Chapter Text
When the adrenaline of the moment seems to wear off, and Ranpo can think straight again, he breaks the silence.
"Dazai, sleep in my house tonight. You can go tomorrow."
The younger one stifles a laugh at Ranpo's sudden overprotective behavior. There's something fun in seeing him act so worried when normally he's the most laid-back one.
Until he looks back at him again, and is welcomed by a serious expression. It's not like he would ever deny such an offer anyways, but he feels obliged to accept.
it's your fault he's like this he reminds himself, and nods slowly, a quiet "okay then" coming out his mouth.
Dazai has been in his house various times, though never to sleep. When work didn't have them risking their lives and/or sleep schedules, it was normal to see them hang out together. Watching crime movies and competing over who would find the culprit first, playing Mario Kart…
This time it feels different. There's a tension filling every corner of the house while they arrive, a suffocating silence between them. Too many words wanting to be said aloud, making their usual quiet communication not quite enough.
“Here.” Ranpo's voice comes out more angry than intended after they reach his bedroom. He hands the other a pajama, not even stopping to look at him before searching for his own in the closet.
Luckily, the detective has an obsession with wearing clothes three times his size, so it's still big enough for Dazai. That's not the problem, though. The younger one comes to a conclusion while he gets out of the bathroom.
We need to talk about it. The single thought makes him gulp.
Walking through the hall, he finds Ranpo in the living room, scattered across his huge couch while he turns on the TV. He's wearing a pastel pajama with little dinosaurs on it, making the other unconsciously smile at the sight.
“Not gonna sleep now?” Dazai joins him, sitting at his side with a cautious distance between them.
“I don't want to.” He responds as he lazily changes the channels. “You can go if you want to.”
He finally looks back at him, and Dazai finds again all sorts of feelings he hates seeing in such beautiful green eyes. So he does what he's best at: Joking about it.
“Aww, is Ranpo still mad at me?” He exaggerates sadness, a hand clenching his chest. “Even though I apologized so nicely…”
“Shut up!” He immediately barks back at him, pushing back the now dramatic Dazai that lays on him as if faiting. But the other has already gained distance between them, and Ranpo doesn't complain.
It still takes some seconds for him to answer his questions, sighing before as if trying to calm his emotions.
“I'm not angry, I'm just… Annoyed, and frustrated at you.” He pouts, looking the other way with an expression that is a perfect mix of childish and serious.
A small laugh is what makes him turn again, and is welcomed by a pair of eyes that try to hide sadness behind playfulness.
“Yet you invite me to sleep over. I thought Ranpo was the kind of person whose actions reflect their thoughts.”
As always, he lets out a seemingly simple phrase with a different meaning underneath. I'm a bother, yet you still don't push me away. Why?
But the detective doesn't doubt when he speaks.
“I am, that's why I invited you.”
Seeing Dazai genuinely surprised is as rare as finding a four leaf clover.
Just as it was to see Ranpo visibly worried. Still, only them can get those reactions out of each other.
Only they are able to bring the other to their limit, to search and search for their deepest parts without giving up before.
“You still don't get it? You're here with me because I want you to, don't give yourself credit for that.” The younger's shock only gets worse when Ranpo keeps talking, honest words pouring out from his heart.
“And to make sure you don't have any stupid idea again.” He lightens the mood with a half joke. “So yeah, even if you annoy us with your self-sacrificial tendencies, you're not getting away from us anytime soon.”
Something finally clicks inside Dazai. All of Ranpo's words finally fit, like the biggest puzzle he has faced in his life turns now into a single image.
And in the center of it, Ranpo is greeting him with open arms. Atsushi too, and Kyoka, and everyone else in the Agency.
They are telling him "we are here", and for the first time he feels like he really listens to them. Like he really understands everything.
No matter how much he pulls away from them, no one in the Agency is willing to let him go. No matter how much he intends to make them all forget him, hate him, their kindness is infinite.
And no matter how much he tries to be superficial, Ranpo is never going to let him. He will never stop pulling towards him. Just as Dazai won't stop letting him do so, consciously or not.
There's a long silence between them. It's not tense anymore, it's finally calming and both seem to be able to breathe a bit better now. Ranpo has gotten into a more relaxed position now, hand resting at the end of the couch near Dazai's.
“I meant what I did back there, you know.”
Oh, Ranpo immediately knows what Dazai is referring to, the still unspoken moment between them. The kiss.
Some more seconds of quiet understandment. Neither of them know who started the movement, but suddenly their pinkies are touching each other again, and their friction feels a bit more warm than before.
Even the sound of the TV in the background drowns out as everything Dazai can concentrate on is Ranpo's answer. What he responds will define their relationship from now on.
That scares him, it does. It was an action born from desperation, almost an instinct. For the first time, the former mafioso did something without thinking about the consequences.
But should he really feel doubtful after everything the other has told him? He figures it doesn't make sense to do so anymore.
“I know, dummy.”