Chapter Text
No-eul learnt a lot more about Jun-ho through Gi-hun. Apparently he was a creative and selfless kid. There were times where he gave up things he liked just to see his brother succeed. It was heartwarming, really.
No-eul couldn’t really say the same. As a kid, she was reserved, and anyone who tried to talk to her only talked to a dull wall. She wasn’t as selfless as Jun-ho, since there was nothing to care for. She drowned herself in anything that could take her mind off her burdens. Being introduced to so many people as soon as she reached high school sort of changed how alone she felt.
Because now she wasn’t. She had Jun-ho, she had friends. It was different, so much more different—and Jun-ho didn’t know. He didn’t need to know.
“So you’re coming this afternoon?” Gi-hun asked, a plushie in his hand. He decided to get another for In-ho.
“Oh, yeah, I am.” No-eul snapped herself back into reality, briefly forgetting about her worries. She remembered her plans with Jun-ho for tonight, and how she spent all morning stressing about what to get him, or if she should get him anything. She always froze up with invitations, on the rare occasions she was invited.
“That’s great! All of us will be there then,” Gi-hun exclaimed, gaining a small smile from No-eul. After talking a bit more, the two of them decide to say their goodbyes and get ready.
No-eul took a deep breath as she stepped into her house, feeling her floorboards creak under her shoes. She was ready for the condescending questions, the scolding, the everything. It didn’t matter, since after a while they wouldn’t even notice she was there.
She traveled to her room with partial hesitation. Somehow today everything was oddly quiet.
Inside, she dropped her bag of groceries beside her bed and looked at her mirror, fogged and grainy. It was odd, her face seemed to be someone else’s, unfamiliar and strange. How was she allowing this version of herself feel loved?
A miniature glistening necklace dangled from her neck, flashing her eyes occasionally. She took it off and cupped it carefully in her hand. It was an old gift from Gyeong-seok after he’d seen her wail for hours. It was her first loss, an old friend whom went missing. Gyeong-seok he had watched her enter the pain, endure it, and eventually find her way out of it.
It was what the two bonded over, loss, sometimes loneliness. Even on the days she preferred to be her own company, she wouldn’t mind having a brief conversation to Gyeong-seok about it. It was the one thing that strengthened the rope called their friendship, they knew it like the back of their hand.
So of course, Gyeong-seok was ecstatic to find out about the nefarious Jun-ho knowing how it would help No-eul big time…
“I‘ll tell the group later, but I want to tell you more privately.” No-eul mumbled, brushing the side of her hair, embarrassed. Gyeong-seok chuckled, but there was always this reassuring hum in his laugh that reminded her why he was trustworthy.
“Yeah. It’s nice to see you so happy,” Gyeong-seok smirked, “Trust me, you don’t seem too overbearing already having feelings for him, he seems like a good guy.”
“I know… It’s just scary,” No-eul chuckled, “Falling in love again. I like being lonely. And in the past—it wasn’t love, but it still hurt once I lost them. I’m not exactly in love yet but I don’t want that to happen—“
“But it will. Love is meant to be scary. After all, the price we pay for it is grief.”
That flickered in her mind occasionally, allowing her to feel more knowing it was okay to.
She took a deep breath and hurried over to her closet, looking for a good outfit to wear to her soon-to-be-partner-or-situation-whatever-ship’s home. Most of what was hanging on her shelves was old, extravagant clothing she felt far too shy to wear. So, after what felt like a millennium, she decided on wearing …
Track pants and a hoodie. What could go wrong with that? It’s nice and cozy. She shoved a few necessities in her pockets and wrapped Jun-ho’s gift in purple wrapping.
…
“Do you think my room looks messy?” Jun-ho muttered, pacing around and throwing things in dark crevasses. In-ho sighed, swiping his hand dreadfully across his face.
“You’re going to be fine. Seriously,” In-ho exclaimed, though his voice was corrupted by Jun-ho’s unpleasant worries. He glanced at the clock. 5:30pm.
Their mother had prepared food for the occasion. It was all intricately laid out on the table like some fancy restaurant.
The next entry on In-ho’s ‘how to’ list was getting her something. He decided it’d be easier to combine the entries but .. Jun-ho didn’t necessarily buy No-eul a present.
After scrambling under his bed for a few moments—which In-ho assumed was his way of panicking—he turned around and showed him an envelope.
“What is that?” In-ho sternly questioned, “Is that for…”
Jun-ho nodded. It wasn’t much, just a letter in a small envelope sealed with a love heart. Nothing at the store felt sincere, so he decided to spill his love out with words.
“Oh, God.” In-ho chuckled.
“Shut up,” Jun-ho said in defence, quickly dragging the paper away from In-ho’s face, “I also got her a keychain. It’s not that bad.”
His face was as red as a tomato from embarrassment. His brother was simply belittling him, which was slightly frustrating, but he’s used to it.
Ding!
Someone was at the door. Jun-ho started to yell at In-ho as he hesitantly walked to the front, “I’m hoping it’s Gi-hun because I am so not ready—“
He opened it.
And, while part of him knew this already, to his surprise he saw an angel, Kang No-eul.
He stayed silent for a moment, enchanted by the little strands of hair that flew against the wind on their own, and the small smile that grew on her face the moment she saw who she was looking at.
“Hi,” No-eul said, her hand slightly waving as she held tightly on the purple wrapping.
“Um, hi. Come in,” Jun-ho stuttered, moving away from the entrance and inviting No-eul in.
In-ho watched as the two of them hovered over each other, awkwardly, visibly wanting to say or do something but deciding not to. It was excruciating to watch, but he shrugged it off as soon as Gi-hun arrived.
Gi-hun definitely knew how to make things feel lighter. He handed In-ho the little plushie, and In-ho had the brightest look on his face. It sort of shocked Jun-ho, considering how he’d spent his whole 17 years of living somehow not seeing that look on his face.
Though it definitely made things feel easier. The four of them had a brief conversation at the dinner table, with the brother’s mum occasionally peeping in to see if they’re having a few laughs and really savouring the flavour.
In that moment, No-eul hoped it would last forever. It was pleasant, peaceful—
Is this what love was meant to feel like?
After they finished eating, Jun-ho and No-eul decided to hang out for a bit in his room. Jun-ho sighed in relief as soon as No-eul walked in without noticing the clutter hidden from her sight.
“The food was incredible, thanks for inviting me,” No-eul said, taking a seat on Jun-ho’s bed. Jun-ho nodded and sat beside her before she looked at the purple wrapped gift in her hands.
“I… got this for you,” No-eul hummed, shakily passing the gift to Jun-ho, who was only inches away. He happily took it and carefully unraveled it. No-eul swore he had the same look In-ho had when receiving Gi-hun’s plushie.
“I used to love legos,” Jun-ho chuckled, flipping the box over to look at the back, “Hyung spoilt me, bought me a bunch of legos and they were awesome.”
“You’re kidding..”
“I’m not,” Jun-ho giggled, rising from the bed, “They’re in this shelf.”
He jumped through his bedroom and opened the closet, only to be met with a loud crash as piles of books, bags and other miscellaneous objects fall into him.
“Oh, I forgot I stacked everything in there,” He mumbled under the items, almost wheezing. No-eul chuckled, her lungs almost popping out of her body. She dug Jun-ho out and gave him a hand.
The next few hours they spent rambling on about their past as they deep cleaned his room, especially Jun-ho’s well-made lego castles (they were extremely intricate). They had only noticed how late it’d gotten when In-ho knocked aggressively on Jun-ho’s wall, letting them know that No-eul’s parents had arrived.
So they decided to part ways, but before that …
“Uh, No-eul. I want to give you something,” Jun-ho muttered just as No-eul slipped her shoes back on and prepared to leave, trying to hide the envelope behind the penguin keychain, “I just thought you’d like it.”
“Oh, this is adorable. Thank you, Jun-ho.” She smiled before pacing away as she waved, “and thank you to your mum, I really enjoyed the meal!”
Jun-ho waved back. She looked perfect under the street lights, her silhouette glowing like she’s the most important thing in the world.
On the ride back home, her mum asked her a few questions. They were a bit dry, and No-eul knew deep down she wouldn’t really digest anything she said. She just sighed and rested her head against the window, playing with the penguin keychain.
There was the envelope, which she only noticed from skimming her finger lightly over it. She opened it and realised it was a letter, decorated with random stickers like strawberries and sweets. She began to read…
“Dear No-eul,
I’m not exactly sure how to write these things. You seem like the more poetic one. I guess I’m giving it a try. When I first saw you in that forsaken math class, you were like a saving grace. You just seemed so beautiful. I thought you were bullying me at first, maybe because I felt inferior to you, but I learnt quickly I was in the wrong.
Thank you. I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone before. Every conversation I end up with the biggest smile on my face, or I go to bed knowing I have a reason to go to school tomorrow, and that’s to see you and laugh.
I’m learning how to navigate being treated like this, with kindness, sincerity, care. It’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I’m so glad I’ve met you. Do I sound robotic?
But alas, thank you No-eul.
I really like (being with) you.”