Chapter Text
Guys this is it! You've stuck with me till the end. This last chapter was hard to write, not going to lie. But I think it ended where it needed to. You guys are fantastic! I hope you'll follow me and read my other stuff. If you're reading my other 100 story, that should be updated sometime tomorrow.
“You’re going to tear your stitches.” Clarke didn’t know how she was able to form words as Lexa continued her assault on her neck, placing open mouthed kisses along Clarke’s pulse point. Despite her words, Clarke’s hands clutched desperately at Lexa’s waist, feeling the heat from the brunette’s skin through the thin material of her shirt. Lexa had been recovering from her injuries for the past few weeks in Polis. In truth, Clarke had been surprised that she had managed to convince the stubborn Commander to remain in bed for as long as she did. Until finally, Abby had declared that it was alright for Lexa to return to light duty but nothing strenuous.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” Lexa whispered distractedly, raising her mouth to claim Clarke’s lips in a heated kiss that all but melted Clarke’s resolve entirely. They hadn’t been able to truly to intimate since the war ended and neither one of them would admit the fact that it was killing them. With Lexa’s injury physically preventing them, and Clarke needing to become interim Commander while Lexa recovered, this was the first time they were able to express their frustration at being parted for so long.
“Lex, you could hurt yourself further.” Clarke whined as Lexa’s hand tugged impatiently at the ties of Clarke’s pants.
“I hurt now.” Lexa answered. Though Clarke knew that the hurt that Lexa was talking about had nothing to do with her injury and everything to do with sexual frustration. In truth, Clarke felt herself throb at just the idea of Lexa touching her, her clit pulsed with need, thighs rubbing together just for a little bit of friction to ease the ache. The brunette seemed to sense her wife’s predicament and her hand slid under the material of Clarke’s pants, fingers finding purchase in hot, silken folds that coated her fingertips with wetness.
“God!” Clarke expelled a harsh breath as her hips bucked against Lexa’s hand. Her gasp turning into a loud moan when Lexa’s thumb began drawing teasing circles around the bundle of nerves, never touching directly but getting close enough for Clarke to nearly see stars. Lexa watched her hand as it moved within Clarke’s pants, satisfied by the reaction her touch was eliciting out of the blonde.
“I missed the sounds you make.” Lexa breathed against Clarke’s ear, taking the lobe between her lips and tugging at it gently. Smirking as Clarke bucked against her, more impatiently this time. “I miss how it feels to be inside you.”
To make her point, Lexa pushed a single finger inside Clarke as deep as she was able to go and felt Clarke clench around the digit, pulling it further in. Clarke muffled her cry against Lexa’s shoulder, but still Lexa wouldn’t be surprised if at least half the floor hadn’t heard it. At least her guard had learned by now, that not all cried that came from the Commander’s bedroom were cause for alarm.
Clarke felt the pleasure coarse through her entire body as if every nerve had suddenly become a receptor for pleasure only. Her head spun, and her breath came in sharp pants. Lexa’s fingers moving in her with a familiarity that meant she knew just how to touch Clarke to bring her to the edge, pushing her closer and closer until she was almost there. And then slowing down, her focused touches becoming lazy but no less effective. It only served to keep Clarke on the edge without allowing her to go over it.
“Lexa.” Clarke pleaded. Forcing her eyes open and her head up so that she could see the brunette’s green eyes. Lexa wanted to draw this out, she wanted to savor every moment of it and enjoy what it was she almost lost. Clarke tried to inspire Lexa to move more by rocking her hips against Lexa’s hand with more intensity. Surely Lexa wasn’t mean enough to tease her when time and distance had already done that for them.
Getting the hint from Clarke’s piercing glare, Lexa kissed Clarke gently, apologetically even, before sliding another finger into Clarke and pressing against Clarke’s clit with the pad of her thumb. The reaction was instant. Clarke’s head falling backward, eyes closed tightly, mouth open as a loud cry of relief filled their bedroom. Feeling her orgasm wash over her harder than she had ever experienced before Clarke’s body shook in Lexa’s firm embrace. It felt endless, each time she thought that the pleasure had crested Clarke felt it more and more. Lexa’s fingers continuing to thrust harder and deeper, determined to prolong Clarke’s pleasure as long as possible.
Finally, when the sensitivity grew too much Clarke pushed against Lexa’s wrist and the brunette stopped her touches. Allowing for Clarke to ride out the aftershocks of her orgasm with only gentle kisses over Clarke’s entire face, her lips, cheeks, nose, eyelids, everywhere Lexa could reach.
When reality finally returned to Clarke, she felt Lexa guide them to their bed and lay her gently down upon it. Clarke felt boneless, her entire body feeling heavy and sated. Lexa lay next to her, resting on her uninjured side facing Clarke. The brunette smiling warmly, despite her own arousal she was more than content to allow Clarke the time she needed to recover. There was a bit of smugness that came along with her smile.
The two lay there for several minutes in blissful peace. Clarke’s breathing finally returning to a more controlled and calm rate. Lexa watched fascinated as Clarke’s hand reached out, still trembling slightly, and traced the cloth over the jagged skin that was still working to repair itself. It would be an impressive scar, one that would haunt Clarke and that Lexa would wear with pride.
“I am fine Clarke.” Lexa insisted softly. She knew that there was nothing that she could say that would ever make Clarke not worry about her. Clarke would worry every time she left the safety of the capital to tour the lands of the Coalition. Just like Lexa would worry every time Clarke left the safety of their bedroom.
“Let’s keep it that way.” Clarke brought their lips together, rolling Lexa gently onto her back and sliding her thigh between Lexa’s legs. It was then that Lexa remembered her own desire. It was so easily for her to get lost in Clarke, giving Clarke pleasure was easily her favorite pass time. And Clarke’s needs, at least according to Lexa, vastly out weighed her own.
Sliding her tongue passed Lexa’s willing lips Clarke heard Lexa groan in appreciation, it always warmed her heart when Lexa allowed herself the freedom to make such noises. It wasn’t her first instinct and Clarke knew that it was just another sign of how much Lexa trusted her. It made her want to draw out more of these sounds. Their kiss growing in intensity, hungry, dominating even. And before either of them knew it Lexa was writhing beneath Clarke, desperate for Clarke to touch her.
Lexa had always been able to control her bodies reactions, even when she felt lost in arousal. But now she felt out of control, her body moving of its own volition doing anything and everything just to feel a little bit more of Clarke’s body. Desperately trying to get Clarke’s hands to touch more of her, touch her harder, do something. But Clarke’s hands stayed frustratingly still along Lexa’s hip. Her fingers burning into Lexa’s skin wasn’t enough. Clarke was still trying to be careful, afraid to hurt or exasperate Lexa’s injury. An injury that Abby had told them both was healing just fine.
“Clarke.” Lexa growled, she felt Clarke shudder against her. The rumble of sending a jolt straight through Clarke.
“No strenuous activity.” Clarke reminded reluctantly. Lexa glared, if Clarke wasn’t going to take care of her then Lexa would not hesitate to take matters into her own hands. Clarke knew that Lexa’s patience was quickly fading, she didn’t want to hurt Lexa but at the same time she couldn’t torture Lexa anymore.
Lexa watched Clarke as she slid down her body, pressing open mouthed kisses to ever bit of exposed skin she could find. Her gaze watching Lexa closely for any sign of pain or discomfort. But when she saw nothing but desperation and need she continued down further and further until her lips was trailing scorching paths across Lexa’s hip bone and along the inside of Lexa’s muscular thigh. Her eyes drinking in the sight of Lexa’s arousal. Her mouth watered at the sight. Remembering how Lexa tasted and hungry to taste it again, feel Lexa’s essence coat her tongue as she drove Lexa higher and higher towards ecstasy.
Running her tongue along Lexa, thick broad strokes of her tongue from the bottom of Lexa’s opening, dipping the tip of her tongue teasingly inside before moving up to flick Lexa’s clit. Lexa’s hips jumped from the bed, canting against Clarke’s mouth to encourage the blonde. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at Lexa’s reaction. Circling her tongue around the stiff bundle of nerves until Lexa was panting, her legs trembling, and her hands gripping desperately at the furs beneath her. She was so close. Clarke used her grip on Lexa’s hips to hold Lexa steady while she continued to devour Lexa, lapping up every drop Lexa had to offer.
“Clarke, please.” Lexa whispered like a reverent prayer to the Gods. Clarke didn’t have the strength to refuse such a plea, and as a result she wrapped her lips around Lexa’s clit, sucking gently. Lexa’s climax was sudden, surprising them both with its intensity. Lexa arched off the bed, head thrown back as a slew of Trigedasleng words falling from her lips.
Kissing her way up Lexa’s body, Clarke settled beside Lexa and saw her wife lost in the delirium of her pleasure. When Lexa’s eyes finally opened she saw Clarke watching her.
“I love you.” Clarke said pressing her lips against Lexa’s.
“I love you too.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Clarke asked, she had been watching as Lexa set what she would need on the table. So far there was a bowl of water, bandages, and leather bound wrap that she assumed held the tools she would need in order to tattoo Octavia’s skin. Octavia bounced on the balls of her feet, unable to contain the excitement that she felt at the prospect of this finally happening. She had thought that Lexa had forgotten her promise. That when they returned from the war that Lexa would give her her first tattoo.
“I’m sure, come on Clarke. I’ve already gotten the lecture from Bellamy. But I want this.” Octavia stated. Indra had told her about this rite of passage. For a warrior to receive their first marking, it was a proud moment. Which was why Indra was also there. Normally, a warrior would receive a marking from their mentor. But, Indra didn’t mind allowing Lexa to do it. Just so long as Octavia understood the honor.
“Alright, I’m not lecturing I’m just thinking about how much it’s going to hurt.” Clarke said watching Lexa unroll the instruments and seeing the sharpened instruments. Many of them looked like little picks. And then there was a small, hammer looking tool that looked ominous in so many ways.
“She is a warrior of the Commander’s army; she will endure it.” Indra said from where she sat. She was still weak, but every day she felt her strength return just a little bit.
Octavia had no idea what image she would be getting on her arm. There was a huge amount of trust that she was placing in Lexa. Especially, having never seen Lexa’s drawing ability. But Octavia trusted Lexa. Even if it was the ugliest thing that Octavia had ever seen, she would wear it proudly because it was given to her by the Commander.
It was a process that took hours, and Octavia wasn’t going to lie. It hurt. A lot. Lexa used a small piece of charcoal to sketch an idea of the image that she wanted. In this case, an intricate design of swirls and lines. When she was done the skin of Octavia’s arm was red and irritated but the black ink that now decorated her arm was beautiful and perfect.
“It’s amazing.” Octavia said looking down at her bicep wanting to touch the ink but afraid it might hurt.
“It will take a few days for it to heal. Ask Lincoln to get you an ointment that will help with the healing and keep the skin from drying out.” Lexa instructed washing her ink stained hands.
“Thank you Heda.” Octavia said truly heartfelt. Her voice breaking with the motion that she felt in that moment. This moment, it was what she had always wanted. She was no longer a Sky Person dressed as a grounder. She was a grounder, accepted and marked by the Commander of the Coalition. She dared anyone to question that.
“You have earned it Octavia.” Lexa replied with a soft smile. She remembered when she had gone through this process with Anya. The mark that Anya had made her was one of her favorites. On her ankle there was a crude drawing of a wolf, she said that Lexa had a wolf’s spirit.
Peace had always been fleeting for the Grounders. Even times where there weren’t conflicts, people hesitated to call it peace. They were just moments in between war. But, now they were at peace. But now they were at peace. There was no one else to fight, the Mountain had fallen, the Ice Nation had fallen, and now the Coalition was at peace. In the months that followed Lexa would be lying if she said that she wasn’t constantly waiting for the peace to fall apart. She told all of her ambassadors that she wanted weekly updates from all of the clans. If there were any conflicts she wanted to be able to address them before they led into a bigger conflict.
Polis flourished under the peaceful months, commerce came into the marketplace, everyday goods were exported and imported. It was a strange thing to see reports of food stores and treasury instead of casualty reports. Sitting on her throne Lexa read over the last of the reports for the day. They were in the process of establishing what Clarke and Abby called a hospital, it had kept Clarke busy and given her time to spend with her mother. Abby said it was important for there to be a place for the sick. Prevent potential outbreaks whenever illnesses came through the city.
“The child brought from the North…” Talia stopped, she had been reading about it’s progress. Lexa hadn’t seen the baby since that first glimpse. It would eventually go to the orphanage and become wards of the Commander. Lexa would occasionally go and see the children, make sure they were taken care of before they were given their assignments.
“What of it?” Lexa asked rubbing her eyes, her eyes burned from having read for so long.
“They say that he is perfectly healthy.”
“Good. Abby said that he was born stillborn?”
“He was born not breathing, but they were able to bring him back.” Talia didn’t understand the science of it. Abby had tried to explain to her how they had done it and why it worked. But Talia wasn’t really concerned with that.
“I suppose my spirit was not ready to leave me yet.”
“The Commander’s spirit will be with you for many more years.”
“Between you and Clarke, I do not think that I have much choice in the matter.” Lexa commented with a small smile.
“Heda, I want to discuss something with you.” Talia started, Lexa looked up sharply, Talia didn’t call Lexa by her title. Not in private anyway.
“Anything.” Lexa said standing and closing the distance between them. Talia looked away, looking almost sheepish.
“I want to go away from Polis for a while.” Lexa felt her heart stop at the request. That was what it was. Talia would never leave if Lexa didn’t tell her that it was alright. But the fact that she was asking, it made Lexa break a little bit inside.
“You want to leave?” Lexa asked.
“I was thinking about going to spend time with Luna.”
“For how long?” Talia looked away, she didn’t want to say the words. Leaving Lexa was something that she thought she would never do. But she wasn’t needed anymore. They were at peace, and Lexa had Clarke. That was enough for her. she had done her duty and now it was time to pass the title of Clarke.
“I have held this position until you found your own wife. I have taught Clarke what she needs to know, but she doesn’t need my instruction anymore. She will support you better than I can.” Talia heard her voice crack as her sentence went on.
“Why do you want to go? You have a place here. Who has made you feel differently?” Lexa demanded. Thinking that someone had to have said something, there was no way that Talia would want to leave her otherwise.
“You don’t need me anymore Lexa.”
“Yes I do!”
“You think that you do because you don’t know any different. Mentors know when their pupils are ready to go off on their own. Anya knew it when you stopped being her Second. Gustus knew it too, you don’t need my guidance anymore. You have Clarke.”
“That’s different.”
“Lexa, I have to do this. I have spent the majority of my life here. I want to explore; I want to see the world. One day I may come back; I won’t say that I won’t. And I will always be here if you need me. But I promise you, that you don’t need me.” Talia insisted. She saw the pain crossing Lexa’s face and that only made it harder. She was abandoning Lexa, and even though Lexa didn’t need her, that didn’t make the hurt any less.
“Go then.” Lexa said in barely a whisper. She couldn’t deny Talia this if it was something that she thought that she needed.
“Lexa…”
“May you find the peace you are looking for.” Lexa cut her off and turned away signaling that the conversation was done. She didn’t want Talia to see the tears as they fell down her cheeks and collected along the edge of her jaw.
Clarke was surprised when she returned back to their bedroom late that night and found that Lexa was nowhere to be found. Lexa usually was able to retire earlier now that there was peace. She was usually reading or occasionally Clarke would come and see Lexa still pouring over reports. But when she walked in and found the bedroom was empty, lit by the candles that littered the room Clarke was concerned. Her entire body ached, she was tired, setting up the hospital was a lot of work. Still she went in search for Lexa.
In the end it wasn’t that hard to find the brunette, she just needed to find the guards. There were always two guard waiting outside the room that Lexa occupied. They were still standing outside of the throne room. When she approached, neither of them moved out of her way in order to allow her to pass.
“Move aside.” Clarke commanded. The guards looked at one another and seemed to contemplate if they should actually move. Finally, they made the decision and they moved aside.
The throne room was dark, Lexa hadn’t bothered to light any candles and she had instructed that no one was to come in. After she had spoken to Talia, Lexa just wanted to be alone. When she heard the door open, Lexa didn’t have to look to know that it was Clarke. Her guards wouldn’t have allowed anyone else in. She sat in the doorway of her balcony, hidden behind her throne to anyone who wasn’t looking specifically for her. Her legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, she looked out at Polis. Bathed in the moonlight that shone over the city.
“What happened?” Clarke asked, the moonlight caused the streaks of tears to shimmer in the soft light. This was one of the few times Clarke had ever seen Lexa openly cry. Lexa swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, intending to answer and yet she couldn’t get the words out. “Lexa?”
Kneeling in front of the brunette Clarke tried to get Lexa to look at her, but the brunette wouldn’t. Not right away. With each silent moment that passed Clarke felt her worry grow. She couldn’t imagine what could have happened that would make Lexa so sad. Cupping Lexa’s face, she made the Commander look at her and she repeated her question.
“Talia is leaving.” Lexa answered finally. It took a moment for Clarke to understand what Lexa meant, and why it was causing Lexa such distress. But then she realized how much this was hurting Lexa and why.
“Where is she going?”
“To spend time with Luna. She said that she needs time to herself now that I don’t need her anymore.” Lexa explained. She hated how much she felt like this was a betrayal, an abandonment from someone that she had trusted. But she couldn’t help it. Talia had always been there, her entire life Talia had been there and now she wouldn’t be. And she was willingly leaving, she’d always thought that the only thing that would take Talia from her was death. Maybe that was selfish of her, in fact she knew that it was. But she couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry.” Clarke said knowing that Lexa wouldn’t hear anything else that she said.
“I lose everyone. Eventually. Costia, Anya, Gustus, and now Talia.” Clarke tried not to let Lexa’s words sting. Lexa didn’t mean them the way they were said. And Clarke knew that, she could be upset by them later, when Lexa wasn’t so broken.
“You aren’t losing Talia. She wants to go and see if she can be happy with Luna and her people. Don’t you want her to be happy?”
“Of course I want her to be happy. But she can be happy here right?”
“I’m sure she could. But, think about it from her perspective. Every room, every hallway probably reminds her of her wife. Think about how you were haunted by Costia. That is probably what Talia feels everyday. Don’t you want her to free from that?” Clarke asked running her fingers through Lexa’s hair trying to give her the comfort that she needed. Lexa nodded silently, she wanted the best for Talia. But that didn’t mean that she was happy about it.
“She has always been there. Since I can remember, Talia was always there. She taught me everything I needed to know. She was there for every injury, every hard lesson that I needed to learn. She was there for Costia. I don’t know how to be without having her in my life.” Lexa explained. Clarke nodded, she couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. Straddling Lexa’s lap, Clarke pulled Lexa to her and felt the brunette nestle against her shoulder. They stayed like that until Clarke’s legs went numb and she was sure Lexa’s had too, but neither of them made any effort to move. They would stay as long as it took for Lexa to feel better.
Talia had feared that Lexa wouldn’t come to see her off. But Lexa didn’t disappoint her. Walking down the steps to where she waited Lexa stood in front of Talia, the sadness still plain on her face. But she forced a smile.
“This is not goodbye forever Lexa.” Talia reminded Lexa, wrapping her arms around Lexa and pulling her in for a tight hug. Lexa nodded softly against the older woman.
“I know. You are always welcome here.” Lexa vowed.
“I am only a messenger away.”
“Tell Luna, she needs to take care of you or she will answer to me.” Talia laughed and pulled away from Lexa, her arms dropping.
“I’m sure she will.” Talia answered. Looking behind Lexa, Talia’s gaze fell on Clarke. The blonde staying a respectful distance away allowing them their privacy. “Take care of her.” Talia instructed. Taking the invitation to come closer Clarke approached them.
“I will.”
“Travel safe.”
Lexa and Clarke watched Talia asked she rode off, being followed by several of Lexa’s best guards.
“You okay?” Clarke asked as they turned back to go inside.
“I will be. Things are going to change won’t they?”
“Nothing we can’t handle.” Clarke said linking her fingers with Lexa’s and squeezing gently as they stepped into the elevator.