Chapter Text
Dear Miles,
I thought I saw you today, dancing sexy at a strip club. Isn't that crazy? You're probably busy at some famous law school, trying to pass the bar early, and I'll probably hear all about your big debut on the news soon. That dancer was amazing though, and really hot, like I always imagined you'd grow up to be. I wonder, if we met again, would you still recognize me?
Phoenix has a whole box full of letters just like this. With no address to mail them to, he could never send them, but he missed his best friend too much to stop writing, so he just collected them in this box. Someday, he fancies they'll meet again, and this way, even if the letters themselves become too embarrassing to show, at least he'll have reminders of all the things he wanted to share with the other boy.
I went to see your old house today. It's all locked up now, dark and empty. Larry talked me into breaking in. I know; stupid, right? Like crying on your porch in the rain when I know you can't come back. I made him help me take all of your dad's law books home though. If I give them back when you return for them, it's not stealing, right? They're in a box under my bed now. You'll come back for them, won't you? They always seemed so important to you. I'll keep them safe till you do, I promise.
He'd texted Larry as soon as he got back, saying he'd seen a stripper that looked kinda like Miles.
"Wow, Nick, really? They let kids do it now?"
To be fair, he set himself up for that one. On the other hand, does Larry actually think he's a paedophile?!
"No! What the heck?! Similar features, Larry! Stop tainting everything with your filthy mind!"
"Duuude, last we saw of Edgey, we were nine. What was I supposed to think, huh?"
Phoenix sighs, flopping back on his lofted bed. "Why do I even talk to you?"
"I dunno, man. 'Cause you got it bad for the kid no one else remembers?"
It's been lonely without you. Larry and I still hang out all the time, of course, but it's not the same. Especially with school projects. Nothing gets done without you to scold us for slacking off anymore. Are you making new friends? I know it's bad, but I can't sleep when I think you're sitting next to someone else now. I don't want you to be alone though. Being alone is really sad. So you should make lots of new friends. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay, you'll see.
It's true — Miles hadn't had any other friends back then. Larry said it was because he was always such a stick in the mud — all he wanted to do was study. He always had to be coaxed to do anything fun. Lots of girls liked him though, and he was always the teacher's pet — no one ever understood why he was friends with Phoenix and Larry. Phoenix doubts that would change, and he was dismayed to learn that Miles hadn't been allowed to bring his dog along.
So, it took a lot of asking around, but I finally found the shelter they sent Signal to! He was so happy to see us… I'm so sad I can't take him home. Can you believe they'll kill him if no one adopts him within half a year? I went back to the family that abandoned him and begged them to take him back, so he could live, but they didn't care.
In the end, I was just holding him till the shelter closed for the night, crying and crying, and finally, they said that if I could help support him financially, they'd be able to keep him for a long time. So I'm going to set aside some of my allowance for him every week. Larry said he would too, so Signal's gonna be okay. We won't abandon him like they did. We'll take care of him until you come back.
Phoenix switches the light off to try to sleep. Rehearsals for his next show start tomorrow, so he's got a long day ahead — class in the morning and rehearsal all day after. He'd auditioned for the role of Romeo, and it's embarrassing to admit, but he probably got the part by thinking of Miles.
Not like he has any real frame of reference.
I hooked up with a boy today. It actually wasn't that different from being with the girl last week. I mean, we did different things, of course, but it all felt nice. Everyone at school is really into it these days. They say you shouldn't "catch feelings" though, like it's all over when you do. I don't know, I always thought of love as something that kinda… sweeps you off your feet. Like you can't get enough of that person and want to spend every waking moment with them. Does that happen eventually if you hook up enough?
It's probably not so different where you are, right? I bet you're having an easier time of it than Larry. He's been trying really hard. I told him, maybe he should try being more like you. You've always been popular with the girls. So maybe it's like reverse psychology, and the more you try to date your books instead of them, the more the girls want to date you. I don't think Larry's gonna try it though.
Sometimes, Phoenix wonders how things would have turned out if Mr. Edgeworth hadn't died when he did and Miles never went away. Would they have grown apart as Phoenix spent more and more time in theater? They probably would have gone to different high schools regardless — Miles would have easily made Themis, that famous academy for aspiring lawyers, while Larry struggled not to drop out of whichever school they both ended up in. Larry isn't really that dumb though — studies and careers have just never been his priorities, much to his family's and teachers' dismay. But he's really talented at art, so now he's with the theater department, painting scene backdrops and making props. If he didn't keep blowing all his money on expensive dates, he'd probably be doing all right.
Signal died yesterday. He's been getting weaker for a while now though. The vet warned us to be ready, but… is anyone ever ready to lose a loved one? How do you even prepare for that? I played with him three times a week for six years. My mom even gave me extra allowance when she found out about him. We adopted that dog together, Miles, and now… you didn't even get to say goodbye. I hope he was happy till the end. Larry and I buried him together, then we went to Dairy Queen, and Larry spent all of the money he'd saved up to take Jessica to dinner and movies this weekend on ice cream to cheer me up. I guess that's proof we're true friends à la Larry, huh?
In a school full of like-minded people, though, would Miles even think of Phoenix anymore? Maybe they'd see each other a couple of times a year on holidays to catch up. He smiles wistfully. It's only a bit better than this complete radio silence, really, but at least they would have had more happy years together, and maybe…
Larry saw my box of letters for you today. He said, "Gee, Nick, no wonder you never get past the first date or night with anyone." He thinks I have a crush on you, and maybe… you know, maybe he's right. I did want to spend every waking moment with you back then, and I'm still sitting here, writing to you on a Saturday night instead of out on a date with that girl I met in the library or the boy I met in the lab last week. Eight years of letters that you'll probably never see… is it foolish of me to think we might meet again someday? I still miss you, Miles, and I'm starting to think… maybe I love you. Maybe I always have.
Phoenix groans, tossing in bed. He needs to sleep, not continue this pointless reminiscing. It's not like he knows anything about Miles anymore. He's in love with a memory from ten years ago. For all he knows, Miles probably found a nice girl, some aspiring lawyer or judge, and they're going to get married and have kids after they graduate.
Larry's right about this one — he should have moved on years ago. But even in his dreams, he's dancing in Miles Edgeworth's arms.
☆☆☆
As his Comparative Legal Systems class draws to an end, Miles jots a last few lines of notes down, then packs his books away.
"Hey Miles."
It feels overly familiar for how long he's known this classmate, but it's not like he knows the other's last name either. He turns to find Harvey standing beside his chair, Macbook bag in hand.
"Yes?"
"Wow, cold, man. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to watch Romeo and Juliet this weekend."
The guy prattles on, probably about the time and venue, but Miles is too busy panicking to process.
Is this a proposition of sorts? Does Harvey think he's gay? Or know? Or suspect? Harvey is quite attractive, certainly, but Miles has never given any thought to such things. Surely, an honest rejection would be the best course of action, but what if Harvey took offense? They had been assigned to work together on the final project for this class, and that's thirty percent of the course grade.
By the time his brain catches up to the conversation to find an opportune time to politely decline, Harvey is saying, "My girlfriend is playing Juliet, and she gave me a couple of tickets to this Saturday night's showing. You seem like a Shakespeare kind of guy."
Oh. Oh… Miles silently thanked all the powers that be that he had, firstly, only been overthinking this and, secondly, not made a fool of himself by speaking prematurely.
"Well? Are you interested?"
"Uh…" In truth, he usually spent Saturday nights either completing assignments or reading next week's material if he didn't have to perform, but… They had to work together for the rest of the semester. Perhaps he should try to be more sociable. "Pardon me, what time did you say it was again?" He takes out his planner to double-check his schedule — he has a performance on Friday night, but he's technically free this Saturday, aside from a morning shift at the library.
"Eight."
Miles pens it in. "All right. Shall we meet at the theater?"
"Actually, I thought we should meet a few hours before to get started on that project before heading to Celebration together, but if you're busy…"
Oh, this is better than he'd hoped for! He'd quickly learned that most of his classmates wouldn't even dream of starting an assignment this early. "Would four at the law library work for you?" he quickly asks, struggling to contain his delight lest he seem like some bizarre species of freak — this is absolutely worth a Saturday night of distraction.
"Sure. Well, I've got another class in twenty, so…" Harvey waves as he walks away. "See you on Saturday!"
"Yes, see you," Miles replies, ecstatically thanking everything ever inside. An actually invested work partner, and he didn't even have to attend a rock concert or worse for it. A play by Shakespeare even had legitimate intellectual merit.
Miles tidily packs the rest of his belongings and heads to the main library for work with a rare smile on his face. This is the happiest he's been all year.