Chapter Text
He didn't see too much of Ghost over the next few days. The man was incredibly busy with in-service training concerning mission planning and technical advancements. A vague phrasing, if Soap ever heard one. He himself was still trying to get his gaggle of recruits whipped into shape, so that he could release them to the battlefields to support their units with a clear conscience.
But when the goth masked fucker decided to turn up, it was intense in a way it had never been up until now. For one, Ghost had always saved him a spot in the past, so far so normal. But now, the seat was always next to him, while the lieutenant focused his whole attention on him, and him alone. Ghost leaned closer than he strictly had to, well invading Soap's personal space, just to tell him one of his stupid dad jokes, murmuring the answer to his trick questions almost directly into his ear. Thigh pressed to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, creating one burning, hot line down Soap's side.
It made him look forward to seeing the man even more and he couldn't deny that he really liked this new, concentrated attention that was bestowed upon him. But surely, Ghost couldn't mean it like that, the man just got more and more comfortable in their friendship, and Soap would ruin everything if he couldn't pull himself together.
But his renewed focus on the potential ulterior motive of his lieutenant, every move started to make his life more difficult. His friend insisted to suddenly start training together, even though he knew that Ghost enjoyed the advantages of visiting the gym at night time, when it was less frequented.
During training, the man seemed to always be stay close, perfectly placed to draw his gaze over planes of pale white skin littered with scar tissue. It felt designed to make his blood boil. Even when Ghost was just resting, perched up on the equipment he was using at that point, the man seemed perfectly arranged to make the sergeant salivate. Especially because he had started wearing a T-shirt and not, as per usual, with a thick hoody. Bulging muscles and the heavy rise of his chest drove Soap crazy.
Ghost was always in his line of sight. Was always beautifully posed. And those pretty, brown eyes always met his. It was mind-boggling.
Even though he couldn't be sure, if the man found some pleasure in taunting him because he had somehow found out about his crush, or if he was just starting to see things. Interpreting perfectly normal behavior in a way that fitted his needs.
So he told Ghost about how nice and friendly his new acquaintance seemed, how they had swapped food, and how kind of a gesture it had been, just to get a potential reaction from him. He wanted to suss out if the two Lieutenants knew each other, if they had been talking.
Ghosts eyes gave nothing away.
Soap was still suspicious. Maybe the guy had run his mouth, telling Ghost about Soap's little crush. The uneasiness got so far that it made him ask directly if he had already met the new lieutenant serving on base. He only stopped prodding him, when his superior shrugged and mumbled something about not having the time to engage with random guys.
It was kind of a non-answer, but quite typical for the man, so he was ready to count it as a semi-clear ‘no, Johnny and I do not care to meet him either’.
It was fine. Everything was fine. At least as long as Soap could ignore Ghost's strong hands, his wonderful, musky smell and the mounting proximity.
Soap wasn't a slave to his urges, he could do this.
It took two days until Soap saw the blonde Lieutenant again. He was seated at the same table they had occupied together, his back to the corner, exes fixed to his dinner. For a second, Soap contemplated if he should just leave him alone, if it would be weird to encroach on his space, now that there were in myriad of free tables available. But he had enjoyed the company and Ghost had texted him that he couldn't make it to dinner tonight, that they would see each other for breakfast though. Asking him what Soap wanted to eat.
This was another new thing, Ghost had started delivering Soap's food straight to the table, waiting for him to arrive, claiming that it enabled them to spend a little bit more time together, because they didn't really see each other these days. Which was true. It was still weird behavior.
Feeling his cheeks heat up, he stomped over to the table, making himself known by gently clearing his throat. “Lieutenant.” The man looked up and nodded at him as a greeting. One hand got extended and waved over to the seat opposite him, inviting him to sit.
“Thanks.” The blonde smiled at him and went back to his food, seemingly enjoying the easy silence between them. They only got talking when they had both finished off their plates and the lieutenant hands were free for quick communication. They held a little bit of smalltalk, before the man asked how Soap's little crush was doing.
He didn't plan on this, he really hadn't. But the guy was so god damn interested in his social life, seemingly enjoying the little rants about his Lieutenant's recent audacity to act as suspiciously as he did. Because the conversation was going well, Soap asked if the man had let something slip. If someone could've told Ghost, because even though he loved the new level of attention, it was concerning to him.
But the man locked eyes with him, and told him, with startling earnestness, that he would never let his secrets get out to anyone, especially not something like this. That guys like them had to stick together. Soap believed him. Maybe because he wanted to, but also, because the man started sharing a little bit about himself, how lonely he felt being gay in the military, and how good it was to finally talk to someone without getting judged. This dude was even further in the closet than Soap, and there was no way that he would risk himself being outed for nothing.
They stayed seated, even as everyone else filtered out of the mess hall, talking about past experiences as well as stupid little things. About how the guy liked to go jogging first thing in the morning, that he never told anyone, because he wanted to be undisturbed when he got the first glimpse at the sunrise.
But just as last time, the conversation always turned back to Soap's love life. The man seemed pretty invested in him succeeding. No wonder, with his history of nameless flings and no-strings-attached hook-ups. It was almost as if he was trying to vicariously live through him. But not in a weird creepy way, no. More like he was genuinely rooting for him to be happy. To go and “get the guy”.
Soap liked it. Just as he liked the little compliments the guy gave him to eradicate his doubt and stroke his ego whenever he raised concerns that, even if Ghost was gay, that he was probably not into him.
The man seems so steadfast and settled in his absolutely unfounded belief that Soap had a chance with the base's resident specter, that he just had to go and talk to him. It was inspiring really. The guy encouraged him with quick hand gestures, drilling it into him that he had to show that he appreciated the flirting, that he had to make his intentions equally as clear. Because realistically his friend could very well just be afraid of overstepping boundaries. That, even if he picked up on Soap being into him, he might just be a little shy.
Shy wasn't the word Soap would use for Ghost's newfound bravado at courting him, but he knew just what the man meant. He himself didn't dare act on Ghost initiating bodily proximity, instead choosing to be a passive bystander during all of it. No matter how clear the signs were.
So Soap collected all of his courage, tried to channel the recklessness he felt on the battlefield when he took a risk and plunged himself into the unknown abyss that was flirting with Ghost. It started by pressing his knee against Ghost’s during breakfast, hoping that the man couldn't hear the thumping of his racing heart, escalated into smiling at him during their shared workout and accumulated into getting his Lieutenant food for once.
It seemed to work, because the morning after, Ghost told him that he was important to him. That he always looked forward to eating together. That it was his respite from a stressful day. The words to return the sentiment spilled from his lips easily and he was sure that he had seen the mask move and the skin around the man's eyes wrinkle slightly.
A smile, just for him.
Unsurprisingly, Soap walked on clouds for the rest of the week, going so far is to try and reach out for his lieutenant, whenever his schedule allowed it.
Eating, training combined with chatting and flirting culminated in a text, sent by Ghost, just as Soap had told him that he looked forward to having breakfast together.
‘No.’
Soap's heart sank for a second, making him grasp the device a little harder between his fingers. Maybe he had read the signs wrong? Maybe spelling it out over text like this had been too much. Maybe his advances weren't as welcome as he had previously thought. Had it been a little bit too much?
‘Let's meet earlier. 0445 hours, in front of the barracks. Wear something warm, we're gonna go training.’
Soap sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a second. Fuck. Since when was he so prone to overthinking? Before his doubts could get the best of him, he typed out a cheeky reply, attaching a photo of him, lounging on his bed. ‘Then I should sleep now, if you plan on running me ragged this early.’
Ghost only shot back a thumbs up emoji and went off-line immediately after.
There was no reading the guy. Did this count as a date? Was he planning on murdering him in the woods surrounding the base? The man was a mystery and anything could happen. It wasn't as if Soap didn't like a good mystery, but it became a problem when the anticipation almost didn't let him sleep.
In the morning, the tumultuous feeling in his stomach hadn't gotten any better. If he was honest, it was even worse, now that it was so close to their clandestine meeting. There was no evidence that they would even be alone, maybe Ghost needed help with some exercise for his recruits. But wouldn't he have said so? At least for Soap to be able to prepare?
He was there a few minutes early, freshly showered, in his favorite workout gear, with the gray jacket that Ghost had commented on positively a few days ago. He shouldn't get his hopes up.
Standing in the darkness, he rubbed his hands together to warm them up, before stuffing them back into his pockets. Even if this was just a friendly training exercise, they could have fun together, just as they always did. He looked at the stars. Who was he kidding? His hope was flying with the clouds passing by, soaring through altitudes, unknown to most of mankind.
This had to mean something.
When his friend stepped outside, he pushed off the wall, grinned and came up to Ghost, who only granted him a courtesy-nod alongside a tired grunt. The man was wearing his usual black workout gear with the addition of a small headlamp, stripped around his forehead with a broad elastic band. It looked a little bit flimsy, and Soap found humor in comparing it with the almost antler-like headlamps that usually got mounted on the man's helmet during nighttime missions. This was a tempered down, domesticated version of the animal, he usually roamed next to.
Ghost must've caught him staring, because the man jerked his head and started jogging towards the gate, where only Soap had to show his ID card, Ghost was simply waved through. Everyone knew the fucker. Still, this simply wasn't protocol and it usually didn't happen on the off-chance of them convincing the lieutenant to join them for one of their pub crawls.
He does this regularly. Soap realized. Just like… his steps faltered quickly, picking up his pace again, trailing the man in an easy tempo before his friend could notice. No, there was no way. He would have to die out of sheer embarrassment if he had ranted about his crush on Ghost to no one else than the man himself. That he had moaned and sighed about his lieutenant's looks, his humor, his voice… everything.
Not to some stranger, but to the man he was deeply, irrevocably in love with. His ears and cheeks were tinted red, and he hoped to be able to put it off as being due to the work out.
It is entirely possible. Look at the facts. He told himself. Both Lieutenant's, similar body type, blonde and know sign language. Both like to go jogging before sunrise and were flirting with me, even though Ghost just started to ramp it up, after I told the guy about my crush.
Yeah. He had been blind and deaf, but there was no way this was a coincidence. This would also explain why an absolute stranger had no problem swapping meals with him, just because he didn't like his.
If his assumption was right, they were headed to watch the sunrise together. A romantic activity, if Soap had ever seen one. This was a date, wasn't it? Smiling, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry at the man, especially because he was sure that Ghost had been just as uncertain about this as Soap. That they were both nervous now.
Catching up to the lieutenant was easily achieved, especially because the man wasn't jogging at full tempo, taking his time.
“Lt?” Soap grinned up at him. “That was a great idea. Now ah ken why ye can actually eat that much durin’ breakfast. Ye must be mighty hungry, if ye do this each mornin’.”
The man smiled under his balaclava, looking down on him from the corner of his eye, but stayed silent. Johnny did the same, enjoying the way their footsteps synced up, and they fell into a comfortable, easy rhythm. The light of Ghost's small headlamp bounced over the path, revealing their way to Soap, keeping him from tripping on the occasional rock or branch. He could almost hear the gears in Ghost's head turning, just to propel his swirling thoughts. Did he think about how to confess to him? Or did you have a plan already, just going over it again and again?
Soap promised to himself that, if Ghost were to chicken out, he would do it for them. He would tell the man everything, all over again, but this time with the intention to actually let him know how much he liked him.
It was a little over half an hour later that they started jogging upwards a little hill, finally coming to a halt on a little lookout point with a few benches arranged in a half circle, overseeing the valley. It was a nice spot, albeit looking a little deserted. From the look of the plants that were crawling over most benches, it was lacking maintenance and most importantly, visitors. Was this Ghost's usual spot to watch the sunrise?
Slowing his steps, Soap let his eyes wander. A narrow, down treaded path of significantly shorter grass led to the middle bench. With how purposefully Ghost headed towards it, it wasn't a real coincidence that it was also the one with the least plant growth. The sun was still hidden behind the tree line, but the sky already started tinting into a lighter shade of blue, illuminating the landscape around them in a tranquil kind of way.
His friend settle down with a long, drawn out sigh, his shoulders relaxing and his eyes closing for a second. Again, domestic. This wasn't his colleague Ghost, this was Simon, the friend he chatted to at night, who he had dinner with whenever they could manage.
His movements were more careful than usually, apprehensive as not to startle the man next to him. Maybe it was good that Ghost was firmly trapped in his own thoughts, forced to confront the reality of the changing interpersonal relationship between them.
It took some time for Ghost to even acknowledge his presence. As Soap caught the first glance at the rising sun, the taller man scooted a little bit closer, pressing their knees together, sharing that little bit of warmth they had grown so accustomed to.
“I lied to you, Johnny.” The words were heavy, as if the lieutenant had to force himself to go through with his admission.
Soap had no intention of making this harder on his friend than it had to be. The man hadn't hurt him, and whatever the reasoning behind his actions, it couldn't have been malicious. Not if it was his Ghost.
“Ah… ah kinda ken. It's fine.”
The man didn't seem to have anticipated this response. A soft “Oh.” Fell from his lips, then there was a faint rustling of clothing, before Ghost tentatively lifted his hands and pulled off the mask.
“Should've seen this coming, do you have always been smarter than you let on. ‘m still sorry. Just couldn't help myself.”
Soap itched to say something, anything really. To climb on the man's lap, to kiss, pulling him closer, and finally get over with this song and dance which they had maintained over so long. But Ghost obviously felt guilty, so he let him get it off his chest. For now.
“You… didn't recognize me and I just wanted to make it a joke, but then you started flirting and… I just wanted to pretend for one little evening that this could work out and then I didn't want the flirting to stop and thought we could talk a little longer and then you told me that you liked… Well, me. And it was kind of a point of no return.”
Soap laughed and lead against them the man, grasping his gloved hand with his own. “Dinnae worry aboot it, really. Ah just realized it an hour ago and… well, ah still came with ye, didn't ah?” he was pleased that the fondness he felt in this moment, translated into his voice, seemingly putting the man at ease, because crooked fingers closed around his own.
“Are you sure? I… meant nothing bad. Just wanted to know if you picked up on my flirting and you did and… god, Johnny, I was a bloody coward. I shouldn't have lied to you. I just… wanted to do things you liked. I am sorry.”
Slowly, for the first time that they knew which other, he looked up at that beautiful face with all the reverence and devotion he felt for it. “Oh, Si. Ah ken. Do ye really think ah would think that ye did all of this without considerin’ me at all? It was a little selfish, but it worked, didn't it?”
The man next to him shrugged, emitting a non-commital noise. “You… really didn't recognize me? At first I thought you were kind of fucking with me… flirting and confessing as a joke…”
“Ah would never do that to ye!” His voice was surprisingly frail. The insinuation of Ghost thinking him capable of something like this stung. “Ah... think it was just a case of not expecting ye there. Ah never really saw yer full face, especially not in a packed mess hall. Ah think me brain assumed that it simply couldnae be ye.”
When Ghost chuckled, so did he, taking the mans hand, slowly stroking the crooked fingers. How could he have overlooked them? Those hands signing at him had obviously been his. How blind could a single person be?
Those brown doe eyes met his, so unbelievably warm in the golden light, as Ghost bowed down without another word, cupping his jaw with his free hand, before soft lips pressed against Johnny’s. Their first kiss was a little awkward because of the angle as well as their shared nervousness.
A little wet even, because the blonde obviously didn't really know what he was doing.
Later, Ghost would confess that this had been his first try at intimacy in a very, very long time. That he had felt like pulling away and barfing, just because he was so goddamn overwhelmed with the sensation of getting kissed, touched and, most importantly, held between gentle hands.
But for now, Soap could do nothing else than smile as his heart beat out of his chest. Who would have known that he could have both, the kind stranger in the mess hall, and the looming specter of a man that he had fallen so deeply for…?