Chapter Text
They do go home after that, after Hoseok pops back inside the café to grab their jackets and scarves. Yoongi’s eyes stay glued to the ground while his boyfriend leads him home, hand-in-hand.
Yoongi’s head isn’t spinning anymore, at least. It’s empty, even; still and quiet as he listens to the droning of the television. Hoseok has long fallen asleep behind him, a hand rested on Yoongi’s stomach as they lay back against each other, Yoongi between his legs. It was a quiet evening from the time they got home: Hoseok ordered pizza around five, Yoongi played around mindlessly on his phone. Hoseok was a constant comfort, always wrapped around him in some way, even if it was just his pinky on Yoongi’s.
There’s a soft inhale behind him and Hoseok stirs. The hand on his belly snakes over until Hoseok has his arm wrapped around Yoongi’s middle, who looks up at him.
“Bed,” he asks softly, to which Hoseok only hums. He’s still asleep, mostly. Yoongi’s lips twitch into a smile and he pulls himself out of his boyfriend’s hold (who doesn’t let him go without a displeased noise), grabbing onto his thin wrists and tugging. “Come on, let’s go. Up.”
“If you really loved me,” Hoseok moans, “you’d leave me here.”
“I do love you,” Yoongi replies softly, “but we’re both gonna go get in bed and cuddle and fall asleep.” Hoseok cracks an eye open and Yoongi doesn’t miss the flush that decorates his cheeks then. The Big L Word isn’t something Yoongi drops often, he feels he shows he loves Hoseok enough, feels like it makes it less special if he just throws it around all the time. Every time he says it, though, he catalogues the pretty pink that springs into Hoseok’s cheeks, the way his hands always squeeze a little tighter if they’re linked with Yoongi’s. And now, he locks away the sleepy smile that creeps onto Hoseok’s face. Beautiful.
It doesn’t take much more coaxing (“Just one kiss before we part ways?” Yoongi laughs and tells Hoseok not to be dramatic, but he kisses him anyway) before Hoseok is up, stretching his arms over his head and padding to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Yoongi makes busy with tidying up the living room and locking the front door. He shuts off the television and the lights as he makes his way down the hallway.
Hoseok is still brushing his teeth when Yoongi comes up behind him to hold him around the middle. He places a soft, wet kiss at the base of his neck and leaves his lips there, closing his eyes and breathing in deep. Hoseok puts a hand over Yoongi’s bare arms before leaning forward to spit and rinse out his mouth.
When he leans back up he hums contentedly, swaying a bit and running his hands over Yoongi’s light arms.
“Sleepy?” Yoongi nips at the back of Hoseok’s neck before soothing it with light kisses. Hoseok’s face warms and flushes pink. “Not sleepy?”
“A little bit sleepy,” Yoongi responds quietly. Hoseok pries the arms away from his waist and turns around. He places a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s mouth and wraps him up in a hug. Hoseok’s mouth is soft and pliant against Yoongi’s, his tongue a warm and wet comfort once it slides along his own. When Yoongi’s long fingers make their way into Hoseok’s hair, they begin to move: Hoseok ushers him backwards and Yoongi chuckles a little bit. Hoseok smiles and Yoongi’s lips skim across his teeth. “I can’t kiss you if you’re smiling,” he mumbles as they make their way slowly to the bedroom with clumsy steps.
“Try harder, then,” Hoseok retorts. In one smooth motion he reaches down for the back of Yoongi’s thighs before hoisting him up. Bare legs wrap around his waist and Hoseok carries his boyfriend to the bed, all but throwing him down in the middle once he’s close enough. Yoongi lands with an “oomf!”
“You jerk!” Yoongi forces a scowl onto his face and crosses his arms. Hoseok just laughs and crawls over the male on the bed, limbs caging him on either side. “I’m not kissing you anymore. Goodnight. I’m sleeping. Bye.” Yoongi rolls over, huffing, arms still crossed. Hoseok smacks his shoulder.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I am.” Hoseok lets out an offended gasp.
“If you kiss me I’ll stop doing this.” Yoongi turns his head, eyes narrowed up at Hoseok who is all smiles in the dark of their bedroom. He opens his mouth to ask what, exactly, it is that Hoseok is doing when he feels pressure on his hip and, “Oh my god, you perv, get off of me!” Hoseok drags his crotch over Yoongi’s hip more, laughing way too loud for someone who was just dead to the world not five minutes ago.
“I demand a kiss!” He punctuates each word with a thrust of his hips as Yoongi tries to squirm away. No force on earth could keep a grin off his face at this point. Laughing, Yoongi submits.
“Fine! Fine, just stop humping my leg, you nasty!” Hoseok sits back on Yoongi’s thighs and throws his fists in the air.
“Victory!” Yoongi snorts, reaching up and making grabby hands. Hoseok’s fingers slide in between his and he brings the backs of Yoongi’s hands to his mouth, pressing soft kisses to them before dropping them down to Yoongi’s tummy. Hoseok is still smiling but it’s softer now, his eyes mild and shining in the bits of city lights that filter through their window. “You’re so cute,” he murmurs, squeezing his boyfriend’s hands. Yoongi’s cheeks warm.
“‘m not cute,” he sputters, rolling his eyes.
“Handsome.” Yoongi swallows the lump in his throat and meets Hoseok’s eyes. After a beat of silence he tugs at Hoseok’s hands until he’s cradled around Yoongi again.
“You gonna kiss me or what?” Hoseok licks his lips and Yoongi tilts his chin up.
“Since you asked so nicely, I guess I can indulge you.” You’re the one who fought for one, anyway, Yoongi wants to say, but Hoseok’s mouth ghost over his. He parts his lips, eyelids fluttering to a close as he tips his head closer to Hoseok’s, who pulls away. Yoongi lets out a frustrated huff. Hoseok grins, sly, down at Yoongi before licking a wet stripe across the seam of his lips. Yoongi shivers. It’s quickly followed, though, with Yoongi’s own tongue laving at the corner of Hoseok’s mouth until he’s allowed entrance, until Hoseok has his mouth sealed tightly over Yoongi’s.
Instead of untangling their hands, Hoseok brings them to rest above Yoongi’s head and slots his body against his boyfriends, tilting his head to lick into his mouth. Yoongi sighs when he feels Hoseok press the flat planes of their hips tightly together. He brings his legs up then, pressing on either side of Hoseok’s hips.
He tugs at their hands and Hoseok lifts his head up after releasing his hold between Yoongi’s fingers.
“You okay,” he asks in a whisper. Yoongi nods.
“Just wanna hold you, is all,” he says back quietly. Hoseok lets out a rush of breath, feeling his chest swell. He dips his head down to fit next to Yoongi’s neck as thin arms wind around his middle. There’s movements from Hoseok’s hips, although slight. It’s the first time they’ve been this intimate since Yoongi’s come out. Part of him had been nervous about their sex life afterwards (would Hoseok feel different? Would he feel different?), while part of him craved Hoseok’s familiar touch.
Here, now, though he feels no semblance of hesitation at all. Here, now, he feels warm and soft and wanted. Hoseok is a comforting weight atop him, and the languid rolls of his body kindling heat in his core.
Yoongi’s hands snake down Hoseok’s back to squeeze at his ass through the thick material of his sweatpants and Hoseok sighs between their mouths. Hoseok ruts against him, harder now, and Yoongi can feel warmth pooling how in his own belly, pooling between his thighs. His fingers, kneading, move from Hoseok’s ass to tug at the waistband of his boyfriend’s sweats. Hoseok lifts his head up, their mouths separating with a wet click.
Yoongi misses what he says the first time, eyes trained on the wet swell of Hoseok’s lips, focused on the hazy expression on his face.
“Can I?” Yoongi blinks and his head feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton.
“Wha?”
“Can I take care of you?” Hoseok’s voice is still quiet, but it’s breathless now, too. Yoongi feels a throb of arousal between his legs and he bites down on his lower lip, nodding. Hoseok’s reaction is instant, but not desperate. He drags his body down, down, down the expanse of Yoongi’s front until he’s slid off the bed, on his knees. Yoongi lifts up his head, quizzical, before he’s tugged toward the end of the bed with Hoseok, back still flat against it but legs now dangling off the edge. Hoseok’s smile is devilish and Yoongi suddenly feels nervous.
Hoseok leans forward, connecting his lips with the inside of his boyfriend’s knees, tan fingers skirting into the bottom of his shorts. Yoongi sighs, head lolling back as Hoseok peppers soft kisses up the inside of his thighs. His hands trail higher until he feels deft fingers sliding along the edges of his underwear, feather-light.
His shorts are pushed up as much as they go, bunching in the creases of his thighs. Hoseok’s breath ghosts over the creamy expanses of the soft inner corner of his thigh, a warm tickle. Yoongi feels himself tense when there’s a blip of wetness as Hoseok laves his tongue at the juncture of his hip and thigh.
Growing impatient, Yoongi hooks his fingers into the band of his shorts, lifting his hips and tugging. Hoseok makes a noise that sounds a bit like a whine.
“Can it,” he rasps out, “I know you’re just as impatient as I am.” Hoseok laughs breathlessly and Yoongi tugs down his underwear, too. Hoseok helps him slide the garments down past his knees, his ankles, and tosses them somewhere else in the room.
It’s always a strange feeling, spreading out before someone. Even if it’s Hoseok, after all these years. Yoongi’s thighs instinctively close together and Hoseok presses a kiss to either of his knees. Gently, he pushes them open and lets out a soft sigh at the sight of Yoongi before him, pretty and pink.
One hand trails up Yoongi’s thigh, squeezing and kneading gently while he leans forward to kiss at the fatty mound of his mons pubis, nuzzling into Yoongi’s lower tummy. His other hand slides upward along the inside of his thigh, fingers brushing over his lips, outside and then softly in. Yoongi sucks in a breath, holding it as he waits.
Hoseok’s thumb slides gently over him, bottom to top and when they pass over his clit a rush of breath leaves Yoongi’s lungs. His fingers twitch for something to grab onto. Wet, sucking kisses pass from over his pubic mound to the lips between his legs. He sucks a wet kiss to either of them before slipping his tongue between them, just a light passage beneath his clit.
Yoongi lets out a whine of his boyfriend’s name, hips bucking impatiently forward. Hoseok grins, hoisting Yoongi’s thighs onto his shoulders and leaning forward. It folds his legs upwards, spreads him wider and Hoseok dips his face down, tongue drawing a rough pattern over the sensitive bud. Yoongi’s legs fall open as wide as they can this way and his hands fly into Hoseok’s hair.
All of his tension, all of his stress and his fear and his sadness is driven away by Hoseok’s tongue. With every swipe over him he feels an overwhelming sense of fondness and affection from this man, growing stronger as the warm bundle in his belly grows even hotter.
The wet noises Hoseok’s mouth makes against him have Yoongi writhing almost as much as the feeling does. When his boyfriend drags his tongue over him, a bit slower than his set tempo, he lets out a soft groan of appreciation and Hoseok can’t help but reply with a moan of his own. His fingers knead softly against Hoseok’s scalp, twisting dark, downy strands in his fingers.
“Hobi,” he whines softly, hips canting a bit at a particularly hard suck Hoseok takes on his clit. Hoseok sighs softly through his nose, tongue dipping inside of him and curling. “Hobi.”
“Yes, baby?” Hoseok’s eyes flutter to a close and his tongue zig-zags along his seam.
“Want you,” he sighs, head falling to the side. He tugs on Hoseok’s hair in his best attempt to pull him up but Hoseok doesn’t move. Instead he tilts his head to the side, sealing his lips in a sucking kiss over Yoongi’s clit. “Inside. Please, Hobi, please.”
Yoongi isn’t one for dirty talk, but if there’s anything that will make Hoseok’s dick as hard as a diamond, it’s dirty talk. “I’m bad at it,” he had told Hoseok way back. Hoseok had just given him an incredulous look and responded with, “seriously? Have you even listened to yourself?”
“This is all about you, baby,” Hoseok mumbles. When he removes his mouth, he replaces it with his fingers. They rub softly over his sensitive clit before snaking down to slip inside of him. He begins with two, and it hurts a bit, but the wet noises Hoseok’s fingers make as they slide back out of him make up for it. Yoongi can’t help his hips stuttering away from the sting as he adjusts but Hoseok’s tongue back on his pussy make it feel better.
And then, Hoseok’s fingers curl just as he sucks, hard, on Yoongi’s clit and god he hopes the neighbors are asleep. His fingers tighten too much in Hoseok’s hair, his knuckles turning a sharp white when Hoseok does it again. Yoongi’s hips buck against Hoseok’s face and if he were in his right mind he would apologize. However, he’s fairly certain he’s currently experiencing the second coming of Christ and is at more than just a loss for words.
“Ohmgoddothatagain.” If Yoongi were able to do anything but squeeze at Hoseok’s scalp he would have smacked his boyfriend right on the head, hearing him chuckle a bit against his warmth. Yoongi rolls his hips impatiently when Hoseok doesn’t immediately comply, but any further complaints are cut off when he gasps at another drag of Hoseok’s fingers over his g-spot. He groans again. It’s so warm, his skin is burning, sweat collects at his hairline and Yoongi is hyper-aware of the scratch of his tee on his skin, aware of the sweat building at the base of his neck, the smell of his sex, heavy and wet in the air of their bedroom.
Hoseok eventually does do it again and Yoongi all but screams as he repeats the motion a third time, coaxing out moans from deep in the back of his throat. He’s tightly wound, muscles straining and quaking and he feels full to bursting.
Hoseok’s tongue moves with fervor now, and his fingers haven’t stopped stroking inside of him. Yoongi’s breath comes in quick hiccups, chest rising and falling rapidly as his back arches and he squirms. Hoseok doesn’t have any problems with keeping his mouth stuck firmly between Yoongi’s legs and thank god for it. Head tossed back, hair splayed around him like a halo, Yoongi chant’s his boyfriend’s name like a mantra. He sends the only prayer he knows how to whatever God is listening, whatever God has blessed his boyfriend with such a talented tongue. His orgasm creeps up on him, a dam overflowing and washing from his head to his toes.
Yoongi curls forward, hands cradling the back of Hoseok’s hair as his eyes screw shut and his thighs clamp on the side of his head. The fingers of Hoseok’s free hand dig into Yoongi’s bare thigh and he breathes heavily as he licks and sucks and kisses Yoongi’s pussy through his orgasm. Yoongi pants and whines while it pulses through him through him, at a loss for breath.
Flattening his tongue, Hoseok licks a slow stripe up the length of Yoongi’s heat, wetness collecting on his tongue. Yoongi flinches away, sensitive, when his tongue grazes his clit. His fingers slide from Hoseok’s hair when he draws back. Quickly, Hoseok pulls himself back up onto the bed and looms over Yoongi. A hand scrambles into the waist of his sweats, grabbing firmly around his cock while the other clenches the bedsheets besides Yoongi’s head.
Hoseok lets out a choked moan, fisting roughly at himself while Yoongi still collects his bearings. The intensity of his orgasm has left him feeling much like a jellyfish on dry land. His ears ring and his eyes flutter open, staring fondly at Hoseok’s face. His lips are parted, tips of his teeth poking out and Yoongi wants nothing more than to run his tongue over them. But that requires movement, something he is currently able to do very little of.
Biting down on his lower lip, Yoongi grabs gingerly at the hem of his shirt, pulling it slowly up. The motion catches Hoseok’s eye and he follows the material up, up, up until Yoongi is pulling it away to expose his tummy and chest. Hoseok outright groans and his fist stutters. Yoongi writhes a little, arching his back and gyrating his naked hips. Hoseok’s eyes lock with his and Yoongi releases his hold on his lower lip, tongue catching between his teeth.
Hooded eyes stay locked with Hoseok’s and it only takes him one, two, three more pumps before Hoseok is coming. Yoongi’s stomach twitches with the feeling of warm cum striping it and he sighs while Hoseok jerks himself through his orgasm, some landing on his breasts but most staying on his stomach.
****
“Good,” he asks softly when Hoseok’s head rolls forward. He turns his head, nosing the damp hair at his temples. Hoseok, panting, nods. Yoongi hums and his eyes slip to a close.
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It’s too god damn early, if anyone asks him. Yoongi tunes out the incessant vibrating the first round, and the second, and the third, but by the fourth it’s Hoseok who leans over Yoongi and grabs the device, plopping it down on the pillow next to Yoongi’s head.
“‘m sleeping,” Hoseok grumbles before cocooning himself in the covers. “Answer it.” Yoongi answers with a growl of his own, squinting at the screen. Three missed calls from Seokjin. It’s eight in the fucking morning. With a sigh, Yoongi’s head drops back down onto his pillow roughly and he blindly unlocks his phone.
“Don’t talk in here,” Hoseok whines beside him. “Too loud.”
“Well, I’m cozy,” Yoongi retorts. He searches for Hoseok’s feet with his own, basking in the shriek that follows his cold toes tracing his boyfriend’s calves. The line rings and Seokjin picks up on the second ring:
“You awake?”
“Unfortunately.” Yoongi scrubs a hand over his face. “It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday. Are you okay? If you’re not dead, then there’s no reason for you to call this early.” Seokjin laughs on the other line.
“Can you be dressed and ready to leave your apartment in twenty minutes? I’m on my way over.”
That wakes Yoongi up a bit more. Just a bit.
“Yoongi, shut up.” Yoongi grabs a pillow and slams it against Hoseok’s side. When he’s hit, he lets out a soft “oof.” He hears Seokjin chuckle in his ear.
“Yeah, sure.”
Seokjin arrives eighteen minutes after they end the phone call. Yoongi’s dressed, his teeth are brushed, his hair stuffed under a beanie, but he’s not ready. His mind is still cozy, tucked in with his boyfriend as he snoozes. He almost whines when he hears the knock on the door, calling him away from Hoseok’s warm arms.
Seokjin meets him with a wide grin that meets his eyes. Yoongi swallows, nodding his head in a greeting as he grabs his keys and stuffs them into his pockets, closing the door behind him with a click. They make their way down, out to the parking lot of Yoongi’s apartment building, and it isn’t until they’re both in the car, engine started, that Yoongi asks where they’re going.
“Somewhere,” Seokjin chimes and Yoongi turns to face the window, rolling his eyes. “Nowhere special, really. Just wanted to talk.” Yoongi’s stomach drops, recalling the incident a few days ago. He cradles his chin in his hand and stares out the window, not responding. With every soft exhale through his nose, the window fogs up in two spots.
Seokjin doesn’t say anymore and they drive. And drive. And they drive a little bit more. It feels like at least half an hour has gone by, but it’s the tension that makes fifteen minutes feel like double the time it actually is. Yoongi’s eyes flutter nervously around the vehicle and he fidgets in his seat.
“Hoseok texted me, after.” Seokjin’s voice is quiet and Yoongi flinches. His head dips down and he faces his lap, fingers twisting together nervously. “Not without me prompting him first, though. It took me hours to get anything out of him.” Yoongi licks his lips.
Ten more minutes of silence, and they’re pulling into a nearly empty parking lot. They’re at a park, but it’s mostly empty (probably due to the fact that one, it’s cold and two, it’s fucking cold). The silence that hangs in the air makes Yoongi fidget in his seat and he stares at the dash in front of him.
“Yoongi.” Seokjin’s voice almost has him flinching and his gaze flickers down to his lap. “Yoongi,” Seokjin says again, so soft. The rustle of fabric as he leans forward is deafening. ”When I said that I loved you, you know that I meant it- I mean it.” Yoongi swallows, nods, feels the soft touch of Seokjin’s fingers on his chin to turn him towards him. For a moment Yoongi’s eyes flicker anywhere but to Seokjin’s. His friend trails a hand down to rest on his shoulder and Yoongi finally meets Seokjin’s warm, soft eyes. His chest tightens.
“You don’t need to be scared, not of us, Yoongi.” Seokjin smiles and squeezes his shoulder lightly. Yoongi nods minutely. He feels more than just a tiny bit uncomfortable, not really knowing what to say. “Anything you need, let all of us know. We all want to try- what would be the point if you weren’t happy around us, your friends,” he asks with a breathy laugh. A corner of Yoongi’s mouth tilts up, almost a smile.
He’ll be okay, he thinks.
Seokjin’s encouragements are something small, but something he needs. His fears haven’t quite melted away, even though Seokjin continues to reassure him even after they’ve left the parking lot and gone to get coffee, even after he’s formally come out to the rest of the gang. Days, weeks, months go by and he still feels anxieties creep up from deep in the pit of his stomach and crawl into his throat, suffocating him.
Sometimes they’re about his friends. Sometimes his coworkers. They’re always the worst, though, when he feels anxiety about Hoseok.
He wonders if there will ever be a day where he doesn’t feel like Hoseok might not be home when he walks into the apartment; if there will ever be a day he feels truly comfortable in his own skin. As much as Hoseok encourages him with soft touches and tender words, he still can’t escape the hands that feel like they’re this close to squeezing around his throat.
Hoseok does his best to help, on his bad days. On the days he can’t stand to think too much, Hoseok will give him light kisses on the top of his head, tell him how handsome and hardworking he is, tell him that no matter what, no matter what, he’ll love him forever.
Forever is a long time to feel like this, Yoongi thinks on his bad days, with Hoseok asleep in his lap.
“I’ll still wait,” Hoseok tells him, “on your good days and your bad days. I’ll always wait.”