Chapter Text
Stede was dying.
“Oh, stop being so dramatic,” Stede said. “I’m fine.”
Which would’ve been more reassuring if it weren’t followed by a coughing fit so violent it shook his entire body.
No, Stede wasn’t dying. He was just laid up in bed for the past day with whatever illness is going through the crew. No big deal, Stede had said, he used to get sick like this all the time back home. He’d make it through. He wasn’t dying. Except, everyone was trending towards dying, aren’t they? Kind of the thing about living, that it always ended with death. So, Ed definitely had something to worry about.
The coughing subsided with some water, but Stede still looked like shit. Said with love.
Ed felt Stede’s forehead. He was warm. More than earlier? Hm.
“You know,” Stede said, “you could check my temperature anally if you’re concerned.”
He was well enough to talk dirty, so that was a good sign.
“Maybe later.” Ed could pretend he was Stede’s doctor. Give him a thorough exam. That’d be fun. “What’d you do to feel better before?”
“Rest, mostly. Just have to wait it out. Laudanum would help the cough and the congestion.”
They didn’t have any of that on board. Used up the last of it on a raid last week when they had a tricky run-in with the Spanish navy. They had won, of course, but not without a few injuries.
“I’ll be okay.” Stede took Ed’s hand, squeezed it. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Too late.”
Ed always worried about Stede. If he was safe, if he was happy. If he was having all his needs tended to. Telling Ed not to worry about Stede was like telling him not to breathe. What’s the use of him having a good time if Stede wasn’t having a good time with him?
Another coughing fit took over and it was really fucking worrisome and also kinda fucking gross when Stede hacks up mucus. But Ed wiped his nose and gave him more water and told him to go to sleep. “And that’s an order.”
“Aye, captain,” Stede replied. He shut his eyes. “Stay until I fall asleep?”
“Anything for you, babe.”
It wasn’t long until Stede dozed off, but Ed stayed and watched over him while he thought up a plan. Plans always made Ed feel better. Enough wallowing and shit. Get things done.
Firstly, he was going to find out who brought the sickness on board and exile them.
Then, he was setting a course.
Fuck this humidity, fuck mosquitos, fuck the plants that keep getting in his way. How the fuck is it so hot on land? This could be a new brand of torture. Dress someone in leather head-to-toe and put them in the sun to bake.
“Hurry it up! We are on a mission!”
And Ed is on a mission to get the fuck out of here.
The only good thing about this escapade is Stede’s outfit. Ed fucking loves the silly hat and the slutty shirt with all the buttons and short sleeves that show off Stede’s arms, the muscles all flexing and skin all freckly.
“So, we’re either here,” Stede says, pointing to a place on the totally-not-a-real-treasure map, “or possibly down here,” pointing to another place on the opposite side of it.
Ed hunches his shoulders up. Everyone’s looking at them. Well, at him, mostly. It’s been a while since he’s stopped at St. Augustine — not since it became touristy — but the unfortunate part of making yourself an image is that you’re recognized wherever you go. He can’t just have a nice day hanging out with his friend-and-husband-to-be (since they’re going to be together again, duh) without someone coming up and going hey Blackbeard what have you been up to? and wanting a story with the idea they have of Blackbeard in their mind. Gore, violence, bad stuff. What about something nice? Nobody wants to hear about when he helped baby sea turtles to the ocean (although it did have a bit of gore, he was attacked by fucking seagulls).
Someone points at him. He puts his hand over his eyes. Fuuuuck.
“Why’re you hiding your face?” Stede asks.
“I’m freakin’ Blackbeard, man,” Ed hisses. “I can’t be seen treasure hunting.”
“Oh, come on,” Stede says. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. Nobody’s going to recognize you.”
Bless Stede's optimism, but he's wrong. Perfect example: some chucklefuck comes up to them, gawking. “Hey, Blackbeard! Treasure! Treasure hunting—!”
Ed has his dagger out and at the guy’s throat before he can have a moment of self-reflection and realize it’s probably an overreaction. Now everyone is really looking at him. Including Stede, in a very what-the-fuck-was-that-all-about way.
“Right,” he says. “I’ll be hiding over there by that tree whenever you decide wherever the fuck it is we’re going.”
And maybe he is a bit dramatic with his stomp-off but he’s pissed off! He’s supposed to be having a day with Stede but Stede has been spending more time with Lucius than with him. Like now, they’re cozied up close together, chatting
Maybe in this timeline, Stede got around to putting it in his scribe. Jesus christ, Ed didn’t even think of that. Before, Stede did admit that the boy was attractive and Lucius is a bit of a slut. Stede is an easy lay. Ed knows from firsthand experience. What if…
…No, there’s no way they’re fucking. Lucius would be crowing about it and Stede wouldn’t be so fucking tense if he were regularly getting some.
Lucius says something to Stede, who then makes a face and gives Lucius a playful shove.
Fuck this.
Ed grabs a branch that’s in his way, rips it from the tree.
That’s it. When they get back to the ship, Ed is going to do something about it.
“This is when I’m obligated to say that I don’t think this is necessary,” Izzy was saying, “but I suspect you don’t give a fuck what I think.”
“And you’d be correct.”
Ed stood at the bow of the Queen Anne’s Revenge, decked out in all his gear so if anyone looked out they would see, oh shit, that really was Blackbeard!
Izzy kept on. “It’s just a bit excessive. We could’ve just gone on shore and nabbed what we needed. Or you know, buy it.”
“But where’s the fun in that?”
This was part of the plan, which was going wonderfully by the way. It had taken them only a day’s travel to get to Charles Town. The siege of the port had been easy. Their fleet outgunned them — Ed had all his ships come, the Queen Anne and the Adventure and Stede’s Revenge. Ed only had to give a warning shot to inspire the sailors to surrender as hostages. The Navy wasn’t present, and Ed and his crew would be long gone by the time they came to the town’s aid. They were at his mercy.
Ivan and Fang went off a few hours ago in a tender with Ed’s demands: four hundred pounds of medication.
And a pie. Two of ‘em. Whatever’s in season. Not rhubarb though. Ick. Entirely for medical purposes. Stede would need a treat after he was feeling better. Because he was going to feel better. Of course. Stede couldn’t die. They hadn’t had enough time together yet.
“What if the governor says no?” Izzy asked.
“He won’t.” Ed shrugged. “If he does, we’ll start killing the hostages.”
“Edward. You can’t hold up an entire city because your boyfriend—”
“Husband.”
“—has the sniffles.”
“I’ve done more for less.”
What was it that Spriggs called him? Extra. Fuck that shit, Ed wasn’t extra. Yeah, so what, one time he burned down a store because they didn’t have a shirt in his size. Seemed like an appropriate response to him, ‘cause it was rude not to have what he wanted. Got his hopes up and shit. Or when he abandoned a ship because he found a nest of spiders hiding in the gun deck. Who wants a spider ship? They’d probably mutiny. So, Izzy could shut the fuck up with his fuckin’ judgey face, because nothing was too much for Stede.
“Watch the fucking line,” Ed ordered. He didn’t stick around to hear Izzy grumble or pull another oh be reasonable, Edward face. He had his sick husband to take care of.
It’s somehow even warmer and he’s fucking starving, so it’s really hard to be enthusiastic about the bug Stede finds. Dragon camp ruby camera or whatever. Stede should be looking at him like that, and Ed should be on his finger.
A mosquito tries to fly up his nose. That’s it. He punches in the direction of the bloodsucker. “Fuck this! I’m going back to the ship.”
Insects are Ed’s new enemy. Stede can keep the cute ones like butterflies or those fuzzy caterpillars that are venomous but fuck the rest. He’s gonna kill them all. Then, he’s going to tell Stede everything. The wacky repeating life bullshit, their love at first sight romance, and everything else. Stede likes stories, and their story is the best one. Except for that ending where they both die pretty horrifically. Stede can help think of a different ending where they end up together forever. Like when he changed the ending of the story of the toy rabbit that turns into a real rabbit because Wee John was too sad when the rabbit didn’t go back to the boy.
“Relax,” Lucius tells him. Fuck off. He doesn’t know shit. Ed can relax. He’s so relaxed. The best at relaxing.
It seems like some kind of sign when a snake falls on his head. He grabs it by the tail and smacks it on the ground a few times. He’ll kill all the snakes along with the insects, starting with this hiss hiss motherfucker. He kicks it, stabs it for good measure, then he collapses against the tree, wheezing.
Lucius is staring at him, and Stede too — when did he get here, and how much of all that did he see?
“According to the map,” Stede says, “there are snakes in the area, so… just be careful.”
Normally, Ed likes it when Stede is a bit of an asshole with him — that he’s comfortable enough to razz him — but Ed isn’t in the mood! He’s getting attacked by wildlife and it’s too fucking hot and Stede isn’t giving him a kiss on the cheek to make him feel better. Worst day ever.
“Ed, wait for us!” Stede calls after Ed as he stomps off. “There might be more snakes!”
Damn. Ed has forgotten how brutal Stede can be.
Good thing Ed loves him.
“We’re anchored.”
Ed looked over to Stede. He had fallen asleep in his chair at Stede’s bedside. Even though Stede had told him it was no big deal, he didn’t want him to wake up alone. Besides, where else would he need to be?
“Yeah.” Ed sat forward in his chair, so he was closer to Stede. “Outside of North Carolina.”
Stede wrinkled his brows. “Why there?”
“Picking up some supplies.”
It wasn’t a lie. Ed would tell him about it all later. Stede would probably put up a fuss that Ed didn’t need to go to all that trouble to get him what he needed, and Ed didn’t want to argue yet.
Stede turned on his side to face Ed. “I’m sorry I ruined our date.”
“You haven’t ruined anything,” Ed said. While he would rather be naked on a beach with Stede and hand feeding each other, it wasn’t his fault. “We can still have fun.”
“Sure, it’s a lot of fun wiping my runny nose.”
“Love it. I’ll collect new handkerchiefs to wipe your nose with, and then I’ll wait until it gets all drippy so I can clean it up.”
Stede laughed, but then that started him up coughing again. Ed tried to not be concerned that it sounded worse. Like he dropped a whole tray of glass cups and then was grinding the shards under his boots. Roach had said it would probably get worse before it got better, but still. Stede reached his hand out and Ed had the water ready for him. It spilled over Stede's chin as he drank it down. Ed was kinda afraid Stede was going to choke. He laid his hand on Stede’s back, unsure what to really do.
“I’m fine,” Stede wheezed. He took a deep breath, coughed. “Really.”
Ed didn’t mention when Stede said he was fine when he accidentally cut himself with a knife when he was slicing open an avocado. Him insisting that he was fine didn’t stop him from bleeding a lot and Roach having to sew eight stitches in his palm.
“Sorry I’m being difficult,” Stede had admitted after Ed scolded him for resisting treatment for the avocado incident. “I’m not used to someone caring for me.”
“Me either,” Ed had replied, “but now we’ve got each other, babe.”
And he did a damn good job with it. He helped Stede change into a new nightgown that wasn’t sweaty and he fluffed his pillows so he was comfortable, and he spoon fed Stede some soup and then gave him some whiskey with lemon to soothe his sore throat, followed by a kiss.
“Don’t,” Stede says. “You’ll get sick, too.”
“Perfect. Then you can take care of me,” and then Ed kissed him again.
“Admit it,” Stede says. “This is a bit of fun, isn’t it?”
“Yep.” Ed had been amused by Stede ordering Lucius to fetch the dead snake, and Lucius shrieking like he was being tortured. And it was fun to show off his skills with starting a fire when Stede was struggling. And it was nice when Stede was totally checking him out when he took off his jacket. “The snake’s nice.”
Stede takes a bite of the cooked-up snake. “Hm. It’s actually well tenderized. You could be a chef.”
“Probably could. Maybe I will. I can do anything.” Ed is still a little mad with Stede, mostly for reasons that Stede doesn’t know about. Not his fault but Ed is allowed to be a little petty.
A pause, then Stede says, “I’d come to your restaurant.”
“Well, you might not get in.” Ed plays along with the idea. “It’s gonna be very popular.”
Stede wrinkles his brows, gives him that sad puppy-dog look. “You’d save me a seat, wouldn’t you?”
“Maybe. If you weren’t being a dick,” Ed says. “What night do you want to come?”
“Saturday night.”
“That’s a busy night.”
“I’ll come on Monday.”
“Okay, I can get you in.” Ed pops more of the snake into his mouth. “It’s called Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill and other Delicacies… and Delights. And fishing equipment.”
“Yeah, but who wants to go to dinner and then you walk past all this fishing gear you can buy?” Stede asks. “Maybe a gift shop out the back. Then you can say, ‘Oh, I hope you enjoyed your meal! Have you seen the gift shop?”
Okay, Ed is invested. “What do they say?”
“Oh, no thanks,” Stede says, very seriously. “I’ve just come for a nice meal.”
“Aw, now they’re angry. They’re going to leave a bad review!”
“Another guy from the other side of the room might go, I’m into gifts, I’ll go and have a look.”
“Well, that’s the guy I’m after,” Ed says. “Who’s he?”
Stede grins. “That’s me.”
Man, Stede makes him feel so damn good. Genuinely nothing better. He’s got that glowing like a firefly feeling in his chest, and somehow, he thinks he’s falling even more in love with Stede, what the fuck.
“Oh,” Stede says, and maybe this is it, he’s realized Ed is giving him love-me-fuck-me eyes and that they are Meant to Be.
“Hm?”
Stede points to him. “You’ve got a– a little bit in your beard.”
Shit, that’s embarrassing. Snake beard. Ed pulls at his beard, fingers combing through it.
“Nope.” Stede gestures, pointing. “Come to the– down a bit. Up. Up a little bit.”
Stede is looking at him so intently, with all of his focus. Ed wants to keep that. Has some fun. Stede says up, he goes down. Left, Ed goes to the right.
“Here, I’ll get it,” Stede says, and he wiggles his finger, come here, and Ed leans fucking in. Fuckin’ swooning. It’s a good thing Stede isn’t looking at his eyes while he picks at Ed's beard because then he would see, he would know. Does Stede realize nobody else touches Ed like this? Anyone else try and touch Blackbeard’s beard and they lose their fuckin’ fingers. But Stede could do anything to it and Ed would let him. Yank it (he had, before, it’s great). Cut it off for all he cares. Pick out roasted snake bits. Anything.
“Oh, my god— this is happening.”
“What?” Ed says at the same time as Stede and whoops. Ed had forgotten Lucius was there.
“Nothing,” Lucius says.
Fucking nothing ruined the moment he was having with Stede. Another missed opportunity. Kiss-ortunity.
They’ve got to ditch the scribe.
Ed heard Izzy before he saw him, stomping down the hallway, mad about whatever he was mad about that hour. When he opened the door, Ed put his finger to his lips and nodded towards Stede. If Izzy woke Stede up after he finally dozed off, Ed would have some strong words to say but Izzy jerked his head for Ed to meet him outside. Ed figured he could spare a moment to stretch his legs and that Stede wouldn’t die in the next five minutes, probably, so he followed Izzy out into the hall.
Izzy looked to the room, back to Ed. ”How’s Bonnet?”
It didn’t seem like what Izzy really wanted to say. “You don’t really care, do you?” Ed asked.
“No. Glad we cut the formality," Izzy said. "The boys returned with the reply. The governor agreed to one hundred pounds of medicine.”
Ed would circle back to telling Izzy about Stede anyway, whether he liked it or not. “No deal. Four hundred or we’re gonna fuck ‘em up. What did he say about the pies?”
“Finding the best baker in town. They don’t have much more than a hundred, let alone four. What’re you going to do with that much? Bathe him in it?”
“Maybe, if it helps.”
“Edward—”
“Four hundred.” Ed slapped Izzy on the back. “Make it happen, alright? I know you can do it, Iz.”
“Fine,” was Izzy’s response through gritted teeth. “Can’t let the princess have a stuffy nose.”
“Careful, Izzy. You jest, but that might accidentally turn into genuine compassion.”
“Fuck off.”
Ed thinks that the day may not be so bad after all. He and Stede share a drink from the same canteen, which Ed considers sort of a kiss. That’s nice. And Stede is definitely checking out his tattoos and doing that thing where he’s flirting but doesn’t know he’s flirting. All hope is not lost.
That is, until the fire.
It's going up in flames, metaphorically and literally. Lucius screams how they’re going to burn down the entire town, which doesn’t help the situation and draws more attention to them, shut the fuck up, and Stede watches as though it’s his ship burning to ash. However, Ed saves the day and stomps out the fire before it gets out of control, the only losses being some grass and the paper claiming to be a treasure map.
Good riddance.
Stede goes to his knees, going, “No no no.” He picks through the burned scraps of paper. “This is the worst thing to have ever happened to me.”
A bit of an overstatement, but Ed figures this is one of the times where Stede used to say dammit it, Ed! Just let me be mad!
He goes over by the tree where Lucius is standing. Give Stede his space to mourn, or whatever. He’s sad to see Stede so upset, but it’s Ed who’s had the shit day. His date with Stede was third-wheeled by Lucius, a limbless monster tried to kill him, he’s sweating so much his balls are sticking to his thigh, and he hasn’t been kissed by Stede. Fucking awful day.
“Give it up, Stede,” Ed says. “All adventures have a natural conclusion, and this one is more than fitting.”
“I think I can fix this.” Stede puts two pieces of paper together like a puzzle, shakes his head. “Come on, the day’s not fully ruined.”
Not quite ruined, but Ed doesn’t want to challenge it to get any worse.
“God,” Ed says. “He’ll probably be moping all the way back to the ship.”
“You don’t have to be a dick about it,” Lucius mutters.
Ed turns to him. “What.”
“I said, don't be a dick,” Lucius says, sneering, at Ed. “Okay? ‘Cause he’s put together this whole outing for you.”
“For me?” Ed asks. “Why?”
“Look,” Lucius says, hushed so Stede won’t overhear them, but sharp enough that it cuts. “You’re very cool, and you wear leather, okay, so maybe you won’t understand this, but everyone is worried all of the time whether they’re interesting or adventurous enough for you, and that bizarre little man over there likes you very much, and you like him, and if you can’t get over yourself long enough to realize that, you’re going to end up another leather-clad, middle-aged sad sack dying alone in a puddle of his own piss.”
Ed stares at Lucius.
Lucius stares at Ed.
“You can stab me in the face now,” Lucius says.
Ed just might stab that fucker in the face if he keeps being an insolent little bastard but then again, he’s not too far off — Ed had died alone, and very sad.
But, the important thing: Stede likes him. Ed had figured, but hearing it? Floating. Likes him very much! Did Stede tell Lucius? Tell him about his huge, throbbing crush on Ed? Does he like like Ed? And it’s that obvious that Ed had a thing for Stede, huh?
Ed goes over to Stede. “Hey, man.”
“It’s hopeless,” Stede says. “We might as well head back to the ship. You were right, it was a stupid idea.” He crumbles a piece of paper in his hand. “I don’t know why we’re here.”
“I’m actually a little disappointed,” Ed says. “I was starting to have fun.”
Stede looks up at Ed. His eyes are sad. He thinks Ed is teasing him.
“That little bit there on that little scrappy bit of paper,” Ed says, pointing to the paper Stede’s holding, and motions for Lucius to come closer. “That looks like a tree, doesn’t it, boy?”
“Yeah, no, definitely,” Lucius says. “It does to me.”
“And the other little squiggly bit, what’s that look like?”
“Yeah, like a… like a… river or a road?”
“Road or a river.”
“Maybe, yeah. Clear as day, mm-hmm.”
“You know what,” Ed says. “I think, with this little bit here, we can probably sort this out.”
“Yeah?” Stede’s optimism is coming back already. “You believe so?”
Ed nods. “They’re all the pieces we need. Plus, the rest of the map was basically blank space anyway.”
Lucius catches on. “Shall I prepare the shovel or…?”
“Uh, well, we didn’t come all this way to not dig something up.”
They may not find shit, but it’s the adventure that’s the point. That’s the best part of spending time with Stede. It’s always, always fun.
Stede stands up, straightens his clothes. “That’s the spirit! This way!” He takes a step in one direction, pauses. “I think?” He looks at the paper in his hand, and must decide that he knows what he’s doing. “Come on!”
Ed is so, so obsessed with him.
Lucius leans in to him. “That was very sweet.”
“Don’t,” Ed says, “or I will stab you in your fuckin’ face.”
Stede wasn’t getting better.
The fever wasn’t breaking and he wasn’t eating anything. Ed had to hold Stede’s nose to force him to take the medicinal concoction that the cook/doctor made, which Ed didn’t think was doing much but he wasn’t going to risk not doing it because what if that disgusting mix was what would heal Stede. What then.
What, then.
Ed hadn’t really thought about what would happen if Stede didn’t get better. Didn’t occur to him his obsessive worry that he could lose Stede wasn’t so impossible. How could Stede die from a common illness when the man nearly bled out from a gut stabbing? Fucked up that it could happen.
“Ed.”
Stede had been calling for Ed in his sleep for hours. Little fitful whimpers and Ed and please. Ed did his best to let Stede know he was there, kissing his forehead and saying, “Not going anywhere, babe.”
Stede muttered something that Ed couldn’t understand. Could’ve been something important, like a new recipe he wanted to try, so Ed decided to wake him up. Plus, he’d been wanting to talk to Stede anyway. He missed him.
“Hey.” Ed gently shook Stede’s shoulder. “Stede.”
Nothing to worry about when Stede didn’t stir. The guy was a heavy sleeper. It wasn’t like Stede was slipping into a coma or anything drastic like that.
“Mate,” Ed said, louder, and not at all panicked. “Come on, Stede. Don’t do this me.”
That did it. Stede’s eyes fluttered open, and then he made a noise so pitiful that Ed felt sorry for waking him, but Stede was awake and alive. He seemed disoriented but then his gaze settled on Ed, and smiled.
“Hi,” Stede said.
“Hi.” Ed leaned in and kissed his forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“The same,” Stede said, then, “Worse. Oh, Ed I feel so terrible. I don’t know if I’ll ever get better.”
“Shut up, yes you will.” He will. “Just keep resting, yeah? Soon I’ll have some medicine for you.”
Stede reached for Ed’s hand. Ed gave it to him. Stede kissed his palm.
“You take such good care of me, Ed. I’m so lucky to have you.”
Fuck. Stede shouldn’t be saying those kinds of things, because then Ed was gonna cry. He had to be strong.
“So uh. We’ve been raiding Charles Town.”
“Hm. That’s nice.”
Stede was fighting to stay awake but he was quickly losing that battle. His eyes slid shut and his hand started to go lax in Ed’s.
“You should’ve been there,” Ed told him. “They recognized the ship and they were all like, oh shit, it’s Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate, and I was like, yeah, fuck off and give us your stuff and then…”
Aww. Stede was out like a light. He was already snoring, louder than usual because of his stuffy nose. Sometimes his snoring drove Ed insane, waking him up and making him think it was a thunderstorm, but it was the indication that Stede was breathing. Alive.
Ed tried not to worry about how Stede couldn’t stay awake for more than a couple minutes, or about that rattle in his chest.
Stede was going to be fine.
“This, yeah?”
“Seems so, yep,” Ed says, and there’s only a few seconds before Stede is taking off through the treeline again.
He’s just agreeing with whatever direction Stede takes — or whatever direction Stede thinks the map is taking him. Ed doesn’t mention they’ve passed by the same trail three times already.
Lucius groans. “Just tell him it’s here. I’m tired of walking.”
“Shut up,” Ed snaps, as they follow Stede through the foliage. “Stab in the face, remember?”
“The sooner he satisfies his need to find something, the sooner we can all go back to the ship,” Lucius says, then adds, “and the sooner you can get to canoodling with him in his cabin.”
On second thought.
“Stede, mate! I think it’s there by that tree!”
There are many trees in front of them. Really, there’s only trees.
Stede looks down at his map, then up again. “Over there?” he asks, pointing at one of the trees.
“Yep.” Ed catches up to him, gives him a pat on the shoulder. “Told you we’d find it.”
“Incredible,” Lucius says. “Like, I almost can’t believe it. Wow. Amazing.”
He keeps getting closer and closer to that stabbing. No matter how good of a wingman he’s been.
“You sure this is the right tree?” Stede asks, coming up to what barely passes as a tree.
“Yeah, definitely,” Lucius replies without hesitation. He hands Stede the shovel, who starts digging.
“Plus, pirates are always burying stuff at the bases of trees,” Ed says.
Stede looks up at him. “See, now I feel you guys are just patronizing me.”
Ed and Lucius exchange a look, each threatening the other don’t you dare.
“Uh, guys? What are you doing to my family tree?”
Great, more people. Day trending downward again.
Jim is looking particularly stabby, so Ed sidles over to them. “We, uh… we’re just letting him dig for a bit. Let him get it out of his system.” Not an order, but it can become one if necessary.
Stede forgoes the shovel and starts digging with his hands. It’s cute, like he’s a little puppy dog. He’s not going to find anything, but Ed admires his effort. Maybe he’ll take Stede to where he has some loot hidden in the ruins of Port Royal. Some real pirate scavenging.
But then Stede finds something. Remarkable.
Stede holds the petrified orange aloft, as if it were a jewel. “I think this is my new favorite thing.”
Ed looks at his favorite person and thinks, yes. That’s real treasure.
He gets his four hundred pounds of laudanum, which yeah, that was kinda overkill but Ed was making a point. He got the pies too, a yummy peach pie and a yummier chocolate custard. Ed may have sneaked a taste of that one. Just a little sample. Had to make sure it wouldn’t poison Stede.
Two more days and lots of Ed’s agonizing later, Stede was mostly recovered. He still had a lingering cough but the fever had been gone since the night before. Definitely on the mend. He even took a walk around the deck earlier that day. The healing power of the meds, and the pie. Could also have been because of the blowjob Ed gave him that morning. Whatever it was, it was thanks to Ed.
“And then I said, if he didn’t start being agreeable I would take his job and I would decide what happens in his city,” Ed said. “Might still become governor anyway. Seems like it would be fun.”
They snuggled up in a nest of blankets and pillows on the bed. Neither of them were wearing any pants.
“You’d make a wonderful governor,” Stede said. “You’d let me be your advisor?”
“You aren’t ever leaving my side, babe.” He leaned in to give Stede a kiss, because why not? “We’d live in the governor’s mansion. Have the doorknobs made of gold. All the chandeliers you could wish for.”
Stede didn’t answer, and Ed thought that maybe Stede had fallen asleep again, but he was staring at the ceiling. Ed tickled Stede’s side. He hardly squirmed.
Oh, no — was he getting sick again? Ed was going to find those germs, and kill them. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t see them, he was going to squish them and then set them on fire and then drown them.
“Stop your fussing, I’m fine,” Stede said. “I’m just sorry I ruined our date and— mmph.”
Ed put his finger on Stede’s lips. Enough of that.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” he said. “Yeah?”
Stede nodded. Licked Ed’s finger.
“Kind of reminds me of our honeymoon,” Stede said. “Lying about for days… indulging in treats… sucking each other silly….”
“That was fun, wasn’t it?”
It was fun. The most he had, ever. Ed could tell him that they could do that again. Go to that cottage on the coast of Spain, live out the rest of their years just being together. Stede could have the garden he talked about, and Ed could bake them yummy treats every day. A quiet life both of them needed.
They will, one day. They have forever.
“Co-captain,” Ed says at the same time as Stede.
Now would be the perfect moment to tell Stede. We’ve been co-captains before. We’re made for each other. Cut from the same cloth, you said. You’ve felt it, haven’t you? I love you, Stede Bonnet.
“Stede?”
“Hm?” Stede asks him, eyes closed as he savors his brandy.
“Thank you,” Ed says. “For today. That was fun.”
Stede smiles at him. “You’re very welcome, Edward.”
It really was the perfect day.
Ed doesn't need to say anything. They’ll get there. By the way Stede is looking at him, it’ll be soon. He just has to wait.