of a sudden, sinking into a chair next to the table. It creaked dangerously under her, but that was the last thing she cared about.
Alice seemed confused by her words, and she looked at Cordelia for an explanation.
“You drank a whole bottle of fertilizer, Alice. Misty found your body here, I brought you back… you don’t remember anything?” Cordelia asked her in a soft tone.
Alice shook her head, looking at her like a lost puppy, she then did the same with Misty and Bedelia. “I was dead?” she asked.
Bedelia nodded, unable to speak again. She was trying to let her heart calm down.
Alice’s face lit up, and she smiled happily. “Awesome!”
Bedelia’s eyes snapped at her – a dangerous light in them.
Alice’s smile disappeared when she noticed it. “What?” she asked, innocently.
Bedelia didn’t say a word, she stood up and left. It wasn’t raining anymore but the ground was wet and slippery.
She carefully reached for the bench she usually sat on, when she wanted some time on her own.
Time passed before she felt a hand placed on her should. “Bedelia?” Alice’s voice woke her completely and she jumped – she must have dozed off. “I’m sorry if I pissed you off…” she said as she sat beside her.
Bedelia turned her head to her, Alice’s damp hair was stuck to her forehead and cheeks. Her eyes were green and bright as usual, she looked fine. She was dead less than an hour before – probably, she didn’t know what time it was. “You were dead, and I felt guilty about it” she said. She didn’t want to add more, and she fell quiet.
Alice sighed, lifting her eyes to the sky. “That cloud over there looks like a cupcake” she said casually, pointing at something. “I’m hungry, I haven’t had breakfast yet”.
Closing her eyes, Bedelia took a deep breath – she knew Alice wanted to change the subject and she decided to indulge her wishes, but she didn’t reply to her statement.
“Before I went to the greenhouse,” Alice told her, after a long pause, “I was thinking about something. I was thinking about leaving” when Bedelia didn’t say anything, she continued. “I want to go to Daresbury, to see if I can find out something more about my family… without magic. I want to do it the right way, no cheating” Bedelia appreciated the gesture, but she didn’t like the idea of Alice leaving anyways. She almost preferred that Alice asked for Cordelia’s help to get her answers. “And,” Alice continued, since she was still quiet, “I was thinking that you could use some time away from here…”
Bedelia knew what she was doing, but she didn’t want to leave the house. She wasn’t sure she could. “It’s not safe for me out there,” she said, “your Hatter is dead, but my Hatter is still alive” Bedelia stood up with a groan – she needed her cane now. “And I don’t like the weather” she added, starting to head towards the house.
“Wait, wait!” Alice called for her, and she stopped, turning around. She found the girl right behind her. “I don’t want to leave forever…” she said, sounding a bit lost. “I—” she stammered, “I really like it here… with you” then she added immediately, “and the others” a light blush coloured her cheeks. She was cute for being a psychopath serial killer that was raised from the death, Bedelia thought to herself and she smiled at the thought.
“What is your point?” She asked, sounding more upset than she actually was.
Alice sighed deeply, she was uncomfortable. “I’ll be back… I want to come back, I just need to understand a few things, but… I’ll be back” she repeated.
Bedelia looked in her eyes longer than she should have, she was starting to be emotional and she hated it. She didn’t want to say something that sounded like a goodbye, because she really wasn’t in the mood for goodbyes. “I can walk you to the airport, I won’t go further”.
Alice smiled and Bedelia automatically smiled back, then Alice’s smile changed into a smirk as she spoke. “While I’m away, there’s something you can think about… and you can give me the answer when you see me again”.
Bedelia frowned, surprised by her words, but she nodded intrigued. “What is it?” she asked.
Alice straightened her back and cleared her throat. “Tell me, why is a raven like a writing desk?”
Cordelia watched as a limousine left the house with Bedelia and Alice, she followed the black car until it disappeared from her sight, Alice’s old jalopy didn’t want to start so she had to leave it at the Academy.
What a day she had ahead… it wasn’t even lunchtime and so many things had already happened. Alice left so quick she didn’t even have the time to fully understand the reason why she had left.
She told her she was going to be coming back and Cordelia really hoped that nothing bad would happen to her while she was away. She knew something was wrong with the girl, but at the same time, she had something that made its way into your heart. Like it or not, you couldn’t help but grow attached to Alice Carmichael.
“You did great, in the greenhouse” Cordelia spun around at the sound of Misty’s voice and smiled at her sight.
“Thank you,” she said, joining her by her side and when she was close enough, she reached forward to place a soft peck on Misty’s lips, before walking past her, “but I couldn’t have done it without your help”.
“You think she’ll be okay? She seems a nice person after all… some of them, at least” she corrected herself, still a bit confused by Alice’s situation.
“I really hope so,” Cordelia answered, sitting at her desk and opening the book she was working on, “she wants to come back, so we’ll know eventually”.
Hours had passed, and Bedelia still hadn’t come back. Cordelia wasn’t worried, it was a long way from there to the airport; so she was surprised when she heard the doorbell ringing and she approached her window again.
From there, she saw a man handing a box to Kyle, then walk back to the gates.
She immediately left her study and headed towards the first floor; she saw the boy when he was starting to disappear behind a corner. “Kyle!” she called him and he stopped. “Who was at the door?” she asked, eyeing the box.
It was a small gift box, wrapped in fancy paper with a dark red bow on the top. “A man,” Kyle said, “he had a scar on his face” he added, then he showed her the box. “He left this for your sister”.
Cordelia didn’t like it one bit, no one knew that Bedelia was staying there… “Did he know she was my sister?” she asked.
Kyle shook his head. “No, he told me this was for Dr. Du Maurier and left”.
Cordelia took the box and smiled at the boy, “Thank you, Kyle… I’ll leave it in her bedroom” she wasn’t good at hiding her concern, but Kyle knew her and he didn’t ask questions.
Bedelia was staring at the open box on her bed. She had left Alice at the airport and she did say goodbye, because she felt like it.
When she got home her sister told her about the box and the man… she had no idea who the man was, but by Kyle’s description about him fitted Will Graham, the scar on his face betrayed him.
She was shaking with anger at the sight of what was inside the box – she hadn’t dared to take it out.
A fancy shoe, a shoe she recognised as one of her own – the one that she left at the dinner party, when she teleported away.
Two notes were placed inside the box. Bedelia took the first one and noticed it was a copy of the prescription she signed for Alice’s medication… she knew it was dangerous and reckless, but Alice needed help and that was the only thing she could do at the time. She didn’t care if now Hannibal knew where she was, there were a bunch of witches to watch her back now.
The second note was just a little white card, she recognised Hannibal’s clear handwriting, the card said:
Dessert has yet to be served.
Hannibal Lecter
Bedelia’s blood boiled with anger and she crumpled up the card, throwing it away. She tried to stay calm, but images of him flashed before her eyes and she couldn’t take it.
She heard a loud sound and the smell of fire filled the room – when she lifted her gaze, a chair was ablaze and she breathed slowly to calm herself.
Bedelia knew she would have to face Hannibal without losing herself this time, she wouldn’t let him take anything else from her.
Right when that thought crossed her mind, her heart skipped a bit – as she realised something she hadn’t notice before: it wasn’t just her name on the prescription, but also Alice’s.
Looking into the fire, the flames were reflected into Bedelia’s blue eyes; anger was consuming her.
The fire roared loudly as the chair crumbled and she pictured Hannibal in its place.