Chapter Text
“Hey Hollis! Order up for table eight!”
Laura shoots up from her usual position on the end of the bar dropping her notebook and pen in her hurry.
“Coming!”
She’s been working at the ABC for the last two months and Danny has made her feel like part of the team from the first day. When she had finally mustered up the guts to call her father and reveal she had walked out on her well paid, steady job in favour of serving drinks and what he called “hippy rabbit food” it hadn’t gone down well but she thinks that the surprise of that first revelation made the next thing she told him a little less shocking. That she was gay and was currently living with her girlfriend in one of the roughest parts of NYC.
“I can’t say I’m thrilled pumpkin...but all I’ve ever wanted since your mom died was for you to be happy. Are you happy?”
She remembers taking a deep breath and looking up at the faint glow coming from the window of Carmilla’s apartment and knowing Carmilla would be where she had left her sitting cross legged on the bed, sketch pad on her knee, fingers turning black from the charcoal she preferred to sketch with made her feel warm inside. She slid an extra coin into the payphone unable to stop the grin spreading across her face.
“Yes. I am”
She places the drinks on the table and she’s surprised to see Perry with someone she hasn’t seen before. “Laura! Come sit down for a minute I want to introduce you to someone.” Laura thinks Perry still looks drawn and pale. In fact this is the first time she’s seen Perry outside of her apartment for at least two months. She and Carmilla had been taking it in turns to drop off groceries and give her some company. It was good to see her out even if the smile on her face looked forced.
“Laura, this is Melanippe Callis, a friend of mine and the editor of the Village Voice.” Melanippe reaches across the table and grips Laura’s hand “And please.Call me Mel.”
Mel looks like no editor Laura has even seen. Her tightly curled hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun, leg up on the chair, her tatty band t shirt and ripped jeans a far cry from the neatly pressed suits and balding men that Laura was used to dealing with.
“Perry tells me you’ve written an article.”
Laura watches her take a long swig of beer straight from the bottle. “Uh, Yes, I did. I didn’t get in published though. It’s about-” Mel cuts her off a smile quirking her lips. “People living with HIV and AIDs. I know, Perry won’t stop talking about it. If it’s alright with you I’d like to read it...It’s not our usual type of article but a lot of our readers are affected by HIV and if I like it I think we could find a spot for it in our next edition .”
Laura feels her mouth drop open. “Are...are you fucking serious!?”
It’s just at that moment that Laura realises that she has just shouted at the top of her voice. In the middle of the full Cafe. Danny is standing at the bar, frozen in shock, mouth slightly open in the middle of wiping the surfaces, Kirsch with a similar slack jawed expression is over filling a glass of coke so that it spills onto the floor.
Mel throws her head back and laughs. It’s a warm and honest sound and Laura finds herself giggling too.
A a chime of laughter to her left startles her silent for a second.
Perry. Perry was laughing. She hadn’’t heard her laugh in months.They take one look at each other and suddenly they all collapse in helpless giggles.They only stop when Danny’s lanky shadow looms over them. Laura is clutching her stomach still shaking with silent laughter and Perry and Mel are hanging onto each other tears streaming down their cheeks.
“I’m not even going to ask.” Danny shakes her head and collects the empty bottles on the table. “Laura do you mind giving Elsie a hand in the kitchen? We’ve had a big to go order and she’s all on her own back there.”
Laura jumps to her feet. “Right on it!” she stands and places her hand on Mel's shoulder “I just want to say thank you-” Mel waves her off. “I haven’t even read it yet. When can you give me a copy?”
Sometimes Laura wonders about how exactly she got here. Was it that first frozen day when she walked the streets searching for answers to the questions burning in her chest and found Carmilla huddled on the steps? Was it that similarly bitterly cold night when they first kissed? Was it that moment when she turned and saw LaFontaine trembling and gasping on the grimy floor of the subway? The moment she walked into the office and Harvey shook her hand?
Maybe it doesn’t matter.
It’s the first time she’s ever seen Carmilla in anything but jeans. Instead she’s wearing a dress they found at a thrift store and it hugs her in all the right places and laura can’t help but let her gaze linger on the way Carmilla’s hips swing when she moves. It’s a gloriously warm evening, the windows are thrown open and the noises of New York filter in over the top of the quiet music they have playing. Perry helped them clean and tidy the loft space properly and is now currently bustling around the worktop, pouring slightly less god awful champagne than usual and arranging chips in bowls.
“Well it’s not quite what we...I envisioned for your first open exhibition but it will have to do.” Perry dusts her hands off and slips the apron from round her waist smoothing the wrinkles out of her outfit. Carmilla sighs and runs her fingers through her hair, before adjusting the cloth covering her final pieces. She’s even kept them secret from Laura, they’ve been covered every evening when she’s got back from work and she’s been expressly forbidden from peeking.
There is a long slightly tense silence.
“I wish LaF was here.”Carmilla murmurs softly. Laura watches Perry’s shoulders tense a little as she turns to busy herself with plastic cups that are already filled. When she speaks her voice sounds tight and thick. “Me too. They would have loved this.They...they would have been proud of you.”
Carmilla takes a deep breath and Laura sees the tell tale signs of her resisting tears, the clenched jaw and hands, the slight tremble to the lower lip. She places a soothing hand on the small of her back and presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. “We’re all proud of you.”
A loud knock at the door makes them all jump. “Shit! It’s eight already?”
Carmilla dashes to the door and throws it open only to be met by a mixture of some familiar faces and a couple of strangers. “H-hello. I um. You better come in I guess?”
Laura has to bite her lip to resist giggling. She’s never seen Carmilla this flustered before. It was kind of adorable. Their friends arrive first, Danny sauntering in still in her work uniform and bearing some more snacks. Kirsch follows. Laura can’t help but notice he’s been looking a little thinner lately but tonight he seems bright and happy, the light is back in his eyes and she notices they only get brighter when they fall on Danny.
Next come the people from Life Support and Laura is shocked to see Gordon shuffle in nervously, trying to hide behind the others. He looks well fed and happy if a little anxious. She’s turning to slide her hand into Carmilla’s when a tap on the shoulder makes her look round. Gordon holds her gaze for a few seconds before he looks down rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly “I Just wanted to say...I read your article. And I’m sorry...for what I said. I was out of-”
Laura cuts him off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But I-” She rests her hand on his shoulder and he stops talking instantly seemingly shocked that she’s touching him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you read the article though.” He offers her a final small smile before he catches up to Pam.
Carmilla lets everyone mingle before she clears her throat loudly and her grip on Laura’s fingers tightens, bordering on painful. Laura has gotten better at reading her moods since she moved in and right now Carmilla is nervous. She strokes her thumb over the back of Carmilla’s hand trying to speak without words. You can do this. We’re all so proud.
“I’d just like to say thank you for coming tonight. I never thought I would be doing this, and it’s only from the support of my friends...my family that tonight is happening. Without them I would still be doing commissions just to keep my power on.” A soft chuckle ripples round the room and Laura presses a kiss to Carmilla’s bare arm. When she speaks again her voice is firmer, more confident. “The series of paintings I am about to show you is called “Positive.” I hope I've done my subjects justice.”
As she walks from painting to painting sliding off the sheets the room falls silent. When Laura’s eyes settle on the first one they well with tears. It’s Harvey. It’s a copy of a picture that Laura keeps on her desk. His head is thrown back and he’s laughing, a cocktail in hand, some of it spilling down his wrist. In stark letters on the left side of the painting it says Harvey Williams, b. 08/13/1964 - d.11/10/1987.
The next painting isn’t someone she knows. She’s pale, golden hair falling in curtains around a thin but peaceful face. She is breathtakingly beautiful ,brow furrowed as she reads the tattered book in her lap. A kind of inner light seems to glow around her. Ell Vidal b.02/24/1965 - d.05/18/1986. She’s so lost in the girl’s eyes that she jumps when Carmilla’s arm slides around her waist. “She was beautiful.” Carmilla says nothing but tightens her grip and Laura knows she doesn’t want to talk right now. Finally she lets her gaze wander to the last painting.
S.LaFontaine b. 05/12/1963 - d.03/19/1988. LaF is sitting on their favourite street corner, guitar in their lap, bow tie askew. Their eyes are crinkled in a smile. For a moment she swears she can feel LaFontaine’s presence in the room, that they are about to crack a joke or complain about the quality of the champagne.
She glances to her left. Perry is next to them now. She reaches out as if she wants to touch the painting but draws her hand back quickly. Carmilla looks at her, waiting for a response. “Perry...I…”
The look Perry gives her says everything.
Laura steps away to give them some privacy and finds herself standing with Gordon, sipping at a glass of now lukewarm champagne. “I wonder how long it will be til I’ll be joining them." His voice sounds dark and cold again and the brightness in his eyes has faded.
“I don’t know. No-one knows. But you know what LaF always said right?”
Gordon nods, his eyes on LaF’s portrait. “Tomorrow is tomorrow, worry about today.”
When Laura first arrived in New York she was always waiting for tomorrow, for the next big adventure. She takes in Carmilla’s shy smile as someone compliments one of her sketches, Perry still standing entranced in front of the painting of her soulmate, Kirsch and Danny talking quietly in the corner, seemingly oblivious to the rest of the room. She realises-her past, her present and future are all in one room. But for now, Laura thinks, as she meets Carmilla’s eyes across the room, she would take the present.