Chapter Text
He woke up with something tickling him; he scrunched his nose and opened his eyes just a smidge and his vision was filled with blond hair. He could feel Hizashi’s weight in his arms, and he blushed when he realised they’d somehow moved around enough to be cuddling during sleep. It was understandable though; despite the room being quite toasty, it was still winter, and a human’s natural reaction was to seek warmth during cold months.
Shouta tried to slowly untangle himself from Hizashi’s limbs but was met with a low-pitched whine; and Hizashi held him tighter with his arm thrown over Shouta’s chest. The man chuckled and ran his fingers through the long hair, mindful of post-sleep knots. Despite the slight amusement at the situation, he couldn’t help the pain he felt. Oh how he ached, longing to wake up like this with Hizashi in his arms every day. All he wanted was to shower him with affection, to show him how much he cherished him and appreciated his joy, optimism, and drive to be better.
Shouta sighed to himself, and either it woke up Hizashi or he was on the verge of waking up because suddenly Shouta was looking into a pair of big, green eyes.
“Everything ok, Shou?” Hizashi asked sleepily, rubbing sleep away from his eye.
Shouta nodded and pet his hair. Hizashi replied with a lazy smile and plopped himself back on Shouta’s chest.
“Wish we could stay like this forever,” he murmured and dozed off again - which leftShouta reeling from the comment. Hizashi didn’t mean it like that, right? He meant it in general, “ it’s comfy here” way and would’ve said the same to Oboro if he were there… Right?
After making sure Hizashi was deep asleep, Shouta finally managed to get out of bed. He took a quick shower and changed into a pullover and jeans Hizashi made him pack. He didn’t even know he owned clothes like that, but if Hizashi insisted, who was he to deny?
He entered the dining area where two of Hizashi’s uncles and three cousins were sitting. As soon as he sat down, he was drawn into a conversation about his degree. To his surprise he talked animatedly, diving deep into challenges the homeroom teacher position poses. He didn’t even notice Hizashi entering behind until it was too late; the blond plopped himself down to him, put his hand on Shouta’s knee and kissed him on the cheek.
“Morning, babe,” he whispered and started greeting the rest of the family, seemingly oblivious to the fact Shouta nearly choked on his own spit or the fact that his face was bright red, competing with the red porcelain bowls set on the table. His heart rate sped up, and he could hear blood in his ears - and yet he shouldn’t be so surprised. They are pretending to be a couple after all. He just didn’t expect Hizashi to be…this affectionate in public from the get go. It made sense, of course, but…
His train of thought was interrupted by cooing from his left, and when he turned, he noticed Maki with her elbow on the table and resting her cheek on her palm.
“You two are so sweet,” she said, eyes sparkling. “You know, Hizashi talked about you all the time and we all really hoped you’d finally get together.”
Shocked and flustered, Shouta just stared. A million questions ran through his head. What in the world could Hizashi tell his cousins they were under the impression they should be together? Why did Hizashi talk about him at all? Was his face as hot as it felt? Could Maki see the panic written all over…
Hizashi’s manicured hand landed on his, grounding him and stopping his racing thoughts. He took a couple deep breaths and looked up at Hizashi, who was staring at him with soft, concerned eyes. Shouta smiled weakly, turned his hand to lace their fingers together and squeeze Hizashi’s hand four times - a non-verbal confirmation that Shouta was ok. It was a system they came up with a long time ago during one of the hot, lazy summer nights, wanting to be able to communicate with each other in a way no one would understand. They had their elaborate handshakes with Oboro, but this was theirs.
Hizashi’s smile grew wider at the reassurance and he got back to his conversation. When Shouta turned, he was relieved to see Maki was already occupied by another of the aunts and was paying him no mind.
After breakfast, the whole family bar Hizashi’s grandparents went on a trip to Zoo Asahiyama; both the kids and cousins their age were excited - the kids hadn’t been to the zoo yet, and the cousins had only vague memories of the place. Even Shouta had to admit he was looking forward to it. He’d never been to the zoo during winter time and it was sure to be spectacular in the white snow.
And spectacular it was. The animals looked absolutely magical in the winter scenery, especially the polar bears. Deers were difficult to spot, but they managed; the kids were all happy to see Bambi!!! The most popular, of course, were penguins, but not among the kids. No, the most excited was Hizashi, who ran up to the enclosure and whisper-yelled at Shouta to come over quicker. When Shouta just smirked at Hizashi and continued his leisurely pace, the blond ran up to him and dragged him across the path, managing to slip on the one patch of ice in the entire zoo.
They tumbled, but thanks to Shouta’s quick reflexes, ironed during his karate lessons, he grabbed Hizashi by his waist and turned them around, taking the brunt of the fall. He grimaced from the impact, wheezing when Hizashi’s elbow managed to hit him in the stomach. His boyfriend tried to scramble off him with apologies, but Shouta kept him in place with firm grip.
“Are you ok?” he murmured and tucked away a strand of hair that escaped Hizashi’s bun.
Hizashi, rosy-cheeked and breathing heavily (and oh, how often Shouta imagined Hizashi looking like that, though maybe in a different scenario…) managed to nod, and Shouta sighed with relief. He thought he may have heard a shutter sound to their left but was too focused on Hizashi. The man was looking at him with big, green eyes filled with an emotion Shouta was unable to name, snow falling around him and lips slightly parted. He looked beautiful, amazing, ethereal and… very kissable.
Without thinking, Shouta leaned in and brushed his lips with Hizashi’s. They were just as soft as they looked and faintly tasted of cherry chapstick.
He heard Hizashi’s breath hitch and quickly pulled away. Fuck, fuck, fuck, why did he do that! His brain has truly made its exit. He was so lost in the moment he forgot for the briefest second that they were just friends, and he gave in to his desires. He was an impulsive idiot …
“Shou?” Hizashi asked quietly, sitting up in Shouta’s lap. His cheeks were rosy but Shouta couldn’t tell if it was because of the kiss or the cold. At the very least, he didn’t seem to hate his guts. He helped Shouta sit up too; nimble fingers took his hat off and started checking the back of his head, looking for injury.
“Thank you for saving me,” Hizashi grinned slightly, a smaller version of his bright smile. The blush that adorned his freckled cheeks seemed to darken when he looked Shouta in the eyes.
“Always,” Shouta replied with a shrug.
They finally managed to pull themselves up, and once they reassured the whole family that they were okay, they proceeded forward. Hizashi stayed in the back with Akari and Maki, and Shouta could’ve sworn he asked for the photo someone took when they were laying on the ice. He tried to come up with a rational explanation and figured he probably wanted to text Oboro to show off how clumsy they both were. What was weird for Shouta, though, was that he asked for the pic in English. It wasn't like he needed to practise his English, nor that his American cousins had problems with Japanese. So why would they insist on speaking that language?
Next they went to the tunnels under the penguins’ enclosure, one that allowed the visitors to see penguins swimming in the water. Predictably, it was crowded and noisy, unlike the rest of the zoo, and Shouta quickly felt overstimulation creeping up. He tensed up, and his hand felt sweaty; he was about to tell Hizashi to continue without him when the man slipped his headphones over Shouta’s ears and fumbled with his phone to put on an instrumental track. The headphones themselves helped immensely with their noise-cancelling system, and the track covered the remaining noise. Shouta immediately relaxed and took Hizashi’s hand to gently squeeze it two times: thank you. Hizashi just smiled in response and gently tugged Shouta forward. After a couple steps, he put his arm around Shouta’s shoulders and kept it there for the rest of the visit, to Shouta’s quiet joy.
Back at the mansion, another feast was prepared. Shouta was slowly getting used to the amounts prepared for the whole family, but this time, he barely recognised most of the dishes - it was an American night, so among the strictly Japanese dishes, were burgers, hot dogs and something Shouta suspected was chilli (he had it once upon Hizashi’s insistence). He ate some chilli (and he had to admit, it was good) but omitted burgers and hot dogs, which looked suspiciously greasy.
Unlike the previous night, the kids were sent away and the adults brought out sake, whiskey and soju and the party started. Shouta, already tired after the trip to the zoo, was further exhausted by the noise and conversations at the dinner, and by the time alcohol rolled around he was overstimulated to the extreme. He didn’t want to leave Hizashi yet, though; the thought he’d be left alone was nearly making him cry, and he wanted Hizashi to have fun. So he put on a brave face and allowed himself to lean into Hizashi’s side. It was warm and soft, and Shouta could feel the tension melting away.
He spied the blonde’s hand lying on the table, and without thinking, Shouta reached out to take it into his own hands. Instead of intertwining their fingers, he started playing with Hizashi’s rings, twisting and turning them. They were different textures and width and made for relaxing fidget toys, especially the three silver rings with purple gems in the shape of triangles stacked onto each other.
Hizashi leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Whatcha doing, babe?”
Shouta shrugged, almost not blushing at the pet name.
Almost.
“Wanna go to bed?” Hizashi asked quietly, after noticing the tension in the set of Shouta’s shoulders. Shouta shook his head.
“Come on, you must be tired…”
“But you’re having fun,” Shouta protested weakly, focusing on Hizashi’s ring finger that was suspiciously void of any rings. Oh how he'd like to put a ring on him one day…
“We can have fun in the bedroom too, come on,” Hizashi helped him stand up and stuck his tongue out at Taguchi, who for some reason snickered at Hizashi’s comment.
On their way to the bedroom, they passed the kid’s rooms and noticed Asami had her light on. Hizashi quietly knocked on the door and opened it enough to poke his head in.
“Everything ok, princess?” He asked the ten year old. She either responded very quietly or not audibly at all, Shouta assumed, as he didn’t hear anything yet Hizashi quickly entered the room and sat down next to her on the bed.
“Want me to go for your mum?” He asked gently, scooping the little girl in his arms and plopping her down in his lap. When she shook her head, Hizashi hummed thoughtfully, clearly trying to come up with a solution. Hesitantly, Shouta came up to them and sat on the edge of the bed too.
“Hi, Asami,” he said softly. The girl gave him a wobbly smile. “Do you want your uncle Hicchan to sing you a lullaby?” He asked, ignoring Hizashi’s terrified look.
Asami whipped her head around to look at her uncle with big, pleading eyes. “Please?” She asked, puppy eyes turned on to maximum. It worked like a charm.
Hizashi smiled at Shouta with relief and then focused on the little girl, his melodic voice carrying a tune of a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a kid. Asami leaned back, resting against Hizashi’s chest, and she reached out her hands and made a grabby motion at Shouta, who looked at her confused. When she pouted, he sat closer and gave her his hand, which she happily took and cradled to her chest like a plushie. After that, it didn’t take long for her to doze off.
Asami was falling back asleep, Hizashi was playing with her hair, singing softly and looking at Shouta with tenderness in his eyes and Shouta… Shouta couldn’t help the longing. Or his imagination that replaced Asami with a kid similar age but theirs. And boy, did he want to have kids with Hizashi one day… he never thought himself a family man but seeing Hizashi tending to his little cousins was certainly changing that stance. He was so attentive, and patient, and paternal, and it was, frankly, really hot.
He didn’t even notice that Hizashi stopped singing and managed to free his hand that was being held hostage. Right now, the blonde was looking at him with an emotion that he once again couldn’t name but made his heart stutter and cheeks colour red.
He cleared his throat. “We should go,” Shouta said hastily and left the bedroom without looking back at his friend.
The following days were both heaven and hell on Earth. They’d wake up cuddled together. Hizashi was getting more touchy-feely in order to sell their relationship to his family; fingers intertwined, soft touches to Shouta’s arm, leaning in to whisper into his ear. He’d throw his arm around Shouta’s shoulders and keep it there while they talked with the family, which was nothing new, except now there were implications and Shouta had to listen to all the sweet words and cooing how adorable the two of them were together, how they knew it was only a matter of time before they got together and “Oh gosh, you’re so cute!” (that last one being uttered most often by Hizashi’s cousins, Ami and Chieko). Most of it was said to Hizashi in English, adding how happy they were that he finally grew balls, which still confused Shouta. He assumed his English was not as good as he thought and maybe he was misunderstanding something. He couldn’t ask Hizashi, as it would give away his skills.
He thought he might choke on his drink when Kiyoko, the oldest of the cousins and with toddlers of her own, asked when would he make an honest man out of Hizashi. Thankfully his friend was quick to cover for them, claiming they were waiting to finish the universities and establish themselves professionally.
All this to say, Shouta was having a really hard time with everyone thinking that they’re such a good couple, and he wasn’t sure how much his heart was going to take. He was currently sitting alone at the table, moping, while the rest of the family went to the private onsen, when his vision was filled with blonde hair. He raised his head slightly, confused, and realised Hizashi was standing above him, letting his hair fall down around them, creating a curtain between them and the world.
“Everything ok, Shou?” He asked quietly, and Shouta nodded.
“Sorry, just tired I guess,” he mumbled in response.
Hizashi beamed at that. “Great! Wear it,” he said and put Shouta’s jacket on his shoulders. He dumbly obeyed and as soon as he was dressed up, Hizashi dragged him over to the garden. Distantly, Shouta realised it was snowing but he didn’t have much time to focus on it as he was hit in the face with… a snowball.
He looked at his best friend quizzically, who was already preparing another shot.
“Fight me,” Hizashi challenged with a wide grin. And well, who was Shouta to deny him anything? In no time they had a full scale duel, ducking behind the trees and trying to sneak up on each other behind the statutes. Their clothes were soaking, their wet hair was sticking to their faces, and Shouta genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he had so much carefree fun. But even Hizashi’s bright laughter couldn’t sway him; oh no, he was going to win this.
And if he was going to win by sneaking up on Hizashi and tackling him to the ground, no one was protesting.
They laid in the snow, their chests heaving and their faces mere inches apart. Shouta was able to see snowflakes that landed on Hizashi’s eyelashes, framing his eyes like a beautiful sculpture and this close, he would be able to count his freckles (there were one hundred seventy nine of them; he knew, he’d counted them already back in high school). He leaned in and brushed their noses together, eliciting a giggle out of his friend. It was good. He could stay like this forever.
Hizashi looked at Shouta from under his lashes and rolled away, much to Shouta’s disappointment.
“Come on, Shou! Let’s make snow angels!” Hizashi cheered and started sweeping his arms up and down, childlike wonder on his face. Shouta couldn’t help the laughter bubbling in his chest, but he followed his best friend. Soon there were snow angels all over the yard.
“Boys, what the hell are you doing!” Aki’s terrified voice boomed across the yard and they lifted their heads to look at all the family giggling and taking pictures of them.
They looked at the gathering and then at each other and burst out laughing. Oh, what a sight they must have been, soaking wet, slightly shivering, hair in an utter disarray. Shouta never wanted this moment to end. Hizashi rolled onto his side and was looking at him with a small, intimate smile and Shouta didn’t even try to resist the urge to cup his cheek and run his thumb along the cheekbone.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured reverently and Hizashi’s eyes widened comically but before the blonde could respond both mums, Aki and Hinata, were all over them, ushering them inside and stripping off the wet clothes. They were forced to quickly change in the bedroom and then sat at the heated kotatsu, blankets over their shoulders and mugs of hot chocolate in their hands. It happened so quickly and efficiently they didn’t have a moment to talk, and Shouta was stewing in anxiety that he overstepped somehow. Sure, Hizashi was calling him handsome left and right, but he didn’t mean it. Unlike Shouta.
His worries melted away when Hizashi scooted closer and laid his head on Shouta’s shoulder. Alright, so he hadn’t ruin everything yet. Between the kiss in the zoo and the compliments, though, he was on the right track to let his biggest secret spill - and in the presence of no less than twenty people.
Perfect.
His secret stayed safe despite the rising desire to just pin Hizashi to bed in the evening and kiss him senseless. He settled for snuggling; they didn’t even try to sleep on opposite ends of the bed anymore, they were cuddling right as they got undercovers. They still had almost a week at the mansion left, and Shouta was already mourning the loss of their newfound closeness that would follow.
It was a day before Christmas Eve and the young adults of the family decided to have a separate party just for them. The drinks were out, snacks were all over the place and Shouta was drunkenly laughing with Taguchi and leaning heavily into Hizashi, seeking his warmth.
“Oh, oh!!” Reika squealed suddenly, looking at her phone. “Zashi! You said Sho is a Scorpio, right?”
Shouta could feel Hizashi nodding. Scorpio ?
“OK, SO, ‘ their relationship is full of emotion, loyalty, and passion. Cancer admires Scorpio's strength and mysterious aura, while Scorpio appreciates Cancer's nurturing and compassionate heart. Together, they create a strong and supportive bond that can weather any storm’,” she said, reading from her phone.
“Oh my GOSH,” Ami squealed in English, “you’re practically soulmates!!” She gushed in Japanese and Shouta just knew his face was getting red.
“Right?!” Reika agreed. “You were like, totally made for each other!!”
Oh, how he wished for it to be true.
Reika continued scrolling through the Zodiac match. “So it seems the only problem you have is communication, because both signs ‘tend to hide the way they feel. They prefer keeping emotions safe from scrutiny. A Cancer and Scorpio pair will only reveal how they feel when they develop a sense of safety.’” She looked up at them with a wide smile. “Good thing you have this figured out!”
Shouta nearly scoffed. Yeah, right. Of course he felt safe with Hizashi. That’s precisely why he’d never be able to admit his feelings to the man. And listening to the cousins gushing over them, as if they were match made in heaven, was getting difficult.
Taguchi said to Hizashi in English, “man, I can’t believe a nerd like you bagged such a hottie” and Shouta’s brain might have shut down when Hizashi replied that he was the luckiest guy on Earth. Hizashi a nerd? Him a hottie? In what world! He quickly sobered by remembering that it was all an act. Or that he misunderstood something, what with Taguchi’s heavy Texan accents.
He was about to stand up and excuse himself, the situation getting to him more than he’d like, when Maki called them both over to the corner of the room.
They exchanged confused looks but got up and came to her; Hizashi opened his mouth to ask her what was up but before he could get a word out, she and Ami started giggling and Maki pointed over their heads.
Still confused as hell, they looked up and saw a mistletoe above their heads. Oh, Shouta had a vague memory of an American tradition involving a mistletoe and… kissing?
His gaze dropped to his friend who was staring at him with a bright red face and was biting his lip.
“Kiss, kiss, kiss!” the cousins chanted in unison and Hizashi slowly stepped into his personal space.
“We don’t have to,” the blonde murmured but Shouta… Well, Shouta was feeling selfish and greedy. He wanted to taste Hizashi’s lips again. His hands found Hizashi’s waist and he pulled their bodies flush. This close, he could see the way green eyes shimmered before Hizashi closed them in anticipation.
Agonisingly slowly, Shouta leaned in, giving Hizashi every chance to change his mind and abandon the ship. When he didn’t, he pressed their lips together in a slow, close-mouthed kiss. He knew he should make it as short as possible for Hizashi’s sake. Yet he couldn’t help but linger a moment too long, when nothing short of a Christmas miracle happened - Hizashi started kissing back, his hands tangling in the dark locks. Their lips moved together, and Hizashi’s tongue brushed over his lower lip, a silent request that Shouta happily fulfilled. Their tongues started to slide together and Shouta whimpered, barely registering the sound.
He didn’t know how long they stood there, making out under the mistletoe, but eventually, they had to pull away. Hizashi looked every inch as if he just made out with someone. No, not someone, with Shouta. His pupils were blown wide, cheeks flushed, lips kiss-pink and he was breathing heavily, and Shouta felt a rush of pride at the fact that he did it to him. He didn’t even mind the wolf whistles in the background, too focused on his boyfriend who was leaning in as if he wanted to kiss him again.
Sensing Hizashi’s intention, Maki laughed.
“Get a room, you two!” she exclaimed in English. Hizashi opened his mouth to respond but Shouta beat him to it.
“You started it,” he replied with a smirk, his English heavily accented but it was enough. Hizashi froze.
“Y-you…” he stuttered, suddenly pale as death. “You understood her?”
Oh crap. His second biggest secret was out of the bag.
“Uh, I-...” he didn’t finish. Hizashi turned on his heels and bolted through the door, leaving Shouta and his cousins still with shock.
“What the fuck was that about,” Ami asked, tilting her head in confusion. She looked at Shouta but he was too terrified to respond.
“I gotta go,” he murmured and followed Hizashi, hoping that the man simply went to their bedroom.
He had; Hizashi was sitting in the corner of their room, curled in on himself, his body wracked with sobs. Shouta hesitantly came up to him and kneeled, leaving enough space between them to not make Hizashi uncomfortable.
“Zashi?” he asked quietly. Instead of calming down, Hizashi’s sobs got more violent.
“I-I-I’m sorry,” he wailed, his face hidden in his knees. “I’m so sorry.”
Shouta inched closer. “Hicchan, what are you sorry about?”
Hizashi hiccuped and tried to take a deep breath. When that didn’t work, Shouta sat right next to him and pulled him into his lap, bringing his arms around him protectively. He started rubbing Hizashi’s back up and down and let the man hide his snotty face in his chest. Hizashi gladly accepted the safe haven offered and started crying into Shouta’s shirt. Shouta murmured sweet nothings and reassuring platitudes until the blonde calmed down enough to take a couple deep breaths. When he pulled away, Shouta cupped his face and started gently wiping the tears away with his thumb.
“Come on, Sunshine, why are you crying?” he asked softly.
“B-because you- you must know,” Hizashi hiccoughed, fresh tears falling down his face.
“Know…?” Shouta prompted, still confused and no closer to solving the mystery.
“T-that, that I love you,” Hizashi wailed and hid his face in Shouta’s chest again.
The world froze for Shouta.
Hizashi loved him? So all the comments about the pining…asking out… They were true?
“You love me?” he couldn’t help but ask, disbelief colouring his voice. Wonderful, funny, cheerful Hizashi loved him? A serious, boring him ?
Hizashi pulled away again and looked at him confused. “Y-yes? Y-you… How did you not know, after all the teasing?” He asked, utterly baffled.
Shouta’s cheeks flushed red. How should he explain it?
“I-... I thought you said it was about me because you didn’t want to admit your real crush,” he mumbled and dropped his head down to hide behind his hair. He was startled when Hizashi burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” He asked defensively and looked up to glare at his friend.
“Shouchan…” Hizashi cupped his cheek, seemingly gaining confidence from the fact Shouta didn’t look mad. “I’ve been talking about you with my cousins since we’ve met. They’ve been listening to my pining and waxing poetic about you for the past five years,” he said and tenderly brushed some hair from Shouta’s face.
“Y-you…” Completely at a loss for words, Shouta did the only thing that came to his mind - he leaned in and kissed Hizashi on the nose. The blonde giggled.
“I love you too,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around Hizashi’s waist and hugging him. He hid in the crook of his neck and Hizashi squealed with happiness, hugging him back.
Something occurred to Shouta and he looked up. “So when your parents asked about your date…?”
“They asked if I’ll bring you and they were over the moon when I panicked and said yes,” Hizashi confirmed. “They love you. Not as much as I love you, but they do.”
Shouta felt his blush spreading down his neck. “I love you too,” he murmured again and nuzzled into Hizashi’s shoulder.
And then he did what he wanted to do throughout the whole week - pinned Hizashi to bed and kissed him senseless, much to the other's delight.