Chapter Text
At some point between white wine and arguing over Han Solo, the rain that has been bothering Lizzie all day must have stopped, because as she steps out into the cool night, the air is crisp and the sky is clear.
The city is glittering beneath them and every once in a while, a droplet drips from the orange tree in the corner and twinkles in the lights of the city.
There is a table with two chairs in the middle of the deck and if dessert was suspiciously absent from their earlier dinner, Lizzie now knows why.
Next to a bottle of champagne in a cooler and some candles that have yet to be lit, the table is set with two plates carrying the most perfect looking chocolate soufflés and now that she knows he is teasing her, the symbolism of it makes her erupt into giggles.
Getting here has certainly been a challenge.
Draped across one of the plates is a single rose with a plump pink blossom and the sight sobers her up almost instantly. It makes her heart clench with sadness and love for this wonderful man who has had to lose so much and is still ready to give her his all in a heartbeat and her eyes well up before even a single word has been uttered. Seeming to sense her state of mind, William comes up beside her and takes her hand firmly in his. Together they stand silently watching the scene before them and revel in the feeling that the moment is here and, finally, after endless months of going back and forth, they have come together on the same page.
“How did you know?”
Lizzie's voice is heavy with tears unshed and it cracks a little on the last word.
William squeezes her hand lightly to get her to look at him and smiles softly.
“How did I know what?”
“ThatI knew about the ring. You were obviously waiting for me to crack back there”, she mumbles with a slight smiles and inclines her head back towards the living room.
William chuckles and faces the sky for a moment.
“Well, you were never really the....most tidy person I know. And after weeks of pointless rearranging of my shirts only to have all of my efforts shattered in a matter of days...”
“It was not that bad! You are just stupidly obsessed with right angles!”
“...I kind of figured something was going on. But I didn't really figure it out until a few days after Gigi's birthday. Do you remember that?”
Lizzie purses her lips as she racks her brain for where she could have slipped up, but comes up empty.
“Yeah...?”
“I think you made blueberry muffins. Well, Miss Tidy, imagine my surprise when I found a trace of baking soda on my mother's ring two days later.”
Lizzie feels her cheeks grow warm and shuffles her feet uncomfortably.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Also there was this one time when I got home to you sleeping on the couch with the ring on!” he chuckles and grins smugly at her widening eyes. “So, that was a rather big clue.”
Completely mortified, Lizzie lets out a groan and slaps a hand over her mouth.
“Oh no, you didn't!”
“Yes, I did. And I was really tempted to see the look on your face should I wake you, but by then I already knew what was going on, so I thought...having a little fun with it and making you squirm would be a much sweeter revenge.”
He can barely hold in his grin and Lizzie scoffs at him and thumps him in the chest.
“So you were teasing me!” she exclaims and the knowledge doesn't help with the flush that burns her face. “Before, with the movie?”
William cocks his head to the side and shrugs his shoulders.
“Well that was too easy to pass up.”
“Sending me to Charlotte's on our anniversary? Sushi on Valentine's? Chocolate soufflés?”
William is outright laughing at her disbelief now and he takes her hand to draw her to his side and cradle her close.
“Most of it. Although I didn't really get the significance of the soufflés until somebody clued me in on it...”, he admits. “I'm sorry there was only raw fish at Valentine's.”
He leans in for a kiss, but Lizzie puts a finger to his lips to stop him.
“Who?”
He pouts a little against her finger but his cheeks are tinged pink.
“Does it matter?”
She narrows her eyes at him and puts her free hand on her hip in petulance.
“Well if I'm being ratted out by my closest friends, I demand to know names!”
William remains silent, but the tips of his ears are flaming red and somehow, Lizzie just knows from the look on his face.
“Lydia? Really?”
He seems to realize he won't be getting a kiss anytime soon, so he leans back a bit and sighs.
“Nobody ratted anyone out. It just came up.”
“It came up in a conversation that I had found your ring and was waiting for you to propose and also that I now weirdly associate you proposing with chocolate soufflés in a way? How?”
He narrows his eyes and takes a moment because he wants to answer her honestly, but in the end he just reverts to shrugging his shoulders.
“I honestly don't know. It just...did.”
Lizzie groans again and returns to the circle of his arms and presses her face into his shirt so that the reply comes out muffled.
“You two are really starting to scare me. Ganging up on me with your sister-in-law is not fair!”
The words roll off her tongue so naturally that Lizzie only realizes she has said anything out of the ordinary when William's heartbeat picks up underneath her cheek.
She extricates herself from his arms so she can see his face. He is concentrating intensely on the night sky and Lizzie softly tugs at his hand to make him look at her. When he finally does, she manages a somewhat encouraging smile even though her heart is in her throat and her stomach is doing flip-flops.
This is it.
William throws her a small wavering smile and smooths his hand over the front of his sweater.
“My mother gave me this sweatshirt, did you know that?”
Not trusting her voice, Lizzie just shakes her head mutely.
“I had just made my college's diving team and she was so proud of me. That was about three months before - …”, he pauses and swallows visibly. “It was the last gift she ever gave me.”
His voice wavers a bit and he clears his throat quickly. Lizzie smooths her hand up and down along his upper arm in what she hopes translates as a comforting gesture.
“I'm so sad I never got to meet them.”
William nods and smiles wistfully.
“Me too. My mom would have loved you so much”, he tells her and a small smile ghosts over his lips. “For making me brave.”
His voice is steady now and she knows he does not want this evening to be sad, so she smiles at him even through the tears that are choking her.
“And my dad...”
He seems to remember something and a short little laugh bursts out of him and lingers in the air around them.
When he looks up at her, his eyes are shining but the smile on his face is radiant.
“My dad would have adored you. For your wit. Your intelligence. And for challenging me every day. He probably would have asked me what the hell took me so long. I can practically hear him in my head”, and he lowers his voice to intone: “If I were you, I would have married that girl on the spot three years ago!”
And she knows they are both thinking the same thing, but she waits for him to be ready to say it and squeezes his hand encouragingly.
“And I would have, too.”
His voice is a whisper and he can only hold her gaze for a second before he has to look away.
And he looks so vulnerable, even now, even after all of this and Lizzie can't help the tears from spilling over as she strokes his thumb to make him look at her.
“I know you would have. That's why I love you so much for waiting.”
Lizzie's voice is wavering and cracked and full of emotions and talking through her tears is almost impossible, but she feels she owes him this much at least.
“But you can stop now”, she sighs and tries for a smile. “No more waiting.”
It takes a moment for her words to get through to him, but when they do, they seem to invigorate him and the smile he throws her quickens her heartbeat and makes her palms sweat.
He puts a hand inside the pocket of his sweatshirt and they both know this time it's not a trick, so he unceremoniously pulls out the ring box and presents it to her on his flat palm.
Lizzie feels like her lungs might burst and she is glad that she is not the one supposed to find her voice right now. She looks up from the box to stare into William's eyes and the love she sees there makes her knees go weak.
They stand in silence for a while, soaking up the serenity of the moment.
Now that it is only a matter of minutes, neither of them is intent on rushing ahead.
William finally lets go of her hand to open up the box and gingerly picks up the ring. He looks at it in the moonlight and smiles warmly.
His voice is quiet and almost reverent in the still of the night:
“When I was a teenager, I was painfully shy”, he begins and tilts his head to smile at her. “Even more so than I am now. While my friends were going on dates and asking girls to the prom, I was at home reading a book or looking after Gigi. When my mother asked me why I never went to school dances, I used to tell her that asking a girl out made me feel stupid. And you know there is little that I hate more than feeling stupid.”
He smirks at her because he knows full well that he is stating the obvious and Lizzie smiles at him lovingly.
“My mom would always tell me that one day, I would meet a girl and she would be worth feeling stupid for once in a while”, he continues and throws her a tiny smile. “Of course I never believed her, but she would insist upon it anyway.”
He stares out over the city for a moment, clearly lost in memories. When he finds her eyes again, he seems somber.
“Then one year, there was this girl I had wanted to go to a dance with, but I had chickened out of asking her at the last minute and instead, one of my friends ended up going with her. I was devastated of course.”
His face is slightly pained at the memory and Lizzie finds his hand again, intertwining her fingers with his.
“So when I told my mom, she did something that I found ridiculous at the time. She told me when I finally met that special girl, I should hold on to her forever because being stupid is what makes life beautiful.”
And Lizzie's heart gives a squeeze because she might have suspected it for quite some time, but this makes her know for certain that she would have loved the wise woman who has brought this imperfect, vulnerable man into the world and taught him to love.
“And she was really afraid that I would let fear hold me back from being happy in life. So she told me that when the day came and I had found the woman I wanted to be stupid with for the rest of my life, she would give me her ring – this ring – so I wouldn't find a reason to chicken out again.”
He holds the ring up into the air and examines it closely for a moment. Then he looks back down to her and smiles.
“You know what convinced me not to give up after I watched 59 videos of you mocking me endlessly?”
And Lizzie feels like the ground should open and swallow her up right now, because of course they have to talk about her videos in what should be a moment of unadulterated joy.
“Gigi called me after she watched your videos and because I was not answering phones around that time, she left a voicemail”, he tells her. “I have it memorized, mostly because it's pretty short but also because I kept coming back to it quite a lot in the following months.”
He takes a moment to smile at her and Lizzie has to concentrate really hard to keep her mind from flashing on the picture of him in a newsie hat with a flower stuck to it because he is preparing to quote Gigi Darcy and this is not the moment to burst out laughing.
“She said: William, I saw Lizzie's videos. I think it's time to get Mom's ring. “
William strokes the back of her hand with his thumb and there are tears pricking at Lizzie's eyes, because Gigi, sweet wonderful Gigi, has been fighting for her since before there was anything to fight for and if she didn't already love that big goofball of a girl with all of her heart, she certainly would now.
“Wow. I might have to thank her again.”
The tears are leaking out of her eyes freely now and William smiles at her and reaches out a thumb to wipe them away.
“Yeah, me too. Sometimes, she is really wise for her age.”
They grin at each other for a second, because sometimes, Gigi is also really childish for her age and it makes her the perfect younger sister to a brother who has always been old even when he was still a child.
“Back then, she could see what I couldn't. That I was letting fear make decisions for me”, he mutters and looks down at his shoes briefly. “And that I obviously didn't care how stupid I looked when I was with you which, as Gigi has pointed out to me on several occasions, was a first for me.”
“Oh shush, you never looked stupid”, Lizzie counters and presses a quick kiss to the underside of his chin.
“That's very generous of you, but I think your videos beg to differ.”
She buries her face in his sweater and grumbles something that sounds an awful lot like Damn those videos! and William nudges her with his arm to make her look at him.
“But that's not the point. The point is that you may have found the ring...maybe six months ago...”
“Two years, actually...”, Lizzie acquiesces and bites her lip slightly as William's eyes widen in surprise.
“Wow. That's ...wow. Long.”
Lizzie smiles at him apologetically: “Sorry?”
He shakes his head and kisses her apology away. Then, with a slight cough and a raise of his eyebrow, he starts anew:
“What I was trying to say, before you interrupted me...”
And he can see she is trying to interrupt again, so he raises a second eyebrow to silence her.
“You may have found the ring...two years ago”, he starts and the look he throws her makes her stomach flutter in anticipation, “But it has been yours for so much longer. Because, Lizzie Bennet, I have never felt stupid as much as I did that first year after we met.”
He grins at her and a giggle escapes her throat.
“But I didn't care then and I don't care now. Because it changed me and it made me become a better person. A person worthy of your love. And that is the only thing that matters to me.”
His voice is steady and strong where Lizzie is trembling and teary and she feels like if it weren't for his firm hand in hers, she would already be lying on the floor in a quivering heap.
“I didn't get my mother's ring right away. It didn't feel right when you still hated me”, he continues softly. “But you came to Pemberley and it gave me a chance to make things right, so I had to remind myself not to chicken out again. And it wasn't until I held my mother's ring in my hands and thought about her words, that I realized something within me had changed.”
He pauses for a second and Lizzie's heart stutters at the intensity of his gaze.
“Because when I thought about you, for the first time in my life, I thought about you first and about me second.”
The air is still and everything is silent except for the quiet sound of Lizzie's sniffling. She can barely see for the curtain of tears, but even blurry, William's smile is luminous and it keeps her tethered to the moment.
“I realized my mother had been right all along. And Gigi had been the first to see it. Because I loved you so much that I didn't care if I made a fool of myself or got rejected or if you hit me in the face, because the only thing that mattered was that I loved you and that you knew that.”
His voice is barely a whisper now.
“And if you didn't love me back, that would be okay because you would be happy and I would have tried.”
The tears are clogging her throat so it takes her a moment to regain her ability to speak and even then it comes out croaky and cracked and imperfect:
“I do love you back. So much. And you know I never would have hit you in the face. I'm way too tiny for it.”
She giggles through her tears and he chuckles and leans down to press a soft kiss to her lips.
“I know.”
And there's a moment where he seems to gather his courage and there's a tiny crack in his calm exterior because the deep breath he takes shudders a bit and his voice has a slight quiver to it when he starts:
“This day always makes me think of family. And I think mine has been a party of two for far too long. I know Gigi already sees you as a sister, but please let me make it official.”
And Lizzie has to remind herself to take deep steady breaths because he is really doing this and her heart is hammering so erratically in her chest that she's afraid she might actually pass out.
“Lizzie Bennet”, he starts softly and he is stroking her thumb and there are wrinkles around his eyes from smiling too much and she focuses on these little things that keep her in the moment, “you have brightened my life and brought so much joy into this little family that has been nothing but sad for so long. You make me want to be a better man and you make me want to do stupid things just because life is too short.”
He throws her a grin that seems to say here we go and without any conscious effort on her part, Lizzie feels her lips tug into a smile at the sight.
“I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone and there is no-one I would rather spend my life with, so please, will you be my wife?”
And she has known that this is where they would end up ever since that fateful day when she needed a piece of him to feel comforted, but hearing him actually say the words makes something snap inside her and she starts trembling as the words fight their way outside through the tears clogging her throat and clouding her vision.
“Yes. Yesyesyes. Of course.”
Her heart has stopped beating and all air is gone from her lungs, but he is there, big and strong and radiating happiness and he snatches her up into his arms and crushes her to his chest. She is still whispering words of consent into his shoulder and she feels a wetness where his face is buried in her neck and suddenly, they are both laughing madly through their tears.
And his sweater is covered in snot and tears where she lays her head and it is slowly starting to drizzle again and the candles are forgotten on the table, still unlit and it is almost certainly past midnight at this point and they are wet and cold and tired, but as William's lips find hers blindly and the taste of his tears mingles with her own, this is the beginning of the rest of their lives together and nothing has ever felt more perfect.
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And the ring slides onto her finger with ease and the metal is smooth and cool and soothing against her burning skin and William kisses her reverently as he feels for the band with his fingertips over and over and over again.
And it feels like coming home.
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