Chapter Text
Eren
The low vibration of my phone wakes me up from a restless sleep. I peer over to see Levi was calling. My finger touches the answer key and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I whispered into the phone.
“Eren? You sound like shit.” Leave it to Levi to be blunt as ever.
“I know, what's up?”
“Are you ready?”
“The fuck?” I look at the time and see that it was three twenty P.M. What the hell is he talking about?
“By the tone of your voice, it appears that you have forgotten about today.” I look at my phone to see Dec. 31 on the phone. Every is coming back to me. Today is the New Year party.
“Shit, I’m sorr-”
“Don’t worry about it. Is your front door open?”
“Probably. Wait, there a black Accra blocking the driveway?” I ask.
“Let me check, hold on.” There was silence for five seconds before he spoke again. “Yeah, it's there why do you ask?”
Shit, he's home. Judging from how quiet the house is, he is sleeping. That means that Levi can’t come in. But he came in the last time. Oh well, it only for at least an hour before we leave. I rise up from my bed and start to walk to the door. I turn to the nightstand to see that the meds, water, and inhaler was still there. I walk back to the nightstand and shove the meds and inhaler in the small drawer and shut it close. Then I drain the water from the cup. I forgot that I was still on the phone with Levi. I raise my phone to my ear once again.
“Are you still there?” I said.
“What happened to you? You were silent for five minutes.”
“Sorry, I was busy doing something.”
“So can I come in or no?” I can hear the engine being turned off.
“Yeah, but just be mindful that you keep quiet when you come in. Text me if the door is locked.” I said and hang up the phone.
LEVI
I was already exhausted with shitty glasses antics in preparation of the party. Her way of doing things makes me annoyed. Do this, do that, spin this, order that, roast him, blaze her, and all of that bullshit. I told her that I was picking Eren up and left with a quick grab of my keys and helmet.
I walk to the door and gave a small twist to the doorknob to see if it was unlocked like Eren said it was. One small push to open the door and I was in. I walk in quietly and shut the door with a click. Grisha was nowhere to be seen. He is probably inside his room then.
I wander around the house with absent mind. The bottle cans were littered everywhere. From the stairs to the kitchen laid rum and vodka bottles in disarray. I was in the kitchen where most of the bottle were built in a wall and painted with such vivid colors. Red, yellow, orange, purple, and the Caribbean blue were sloshed together to make a distorted face of both Grisha and Eren, but Grisha was prominent in this artwork. Grisha looked angry with a monsterish looking face with Eren stuck within his face with a regretful looking eyes and dishevel hair.
I turn away from the kitchen and carefully walk upstairs. Eren still in the shower. That is a good thing because I can snoop around his room without a questioning look. I walked into his room and quickly shut the door. The room was immaculate from the closet to the bed. It almost meets up with my standards. It takes me ten seconds to snap out of my trance. I have no time to waste when Eren can come out of the bathroom any second.
I began to rummage through his drawers. The shower was still at large so I was still good for a couple of seconds. The first drawer holds no meaning, it was filled with underwear. Most of them was balled up inside socks. I could tease him in a few months or so for the choice of underwear. Like seriously, women underwear, nice going there Dead Eyes. The second drawer had nothing but a shitton of art supplies. I understand the desperation getting art to a person perfection but shit. This is excessive. I go through the drawer just in case that there wasn't a surprise in the art. The third drawer was filled to the brim with old and new sketchbooks. They vary in book and age. His first book could be buried deep within the drawer. I will not waste my time on this.
The last drawer were books placed neatly in the middle with a hard covered book that reads 'How to Live/Die'. That's weird, I thought to have three books on living and dying. I start to look further into the drawer when I cut myself. I gave out a hiss of pain and immediately pulled my hand back. I look down to see the deep cut on my index finger. What the fuck, why was this drawer booby trapped? I give the drawer a closer look at the drawer and my heart dropped to my knees. The drawer was filled in one corner with blood dried razors ranging from sharpening razors to shaving razors. In another corner was neatly folded up bloody sheet, gauzes, and paper towels. The back of the drawer held up tally marks with a bloody sticky note that reads 'Days Clean'. The tallies counted up to 409 days.
I felt a switch flip on in my mind. Telling me to use that blade to make a new landscape all over my legs and sides.
'you can do it, Levi!'
'stop.'
'take the first mark!'
'please don't make me.'
'its pleasure after the fifth one,'
'no, it's not'
'don't you want it?'
'no, it not worth it'
'doesn't it feel good to have a blade in your hand again?'
'STOP'
I quickly closed the drawer and took off my shoes. I ran out of the room and to the kitchen. I release the water from the faucet and watch the blood from my finger bathe itself in the miniature waterfall. The shower was still pouring in the bathroom. How long does this kid shower?
I should check up on him but I left a trail of blood from the room to the kitchen and I still feel buzzed from the memories of high school hitting with trucks and boats. I need to sit down or or lay down. Shit, I need to nap this off, but I can't leave this trail of murder like this. I take a load of paper towels and clorox from under the sink and started to clean the trail off. It takes a full ten minutes to get to the room where the whole thing originate. The drawer took in most of the damage of my finger could of gave out. I took off my cardigan and my glasses and placed it on his bed and drench the paper towels in bleach. I started to scrub the remaining blood from the last drawer. From top to bottom I was cleaning that damn drawer.
By the time I was done I ran down and threw out the paper towels and placed the bottle of bleach back under the sink, Eren finally turned off the shower. I walk back into the room and looked down to see that shirt and socks are still the pristine white as they were before. I walk to the closet and picked out an outfit similar to mine for Eren. I place the clothes on foot of the bed. I lay down face down and my eyes started to droop. It was at least five seconds before Eren quietly walks in the room.
"I see that you made yourself comfortable." I look up from the bed and see him in an extra large shirt that touched his knees. He looks adorable he is swimming in his own shirt. I took a quick look at his face. His dark circles was showing dominatingly, and his puffy, red eyes looks like they are about to go for round two with the absent shower.
"You look like shit, dude." I blurred out.
"And you are the one to talk?" He spits out. He walks towards me and catches a tear from my eye. "Did anything happened while I was showering, or before you came here? I don't need to know about it if you don't want me to." I nod to him and swipe my cheeks. More tears came faster than I can clean them.
"I'm sorry, can I use your bathroom?" He nods and I bolted to the bathroom. I lock the door as soon as I entered and I broke out in tears. What is wrong with me? I should be over those days where the blade was more appealing than myself. I took me awhile for me to get up from the floor. I walk to the mirror to get a peak of myself. I couldn't see the mirror and the mirror couldn't see me. I started to giggle and switch the faucet on and wash my face. I look under the sink and took out the first aid kit. The box was filled with band-aids. I take the rubbing alcohol and pour it on my finger. I gave out a hiss. I put the bandaid on neatly and put everything back in their respective places. I turned off the faucet and walked out of the bathroom and into the room.
Eren was already dressed in a black cardigan, dark jeans, white shirt and chucks, and was waiting patiently for me.
"Thank you for the outfit."
"You are welcome." I look at him and I did a double take on him.
"What wrong?"
"When did you dye your hair?" I ask him
"What do you mean?" He looks more confused than me.
"Your hair is a lighter shade that it was before." It used to be a chocolate brown. Now it was a weird auburn color. His hair wanted to run away from the malnourished boy who can't seem to find his perfect weight. I rummage through his closet and threw a slouchy beanie at him.
"I didn't dye my hair at all." He catches it and wears it with his bangs spilling out.
"Forget it. Also didn't you have dark circles." Whatever he is using on his face for the few minutes I needed to recover, must of have been really good because whatever impurities that what on his face disappeared like magic.
"What dark circles?" He said innocently. I walk past him and put on my glasses and my carrigain. I walk past him again to put on my platforms. Eren was already in front of the door. I look up to see that they weren't there.
"I don't know how you did it Yeager, but I'm onto you."
"I have many secrets, Levi."
"Oh really" I raised my eyebrow at him. I walk out his room when he puts his hand on my shoulder and leans a little to my ear.
"I can show you some of them, if you let me." His hot breath was there for the longest 3 seconds of my life. I turn to the little devil. He was giving me a THE slyest smirk. I can feel my cheeks heat up and my heart racing. We began to casually stroll out of the house. I grab my keys and my helmet and walk out the door.
Eren
"You are one piece shit you know that." We walk towards the Kawasaki. I took out my phone to see that it was 5:05. We are late to Levi's own party.
"And I'm proud of it." I smile at him. We get to the bike and he gives me the helmet from under the bike. Levi gets on the bike and I follow in suit. My arms link ups around his waist. Levi revs up the bike and sped away to the house outside city. Ten to twenty minutes later he pulls over to the nearest store.
"Eren? Are you okay?" He asks me as he turns around flips the face shield up the and gives me a look of concern.
"Nothing..... Why?"
"Your grip started to loose. If I was to continue driving, you would have flew right off the bike." He gives a quick look at the store in front of us. "I have an idea, you wait here." Levi unmounts and quickly runs to the store with his helmet on.
As soon as he was out of sight I unmounted and took off the helmet. I run as fast could to the nearest trash can. I barely made it as I vomit out my lunch of cranberry juice, three bags of chips, six candy bars and soda from my stomach. Funny, I can't seem to catch my breath. I wasn't an anxiety attack by a long shot. I felt for my asthma pump that thank God it was in my pocket. I give it two pumps and held it for a good ten seconds. The good thing was that I can breathe again, the bad thing was that I caught a cold. I feel my body reaching a limit of all of the movement today. I search through my pockets to feel that I have a Tylenol pack in my pocket. I started to thank God for blessing me with random drugs in my pockets. I open the packet and swallowed the two pills dry.
I feel like going home but I can't. I promised Levi that I will go with him. I slip a spearmint gum in my mouth and I walk back to the bike. It looks like Levi haven't come back yet. I mounted back on the bike and put the helmet on. Seconds later Levi comes back with a black scarf.
"What is that for?" I asked him.
"I'm going to tie this around the both of us, so that when I am driving I don't need to be worrying about you losing your grip," Levi said. He mounts on and begins to tie the scarf around us. He give a knot and start the bike.
"Don't you think this is ridiculous?" I ask him.
"No. As long you are safe, it really doesn't matter to me." i can feel myself blush from those simple lines. We drive away from the store. I hold on to him tightly as we speed off. It felt like hours before we got there and the only thing that can utter from my lips were holy shit. The place was large and decorated with lights and sounds.
"Do you like it?" Levi asks me. He parks the bike and unmounts. He first removes the scarf from our waist. I take a breath of fresh air and a small stretch. Levi's eyes were large for half of a second and turn his head. My bulging stomach must have been showing. My hands flew to my shirt and pulled them down, just in case someone else wanted a peak. He takes out a cover for the bike. I gave up trying to figure out when he had the time to neatly fold that cover.
"I can't judge from the outside," I tell him. I unmount and give him his helmet. Levi put both of the helmets under the bike and covers the said thing. Levi catches up to me.
"Well, you can come with me to a whole new world," Levi said as he leads the way to the party. I roll my eyes from that comment.
"Are you quoting from Aladdin?" I quip
"Probably, Why?"
"Nothing, it just that you are a dork." Levi looks heartbroken. He places a hand on his chest and mocks a hurt.
"I'm a dork? I feel so hurt by those words." I start to giggle and the short dude with platforms cracks a smile. We reach the door by the time our antics died down. The music was loud from the heavy drops of the shit Levi listens to. It has something to do with house or dubstep. Whatever the case maybe, it is fucking loud.
"Are you ready to go in?" He asks me. My palms of my hands feel moist and everything looks far away. I push away from this fear and put my hands on the door.
"I'm ready." I push the door and the blast of music and weed punches the shit out of my senses. I have never been to a party this large in my life. It made my birthday parties look like a backdoor outing.
A random dude was holding the tray. He asks the both of us if we wanted some. Levi nods and takes one. I, on the other hand, wanted to take as many as I usually would get in the convenience store. Then Armin’s voice pops into my head. If you are at a party and they offer you colorful candy, always take one. You don’t know if it is candy or not. I give out a sigh and take one. I turn around to see that Levi was nowhere to be seen. So I start to walk up to the familiar blond coconut by the punch.
"Armin, I feel like you are everywhere." He turns to me and gives me the biggest hug. "Aren't you suppose to be studying for that test next week?" I ask him.
"The G.D. test?" I nodded. "I took that three weeks ago. So I'm on break for an extra week."
"You lucky son of a bitch. I still need to paint something over."
"How are you going to do that?" Armin asks. I take one of the spiked drinks from the table and drain it down.
"While I'm drunk and naked."Armin snaps and winks at me.
"That's the only way to go!" He said. Armin grabs my hand and starts to lead me to the dance floor. I love this drunk Armin, the complete opposite of the sober one. He looks free from troubles and life. This is the best thing that happened since that incident in high school.
It was a click in my head and body and I began to balter in the electronic music. This new feeling of chills every time someone touches me was foreign to me. My body was in overdrive with all of this enhanced senses. Time became a blur of mix n’ match shades of colored lights that furiously ran wild around the dark and clothes. I felt a light tap on my arm that sent a wave of chills. I turn my head to see Levi gesturing me to come with him. I grab his hand and he starts to guide me away from the wildly dancing limbs and through the halls and upstairs of this graffiti painted mansion.
“Are you taking me to the roof?” I ask him.
“That was the surprise, but you had a lucky guess.” Levi takes me through the door to meet the star littered sky with the hints of the turquoise and blue dance everywhere, leaving the darkest parts of the night to make way for them. I take my hand away from Levi’s and began to walk towards the ledge that faces the city. It was a bright yellow, green, and red that illuminates one of the corners of the inky sky. I was lost for words. I couldn’t keep my lips together because of this... Masterpiece. A single finger place itself on my lips It felt like fire, but in a good way.
“No words, just stare,” Levi said. His hands reconnected with mine and starts to guide me towards the edge of the roof. We sit there with our legs dangling off the roof.
“How did you find this place?” I ask
“I just so happen to stumble across this abandoned house.”
“Sure.” I shot him a skeptical look.
“Already doubting me. If it wasn't for me you would get to see this.”
“Alright, alright.” I make a quick glance at my phone to see it's 11:30 P.M. Thirty minutes before the new year. I haven't made any resolutions yet. This night was peaceful despite the raging music downstairs.
“Levi?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we are high?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Everything looks distorted, every time someone or thing touches me, I feel an instant rush of the chills or fire, but in a good way. Also, everything looks kind of blurry.”
“Same thing here. It looks like that candy that we ate earlier was molly.”
“Molly?”
“Ecstasy,”
“Oh,” There it was, that awkward silence. It is like the awkwardness was anticipating this particular moment. The awkwardness was very thick in the air at this point. I check my phone to see 11:50 P.M. scribbled in that weird font on my phone. In Ten minutes it will be 2016. Levi turns his head towards me and breaks this short silences.
“What are your resolutions?” His eyes were dilated at this point.
“What?”
“Resolutions. You know the thing you make for the new year to have accomplished before the next year?” I flip him off as he giggles at his own sarcasm.
“I dunno at this point. I was hoping to move out the house next year but I don’t have a job. No, I won’t be able to hold a job.”
“Then get the job with me.”
“I rather not. A place where my dad frequents at a place is a no zone.”
“Who said I can’t handle your dad?”
“Well, I don’t want you to get-”
“ Eren, Relax and think. Who was the one who push away your dad when he was having a tantrum.”
“You were”
“Exactly.” He showed proudness all over his face.
“I also want to try to beat this bulimia. It might not work but I want to try.”
“Well, that’s the spirit.” Levi places his hand on my head and ruffles my hair. Well, it not likes it was already messed up in the first place.
"Well, what’s your resolution?”
“To be honest, I’m not really sure about it. If anything I want to make amends.”
“Amends?”
“Yeah, to someone who hurt me in high school.” I wanted to hold his hand but it doesn't look like Levi would like the pity gesture. His eyes have darkened as his mood. I have this lingering idea in my head but I'm not so sure if I should do it. Well, here goes nothing.
“Oh, I haven’t rewarded you for that”
“Huh, a reward for what?” I began to blush like there was no tomorrow. I
“For that time in the store”
“That was-” I pressed my lips to his. It was more than that cliche spark. It was a jolt of pleasure. The fireworks were flying into the ink sky and exploding into these bright bursts of color. I stop to see Levi was wordless with wide eyes. Even he cannot explain the mess I have created. I wanted to jump off this roof for the stupidity I have caused, but he kisses me back with much more fierceness. Did I want this to happen? I’m not so sure now. This artificial pleasure has given this kiss more definition of the words high, euphoria, and fake. Did I want more of this feeling? Yes. At this stage, I was on top of him. I just so happen to see the sheer terror in just a glance off the roof. She was here. At this party. Her out of all people. I began to slowly get off of Levi and quickly walk to the door. Levi looks disappointed at the action but snapped out of it of that euphoria and quickly came to my side.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked me. His voice had skipped a note trying to come out of that heated makeout session.
‘I need to leave right now. Is Mikasa at here?” We walking quickly out of the staircase when my phone starts to blare out. I check to see that the said person had just so happened to text me ‘where are you’. I text her my location. It was like this moment was happening in fast forward. She texts me what I hope my eyes had seen. I feel like screaming at this point but it would be futile because I would get a whole lot of crazed and concerned faces.
“Yes, but what happening” There was a great concern in his voice with a hint of regret. The second I saw her I pointed to her.
“Do you see that girl with the eyes?” Levi’s eyes follow the finger to the girl with the punch in the dance floor. I put my hand down and began to walk to the exit.
“Yeah I see her. Why what's wrong with her?”
“That's the person I have been avoiding since sophomore year.” I began to text Mikasa if she can take me home.
“Sophomore year of college?”
“No of high school.” Well, Levi’s eyebrows could've hit the moon if it wasn’t attracted to his forehead. Mikasa has texted me that she at the back of the house. Levi was hovering over me to see the text message. He quickly turns me around to lead me to the back exit and to the black Accra with the engine running.
“Is that person dangerous?” Levi asked me
“I guess you can say that.” Mikasa was in the driver’s seat and she was ready the floor it as soon as my ass touches the seat. I open the door and jump in. Levi closes the door and I roll down the window to see Levi Just idly standing there.
“Hey Levi,” I call out to him. He walks closer to my door. Since he’s short, there is no need for him to crouch down.
“Yeah?”
“Thank for tonight and this party. I would have been doing something else but I came here with you. So...Thank you” Levi began to look like a tomato. I wave to him and zoom off. Twenty minutes into the drive Mikasa slightly turns to me.
“You look like a cherry.” I look into the mirror at my right and true to her words my face looks horribly red.
“Shit.”