Chapter Text
Hanging out with Sunny became a regular occurrence. I would spend the morning with Toriel talking about various things. She confided that she had always wanted to be a teacher, so I let her teach me about the Underground and anything else she wanted to. Then, I would go out and explore with Sunny. It was a really good guide so I didn’t get lost again. I found lots of little random things scattered around, including a faded red ribbon. I’ve kept my hair at shoulder length as long as I could remember, but sometimes I just needed to pull it back. I didn’t really wear ribbons, but I used it to tie up my hair sometimes when it got in the way.
I also found a little toy knife. It was made of plastic and was very blunt, but it still gave me unpleasant tingles. However, Sunny took a liking to it and took it along. It said the knife helped it feel braver and I just smiled for lack of a better response. In truth, it made me uncomfortable. I’ve been keeping myself distant from any potentially dangerous objects for good measure. I figured as long as weapons didn’t end up in my hands, I wouldn’t be able to use them.
On one of the days, I decided to go back to the spiders again for more donuts and a bottle of their cider. I had wandered really far off into the Ruins today and found another place from my memories. It was a shining blue room with a pedestal in the center with mounds of candy atop it. There was a sign saying to take only one, so Sunny and I both did just that. I was tempted to snag another piece, but I felt a little disgusted with myself for trying to grab another, like I was the scum of the earth. Since my sweet tooth wasn’t satiated, I wanted to stop off at the bake sale on the way back to Toriel’s home.
There was a bridge that I had to cross to get back over to that side of the ruins. It was a lovely thing, covered in crimson leaves that were velvet to the touch. Normally, the area tended to be pretty deserted, but on that particular day, there was a white figure laying down atop the bridge. At first, I thought it was just a sheet and nearly stepped on it. The sheet suddenly let out a rumbling noise and I jumped back in surprise. Sunny shrieked and hid behind me. I crept back over to the sheet and noticed that it had eyes and a mouth. I didn’t actually think ghosts would look like a white sheet with a faced, but that was exactly what this creature was. How peculiar.
They let out another rumbling noise and I realized it must be sleeping because their eyes were closed. They also took up the entire bridge and I didn’t want to accidentally give it a rude awakening. Sunny peeked from around me to get a better look at what stopped us and chirped, “That’s Napstablook! They come down here sometimes to loaf around. They just cry and moan all the time and has no sense of humor.”
Napstablook started to moan and I turned my attention back to them. I caught them with one of their eyes opened just a sliver. They started, eye squeezing shut again. I narrowed my eyes at them, leaning over.
“Hey, you’re not really asleep, are you?” I watched as Napstablook slowly opened both its eyes and slither backwards.
“Ooooohhhh…oh no. You found me out. Oohh…” Napstablook started to cry as I watched awkwardly.
“Er, it’s fine though. I didn’t mind,” I said, but Napstablook didn’t seem to hear me.
They just kept moaning and crying. “Oohhhh is that what people say about me? I don’t blame them. I wish I wasn’t here…” Their tears were flying all over the place and I gingerly dodged. I didn’t know about them, but when other monsters in the underground used magic, and Toriel had warned me that anything monsters emitted, from breaths to tears, could be painful to the touch because of its magical properties. I had an unfortunate run in with a couple of agitated Moldsmals and got a few bruises from pellets they fired. Luckily, none of Napstablook’s tears hit me but I still wanted to make them stop.
I remembered how Toriel really enjoyed telling jokes and terrible puns and had a whole book of them. I blurted out the first one that came to my mind. “Why did the snail cross the road?”
Napstablook’s tears calmed a little when he heard my joke and just moaned, “I don’t know.”
“I don’t either, but I’ll let you know once it gets over there.” I delivered the punchline and could practically hear the rim shot. It was one of the worst jokes and I was a little ashamed of telling it, but Napstablook’s mouth turned up a little bit.
“Ahah. Heh. That was pretty good,” they said. I deadpanned a little. They really did have a lousy sense of humor.
“Er, today I took my snail buddy home with me. She looked at my house and told me, ‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to have to carry this on my back.’”
Napstablook smiled at me and gave a small laugh. “Haha. Let me show you something…”
They started to cry again and I was worried that I made them feel worse, but instead of flying outwards, the tears accumulated above their head, forming a shape of a top hat. Admittedly, it was a pretty cool trick.
“What do you think?” Napstablook lifted their head a little. “I call this...Dapperblook.”
It was Sunny who piped up, “T-That’s cool!”
Napstablook swished around in a small, muted dance before letting the hat fall. They said, “Ahhh, thanks for talking to me. And telling me I’m cool. No one ever calls me that. Oohhh…” They started to float away. “Bye…”
With that, Napstablook was gone. I gave myself a few moments to absorb that strange encounter. Sunny flittered around me. “Wow, they were cooler than I thought. Eldest sibling and third youngest sibling were wrong about them!”
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed that.” Napstablook seemed nice enough, but I felt drained by their presence, like I was losing all will to be positive and productive. My encounter with Napstablook was pushed to the corner of my mind, however, once I reached the bake sale. I returned to Toriel’s house with my arms chock full of donuts and cider. She chided me a little for ruining my appetite and I had the decency to be a little ashamed.
A week in the Underground came and went without any significant happenings. Nearing the end of the second week, I was sitting in the living room reading again while Toriel cooked. However, I had been reading the same sentence over and over again for the past few minutes. My mind was preoccupied with renewed worry about my parents and about my fate. Finally, I sighed and closed the book and set it down on the armchair. I padded over to the kitchen door and called, “Hey Toriel?”
She glanced at me over her shoulder with a warm smile. “Yes, dear?”
I licked my lips. “So I’ve seen all of the Ruins.”
“Ah yes. Your little friend – Sunny right?” I nodded to her question and she continued, “It showed you around? Did you get to see a lot?”
“Yeah, I did.” I walked into the kitchen. Toriel was cutting up some vegetables to make a pot pie. She really liked making pies. “But now I’ve seen all of it. But,” I took a short breath. “I couldn’t find an exit. And I was wondering…”
I started to fidget, realizing that Toriel had stopped cutting. I continued, “Can I really not leave? I mean, my parents are probably worried by now. And-”
“Deary, can you pass me the carrots?” Toriel interrupted me and I closed my mouth. Quietly, I picked up the carrots before trying to speak again.
“I mean, I’m getting worried too, and I can’t really stay her-”
“But why not?” Toriel interrupted again and I pursed my lips. “Do you not like your room? Is it my food? Do you need more money for the bake sale? I can fix anything if you ask me.”
“No, no, your food is great. The room is really nice and I have more donuts than I know what to do with. That’s not the point, I-”
“Why don’t you go read another book in my living room? Surely you haven’t exhausted my collection yet.”
I let out a hiss in a voice that I didn’t quite recognize. “I’m not backing down this time.”
An unsettling silence fell over the kitchen. Toriel set down her knife and wiped her hands on her apron.
“I seem to have forgotten something. Hold on, I’ll be back. Stay here.” Toriel said abruptly, a hard edge in her tone. She brushed past me at a brisk pace and I felt irritation bubbling within me as I whipped around and started following her.
“Wait, Tori-”
“I said,” Toriel spun around, eyes flashing harshly, “Stay. Here.”
I reeled indignantly but remained still as she disappeared into the foyer. I heard sounds of footsteps descending stairs. Red was creeping into the edges of my vision and I didn’t realize that my feet were carrying me after Toriel.
I found myself inside a long purple corridor at the base of the stairs. There was nothing in the corridor, save the occasion light. There were no renovations down here. I realized that Toriel had tricked me and this must have been the exit to the Ruins. Where else to hide the exit than where I began every day?
I burst out into a run, my feet echoing thunderously in the hall. Fear, exhilaration, anger, and betrayal rumbled in my mind. My arms and feet felt heavy, the world pressing down on me. I eventually came to the end of the corridor and saw Toriel at the end with her back to me. Before her was a great door with the same emblem that was on her robes. I slowed to a walk before stopping completely a few paces from her.
“This is the exit to the Ruins.” Toriel’s voice boomed in the large room. “I don’t believe I ever told you, but I am the caretaker of the Ruins. That means that no one enters or exits without me knowing. And now, no one will be able to, because I am destroying this door.”
“What?” I squawked, taking a step forward. “You can’t do that!”
“And why not? So I can let you go and rush to your death at Asgore’s hands? The Underground beyond these doors is not a safe place for humans. You are much better off here. You’ll be happy! Am I not enough?” Desperation crept into her voice and she turned around. She looked distressed, but as her eyes fell onto me, her pleading look melded into one of caution. “What are you doing with that knife?”
I suddenly became aware of a weight clutched in my right hand and my eyes drifted downwards. The kitchen knife glinted in the dim lighting of the room and all I could do was stare dumbfounded at the weapon. I wasn’t even of aware of when I had picked it up, but before I could ponder more, my arm raised and pointed the knife straight at Toriel.
Her mouth was ajar with shock as she asked, “Are you really like the rest of them?” When I offered no reply, her eyes hardened. “Very well. Prove to me that you can handle yourself out there. But if you cannot…” She took a step forward, “You shall never leave these Ruins.”
Flames burst forth from Toriel’s hands, but I stood my ground. Fireballs danced all around, filling the air with sweltering heat. I took a step forward and a fireball soared straight for me. I side-stepped it and another shot forward. I weaved through the assault of flames, getting a step closer with each movement. I was faintly aware of the other thing’s presence as I twirled between fireballs, compelling me closer to Toriel. It was like a stranger in my body. My grip on the knife involuntarily tightened. Between tongues of flame, I see glimpses of Toriel’s cold glare and I hesitated slightly when the same image from my memory flashed through my mind.
A fireball caught me on my arm and I yelped. But a moment later, the pain disappeared and my mind went blank. By the time I realized what was happening again, my body was no longer in my control. This time, instead of dancing, I fought. Fireballs were deflected by my blade and I advanced towards Toriel. She kept firing attack after attack at me to no avail. A few flames grazed me, but they felt ice cold compared to the first hit.
I continued to make my way towards Toriel. The attacks got more intense and frequent, but not a single one managed to hit me. When I was within range of Toriel, she erected a wall of flame between us and I lost sight of her. When the fire dissipated, she was a distance away. The hard stony expression was still on her face as she spoke. “Turn around. Go back to your room.”
“Oh but Toriel, it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. Don’t you want to cherish this moment?” I said with the stranger’s voice from before.
Toriel’s eyes widened and she faltered from her glare. During her hesitation, I shot forward, knife ready. Toriel caught herself in time to make another wall of flame and I ran to the side to go around it. She was ready with more flames, but again, none of them hit me. Suddenly, the flames started to converge around me and I found myself wrapped up in a vortex. There was no feasible exit and the flames started to close in on me. Innate instinct awoke inside me and I started to panic, but the stranger’s voice sounded within me.
She won’t hurt you. The old bat is too weak to kill you. You have nothing to fear from her. Walk forward.
I took one step, two steps towards the flames. With the third step, the fire started to falter. The vortex parted as I continued until I was out of the flames. I met Toriel’s gaze, which was full of resignation. The flames tapered and fizzled out as I walked forward, armed hand swinging back and forth.
I stopped just short of Toriel, looking up at her. She let her hands drop to her side and bowed her head. “I can’t do it. I don’t even know what to say anymore.” She gave me a melancholic smile. “Did you hate me this much?”
“Goodbye, Toriel,” the stranger said, bringing the knife up.
As the knife came down, I saw flashes of Toriel’s face in my mind with the same resigned smile. “I understand now,” she said. “I know I can’t keep you here. It’s funny, how I couldn’t even save one human ch-”
And then I stabbed her. Utter astonishment melted into anguished betrayal as she crumpled around the knife protruding from her chest. She fell to her knees, breathing heavily. She let out a single breathless laugh, and then another, before she was laughing uncontrollably. “Ahaha. HAHAHA. You. You…” She looked up, crazed smile on her face. “All this time. I thought I was protecting you from them. But in reality…” She collapsed onto her side, laughing weakly as she locked eyes with me. “I was protecting them from you.”
I saw Toriel’s eyes flash fear for a split second and the knife jolted to a stop inches away from her. I gritted my teeth and wrestled for control back.
What’s wrong? The stranger asked. Why did you stop? Don’t you want to get out? She’s in your way. She’s just another obstacle to get rid of.
I ignored them, pulling the knife back towards me.
Kill her.
I grinded my teeth and continued to fight against them.
KILL HER.
With a strangled cry, I swung the knife right across my arm, ripping open a large gash along the length of it. The stranger’s voice dissolved and excruciating pain swept through my body. The knife fell from my hands and I would have fallen if Toriel hadn’t caught me. My ears were ringing too loudly to hear what she was saying to me and I could only whimper in response. She lowered me gently to the ground and gingerly held my injured limb up.
In my daze, it took me a while to realize that the pain was slowly ebbing away. Through blurry vision, I saw a green glow enveloping my arm. Toriel was healing me. I just tried to kill her and she was healing me.
Numbness settled in my veins and I tiredly looked up at Toriel. Her eyes were only full of unadulterated concern, without a single trace of anger, fear, or betrayal. I breathed a soft sigh of relief, murmuring, “I’m sorry.”
“What was that, Frisk?” She ran a hand through my hair and I pressed into her touch. “Who was that?” There was a knowing look in her eyes and I grasped desperately at it.
“Do you know who that is?” I cried, “Why are they doing this? Why do I want to kill all the time?”
Toriel regarded me sadly. “I don’t know.”
“You’re lying,” I whimpered, “I know you are. Why won’t you tell me?”
Toriel gave no answer, letting the heavy silence fall. At this point, I knew I would never get anything out of her. Eventually, I mumbled, “I can’t stay here.”
“…I know.” She stroked my hair again. “I understand.”
“I need to leave this place. I need to get out of the Underground. I can’t stay here.” I sank deeper into her arms, eyes slowly drifting close. I was feeling so sleepy, but I was afraid of relinquishing control back to the stranger in my head. The last sensation I felt was a tight embrace before I fell asleep, safely tucked away in Toriel’s arms.
I awoke to warm blankets and the smell of butterscotch and cinnamon again. I took my time getting out of bed before making my way to the kitchen. I walked slowly, afraid to face Toriel but also trying to come to terms with what happened.
However, Toriel was nowhere in sight. Instead, I found two slices of butterscotch pie and a note written in neat handwriting.
Dear Frisk,
I hope you slept well. I went out and got a few more ingredients to make another pie. Cinnamon is a little pricey right now, but I figured you would appreciate a couple more slices of pie before you head out. Please take them with you. Feel free to take anything from your room as well. The land right outside the exit to the Ruins is covered in snow. I know that sweater of yours is a little thin so make sure you bundle up!
I’ll be away for most of the day. I’m fine though, so don’t worry too much. Take care of yourself and good luck. Thank you for keeping me company for the past week. Remember what I taught you and trust in yourself to do good. I believe in you.
Love,
Toriel
My lips trembled and I wiped away little tears that sprung from my eyes. I folded the note up and tucked it away in my pocket. I wrapped the pie up and put it away in the backpack I’ve been using. I put on another sweater and a scarf I found in the wardrobe. As I turned off the light in my room, I turned around and gazed at it for a moment longer. Then I closed the door behind me with a soft click and made my way to the foyer.
There was one last thing I wanted to do. I trekked through the Ruins to Sunny’s place. It greeted me excitedly.
“You’re early today! Woah, you’re dressed more than usual. What’s going on?” It appraised my winter wear and I smiled a little.
“I’m going out. I’m leaving the Ruins today. I came to say good bye.”
Sunny fell silent. Its wings slowed down and it drooped. “Y-You’re leaving? Going out of the Ruins?”
“Yeah.” I shuffled my feet. I haven’t made a friend in so long and hadn’t expected the farewells to be…hard. “It’s time. I’ve been here for a while, but I need to go now.”
Then it started to cry. I watched helplessly as my friend shed tear after tear. “B-But! We just met! I was finally having fun and breaking o-out of my sh-shell a-and…” Sunny wailed louder and I was at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry. I wish there was some way that you can come with m-”
I paused, an idea sparking. “Wait! That’s it! Sunny!”
It looked at me, trying to put a brave face as I continued. “Do you want to join me? I know you are comfortable here and have a family, but didn’t you say you wanted to go explore outside the Ruins? See more of the Underground? I could use a travel companion.” Part of me was telling me this was a bad idea and that I was liable to go on a rampage again. Sunny would be in danger at that point. But some part of me wanted to cling onto this nice feeling of companionship.
Sunny looked like it was taking the idea into consideration. It sniffled, wiping away more tears. “Really? Y-You would take me along?”
“Yeah, I would.” I breathed. “Would you like to come? Join me on this adventure?”
“I-I…” Sunny started to flitter faster. “You really think I can do it? That I can go out?”
I grinned, feeling more animated by the second. “Yeah. Yeah I do. What do you say? Let’s go see what the Underground has to show us?”
“Yeah…yeah. Yeah! YEAH! L-Let’s go! On an adventure! Through the Underground!” It quivered with excitement, smiling brightly. “Wait here! I’m going to just grab a few things.”
It flew away at top speed and I only managed to yell at it to bring some of its knitted articles of clothing along before it was out of sight. Sunny wasn’t gone long and within minutes, we were heading back to Toriel’s house. I was hoping that Toriel had returned, but the house was empty. I pulled out my cellphone, tempted to call her. But she left without seeing me and I figured she needed time alone. I slowly put my phone back in my pocket before descending the stairs.
I walked in silence down the corridor, listening to the sound of my footsteps and Sunny’s beating wings. When I stood back before the door, I took a deep breath. “Ready?”
Sunny nodded nervously, flittering around behind me. I walked forward, pushing heavily against the large doors. They creaked open and I found myself peering into another dark cavern with an opening at the opposite end. A cold breeze blew through but instead of shivering, I breathed in an excited breath. This was it. This was the exit.
I took a step forward, and another. It became colder with each step and I could see snow carpeting the cavern exit.
A faint giggle echoed in my mind. However, I squared my shoulder and walked straight out of the cavern. I didn’t look back and kept going forward, one step at a time.