Chapter Text
Chapter 17
The three young men stood around silently in the kitchen as the manager shut the door. Finally, Ohm looked at his Little One and reached for his hand. "Well, that was interesting." He glanced at the watched on his wrist. "Wow! No wonder I feel dead. It's 5:30 a.m." He looked directly at Boun and continued, "We don't have to stay. That was your manager, not mine."
Fluke tugged his hand gently. "No, I think we should." He too, looked at Boun. "I think you should sleep with Prem tonight instead of on the couch."
"But," Boun started, "He doesn't want me."
"Sleep!" Fluke reached out and hit his arm. "Sleep! Are you twelve?" He sighed. "Prem is hurting. He needs some comforting."
"And if he kicks me out?" Boun chewed on his lip. "Sleep on the floor?"
"You are twelve, all right." Fluke nodded decisively. "You don't know a thing about men."
Boun looked at Ohm, helplessly. Ohm lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "When it comes to being happy, I leave it up to Fluke. I admit to being hidebound. I LIKE living in a bubble." His stern look dropped for a moment, features softening as he looked at Fluke. "I am willing to be taught, not just teach."
Fluke, flushing, tugged his hand free. "What did you EVER teach me." He murmured before walking two steps towards Boun and putting his hand on his bicep. "It's your call. It wouldn't take a taxi long to arrive."
"No, I will take your advice." Boun decided.
"Advice on what?" Prem asked wearily, walking into the kitchen and heading over to the fridge. He looked around for a bottle of water and there wasn't any, only orange juice. He shuddered. "Is there no more water?"
"Sorry, I took the last one. There is some left. You want it?" Boun held it out.
Prem nodded and took it. "So? What advice are you taking?" He pulled out the stool and sat down as he raised the bottle. His eyes were expectant, despite his pale face.
Answering for all three, it was Fluke who replied. "On whether we stay the night or not. Robin told us to crash here since it was so late."
"That seems reasonable." Prem finished the water. "The bathroom is open if you want to shower." He gave a nod. "I am so tired. I'm off to sleep." He dragged himself from the room.
"I would like to shower, if you don't mind." Fluke said, knowing the bathroom was off the bedroom.
"Go ahead. I'll pull out some clothes for you two." Boun replied. "I'm not sure Ohm will fit much of mine, but I have some shorts that will work." He smiled, thinking of Fluke in Prem's clothes. "You'll look like a lost kitten in all of our clothes, Fluke."
Fluke hit him again while Ohm laughed aloud.
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Prem was already asleep by the time Boun crawled into bed. He listened to the water run, the soft rumble of voices and he too, slowly drifted asleep.
At some point, he became aware of Prem, clinging to him. He had wrapped himself around him, his head was resting on his chest, with his leg over his waist, and his foot intertwined with his. He was boiling hot due to forgetting to put the aircon on.
He was also aroused. Now what to do? He had to leave and fast. Carefully, he began to extract himself from the entanglement of limbs.
As he moved the tightly wrapped arms, Prem stirred and held his chest even tighter. "Don't go." He muttered, "Don't leave me alone."
Boun lay still, looking down at his face in the morning light. Turning his head, he saw that they had about three hours of sleep. Definitely not enough, definitely not enough to keep his defences up. He drew in a deep breath and and let it out slowly. Finally, he shifted, trying to hide his problem.
It was his problem, after all, not Prem's. Prem only wanted comfort. If he loved him as much as he kept saying, he should be able to give it without sex. Once he had his erection safely away from Prem's lower body, he wrapped his arms around Prem and sighed again. He could do this. He could be his strength.
"You think I'm stupid?" Prem said, and shifted closer, pushing himself tight against Boun. The pressure made him groan. Boun opened his eyes and Prem didn't look away. "You think I don't know?"
"Know what?" Boun lowered his lids, wishing he hadn't listened to those two. He didn't have any strength left to hear the words "no" or "stop" today. There WAS a different type of comfort in physical touch, Boun knew, but he didn't know if Prem had the maturity to understand the difference.
He wouldn't be used. He wouldn't use Prem either. He had his hand to take the edge off. Using force, Boun tried to put more distance between them. Prem wouldn't let him. Instead, he repeated, "I know." And then ground his hips against his erection
Weakly, almost pleading with him, Boun asked, "Why now?" Why after all the shit that went down? Why after all the running away? Why after all the games? Everything he wanted to say, was put with feeling into those two words. Months and months of longing in two words.
Prem raised both his hands and cupped both of Boun's cheeks. He looked long into his eyes before replying. "You're not them. You are you. You stopped when I asked, you stay when I ask, you come when I need you." He reached up and pressed a kiss on his lips, light and chaste. "You care for me."
He trailed his fingers down his face, pressing his fingers against his lips, preventing Boun from speaking. "You feed me, protect me, even when I don't deserve it." Prem buried his head into his chest but kept speaking. "I don't feel conflicted any longer. I know this is HOW I feel, not my damn character."
He ground his hips against Boun's groin again, showing he was hard as well. "I'm tired of denying myself. You showed me what a man should be, yesterday, when you stood beside me even knowing what that asshole had done for years. I'm not proud of myself or my past."
"Are you sure?" Boun lifted his chin, forcing him to look him deeply in the eyes. "We don't need to do anything. All I ever wanted was to talk, to find out what the fuck was going on. We're doing that."
"Yes." He pushed hard and Boun offered no resistance. It was gone. This was Prem's choice. His decision, and not one he could fight as he slid his slim body over his more muscular one. As their lips met in a deeper, more intimate kiss, he found his hands sliding up under the tee shirt Prem wore.
Boun's hands touched Prem's bare back and it was his turn to groan. His back arched under his touch and Boun spared a thought at how much experience his partner really had... but his lips were being attacked, almost devoured. As he fought back another moan, it was then he remembered they were not alone.
"Fuck! Prem, we're not alone. Fluke and Ohm are sleeping on the couch!" He whispered.
"It's taken me too much courage to get too this point." Prem licked his neck, then bit. "No turning back now."
Chapter 18
Those words echoed inside Boun's head...
I want to try everything! I want to try everything!
Finally! It was as if the ties that bound him tightly had snapped and he was set free. Free to touch, free to love Prem as he wished. Lightly his hands roamed, lightly he tasted, finally running his tongue over formerly forbidden skin.
Prem arched beneath his touch, so beautifully responsive, fully a part of it until he made a fatal mistake.
He was greedy.
"Stop!" His hands stilled on his anus. "Stop!" He heard Prem whisper shakily. "I don't think I can do this after all."
Through his haze of desire, Boun could feel the tremble of his body. "Shh, it's fine, Baby, it's fine." Carefully, he moved his hands up to his back and pulled the trembling Prem to his chest, moving into a cuddling position. This was always a safe position. It was a position Prem moved naturally into too.
He did now, too.
Prem curled into his arms as if he belonged there. Boun felt dampness on his chest. "I don't know why I can't do this. I WANT to do this. I NEED to do this. I WANT you."
Boun rubbed his back in slow circles, honestly at a loss. If he wanted him, needed him as much as he did, then what was the problem? "It's fine, Prem. All I ever wanted was to know how you feel. We can work out all other problems together."
A fist hit his chest. "It's not fine." He was hit again, causing his breath to 'oof' out softly. "I can't keep leaving you hard and hanging. It's not fair to either of us." Prem's tone changed, dropping until Boun could hardly hear him. "Do you want me to finish you off in my mouth?"
His hands stilled. Did Prem really believe that everything sex was boiled down to intercourse? Carefully, gently, "Prem," His hands were back to soothing, running slowly on his bare back. It was so difficult to ignore the miles of bare skin contact, but damn it, he WAS going to do it.
His baby needed him more now than ever. They were finally communicating!
"Prem," Boun started again, "I thought you said you weren't a virgin." There, he felt proud of himself. That's usually a blow to the male pride to get them talking.
Eyes closed, safe in his arms, Prem nodded. "I'm not, if you consider all those one night stands that manager of mine set me up for." He suddenly shuddered. "So I show up, stick my cock in, grunt and leave."
Boun's eyes popped open. Wide open. "What did you say?"
Embarrassed, Prem muttered, "You heard me. I'm not repeating myself." His fingers started to draw patterns on Boun's muscular chest. "You confused me. It felt right to kiss you. I never wanted to stop, the first time I kissed you." He took a deep breath in and let the warm air blow over his nipples.
Boun now understood - Prem really was naïve. It sunk in that Prem was still talking and he was missing it. He tried to listen but had to interrupt. "Prem, is this why you thought you were mixing up with your character? Because of how Win and Team feel?"
"Partly." Prem admitted. "My manager had me go out with a few dates with guys too, you know." Prem lifted his left shoulder in a half shrug, all that was manageable in the cuddle. "For the longest time, I thought I wasn't attracted to anyone. I KNEW I was attractive, but didn't understand why I found sex repulsive."
His temper got the better of him. Boun actually snapped. "Prem?" His hands were trembling now. "How OLD were you?"
There was that innocence again. Boun could feel it radiating in waves. "How old was I what?"
"How old were you when you met your manager? How old were you when he set you up on dates? Where is the damn contract?" He was trying hard to hold back his anger. Really hard.
"Boun? Is something wrong?" Prem placed his hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat race. He put his ear over it, and listened. "Did I do something wrong?"
Hissing, Boun whispered, "Never. Can you just answer my questions?"
Reassured, despite the odd questions, Prem nodded, still against his chest. "My manager approached Mum when I was eleven, so I guess that's when the contract was signed. I don't know for sure, but there were lots of classes before that." He paused to glance up at Boun, meeting his eyes.
Their eyes held as Prem finished. "Acting lessons, deportment, speech, and finishing my studies. Then the manager said I needed to know how to handle both sexes." There was that small half shrug again. "Every time I questioned something, Mum would say, 'You're going to be a star.' and go buy a new pair of shoes or a purse."
Boun was scared, really scared but he needed to know. "Did he touch you - there?"
Prem pushed off of Boun angrily. "Never! How can you even ask that?"
As relief flooded through him, he looked at Prem and saw that he had shrunk to half his size, as if he was trying to disappear again. "You're lying." Boun pulled him forcefully back into his embrace and held him. "Tell me the truth. Talk to me, I don't judge - ever."
Prem shook his head, slowly. "I am telling the truth. The manager never touched me." His eyes drifted close. "I am not stupid, Boun. I know you all think I am, but he never hurt me, at least not physically." He sighed. "He's told me I'm too stupid to exist, or only good to fuck people."
"And did you?" Boun pushed, needing to heal Prem. "Did you fuck people to make money for him?"
Angry, hurt and disgusted by all of this, by his Daddy Boun pushing on his wounds, Prem snapped. He started to hit him, tears rolling down his face. "Yes, yes I did. Do you think I had any choice? Both of them were bigger and stronger than me! Both of them hurt me!" He screamed, loudly, not caring who heard him.
"What do you know, Mr. Perfect?" Prem said wearily, temper tantrum gone. "Your life has been perfect."
Nude, he stood up and walked to the bathroom to shower, leaving a seething Boun on the bed, wondering multiple things.
"Boun? Boun?" Ohm called gently from the doorway. When he didn't even look up, Fluke who stood behind, gave him a push. Stumbling in, Ohm walked over, grabbing the discarded shorts from the floor. "Boun, get dressed. Fluke has coffee made."
Raising his head, Boun nodded and took the shorts from Ohm. "Thanks. I guess you heard."
"Mmm. Shall we talk over coffee?" Ohm replied, turning and walking out of the bedroom.
"I'm going to fucking kill his manager for grooming him!" Boun hissed, drawing up the shorts.
Ohm stopped shy of leaving, hearing Boun's words. "No, you're not. The law will get even. We need to figure out who the second person was or were YOU too stupid to hear that there were two people hurting him?"
"Oh fuck!" Boun dropped back on the bed, rubbing his face. "Ohm, do you think it's possible for us to have a healthy, loving relationship?"
Shrugging, it was Fluke who responded, peeking around the large block named Ohm. "Only if we keep it away from your rabid fans. If the fans find out any of this before you heal Prem..." He giggled and winked. "It's too deep a problem before caffeine! Come have coffee!
Chapter 19
Prem curled up in the shower and cried. He had failed once again. Why was he a failure?
Slowly he stood up and turned off the water. He reached for a towel and looked in the mirror and as he did that, it was déjà vu. There was a strong feeling of doing this exact same thing, with someone else.
But... he hadn't ever told Boun that he wanted to go all the way before! So why could he hear himself saying that it was okay in his head and then crying in the shower afterwards?
As Prem slowly towel dried his hair, watching himself in the mirror, it wasn't his hands on the towel, but someone else's. Someone taller, stronger...
A deeper voice, telling him to stop crying.
Prem's eyes fluttered as memories came flooding back and he started to scream uncontrollably. His body trembled and he fell to the floor, curling up into a small ball, pushed back into a corner, which happened to be the wet shower. Whimpering and crying, Prem no longer knew what day it was, or even when it was.
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Fluke gently set the coffee in front of Boun. When he didn't immediately take it, he pushed the cup forward. "Drink. You'll feel better with a boost of caffiene."
"That and a bit of chat." Ohm added, taking a sip from his own glass. He was perched on one of the high stools at the counter. "We already know that the night, or rather, morning didn't end well." He pursed his lips, raised one eyebrow and tried to remain neutral, no matter how nosy he knew his little one wanted him to be.
Wearily, Boun reached for the hot coffee. "Then, you already know everything. Prem is back to the same old shit of push and pull." The coffee splashed over his hand as he burned his tongue. "Fuck! That's hot!"
Fluke quickly ran for a towel, running under cold water. Just then, they heard the loud screams from the bathroom. All of them exchanged glances and Boun swore again. "I think it's his goal in life to drive me insane.
Coffee spilled on the floor as he bumped the table in his rush to leave. Ohm, with his bare feet, slid on the wet floor, barely keeping his balance as he rushed after them.
It was Fluke who reached the bathroom first. Prem had locked the door, which was very unusual. He rattled the handle, calling out frantically, "Prem? Prem? Can you hear me? Please, open the door, it's me, Fluke."
Ohm could hear how freaked out Fluke was becoming. "Do you have the key to the door?" Turning to Boun, he asked quietly as his little one continued to plead through that damn door. The only response was low wails and the constant sound of crying.
"Already on it." Boun was. It wasn't the first time Prem had a breakdown in the bathroom recently. It was the first time he hadn't opened the door when asked. Boun was shaking internally. Something had snapped inside Prem this morning. He knew it.
He just didn't want to face it. He thought, no, he wanted to believe that when Prem said he wanted to try everything, he was healing. How wrong he was...
His eyes fell on the key at the back of the drawer by the bed, pushed there by their early morning activities. The lube and condoms were now at the front of the drawer instead of neatly at the back. Boun shrugged and left the drawer open. It didn't matter. They were all sexually active in THIS room anyway.
"Move," He said, pushing the now frantic Fluke out of the way, brandishing the key in his hand. Boun inserted the key into the door and turned it, unlocking it. The three of them stared into the bathroom and saw Prem, dressed in only two towels, one slung low around his hips, the other covering his hair, curled up almost into a fetus position, against the corner of the shower.
His hands were up over his ears, his eyes were wide and he alternated between making this horrible, high pitched crying/keening sound and the tears flowed. Snot ran down from his nose to drip over his chest. He trembled like a leaf.
"Fuck me!" Whispered Ohm, "What in the fucking hell did you do to him, Boun?"
Since Ohm was standing behind him, being tall enough to peer over his head, Boun shot his elbow hard into his stomach. Really hard.
"You fucking asshole! I love him! Do you think I'd do that!" He elbowed him again, before Ohm could move out of the way, angry at his words. "I didn't do that!"
"Ohm," Fluke said, so softly, that they both almost missed it. "Boun didn't do anything on purpose." He turned and slid carefully in front of Boun and gave him a hug, a big tight one. "You need to listen to me, carefully. It's important."
Boun's eyes were wide, flickering between Prem trembling and crying and calm Fluke. Fluke squeezed him tighter. "Not yet, Listen to me first, Boun. I've seen this before. It's a PTSD* attack. Do you know what PTSD is?"
Both Boun and Ohm shook their heads. Fluke drew in his breath and blew it out softly. "Then you get the cliff notes now. We don't have time for anything else because Prem needs us. But you need to know what you're dealing with first. In a nutshell, it's full name is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Any victim of a very stressful incident can develop it and will have it for life."
Boun looked at Prem again. "For life?"
Fluke nodded. "Yes, for life. Now, let's go snap your baby out of his crying jag and then tuck him back into bed. We then need to see what triggered it." He glanced at Boun. "You better hope it wasn't sex because I highly doubt you two will ever fuck if it was."
"Fuck off, Fluke. He was fine up to a certain point and I stopped when he did. Besides, he didn't freak out in the bedroom, he freaked out here, alone. Wanna tell me why?" Boun resisted punching the little man's face in. There was so much going on, again, that he didn't understand.
He watched Fluke walk over to Prem and try and move one of his hands. Prem didn't even notice his touch. He shrugged. "Boun, we need to shock him, or we call an ambulance. I think getting the EMT's will take too long, plus it may attract attention."
"So?" Boun challenged, "What is your suggestion then?"
Shrugging, with a depreciating smile, Fluke asked, "Do you want to slap him or shall I?"
Ohm burst out laughing at the look on Boun's face.
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*PTSD or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder is defined as is a natural emotional response to frightening or dangerous experiences that involve actual or threatened serious harm to oneself or others. However, for some people, the thoughts or memories of these events seriously affect their lives, long after any real danger has passed.
The illness was first discovered and identified as "shell shocked" after returning soldiers from WW1 were unable to return to healthy lives after active duty. Since then, with different therapy and drugs, many people are able to lead normal lives, however, PTSD is always a part of their life and usually with the help of therapy, the person is trained to reduce stress and remove triggers to avoid relapses.
There is NO way to stop an episode. I am taking creative license by using physical stimulant (the slap) in my story. Please be understanding that this WOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE IN A REAL WORLD SITUATION.
Chapter 20
Everything came crashing down at one, like a jumble. The first thing Prem noticed was the cold.
Cold tiles, cold skin... so cold, he was shivering from it. He could hear his teeth chattering it.
His eyes hurt to open them. How long had he cried this time for them to be swollen shut? Against the bright light, he carefully pried open the right eye, then the left and blinked a few times to lubricate, grimacing as his cheek hurt. He closed his eyes again, it just hurt to much, causing a pounding headache.
"Damn," He muttered, "I hurt." Prem never expected anyone to answer. Every other time something like this had happened, he came to alone. His eyes still hurt, as did the rest of him, so he stayed put, sighing as the cold made him sleepy. His chin drooped. No one would care...
"Fuck, Prem, I swear..."
Why was he suddenly warm? Was he dreaming again? Was he finally going to the afterlife? Breathing in, Prem caught a sniff of the most comforting scent and his head followed it. He snuggled in to in, rubbing against it the way a cat would, chasing the warmth. "Nice." His eyes stayed firmly closed. The angels murmured in the background as he floated away into dreamland.
"Boun, get him into bed." Fluke became the director of the little play, having seen some of the episodes of the "actors" from his very first management company. He only looked innocent. He had more experience in his right foot than the other two actors combined. "We need to warm him gently or he will get hypothermia."
"How is that possible in Thailand?" Ohm questioned, wonder in his voice.
"How are you so stupid sometimes?" Fluke snapped back. "It was fucking cold in that bathroom and I'm sure that was cold water he was under. Prem is freezing right now. Touch him if you don't believe me!"
"I don't mind being called ignorant, Fluke, but don't call me stupid." Ohm snapped back. "I always learn from you." He turned his back on the small dictator. "I'll sleep next to Prem, Boun. I am the biggest body here."
Boun nodded. "He needs some clothes first. Just give me a moment." He covered his nude body and grabbed a sweat suit from the closet. "Can you help me dress him?" Ohm nodded and together they dressed him and then, they lay under the covers, sandwiching Prem, who still shook violently.
Prem, somehow, even in his sleep could smell that scent that was his personal angel. He rolled on his side and wrapped his arms around him, spooning him tightly.
Ohm laughed softly. "Boun, if this boy doesn't love you, I'll skip my dinner for a week."
"I don't think it's a matter of love anymore, Ohm." Boun whispered, feeling his arms trapped between Ohm and Prem, as well as the weight of Ohm's arm on his waist. "I think it's Prem's past. How do we free him from his demons?"
Fluke who had disappeared, now reappeared bearing the electric kettle and a tray. On it was mugs, several types of tea and a flask of boiled water as well as the full kettle. He set it down on the night stand and looked around for a outlet. "Where is the outlet?"
"In the headboard." Each word felt like it was being dragged from him, the heat was oppressive, the warmth weaving through his bones as Prem's shivering disappeared and his breathing evened out.
It was like Fluke just understood, too. "This is important, Boun!" A soft smile slipped across his face as he pictured his small foot stamping on the thick carpet that muffled all sound. "Boun, are you listening? Ohm, remember this: Prem is severely dehydrated. As soon as he wakes, have him drink the cold tea, and lots of it. I brought the kettle in case he wants hot tea, but the cold tea is better."
Ohm lifted his head and sighed. "Get into the bed with us, Little One?"
"Not a chance, lover." There was a tone that Boun didn't understand and he didn't WANT too, either. Fluke gave a twirl and flounced to the door. "I'll be on the couch, playing games on my phone, if you need me."
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It was the noise that woke them from the puppy cuddle on the bed. Prem had again, tangled his arms and legs with Boun, wrapping him up in a knot, leaving the long, tall Ohm the rest of the bed.
Ohm, raising his head slightly, looked over to see who else was awake and caught the eye of Boun. "Should we see what's going on?"
Shaking his head, Boun sighed. "No. If Fluke needs us, he will call. Let Prem sleep longer." Prem shifted in his arms, clinging to him tighter. He wrapped his arms around him, and sighed again. "I wonder what's going on though?"
"I can go?" Ohm offered. "It doesn't look like you two need me anymore." His eyebrow raised slightly. Boun wondered if he knew he did it or if it was deliberate. With his deadpan look, right now, he wanted to punch him, but didn't have the extra energy.
"Forget it, Ohm. Fluke will let us know if it's important." He lay there listening to the rise and fall of the voices from the common room.
It didn't take long before the door burst open and and a very angry Fluke burst in. "If you're not awake, wake up." You could hear the grinding of his teeth. "Boun, your manager brought Detective Chai back to interview Prem since he missed his interview last night. I tried to stall but there is no way to stonewall those two when the gang up on a person."
Ohm burst into laughter at the pout on Fluke's face. "Little one, you're too cute right now."
"Shut it." Fluke muttered, flushing slightly at the compliment in front of Boun. "Can you please wake Prem before that nosy manager comes in here and wonders what the hell happened?"
"Too late. The 'nosy' manager is here." Robin leaned casually against the doorframe of the room as three sets of eyes turned to look at him in shock. "Really, boys, I don't care what happens in your private lives, but seriously, learn to lock a damn door if you are going to be adventurous!"
He twirled on one foot, gave a hip wiggle, a small giggle, while saying "Now get out of that damn bed so Prem can give his statement to the cute Detective. You need to give me a big thanks for bringing him back here instead of Prem going to the scary precinct."
Beginning to feel like all he was doing was sighing, he gently untangled his hand from Prem, and stroked Prem's cheek. "Prem, you need to wake up."
"No, I don't." Prem whispered. "I'm safe and nothing hurts. I'm staying right here." He snuggled closer to Boun, holding him as tight as he could. "It's so warm. I was so cold before."
Never even noticing when Ohm left, Boun convinced Prem to leave the safety of the bed. After they got dressed, and Prem drank some cold tea, Boun took his hand and held it tightly. "Baby, I will hold your hand the whole time if you want me to. I will be there, if you want me. All you need to do is ask." He thought again and then said, "No, tell me what you need."