Chapter Text
Sa Eon had taken the afternoon off, but being at home was turning out to be a huge challenge. He and Hee Joo couldn’t see each other every day because of his work at the office, but now she was just a few rooms away, and he was about to lose his mind from not being able to talk to or touch her. After all, they still avoided showing anything in front of Ji Yeon.
He knew he needed to tell his daughter about their relationship, but he had been putting it off for days. Mainly because he was a coward, but also because it never seemed like the right time. He wanted to have a calm conversation and explain everything to understand how she felt about it.
"Hey."
Sa Eon turned to see Hee Joo walking toward him. He had been trying to distract himself by making a snack, and he didn’t even notice her entering the kitchen. She was wearing black pants and a long-sleeved white shirt, looking exceptionally beautiful with her hair tied up in a ponytail.
"Hey," he smiled, leaning on the counter to get closer to her and lowering his voice. "I miss you."
Usually, he arrived after she had already gone home. They’d exchanged a few messages and even had a call. But it wasn’t the same. Now that he had been with her, his mind always drifted back to the feeling of holding her hand, hugging her, and kissing her. He wanted more of her every day, and every second he spent with her pretending they weren’t together was torture.
Hee Joo squinted at him, but the blush on her cheeks gave away her real reaction. "You saw me yesterday."
"Yes, and I barely had time to talk to you," he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Things have been hectic at the office. I really needed this time off."
She gave a sad smile and tilted her head. "You should worry more about yourself and not overwork. I’m worried about your health."
Her genuine concern warmed his heart. While people around him usually saw his work effort as dedication and excellence, she cared about him and saw him as a person, not just a work machine. He couldn’t help but smile at her, leaning in a little more.
"Don’t worry about me. I’m fine," he reassured her, taking her hand. "If I burnout, you’ll be the first to know, Miss Hong."
Hee Joo widened her eyes and playfully slapped his shoulder. "Don’t joke about that."
He laughed, watching as she walked around the counter. For a moment, he thought she was coming toward him, and his heart skipped a beat, but she walked right past him and went to the fridge.
"You almost made me forget what I came for. I came to get some water."
When she turned around, Sa Eon was watching her with his arms crossed, admiring how she moved so smoothly, exuding lightness and calm. She froze in place, under the weight of his gaze, as Sa Eon stepped forward and stopped right in front of her. His eyes traced a loose strand of hair that had fallen across her face.
"Do you want to have dinner with us today?" he asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I want to cook for you."
She stared at him, excited.
"Really?"
Sa Eon nodded, too distracted by the curve of her lips and how inviting they looked. Had they always had that pink tint, or was it just his stupid, lovesick brain playing tricks on him?
He moved closer to her, and her breathing seemed to grow a little heavier. "I need to go back to Ji Yeon," she said, but her eyes also drifted to his lips, and Hee Joo swallowed.
"Hmm," he murmured, unconsciously wetting his lips.
"Miss Hong!"
Sa Eon jumped back so quickly that his back hit the kitchen counter. He silently thanked his years of experience as an anchor and his negotiation course, which helped him handle desperate situations. He then shoved his hands into his pockets and put on the most impassive expression he could muster when Ji Yeon entered the kitchen, even though his heart felt like it was about to explode like a ticking time bomb.
"Miss Hong, what..." the little girl started, her face twisting in confusion. "Are you okay?"
Sa Eon looked at Hee Joo. Apparently, she wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions; her face was flushed, and she was trying to steady her uneven breathing. She practically had the word "guilty" written across her forehead.
"Yes, Jiyeon-ah," she said nervously, trying to grip the water bottle tightly to disguise the trembling in her hands. "I was on my way to you."
"Appa, you’re not boring my teacher with talk about work, are you?" she accused, squinting at Sa Eon.
He raised his hands in surrender and shook his head.
"No, ma’am. We were just talking," he promised, crossing his arms again. "What about you? You’re not distracting yourself from your studies, are you?"
Ji Yeon quickly looked away and went over to Hee Joo, taking the water bottle from her hands.
"I’ll wait for you there, Miss Hong!" she shouted, running back to the office.
"No running, Jiyeon-ah," Sa Eon scolded, worried.
He exhaled heavily and dropped his arms. He definitely had to figure out how to tell her, before Ji Yeon ended up scaring them both half to death or making them feel guilty.
"I thought I was going to have a heart attack," he said, looking at Hee Joo. She was staring at him with her arms crossed and a very accusatory look.
"Don’t give me that look," he protested, frowning. "Your little guilty face almost gave us away, Hong Hee Joo."
She gasped in disbelief. "Oh, is that how it is?"
When she turned to leave, he pulled her toward him by the wrist, stealing a quick kiss from her lips. Hee Joo placed her hand over her mouth, wide-eyed, glancing back quickly. Maybe he was playing with fire, but he couldn’t resist teasing her.
Sa Eon bit his lip to keep from laughing at the expression on her face as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. He smiled for real when he realized she was smiling too. Hee Joo turned to go back to the office, and he stood there, watching her and wondering how he had spent so much time without having her.
⋆.˚
When Hee Joo was packing up, finishing another tutoring session, she noticed Sa Eon standing in the doorway. She got worried because the expression on his face looked exasperated and slightly irritated.
"Is something wrong?" she asked, walking a few steps toward him since Ji Yeon had gone to the bathroom.
He scratched the back of his neck.
"An emergency at the office. Looks like another hostage situation," he replied, running a hand over his face. "Why does this stuff always happen on my day off? I really wanted you to stay for dinner."
Hee Joo touched his forearm, comforting him.
"It’s okay. We can do it another day," she assured him, and he only responded with a sad smile.
Sa Eon took his phone out of his pocket and started unlocking it. "I need to call the babysitter."
"I’ll take care of Ji Yeon."
He shook his head immediately.
"No, Heejoo-ya, you’re not the babysitter. I can’t ask you to do this every time."
"You also can’t ask the babysitter to come in when you gave her the day off," she argued, because it was true. He usually sent the babysitter home when he was around because he could take care of his daughter, and calling her last minute would probably be inconvenient.
He seemed to think the same, because his fingers hesitated on the phone before he finally put it back in his pocket.
"I’m already here. I can take care of her until you get back," Hee Joo said, determined. Sa Eon looked at her face for a few seconds, probably searching for any signs of a lie. She understood him completely; after all, she knew taking care of a child wasn’t an easy task, and he was probably afraid he was asking too much.
But Ji Yeon wasn’t just any child. She was energetic, but in a gentle way, like the current of a river, not the waves of the sea. Her intelligence and sweetness charmed Hee Joo every day they spent together, and there was a real connection between them.
When the little girl appeared in the hallway, Sa Eon crouched down to her level.
"Jiyeon-ah, I need to go to work for a few hours," he said, holding her little hands. "Is it okay if you stay with Miss Hong again?"
"Will you take long?"
"Maybe," he admitted, a little sad. "But I’ll leave my phone with Uncle Do Jae, and if you feel nervous, you can call, okay?"
She nodded, calm, letting go of his hands and taking Hee Joo’s hand instead. "I’ll stay with Miss Hong and wait for you. And I won’t cry."
Sa Eon’s gaze met Hee Joo’s, both of them melting at the expression of bravery the little girl was trying to show. She was too precious.
"It’s okay to cry, sweetheart. Just try to stay calm, okay?"
"Yes, sir," she said seriously, mimicking, and both adults laughed.
Soon, Sa Eon had to hurry to change clothes because he was already running late, and Hee Joo was left alone with Ji Yeon. She tried to think of something to distract her for a while but thought maybe staying at home wouldn’t be the best idea, so she suggested they go to the mall, which the little girl happily agreed to.
⋆.˚
The mall they were at wasn’t too big or far from Sa Eon’s house since Hee Joo didn’t want to take his daughter to a neighborhood that was too far, so he wouldn’t worry too much. There were some stores, but since it was a weekday, it wasn’t too crowded, just a few young people and families here and there, so it was a nice, quiet place for a quick outing.
Ji Yeon held her hand and talked about some new game she was playing and how her dad was terrible at it, but great at reading stories and singing lullabies.
"Does he know how to sing?" Hee Joo asked, surprised by this new piece of information. She never would have guessed that Sa Eon could sing.
"He’s the best singer. I’m going to ask him to sing for you," she said, excited. Hee Joo laughed and nodded. "Deal."
Ji Yeon stopped walking when they reached a children’s clothing store. The store was colorful, and there were lots of clothes with cute patterns and pastel tones, as well as costumes of various characters.
"Do you want to go in, Jiyeon-ah?" Hee Joo asked, looking at her.
"Can we?" she said shyly.
"Of course. Let’s buy you a gift."
They went inside, looking at the clothing sections. There were only a few people there, just some moms with their kids shopping.
"What do you think of this one?" Hee Joo asked, holding up a pink dress with butterfly prints. Ji Yeon tilted her head, thinking, a small crease appearing between her brows.
"It’s pretty, but…" she started, a bit embarrassed.
"Not for you?"
"Yes!" she agreed, vehemently. "Appa never gets these things. He thinks everything looks nice and cute and doesn’t understand when I don’t like an outfit."
"How about you pick something you really like, then?" Hee Joo suggested, and Ji Yeon smiled, excited, agreeing eagerly.
They moved through the store's department, looking for clothes for the girl to try on. In the fitting room, she showed the outfits she liked most, and Hee Joo gave her opinion. Ji Yeon really looked cute in everything, but Hee Joo wanted her opinion to be more helpful than Sa Eon’s, so she tried her best to assist.
It was fun seeing the little girl’s excitement, her face lighting up as she talked to Hee Joo. Hee Joo had already noticed how much she resembled her father, but when Ji Yeon was happy, they looked even more alike, with sweet eyes and smiles.
After they chose the clothes, Hee Joo went to the cashier. She wasn’t rich and usually managed her money well, but a few dresses wouldn’t bankrupt her, and besides, Ji Yeon’s smile made any spending worth it.
"Did you really like it?" Hee Joo asked, making sure.
"I loved it. Thank you so much, Miss Hong, I’m going to look as pretty as you," she said, swinging the bag in her hands.
"You’re already beautiful, sweetie," Hee Joo assured, gently brushing her hair.
Hee Joo checked her phone. Sa Eon had sent a message asking if everything was okay and letting her know he’d be a little late. She replied, saying it was no problem, and kept walking with Ji Yeon. They had been at the mall for a while, but it was fine to stay a little longer since Sa Eon still wasn’t home. It would be good to keep the little one distracted.
When she looked up, she saw a photo booth and slowed her pace. "Jiyeon-ah, what do you think?" she nodded toward the booth.
A few minutes later, Hee Joo looked at the pictures they had taken. There were three photos, in which they were smiling at the camera while making heart signs, wearing colorful bunny ears. But the last photo was her favorite; Ji Yeon had said something that made her laugh, and they were genuinely laughing. She had her eyes closed, and the girl was looking at her, amused.
Hee Joo realized she hardly had any photos like that with her mom. The photos between them were always stiff and unnatural, always seeming staged to look like a family, along with In-a and her stepdad. There were hardly any photos from when they lived with her dad. Hee Joo put the photos in her bag, feeling happy to have these kinds of memories.
⋆.˚
"Tcharam!"
Hee Joo placed the ice cream in front of Ji Yeon, who took it with both hands and tilted her head a little to thank her.
"Thank you, Miss Hong," she said quietly, her cheeks turning red.
Hee Joo smiled and sat next to her, starting to eat her ice cream. They were at a table where they could watch all the kids playing in the shopping mall’s playground. Despite being an introvert, Hee Joo liked noisy places—not the kind of parties with loud music, but the bustle of people laughing and talking loudly, having fun. It made the places feel happy, the complete opposite of being in a house where no one talks or has fun.
She looked back at Ji Yeon. The cup she was holding was a bit squished because her fingers were gripping it tightly. She wasn’t eating the ice cream, just staring off in the opposite direction, her gaze unfocused. Hee Joo was afraid it might be another panic attack.
"Jiyeon-ah," she called, gently touching the girl's hand.
The touch seemed to pull her out of her own head, bringing her attention back. She relaxed her grip on the cup and looked at Hee Joo.
"Hm?"
"Can I know what’s going on in that little head of yours?"
Ji Yeon took a spoonful of her ice cream before answering. "You see that girl?" she asked, pointing to a little girl in a blue dress with short hair running around the playground. Hee Joo nodded; she had seen them talking briefly while she was getting the ice cream.
"She went to school with me when I used to go, and she asked me if you were my eomma."
Hee Joo froze the spoon halfway to her mouth. She remembered Sa Eon telling her that one of the reasons he chose homeschooling was because some mothers, who knew him, commented about them, and the kids would tease Ji Yeon for not having a mother. Although she found it sad and even infuriating, she knew from her experience as a teacher that some kids really did bully classmates who only had one parent.
"And what did you say?" she asked, lowering the spoon.
"I told her I didn’t have one."
Her first instinct was to deny it and say something like, "Of course you do" or "Don’t say that," but she knew that would be the same as dismissing the girl's feelings and telling her to suppress them. It was sad that she thought this way, of course, but Hee Joo couldn’t ask her to think differently. She couldn’t act as though Ji Yeon couldn’t feel resentment toward someone just because that person was one of her parents.
"Did that make you sad?" Hee Joo asked, trying to sound like the teacher she was. A neutral and kind tone, with no judgment.
"I don’t remember her. Eomma," Ji Yeon replied, lowering her head. "I saw her last year, but she doesn’t like me."
That feeling. The feeling of thinking you're not loved by someone who should love you above all else. No one should feel like that, especially someone so young. Hee Joo completely understood that feeling.
"Jiyeon-ah..." she called, softening her voice. "Did someone say that to you?"
Ji Yeon looked at her and shrugged. The ice cream had almost melted completely, and by this point, she didn’t care about it anymore. Her eyes carried hurt, but at the same time, acceptance—maybe because she didn’t have many memories of her mother.
"No. But if she liked me, she wouldn’t have left. The other kids have moms, so I must’ve done something for her not to like me."
"Sweetie, it’s not your fault that this happened. How could it be?" Hee Joo asked, extending her hand to hold Ji Yeon’s.
Ji Yeon’s gaze stayed on her hand. "Then why did she leave?" she whispered, her voice trembling, making her sound smaller than she was.
"Jiyeon-ah..." Hee Joo lamented, furrowing her brow. How could her chest be filled with so much sadness for someone she hadn’t known for that long? Hee Joo would give anything to make the little girl feel better and happy, to make her always feel loved.
"You’re doing the same as him," Ji Yeon commented, looking at her face before turning her gaze away.
"What? Like who?"
"Appa," she replied, fiddling with her fingers. "He looks at me like that when I talk about it, so I don’t say anything because I don’t want him to be sad."
Hee Joo sighed and swallowed hard, trying to control the pangs of pain in her heart. She needed to be strong. She placed Ji Yeon’s hands between her own, just like Sa Eon had done, hoping that this gesture would be as comforting as it had been for her.
"Sometimes adults do things that are hard to understand. And sometimes you might think a decision has something to do with you and feel sad about it, when in reality, it has more to do with that person and what they choose for themselves."
"I don’t understand," she said, looking back at Hee Joo. She seemed genuinely frustrated, and Hee Joo realized how much this was still an open wound for her.
"You don’t need to understand now. One day, a long time from now, when you’re older, you might want to figure it out and understand," she began, gently rubbing Ji Yeon’s little hands with her thumb. "But for now... it’s much more worth it to focus on what really matters, on the people who are with you. There’s someone who loves you more than anything in the world and will always love you."
"Appa," Ji Yeon concluded, the sad expression on her face replaced by a small smile.
"Hmm," Hee Joo nodded, smiling back at her. "There are people who love you, and you’re going to meet many more people who will love you in your life. Those are the ones you need to remember and keep in your heart."
Her smile grew a little. It didn’t have the dimples that usually lit up her face when she smiled, but this time, it reached her eyes.
"I really like you, Miss Hong."
"I like you a lot too, Jiyeon-ah," Hee Joo replied, smiling back at her.
All she hoped for was that one day, Ji Yeon would heal from the painful marks of abandonment and neglect. In the meantime, she wished she could do something to help ease the little girl’s pain.
⋆.˚
Hee Joo was woken up by the sunlight on her face. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and she was startled by the small figure lying next to her, her head resting on her arm.
She remembered coming back from the mall around Ji Yeon’s bedtime, and Sa Eon hadn’t gotten home yet, so she read her a story. Maybe she had fallen asleep with Ji Yeon and didn’t realize it.
Hee Joo grabbed her phone and saw that it was already past 7 a.m., so she tried her best to get out of bed without making any noise, not wanting to wake Ji Yeon. She felt like she was in a spy movie as she tiptoed out of the room, afraid of tripping over some toy, and then carefully closed the door. The house was quiet, and the smell of breakfast made her so hungry she felt like she could faint.
She quietly went down the stairs, taking her time to admire Sa Eon from behind. He looked incredibly attractive when he was focused on something. The back of his neck and the way his hands moved as he made breakfast had her mesmerized, and she said nothing because, for a moment, she forgot how to speak.
"I know you're staring," Sa Eon said without turning around. She could practically hear the smile in his voice, which only made her feel more embarrassed for getting caught.
He turned off the stove and faced her. He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept much, which was probably true. Small dark circles were forming under his eyes, and they looked a bit weary. She felt bad for him.
Gathering some courage, Hee Joo walked over and wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him. He didn’t react at first, probably not understanding her gesture, but then he let out a small laugh and hugged her back, pulling her closer.
"What’s this?" he laughed, resting his chin on her head. It felt good to be in his arms again, to feel his comforting warmth and his familiar scent.
She lifted her head a little to look at him.
"Must’ve been exhausting last night. I didn’t even notice what time you came home."
He looked at her with soft, sweet eyes—a look she was getting used to seeing on his face when he looked at her. She liked it.
"It was a bit rough, but nothing I’m not used to," he said, running his hand through her hair, which was probably a mess. "I’m fine, I promise. Besides, seeing you in the morning gives me all the energy I need."
She rested her head on his chest, hiding her face.
"Stop, I must look awful."
Hee Joo hadn’t even looked at herself in the mirror when she woke up. She imagined her face was all crumpled and dirty, and her hair was probably worse. Definitely not a pleasant sight for him to be saying she looked good, but he didn’t seem to care, because he held her face, making her look at him.
"You’re beautiful, as always," he said, kissing her forehead. "Now let me feed you."
He pulled away from her embrace and started arranging some things on a tray. Some dish with kimchi made her stomach growl with hunger as she sat on a stool in the kitchen.
"Do you have coffee?"
Sa Eon gave her a frown. "No coffee on an empty stomach," he said, placing the food in front of her.
Hee Joo took a bite, closing her eyes at the explosion of flavor in her mouth. He cooked so well it made her want to eat his food every day. "This is really good."
He seemed proud of himself when she looked at him. "Eat slowly."
"Why didn’t you wake me up yesterday?" she asked after taking another bite.
Sa Eon rubbed his temple.
"I got home late... the office was a mess. You were already asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you up."
"I think Ji Yeon put me to bed last night."
He laughed.
"You and her were both out cold. Did you have fun last night?"
She thought about whether or not to tell him about their conversation, but it felt a little like betraying Ji Yeon. The girl had said she didn’t like seeing her dad sad, so it definitely wasn’t Hee Joo’s place to talk about her feelings. She went to therapy, and that would help her open up to Sa Eon in her own time—it wasn’t Hee Joo’s job to rush her.
"Yeah. I always have a good time with her," she answered, which was true—they really did have fun. "There’s always something new."
He smiled softly. "I feel the same way."
Sa Eon kept watching her for a few more moments, seeming a little uncomfortable, until he finally spoke. "Heejoo-ya."
"Hm?" she mumbled, still eating.
"Sorry about last night," he said quietly, and she looked up to meet his eyes. "Asking you to take care of her without warning…"
"Sa Eon, we’ve already talked about this..." she interrupted, putting the fork back on the tray. "I said I’d stay with her, it’s fine."
"I just… I don’t want you to think I left this to you just because you’re my girlfriend. It’s not your responsibility."
His eyes were fixed on the counter, not looking at her. It was strange seeing him nervous like this.
"None of that," she reassured him, touching his hand. "I did it because I wanted to. Because I like your daughter, and you needed help. I’d never think you’re forcing me to do this just because we’re in a relationship."
This time, he looked up, nodding slowly. She could tell he didn’t want to dwell on the subject anymore, so she decided to break the tension. She didn’t want to ruin the moment. It felt so strangely domestic being in the kitchen with him, but it felt good and right.
"Besides, spending time with her was important because I found out something about you."
"What?" he asked, and she could almost see the gears in his brain turning, wondering what his daughter had revealed.
"You sing," she said, like she was revealing a huge secret, and it really was almost that, because his ears almost instantly turned red and he let out a nervous laugh.
"Ah, that… kind of."
Hee Joo narrowed her eyes and pointed at him.
"Don’t lie. I already uncovered your dark past, Baek Sa Eon."
He laughed again, this time more relaxed, and leaned on the counter. "It’s not a dark past. I sing a little and play drums, but it’s nothing special."
"Drums? I need to see this," she said, getting excited, swinging a little on the stool.
"Why all the excitement?" he asked, crossing his arms. "You mean to say Hong Hee Joo is into drummers?"
"Not drummers in general," she tilted her head. "But Sa Eon the drummer, definitely."
He raised his eyebrows, surprised by her flirting, and smiled playfully. "I’ll remember that."
"I just... I’ll finish eating here," she stammered, picking up her fork again.
He leaned over the counter, getting closer to her and lowering his voice.
"You know, I liked having you here this morning. But next time you sleep at my house, you don’t have to wake up in Ji Yeon’s bed."
She swallowed and looked at the smile on his face, which had grown wider. He was obviously joking with her. And just like that, the game had turned. She flirted with him first, and he quickly took control of the situation. Now, she was the one frozen, not knowing how to respond to his flirtation.
"What?"
He laughed and started walking toward the stairs.
"I’ll go wake Ji Yeon up," he said, leaving her alone with a racing heart and a mind as fast as a race car.