Chapter Text
Brian didn't come over the next night, and Matt wondered if it was because he had texted him earlier in the day offering to let him just stay over until they headed to Europe. Brian had declined, though he hadn't been rude about it, and Matt tried not to think about all the other numbers in Brian's phone the man could be calling. It bothered him less when he made himself actually think about it. Brian was still clearly struggling and Matt understood, as much as any one of them could. He couldn’t imagine being alone in that house, living with the memories that he had shared with Jimmy in that very space. Being on tour and constantly busy would have helped, and before there had been the album; Brian had been using what coping skills he had, and the constant drive and creative output to write and record had given him endless distractions. Now they truly were on a break, however short, and while the slower spin of daily life was welcome, Brian likely had entirely too much time to sit and stare at the walls, remembering. If he needed more distraction than Matt was in a place to provide, Matt could understand that. And hells, he and Brian hadn’t made any actual promises to each other just yet, and Matt didn’t think that he could expect for some kind of exclusivity that he hadn’t actually asked for.
Matt did his best to stay busy that evening (which mostly included hopping on to Call of Duty and jumping every time his phone buzzed), and tumbled into bed in the wee hours of the morning, soaking in the scent of Brian that still lingered in his sheets. He woke quite late in the morning, his neck stiff and his shoulders aching, the sheets uncomfortably wrapped around him. He had gotten used to sleeping in his bunk (as much as he ever could), and sleeping in a full bed again still felt a little odd. When he dragged his phone off his nightstand he found a text from Brian from over an hour before.
Brian [10:30]: you up?
Matt [11:45]: am now
Brian [11:47]: lol, sleep well?
Matt [11:48]: ugh. You?
Brian [11:51]: my couch fucking sucks, man. Wanna help me make up my bed tonight? Fitted sheets suck.
Matt [11:52]: Sure, just let me know when.
He didn’t hear from Brian again until that evening, and all it said was hey any time. Matt grabbed a bottle of whiskey, figuring that in the spirit of mending fences and trying to do things the right way he might take the bottle in one part peace offering to one part attempt to recreate the day everything had ended. Hopefully Brian would at least get a solid chuckle out of it, if nothing else.
Brian answered the door in just a pair of shorts, looking slightly damp and a little flushed. Matt had a hard time not staring; Brian's hair looked soft and touchable, the sides just starting to grow out and the strip down the center of his head long and curling where it fell over his forehead. He wanted to slide his hands over those hard muscles, the strength visible in his shoulders, the cut of his abs, the way his hips shifted beneath the paleness of the skin stretched taut over his bones as he looked Matt over. The muscles of his arms and chest flexed as he folded his arms and gave Matt a once over.
“Whiskey again? Really?” He arched a sharp eyebrow, lips pulling wryly to one side.
“Thought we could try this again,” Matt offered, knowing damned well he likely looked like a hopeful puppy but unable to help himself.
“Mmm,” Brian sounded noncommittal, but his eyes were shining as he stepped back from the door to let Matt through, snagging the bottle from his hands as he went by.
“Sheets in the bedroom?” When Brian nodded, Matt went on, “you get the glasses, let me get started.” He kicked off his shoes and headed down the hall, glancing back just once. Brian still stood where he'd left him, but his eyes had gone very soft and his body was very still as he watched Matt meeting his gaze with something in his face that Matt didn't think he had ever seen directed towards him. Something like affection, something a little like love; something that made Matt's stomach heat twist and shiver.
The purple sheets were laid across Brian's bare mattress looking silky and stunning, and Matt let himself run his fingers gently over the soft material for a moment before he carefully draped the top sheet out of the way and shook out the huge fitted sheet. It took some effort; Brian's bed was huge but Matt worked meticulously to stretch the elastic corners over their respective edges, then smoothed out the wrinkles and lined up the sides with care. By the time he was working the last corner over its edge, Brian padded into the room with a glass in each hand.
“Looks like you hardly need me,” Brian remarked as he leaned against the dresser. Matt grunted as he tucked the edge beneath the mattress and straightened.
“Happy to help,” he smiled, then Brian was pushing off the dresser and lifting one of the glasses to Matt's lips. He drank carefully, just a sip, then the other man lifted the glass away. Brian pressed the glass into his hand, then cupped Matt's cheek, thumb swiping gently across his bottom lip.
“Yeah, I know. You always have been. You can't hardly help it,” There was no rebuke or teasing in his voice this time, and Matt pressed his lips gently against Brian's thumb. Brian pressed the digit gently against his lips, then leaned in for an actual kiss. He tasted the whiskey already on the man's tongue, the smokey, oaky flavour in counterpoint to the sweetness of the kiss. Matt tightened his grip on his glass as Brian's hand cupped his cheek, tilting his head down even as Brian pressed his bare chest against Matt's t-shirt.
“Well,” Matt could feel the gravel in his voice as he spoke, felt Brian's hips pressing into his at the sound of it. “I don't mind some assistance but I'm happy to do this for you.”
Brian shivered against him as his mouth brushed down Matt's neck, his kisses butterfly soft and almost indistinguishable from brush of air from each exhale. It took him a moment to realize that Brian was breathing a little hard, and a moment longer yet to realize that he was too. The whiskey was warm in his chest and belly, but it only fed the fire sparking between them both. Brian's teeth closed gently over the muscle joining his right shoulder to his neck, then finally he lifted his head to nudge his nose just beneath Matt's ear.
“I like you doing this for me,” Brian whispered, and for a moment they stood together, Brian's face pressed against his neck, the palm of his free hand on Matt's cheek. Matt turned his head after a moment and kissed Brian's palm before gently disengaging to take another sip from his glass.
“Hold this a minute,” he urged as he handed his glass back to Brian and turned back to the bed.
It would have gone more smoothly if Matt's hands hadn't been trembling, but he managed to shake out the top sheet and get it draped over the bed, walking around each side to adjust the length until he got it even. He'd slept in enough hotel beds to have an idea how it was done professionally, but if Brian had any special preferences he didn't mention them so Matt just made it like he made his own bed at home. He tucked in the foot of the bed, then carefully began folding in the two bottom corners. Matt could feel Brian's eyes on him every step of the way, sweeping his body each time he crouched down and lifted a corner of the mattress to tuck the fabric underneath.
“Do I really want to know how much these cost?” he asked conversationally as he began to smooth out the wrinkles.
“You really don't,” Brian laughed, low and husky. When Matt glanced back at him he saw him wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, and his memory called up an image of what those lips looked like stretched about his cock, wet with his come, how they shaped his name as Brian chanted it like a prayer.
“Yeah, okay,” Matt had to take a moment before he got back to his feet, so hard inside his own shorts he had to take a deep breath and press one hand to the mattress to lever himself up.
“Thank you,” Brian smiled, holding out his glass to him, “I can get the rest of the blankets myself later.”
“You're welcome,” Matt took the glass and swallowed another mouthful, though this time he barely tasted it. Brian was looking up at him with hungry eyes, his own glass sitting on the edge of the dresser. Brian had his back to the drawers, each hand gripping the edge on either side of his own body. “Any time.”
“Fuck it,” Brian finally breathed, and reached to grip Matt's hips with both hands, reeling him in to stand between Brian's long legs. “I need you to fuck me so fucking bad, Matt.” One of those strong hands gripped Matt's ass as the other slid beneath his shirt, his palm sliding up Matt's spine.
“Yeah,” Matt groaned, carefully placing his glass next to Brian's as he rolled his hips, pushing them into Brian's to feel the hard length of him rub against his own. “You want me inside you?”
“Yes,” Brian murmured, his legs squeezing on either side of Matt's thighs and his mouth hot on his neck. He rucked up Matt's shirt with one hand, then helped him drag it up over his head. Matt threw it off to one side and Brian pressed up against him once more, bare skin against bare skin and Matt could feel the flex of his muscles as he buried his face in the side of his neck.
“Good,” Matt breathed behind his ear, relishing the shiver he felt wrack him as his breath teases the sensitive skin, “I've missed that gorgeous ass of yours so goddamned much.”
Brian groaned and began to work both of their shorts down. They stood close enough that he could hook his index fingers in Matt's shorts, his thumbs in his own and push them down together with a shove of his hands. It didn't quite work; Brian's shorts slid down but the elastic of Matt's wasn't loose enough and Matt felt his catch at the top of his ass. Brian laughed, muttered something about Matt's bubble butt and grabbed the fabric at the waist to haul it down. Matt was about to retort but hissed quietly instead as he felt Brian's hard length rubbing against his own, this skin soft as velvet and hard as himself, though the tip of Brian's dick was already wet, dripping precum over them both. He could feel his own moan low in his chest, rumbling against them both before he eases himself down to his knees.
“Fuck,” Brian's voice came out high and airy, and Matt could feel one of his hands catching in his hair as he dragged his tongue up the underside of his cock.
Brian whimpered as he caught his tongue on the ridged edge of the head, tasting the salty drips there before he wrapped his mouth about it. Brian's thighs shook and Matt gripped them with both hands to steady him. Brian continued to curse somewhere above him, his hips moving slowly as Matt let him thrust gently into his mouth. Another spill of precum trickled down Matt's throat and he coughed a little, the pressure of his fingertips enough to ease Brian back as he caught his breath. When he looked up again he could see Brian's chest was heaving, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He had dropped his head back but Matt didn't need to see his face to know he was straining to hold himself back. When Matt ran one hand up his stomach, reached higher to graze one nipple, Brian lifted his head to glance back down at him again and caught his hand in his own. Matt shivered as Brian pulled his fingers into his mouth to suck, tongue dragging across his index and middle finger and his cheeks hollowing.
Matt didn't need a map to get the directions Brian was giving him; as soon as Brian's mouth let go of his fingers he slid them back beneath his balls, stroked the sensitive skin he found there and quickly eased his index finger up between his cheeks. Brian was as tight as he remembered and when his fingertip found resistance he simply stroked the furled skin, massaged it with the pads of his fingertips as he took his cock back into his mouth. Brian was whimpering between his curses now, but as Matt teased him open he seemed to remember how to breathe. Each inhale was still shaky but his breathing slowed and as it slowed, Matt was able to gently work his fingertip into the clenching muscles of his ass. Any other time Matt would have shrugged it off and told Brian not to worry about it, but he could feel the other man's determination. Trying to suggest something else would only make him dig in his heels, and the argument wouldn't make it any easier for him to relax.
“Keep breathing,” Matt murmured, lips pressed to the side of his cock as he held his finger still, listened to Brian inhale again, then slid it to the second knuckle on the exhale. Brian tensed once more, then relaxed enough that Matt could curl that finger enough to begin to rub at the knot of nerves he remembered. There was a shocked, sharp gasp and his hips jerked, and for a moment Matt thought the man would finish right there. Had he been the last person to have his fingers there? Had Brian allowed this liberty to anyone else? Or had Matt been the only one to touch him like this, to have the patience needed to untangle his nerves and unwind his tension until Brian could reach the pleasure that waited for him at the end. They weren't productive thoughts, but as Matt took him back in his mouth Brian cried out and his cock jerked. Matt sucked gently, teased the slit with his tongue until he caught several more drops, then began to coordinate the rub of his finger with each flick of his tongue. Brian lasted only a minute or two of that before he was shuddering with one fist in Matt's hair, yelping with the force of his orgasm as he filled Matt's mouth.
Matt swallowed as best as he could, coughed slightly, then cleared his throat as Brian wheezed for air above him. The muscles about his fingers had eased entirely, and Matt took the moment to slip a second finger inside the first. The muscles twitched and spasmed about the digits, and Brian made a soft, plaintive little sound at the additional stretch. Matt licked his lips clean and heard another whine, glancing up just in time to catch Brian watching him hungrily, his own lips parted and chest damp with perspiration.
“Goddamn,” Brian laughed breathlessly as he shifted his weight to better brace his feet. “At this rate I'm not even sure you'll make it to the sheets.”
Matt wiggled his fingertips until Brian squirmed and chuckled, nosing against the man's hip. “We'll make it,” he promised. He had to take a deep breath before he slipped his fingers free and pushed to his feet, steadying himself with one hand on Brian's hip and the other on the top of the dresser. Brian slipped an arm around him and pulled him in for a gentle kiss, his mouth yielding to Matt's hunger.
“Fuck, Matt,” Brian whispered, and Matt knew he could taste himself still on his tongue.
“Nobody does this to me like you,” Matt breathed the words against his chin, felt the man's breath hitch. He gently wrapped Brian's hand in his own, drew him towards the bed. Brian followed without protest, stumbling a little as his knees didn't seem to want to hold him.
“Every time I saw you bent over that goddamned board in the studio, every time you got down to adjust your pedals all I could think was how much I missed your ass,” Matt let Brian drop onto the bed on his stomach, then followed him down with a knee between his thighs, his hands coaxing them firmly apart. He began to smooth his palms up the backs of his legs, dragged his thumbs up the softness of his inner thighs and watched Brian's hips shift, the muscles of his ass flexing.
“I need you, Bri,” he whispered as he braced his hands on either side of his ribs. “Gods, I've needed you so fucking bad, just to touch you again, to hear you swearing and whimpering my name.” Matt bent his head to press his lips to the nape of Brian's neck and heard the low gasp in his throat. He kept the kisses moving, lips tracing down his spine and listened to Brian's breathing catch and hitch in his chest.
“Matt,” the man whispered, “Please.”
“Please what?” Matt closed his teeth on a small fold of skin at the center of Brian's back in a small nip. “You don't have to beg, baby, you only have to tell me.” he lifted his head, felt himself chuckle low, “though I know how pretty you sound when you want to beg.”
Brian's answering chuckle was strained, and Matt drew his tongue over the spot he'd bitten in gentle apology to the reddening skin. He continued his meandering trail of kisses down Brian's back, pressed his nose to the soft skin just above the cleft of his ass sighed. Brian flinched at the soft rush of air over his skin and Matt pulled away to give him a moment to catch his breath while he grabbed the bottle of lube and a condom from the table by the head of the bed. When he glanced back, Brian had turned his head to watch him, eyes so hazy and pupils so blown that Matt would have thought, in different circumstances, he might be on something. There was a flush staining Brian's cheeks and even though it was Matt that had given the blowjob, Brian's lips were swollen as if he'd been biting them to hold in his cries.
“I told you, I want you to fuck me,” Brian gaze followed him as Matt climbed back on the bed. “I want your cock in me again, please.”
“You missed it that much?” Matt knelt back between Briand knees, giving himself a little more room to work as he set the lube to the side. “Think you'll be able to take me like you used to?”
“Fuck, yes,” Brian choked off a laugh as each of Matt's hands gripped one ass cheek and pressed apart, exposing the delicate skin to the cool air of the room. Matt watches as the muscles clenched tight, then relaxed again, still damp from his wet fingers, and likely just as sensitive.
“I'm going to lick you open,” Matt whispered, “get your pretty hole wet and dripping for my cock. I'll make sure you're gaping open for it baby, I'm not gonna hurt you no matter how much you want me to hurry up.” His actions echoed his words as he bent to drag his tongue over his skin, holding Brian open wide with both hands and using his legs to pin his thighs with his weight. Brian writhed like he'd been shocked, only Matt's heavier weight keeping him from being unseated as he repeated the long, slow lick from his perineum to his tailbone. He refused to speed up the pace or focus further until he could feel Brian's thighs trembling beneath him, then he kept his word and began to slick his tongue across the soft, sensitive skin of his hole again and again. He kept it up until his mouth ached and Brian thrashed, gasping for air, spit trickling down his crack to his balls, which had drawn up tight beneath him. Matt was delighted to find that at some point Brian had gotten hard again; he was rubbing a spreading wet spot into the sheet beneath him and sweat was gleaming on his shoulders. Brian maybe wasn't quite gaping open for him, but Matt could see the flushed pink skin clenching on nothing as if trying to pull his tongue, his fingers, or his cock inside.
“Please,” Brian's voice cracked. “Matthew, fucking please.”
Matt pressed a very gentle, very chaste kiss to one cheek, then reached for one of Brian's hands, pulling it back. “Hold yourself open for me, baby? I wanna see your hole while I get the condom on, fuck, you're so fucking pretty like this.”
Brian's hand gripped where Matt placed it, then he twisted back to meet his eyes. “Fuck the condom, I'm clean. Got tested before tour, haven't touched anyone since. Please, Matt, I want to feel you,” he whispered. The words were pleasing but the tone was not, and Matt felt his cock jerk at the very idea of feeling all that silky, burning heat about him. He might only last a minute, but he was quite certain that minute would be a fiery heaven that he would be happy to lose himself in.
“Yeah,” Matt reached for the lube instead of the foil packet and slicked up the full length of his cock with quick, economical motions, trying to avoid getting himself even more worked up before he even managed to get inside the other man. “Fuck, you sure? I mean I know I'm clean but-”
“Matt you motherfucker if you don't get your dick inside me I'm going to fucking hit you,” Brian's voice cane out in a low growl and he twisted back around again, wild-eyed and glaring.
“Okay! Okay,” Matt chuckled but he was already pouring a generous handful of lube into his palm and pressing it to Brian's skin, his fingers working it inside as deep as he could get it. Brian whined and shivered through the preparation but he didn't tense up. Matt pressed his cock gently against the taut rim of his hole, watched the skin stretch and stretch around it, then close about the head of his dick, swallowing it into that blazing slick heat. He had to take a moment to close his eyes and suck in a deep breath to hold it together, then gently, carefully pushed a little deeper. Brian stayed relaxed until he got about halfway in, then his body stiffened, his back going tight beneath Matt as he locked up.
“Matt,” Brian swallowed noisily, then nudged him with one elbow. “Pull out. Let me roll over.”
Matt obeyed and carefully eased back, reluctantly pulling himself free before he scrambled backwards on the bed to give the other man room to move. Brian laid still for just a moment, only his chest moving as he wheezed for air, then he pushed himself onto his back, pushing a pillow beneath his hips and another beneath his head.
“You good?” Matt asked, and when Brian nodded he gently pushed his thighs up and out, easing his knees towards his shoulders.
He had thought that this position might make Brian feel trapped, unable to move or get any leverage for himself but when he eased his cock back in and glanced up, he realized that Brian had wanted to see. The other man's dark, melting eyes were fixed on him, wide and intent as he gripped his own knees with his hands. Suddenly Matt didn't think he was so steady himself, and it took far more effort to keep his movements careful and slow as he worked his way in a little deeper with every thrust. Once he had reached roughly the same depth as before he reached between them and caught Brian's cock in his hand. Brian hissed softly at his touch and went still, his eyes fluttering closed, then opening once more. He nodded again at Matt, and he carefully, slowly moved his hand up the length of his cock. It looked like Brian would have arched if he could have, but pinned as he was on his back he could only strain, his head dropping back on the pillow as his shoulders tensed. Matt felt that tension run through his body, gripping him so hard it ached before it fell away and Brian slumped into the sheets again.
“Keep going,” Brian urged in a rasp as he settled his own hands behind his knees in a firmer grip. “I know that's not all you got.”
Matt obeyed, smiling faintly; Brian had been right, he still had another few inches before he was all the way in, but now that he had his bearings he shifted his weight on his knees and began to move properly. This time he was able to draw back a few inches, then slide forward a few more and it wasn't long before he felt his balls pressing against Brian's ass, his hips flush against him as he gripped his thighs in both hands. Brian was panting heavily, his face flushed and a few strands of dark hair clung to the dampness at his temples and forehead.
“You got all of me,” he murmured, “I knew you could still take me.”
Brian snorted, his eyes closed, and Matt could feel the muscles working around his cock, tightening incrementally before loosening again in slow waves. There was a small puddle where his cock rested against his belly, and Matt reached down to swipe his fingertips through it. Brian glanced up in time to watch Matt lick his fingers clean and whined, shivering.
“Fuck that's hot,” Brian shifted slightly, then took a slow, deep breath. He let it out in a rush, then repeated, and each time he exhaled Matt felt his body loosening its hold on him.
“Better?” Matt asked, and reached between them again to run his fingers down the vein on the underside of Brian's cock, then gently cradled his balls in his palm.
“Y-yeah,” Brian sucked in another breath, his chest rising, then let it out slowly. “Fuck, you're fucking huge, Matt.” It sounded a little reproachful and Matt smiled wryly down at him.
“Need another minute?”
Brian shook his head, and Matt slowly, carefully withdrew a little before he let himself fall into an easy, familiar rhythm. Brian's knees gripped at his sides, his feet brushing his hips and Matt bent to catch his mouth in a kiss that seared through him as hot and wet as the grip on his cock. Brian's body opened to him a little at a time as he adjusted, and Matt changed his angle a little at a time until he heard small sounds begin to escape the other man. Brian had let go of one of his thighs to reach between them, catching his cock in his fist to stroke and Matt closed one hand around Brian's, letting him guide both their fists. It was then that the man began to get loud, swearing as his end rushed up on him.
“That's right,” Matt crooned, feeling the heat racing through him and fighting to stave it off. “Come on my cock for me, Brian, fuck, I'm going to fill you up, I'm going to fucking fill you with my come and-”
Matt broke off as his orgasm swallowed him down and drowned him, tumbling him into brilliance as Brian's body dragged him under. Somewhere Brian shouted, and Matt wrapped his arms about Brian's legs, cradled him, buried his face in his neck and sobbed out each breath until he could see once more. Brian was a sticky, boneless heap beneath him, and Matt could vaguely feel his long thighs wrapped about his hips. He had collapsed above the other man, trapping Brian's hand between them, still in a loose fist about his cock.
“Christ,” Brian mumbled, and Matt laughed hoarsely against his neck.
“Yeah,” he managed, and planted the heel of one hand next to Brian's shoulder to try to push himself a little more upright. It mostly worked, though Matt had to blink a few times to get his eyes to focus. “You good?”
“Mmmm,” Brian hummed, pulling his hand from his cock, come dripping from his fingers. Matt caught his wrist and drew it to his mouth to lick clean, and felt a twitch from the muscles that still surrounded his cock as Brian's body responded to the sight. It was too much for Matt and he swore, hastily sliding back out of Brian as the man laughed.
“Oops.” Brian didn't sound remotely sorry, and Matt retaliated by continuing to lick his hand clean. Brian shivered as he drew his tongue slowly over every finger, lingering on the callouses on his fingertips and curling it carefully about each knuckle. By the time he let go again Brian was still breathing a little hard, his face flushed.
“If I thought you could go again I'd lick you clean everywhere else,” Matt purred, flicking his eyes down to Brian's cock, then lower still to make sure Brian knew exactly what he meant.
“Gods, no, fuck,” Brian squirmed away from him half-heartedly and pulled his hand free from Matt's grip. “You put that wicked fucking tongue in my ass again and I'll fucking shriek.”
“I'd like to hear that sometime,” Matt mused as he settled back down next to Brian. They were both terribly sticky, but Matt knew his legs were likely to betray him if he tried to get up just yet.
“Bastard,” Brian pulled the top sheet up over them both, and curled against Matt's back, nosing at the nape of his neck. “Next time, maybe.”
Matt hummed his approval and closed his eyes, letting his exhaustion wash back over him. He thought he had actually dropped off to sleep when Brian spoke up again.
“Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night?” He asked into Matt's hair, giving Matt's waist a light squeeze.
“You mean go get some food, or do you mean pick me up at six and take me to dinner?”
“I can negotiate the time, if six doesn't work,” Brian offered, his voice soft and low.
Matt felt himself smiling, an unbearable lightness filling his chest as if trying to squish the breath back out of his lungs. “Nah, six is fine. Let me know if I should wear a tie.”
“Hmmm,” Brian sounded like he was considering the image of Matt in a tie in his head. “I'll let you know.”
Matt caught Brian's hand in his own, cupped his fingers about the loose fist his fingers made and gave it the smallest squeeze. “I'll plan on it,” he promised, and felt Brian's smile against his skin.