Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Donghgyuck woke to an empty house. A fact that arrived rather clearly and unsurprisingly, but still, he found himself hesitating in the doorway of the spare room. His gaze lingered on the neatly made bed, the fluffed pillows, the unbearable, supposedly thoughtful gesture. Mark had left. Not that Donghyuck didn’t predict that the other might try and dash first thing in the morning, but he had surely hoped he could have caught him before he went.

In the end, he found himself a hangover cure that was waiting for him in his cabinet, and fixed himself a rather plain breakfast. Not that he felt eager to eat, not with the sad emptiness in his stomach. 

He considered for a brief moment to call the other, but considering the other had not even texted him, the idea seemed rather foolish. It felt a little persistent of him to try. And logically, almost too considerate considering Mark had to have his little self-implosion on Donghyuck’s bed. 

It left Donghyuck with the strangest shame, the worst kind of guilt. The lingering doubt and absurdly misguided feelings that he had done years of work to get over. He had spent his whole adolescence hoping to outgrow who he was. Had wanted to be the perfect idol that he was always promising everyone he would be. And somehow, being in love with men had made him feel like he was failing to live up to that expectation.

But Donghyuck had dug his own claws into himself, torn himself inside out, and found that he was rather okay with who he was.

Had found that his real friends had never cared when they caught on. Whether his taste in books and films had caused a small pause from Jisung before the other smiled and said he had good taste. Or when Chenle had jokingly asked if the fans were right about him and Mark, and Donghyuck just shrugged and smiled, and that little laugh and nod that Chenle gave back had meant the world. Donghyuck didn’t ask who knew and who didn’t. Those were just words that didn’t feel quite relevant, well, minus the time Johnny had choked when he saw Donghyuck dancing a little angry and a little close with a pretty man at one of those elite clubs.

He'd spat something later on, whilst Johnny stared at him with a curiously quirked eyebrow, “Got a problem?”

Johnny had shaken his head and drank a long sip, gaze flickering away as if to search for Donghyuck’s friendly acquaintance. “Not at all. Just not who I expected.”

That had been it.

And Donghyuck had never seen that other guy again.

Not when he knew he just had to be patient, knew that Mark was just a little slower with the self-acceptance.

Donghyuck never quite fathomed just how slow.

He remembered the wet, sad eyes. Mark’s green face when he had been seconds from throwing up. A thick lump formed in his throat. He fumbled for his headphones. He should go work out, or go over choreography, or reply to Jeno.

He swiped open his phone. Saw the lack of notifications from Mark and promptly switched it off again.

Mark freaking out had not been entirely out of the equation, but he had considered that to be an afterwards thing, or maybe a before. The thought of Mark shoving him away in the club had seemed entirely more digestible. But he hadn’t. Mark had looked so… happy. With his nervously bitten lips, and the way he had softened against Donghyuck like he had released a long-held breath. Or after, maybe in the morning, after with Donghyuck, he could imagine Mark with shaky breaths and his head in his hands as he wondered if he had something wrong. But Donghyuck had always imagined himself to be so clear-headed, and he could take the other into a comforting touch and kiss his palms and tell him what he needed to hear.

Now Donghyuck felt like he was sixteen, and he wanted to indulge in ice cream and sulk in his room.

Because Mark had left him in the middle of something beautiful. Had rotted away like Donghyuck was poison. And Donghyuck wanted to understand, and maybe he would tomorrow or in a week, but right now… it hurt.

Mark should be here. To be all sheepish and shy, and for Donghyuck to coddle and hug and pinch his humiliated red cheeks. But he wasn’t.

Donghyuck was left to sulk alone.

Dance practice began to mean that Mark was avoiding eye contact. He also had a rather prominently tense jaw, and Donghyuck caught in the mirror the few times that Mark had to touch where it ached.

He could give the asshole credit where credit was due. Mark was rather good at not flinching every time Donghyuck had to graze or pass him during their run-throughs. Renjun had even nodded approvingly during the part that Mark had previously fumbled.

When they took a water break, Mark was staring at the ceiling as he squeezed the life out of his bottle. Donghyuck had offered a long, waiting look. His sneaker was tapping the floor rather quickly. Come on, he just needed one show of Mark’s sad, stupid face for this all to feel like a bad dream. For Donghyuck to pluck that blunt, irritating hair of annoyance. But it seemed impossible.

Even in their little group huddles, when Dream’s very sweet leader usually liked to take a moment to hype them. Mark stuttered all through a short compliment to Donghyuck, all whilst letting his eyes stare at his shoes rather than his face. Like Donghyuck had not just had to wait through the very exaggerated praise that Mark had given Jeno.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow but seemed to forget the moment Mark turned to him and gave him a thumbs up about his ‘like, really awesome facial expressions.’

The members had shuffled out of the doorway, seemingly rather pleased with the session, and Donghyuck had given a sideways glance to Mark. He knew they were supposed to do a meeting with 127 now, to finish up some final creative decisions for the new year’s comeback.

Mark could probably feel his stare, if the way he nervously scratched his neck was anything to go by. He had a bare face today. And it was the first time they had been alone since Mark had disappeared on him the other night. And under the bright lights of the practice room, which seemed to be so burning just to catch mistakes, Donghyuck could see the slight eye bags that had begun to form under the others' evasive eyes. It brought a pang of pity. Not that it was unfamiliar to see members tired and pushing through, but because Donghyuck simply resented being the reason Mark lost sleep.

“Are you feeling better?” Donghyuck asked, tongue heavy in his mouth but keeping a rather neutral tone.

Mark tensed like it surprised him to be spoken to so directly. But he nodded, and for the first time, he gave a quick look to Donghyuck. It was a tremble of a glance. It was so rushed and scared. Like Donghyuck might just unstring him right then and there if it lasted long because they both knew he could if he so wanted. That Donghyuck was the only one who could convince Mark of anything he wanted. That everything he thought was set in stone was actually unpromised and constantly changing. That Donghyuck could show him exactly how green the grass was on the other side. But he didn’t. He let Mark look away, let Mark stay stubborn and still.

Not now, not today, when for once Donghyuck was hurting still. Even if it killed him to see Mark look so lost.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mark said, lying like he didn’t have a tense face and like his stomach was not flipping around inside him. There was a loud swallow. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Alright. Whatever you say,” Donghyuck said, slipping over to the door. He pulled it open, and ever the one who didn’t have time for the stilted lies and mean avoidance, made his way out without the other.

He had heard Mark stumble to follow him. An unbearable distance in their steps.

Donghyuck was sure he could not last a day like this. His hands squeezed the strap of his bag tight. He would skip getting changed; the other guys could deal with it. And he didn’t feel like rushing through a shower or sharing a changing room with Mark.

Mark must have decided otherwise, because he heard the footsteps turn down a different corridor. Donghyuck was about to roll his eyes before he heard one final, tiny sniffle.

It felt like a blank washed over him, and he nearly stopped walking right then and there.

The meeting had come and gone, and once again, Mark had evaded meeting his gaze when he could. Even though his face looked considerably puffier than when Donghyuck had last seen him. So much so that Johnny had very kindly told Mark that he looked bad, and a female staff member bluntly offered to fetch him a cold cloth.

But Mark had not evaded saying Donghyuck’s name during the meeting. Remarking on a recent argument that Haechan wouldn’t suit a certain line they had heard from a demo – a stance that Mark seemed rather frustrated with. As he made a rather sour face and looked to one of the producers and creative directors, and promised them that ‘Donghyuck can suit anything, and he’ll improve it too.’ And then his mouth had snapped shut, and a crease between his eyebrows drew itself up like Mark suddenly remembered exactly what sort of situation the two of them were in.

Still, Donghyuck softened and rolled his eyes. Mark was such an idiot, but his loyalty was truly unrivalled. And he had looked foolishly difficult to work with when saying things that Donghyuck could have said if he had wanted. But still, it was rather satisfying to see the other like this. All riled up because there was nothing Mark was more passionate about than music, and Donghyuck.

Mark was in the seat to his left, head snapped away to still stare at a particularly stubborn director.

Tentatively, and with the hesitancy of someone still considering sulking a bit longer, Donghyuck touched his thigh beneath the table.

It seemed Mark had gotten changed, and his sweatpants had been traded for black jeans. Donghyuck’s nails scratched over the fabric softly.

He leaned in, his other arm reaching out to make a show of grabbing a random paper that had been scattered on the table. He dropped his voice low as he spoke, “Very professional, Markie.”

His eyes raked over the goosebumps that spread across the other’s forearms. Tuned out the words that were being spoken and instead listened to the nervous swallow of the other.

For a moment, it felt like how it always had. Mark was all nervous and shy in a secretive way that only Donghyuck could see. But this time, he could see the slight perspiration on his hairline, and the way his cheekbones were more prominent from holding his breath.

“Yeah, uh, thanks,” Mark whispered, not looking at him.

Mark still avoided him.

Dance practice – he spoke to Donghyuck in a rehearsed, stilted way. Even though Donghyuck could feel the eyes on him in their usual needy way whenever his shirt lifted with a dance move. He wanted to turn and catch Mark in the act, to snort and smirk and tease like he always had, but what was the point? Mark would avert his gaze too quickly, would stutter about needing water and disappear before being bubbled with a knowing Donghyuck.

In meals with members, Mark tried to casually insert himself elsewhere, between Jeno and Chenle or Johnny. Which, first of all, rude. Donghyuck was being incredibly nice by not ignoring Mark, and he was getting ignored in return?

At least, his cute Mark had done him the favour of not acting bitter and scornful. When Donghyuck was overcome with frustration, he would slide his foot against the side of Mark’s ankle under the table, and as he hoped, he would see the other stumble through his sentence and see his cheeks heat up. All just for Mark to jerk his foot away after letting Donghyuck’s touch linger an inch too long.

Even when Jeno had a crooked frown at the growing distance, or Chenle confusedly asked why Mark skipped out on a spa trip with them.

Thankfully, social media managers had always been particularly untimely and disengaged with group chemistry. Much too focused on what was trending, and trying to catch members in free time to boost engagement.

Donghyuck, with a pinched smile, nodded as one of the social media staff explained how necessary it was that he and another member do the latest dance trend.

“With whom?” he had asked, swallowing a yawn. Jaemin had just been here – was he supposed to go chase him down and drag him to the hallway for this? His knees were aching, and he had a bad romcom waiting to be finished on his tv.

They tapped a manicured nail to a sleek black tablet. A fake smile was plastered on their face. “We were thinking Mark, it’s been a while,” came the sugary-sweet voice.

The work was piling up for him. “He’s not here.”

The corners of stretched lips twitch. “Find him. Practice, and then come find me,” came the much sharper reply. He had the faintest memory of that dramatic moment when a character in a cheesy show had said ‘I quit!’ in immediate response to her boss, and wondered how it might feel to ever do that.

His shoulders sagged when the staff member finally left. And the aircon hummed faintly in an otherwise silent room. He swiped his phone open and found Mark’s contact. They had not messaged since before.

           Mark. Where are you?

The message was read near immediately, and it caused the strangest tumble of his gut. The typing started, disappeared, and started again. C’mon Markie. He wanted to see his face. To see if he was fumbling with his phone, red-cheeked and nervous, or trying his best to look cool. Or if he looked as sick as he did when he had shoved off of him.

Donghyuck’s chest hurt.

Y?  

Meet me at prac room

Our one.

im with the guys 

Good for you. We have work to do

ill be there in 10

Donghyuck felt a pin underneath his tongue, a quick rush in his head as he typed out his last reply before he pocketed his phone.

Good boy.

Mark had a red flush that climbed from the collarbones that poked out of the collar of his black shirt to the highest points of his cheeks. But as he pushed the door shut and dropped his bag lazily by Donghyuck’s, he could see in real time the way he forced himself to look mad. A snake-y pinched curl of his lips, and overly exaggerated scrunched brows. Cute. Donghyuck was definitely going to call him a good boy again.

He looked a little trapped in his own sulk as he reluctantly padded over to Donghyuck in the middle of the dance room. Although foolishly, Mark’s angry look fell apart when the older boy nervously reached to pinch his own earlobe. Clutching it in a way that looked more like it was cradling.

Mark looked unable to find words, his pretty mouth parted, and his bottom lip still glossy with spit. Perhaps he was caught between wanting to stubbornly tell Donghyuck not to flirt with him, being responsible and dropping it, and maybe throwing himself at him.

“Everything alright there, Markie?” he asked sagely, giving him a sparing glance before he pulled out his phone and began to swipe to a video of the latest trending dance they were supposed to learn. TikTok might be the first social media platform he truly would never understand.

There was no reply, or at least not one that came quickly enough for Donghyuck’s liking.

He showed the video to Mark. A little thankful that they had been doing this long enough that they could have an entirely silent transaction of dialogue.

‘It’s another stupid 30-second dance?’ was what Mark’s quirked eyebrow seemed to say.

Donghyuck’s lip twitched as if to say yes with a rather prolonged sarcastic edge.

Still, they fell into it. With them both figuring out the essential moves, the strange hip twist at the end made Donghyuck wonder if this was going to be cringey or enticing to the fans. They moved through it slow and lazy the first couple of times, staring the entire time at the propped-up phone that looped the short dance. Then they increased, fell into that natural roll of their limbs that had come with over a decade of dancing lessons under their belts and suddenly they weren’t looking at the phone but the mirrors. Their reflections were being critiqued actively because even short, forgettable dances had to be perfect because that was what it meant to be an idol. Donghyuck had found the rhythm, as he always seemed to do. He looked at himself in the mirror boredly before the catch of something a little off stole his attention.

Mark was tense. He was unlike himself. His jaw was set, and there was the slightest amount of sweat above his lip. He had an almost clunky swish to his movement. It lacked the usual ease that Mark had always embodied when he danced. Which was strange, because, Donghyuck narrowed his eyes back at the forgotten looping video, this dance wasn’t that hard.

He staggered out of the dance, and Mark shot him a confused look in the mirror.

Donghyuck walked to him, slow and easy,  and watched the way Mark slowly stopped as well. He circled him once and then stopped behind him. His hand caught his wrist, and his other moved in front to press against Mark’s stomach.

There was a panicked gasp. “Hyuck?”

At least it was nice to know that Mark still remembered what to call him.

“You’re being way too tense, you look like a robot next to me,” Donghyuck said honestly, “Run through it again.”

Mark scoffed. “You flatter yourself.” It was oozing with sarcasm, but ever Donghyuck’s perfect thing, Mark did as he was told. Mark slowly moved through the dance. They were both staring at the same spot now.

Donghyuck lazily dragged Mark’s arm through the motion they had already done a dozen times. This time, daring it to glide rather than stutter, and his fingertips soft on Mark’s shirt, urging him to ease rather than tense.

It looked better, but Mark had wide eyes that tracked Donghyuck’s hands the entire time.

“Don’t overthink it, dance like you always do,” Donghyuck whispered to him. He narrowed his eyes at how the backs of Mark’s ears were burning red.

“I am,” Mark hissed.                                                                                      

Donghyuck let go, took a few long steps back, internally snorted at the disappointed downturn of Mark’s lips, and squatted to the floor. “Do it again,” he instructed.

Mark sulked. Not beginning to move but not saying anything either.

Donghyuck felt a shiver of something foregone. “Mark,” he called softly, and the boy threw his head over his shoulder to stare at him. The ceiling lights reflected like a million pitiful little stars in Mark’s wide eyes. “It’s just us in the room. It’s just me. Got that?”

There wasn’t a nod or a sound of affirmation, but he did not need one. Not when Mark looked back at the mirror, and he saw the shoulders lift with the intake of a much-needed breath.

This time, when Mark danced, it was perfect.

“Perfect.” Donghyuck couldn’t help himself. He stood back up and walked over. “You did such a good job, Markie.”

Mark’s tongue swiped his bottom lip, and he wouldn’t meet his eye, but his face was all rosy. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

In the end, they successfully completed the dance challenge, and Donghyuck made sure to match exiting the company building at the same time as Mark.

It was beginning to go from cold to freezing, and Mark was pulling his puffer jacket over the hoodie he had already tossed on. Donghyuck was already comfortably in his.

“You heading back to the guys?” he asked passively.

Mark looked surprised that he had spoken, and a panicked hand darted to scratch the back of his neck. “Huh? Oh, yeah, maybe. Renjun said he had something to tell me.”

Curious, he stepped closer. “Renjun? Something to tell you? And he won’t text it?” It seemed almost odd of Renjun - who was always rather sweetly mean to Mark. A little harsh, a little confusing, dragged out the teasing on poor, dumb Mark. It was always so interesting to see the dynamic of their conversations, especially with how quickly Mark would drop everything to help his friend out.

There was a huff that almost felt like the start of a laugh, and Mark gave him an almost fond look. Seemed he had forgotten his odd distance for this moment, and Donghyuck savoured it. The way the icy air had given Mark that perfect, ethereal look. The one that kept him all rosy looking, the look that always reminded Donghyuck of when he teased the other too much.

“Tell me about it,” Mark whispered back, and he padded to turn around and faced Donghyuck properly, and god had he missed him. “I insisted, I was like, dude! Just text me, y’know?” Mark leaned forward for further emphasis, eyebrows lifted so high they disappeared behind his hair.

Donghyuck quirked a smile, eyes raking over the almost-eager look on the other’s face. He had to commit every detail to memory before his sweet Mark soured and bittered again. But he was so pretty, and he had missed this, had missed Mark seeking out his response, his validation, his approval.

“I doubt Renjun listened to you?”

Mark shook his head immediately, and there was the shadow of mirth around his lips. “No, ‘course not,” Mark said. The sun set earlier now, and they were thrown beneath a lavender dusk. Like this fleeting light would last mere moments before they were tossed into familiar darkness once again. “He’s set on telling me in person.”

Donghyuck moved to find his phone, eyeing the message that his driver was about to arrive. He lifted his phone so the other could see the screen. “Let’s not leave him waiting then,” he said easily, and with the smoothness he needed to keep this one good moment going, the car slid into the space by them.

“Yo, what?” but Mark was following him to the car regardless.

“You think I’m going to miss whatever dire information it is that Renjun has to share?”

Donghyuck wished he had missed it.

Jisung had offered coffee to him the moment he had crossed the threshold, a curious grimace to his face. Donghyuck had waved him off, too busy being swept up in a hug by the pleasantly surprised Renjun.

“I didn’t know you were coming!” came his sweet voice, and Donghyuck laughed as a response.

“This just got more exciting,” came Jisung’s awkward drawl. Regardless, they all shuffled to the dining table. There was a bowl of green grapes, and Mark was immediately reaching forward and taking a greedy handful.

Renjun was next to Mark. The feet of the chair scraped loudly against the hardwood as he shuffled closer. His phone was propped up and angled to Mark, who had a barely intrigued look upon his face.

“She’s nice,” Renjun said, and feeling a strange buzz in his chest was what made Donghyuck lean over to see what was on the phone. Jisung took another long sip of his drink. “Your age.”

Mark blinked slowly. “That’s… nice?” he said slowly.

Donghyuck finally caught the photo. A woman’s photo had been pulled up. A sharp jaw, a few beauty marks dotted from her lip to her cheek, and wavy dark hair. His jaw clenched. She had that cool vibe, baggy pants and a tight black top. Silver jewellery and glossy lips.

She looked comfortably beautiful.

 And despite never having announced his pursuit, Donghyuck was suddenly overcome with the urge to shake his dear friend. Renjun, ever in his own bubble, swiped to another photo (one that continued to carry over that same easily beautiful cadence).

“What do you think?” Renjun asked, words a little sharper and gaze curious.

Mark looked more confused than before. “Oh, uh, she seems nice?”

“Nice?”

“Is she, like, your friend or something? Um, she’s very pretty.”

“You think she’s pretty?” Renjun’s small smile stretched, and he suddenly shifted back in his seat. Tapping away at his phone, Donghyuck despaired of the fact that he couldn’t see it.

He was really regretting figuring out what Renjun had been so insistent on pestering Mark about, but also he absolutely wasn’t because there was no way that Donghyuck was going to let whatever was unfolding continue. Mark was chewing one of the grapes now – a sweet, clueless look on his face.

“Mh’yeah, ‘guess so?”

“Right… Mark, when is your free day next week?”

Mark swallowed slowly and scratched his head. “Uh, I have Thursday evening off, I think, I wanted to see a movie with Jeno…”

Please, Mark, go see that movie with Jeno.

Renjun hummed, already waving him off. “Jeno can wait. I want you to meet her, her name’s Yuna, you can do that, right?”

It looked like it had finally dawned on Mark that he was being talked into a blind date. Jisung got up abruptly and shoved his mug underneath his coffee machine, pressing rather hard at the buttons.

Time became a frozen lake, one that Donghyuck skated over with the trembling worry that the ice would crack away and steal him to a promising demise. But he just had to stay in that frozen moment. Where his gaze became stapled to Mark. His terrified Mark. Who was all sharp claws and bared fangs when it came to being entirely open. He looked suddenly like a wet cat, staring hopelessly between Renjun and his phone. But he saw it, that minuscule consideration in which Mark slotted right into that perfect role. The adrenaline he might just get if he were with this girl – he’d finally be that perfect man that he wanted to be.

Besides, Mark didn’t have an excuse, not for himself and not for Renjun.

The lake cracked, and time flowed suddenly fast and hard. Like rapids that stole Donghyuck to this unstoppable moment. But his tongue was pressed between his gritted teeth and set jaw, halting him from telling Renjun to tell this girl to get a dating app or talk to guys herself.

“She’s… I’m not sure,” Mark said slowly, and Donghyuck felt a chill when the other finally looked at him. A guilty, shameful shadow to his face. Donghyuck’s nails dug hard into the table. He wondered if he might just scratch its glossy finish.

“Oh, please, do this for me,” Renjun insisted, always flustered when he had to beg for his way. “Remember how many times I got you tickets to those concerts. You owe me. Just see her once.”

After an awkward dinner at Renjun and Jisung’s dorm, Donghyuck bitterly stalked his way from the building door to the light of a lone streetlamp. Mark was struggling to zip up his puffer jacket, but staggered after him.

“Hyuck! Hyuck, wait up,” came his voice, all jittery and nervous.

Donghyuck’s driver was already there, waiting, and Donghyuck stalked over. He pulled open the door hard and gestured for the other to get in.

“Donghyuck,” he said, pleading.

Donghyuck's tongue raked over his teeth. An indigestible weight heavy in his chest. A terrified panic that soaked his skin in a shiver of fear that he fought not to show to the other. The bite of cold air showed in the puff of white that came out of Mark’s worried exhale. “Get in,” Donghyuck said bluntly, gesturing a second time.

There was a long moment where Mark looked a moment from saying something, but slowly he climbed in. Stiffly making his way to the far side, Donghyuck followed suit.

Donghyuck gave Mark’s address to the driver. Hating the way the daring thought to drag Mark back to his apartment shoved into his mind – the urge to finish a conversation that never quite started.

Mark looked practically a moment away from chewing his nails. He had a hand pressed to his chest and took quick, sudden breaths. Donghyuck felt a migraine coming on. When the driver had pulled over outside Mark’s building, the man made no move to get out, just took a pathetic, shaky breath and stared at Donghyuck like he expected him to help him.

Because Donghyuck always took care of Mark, had always done that, even when right now he probably should tell him to go figure his own shit out.

He gave a noncommittal hum to Mark’s sad look. Even as his heartstrings felt torn more so than tugged. Like Mark was ravenous to hurt him with his innocent looks and naïve tricks.

In the end, Mark murmured a particularly grim thank you to the driver and climbed out.

Donghyuck watched him walk away. His arms wrapped around his body like he was hugging himself, shivering in the cold. The driver stalled. Donghyuck sighed and got out of the car.

Mark was halfway through pressing the code to open the building doors when Donghyuck put his chin to his shoulder. He flinched and turned around immediately. And finally, catching Donghyuck off guard, wrapped his arms around him.

“Hyuck!” he sniffed pitifully.

“Jesus, Mark, finish opening the door,” Donghyuck grumbled, but wrapped his arms around the other, nonetheless. “If I catch a cold and get in trouble, then it’ll be all your fault.”

“Yeah, oh—oh, yeah,” Mark mumbled.

Mark’s apartment always had that warm look to it. Had that dash of earthy tone that always seemed to be missing from dorms and apartments. Donghyuck kicked off his shoes and peeled off his coat.

Mark gave him another helpless look.

“So,” Donghyuck said dryly, “Are you excited for your date?”

 There was a drop of shoulders and a loud sigh. “Hyuck…”

“Well? Are you happy or not? It’s not like you’re gay.” And Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he regretted saying it, but it hadn’t felt good, not when Mark looked like he had been slapped.

“I’m—I’m not. Just… that was a mistake,” he said, voice sweetly whiny. Donghyuck frowned harder. He really should have just gone home, but still, something about this close-to-crying Mark wouldn’t let him walk away.

“A mistake? Right, and the date isn’t?”

Mark looked like he might just run off and hide, not that there was any place he could go that Donghyuck wouldn’t find. But in the end, he took a few steps back, then turned on his heels and disappeared out of the entryway and deeper into the apartment.

Donghyuck sighed but followed anyway. Mark had begun to pace through the kitchen, circled the dining space, then walked into the living area and nervously ran his fingers along his bookshelf before he circled the couch too. Donghyuck was lazily walking behind him.

“There’s nothing wrong with me going on a date,” Mark said hurriedly, walking straight back into the kitchen again.

Donghyuck scoffed, “Oh, I’m sure.”

“Renjun says she’s nice.” Mark reached over and messily rearranged a decorative fruit bowl.

Donghyuck lagged behind. “I bet she is,” he said.

Mark shifted the weight on his feet, hesitating. “I owe Renjun.” The excuses were getting pitiful.

“Okay, Mark.”

There was a slow moment where he saw the other draw in on himself, hunched slightly like he was hurt. It was something he had rarely seen in the other. It felt so few and far between of moments where Mark really fell apart.

And slowly, Donghyuck approached, swallowing every easy quip and harsh remark (regardless of how entitled to them he felt). He tapped a tender line across Mark’s shoulder blades, but the other wouldn’t turn and look at him.

“And I’m not—” there was a shaky startle of breath. “I’m not like that, not like what you saw.”

He wanted to tell him that wasn’t true, to tell Mark that he knew exactly who he was, knew what he had seen. And he adored him through it all. But it was perhaps too much for the other. What had acceptance ever done but scare Mark more?

“And what did I see?” Donghyuck asked quietly.

It was like Mark couldn’t hear him. “You’re my best friend.” Donghyuck’s hand froze in place. “We aren’t…” but Mark couldn’t say it

“Mark, we haven’t done anything wrong.” Donghyuck slowly slid his hand from his back to his shoulder and squeezed. He watched as the other inhaled hard. “And I know what I saw, I know what we are, and I don’t think any less of you.”

It was a sentence that had been waiting on the end of Donghyuck’s tongue for a very long time. It had bided for the moment where Mark would finally have to face himself, confront his own actions after he realised just how real everything was. He and Donghyuck. Mark and him. The irresistible pull between them that felt like golden string to one and barbed wire to the other.

“Go on that date. It’ll only remind you what you already know.” Donghyuck squeezed him again. “But you can find me after, and I’ll take care of you.”

The days to the date felt like a ticking time bomb.

The schedules were packed. Dance practice, vocal lessons, rehearsals, and concept meetings. And he and Mark were almost always in the same room. Mark was no longer outright avoiding his gaze anymore but seemed to struggle, nonetheless. Had this confused and almost expectant look on his face every time their eyes met.

When they had dinner with Chenle, who chucked his usual share of teasing at them, Mark didn’t recoil as hard as he had. Like he had seemingly swallowed the acceptance that he can’t outright deny anything anymore, still, he hovered in this limbo.

He wondered if Mark was simply steeling his resolve or was finally considering that there was a whole world out there that he didn’t have to be so terrified of.

Chenle had his chin placed in his hand, asking nosy questions about the blind date. Donghyuck had quickly tuned him out, excusing himself to go to Chenle’s kitchen and get another glass of water. Silently grabbing one for Mark, too.

Mark kept glancing at him. Maybe waiting for the jealousy that still stung in his stomach like a thousand minuscule bug bites, or the irritation that had slowed into an almost forgotten buzz. He sat back down, fighting the urge to grimace as Chenle asked again to see a photo of the girl. Donghyuck passed the glass to Mark, their fingers just brushing, and Mark’s lips parted in surprise before they warmed into a soft smile.

“I don’t have a photo,” Mark had said, but Chenle whined like that would cause a photo to magically appear. “No, like really, I don’t.”

Donghyuck’s hand found his thigh under the table and squeezed softly. Mark stilled, the muscle of his leg tensing.

Chenle instead muttered to himself, picking up his phone. “I’ll text Renjun, I want to see her—you don’t even have her socials?”

“What—no!”

Donghyuck leaned in, his other hand pretending to fix Mark’s hair as he leaned in. “Good boy, Markie,” he whispered, voice so low that only Mark would hear him.

The fingertips he had tenderly dug into the fabric of the other’s pants felt the twitch of movement. Of the muscle spasming, before, slow like the certain drip that came from an unchecked faucet, Mark gentled. He softened under Donghyuck’s touch even if he had no clue he had, which seemed to be the case by Mark’s red ears but twitching brow.

On the fated day, Donghyuck had wondered if he should simply grab Mark by the collar of his shirt and drag him back to his own apartment. By the grimace Mark kept making every time he thought no one was looking, he would probably appreciate it. They had a photoshoot. So, Mark was there, with gel in his hair and contour that made his cheekbones go from charming to maddeningly alluring. And he was going to walk out of this shoot and straight into a date where some woman was going to fawn over him more.

She was an actress, apparently, that was what he had come to learn through the gossip the other members had sparsely shared. An acquaintance turned somewhat-friend of Renjun, and someone who had generously put a good word in for him to an iconic director. So of course, when she said she wanted to meet Mark, Renjun was too happy to oblige.

He stole a look at the window and wished to see brooding clouds, but there had been nothing but clear winter skies.

His sweet Mark was staring down hard at the time on his phone, perhaps willing it to go slower or for a text to show up saying it had been cancelled. Suggesting to him to reject this whole idea before it kicked up was a waste of time. Mark was still suffering the hangover of a drunken belief that he was supposed to be someone else. Perfect masculine idol, the kind that everyone would eventually learn had a pretty lady on his arm. Not the real Mark. The softer, sillier, sweet thing that Donghyuck knew.

Not the Mark that feathered and tossed like it was too much when their skin brushed. Or the haughty way he stilled and stared at Donghyuck at late-night dinners when he was a drink or so in, and looked like he was aching to reach out and find his hand.

There was a Mark for the public, and there was a Mark that was just his, but it seemed his hadn’t blossomed entirely yet. Had not come to full fruition. Had stagnated and strayed out of fear.

Mark put down his things on the table he had claimed for their designated lunch break; he was sharing with Jeno, who was asleep in his own folded arms.

“Bathroom!” he called feverently, touching his own Adam’s apple that bobbed nervously in his throat. And Donghyuck watched the other exit the room quickly.

Like how the waves came back so they could wash across the sand they loved, and like how the sun and moon chased each other, Donghyuck stood up fast. Renjun and Chenle shot him raised brows. Jaemin shook his head fondly, and Jisung stared at the ceiling.

He found Mark pacing a corridor, totally enraptured in a world inside his mind. A world he wanted to be a part of.

Donghyuck took tentative, timed steps and snuck up on the other. He wrapped his arms around him, pressing his chest to Mark’s back. There was a gasp of fright, and a shove of hands that snapped to tear off Donghyuck’s touch.

“Jesus, Mark,” Donghyuck said sagely, feeling the ghost of a smirk play on his lips. He dropped his head into the crook of Mark’s neck and shoulder and sighed against the satiny fabric. A rather pretty shirt that was only loaned for this shoot. But it suited him well. It hung off him loose and easy; it gave that charming and effortless look that Mark loved. Perhaps they should buy it afterwards. “It’s just me.”

Mark’s mean hands faltered, and instead of prying, they slacked and just stayed in place – still touching Donghyuck’s hands. “Donghyuck?”

“Mhm. Me.”

“Oh.”

He snickered, imagining the curious expression the other might have.

“I’m sorry about… recently.”

That was not entirely what he expected; his arms slid off the other, and Mark reluctantly stepped out of his space and turned to face him. There was a shadow on his face.

Donghyuck shifted his weight from one foot to the other and gave a sharp sigh, but gestured for the other to elaborate.

Mark licked his lips nervously – not helping Donghyuck in the slightest. “I’m sorry about that night at yours… I don’t know what that was.”

Donghyuck’s eyelid twitched. “Right, okay,” he said slowly.

“And I’m sorry about the other day, I can’t say what that was either…”

Donghyuck felt the arrogant urge to tell him that they were panic attacks, which were normal, and that he was going to keep having them if he stayed this deep in denial. Instead, Donghyuck gave him a relieving wave off instead.

“It’s fine, Mark. Really.” Donghyuck stepped forward, and saw the confused brightness in the other’s eyes. The look that he might just get out of the waist-deep water he’d been wading. That Donghyuck was going to let him off the hook. Which might explain the almost disappointed twitch of the ever-indecisive Mark’s lips.

Still, when Donghyuck hugged him a second time, this time Mark fell into it softly. Their chests hit quietly. It wasn’t at all resistant, even if Mark had pulled a face and his fingers had trembled for a breath of a moment.

“Should I get wine?” Donghyuck whispered in the tight hold, head angled so his words curled against the other’s ear. He loved how Mark shivered.

There was a confused grunt. “What for?”

 “For when you come to mine tonight after your date.” Mark froze. “And you want to be reminded how good it feels to have someone you actually want.”

“I—what—Donghyuck!” Mark stepped back, and Donghyuck’s skin felt cold now that he wasn’t wrapped around the other.

He shrugged, a playful grin on his face. “You know I’m right.”

“You so, are like, so wrong.”

Donghyuck walked back to the shoot, a strangely excited jolt bouncing around his stomach.

He had barely seen Mark after the shoot, had just seen him dart off into a black car. But his phone had vibrated.

you are so full of yourself

lik e get a grip

Is this your way of saying you're excited to see me later ? ; )

fuckoff

You’re so cute Markie<3

omfg

you never listen to me

ur just jealous.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes.

I’ll see you tonight

Pretty baby

And then the waiting started.

Donghyuck went home. Cleaned up – which meant he had to stop and grimace at the laundry he had let marinate on his table. Washed up. He got to stare at himself in the mirror in satisfaction. His fingers brushing through freshly blow-dried hair, and a cotton shirt suiting him, lazy and loose.

But the waiting grew boring, and the seed of jealousy had taken its root regardless of whether he wished to address it or not. He had to dare himself not to text Mark again.

But he couldn’t help messaging Jisung.

Where are they?

Mark and the girl, I mean.

omfg you’re so lame.

Just tell me

renjun said they went to a private dinner.

The urge to ask more came with the hit of a rushing train. Like he could feel the metal, smell the smoke, and taste the oil. But Donghyuck just tried not to imagine something horribly romantic. He hoped it was a shitty place and that there had better not be any candlelit tables or slow, groovy jazz. He shot a narrow look at the red wine he had bought and hoped Mark wasn’t betraying him for lavender-gold champagne instead.

His phone buzzed.

shes prtty

pretty

typo.,

Mark?

hyhuck

What are you doing?

at my date. asshole

…

Then shouldn’t you be talking to her instead of me?

fuck u

He watched as the three little dots showed up and stayed for a while.

i left

Why? You okay

There was no reply.

Where are you

Baby?

Markie?

Perhaps Mark couldn’t find the words, but he attached a photo. The lighting adjustment was poor and a little blurry, but Donghyuck supposed now wasn’t the time for a critique of camera angles. But he could make out the cherry wood barstools with the beige faux-leather upholstery and the tacky tile pattern. It was one of the private bars he and the members had frequented for secret celebrations. A birthday here and there, an album release, good news, bad news. He frowned.

Stay there.

He fumbled for his car keys and tried to shove his feet into his shoes.

He had to pay a ridiculous amount for parking in one of the buildings. He adjusted the mask on his face. It irritated his freshly cleansed skin in the same way that the hoodie tousled his previously neat hair. But still, Donghyuck walked with his head ducked and his hands in his pockets until he found the bar. Flashing his ID at a rather grouchy member of security, and mumbling that this would be quick to the bouncer, who frowned at his clothes.

But he found Mark.

He looked at least a touch better than he had sounded. He was still there, hunched at the bar, alone. But he had a half-drunk glass of water in his hands. It looked like he’d either gotten smart and sobered up or got cut off.

“Hey, you,” Donghyuck said softly, slowly pulling the mask down as he stood by Mark’s seat.

“Oh—hey,” Mark said, eyes studying Donghyuck for a reaction before they flickered away. “Sorry for worrying you. It’s fine.”

His eyes looked red-rimmed.

Donghyuck sighed and took a seat. “It doesn’t look fine,” he returned. “Spit it out.”

Mark swallowed. He reached up and scratched at his forehead and had a suddenly contemplative look take over his expression, like he was reliving it. And Donghyuck, ever curious, leaned in. Because knowing Mark inside out was his art, his passion.

“She was pretty, like really pretty.”

Okay. Wow. “I seem to keep hearing,” Donghyuck said lightly but not without the obvious drag of annoyance. He thought back to Mark’s message and how it felt like such a slap.

“Yeah, and I thought wow, I’d be so lucky to date her. I mean, she’s beautiful, nice, attentive, and she seems so passionate about music. Like I can’t find a fault.”

“So you went and got tipsy because you found the one? Wow, I’m so happy for you.” Donghyuck was probably being hit with his kryptonite right now. The one thing that really got under his skin and made him forget himself.

“It’s not that… It’s just that… how can I be with the perfect girl and I don’t want her at all?”

Donghyuck stilled, and it felt like that was all he needed to remember that no one knew Mark better than him. He instinctively reached to touch the other’s shoulders, finally seeing how his Mark’s expression had become distant and sad.

“There’s something wrong with me, Hyuck,” he whispered, heartbroken.

His mouth had dried out, and his tongue hesitated to find words for a too long moment. But the room breathed with the light scent of whisky and wines that clung to the shiny wooden bar no matter how many times it had been wiped down. And the music was a humming roar of foreign songs.

Donghyuck’s hand on his shoulder tightened warmly. “You know there isn’t,” he assured, “Don’t start getting all sad on me, Markie. Not liking the perfect girl doesn’t stop you from being your annoyingly perfect self.” It sounded like Donghyuck; it was certainly his voice. But it felt more like the friend he always was, and not the waiting lover who wanted nothing more than to wrap the other up in a tight hug and never let a thought like this enter his periphery.

Mark sniffed hard but stood up, and Donghyuck followed suit.

“Did you end up getting that wine?”

That’s right, he did, and it was waiting at Donghyuck’s home, where he expected the both of them to have ended up. He’d almost forgotten.

“Stop looking like a kicked puppy, I can’t say I told you so,” Donghyuck teased, but slid his hand down to the small of Mark’s back. He guided the other to the exit of the bar and only let his hand drop when they found themselves on the street as they walked to the parked car.

His home was certainly a good amount warmer than the too-chilly outside. Mark was still rubbing at his elbows furiously when they got into the entryway, Donghyuck smiling when their hoodies came off, and he could see Mark’s red ears.

Mark, sweetly sobered and with a heavy expression, beelined straight for the couch. He tucked himself into the far edge, dragging his knees to his chest and reaching around for a cushion to grab. Donghyuck trailed behind lazily with his fingers clutching the stems of two wine glasses, and his other hand with the nearly forgotten (celebratory) wine.

It was barely tasted, barely considered. Mark seemed to be so deeply lost in thought, even when Donghyuck threw on one of those superhero movies that usually had him chatting nonstop.

Mark’s lips pressed to the glass’s edge, and his brows were furrowed. Donghyuck took a tasteful swig before he set his own down for a final time. Wine, as it tended to do, had given the much-needed warmth to his skin. It carded through his chest and dinged every part of him that remembered how easy it was to feel like a gooey, cheesy mess around Mark.

His Mark, finally.

His Mark, who took a slow sip before letting Donghyuck take his glass too, set it on the coffee table. It was just them and some indescribable heaviness.

Donghyuck thought vaguely of the date. Of Mark doing everything he was supposed to do. He probably pulled out her chair, poured their drinks, and took care of the bill. He probably escorted her to her car and made sure his hands never lingered too long. The moon was probably already in the sky when Mark decided to go to the bar instead of home. The stars’ light was rippling in the dark sky when Mark had texted him.

But Mark had texted him, and he was here now.

No matter how pessimistic he had gotten, or how defensive and stubborn, he was here. Mark’s makeup from the photoshoot had held together pretty well. He still had that perfect look to his skin. There was just a thin dark smudge beneath his eyes where his mascara had gotten messed up.

“Are you going to see her again?” he asked, glancing from the television to Mark.

There was a hesitant pause before he shook his head. “No, no… I don’t think so.”

“Even if she asks Renjun?”

Mark frowned. “I don’t need to see her. I don’t… really want to.”

Something about hearing Mark turn someone down did too much to his ego. Donghyuck unfolded himself on the couch, sinking into the cushions in satisfaction. His arm stretched the distance and lazily plucked up Mark’s abandoned hand and squeezed it warmly. Mark stared at their connected hands.

“Good boy,” Donghyuck smiled.

The hand he held twitched. It felt like hot fire. He could see it surge and spread wildly – in the slight anxious widening of the other’s eyes, of the way pink dusted his skin, and how his lips parted in such a sickly, enticing way.

“Oh my god, shut up,” his Markie hissed, his hand still spasming in small bursts of twitches in Donghyuck’s touch. But Mark never actually pulled it away.

“Hm?” Donghyuck felt too comfortable. Felt like he was reading the final pages of a book he had put off for far too long, and all the little pieces were coming back to him rather perfectly. “What? Markie doesn’t like to be called good boy?” Mark stared back, dumb. His perfectly dumb baby.

“No, no—I…” but Mark couldn’t find the words, or he could not force himself to shove another lie out his throat. But his voice was rising, and his flushed face twisted in slight annoyance. Donghyuck’s stomach did an excited flip, only more eager to keep pushing buttons. “You always do this,” he snapped, and suddenly Mark wasn’t tucked into the couch’s far side. He angrily shuffled over, with some difficulty as Donghyuck clutched his hand. Mark’s free hand jabbed an accusatory finger straight against his chest. “You keep messing with me. It’s not fair.”

Donghyuck licked his lips. “What’s not fair, baby?” he asked sweetly.

“Hyuck,” he warned, and he went to poke that mean finger at him again. Except he overestimated, and in the ridiculous half-sat up way he had chosen after shuffling over, he tumbled forward. Instantly, Donghyuck reached to catch him. Their noses brushed, and Mark’s knee was digging into his thigh.

Donghyuck snorted, all mean and amused and fond. He pulled Mark onto his lap properly, letting go of his hand so he could grab at his hips and shoot the other a radiant smile.

Mark panted heavily, like he knew exactly what he wanted, like a dog who could see the unattended plate of food. One of his hands snapped to Donghyuck’s shoulder, and it clawed into the fabric of his shirt. Donghyuck sighed happily. Mark was staring at his face. Worse than that. Mark was staring hard at his lips whilst breathing heavily like a bloodthirsty animal.

His sweet boy, who thought saying what he wanted was something that tasted like needles scraping the throat.

“Tell me again,” Donghyuck said slowly, loving the confused way the other’s expression twisted. “Tell me how much you hate this.”

Mark shivered, his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth snapping shut for a mere beat of a moment. The nails in Donghyuck’s shoulder trembled lightly. “You’re trying to confuse me—”
“Confuse you, how?” he asked as his hands slid up, pressing into his waist.

“You interrupted,” came a sulky mumble. “You call me names, and you touch me, and kiss me.”

Donghyuck felt electric. His toothy grin only stretched wider. “And you don’t touch me?” The way Mark shifted was just a breath of enticement. The way he sucked in a quick breath was too amusing. “You don’t… kiss me?”

The idea that Mark wanted to suddenly pin it on him was laughable. Not when Donghyuck had been imagining every night how it felt when Mark had shoved up against him and kissed him back. He knew the taste of Mark’s curious mouth – knew it because Mark had swiped his tongue against his own eagerly.

“That’s such a shame,” he said rather sagely. Donghyuck made a show of shifting in his spot, Mark’s breath hitching as he did so. “I was going to… Ah, forget it. It doesn’t matter now.”

The other hesitated; the movie playing was just a dull buzz to their ears. “What is it? Tell me.”

“Oh, just that, I was going to say,” he dragged the sentence out as long as he could, too in love with the millions of ways Mark’s eyebrows pulled in response. “That if you wanted to kiss and touch, you’re very welcome to do so.”

Mark’s eyes went wide, and he tossed a sudden look over his shoulder like someone was about to catch them. It was as if he was still biding time in his mind, waiting for the moment someone would come and call him out for having such impure wants.

But Mark didn’t get off him, or snap at him not to say that.
“Oh, and Mark?”

That handsome face slowly turned to look back at him. “Yeah?” he whispered back.

He licked his lips. Hungry. Endeared. “You’re so good, Mark. My pretty boy.”

“Oh my god.” It was like a switch that turned Mark’s insides into jelly, as he hunched forward again. Their faces were back in that wildly close arrangement. Mark’s eyes squeezed shut, and a tenetative, near-unheard whine tumbled out of his lips.

“I’ll take care of you,” Donghyuck continued, fingertips and palms still hugging Mark’s waist, “I’ll remind you how good you are. All the time. Would you like that?”

Mark sniffed hard and nodded, and there was a long moment where neither of them moved. Until, very gingerly, Mark adjust himself, and he was so flush in the face as he placed a fleeting kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek.

It was better than all the stupid little cheek kisses he had gotten over the years. It was more intoxicating than when he tasted Mark for the first time in the club bathroom. This was Mark kissing him because he wanted to, because he had accepted a risk and found Donghyuck was worth the fear he felt. Donghyuck made his own happy sound, and Mark tried hard to keep a neutral expression, even if his skin was all flushed and he could feel his pulse.

Mark kissed him on the mouth the next time, and Donghyuck fought hard not to jolt with excitement. But soon, like it had been effortless and practised, did they melt into something softer, longer. With Mark kissing his mouth and cradling his face, like he had missed him. Donghyuck kissed back like he loved him. Which he did, he supposed.

It was probably the most slow make out Donghyuck had ever had, but its tenderness was undoing. Feeling smiles pushed against each other, hands finding skin to caress. It was truer than anything he could have ever described.

Until, of course, Mark’s teeth sank into his lip and tugged.

Needy.

Donghyuck saw his eyes. Glossy, half-lidded, dazed. Mark was like this before. Unsure of how to handle all of the intoxication he seemed to get with Donghyuck, and the moment he had one taste; it transformed into an avalanche of wanting everything he could get. Honey always sweetened when it was fed by a loving hand, and Mark had tasted it now.

Mark pushed in closer, clueless. A soft groan slipped out when Donghyuck bent to his will, leaning into the lustful way their kiss had evolved. He took over, he bit at the other’s lip, kissed from the hitch of his jaw to his mouth, and roamed his hands. Mark’s erection was pressed between them, and there was a jittery sound of want that was muffled between their mouths.

He pulled away, loving the way Mark’s face twitched like he had been stolen from.

He searched the eyes. For fear or for shame or for regret. There was shyness, perhaps a trembling confusion that came with the newness of it all, but there was mostly hope. A lovesick kind of hope. A horny, mushy kind that Donghyuck would have teased him about tremendously if it didn’t also have his dick chubbing up. Mark wanted him, and he’d been waiting for that his whole life.

There was a shared look, a timid nod.

Donghyuck kissed him and readjusted Mark again, loving how it felt to grab at his waist and hips. It felt like Mark was completely his. It felt like he could see Mark giving up the too-heavy protective armour he had been wearing.

Their clothed erections lined up, pressing against eachother heavy and aching. Like a bloom of heat. He rocked Mark slightly, loving the pressure of the touch.

There was a loud sigh. Mark's nails scraped down in slight surprise before he bucked forward slightly.

“Hyuck?” His trembling, sweet voice was like a drug. It made the inside of his ears hum like it was music.

Donghyuck cocked his head to the side, adorning kisses all over the underside of his jaw, pressing a few low across the skin of his neck. Loving how Mark stifled gasps.

The speed at which they rocked increased. It was dizzying, and Mark’s hands had to literally drag Donghyuck back in for another messy kiss. His sweet boy was grinding against him, dirty and needy. There was a wet spot on the front of his pants, and Donghyuck would guess his probably looked similar. But it changed nothing. He laughed a mean sound as he licked across the line of Mark’s mouth, finding the spill of saliva and teasing his teeth against the swollen lips.

“Hyuck, it feels—”

“Good. It feels good, you can tell me,” he crooned, wanting to hear the other confess, “Tell me how good you feel.”

Mark whined against him, still rutting against him with an only increasing urgency. “Good, of course it feels—fuck!” And Mark was throwing himself forward. Arms wrapped around Donghyuck, a sweaty forehead dropped onto his should. “Oh my fucking god.”

Mark was a dream. Donghyuck wanted to stay in this moment forever.

They kept at it until, Mark first and Donghyuck following, they stuttered and collapsed against each other. Their pants a gross, sticky mess. Mark’s long, winding whine still echoing against his ear, and all Donghyuck could manage to do was slide his mouth against his neck, his nose sliding against the skin. He mouthed softly, weakly, at the flesh. It tasted like sweat, like faded perfume, like Mark.

Mark didn’t panic this time, but he still had the look of a newborn bird. And with a fond laugh, Donghyuck convinced him to take a shower.

“You can stay here, if you want,” Donghyuck said. He said it easily, with his hands in the pockets of his ruined pants. He’d shower after.

Mark chewed his lip. He was so easy to read. There was a brief glance down the hallway. Donghyuck’s room. The spare room. He was probably wondering with a sick stomach what Donghyuck meant. To share one bed or take the spare.

“I couldn’t impose,” came Mark’s very well-practised politeness. He had Donghyuck’s clothes on, and a beautifully bare face. Gone was the day’s makeup and the clothes that smelled like a memory.

“It’s not imposing,” Donghyuck said with a slight shrug, “It’s helpful. You’d be keeping my bed warm.”

And there it was. The way Mark’s face went all red and his eyebrows shot up so high and he spluttered. “I should head back.”

“You can, if you’d feel more comfortable,” Donghyuck agreed, fighting not to let his expression sour with disappointment. He wondered how late it was. They had an early start in the morning. “But I’d miss you.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark practically squeaked. Good to know flirting when no one was around was a timeless trick to have him looking like a fool. A hand smacked his shoulder without any real bite.
“I’ll drive you back.”

“What—no! That defeats me, trying not to impose,” he whined.

“Tough luck. It’s either impose by having me drive or…” Donghyuck wanted to eat Mark up, the way he could see the hope shimmering in dark, blown out eyes. “Or, impose and come sleep next to me.”

“You’re insufferable.”

It felt like after a too long time. Mark was remembering to be himself again around him. Not avoidant. Not faking somebody else.

“Fuck it. I’m tired.” Mark had put on his best neutral look, but it fell apart the moment Donghyuck cackled and grinned.

“Good. That’s my good boy—“

“Shuddup!”

Donghyuck entered the dark room. There was a towel hanging low on his hips and droplets of shower water still on the back of his neck. The room was barely lit, but he could make out Mark, who, surprisingly, was not asleep, as he shuffled and sat up. The blanket pooled around his hips. He was still in Donghyuck’s t-shirt, but the pants he had borrowed seemed to be forgotten on the ground as they sat there in a lazy pile. He snorted as he walked over. He could feel Mark’s eyes on him.

“I thought you would have been asleep by now.”

Mark made a quiet sound. “I thought I’d wait. Thought maybe you’d change your mind.”

He took this moment in the dark to slowly unfurl the towel. He knew Mark was probably squinting furiously in the dark to see him as he changed into his sleep clothes.

Donghyuck climbed into the bed and slowly slid a hand to Mark. He found the end of his shirt, hand studied the fabric between his thumb and his forefinger. Mark was staring at him. He could see those wide, searching eyes.

“I wouldn’t,” he said, “Wouldn’t change my mind. Have you?”

He considered how Mark had left before. How Mark had always pulled away. How he knew that when they returned to the company building tomorrow, there would still be those traces of the stubborn Mark he knew so well? That Mark was going to probably still try to dominate the situation, even as right now, he sat in his shirt and was semi-swaddled in his blanket. And started at him with that sweet, shy look that unhooked Donghyuck from his want to tease cruelly. Because it just made his stomach sting with affection.

But… did Mark want to leave now? Did he want to run to an Uber and pretend he hadn’t just finished in his pants?

A nervous flutter was in his chest. An anxious sensation that only Mark could ever drag out of him.

Mark shook his head. “No. I won’t go.”

Relief was flooding and imminent. He slid his touch from the shirt to underneath it. He found the sharp lines of muscle, the sketch of his hip. He ran his nails along it. Mark shivered.

“Good. I don’t want you to,” Donghyuck whispered.

“I thought… we were going to do more, before, on the couch,” Mark said slowly, and Donghyuck froze.

It was unfair just how crazy Mark seemed to make him feel.

“I’m not going to overwhelm you. I’ll take it slow,” he said. Promised.

“It wouldn’t have—” but that was a lie. Donghyuck gave him a look even if the darkness hid it. “I could handle it.”

“Do you know how I want you? Do you know what I want to do with you, Markie? Holding back is hard enough, and you’re such a baby.”

Mark made a quiet sound. Donghyuck curiously pressed his nails into the skin of Mark’s abs and felt them tense. He thought of Mark’s broken ask to top before he had left. His need to be someone he wasn’t even when no one could see them. Donghyuck just wanted it to happen when Mark wouldn’t be filled with adrenaline. When he was sure he could handle it.

Or maybe Donghyuck was also a little surprised at how nervous he was.

“I could do it!” he said, biting back.

Donghyuck grinned and kissed his cheekbone. It was like Mark thought he was being petty, luring him by telling him he couldn’t handle it. But this was Mark. Who had spent his evening being sorry for himself and nursing alcohol he shouldn’t have been having. And now he was sobered and strangely needy.

“I’m sure. Have you done it before?” Donghyuck teased, his fingers moving to pinch the other’s stomach softly. Mark fidgeted.

“Not like…”

He didn’t let Mark finish. He kissed his ear. There was a small, pretty noise gifted to him in return. “Good. I’ll let you off the hook for whoever you’ve been with. But this?” His other hand snapped to pinch too high up the side of Mark’s thigh. Practically his ass. There was a startled sound. “It’ll be mine. Got it, baby?”

Mark stared. Really stared. Probably because he was getting hit with the largest spoonful of a Donghyuck who wasn’t going to go easy on him, wasn’t going to share him. He must have seen how serious he was. It was his chance to push him away, to say he didn’t like this dynamic. Maybe Mark could insist he wanted to top again.

He nodded. All shaky and beautiful. Donghyuck’s heart felt funny.

“Okay. Yours,” he agreed, albeit a little awkwardly.

He wanted this moment to be sweet. But Donghyuck was getting that tight stomach sensation he tended to get when his mind wandered too far when it was late in the night.

He shakily pulled Mark back into lying down. Hesitantly letting his hands wander before he pulled away. A wordless goodnight. Besides. They had to get up early.

Mark shuffled, trying to get comfortable.

The sheets rustled. Donghyuck had his eyes squeezed shut. His heart in his mouth and his boxers a bit tighter than usual.

He could hear the soft, slick sound of Mark chewing his lip.

“I mean, I’ve done some stuff.” Mark’s soft voice crackled like a low flame.

Low flames still burned.

Donghyuck’s eyes opened. He bit his tongue. A green ooze that tasted like envy in his mouth. “Oh, is that right?” he said, steadying his voice.

Mark fidgeted again, and he could practically hear all the thoughts in his head. Donghyuck wanted to ask who, and how far they went. He was going to break his diet tomorrow if he learned he had been this patient and some loser had gotten a taste of Mark’s ass before him. He needed a cold shoulder.

Mark made an embarrassed hum. “Yes. Just once… or twice.”
Donghyuck had a very angry, jealous boner. “With the same guy?” he asked quietly.

“What—no—”

Donghyuck needed painkillers, but he rolled onto his side. Mark did the same. “Two different guys, right then—”

“No guys, never—not ever. I wouldn’t, I mean… I couldn’t. Like. You know. Um.” The malfunction was beginning.

He gave a playful shove to the other. “Fine, you found a woman who tops,” he concluded, reluctantly. He whistled low. “Wow, Mark, didn’t know you had it in you.”

Mark made a garbled noise before falling back into the pillow and burying his face.

Donghyuck almost wanted to let him stay in that sorry spot. He pouted. Stupid loophole. He guessed it was still heterosexual sex even if Mark was letting a woman go down on him there.

“Hff—Therewasnowoman.”

He poked the back of Mark’s head. “Can’t hear you, quit sulking.”

Mark shoved his face further into the pillow. “No… I meant…”

There was a long pause. A lot of those seemed to happen with Mark. He pulled off the pillow, and Donghyuck stroked his hair, pleased.

“I did it myself… like with my, uh, fingers.”

Donghyuck’s jaw unhitched. “Can you repeat that?”

Mark made an annoyed sound.

“Okay, sorry, sorry,” he amended, but dove forward, suddenly intrigued. He pulled Mark to his chest until they shared the same breath of air between them. He could feel the heat radiating off his face. “You fingered yourself?”

Mark grimaced, embarrassed. “Once.”

“You said twice.”

“Shuddup.”

“Mark.”

“After the fan sign, after I left your place. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Donghyuck stilled. He wished he had the lights on. He wanted to see the other’s face in all its detail, not just the sharp lines in the shadows, and the dim glitter of worried eyes.

“Mark. Mark. Fuck.” Donghyuck was losing his mind. “After you left mine?” He licked his lips, knowing. “Were you thinking about me?”

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“And you were thinking of me.”

Mark didn’t reject it. Just stayed there, in the half-hold Donghyuck had over him.

“When else?” Donghyuck asked, low and unfortunately a little desperate. He nuzzled in, found Mark’s jaw and kissed it.

“Huh—what—”

“You said ‘once or twice,’ when else, Mark?” he murmured against the skin. Then he dipped down as he trailed kisses down his neck. The other squirmed.

“Hyuck,” he whined.

“Tell me, baby.”

“In the shower.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows dragged in confusion, but his cock was aching with the thought. The picture of Mark. Water hitting him like rain. Soap all over his hips, his thighs. One hand on the tiled wall, the other reaching back. Probably trembling. And Mark probably had a furiously stubborn look on his expression. He’d prod and roll the pad of his finger over his rim, all shy, all terrified of the change. Then he’d do it anyway, slide slowly past that first ring of muscle. His face screwed up, unsure how to make it feel good yet. Donghyuck was going insane.

“Yeah? When was this again?” His mind scraped his memories for something that was equal to the tension of the fan sign. He wanted to know what made Mark forget himself because he was so needy.

“In the shower.”

“I know that baby—”

“Then forty minutes ago!” Mark snapped softly, drawing away, terrified. Like he’d done something wrong.

Oh.

Donghyuck’s dick jumped. It was a bad, horny thing. His throat closed up, like it knew not to let him speak. He just breathed against the column of Mark’s neck.

Mark had been in his home, in the bathroom, getting ready, just in case. Donghyuck was definitely going to pray with him next time he asked. He had a God to thank.

“Fuck,” he hissed, before he pressed another heavy, urgent kiss to the skin.

Mark squeaked, his body tensing before he realised and relaxed again. His hands suddenly on Donghyuck’s head, threaded through the hair.

Donghyuck’s hand pulled at the shirt until he had Mark’s collarbone exposed. He dropped down immediately and pressed feathering kisses all across it. Mark bucked slightly, his fistfuls of hair tugged hard, and he made a fragmented groan. Jackpot.

“You’re so good to me,” Donghyuck said quickly. Immediately moving to pull the shirt off Mark. He threw it somewhere else. As he sat up. Mark’s hands slid off his hair, and he sat up. Frantically rolling up Donghyuck’s own sleep shirt. Donghyuck, with a mean smirk, lifted his arms and let Mark finish pulling it off of him.

Donghyuck was in his briefs and sweats, and Mark just in his underwear.

Mark was kissing him. His mouth, his cheek, right by his eye. “I’m sorry that I get scared. Hyuck, you make me crazy.”

Donghyuck loved it when Mark stroked his ego. Mark, who always apologised first after doing something wrong, or at least tried his best to sweep it under the rug.

“Right back at you.”

“I’m not running away. I’m ready.”

Donghyuck’s fingers flexed, and he groaned through gritted teeth. “You’re going to ruin me.”

There was a surprised laugh. And suddenly Mark was taking his hand, guiding it. To his chest.

Instinct took over. He found Mark’s skin like a bee found pollen. His tongue swiped across it. Playful, curious. And Mark’s breath hitched. He kissed his way down. He nipped across his chest, loving the way Mark fell back down on the bed. Dragging Donghyuck with him. His Markie was so dramatic.

He rolled a nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirling around the underside, across the top, and all over again. Mark shuddered and made soft, pitchy sounds.

He kissed his sternum. Whispered how beautiful he was. Mark’s hand shoved out to the bedside table. He fumbled about until he got the lamp to turn on.

Donghyuck lifted his head. He licked the saliva on his lip and smiled at the other. He could see him now. Mark was blanketed in the gentle glow of the light. His parted lips, his softly heaving shoulders, his hair all tousled.

He was art.

Donghyuck was not sure how he was ever meant to do anything ever again when he knew Mark was his.

His fingers dipped into the waistband of Mark’s briefs. There was a shaky breath.

“I’ll stop the moment you want me to,” he promised.

Mark nodded. “I know.” He chewed his lips, which were already swollen and deep with colour. “But I don’t think I’ll want you to stop.”

Perhaps all that wine was still running rampant in his system.

He slowly dragged the briefs off Mark, who gingerly lifted his hips up to make it easier.

Mark, who slowly lay back down, his thighs pressed together nervously. Even as Donghyuck shuffled behind them, taking his thighs and pulled them apart. He leaned in to press a kiss to Mark’s knee, grinning as the other’s limb trembled.

He put a pillow under the other’s hips.

Mark stared back at him from below. One arm down the length of his torso. A hand shyly failing to hide his hard cock. He could see the head, see the precum, see it leaking. See the small mess that had already gotten to the skin of his stomach.

“I could just eat you up.”

“That’s so—”

But Donghyuck was serious; he knelt down. His teeth grazed the flesh of the upper thigh. He nipped. And Mark cursed. The hand that had tried to hide himself had jolted. And immediately, Donghyuck snickered as fingers knotted in his hair again.

He took another lazy nip at the flesh before he pulled away. A small, tiny dark mark left behind.

“Open the bedside drawer, baby,” he instructed neatly. And one hand pulled off him and nervously reached into the drawer. He pulled out the condom first. And embarrassed, turned his head away as he handed it to Donghyuck. “The lube, get the lube, Markie.”

He tried to hand him the bottle, but Donghyuck shook his head. “Turn over, show me how you did it.”

“Hyuck… asshole.”

“Cutie.”

But Mark lifted himself up on his elbows before he flipped over. Donghyuck, ever the gentleman, shifted the pillow he had put on him. He patted the other’s hips, guiding him to settle his weight on his knees properly.

He settled back, staring in quiet awe at Mark’s ass. His gaze flickered away when he heard the sound of the lube being squeezed. Mark put an overgenerous amount on his hands. He could see the shimmer of some that slid down his hand, around the curve of his wrist. Then his arm reached back, and Mark strained to look too, lip bitted hard.

Fuck. He was beautiful.

He tenderly reached for his hole. And, perhaps a little cruel, a little eager, Donghyuck moved forward to press his palms into the soft cheeks and spread them. There was a muted noise. “Making it easier for you,” he murmured, barely able to tear his eyes away as Mark’s finger lazily tapped at his own entrance. “Go on, baby.”

“Shut up,” Mark hissed, ever the kitten with fangs and claws. But it had no bite. He sounded nervous. But slowly, his first finger dipped in, just to the first knuckle. Immediately, he could see how Mark tensed. It looked like his finger was going to be pushed right back out. But he kept going. Moving in and out with one slow, loyal finger. Curling it slightly and trying desperately to reach far in. It was unpractised, honest.

Then he slipped in another. The sloppy sound of the lube in the tight space. Donghyuck’s dick was unbearably hard, but he blinked quickly, not ready to lose a moment of the sight.

“Am I doing it right?”

Of course, Mark had nothing to measure against. He had been so avoidant of touching this subject, even alone, that he was clueless but trying.

Donghyuck gave a shaky nod, glancing over to see how Mark was still trying to look over his shoulder. Breathing heavy and face all flushed, his elbow wobbled.

“Yeah. You’re perfect. Does it feel good?”

Mark’s nose scrunched. “I don’t know. It’s… different.” Donghyuck nodded in understanding. “But, I feel all hot and dizzy knowing you’re here, knowing you’re watching.”

He swallowed. His nails were digging into the handfuls of Mark’s ass he had. The other sighed like that had been so much more.

“I bet you thought about me watching you when you did this before, didn’t you? I bet you wished it was my fingers.”

Mark whined. And suddenly, he couldn’t keep looking back. His elbow dropped, and he buried his face in the crook. His other hand still working himself open.

What a baby.

“I want you to spread your fingers, like they’re scissors,” he encouraged, watching as Mark dutifully copied his instructions. A muffled sound was sparking out of him. “You don’t have to keep trying to go deep; you have to explore, baby. That’s what my fingers would do.” His dick was throbbing, calling him a liar, not his fingers. “I want you to drag your fingers everywhere.”

Curious pet. Mark greedily shoved a third lubed finger into himself. Gasping loud and hard.

“Gentle!” Donghyuck immediately chastised, “Are you okay?”

But Mark ignored him. Three fingers deep into fucking himself, pushing his hips back. He was trying desperately to spread them like he had when he had only two fingers, and he was making feverish, pretty little sounds that were looping in Donghyuck’s head. His back was perfectly curved, his ass presented so elegantly.

Just for Mark to curl his fingers and bite the mattress as a muffled cry ripped out of him.

Bingo.

Mark touched that spot again, crying out. In shock, in pleasure. It was hard to tell. But he tried to shove himself deeper into it. He moved so much that he rocked back so far at one point that Donghyuck’s erection got a grazing taste of being against him.

He should wait—do it another day, maybe.

“Hyuck—Donghyuck! Donghyuck!” Mark was calling urgently, sniffling and whining. “Do it, please. Please will you—”

Donghyuck’s thumb stroked him affectionately, a sweet rejection forming on his lips. If Mark couldn’t say it yet, then he doubted it was time—

“Fuck me. I want it. I just want you, it’s all I want,” he babbled, cluelessly rocking back against Donghyuck.

Yeah. He was screwed.

He fumbled for the condom, tearing the foil off. His underwear and pants were tossed somewhere to the ground. He slid it on as Mark, overwhelmed, pulled his fingers out. Still crying and begging for Donghyuck to finish him off.

He moved his hands to the other’s hips, angled himself in preparation. Tip pressed against the twitching muscle. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Mark’s spine.

“You were made for this,” Donghyuck told him, loving the way that Mark used all his effort to throw him a pitiful look. He already looked fucked out. Mark’s caging thoughts all seemed to have melted away under the pretence of a good fucking. He buried his own smirk as he slowly pushed into the other.

Mark’s mouth opened, a low, curling groan.

Donghyuck stilled. It was a tight fit. But the lube and the stretching had done their part. But he could feel Mark trying to gentle, to relax. But he got squeezed in fervent beats. Ones that warmed and loved his cock in a pleasure he had never known before.

Beads of sweat on the crown of his head began to fall down his skin. “Mark?”

“Move, please,” the other finally said before dropping his face back down into his arms.

Donghyuck thrust in slowly and paced. Loving the sensation of Mark making room for him, of his body adjusting to him. The only other person it was ever going to know. He was sure of it.

Mark eventually began to make small, pleased sounds. Even pushing his hips back slightly, even as his thighs tensed and trembled. Sweat glistening on their sides.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Donghyuck asked, leaning forward, grinning madly even as his own fingers trembled along Mark’s side.

There was a frantic nod. Donghyuck adjusted his angle, sliding in quicker.

Mark’s hand shot up to grab the bedpost. “Ah! There, it’s that spot, again!” he cried out. His legs were sliding outwards as he was barely able to keep himself up. Donghyuck snaked an arm underneath him immediately. His palm sliding across the head of Mark’s dick, who yelped in urgent need. His fingers pressed into Mark’s abs, and he could feel them tense.

Mark was jelly. Totally boneless. Melting into the mattress and moaning nonsensically as Donghyuck jackhammered in.

Donghyuck had to bite the inside of his cheek. Remember to give moments for breathing. But still, nothing was quite as satisfying as whenever he slowed down or pulled out slightly. Mark would just wiggle his hips slightly, and with terrible effort, indicate his attempts to fuck back.

“Please, oh god, Hyuckie,” Mark cried, beautifully. His hand slid underneath himself too, to stroke and tug at his dick. “M’close. So close.”

“Me too,” Donghyuck grunted. It was a few more thrusts before it felt like Mark was practically squeezing him in place. Moaning and whimpering as he came beneath Donghyuck. Making a mess of his hand and stomach, he felt some of the sticky residue hit the hand he had used to hold him up. It felt like sparks in his mind.

Careful, not to overdo it, he pulled out. Sorry for how much he missed Mark’s warmth.

Mark, dazedly, flipped back onto his back and propped himself up with shaking elbows. He stared with a dark gaze as Donghyuck slowly rolled off the condom and tossed it into the paper waste bin. He hoped he didn’t miss.

He fisted his cock, staring straight back at Mark. He could see it now. The little puddle of cum on his stomach. His fucked-out expression. His puffy eyes from crying out. He stroked himself, and he didn’t need to imagine anything to get off. Not when Mark was there. Lips parted, and tongue swiping around like he was craving him. Or when Mark’s dick twitched in a valiant effort despite being surely spent.

Donghyuck finished, leaving ropes of cum across Mark’s stomach. Mixing in.

They stayed like that for a perfect moment. The air smelled of sex, a good kind. And Mark’s freshly-fucked look softened into something a little bashful, a little closer to the idiot that Donghyuck was so taken to.

He could see Mark’s hole twitch, as if it was still searching for Donghyuck, to hold onto him.

“I think we’ll need another shower,” he said softly.

“But I’m so tired now,” was Mark’s immediate reply as he began to sit up. Grimacing hard and stuttering in his usually smooth movements.

Oh, yeah. He was probably going to want to kill him tomorrow when he had to go to schedules and pretend his ass wasn’t killing. He scrounged up his best chivalrous smile.

“Stay put, I’ll get something to clean you up before you shower anyway.”

He was right about the morning.  They had switched to the spare room. Both were too lazy to change the sheets of the main room, and now Donghyuck was snorting as he was half-dressed and watching as Mark glared at him from the bed.

“You want me to rub my ass whilst I’m wearing your clothes in front of everybody,” Mark hissed lowly, his tired eyes blinking angrily as he reluctantly sat at the end of the bed. Donghyuck should probably tell him that was absolutely not the case.

“Yeah. They’re all going to realise how much you love me, aww,” Donghyuck teased, pinching Mark’s cheek, who immediately tried to pull away. Some things never change.

“Who said that?” But Mark’s ears were red.

“We have enough time to go to your apartment and get your things,” he said eventually, watching the way Mark finally waved off his touch before standing up with a grimace.

“Forget it, doesn’t matter,” Mark grunted, beelining it back to Donghyuck’s wardrobe and picking out his own clothes.

Jisung gave Donghyuck an incredibly long look when he and Mark came into dance practice. Little shit. Always looking like he knew everything. Jisung gave an incredulous glance at the black sweats and t-shirt that Mark was wearing, but surely there was no way he knew it was Donghyuck’s. Truly, they were basics; anyone could own them.

Renjun came over quickly, pinching Mark’s elbow and greeting him slowly.

“She said you were handsome,” Renjun said, eyes scrounging Mark’s face for some type of intel.

Mark scratched the back of his neck. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” Renjun said. “That’s a good thing.”

“Oh.”

Mark looked like a fish out of water. Avoiding the topic that Renjun was very clearly steering towards.

“Will you ask her out again?”

Donghyuck stared at Mark, who was staring at Renjun, and he was certain he could feel Jisung’s nosey eyes on the side of his face. Still, no one rushed Mark. They let him stand there, let his overthinking happen. They could see it. In the way he blinked quickly, and the muscles of his face spasmed. It was an aspect of his ideals, of being the kind of guy who could have a pretty girlfriend through the whole idol schtick.

Mark shook his head. “No, um, I won’t be seeing her.”

He could have elaborated. Overcompensated and made excuses. But he didn’t. He spoke softly, kindly. He was braced for Renjun’s annoyance or frustration, but the other just looked at him, studied his face before he nodded.

“Shame.”

Renjun crossed the room, dug in his bag for his phone, glanced at it once and then started stretching.

Mark’s shoulders dropped, relieved. He also began to stretch, although it looked as if he was biting his tongue the entire time, not to grimace. Yeah, Donghyuck definitely owed him dinner or a movie or something.

There was a bump to his shoulder. Jisung.

“Aren’t those your shoes?” he said, quietly like it was a traded secret.

Donghyuck swallowed and looked forward to what Jisung had gestured to with the short incline of his head. Mark wearing his shoes. Because the dress shoes he had worn out wouldn’t suit dance practice, and Mark seemed all too happy to steal his.

Jesus. When did this kid get so observant and so… involved.

“Start stretching, or I’m not paying your cut of the bill next time we’re out.”

Jisung grinned. “You never do.”

At least, when they danced, he could see Mark in the mirror. Already looking at him. Not avoiding his gaze. His eyes were on them, a little shy to have been caught, but not tearing away. Though sometimes, Donghyuck was met with a playful grin.

What they had might be private, might be the type of affection that was kept folded and out of sight. But it was real, and plentiful, and vividly alive. It didn’t scare Donghyuck when Mark couldn’t announce it to the world. Or when Mark still threw his arm around him for posed photos and looked stilted when it was the other way around. It was just Mark. His curious, funny Mark. The cat who wanted affection in the strange corners of the day. He didn’t want eyes on him. But he wanted Donghyuck. And that meant the most to him.

But some nights, Mark stretched the vulnerability, extended it like a warm hand.

Smiled bashfully and sought Donghyuck first in group activities. Laughed like music when Donghyuck tried to embrace him with a hug. Mark looked so happy.

Or, in private moments with friends. Mark shuffled close, dropped his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder and let the other play with his hair and call him cute. Even if it meant Chenle was going to tease him. Even when it meant that people were going to stop misunderstanding their dynamic soon.

“So, there’s this friend of mine,” Jeno tried awkwardly during one rare pizza night. “She wants to have a blind date with you.”

Mark squeezed Donghyuck’s hand under the table. Jisung uncapped the soju and muttered to himself.

“I’ll pass, we’re too busy for blind dates anyway,” Mark said rather matter-of-factly. Ever able to adorn the dutiful leader role when he wanted to evade something.

Jeno, not too fussed but still a good enough friend to try for this mysterious woman’s sake, leaned in. “You’ve never cared about that stuff! And it doesn’t have to be now.”

Mark chewed his lips. “I just can’t.” Jeno looked like he’d failed. “Actually… I’m seeing someone.”

Chenle dropped his food. Jaemin choked on his soda. Renjun and Jeno both leaned back in surprise. Jisung silently drank his soju.

Donghyuck wondered if he could feel more eyes on him than usual.

“Huh, I didn’t know that,” Renjun said quietly, looking reluctantly a little happy for Mark. “Congratulations then. But don’t get distracted!”

“Always scolding…”

“More like congratulations to—” Donghyuck kicked Jisung’s leg under the table.

Mark squeezed his hand again.

Donghyuck really loved his members, he did, but everyone knew how much more he loved Mark.