Chapter Text
After their initial meeting, Clarke wasn't so sure how to feel about Bellamy. Well ,she knew how her body felt- flushed and excited- but Clarke couldn't decide whether he was someone she was going to love or hate. After attending a ball hosted by her mother's hospital, she came home and got undressed. She couldn't get the irritatingly gorgeous smirk of Bellamy's out of her head. He kept popping up in her brain. But that wasn't all, it was him, his personality, his charm, everything. She wasn't good at making friends, and although they got off to a bit of a rocky start, Clarke truly believed that they could have one of those love/ hate relationships she heard about. She had her friendship group, Wells, Raven, Monty, Jasper and even Maya, but they were all pure friendship, she didn't have anyone that she could just rip into and then have banter with after. It sounded therapeutic. With that thought in mind she went to bed, hoping for another sunny day, and for some social skills to shine upon her.
...
Unfortunately, it was raining and cloudy. Trying to ignore her budding disappointment she planned to paint , rain always calmed her, even if it was irritating. She'd been painting for a few hours, trying to forget her hot neighbour and the fact that it was her last day of freedom before school, when she (surprisingly) heard a knock on the door, somehow through the loud music. Her dad hadn't rung planning anything, and her mother was at work. Her friends wouldn't knock. She was confused as she ran to the door, but excited once she opened it.
"Bellamy? Hey whatcha doing here?", she was surprised at her calm approach when inside she was jumping for joy.
"Is your Mum in? Sorry it's just that my sister was climbing our tree, and obviously it's raining, but she didn't think it would be a problem, but then it was, so she slipped, and she fell off, and it wasn't from that high up, but I'm worried she's broken her leg or something." He seemed to speak five times as fast as the chilled out guy she met yesterday, but she found it endearing. He obviously cared.
"She's at work, but I can take a look. I'm not a qualified doctor, obviously, but I know the basics. If it seems bad we can take her to the hospital, but if not I'll send my Mum over after work to double check?"
Bellamy seemed relieved. "Yes. Thank you, thank you. That's brilliant."
Clarke grabbed her hoodie from the hooks and slipped some shoes on. They went quickly to his house, making small talk, but she could sense his nerves.
As they walked through the living room to where Bellamy said his sister would be she was expecting to see a child, maybe eleven maximum considering the way Bellamy talked about her, but she saw a girl who looked to be her age.
"Bell seriously I'm fine, it doesn't hurt that badly" Octavia stated stubbornly.
Clarke couldn't hold in her laughter. "Bellamy, I thought she was going to be, well, young. She's my age."
"She's fifteen, that is young. Too young for..." Clarke didn't have a clue what Bellamy was going to say, but he promptly shut up once he saw the death glare on Octavia's face.
Clarke wandered over to the beautiful girl, and awkwardly sat down. "Hey. I'm Clarke, your neighbour. Um, my Mum's at work, but I said I'd take a look at your leg? Is that ok?" she tentatively smiled at Octavia.
"Sorry, this is a waste of your time. I'm fine, it's just bruised, this dork is just overprotective, and old for his years. But would you mind, just to calm my dearest brother down?" Clarke only smiled and then examined her leg. It seemed painful, and tender, but definitely not broken. At worse it is a sprain, but most likely just very badly bruised. Try not to over exert yourself until my Mum gets back, and put ice on your leg.
Octavia smiled and thanked her, saying they should hang out sometime, before telling them that she was going to rest in her room. Bellamy rolled his eyes, but Clarke saw the relief in them.
"I genuinely believed she was going to be like five, and she turned out to be fifteen, that was a bit of a shocker." Clarke laughed as Bellamy sat next to her.
Bellamy explained he was so protective because he basically raised her. Bellamy's father ditched them, Octavia's father died, and his mother raised them as a single mother. Bellamy had to take a lot of the pressure. He was eighteen, a year older than Clarke and in his final year of school.
After sharing everything he looked a bit embarrassed, and Clarke gathered he wasn't usually such an open book, but she felt flattered that he had shared so immediately. He said as much a few minutes later. "I can't believe I just told you all of that, I'm pretty sure some of my friends think I was born at the age of eighteen, exactly like this, exactly how they know me. But it all came flowing out with you."
Clarke contained her blush and just smiled, before telling him her past. She was seventeen, and her parents were in the middle of a divorce. She lived with her mum and didn't see her dad as much as she would have liked too. "I was always a daddy's girl, he taught me everything, and introduced me to my greatest love of all time, 'The Beatles'", although she laughed through it and made jokes she was pretty sure her pain was showing through. Her Mum had a boyfriend already, and although he seemed nice, she didn't want to know him, or hear about him. That was part of her mum's life, not her's.
Bellamy gently placed his hand over hers before demanding that they were going to watch the Lion King. Clarke smiled and felt relief. As the film was on they'd make the occasional comment ("Noooo Mufasa", "why is Scar even in this? No Clarke I don't care that he is a vital yet horrible part of the story, I just want to see them be happy", "I'm basically Pumba"), but mostly it was comfortable silence. And it really was, comfortable, almost as if she was with Wells or Raven.
...
After that watching movies was more common, especially after the Blakes were introduced to her friends. Bellamy might have been a year older, and Octavia might have been a couple of years younger than Clarke's friends, but they managed to spend lots of time together, even at school. Sure the Blakes made other friends, Bellamy was in the football team thus becoming best friends with Miller and Murphy, and Octavia became best friends with Harper and Monroe through creative writing, but it just extended the group further. Clarke thought it would annoy her, but it really just made her feel more comfortable with them.
Basically every night for almost a year Clarke and Bellamy would hang out. Octavia sometimes joined, but not always. Clarke would cook whilst Bellamy would test her on her Spanish verbs. They'd watch a movie whilst revising. The convenient truth was that being neighbours meant they could be together a lot of the time, which neither of them were complaining about. It felt nice, it felt romantic, loving. Clarke was terrified.
...
(Bellamy's POV)
It didn't take long for him to fall for her. It wasn't just her looks, or her strikingly similar interests to me, it was everything. The way she came alive when she talked about art, or how she tried not to cry at a picture of a puppy, or her unbreakable love of romcoms. She was who she was, and there was nothing Bellamy didn't love about her.
It was a Friday night when it happened. They'd all been invited to a party round Anya's house. She was a popular girl in Clarke's year, who was admittedly hot, yet terrifying. He didn't like her, simple as, but the whole group was going to go. As he was about to leave when he saw Clarke's light flash on. Being a big fan of Taylor Swift, he thought Clarke would enjoy him writing her a message on paper and holding it up. "Are you ready?" She laughed before calling him and explaining that she wasn't going. She was tired, and had loads of work to do.
Bellamy felt like crying. The only reaosn he was going was to hang out with Clarke, he didn't even like Anya. He made his mind up and messaged Miller before heading over to Clarke's. After knocking on the door, he tried to psych himself up.
"Bell, what are you doi-" She started before he kissed her. He just put everything into the kiss. And she leant back. She looked sad and started talking, but it was too late. Bellamy had his answer, and he drove off to the party. He parked outside before looking at the message he sent to Miller.
I'm going to go for it. I'm going to kiss her. If it goes well, I just want to spend tonight with her. If not, I want to spend my night with alcohol and my head in a toilet.
He needed vodka. Now.
...
Everything hurt. He kept thinking, "you'll only feel this bad for a day, after that the hangover will be gone". But he knew that was bullshit. It wasn't the alcohol he regretted it was the kiss. He messed his friendship up, and now he was going to have a majorly awkward life. It meant feeling awkward around all of his friends because he messed up. He couldn't even just hang out with Miller since him and Monty were practically together, and Murphy was crushing on Emorri (which was hilarious to watch), who was friends with Clarke through her new Spanish club. He was screwed.
He got up from the floor of Anya's bathroom where he had spent his night, and went home. Clarke was waiting.
"Look Bellamy-" she started before he cut off.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have compromised our relationship, it was-"
"No Bellamy listen to me. I like you, I like you a lot. I have for a while. I keep trying to squash the feelings down but I can't. But that doesn't mean we can have a relationship. I wish it could. But we can't and I'm sorry, because we'd be great. We'd be so well suited." She looked so sad, it crushed him.
"Why? Why can't we? I like you, you like me. What else do we need?"
"I just don't believe in relationships. It's weird I know, but I don't. I used to be such a romantic, believing that love blossomed all around but the world isn't fair, and it certainly hasn't got suitable conditions to let love survive. No love lasts. So why cause yourself all the pain of falling in love, when it will only be taken away?"
Bellamy saw her physically wilt and he remembered the first time he heard her speak about her parent's divorce. He remembered the briefly seeing the wedding and engagement rings of the unsuccessful marriage. He remembered her face when she got the invitation to her mother's wedding. He remembered the first time she talked about Finn. The first time she cried to him about Finn. He remembered the pain she felt during her breakup with Lexa. And his pain he felt whilst she was dating her. So much pain suffered by once person. Yet he knew it would all be worth it, and all of the romcoms he'd been forced to watch by Clarke came running through his head.
"I know you've suffered, but you've only seen the bad of a relationship, not the good. It's true that you've seen a lot of ending of relationships, or bad people, but once you've found the right person, those relationships don't end. They stick. And I think I'm the right person Clarke. What about all your romcoms. If you don't believe in love what are they?"
"They're a teenager's version of a fairytale Bellamy. Whilst Snow White gets her prince on a white horse, Cindy gets Ronald on a lawnmower. And it's perfect. But it's a perfect dream, a fantasy, a hope for when you're feeling down about the unfairness of life. But it's not real. And I wish it were, but I can't suffer more pain."
She started to walk away and wipe the tears brimming over, before Bellamy gently grabbed her hand and almost whispered "You may think it's a fantasy, but I've never felt more real, or more alive than when I'm with you, and I'd rather have the pain of loosing you, to know that I really was alive. The time with you will always make me better, and make me feel, and I need you to know that a minute with your love would be worth an eternity of pain. And it always will." He gently pressed his lips to her ring finger before turning abruptly into his house.
...
He felt drained when the doorbell went ten hours later. He had a killer hangover, and he felt more like a zombie than a human. He hadn't checked his phone, just watched Clarke's favourite romcoms. He sloped down the stairs and opened the door to find a painting being held up. It looked like the last scene of "Can't Buy Me Love" when they ride off on the lawnmower together, but instead of the characters it was him and Clarke. She lowered the painting and said "maybe it's more lifelike than I thought".
After they kissed they didn't stop doing so, even through the messy arguments, and the children, and the stupid life choices.