Chapter Text
2 Weeks Later.
Day Before Babies First Birthday.
“Come on, I know you can do it, come to mommy!” Maya nearly squealed as Stella stood on very wobbly legs, with no assistance.
It was a beautiful summer afternoon and Maya and her girls were all seated on the family room floor, spending time together.
There was a good amount of open space in the family room, despite the very large sofas and moderately sized circular wooden table in the middle, as the area to the left wall, where the fire place was, and front of the room where the tv was hung on the wall was all open, with a few toy buckets for the girls.
There was also a soft carpet in that room, both women wanting it to feel like a very cozy and homey space, and that’s where Maya, Stella, and Layla were right now.
Both babies were so, so close to taking their first steps, so Maya had been encouraging them all afternoon since they had woken up from their first nap, and now, Stella stood, completely unassisted, but nearly paralyzed, unable to move her legs forward. The circular table was right next her, as she had been using it to pull herself up every couple minutes.
Layla on the other hand was quite over it, much more content to sit in her mommy’s lap and she played with a squeaky giraffe, occasionally gnawing on its smooth ears.
“Baby, come, it’s okay, come to mommy,” she kept encouraging softly as Stella wobbled, her gummy mouth open as she tried to mimicking the movements of Maya’s mouth, her arms slightly moving up and down as she tried to keep her balance.
Stella’s little legs got too tired though, and she plopped onto her bottom, letting out a little grunt, now crawling the short distance over to Maya who sat cross legged on the floor.
“That’s okay baby, you did so good. You stood like such a big girl,” Maya cooed as Stella put her hands on Maya’s knee, patting playfully as she babbled at Layla in her lap.
Stella maneuvered herself a bit, pulling herself up on Maya’s clothes, now leaning against her, holding onto her shoulder as she looked up at Maya, slightly looking around the room too.
“Mamma?” Stella said, her face a slight mixture between confused and sad.
They had started off the day all together, all home.
Their work schedules had lined up so that they both had today, and the day after tomorrow off, and both had additionally taken the actual day of the babies birthday off, allowing the family to have 3 days together.
But then, a little bit before the girls first nap, Carina had gotten an urgent call to the hospital after one of her patients, who was only at 28 weeks, was having severe abdominal pain.
She was reluctant at first, feeling guilty for leaving her family on a day they were supposed to spend time together, those days sometimes rare, but Maya ensured her that it was okay. They weren’t setting up for the party until tonight and tomorrow, and Carina hoped to be in and out within a few hours max.
So, Carina left, only leaving after finishing putting the girls to sleep herself very quickly, feeling bad that she wouldn’t be there when they woke up.
That is what led to her little blonde being confused about where her mamma was, as she knew she had been there just a little while ago. They had both cried for her when they woke up, but were instantly calmed by Maya who swooped into their room and smothered them with hugs and kisses, assuring that mamma would be home soon.
“She’ll be back soon, Stella. Mamma will be back soon,” Maya cooed, knowing Stella probably didn’t fully understand what the meant, but hoping that her soft tone and reassuring smile would be enough.
“Mamee, mam mam mum, mamee,” Stella babbled happily, leaning forward and putting her mouth on Maya’s cheek, clearly content with that answer, now showing her mommy adorably and slightly drooly affection.
“Yes, it’s mommy. Thank you very much,” Maya giggled as she used her shoulder to wipe off the excess slobber, Stella still wobbling against her, only supporting herself with her fingertips on Maya’s shoulder.
“Sop hee, sop heee,” Layla babbled, also wanting some attention from Maya as she played with Sophie the giraffe, squeaking it over and over, giggling each time.
“Yes, is that your favourite giraffe? Do you love it?” Maya said sweetly, pressing a kiss to the side of Layla’s cheek as the baby shifted to look up at Maya, smiling as Maya spoke to her in the little voice that was just for her girls.
“Sop hee,” Layla repeated, holding it up to Maya’s face, showing her the slightly slobber covered toy, Maya smiling and making faces at it nonetheless, causing Layla to giggle.
Maya’s attention was pulled back to Stella when the little girl pulled her hand off of Maya’s shoulder and began crawling towards the table, her baby definitely determined to pull herself up and stand as much as she could.
She watched as Stella’s fluffy blonde hair slightly came in her eyes as she crawled, her adorable chubby little hands smacking and gripping into the carpet with each movement.
Layla continued to babble at her little giraffe as Stella pulled herself up against the table, turning to face Maya, only using her left to hold the table.
“Good job Baby!” Maya exclaimed as Stella took a little step away from the table, still holding onto it, as far as her little arm would stretch.
But then too many things happened all at once.
Layla flinched hard in Maya’s lap, then began crying loudly, as she had accidently poked herself in the eye while she chewed on her little giraffes ears.
By instinct, in response to said, very loud crying, Maya moved the hand that had been hovering by Stella’s side to turn Layla around in her lap and get a look at her face as she continued to cry.
And then, Stella lost her balance as she finally tried to take a step, causing her to fall to the ground, hitting the corner of her head on the edge of the round table.
Maya heard the thud, and it was pretty loud, before she even registered that Stella had fallen.
Time seemed to stop just for a second, and then, Stella began screaming.
Maya jumped into action immeadetly, unable to put Layla down because she was crying too.
She held her against her body with one hand as she quickly slid the very small distance forward to Stella, the blonde baby screaming and crying, face down on the carpet.
“Oh shit,” Maya nearly gasped as she carefully supported Stella’s neck and turned her over, seeing an angry dark mark forming in the left corner of Stella’s forehead from where she hit it on the table.
The mark that probably would’ve been a very deep cut had there been a square table with rectangular edges, as opposed to a circular table with a round rim.
Thankfully, Layla seemed so startled by the shrieking of her sister, that her own cries seized, her attention stuck on Stella too, and Maya was able to put her down right beside them, now carefully supporting Stella’s neck as she picked her up, just in case she got hurt worse than she thought.
Maya tried to get a better look at the darkening bruise, but Stella was inconsolable, pushing her face against Maya’s shoulder, only further aggravating the injury, making her cry more.
Stella was crying louder than Maya had ever heard in months, as loud as she had only cried when she got her vaccinations, and her face was turning red, probably from the pain and from how out of breath she was.
“Stella, Stella, you’re okay, it’s okay,” Maya tried to say as convincingly as she could, but even she was scared.
Stella usually didn’t even cry when she fell, even when she took decently hard stumbles to the ground. Layla usually did, mostly because it scared her, so for Stella to be crying, and crying at this level of intensity meant that she was actually hurt very badly. The mark that literally seemed to be getting worse by the second was proof enough.
She didn’t know if she could even say, “you’re okay”, cause what if she wasn’t? Maya usually wasn’t like this.
She was sure of her self.
Assess the situation, deal with it accordingly.
But this wasn’t some arbitrary situation, some nameless person out in the field who needed treatment.
This was her child. Her child who was hurt, and who hadn’t stopped screaming, barely able to breathe for nearly 5 minutes.
Her child whose skull and fragile little brain was still developing.
Her child who had a horrible mark forming on her forehead, who was literally shaking in her arms.
“Stella, shh, shhh, my love, you have to breathe,” Maya begged, rubbing Stella’s back before trying to switch her to a cradle so she could see her face a bit better.
Stella wouldn’t budge though, clinging to Maya, her fingers digging into the flesh of Maya’s bicep, just crying and crying more.
At this point, Maya knew there was only one place to go.
This was her babies head.
Her skull. Her brain.
She hadn’t gotten a little scratch on her nose or scraped her finger or accidentally fallen too hard on her bottom.
There was no such thing as being too cautious, too safe when it came to her babies.
She needed to make sure Stella was okay, so she scooped up Layla, holding Stella securely in the other arm, making her way to the car so she could take her baby to the ER.
~•~
“Okay, doctor Helm over there will finish discharging you, but I don’t want you to worry about the baby. He is completely fine. Kidney stones are extremely painful, and can be very dangerous as well, so you did the right thing by coming here. Dr. Bailey and I will be monitoring you closely for the next several weeks until your due date. We both agree that it’s best to wait until after you deliver to take care of the stones, but if -
A very loud, very sharp, very familiar cry began to register in Carina’s ear. It sounded like it was coming across the room, but there was no way, Carina thought.
It paused for a second as the baby took a short breath, but when the cry resumed just a second later, Carina knew that was her baby. She knew it was Stella.
She opened the curtain, horrified to see that Maya being led to a bed, both babies in her arms, Stella screaming in pain as Laya watched, scared and confused.
“I am so sorry, I need to go. Helm!” Carina called, not taking her eyes off their family as they navigated through the busy ER.
Helm was there instantly, Carina giving her the tablet with her information, letting her know to discharge her accordingly, and then Carina was gone, running across the room to where Maya was now trying to place Stella on the bed, the baby clinging onto her neck and shoulder, arching her back, refusing to let go.
“Maya? Maya, what happened?!” Carina asked worriedly, her heart beating out of her chest as she came up behind them, also not used to ever hearing Stella cry like that.
Maya looked over her shoulder but felt the words stuck in her throat.
How was she supposed to explain how it all happened?
She could barely form thoughts, let alone words. She felt so guilty.
“She.. we were, I was,” she tried so spit out, Carina trying to get a better look at Stella whose face was hidden in Maya’s shoulder and arm, refusing to be put on the bed.
“Stella, cucciola, let me see, let mamma see,” Carina cooed, her lips pursed and eyebrows crunched as she bent down, rubbing her back gently.
It was finally when she heard Carina’s voice that she lifted her little face up, red, covered in tears, an angry red mark on her forehead.
She reached for her immediately, Carina taking her under her arms and then holding her close to her body, one arm around Stella, the other cradling the back of her head.
“Carina, I was right there, I swear, there was, she was by the table and then Layla’s giraffe went in her eyes and then,”
“It’s okay, let’s just get her checked,” Carina said, slightly interrupting her ramble, Stella’s cry in her ear the only thing she could focus on. Schmitt was there, waiting to get a look at Stella, but Carina saw Amelia walking out of one of the trauma rooms, and immediately called her over.
“Carina, it happened so fast, I didn’t mean to move my hand, I,” Maya continued, her face red too as she pushed her hair back, holding Layla on her hip.
“Maya, I need you to calm down right now so that we can focus on Stella, okay?” Carina said, soft, yet firm at the same time. They could talk later, right now they needed to calm Stella down and make sure she was okay, and that was impossible with the amount of panic that Maya was radiating off of herself.
Maya swallowed hard and nodded, trying to take a grounding breath as Amelia jogged to their corner, closing the curtain as she excused Schmitt, wanting to give the family privacy as many people at the hospital knew them.
“Amelia, she hit her head pretty hard. She’s been crying like this for almost 20 minutes now, I didn’t know what to do,” Maya said as Carina managed to get Stella on the bed, the baby still screaming as she tried to hold on to Carina’s hair, Carina remaining as close as she could while still giving space for Amelia to work.
“Okay, you did the right thing. If it was a hard fall and she directly hit her head you should always go to a doctor,” Amelia said calmly, moving her flashlight between Stella’s eyes, the babies cries starting to lessen in intensity as she tired herself out, still crying, but not screaming so much.
Amelia moved to the left top side of the bed, needing to examine the mark itself, giving Carina room to put her nose against Stella’s, Carina’s hands holding her face, wiping her tears with her thumbs as she whispered softly, Stella’s little hands mirroring her Mamma’s as she held the sides of Carina’s face, sniffling and hiccuping as she cried a little less with the flashlight gone from her face.
“Okay, tell me what happened,” Amelia said, giving Stella a moment to calm down with Carina.
“She was standing next to the table, less than a foot away, and then lost her balance and hit her head on it on the way down. It has a rounded edge, not a square edge,” Maya explained, her jaw flexing as she remembered the awful thudding sound.
“Did she lose consciousness at any point?” Amelia asked, very gently moving Stella’s blonde hair away from the mark, examining it closely as Stella remained focused on Carina, on her soft touches and whispering.
“No,” Maya responded, wincing as she saw the mark without the obstruction of fluffy blonde hair.
“Any vomiting?
“No, none,” Maya replied, exhaling deeply as Stella’s cries mostly reduced to sniffles and hiccups and whimpers.
“Did she stop breathing at any moment? Either from crying or from shock?” Amelia asked, taking off her gloves and discarding them, taking out her tablet and starting a chart for Stella.
“No, I mean she was crying really really hard , screaming too but she never stopped breathing. She didn’t turn blue or anything. Just really red,” Maya explained.
“Okay. Carina, can you move her head, very gently. Side to side and then up and down,” Amelia asked.
Carina nodded, keeping her face right in front of Stella’s, the tips of their noses touching, her hands still cradling her babies face as she gently turned Stella’s head to the left, then to the right.
This didn’t seem to bother her at all, the little blonde still sniffling and hiccuping, her cheeks red and her eyes puffy.
Carina then carefully tilted her baby’s head up, and then down, still getting no negative reaction from Stella. No indication of pain.
“Okay, perfect. That’s exactly what I wanted to see,” Amelia said, typing something into Stella’s chart. “It doesn’t seem like she has a concussion at all. She has none of the symptoms, hasn’t thrown up or lost consciousness , and doesn’t have any trouble moving her neck and head. She was able to calm down, and engaged with my light and Carina’s voice, all signs that, neurologically, she’s fine. She might be a bit shaken up, and that bruise definetly is hurting, but she’ll be just fine,” Amelia said, Carina now picking Stella up, tucking her against her chest, Stella’s head in the crook of her mamma’s neck, her one hand around Carina’s shoulder and neck while the other held on the the collar of her scrubs.
“Are you sure? You don’t think she needs any scans?” Maya said, coming to Carina’s side, rubbing her hand up and down Stella’s back.
“No, I think the small amount of radiation is unnecessary. Unless she begins exhibiting symptoms of a concussion in the next 48 hours, you guys have nothing to worry about. Kids fall and take tumbles, especially at this age when they are learning to walk. It happens. She is very lucky though that it wasn’t the corner of a sharp edged table. That would’ve been a cut that required stitches for sure. If it makes you feel better, I will do a full neural check on her tomorrow when I come for the party, but I’m not sure that’s a desirable birthday activity,” Amelia joked, trying to reassure the obviously shaken parents that their child was okay.
Carina smiled lightly at her friend, squeezing her arm in appreciation. “So we’re good to go?”
“Yes, you’re good to go. Feel better, get some rest and lots of snuggles,” Amelia cooed, bending down, lightly rubbing Stella’s arm.
“Thank you, so much,” Maya said as she switched Layla to her other arm, Amelia coming to say goodbye to the little brunette too, Layla playfully grabbing Amelia’s finger.
“You’re welcome. Take a breath, she’s okay. She going to be fine,” Amelia said as she saw how Maya’s face looked, worry still in every feature.
Maya nodded and smiled at her before turning back to her family, Carina kissing Stella’s forehead and nose repeatedly, rubbing her back comfortingly.
“Carina, I am so sorry, I just, I don’t know,”
“I know, Bambina,” she said, turning her attention to Maya, then to little Layla who still looked a little shaken herself, her gaze never leaving Stella. “Ciao tesoro, you were so brave for your sister. So brave,” Carina whispered as she stroked Layla’s face, rubbing her thumb over her eyebrow before kissing her cheek.
“Tewwa,” Layla said, point at Stella, the newest addition to her vocabulary, though the S and L sound were too hard, making her pronunciation all the more adorable.
“Sí, Stella got hurt. But she’s okay, see?” Carina cooed, tilting Stella to her.
Carina then looked up into Maya’s eyes, seeing that she wanted to say more, her mouth literally twitching, a horrible combination of fear and guilt and worry and everything in between written all over her face.
“Let’s go home, we will talk there. Are you okay to drive?” she asked softly, seeing that Maya clearly looked tense.
“Yeah, yeah, I can,” Maya said, as they both had cars that needed to come home.
“Okay, let’s go. I’ll help you load them in your car and then we will drive behind each other,” Carina said, leading the way out the doors to the emergency parking lot.
Maya was slightly surprised, following her wife silently.
She was so confused, her brain always playing tricks on her in situations when she already felt like shit.
And feeling responsible for your child getting hurt, and wondering if your wife was mad at you definetly made her feel like shit.
Carina didn’t seem mad at her. She was still being loving and soft. More so though, she was fine with Maya taking Stella home in her car.
Part of her felt so guilty that she was sure Carina wouldn’t let Stella out of her sight, that she wouldn’t leave her alone with Maya right now.
But that was just her own insecurity, her own feelings of disappointment and self loathing.
Those feelings weren’t Carina’s, they were Maya’s and Maya’s only.
The real task was getting herself to understand that.
They loaded the babies up in relative silence, Stella so worn out from crying for the length and intensity that she did that she barely put up any fight going into the car seat, whimpering slightly until Carina gave Stella her favorite teething ring.
Maya got Layla all secured too, heading to the drivers side where Carina was waiting, a soft smile on her face.
“I’ll see you at home,” Carina said softly, squeezing Maya’s hand before heading over to the lot where her own car was parked.
Carina exhaled deeply as she got into her own car, running her palms done her thighs as she took a moment to calm down from a a slight adrenaline high.
It was once again, one of those moments where she realized that being a parent was scary.
Seeing your child in pain, was scary.
Hearing your child in pain, was scary.
But Carina also found it hard to stop thinking about Maya as she drove home, a few cars behind Maya, smiling as she saw the extra cautious way she was driving.
She hated that Maya felt so guilty, and she hated even more that she couldn’t comfort her in that moment.
But she would do it again, she knew Stella needed their undivided attention at that point in time, and she knew Maya knew that too.
She just wanted to get out of there, get her babies away from the ER and all the germs that were definetly floating around, and out of the parking lot where there was little to no privacy whatsoever.
She needed to let Maya know that everything was okay, that she wasn’t mad at her. She had tried her best to convey that, non verbally, through her touches and soft tone, but she had a feeling her wife may need it a bit more clearly after having been so spooked.
They pulled in a short drive later, Carina hopping out quickly to get the girls out.
She went to Layla’s side, trying to show in her little actions that her trust in Maya, her faith in her had not wavered one inch, because it hadn’t.
It broke her heart when she saw Maya get out of the car, the slight surprised look as her eyes moved between Stella’s side, Carina, and Layla in her arms.
Nonetheless, Maya got her out little blonde out of the car, holding her so delicately, so softly that it made Carina want to cry.
The peppering of kisses all over Stella’s face, Stella’s soft whimper of Mommy as she held onto Maya’s hair and face, and whispered apologies in Stella’s ear was too much, and Carina in fact did find herself tearing up as made it to the front door.
Maya pulled the keys out of her back pocket and opened the door, kicking her shoes off before turning around, seeing a red eyed Carina coming in behind her, Carina clearly trying to turn her face away.
“Carina, god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I, I didn’t… here, take her,” Maya said, thinking that having Stella in her own arms would make her wife feel better, would calm her down and assure her that Stella was okay.
“No, Bambina, I don’t, I’m fine, I’m fine, I just, I got overwhelmed, come here, please, come here,” Carina slightly rambled, sniffling through her words.
Maya stood slightly frozen, still confused, still battling between what her brain was trying to tell her, and what was so clearly the reality.
Carina moved for her, keeping Layla securing against her side, being mindful of Stella against Maya’s as she wrapped her arm around Maya’s empty shoulder, caressing the back of her neck.
“I’m so, so sorry,” Maya whispered, a lump forming heavily in her throat.
“I know, my love. I’m not mad at you. I promise,” Carina said reassuringly, kissing the side of Maya’s head. “I was scared, but I’m not mad at you, Bambina.”
Maya finally let out the breath that she had been holding, needing to hear it spelled out for her.
“It really did happen so fast, it was so scary, Carina,” Maya whispered, her voice muffled into her wife’s neck as she held her tightly.
“Come, let’s go sit. Tell me what happened,” Carina said softly as she pulled away, knowing that Maya had been trying to explain herself since it happened.
They made their way to their sofa, both sitting on the end where the longer part was, as they could sit up and stretch their legs out, Layla in Carina’s lap, facing out as she twirled her mamma’s rings around, Stella curled against Maya’s chest and abdomen.
“We were sitting right over there. Layla was in my lap playing with Sophie. Stella was standing next to the table, letting go on and off, just trying to balance, and I had one of my hands next to her just in case. But then Layla started crying, I think she poked herself in the eye while she was chewing on it, and I moved my hand to turn her around. Then I heard the thump, and when looked Stella was face down on the ground. I shouldn’t have moved my hand, I don’t know what I was thinking,” Maya said, shaking her head as she kissed the top of Stella’s forehead, rubbing her back soothingly.
“That must’ve been so scary,” Carina said softly, using the edge of her finger to trace Stella’s chubby cheek, cooing at her softly.
“Carina, she was screaming so hard. She never, ever cries like that. And for a split second, when I saw her, I… I think I froze… just for a second,” Maya said, leaning her head back, turning her face to Carina as she swallowed hard.
Carina bit back a wince as she pictured it, reminding herself that her daughter was okay as she continued to caress her face.
“But you took care of her, you got her to the ER, you made sure she was checked out. You didn’t freeze. You took care of her,” Carina said sweetly, adjusting her arm so that she could cradle the back of Maya’s neck, massaging softly.
“Yeah, after she got a huge mark on her head, the literal day before her birthday,” Maya said, exhaling deeply.
Carina breathed out a slight raspberry too, wrapping her arm around Maya’s shoulders, settling close to her side. “You know, Andrea had a little scar, right on his forehead. He got that the day before his 3rd birthday. I was watching him, I was 9. He loved to climb on shelves and dressers and literally just everything dangerous possible. I told him a hundred times to stop, and then he knocked over a vase and it shattered. I was trying to clean it up before my papa came home and I wasn’t watching Andrea as closely and he fell. It was a very small, but deep cut. It bled so much. All over the floor and on his clothes,” Carina explained, Maya sitting up a bit, her eyes switching to something softer, compassionate as opposed to upset.
“Did you get in trouble?” Maya asked softly, knowing that there had been a lot, too much pressure on a young version of her wife who was expected to look after everyone.
“My papa was furious. Even my mamma was a bit upset. We were having a huge party for Andrea the next night, and he had ‘ruined his face’ and it was all my fault. I felt horrible, but at the end of the day, it was an accident. I learned from it and tried to make sure it never happened again, but even then, kids get hurt. It’s a part of growing up. One day this will be a funny and crazy story to look back on, please don’t be too hard on yourself,” Carina asked softly.
Maya sighed as she looked at her, wondering how Carina had so much compassion and understanding to give.
Either way, she was beyond thankful for it.
“Sorry for probably freaking you out in the ER,” Maya said softly. It was the last thing she wanted, needed, to apologize for. She couldn’t even imagine how terrifying it would’ve been for Carina to see or hear her baby in the ER like that.
“Ouff, yeah, that…” Carina slightly chuckled, still resting against Maya’s side. “That was… at first I thought my brain was playing tricks on me, remember when we thought we thought we heard them-
“Crying at the store on our anniversary? Even though that was physically impossible?” Maya chuckled, finishing the sentence, remembering how they had stopped for snacks on their road trip and could’ve sworn they heard identical crying sounds to their own babies.
“Exactly! I thought it was one of those at first but as it got closer I knew it actually was our baby. I was scared because she was crying so hard but also you looked terrified and the mark and all of that, but she calmed down and I could see she was okay, or at least going to be okay soon,” Carina explained, validating her own fear, without adding anything to Maya’s guilt, her tone soft.
“She calmed down so fast with you,” Maya whispered, her eyes sparkling in that way whenever she thought about how loving of a Mamma Carina was.
“It’s no different with you,” Carina replied, looking down at Stella whose one hand was resting on Maya’s jaw and neck, the other pinching the skin of her tricep area as she snuggled in to Maya’s neck.
Maya smiled, looking down at her daughter who was content to just snuggle, still hiccuping very occasionally.
Maya wrapped her arms around her tighter, feeling her weight against her, sighing as she felt Carina lean more heavily against her too, Layla turning around to lean against Carina’s chest, just as Stella was leaning against Maya’s.
And even though they had a lot to do, a lot to set up for the party, a house that still had boxes shoved in rooms, things left to unpack, Maya found herself perfectly content right where she was.