Chapter Text
The quiet is the worst, Alex can tell that Henry thinks it’s peaceful, Henry can’t see the turmoil, the war waging inside Alex’s head, the utter destruction, the carnage, the planning and plotting of self-destruction.
Henry knows, Henry knows about him, Alex doesn’t want to have to think about it anymore, does want to remember it, he just wants to go back to his life with Henry, his normal life, spending time with his friends, his family, going to scho-
Ah. maybe he can’t do that one straight away, then he spirals back down to the bottom again and remembers that Henry knows, he feels it creeping up, infesting every thought he tries to form, feels it, feels the fear taking over-
“I didn’t cheat on you.” it bursts out of Alex, he needs to say it, before Henry gets mad at him, before Henry shouts at him.
“What.” Not a question. Henry’s face drops as Alex’s statement hangs in the air, and confusion takes over his face.
“I didn’t cheat on you.” He feels like he should say more, build up his defence, that's the law student in him talking, he needs to make sure Henry understands him, needs to hear his side of the story but Alex can’t think of anything else to say, he assumes the Henry already knows everything, has heard the version of events while Alex was in hospital which has become the truth, all while Alex has been in a coma unable to tell his side of events. Unable to defend himself.
“I know that.”
“What?” Now it's Alex’s turn to be confused, he doesn't understand, Henry knows what happens, so he knows that someone else kissed him, someone else touched him, and Henry is agreeing with Alex, what the fuck is going on.
“I know you didn’t cheat on me, I was trying to say it earlier, I guess I should have thought more about how you would react, it was stupid and careless but I needed you to know that it wasn’t your fault what happened, you have nothing to be sorry for, it wasn’t your choice he- he drugged you Alex-” wait. What? How the fuck does Henry know that?
“How- how do you know that?”
“The doctors ran a blood test, they found traces of it in your blood, you were drugged Alex, so whatever happened, whatever he did, wasn’t your choice”
Alex should feel relieved, he should be able to breathe better, to be able to think more clearly, Henry knows and believes that he didn’t cheat, but the sinking feeling, the thought that is overtaking every coherent thought that Alex should be able to make, Henry knows who it was.
“How - how do you know who…”
“Amy told us” Us. Us. Amy told everyone. Well, at least everyone who matters, shit. His Mom knows. Before Alex can reply “She had to, you know that right, it’s part of her job, keeping you safe” Alex does know that, and he loves Amy for being able to tell them what happened, or at least what she knows happened, because Alex definitely wouldn’t have been able to ever look his Mom, the fucking President, in the eye and tell her what happened, he probably won’t be able to even tell Henry everything that happened, because it all has a light haze over it, most of it feels like a dream, but he knows it happened, that it was real, and that is where the debate wil lie, where his defence will lie.
“Oh.”
“Look, it’s not- please don’t-” Henry’s not sure what he’s trying to say, all he knows is he wants to get rid of the look of shame on Alex’s face. “I love you so much. I need you to know that, this doesn’t change how much I love you, I will love you till the sun expands and the world ends, I will always love you, in this life and the next-” Henry loses track of the declarations of eternal love he makes to Alex, he thinks, he hopes Alex believes him.
Eventually, after several declarations, Alex looks into Henry’s eyes and everything that has happened to Alex, everything that will happen in the coming weeks all falls away and it’s just the two of them, just the two of them in all of creation, not a sound or a whisper just them.
“I will love you forever, in this life and the next” A promise. Said with such certainty that for once it makes Henry believe in reincarnation.
For a short while they sit together, clasping hands as to not drift away, they both make silent promises through the meeting of their eyes, just them, the two of them, forever, no one else, as much as Henry tried to hide it and Alex tried to deny it before that kiss, the kiss that bound them together, at the start of a new year, a new life, with all the trials and tribulations that existence and loving someone so wholeheartedly as they do, can throw at them, they face it together, staring down the challenges and problems as one. One creation, destined to be together, by the gods design, not Henry and Alex but HenryandAlex, forever to be spoken together never to be separated. At least in their minds.
Alex falls asleep, a quiet plea for Henry to stay, to be there when he wakes, how could Henry refuse, he couldn’t be anywhere else other than at his side to hold his hand and watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest, he knows Alex is alive, Alex is awake, and they are together.
For the second time in a short amount of time, Henry makes a demand to the Gods, to whichever are listening, he makes a demand that must be, will be heard-
Fuck Thisbe and Pyramus, he and Alex are getting their happy ending.
–
Things are moving quickly.
Inside Alex’s head hasn’t been quiet in such a long time, he thinks things might be moving too quickly, but he wants to get home, where it’s safe.
It’s been what feels like hours, but is more like days since Alex had been discharged from the hospital. Henry’s hovering round him like he’s a baby learning to walk, Alex pretends to be annoyed but they both know he finds it comforting and endearing to have Henry caring and looking after him. And have him where he can see him most of the time.
But what Alex really doesn’t like, is seeing Henry’s face when he thinks Alex can’t see him, he looks so sad, so hurt, and Alex knows that it isn’t directed at him, but more for him, Alex hasn’t left the house since he came home from the hospital and it’s starting to freak everyone out, not just Henry.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to leave, he wants to walk down the street to the little coffee shop that him and Henry love and they give them sneaky discounts for being ‘gay icons’ as the young barista puts it, so he walked, carefully, to the front door while Henry was in the shower, and he went to open the door, and looked out the window and on the other side of the street-
He wasn’t really there, Alex keeps telling himself that, but he could’ve been, and Alex locked the door, chain across, deadbolt, pulled all the curtains and closed the blinds, he made sure to double, triple checked every door and window, just to make sure, had to make sure, Henry found him staring through a slither in the curtains, out the living window when he came back down, Alex lied and said he saw a cat across the street. Henry didn’t say anything about the way Alex jumped when he called his name, breaking him out of his staring contest with the empty sidewalk outside.
Henry made them tea, and gently persuaded Alex to sit on the sofa, placing his favourite blanket around his shoulders and sitting next to him, the quiet, not as comfortable as before, Henry knows he needs to ask and Alex is waiting for him to ask it.
“Are- are you ok? No that's a stupid question-” Henry wants to take it back, of course Alex isn’t ok, he goes to apologise and move the conversation on to other things-
“I thought I saw him. I thought I saw him across the street…” a quiet voice that is unusual for Alex to use, he needs to talk about it or he feels like he’ll go insane and there is no one he trusts more to talk to about it than Henry. Henry doesn’t interrupt, just nods in Alex’s peripherals to let him know he’s listening.
“You were in the shower, and I went to open the door, I Just wanted to take a step outside, we both know I need to go outside again at some point, but I looked out the window and I thought I saw- and I panicked, I locked the door and I had to check, I had to check everything, to make sure- to make sure he couldn’t- he couldn’t…”
Henry wrapped his arms around him, not crushingly tight but tight enough for Alex to feel it, “shh, it’s ok, you’re safe, he’s never gonna get near you again, I think Amy might actually snap him in half if he even thought about it” Alex let out the tiniest huff of laughter, and it loosened one of the knots inside Henry’s soul.
“I think…” Alex starts after awhile of semi-comfortable silence “I think I should…I mean I can’t be the first, but if I don’t do something I won’t be the last, i don’t really know what to do, or how to do it, i just know I need to do something, before I go even crazier than I already am”
Henry lets it sink in, Alex wants to speak out, wants to speak out against him, and if he does, then it would encourage others to just because Alex is a person in the public eye, it would certainly get traction and journalists attention. He realises he’s probably taken too long to reply when Alex whispers-
“Should I?”
“If you think you should, then I am with you, and I know everyone else will be behind you as well, we’re with you Alex, whatever you want”
He doesn’t use June’s turn of phrase because he thinks it's not the right tone for the situation, but it reverberates around Henry’s head “We are going to ruin that motherfucker's life.”
It’s gonna be a fucking reckoning for Scott Barrett.