Chapter Text
Alastor’s POV
After being given the ultimatum, Alastor saw no further need for his presence and descended in shadows. Slinking through the hotel, he cannot say he is surprised by Charlie’s decision. If anything, he is proud of her for finally using the backbone she seems to finally have grown. Though an unintended byproduct of facing Vox, the girl seems to be growing in confidence everyday. She is still her usual bubbly and overcheerful self, but she is changing and it seems like it’s for the better.
For her to be observant enough to punish Lucifer and him with the one thing they hate the most- being in close proximity to each other, it truly is brilliant. A page right of Alastor’s own book (why it’s half the reason Husker is here). So, while he is most definitely annoyed, it is followed by pride more than anything else. To have a hand in shaping the very princess of hell, well, that’s quite a feat that can only be topped perhaps by parents of said princess. Besides, staying at the hotel now is his choice. Molding the princess, a product of his free will. An added bonus being l to stay and test the limits with the King of Hell. Poke and Prod, anything to see those red eyes and devilish horns. Whatever it takes to make the devil keep his attention on Alastor.
Speaking of bothering Lucifer, Alastor has devised and perfected a new plan that is sure to get under the king’s skin while meandering the hotel. All he needs to do is find a certain one eyed maid and delegate.
Destination in mind, he continues slinking down to the basement. This time of day, Nifty is usually down there starting the morning round of laundry. Alastor materializes behind her as she’s scampering from bin to bin tossing in piles of cloth into large industrial washers.
She might get upset since his task will most likely interfere with her strict schedule but if she does it satisfactorily, there will be a reward only Nifty could appreciate.
Always tuned in to his presence, Nifty turns her big eye up to Alastor. “Good Morinin Sir, whatcha need?”
“Ahh, never one to beat around the bush Nifty dear, I have a task for you.”
He can sense the maniacal glee bouncing off her as the task is explained. She is practically giddy with chaotic glee as she zips on to her destination, her directive clear.
Alastor could not be more pleased. He knows Nifty will not disappoint and the anticipation is sure to drive him mad. Though anything worth having or doing is worth waiting. Perhaps there’s a few new residents he could bother or do his job as Host. MMhmmm, no to that last part. Plus no one is ever going to be as entertaining as Lucifer himself. Any momentary annoyance caused by being in his presence is worth it. To what end is it worth it? Not even The Radio Demon knows. He just needs Lucifer to pay attention to him. With that in mind, Alastor does his best to waste time until dinner.
Nifty POV
After being asked by The Best Bad Boy ever to reorganize the kitchen in the most chaotic way possible, Nifty sped all the way up there not even stopping to say good morning to Baxter on her way out. Yes her meticulous schedule would be ruined for the day and there would be setbacks for days as she set everything to rights, but the little demon knew just how important messing with the King of all bad boys was to Alastor. She also knew Al could not do this task himself lest he be accused of sabotage. If that happened, Nifty might lose her favorite bad boy. she did not want to have to choose between the hotel or one of the few people who indulged her every chaotic whim.
Alastor did not ever ask her for much. Three things really. Anything else falls under one of the 3 things he expects of her. It works for them even if no one else would ever understand.
- Do her job as dictated by Charlie.
- Reign hell on all roaches or other bugs in hell. Moth man is going to join the collection any day now.
- Live her afterlife to the fullest.
Number one may have been more recent but it has not been bad at all.
Number 2 is really Nifty’s self appointed task, but it ties into number 3.
Ever since Alastor found her, took her in, and taught her how to live in Hell she has been loyal to the Radio Demon. He hardly ever asked anything of her- at least not so directly. She could count on her hand the number of times he had directly involved her in something. The most recent being the hotel and now this task. Usually it was her doing all the asking and Alastor would always indulge.
So when he asked for something, no matter how small or big, she’d do it to the best of her ability.
Which is why she is in the kitchen switching sharp knives for dull ones, playing Bob the Builder with the cabinets turning all the doors upside down so the little king would have to get even shorter. Something she knows makes Alastor happy is the fact that he is so much taller than the King bad boy. So, if Nifty can make him a little shorter, even for a moment, she will do it. She replaces all the sugar with salt and vice versa. The very next thing she decides to do is perhaps the most diabolical but it will truly be worth it. All labels on cans are swapped around or removed completely.
When she gets to the utensil drawers she does the thing she swore she would never do, puts in sporks in the forks and spoons place. As much as Nifty loathes sporks (and by proxy Alastor) this will all be worth it she tells herself. The tiny demon really hates that she did not dispose of these monstrosities when the King bad boy said the hotel residents should have as many utensil options as possible before. They will absolutely be gone after this prank though. Nifty will not forget this time. Though it does speak to how much this means to Alastor that he would even entertain sporks in the kitchen.
Next is the lightbulbs. While everyone will most likely be able to see in the dark, it will be most annoying in a dim atmosphere. Just enough light to see, but not enough to keep focus. The worst type of Ambience. Plus as Alastor always tells her, plausible deniability. The lightbulbs could just be going out, no one would have any reason to mess with lights, no sirree nope!
The next object that will inevitably betray King Bad Boy will be the stove/oven. Too bad the Good Boy snake isn’t here anymore, he could ensure which wires to cross without blowing up the whole kitchen. But maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing Nifty thinks. Ohhhh, what if King Bad Boy uses his pretty wings to shield Alastor from the blast and he lands on top AND THEY KISS!!!!!! Mwahhhahahaha
Suddenly the kitchen becomes a booby trapped minefield waiting to unleash it’s meticulously planned chaos on two poor unsuspecting souls. Let it be known, Nifty is not stupid. She knows this. There may be two brain cells running around up top, but they are the smartest of brain cells. King Bad Boy and her King Roach. They should be kings together and rule hell! After they kiss of course.
She knows that the tension between King Roach and King Bad Boy is the type to make old aunties blush. They are always in each other’s orbit, always seeking out the other. They both would never admit to it but while Nifty may not know King Bab Boy too well, she does know Alastor. She was there for the beginning and end of Alastor and Vox. Even back then, Al had never ever reacted to Vox the way he did to the fallen angel. And don’t even get Nifty started on the looks. Both of them would get a spark, a flicker, some sort of smoldering like a fire wanting to catch.
Nifty didn’t know why King Bad Boy didn’t regonize what was happening though maybe it has something to do with that golden band sitting so innocuously on a charred pinky. It does make it complicated if you’re still pining after a woman that hasn’t spoken to you in 8 years I suppose.
Nifty would never wait that long, at least she doesn’t think she would. Especially not for a marriage all but ended in name. So no, she didn’t quite understand why Lucifer didn’t see the attraction between Alastor and him. Now her King Roach, she did understand at least to some degree. He would not understand attraction if it hit him with a crimson wing and said please fuck me!! No. The man ran from commitment of all kinds like the reaper going after a century old nun in the midst of a heart attack.
All this to say, King Bad Boy and her King Roach should just fuck all their problems out of their system. Or hells just kiss already. Whatever they consent to. So long as they did something about this simmering heat between them. There would be less property damage and everybody could rest easy knowing the weird courtship dance was over.
Until then, Her and Angel had a bet on how long the two man could keep at it before they either fucked or killed each other. Husk has survival instincts so he refuses to gamble in this particular game. Speaking of Angel, I hope the spider comes home soon.
Nifty is gonna need to clear her schedule for the foreseeable future. She has a new goal in mind and she can’t do it wasting time with laundry or stains. The roaches she would still have to keep an eye on, they were gearing up for another uprising with the rats as allies. She would just ask Charlie for some time off or not sleep so the hotel didn’t get more disgusting. , but whatever time she had available is gonna be dedicated to this most important task of the century. Operation Kiss Trap Two Kings is a go. The name can be workshopped.
Lucifer’s POV
After Red Guy leaves, Charlie turns her whole focus on her father. He fidgets nervously. He just hopes she doesn't hate him too much. It's just so hard to ignore the bell hop and not rise to the bait.
“Dad, you know I love you right? I don't want you to leave the hotel. Far from it. I just can't mediate between you and Alastor all the time.”
Ah succinctly and to the point, she looks just like her mother at this moment. Always an I love you but… no, Charlie isn't Lilith. This is not going to be like that conversation.
Telling himself that does not ease the worry. Charlie has already asked him to leave the hotel once so there is no question that she means it. But how does he even begin to explain the dynamic between him and the Radio Demon? Yes they fight. Yes they get on each other's nerves, poke and prod at each other's insecurities, but they'd never actually get into a life or death brawl. Last night aside… Seeing what fresh torment awaits at the hands of the deer is what is getting Lucifer to leave his room half the time. (The other half being Charlie of course). So, yes they piss each other off, but it's not with malicious intent-most of the time.
Realizing he's been spacing out, the King offers an apology.
“I'm trying Charlie, I really am.”
She crosses her arms and looks away. “I know dad, I just want to understand.”
“What's to understand?” Again he has no idea how to explain why he has to react to his arch nemesis, just that he does. It's like asking why the apple tree grows apples. It just does.
“Dad, I just need you to know I'm not doing this for no reason. I do think you and Alastor could be friends, like actual healthy friends.”
“Charlie, it's hell, healthy friendships are like unicorns. Everybody here is codependent, addicted to something, got mommy/daddy issues, or some other thing that-” shit, he's basically badmouthing the hotel and his daughter's dream. Just great, even when the red guy isn't in the room he's a problem. Gold star for hell's worst dad.
Lucifer can feel the tears pooling in his eyes. He moves to wipe them away. Before they can fall, dainty white hands grab his cheeks and lift his face.
“Dad, as long as I see even a tiny bit of effort on your part, I won't ask you to leave. Just give friendship a chance, give this bonding activity a chance, give me a chance. Please, because right now you're…you're my dad, and I need you to trust me.
“Of course I trust you Charlie.” She's proven against all odds redemption is possible. It would be stupid not to at this point. It'd just be nice if she wouldn't threaten his staying at the hotel by trying to meddle with whatever's between him and the bellhop. Because whatever it is, it's making him want to get up in the morning, especially on days where Charlie is too busy to entertain him. Lucifer doesn't hold it against her at all. The hotel is the busiest it's ever been. So, it's only natural he gives his attention to one of the few people who actively seeks it out. He just wants to understand the other man in his own way.
“You know I love you.” Charlie says it while letting go of his face and backing away.
Lucifer fiddles with his ring while he stands. He can't help hearing another voice despite his daughter being the one in front of him. You know I love you my star. There's always a catch, always an I love you but. Something's always missing, always lacking when it comes to the angel. God just didn't make him with the right pieces. That's why the women in his life always say but after I love you.
“I love you too.” With that he puffs away back to his tower to spend each agonizing minute waiting for what could have been a fun competition that will now be nothing short of painful. Because if he doesn't do this right, can't make friends with the radio demon, then he has to leave the hotel.