Chapter Text
No sooner had Cas fled through the kitchen door than Dean had shoved away from the counter, knocking over his stool and startling Annie process.
"Cas! Cas! Castiel! Don't you dare do this! Don't run away from me now! Castiel! PLEASE CAS!" He called as he hopped over the counter and ran after him ignoring Annie's alarmed and confused protests.
He ran as fast as he could manage through the kitchen and then the narrow corridor which must lead to the back of the diner still shouting his plea's for Cas to stop running.
He burst through the back door and found himself blocked by a dead end and surrounded by dumpsters but there was no sign of Cas.
"Dammit Cas!" Dean growled fisting his hands in his hair in frustration as he fought back the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes.
"What do you want from me Dean?"
Dean's eyes widened when he heard Cas' voice behind him. Hearing his voice properly for the first time in 3 months.
"Cas?!" Dean gasped spinning around as if wondering whether this was just another trick. Whether he was dreaming, or worse, had been attacked by a Djin.
"Dean." Cas asked as he tilted his head in confusion.
Upon seeing the familiar expression and realizing that he was real and solid before him. Dean let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"It's you. You're alive. You're alive. Fuck, you're alive." Dean chanted as he took a step towards Cas and enveloped him in a crushing hug.
"Dean, you are hurting me." Cas muttered in a weak protest as he stared at the wall behind Dean as though he would rather be anywhere else in the world but here with Dean.
"Fuck, sorry" Dean pulled back putting some space between them again but refusing to move from between Cas and the door just in case he decided to make a run for it again. "Cas, where have you been? I've been praying every day. I needed you. I still need you! I thought you were dead!"
"I heard your prayers Dean"
"You... You what?" Dean asked as he stepped back looking as though Cas had slapped him. "But- You neve- Why didn't you answer me?" He asked the hurt and confusion he was feeling evident on his face.
"I'm no longer an angel dean. Metatron tricked me. He stole my grace so I can only hear your prayers but I can neither help to resolve them or fly to your side. What use could I possibly be to you now. I cannot help you any more. You won't need me anymore!"
"You think that's what I mean't?!" Dean spit out out a mixture of horrified shock and disgust.
"Well obviously. Why else would you want me back again, you made it clear that I was useless without my grace sometime ago, so I figured that you would not wish to be lumbered with a graceless 'baby in a trench coat'." Cas explained as though it was the most simple and obvious thing in the world.
Shock registered across Dean's face as it dawned upon him what Castiel thought he meant. That he had taken Deans hurt and scared words from all those years ago and allowed it to have such a weighting on his decisions even now.
"Cas, that's not what I meant. If that's what you thought then you were wrong. I was so worried about you. I thought you were dead! But no, you just stayed away because of some shit I said about a million years ago when I was pissed off and barely knew you. Seriously, do you really think that little of me? Of everything we've been through and only mean that much?! Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence on my 'beautiful soul' or whatever shit you call it." Dean retaliated not bothering to hide the hurt in his eyes.
"Don't you dare turn this around on me Dean. Don't you make this my fault! I was fallen, graceless and confused. The last time I saw you you practically cast me away.You left me behind and stopped caring and yet you accuse me of turning my back. You make this my fault?!"
"Cas-" Dean began only to be cut off again by Cas.
"No Dean. Don't you dare make out like I don't care or try and turn this around on me. Everything you've ever accused me of over the years it was all a lie. I rebelled and killed my brothers for you, I went against my fathers "plan" for the earth. I helped you save your brother and yourself from the 'bull shit' apocalypse. I even brought Sam back from hell as best as I could because you told me that was all you wanted. Because I knew how much your brother meant to you.
I would have willingly removed and cast away my grace if you had asked me to; so don't you dare try and turn this back around on me and make it out like I abandoned you because I don't care. Or that there was something better for me because That. Is. Not. True." Cas spat at Dean, he words dripping like a paralyzing venom from his mouth.
"Cas-" Dean whimpered [ Yes he fucking whimpered. He'd have time to feel embarrassed about that later when there was less pressing matters on his mind.]
"Dean..." Cas said as he searched Dean's eyes as though he were trying to read his mind searching for the answer to an unspoken question. And Dean knew when he found it because his whole face changed from confusion to one of certainty and desperation before he crashed their lips together.