Chapter Text
Sangyeon doesn't often go to concerts. Like many things, concerts are well outside of his means. One time a group of teenagers were dancing on the street while playing BTS songs on a Bluetooth speaker. It was a nuisance seeing as Sangyeon was trying to get home after buying something for a solo dinner but that was the closest he had been to a concert in his life. This concert he's attending right now doesn't quite meet the expectations set by people buying scalped tickets at three times face value. The tuneless warbling and wailing really grates on Sangyeon's ears.
The velocity of whatever just hurtled into his face is another lowlight of the concert.
Spluttering paper and sand, Sangyeon sits up and winces at the bright sunlight in his eyes.
"Sorry," Hyunjun says when he comes to retrieve the ball. A streak of red has already developed across his nose and his cheeks but he looks mostly cheerful.
Sangyeon supposes that he can't really be mad about the fact that the kids were playing with the beach ball. He wonders if he reserves the right to change his opinion when it transpires that his son can't be counted amongst 'the kids' playing with the ball.
"Is it just you two?" Sangyeon says. A yawn bursts through as he speaks and he claps his hands on his cheeks in an attempt to rouse himself.
"I thought Eric must have told you he was leaving," Hyunjun says, idly rolling the beach ball beneath his hand. "He was gone when we got back."
"What?" Sangyeon asks, certainly much more awake now. He scrambles to his feet but looking around the beach just provides the indistinct population of people having tons of fun. Sangyeon can't see Eric anywhere nearby and the beach just keeps stretching on in almost every direction except where it is swallowed by the sea.
"So now that Australian guy is a problem?" Sunwoo huffs.
"This isn't the time," Sangyeon grumbles. He searches for his phone and finds it half-buried in the sand. Doing his best to sweep away the coarse sand grains, Sangyeon calls Eric. He calls and he calls and he gets ignored every time. "Can you try to call Eric?"
"No. He doesn't want to talk to us," Sunwoo says dourly. Sangyeon understands that completely. He doesn't much want to talk to this irritatingly grumpy kid either.
"Our calls got ignored too earlier," Hyunjun offers. He sounds much more diplomatic than Sunwoo but hearing that still grates on Sangyeon's nerves.
This isn't the first time this week that Eric has run away and been totally uncontactable, but Sangyeon isn't emotionally equipped to handle this even after the first time. He had also assumed that the headway they seem to have made before would have made Eric stop to think before exploiting Sangyeon's shoddy parenting. That's a stupid thought. For all Sangyeon knows, Eric did stop to think before deciding to run off anyway. Sangyeon was asleep through the whole thing so any claims at all are impossible to disprove.
"I think I just have to wait," Sangyeon says. The kids nearby don't say anything to that. There's no need for them to respond. What could they say about Sangyeon's defeat?
Sangyeon sits down and pretends he has no worries outside of the brightly coloured protection of the wind breakers.
The book is uninteresting and Sangyeon can't turn off the motor in his brain wondering where Eric could possibly be. Time drags on painfully slow. The weather is nice, but Sangyeon mostly just feels like he is being dragged over the glass-sharp molten sand.
Sangyeon must try his hardest to keep his mouth shut when Eric returns alone in the late afternoon. Sangyeon is hungry and irritated and his skin is sore with abrasions which might well be half-imagined. A small and petty consolation is the fact that Sangyeon knows he isn't the only one trying not to crack the delicate shards beneath his feet.
"Did you have fun with that Australian guy?" Sunwoo asks. If he is aiming for casual he has failed miserably. "You probably won't be able to see him again after today. If you need someone to talk to, you can come to me."
Eric isn't gracious about the offer and Sangyeon slows his pace. He is the one carrying all the tatt they hired for their beach day anyway. Walking slower than everyone else would only be natural seeing as they are laden with little more than their phones.
"Thank you for bringing us with you on this holiday, Mr Lee," Hyunjun says. He hangs back and takes one of the rolled windbreakers to carry.
"It's no trouble. I wanted Eric to spend some time with his friends. I hope you had fun."
Hyunjun shrugs, which isn't what someone should do if they're offering solace in Sangyeon's opinion. Young people must have their own reasons for their honesty. Sangyeon should be grateful for whatever he is given.
Seeing as young people have their own reasons for many things, Sangyeon keeps his irritations to himself. Dinner is a quiet affair if Sangyeon pretends not to hear Sunwoo asking Eric a million questions about how much fun he has had. Eric isn't particularly forthcoming with any responses but Sunwoo tries and tries. Hyunjun mostly just laughs along but he asks a few questions of his own.
Sangyeon is the only one not to ask any questions and that suits him just fine. He and Eric can have a fresh start when they get home. If necessary, Sangyeon will call Chanmi for advice until she blocks his number, but he doesn't need any advice right now. He doesn't have anything at all that he needs to know about where Eric has been all day and he doesn't need to tell Eric that the least he should do is tell Sangyeon if he is going anywhere. No need to talk at all.
Considering he has bitten his tongue all the way through everyone cleaning the remnants of the beach away, getting ready for dinner, the whole dinner, and even getting back to the room, Sangyeon thinks he has done a good job. Parenthood starts tomorrow. Or Tuesday might be too soon. Tomorrow will only be good for checking out and going home. Wednesday. Wednesday is a good time to start parenting properly.
Shut away in the ondol room of the suite, Sangyeon can't deny the fact that he doesn't believe himself. There is no way he will be able to do everything right from Wednesday or any other day.
The mood is cheery in the morning. The kids are all happy to go home, clearly. Again, after a whole night of pretending to be fine, Sangyeon keeps himself quiet during breakfast.
This was all for free. Sangyeon should be grateful for winning this holiday even if he didn't make the most of the opportunity. He won't be getting another chance like this and Eric will have to get used to a life without holidays until he leaves for university.
Though Sangyeon did all of his packing last night, he should have told the kids to at least attempt to be slightly more organised.
Keeping his mouth closed is more of a challenge now. Sangyeon keeps staring at a pile of clothes on the sofa while the kids all rush around looking for odd shoes and t-shirts. There is still time before they need to check out. They have twenty-four minutes. It's fine. Sangyeon doesn't need to ask whose clothes he is looking at for another five minutes.
Despite being sure that he can relax for a few minutes longer, Sangyeon needs to consciously stop grinding his teeth together. He has never seen anything like this. Ignoring the shambolic display is a lot to endure. Changing his tack, Sangyeon finds a happy place in his mind. Nothing at all to worry about and nothing at all could possibly go wrong.
Whether anything has been forgotten or not, Sangyeon herds the kids out of the Family XL suite for the end of the holiday. The suitcases are put in the boot of the car and that already feels like the end of the end of a story. Real life awaits and Sangyeon will be dropping Eric's friends off at their houses on the way there.
Leaving the kids in the car, Sangyeon goes inside the hotel to check out. He waits and hopes not to hear about anything left inside the room (because he's almost certain that the kids would want to try repacking suitcases to accommodate forgotten things). It's all clear after ten minutes; the resort staff are happy to announce that nothing was taken from the room. Relieved not to be charged for anything seeing as he is officially brassic, Sangyeon almost doesn't question the folded paper which is pressed into his palm. It is only the lingering weight of the gaze turned upon him which makes Sangyeon realise that this is not the usual way things go.
"What is this?" Sangyeon asks, not wanting to outright ask why he is being handed a torn scrap of notebook paper.
"A guest instructed us to pass this on to you when you checked out."
Already, Sangyeon's hopes have rocketed right through the ceiling in search of the stratosphere. No. He is being silly now. As evenly as he can, Sangyeon says, "I see."
Away from the front desk, Sangyeon unfolds the paper. He pinches his arm. The sharp twinge is definitely normal, so he must be awake. The neatly printed words on the paper stare, unchanging, up at Sangyeon.
'If you'd let me be your best friend again, you can call me. Just give me more than five minutes this time.'
When was it? Two days ago? Almost three, really. This is as unfair as it gets. Sangyeon could cry if not for the fact that he needs to go and start taking children home.
Pretending that he never stopped in the first place, Sangyeon folds up the paper and pushes it deep into his pocket. Later. He will look at it again later. If the words remain the same then, if the ink which wrote the phone number doesn't evaporate from the paper by the time he looks again, Sangyeon will think about making a call. For now, he shouldn't satisfy himself with fantasies removed from his reality.
The journey home isn't too long so Sangyeon thinks everything is fine. It is fine. He can be normal for now. There is nothing looming over his head at all as he drives across the bridge and makes his way through Incheon. The streets are pretty clear seeing as it is late morning. Most commutes have already been done so there is hardly any traffic at all.
Dropping Sunwoo and Hyunjun at their homes is easy. Unloading their suitcases is an equally easy task and Sangyeon decides he wouldn't mind if Eric liked these friends enough to invite them over even into the term time (unless the looming suneung makes that difficult).
The more important thing is to find out whether Eric will come to like Sangyeon enough. Only time will tell and the clock won't start until tomorrow.
Eric shuts himself in his room to unpack and Sangyeon decides he will sort out his own suitcase later. He orders lunch whilst contemplating the chore ahead of him. He doesn't get a clear answer from Eric so chicken and pizza are both on the menu. Both is always the better option. Whilst waiting for lunch to arrive, Sangyeon doesn't find any success when trying to distract himself from the note in his pocket.
After exhausting every other option to keep himself busy (aside from doing anything difficult or useful), there is only one thing Sangyeon can do. Sangyeon has no choice but to call the number. It is only now that Sangyeon is beginning to worry that it isn't Jaehyun at all, but Sangyeon is never going to find out if he's been duped if he never calls.
Sangyeon's palms are sweaty just by typing the number into his phone. His thumbs are somehow cramping just from the motion of tapping the buttons on his phone screen. He feels sick. Or something else. This could all go horribly wrong. It's too late now. The phone is ringing and Sangyeon holds it up to his ear as he waits.
"Hello?"
The voice sounds familiar, perfect. But it could also be confirmation bias, Sangyeon being so sure that he's calling Jaehyun that he thinks any similar voice is him.
"Is this… Lee Jaehyun?" Sangyeon asks, hoping that he remembered the surname properly.
"It is. Can I ask who is calling?"
"Sorry, of course, yes. It's Sangyeon."
Jaehyun laughs. Sangyeon might regret this.
"Is this real? The fact that you're calling me just feels like a dream."
"I… Yes. I'm calling you in real life. I thought you would have forgotten we met or something."
"As if," Jaehyun scoffs. "You wouldn't believe how long I was going to wait to see if you'd ever call me. I needed to believe the hotel receptionists wouldn't just throw away my note, and then I needed to believe that you would want to call me."
Jaehyun always says the right things. If Sangyeon was committed to cynicism, he'd suspect Jaehyun knows what to say on purpose. Fortunately for all the hopes he pinned up onto this phone call, Sangyeon is relieved that this is the way Jaehyun is speaking to him. Like this, Sangyeon can believe Jaehyun is the same. Like this, he can believe Jaehyun says the right thing because he always knows better than Sangyeon. Like this, they're still the same people who met at the resort.
"I shouldn't have called you. Don't you think it was mean not to let me know that you were leaving? I went to your room to talk to you and frightened some poor woman."
Jaehyun groans on the other side of the phone. The illusion is potent and Sangyeon is almost certain that they're the same as before. He can picture Jaehyun with his palm pressed to his forehead. By now he would be looking at Sangyeon with eyes which hope for a smile. After only knowing each other for a few days, the most awful thing is how Sangyeon feels that he knows all there is to know about Jaehyun. Dangerous as the illusion is, Sangyeon wants it all.
"I will admit that I should have said something," Jaehyun says, "but the timing was never right. Your son needed you."
Sangyeon hums. That's fair. They had so much time just for the two of them though. "What were we doing before that meant you couldn't tell me anything?"
The door knocks. Sangyeon goes to collect his lunch whilst Jaehyun says, "I didn't want to say goodbye to you."
Sangyeon can't help the burst of embarrassed laughter which surprises the delivery rider. A quick apology and a closed door later, Sangyeon is technically sort of alone with Jaehyun.
"You could have just said 'see you later', you know."
"I guess that's true."
"If you'd said that, when would later have been?" Sangyeon asks. He isn't normally the type to push his luck like this but Jaehyun is an exception. He takes the delivered food into the kitchen and holds his breath for words he secretly wants to hear.
"Now."
"Now? Really?"
"Yes. Well, I'm at work—"
"Oh. Right. Of course. We were just speaking hypothetically."
"No," Jaehyun says more firmly than before, "I mean it literally. I won't be able to see you for the full hour of my lunch break right now, but even if I could just see you for a little while—"
"I'll come to you," Sangyeon says. He has no interest in the question about whether he's sure about the offer. Sangyeon is more certain about this than anything else. "Give me your work address and I will go to wherever you are. I'd like to see you for as much of your break as possible."
"Okay. Okay, great. Are you serious right now? If you're just joking I think I might cry and then everyone in my office will hate me even more than they already do."
Something bursts in Sangyeon's chest. The swelling relief that follows makes even the tips of his fingers and toes feel lighter. "I'm not joking. I'll really come to see you right now."
Jaehyun laughs for a while and Sangyeon is somewhat proud that someone is lost for words because of him. The only reason they have to end their call is so that Sangyeon can be responsible and at least check on Eric before he leaves.
While Sangyeon waits for a response to his knock on the door, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. That must be the address. Sangyeon won't look until he's in the car because he isn't going to be able to make his face look normal otherwise.
Eric is lying on his bed with his feet propped up on a cuddly unicorn which has seen far better years. He has his ear phones in and, after looking at Sangyeon wordlessly, he pulls one bud out of his ear. The music is audible in an indistinct, tinny form even from this distance.
"I'm just popping out for an hour or so to see a friend, if that's okay. Lunch is here. It's in the kitchen. Will you be alright on your own?"
Slowly, Eric looks away from Sangyeon and replaces his earphone. After a moment, he mutters, "You don't have any friends."
"I do have friends. I have loads," Sangyeon retorts on reflex. Eric simply rolls his eyes. Sangyeon sheepishly repeats what he said about lunch before retreating from Eric's doorway.
No matter how many friends Sangyeon actually does have, this one is different. Jaehyun is a best friend he's never had before. Sangyeon can't quite remember everything Jaehyun said on the rooftop to explain why he doesn't like goodbyes. Many, many five minute bundles of time have passed since that moment.
The drive to Jaehyun's office takes an uncomfortable amount of five minute intervals too. Sangyeon is mostly shocked that he is this patient as the lunchtime traffic clogs up the roads a lot more than the journey home this morning. He's nervous, despite everything. Sangyeon is desperate to arrive and apprehensive about what seeing Jaehyun again will be like. Alone in his car, Sangyeon has too much to think about. At least his phone supplies directions in an emotionless voice. That's one thing Sangyeon doesn't need to think so much about.
Sangyeon parks a little way down the street from Jaehyun's office. After locking his car, he knows better than to wait too much longer. He calls Jaehyun.
"I'm just outside."
"Don't move!"
Jaehyun hangs up right after shouting his instruction. Awkwardly, Sangyeon loiters on the pavement. The building where Jaehyun works is the sort of glittering skyscraper that makes the surroundings look scruffy. There are a lot of those about. Sangyeon looks down at his clothes. They look scruffy too. Oh dear. He really should have put some thought into how he looked before getting into his car. Ah. And there's Jaehyun, running with such clumsy movements and flailing limbs. The fact that he isn't a natural-born runner doesn't matter because he looks very fancy and smart in his silver suit. He is the furthest thing from scruffy. Sangyeon can't be too disappointed about getting to admire just how good Jaehyun looks when he's not on holiday.
Breathless, yet without a single hair out of place, Jaehyun grasps Sangyeon's arms and grins. "You really came here. You really came to see me."
"I told you I was coming," Sangyeon says, oddly feeling like he misunderstood a joke.
Jaehyun laughs and nods. His face is growing pinker by the second despite the fact he has had time to recover from his rush down from his office. "You're really here, Sangyeon."
"I am," Sangyeon agrees blandly. Considering he now needs to count the people giving him funny looks on more fingers than he has on his body, now seems like a good time to relocate. "How long do you have left of your lunch break?"
Jaehyun takes the hint as Sangyeon pulls one of his arms free to start walking. Sangyeon doesn't have the heart to free off the arm that Jaehyun is still clinging to. When else would this ever happen? No, Sangyeon doesn't want to think like that because he wants something like this all the time.
"I have an hour," Jaehyun says. "I waited right until you got here before I clocked out."
"Oh. Good."
Jaehyun leans more heavily against Sangyeon’s side. "Let me treat you to lunch. I know I'm pushing my luck here but give me just this hour to pretend to be the kind of friend who is allowed to take you on a date."
Sangyeon doesn't have any friends like that, not unless he includes Jaehyun in the count. He will wait until the hour is up before he says that he really does want them to be the sort of friends who go on dates. For now he just smiles and watches the giddiness deepen on Jaehyun's face.