Chapter Text
Sun Xiang was in a weird mood—at least, weird for him.
He would never consider himself contemplative, but it was the closest word he could find for how he felt now as he weighed his options.
He traced the cover of the notebook sitting on his desk, his short fingernails scratching at the slightly textured binding. Out of every passage written within the notebook's pages, one kept replying in his mind:
Oftentimes, the best approach is the most efficient one.
So many styles in the alliance are aimed at impressing. People want to play prettily or win with flair or execute elaborate strategies to prove themselves.
But what they don't seem to realize is that there's an elegance to straitforwardness. If you don't need a movement or a flourish or a high-level skill, then using one isn't a show of ability or a power play, it's just one more thing keeping you from achieving Glory sooner.
The best tactic is the one that gets you what you want as quickly as possible with the least amount of loss along the way.
See, the thing was, Ye Xiu hadn't gathered any belongings when he'd left Excellent Era. He'd pretty much just walked out into the cold a few weeks ago and left any and all of his things behind as inconsequential.
Sun Xiang hadn't thought about it in the moment, too distracted by the whole 'just met his soulmate' thing at first before he then got caught up in meeting the rest of the team. It hadn't been until he was returning to his room after dinner that he'd seen Su Mucheng coming out of the dorm next to hers with two bags that she quickly brought into her own room. Ye Xiu had noted absentmindedly that she'd likely been grabbing his personal effects from his dorm before management had the cleaning staff go in and get rid of everything out of spite.
It hadn't been the first time that something had made Sun Xiang question if the situation in Excellent Era was actually as he'd been told; between the discomforting discussion with Cui Li and the background thoughts that Ye Xiu wasn't able to suppress before they came through, Sun Xiang had idly wondered if there was more to the story. But that one thought from Ye Xiu had struck him with hesitation in a way nothing else had at that point.
It had been so certain. Ye Xiu hadn't doubted for a moment that Excellent Era would discard his belongings out of pure malice. He'd said it like that outcome was a foregone conclusion, no other explanation to be had.
Something about it all had made Sun Xiang curious. Maybe it had been a desire to see how his soulmate kept a place he lived in, maybe it was pure curiosity, maybe it was wanting to touch a piece of the legacy that now rested on his shoulders, or maybe it was the first stirrings of doubt that he didn't want to acknowledge, but Sun Xiang had crept into the mostly-empty room the day after during lunch. Ye Xiu had still been asleep, so Sun Xiang hadn't had an audience to the snooping he'd done, looking for pieces of Ye Xiu that remained in the space.
He hadn't found much, Su Mucheng having taken most of anything that Ye Xiu would have cared about. No clothes other than uniform variants—no longer needed by the retiree, that's for sure—remained in the drawers, and the relevant toiletries had been rounded up from the bathroom.
The desk was what had interested him most. All the rooms had a gaming computer set up inside, but Ye Xiu's old room contained a second one set up on the back side of the desk like he’d had a regular dueling partner living there too, and off to the right-hand side of the main screen sat a tablet with multiple notebooks stacked underneath. It was definitely more than what had been set up for Sun Xiang two doors down.
He had pulled open the drawers out of curiosity, finding backup keyboards and mouses, pens, a second tablet stylus, and even more notebooks, all filled with rather elegant penmanship at a glance. He didn't think about it much before gathering all of the books up, including the ones under the tablet, to bring back to his own quarters.
Sun Xiang had put them into one of his own drawers for the time being, thinking he'd read through one the next day once his brain stopped hurting from the overload of having a whole other person inside it. But the day after hadn't been any less intense, and well, out of sight, out of mind, so he'd forgotten about them until the day following the match against 301.
Sun Xiang had finished planning out his apology and still had a few hours to kill before Ye Xiu woke up for the day and he could actually say he was sorry. He'd been looking for something to do to keep him from either talking himself into distrusting Su Mucheng after her breakfast ambush or getting so nervous about his upcoming discussion with Ye Xiu that he did something stupid like punch a wall or throw up or call his brother. Then he'd remembered the notebooks.
Sun Xiang had pulled one out, thinking it may be filled with to-do lists or practice plans—something simple that could maybe give him an idea of what Ye Xiu's typical days used to be like in Excellent Era.
He'd been both right and wrong; The notebook's contents did give him an idea of how Ye Xiu had filled his days in Excellent Era, but what his soulmate had put to paper didn't resemble simple in the slightest.
Instead of practice itineraries or reminder lists, the notebook had contained an analysis of the Season 7 playoffs, broken down in depth as Ye Xiu identified each team's tendencies, tactics, and mistakes. There were pages noting the momentum shifts in each match-up, examinations of how various pairs within every team coordinated with each other, how certain maps suited one lineup of classes over another. And Ye Xiu had noted every instance where's he'd have made a different choice than that of those playing, how he'd position Excellent Era to combat this strategy or that skill amplified by those buffs, why certain moves did or didn't work, either in general or due to the particular opponent it was used against.
It was fucking brilliant.
After he'd read through about five pages, Sun Xiang had paused, setting aside the first notebook to pull out the others. He quickly flipped through random pages to see if they were all like the first one, and then he just flicked open the covers once he realized that each notebook contained its own topic. The depth and breadth he found amongst them was insane.
One set he checked had titles like Season 5: Regular Season; Player Analysis: Wang Jiexi as The Magician; Night Walker Classes: Solo, Duo, & Full Team Attack Strategies; Season 7: Summer Roster Changes & Pre-Season Predictions; Season 4: Post-Season; Champion Analysis: Season 6 - Blue Rain; Lvl. 70 Cap Raise: New Skills, SW Upgrades, Predictions; Tactical Evolution: Zhang Xinjie (S4-Present). And those were only the topics covered in the first stack of notebooks.
And as he'd poured over the treasure trove of knowledge while waiting for his soulmate to wake up and let him apologize, Sun Xiang had let go of the last of his illusions about Ye Xiu's capabilities.
He'd already been on the fence after first witnessing Ye Xiu play in-game with Lord Grim through their connection and second seeing how the Excellent Era members performed during practices without their former captain, but it had been impossible to read these notes–which were undeniable proof of just how sharp Ye Xiu's insights on this sport were and are–and still believe that Ye Xiu had been the reason for Excellent Era's decline.
Which meant that Sun Xiang hadn't been brought in to heal the damage Ye Qiu's leadership had done by holding onto the position past when he should have retired. Instead, it meant Sun Xiang had been brought in as the final attack in Excellent Era's war against Ye Qiu. And he couldn't pretend not to know it anymore.
The resulting guilt had rushed through Sun Xiang pretty much immediately after he'd closed the cover of the last notebook, and it hadn't fully faded in the weeks since. He'd gotten better at keeping it behind a constant shield as he tried to work through it on his own, but it was something he still fought with even as their relationship progressed.
Su Mucheng's advice not to place blame on himself for management's actions had helped, since Sun Xiang considered her to be someone who could actually judge whether or not he had amends to make for this. Everyone else in Excellent Era would be too biased to judge (not that he would confide in anyone here anyway), and Ye Xiu was apparently only willing to stick up for others, not himself. Ye Xiu wouldn't tell Sun Xiang that he needed some sort of recompense for what had happened, regardless of whether or not he did.
The only way Sun Xiang could think to make up for it, since Ye Xiu didn't want an apology or even to really acknowledge it, was to be the partner he should have been from the beginning.
So he had worked on listening more when Ye Xiu offered his opinion on Sun Xiang's thoughts and decisions, particularly on doing so without letting his anger erupt over suggested corrections or frustratingly-phrased comments. He had made it a point to not let any residual skepticism crop up when Ye Xiu was sharing Glory tactics with those in his party on the tenth server (since it was a leftover reflex from Excellent Era's manipulation rather than feelings he truly had about Ye Xiu’s capabilities, especially as he started working his way through Tactical Analysis: Facing the Sword and Curse Duo). He'd genuinely befriended Su Mucheng, both as his teammate/colleague and as his soulmate's little sister.
Most importantly (and terrifyingly) he'd pushed himself to be more vulnerable.
When Sun Xiang was little, he'd told his mother that he wanted to be "the best husband ever!" to his soulmate. He'd bounced on the couch next to her, babbling promises as she watched her afternoon programs on the television.
"I'll play with them, and I'll hug them when they're sad, and I'll never, ever lie to them, even if I's in trouble," he swore, resolute in a way that had made her laugh. Even his mother's reminder that it wasn't certain he'd ever find his soulmate hadn't tempered his plans.
And as he'd grown older and understood his parents’ relationship further, Sun Xiang had seen the way his mother lit up at his father's softness—something his father had almost never shown to the rest of the world, his sons included half the time. He'd watched his mother shower his father with kindness and understanding, coaxing him to open up to her and share his frustrations with the knowledge she would help him bear his burdens.
He'd envied it so deeply, simultaneously promising himself he'd offer those same things to his own soulmate if he managed to meet them.
So now that he had found Ye Xiu and accepted the truth of the situation, Sun Xiang was determined to be kind, to be open about himself even when it was unflattering, to be grateful to have Ye Xiu even when they were arguing. But mostly, Sun Xiang was determined to be clear and obvious about wanting him, desiring him—despite how terrified he was about it being one-sided.
Sun Xiang had been so afraid of rejection the first time he'd been suggestive in response to something Ye Xiu said that he had ironically seen his hand tremble slightly as he waited for Ye Xiu's response.
While there had been some vague thoughts on each other's attractiveness crossing the bond on occasion, neither of them had really made a note of it or said anything about it before. Stepping out into new territory when he wasn't sure if it would be welcome had been awful. He'd felt like he was walking into a gunfight without even a knife, just with a smirk and the offer to suck the enemy's cock if he really wanted a show of gratitude.
But Ye Xiu wasn't the enemy, and Sun Xiang’s soulmate had been surprised but pleased at his boldness, flirting back and making Sun Xiang giddy with victory (and relieved beyond imagination behind his shields).
Sun Xiang had kept at it, practicing softness and open admiration until he made it a habit. It was an ongoing process, but one that was showing results.
Their relationship was so much better now than it had been in the beginning, and even with his frustration over Ye Xiu's reluctance to start conversations or ask questions on his own, Sun Xiang felt certain they were moving forward.
The only thing that was still preventing them from taking the next step in all of this wasn't Ye Xiu's silence, especially after he'd promised to work on it last night. No, the last thing in their way now was Sun Xiang's refusal to cross the fucking street.
Sun Xiang knew that Ye Xiu was disappointed he hadn't come over to the internet cafe to see him at any point since they'd opened the bond. With Ye Xiu's traditionalist approach to soulmates, the older man would have seen it as inappropriate to meet up in public before their marks settled, and Ye Xiu coming over to the Excellent Era building would have been . . . yeah, Sun Xiang got why they'd avoided that. So the only acceptable way for them to have spent time together in person would have been for Sun Xiang to covertly go over there and either play next to Ye Xiu in a tucked away space or hole up together in Ye Xiu's supply-closet-turned-room.
He knew he was welcome. Ye Xiu had made it more than clear, his own desire obvious in thought and feeling even if not in explicit words. Surprisingly, Sun Xiang was sure of Ye Xiu's wish for his company without them. That wasn't what kept him from crossing the street.
Nor was it for lack of wanting. Sun Xiang wanted. Badly. Desperately. He wanted to cross the two lanes of traffic between them and fuse himself to Ye Xiu to the point where separating them became unthinkable.
It freaked him out a little, honestly, how much he wanted to be with this man after knowing him for so short a time, but Sun Xiang couldn't imagine knowing Ye Xiu's mind as deeply and intimately as he does and not wanting him like this.
Still, no matter how much Sun Xiang wanted to be over there with Ye Xiu in his free time, sitting next to him or kissing him or hell, even just holding his hand, Sun Xiang couldn't shake the fear that when he finally went and saw Ye Xiu in person again, Ye Xiu would remember that the last time they stood before each other, Sun Xiang had stolen Ye Xiu's livelihood out from under him.
Sun Xiang had told Ye Xiu that he wanted things to be more stable within Excellent Era before he crossed the street, and that wasn't a lie. But that wouldn't have been enough to keep Sun Xiang from his soulmate if that's all that had been holding him back. No, it was the fear of rejection, even after everything they'd worked out between them since they last time they'd looked each other in the face, that had Sun Xiang maintaining this distance.
Sun Xiang knew it was unlikely.
He knew Ye Xiu had separated 'Sun Xiang the replacement' and 'Sun Xiang the soulmate' in his mind almost immediately after everything first went down. It had been impressive and irritating in equal measure to mentally listen to him do it—especially when Sun Xiang was struggling so hard to do the same—but it had given them the chance to build something, so Sun Xiang was grateful for it. In the weeks since, Ye Xiu had even acknowledged Sun Xiang's position and career, reassuring Sun Xiang slightly that they weren't just pretending 'Sun Xiang the replacement' didn't exist in the confines of their relationship.
But the last time he had physically stood before Ye Xiu, Sun Xiang had been gloating about how he was here to replace an obsolete has-been who was dragging the club down with him as he began the descent into obscurity.
Then they'd touched, the bond had opened, and Sun Xiang had been too shocked to continue being a dick. But the thing is, if they hadn't been soulmates—or hell, if one of them had been wearing gloves—he would have kept on being an asshole and wouldn't have doubted for a second that he was right about all of it.
He wouldn't have cared enough to go digging in the former captain's rooms and find his notebooks. He wouldn't have had a front row seat to Ye Xiu's unmatchable expertise as he took the tenth server by storm. He wouldn't have witnessed Ye Xiu’s discernment as he gathered talented but unpolished amateurs to himself and began shaping them into actual weapons.
Sun Xiang may have been working through the guilt he felt over his behavior, but the shame? The shame weighed him down more and more as he grew to esteem Ye Xiu. He couldn't stop thinking that when they finally saw each other in person again, Ye Xiu would remember it all and realize they shouldn't be together.
It was illogical; he knew that, especially after Ye Xiu's words last night explicitly saying he wanted Sun Xiang. That should have put the last of Sun Xiang’s doubts to rest.
And it had, to a point. Enough to have him sitting at his desk and staring at the rearing kasha on his hand like it would tell him what to do as he contemplated whether he should finally go over to the internet cafe on his own or simply wait for Ye Xiu to ask him on an official date in public now that their marks had settled.
It should be a simple choice with the reassurance from last night on top of the dozen times Ye Xiu has tried to tempt him over in the last week alone, but Sun Xiang had built up seeing Ye Xiu in person in his head so much that now, the street felt like a chasm that had opened between them, ominous and metaphoric as to the danger of crossing.
Two quick knocks on the door interrupted his thoughts, and Sun Xiang was grateful for the distraction. Before he could ask who it was, Su Mucheng's voice carried through the door asking if she could enter.
Sun Xiang rose from the chair, stretching a bit to bring circulation back to his legs as he went to open the door. He'd been sitting there for longer than he'd thought.
"Come on in," he waved Su Mucheng inside once the door opened.
Sun Xiang left his desk chair empty for her and went to sit on his bed instead, receiving a sunny smile from Su Mucheng for the gesture.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" She asked, rotating his chair so they were facing each other.
"Nothing I don't welcome a distraction from," he admitted. "What brings you here?"
"I stayed up to dungeon with Ye Xiu's crew last night since there wasn't much for Excellent Era on the schedule today."
"Okay. . . " he said, confusedly. "Even if I were dumb enough to try and tell you what to do, I wouldn't be scolding you for that, since, as you said, it's not like we have anything going on today. Your time is your own?" Sun Xiang couldn't help stating it like a question, hoping Su Mucheng would show mercy and just get to the point.
She pursed her lips, trying and failing to hide her amusement, before finally getting around to the real reason she'd come over.
"Fine, fine. Xiu-ge was weirdly communicative last night, which I'm not even touching right now actually, despite how I can only think of one reason he'd be 'practicing telling people things'," she said, raising her eyebrows at him knowingly.
Sun Xiang blinked back at her, doing his best to express 'I have no idea what you could possibly mean' without saying a word. Su Mucheng was like a shark, if she smelled blood in the water, it was over for him.
"No, what I'm over here to talk about," she said pointedly, watching him with those calm assessing eyes of hers, "is the fact that like forty-five minutes after we finished up the last dungeon run and were just casually leveling and chatting, Ye Xiu gasped into his microphone and abruptly said he had to go."
Sun Xiang waited for her to continue and then sighed when she just kept staring at him expectedly and didn't say anything else. "Again, I'm gonna need more to go on here—like an actual question, perhaps?—if there's something in particular you want to know."
Su Mucheng rolled her eyes. "I feel like the question of 'what'd you say to him?' or at least 'do you know what happened?' was pretty clear, even if implicit, Sun Xiang. But fine. Tang Rou said she saw him fidgeting with his glove before he yanked Lord Grim out of the card reader and said he was going out for a smoke break. According to her, Ye Xiu then proceeded to lock himself in the staff bathroom for 30 minutes before coming out and pretending everything was totally normal and that he hadn't just freaked us out for half and hour."
Sun Xiang forcefully held back his smile, doing his best to keep a curious look on his face so he could get more info on how strongly Ye Xiu had reacted to their settled soulmark. Su Mucheng would cut herself off and he'd lose out on unbiased knowledge of Ye Xiu's reaction if Sun Xiang showed how enamored he was with this man.
"He didn't sound bad or anything when he logged back on, and Tang Rou said he seemed weirdly energized rather than his usual unreadable stoicism," Su Mucheng continued, unknowingly making Sun Xiang's day.
"So I'm not here to read you the riot act or anything, but I'm just crazy curious and wanted to check that everything was okay with you guys," she said, nudging him with her foot even as she narrowed her eyes playfully.
He just sent a wry look back at her, and before he could begin to answer, she smiled ruefully and said, "Feel free to tell me to back off, of course, if it's something private. But Sun Xiang," she groaned, flopping back into the chair and sprawling out exaggeratedly before looking back at him and clapping her hands together in supplication. "It has been a trial to hold out from coming to beg you to tell me as long as I did. Xiu-ge wouldn't say a thing other than that everything was good and there was no reason to worry."
"Well," Sun Xiang started, smirking at her eyes widened in anticipation. "Everything is good and there isn't any reason to worry."
"Boooooo," Su Mucheng jeered back at him, giving him a pointed thumbs down as she did it.
He laughed before shaking his head and telling her, "No, really. We had a slightly fraught discussion earlier in the night before I went to bed, but that was probably at least an hour before you guys ran dungeons. I was definitely asleep by the time this happened."
She frowned. "So you don't know either?"
He finally let his lips quirk up into the smug smile he'd been holding onto. "I didn't say that."
"Ugh, don't you dare start trying to be cryptic and mysterious too. I can only handle so much of it in my life and Xiu-ge already overfills that quota," she complained, making Sun Xiang burst into laughter.
He was absolutely telling Ye Xiu that she said that. It was way too funny not to use that one against him at some point.
"Fine, fine, alright, I'll go out on a limb and guess it's because our mark settled at some point last night," he admitted.
Su Mucheng gasped, almost falling out of the chair as she straightened up from her dramatic pose, lips already curling up into the biggest smile he'd ever seen on the woman's face.
"Oh my god, finally!"
Sun Xiang snorted and had barely opened his mouth to say 'preach' before his arms were full of Su Mucheng and his ribs were complaining about how tightly her arms were squeezing him.
"Congratulations! Oh, I am so happy for you two. Just so, so happy."
Sun Xiang closed his mouth and wrapped his arms around Su Mucheng's back, returning the hug as best he could. He was out of practice at casual intimacy but had two excellent reasons to improve. "Thank you," didn't seem to be enough, but they were the only words he had right now. Something told him Su Mucheng wouldn't mind.
Eventually, she pulled back and sat back down on his desk chair, glancing at his arm quickly before shaking her head and averting her eyes.
"You can look if you'd like," he offered. "You know I'm all for showing it off, especially to someone Ye Xiu would think worthy of seeing it. I just assumed he'd want to be the one to show you."
"No, no, that's a good point," she sighed, her impatience clear by the way she pouted in the chair. "Thank you though. But if he waits too long to show me, I'll be taking you up on that."
Sun Xiang laughed and agreed before finally answering her in full. "So, yeah, Ye Xiu probably went to itch his hand or something last night, saw color, and realized what had happened. I'd probably have locked myself into the first private room containing a mirror too if I had been in his position when I noticed."
"Oh, for sure, with the context, definitely a valid reaction. Just freaked me out in the moment," she said. Then she paused and looked at him, observing the tension in his frame that he had been trying and failing to release since he'd woken up and seen that his time to procrastinate had run out.
"So, what now?" she finally asked. "The waiting for the marks to settle is over, and . . . " she trailed off questioningly, eyes intent as they watched him take a bracing breath.
"Well, two questions for you, and the answer kinda depends on the first one," he admitted, pushing all the insecurity he'd been stewing in recently aside and trying to gather some bravery in its place.
"Sure, hit me."
"Do you think he'd rather I go over to the cafe to see him or would he prefer I plan something really nice for our first time being together in public?"
"You mean like a fancy dinner or something?" she clarified, grinning at the idea before sighing and shaking her head. "That sounds lovely, Sun Xiang, but I think Xiu-ge would like to be the one to plan that for you. However," she said leadingly, raising her eyebrows and staring him down with that pleasant smile that meant pain if he didn't comply, "I bet he'd love it if you went over there and just saw him more casually at first though."
Yeah, Sun Xiang thought so too. Ugh, time to stop being a coward.
He nodded, ignoring the smug look on Su Mucheng's face as she clapped and jumped up, seeing herself out so he could 'make himself presentable' for the long-awaited meetup. Subtle. Also, ouch.
"Wait," she stopped and turned around, eyebrows furrowing as she remembered, "what was the second question?"
"Oh, uh." Sun Xiang ducked his head a bit, lips twisting sheepishly. "Can you fix my hair or whatever?"
Su Mucheng's face lit up, and she let out a sound that was dangerously close to a squeal before agreeing and approaching, hands already reaching out ominously.
"You can do this. You can do this. Get a grip and get in there already."
Here he was, outside the cafe, hood up and shoulders hunched in a subpar attempt to prevent anyone from recognizing him, giving himself a (pathetic) pep talk, and it wasn't even fucking working.
Instead, every time Sun Xiang tried to make himself turn and grab the door handle, he felt his throat close up and his chest grow tight.
"Agh, what is wrong with me?" he groaned, clenching his hands into fists so tightly he could see the veins on his hands popping out. "Just go in there and be cool, for fuck's sake. Be chill, be hot, don't let him aggravate you into saying something stupid, and don't pop a boner at the sight of him. Easy."
Sun Xiang knocked one fist against his temple, like it would embed the instructions in his mind. He'd definitely just hit himself harder than he meant to but whatever whatever pull it together Sun Xiang.
God, why couldn't he get it together? This shouldn't be a hard thing.
Bonding unexpectedly to someone he'd been manipulated into hating had been hard. Realizing and then actually admitting he'd been manipulated had been hard. Being nineteen in a new city, starting a new job with no support or backup from anyone who actually mattered (until Su Mucheng) and undertaking the Sisyphean task of filling his soulmates shoes had been and still was hard. Dealing with his family and their belief that he'd never meet his soulmate had been hard. Walking into a cafe to see his talented, funny, good-looking soulmate who he logically knew wanted to be with him? This should be easier than practically anything he'd done since he arrived in City H.
But fuck, Sun Xiang was so goddamn terrified that he'd walk in there and he'd see rejection in Ye Xiu's eyes when they were finally face-to-face again.
He could feel the fear crawling its way up his throat, making every inhale a struggle. He paused in his pacing as lightheadedness hit him, the air feeling thin as he tried and failed to regulate his breathing. He sagged backwards, slumping against the outer wall of the cafe.
He offhandedly thought it was fortunate he'd stopped pacing when and where he had. If he'd have collapsed backwards onto the ground, he would have preferred it just open up and swallow him whole, thanks. Better to die via random sinkhole than anxiety-induced asphyxiation.
The sudden shock of someone else's hands firmly gripping his wrists pulled Sun Xiang out of the building anxiety attack. The hands now grounding him were strong and sure as they squeezed for just a moment before they slid down to Sun Xiang’s clenched fists and purposefully released his fingers from where his nails bit into his palms.
The rearing kasha on the top of one of the hands soothing his own was too familiar for Sun Xiang to dwell in any level of denial about the identify of the kind stranger helping him.
Fuck. Sun Xiang really needed to stop making a fool of himself in front of Ye Xiu, especially now that his unconscious shielding was good enough for all his inner thoughts to not immediately transfer over and reveal him to his soulmate anyway.
Sun Xiang closed his eyes and let his head hit the wall behind him with a heavy thunk.
Now that the panic had receded slightly, he could feel Ye Xiu's worry-amusement-peace-calm coming through the bond. It made Sun Xiang feel just a tiny bit better that he could tell Ye Xiu had only wanted to send him the relaxing emotions but hadn't been able to keep his own feelings out of the transfer once he adjusted his shields to open the bond.
It probably shouldn't, but seeing the truth of each other, especially the imperfect parts, always did.
"Will you kick me if I ask you to take a deep breath?" Ye Xiu asked softly, thumbs rubbing soothingly over Sun Xiang's palms like it would erase the imprints from his fingernails.
Sun Xiang huffed out a laugh despite himself. "Maybe," he said back, voice flat even as he closed his fingers over Ye Xiu's and squeezed.
He inhaled once, shakily, and let it out slowly, repeating this a few more times until his chest felt lighter. Sun Xiang's lips twitched as he felt Ye Xiu's relief-satisfaction, and he let his begrudging gratitude out into the bond in return.
Once he'd gathered himself, he finally opened his eyes and was treated to the sight of Ye Xiu, slouching a bit and squinting like seeing the sun was a new and disagreeable experience but still standing there in the daylight nonetheless, patient as ever.
The rush of fondness Sun Xiang felt at the sight of him was too great to be stopped by Sun Xiang's passive shields, but Sun Xiang didn't care, because Ye Xiu's resulting smile was gorgeous, breathtaking. Worth the embarrassment, for sure.
The last of Sun Xiang's worries vanished. The scenarios he'd built out of his anxieties and insecurities crumbling into impossibilities in the face of Ye Xiu's obvious happiness at having Sun Xiang here, in front of him, finally in arm's reach.
Wow, you really do have a crush on me, don't you little Sun? Ye Xiu teased, like he wasn't a mess of joy-pleasure-excitement-desire-relief inside too.
Sun Xiang couldn't decide whether he wanted to kick him or kiss him.
How fortunate it's requited, Ye Xiu continued before Sun Xiang could choose, lifting Sun Xiang's still-gloved hand to his lips and brushing a soft kiss over where the head of the kasha would sit.
Sun Xiang felt himself go a little weak in the knees again. Wow.
"Also," Ye Xiu said, pleasure and mischievousness ringing down the bond, "just to clarify, you're absolutely allowed to get hard at the sight of me."
"Oh fuck off," Sun Xiang said, mortified. Then he gave up any lingering attempt to be composed and did his best to wipe the smirk off Ye Xiu's face,
Between one breath and the next, Sun Xiang had them flipped around, Ye Xiu now the one pressed against the building as Sun Xiang squeezed his hips. He took in the slight dilation of Ye Xiu's eyes and the tight grip of Ye Xiu's hands on his shoulders and felt as powerful as the Battle God himself.
Ye Xiu's want-need-victory flared down the bond, and Sun Xiang surged forward and finally, finally kissed the other half of his soul.