Chapter Text
[SASUKE]
"At least try to say hello to everyone?" My mother said softly and everyone's eyes were on me. My eyes instantly widened seeing the amused looks of all my family members on me. Like I was some sort of circus animal. My lips trembled as I fixed them to speak but as I tried to say hello only air came out.
"What is he doing?"
"Is he even trying?"
"What the hell Fugaku?"
"Your son is still stuck in that phase?"
"Isn't he like 20?"
Everyone was berating me with their ill intended questions. I looked over at my father, praying he would stand up for me, do something to make our family stop questioning me. But all I could see was the look of disappointment on his face as his eyes urged me to speak and to speak now. But—. I—. I couldn't. I can't speak. I can't—. I want to go home. I took a step back, lowering my head.
My family all let out frustrated sighs.
"Forget it he's not going to talk," Itachi said and walked past me, bumping my shoulder as he did so. With that all my family members turned their backs on me and walked further into my aunt's house and I was stuck in the area near the doorway.
We were supposed to be here for a while... I already want to go home. That was awful.
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"Seriously Sasuke, what the hell is wrong with you sometimes?" My father asked me on our drive home.
"Fugaku!" My mother snapped.
"What?! How dare he embarrass us like that? I know you talk to Itachi sometimes and you can't even say hello? What kind of shit is that?" My Father ranted and no one had anything to say. All silently agreeing with him. "I mean we were totally embarrassed and teased the entire night over that."
"It was so annoying having to apologize about my younger brother. Everyone thinks he's fucking special or some shit with the way he interacts with people."
"Itachi hey..." My mother said. "Did they really think that?" She asked, turning her head from the passenger's seat to look at us and Itachi nodded.
"They kept asking why he acts like this at his big age and I just had to apologize and keep the conversation going. I mean dude he's so fucking distracting."
"We should've left him at home," my Dad grumbled under his breath. "Now they think I'm an inadequate parent. How—. God I'm so upset." My father said as he clutched the steering wheel hard.
I was berated the whole time in that forty minute car ride. Their words only hit harder and harder the more time we were in the car. My mother soon stopped trying to defend me as if she was starting to agree with what my father and brother were saying about me. And all I could do was take it. I couldn't make them stop. I had no voice. I had... no... voice. God I hate myself.
We soon pulled into the garage and I quickly rushed out of the car and inside the house. I went straight to my bedroom and into my bed, letting out the tears that had threatened to fall the entire ride. I used the pillow as a muffle as I cried and cried. How could they say that about me? To my face at that. They just don't care to even hide how much they despise my existence. I'm sorry I'm mute. I'm sorry I can't fucking talk. You think I wanted to be like this? I want to be normal but I don't even know how to form most words. My voice sounds stupid when I try to say more than three words. I can't do it. I can't. I hate it here. I hate this fucking house. I want to leave. I can't stand it here.
I took out my phone and texted Naruto.
Sasuke
Naruto can you pick me up please
I don't want to be here anymore
Naruto
Omw 15
I let out a relieved sigh and got up from my bed to go to the bathroom that's in my room. I freshened up, washed my face, and changed clothes to pajamas. It was close to nine forty when we made it home and it'll probably be around ten when Naruto makes it here. Oh god what would I do without him?
It's been two months since I've been in Konoha. It's the end of September now and I swear it's been such a great experience hanging out with the group and especially Naruto. I slowly became more content with us just being friends over the course of time. Even seeing it as the best for us. But god knows how much I need him to take me away from here. I'm sure everyone will appreciate my absence since I'm such a fucking embarrassment.
I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed as I waited for Naruto to arrive.
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I quickly fled the house as soon as Naruto texted me he was here. I brought nothing but my phone, wallet, and keys, deciding to just figure out my clothing situation at Naruto's. I'm so mentally exhausted that I didn't even think about spare clothes till I was already outside walking down the driveway. I quickly got in his car.
"Hey—."
[Please get me away from here.]
"Got it." He said and nothing more needed to be said. He soon put the car in drive and we were off to who knows where. Anywhere but here is great.
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We made it to his apartment. We walked inside his place and I saw his father on the couch with both of his arms on the top of the couch.
"Hey Sasuke!" He greeted me loudly and it made me smile. The first time I've smiled at all today.
[Hello how are you sir?]
"I'm doing good. Naruto and I were watching a movie. Everything okay?"
[Yes sir. I just wanted to hangout.]
He gave me a skeptical look. Looking back and forth between Naruto and I with his eyes.
"Alright. I'll be heading to bed soon after this movie is done. Have fun but not too much fun. I'm tryna sleep alright?" He playfully warned. I smiled and nodded before I felt Naruto grab my hand and guide me to his room.
"Sorry it's a little messy. I wasn't expecting you." He said as we walked in and I instantly felt warm being in the familiar space. It was so nicely cluttered with the tapestries, posters, photos, and the LED lights that were a soft blue hue. I'm so lucky to be able to be in this space. A space away from home. And honestly his room wasn't nearly as bad as what I was used to. There were just some dishes and clothes lying on the floor near his hamper but nothing crazy. He continued to guide me in and we kicked off our shoes and sat on his full sized bed.
God it's so comfy. I laid back, pressing my back against his bed as it engulfed me. I need this. I thought to myself, closing my eyes for a few seconds. I opened them and saw Naruto above me with a look of concern written on his face. I glanced away from his stare.
[May I head to bed?]
"You don't want to talk about it?"
[Not really.] I told him and after a few moments he nodded.
"Heard." He said and got up. "Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to turn off the big light and leave my LED's on if that's cool? I'm not too ready to sleep yet."
[Okay.] I said and got into his bed. I laid closest to the wall and took out my phone.
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Naruto was on his phone and so was I. It was nearing 11:30 pm now and I was just mindlessly scrolling to take my mind off tonight but the thoughts slowly began to creep in. About how I'm such a failure. How I wished my family genuinely loved me despite my inability to speak. I wish I wasn't seen as such a freak. Such an embarrassment for our family. God. I could feel my emotions catch in my throat as my mind began to spiral about everything.
Why did I do this to myself? I should've taken speech therapy more seriously. I should've been normal. I wish I was just fucking normal. Not some mute freak who can't even order himself food.
God I've ruined my fucking life because I'm mute.
It's so debilitating. I remember back when I was a stocker how embarrassing it was to hold up that paper telling people I was mute. It was even worse when they didn't understand what that meant and thought I was just being rude and not wanting to talk to them. I was so unable to help people and people thought that I was so rude to the point they'd complain to management about me.
I remember in grade school there were so many instances teachers would forget I'm mute and I'd have those awkward moments of silence when they'd expect me to answer their questions normally. My parents were always so upset when they received calls from my teachers about my issues with participation.
Then in my day to day. How on earth was I expected to make friends? Lord was I lucky to have met Naruto. I don't know what I'd do in this town if I never met him. If he was never there for me. Never there to take me away from that house and my family. I think I'd die all over again. I could barely stand myself most days and being in that house didn't help. Not one bit.
If only he knew how much he truly meant to me. I just–. He makes me feel so safe. So loved and appreciated. I've never felt like this when I was with my family but with Naruto it's a complete 180. The way he treats me, invites me out, and always makes sure we have a good time is so special to me. I don't think he realizes just how important he's become to me in such a short period of time. We've known each other for only two months but it feels like a lifetime. He's my safe space, almost a home away from home. I think I would've lost my mind if I stayed in that house a second longer. I needed an escape and Naruto is just that. He's so great. He's–.
Oh god. I took in a breath, then another, and—.
My shoulders shook up and down as I placed a hand over my mouth to muffle my sobs.
"Oh baby," I heard him softly call out as I felt him move in the bed.
Fuck. The way he said it so softly made my breaking heart break even more. I wish I could've held it in but today—. Today was hell. All those eyes, the laughs, the looks of disgust. It was too much to bear. I couldn't bear it. It hurt so much.
"Sasuke? No no no," he said quickly. "Why are you crying?" He asked me as he gently turned me over. I looked up at him with teary eyes so watery I could barely make him out. I brought my hands up, covering my face as I was so embarrassed to be falling apart like this. I shouldn't be crying. I should be used to this. This is my life. It's expected.
"Oh Sasuke," he cooed and wrapped me in a hug, resting his head next to mine. "Shh baby it's okay. It's okay." My hair was undone, resting past my shoulders. He ran his fingers through it as he hugged me, soothing me with the repeated motion and soft reassuring words. "I know, baby. I know," he repeated. "I'm here okay?"
I nodded, leaning forward and falling deeper into his warm embrace. I'm so tired of being the freak of the family. The freak anywhere I go. All because I can't speak. It's hell.
He held me. He held me the whole time and I just couldn't stop crying. I haven't cried in a while. All the times I didn't cry have led up to now.
I just needed to let it out.
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I don't know how long I was crying for but it had to have been a while. Though I had finally began to calm down. Naruto's hold on me was super grounding and I was thankful he didn't do too much or push me to talk. He just... was there. We laid in the bed together for a while on our sides as we simply hugged.
I pulled back, wiping under my eyes with the back of my hand. I let out a breath before looking into Naruto's bright blue eyes. They were honestly breathtaking at times.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked me with a small smile and I let out a small laugh.
[I think I can.] I told him, biting some of the inside of my cheek. [Basically I was made to be a circus act at a family gathering today. My family very much resents me for that and for being mute. It was just an awful day.]
My hands trembled a little just remembering how they berated me today.
[My whole family looked at me like I was a freak, they thought I was a freak, and treated me like one. Then on the ride home I was berated about what my family really thinks about me and being mute.] I pressed my lips together tight, glancing away as I signed the next words. [They hate that I'm mute. And honestly, so do I.] I admitted with a small shrug.
I looked at Naruto and his face was a bit unreadable. I didn't know what he was thinking.
"Don't be ashamed of being mute Sasuke. I don't know why you're mute but I'm sure you have your reasons. But I know how you feel with your family and them being ashamed of you." He glanced away. "God do I know how that feels," he sighed. "It makes you feel worthless to be frank. But don't let them make you feel that way over something so small, baby. You could be doing drugs, getting in trouble with the law or some shit. Trust me there's actually a lot worse things you could be doing. Your family are just a bunch of selfish dickheads. All this because you're mute? Like deadass that gets me so hot because you're literally not hurting anyone?"
I simply shrugged.
[I guess to them it's comparable because I'm fucking up their reputation. They have a weird kid. Doesn't exactly match the image they want to portray you know?]
"That's so fucking stupid. Like what the fuck? I hate they're making you feel this way, baby. It's just not fair. It's not right."
[Did I ever tell you—.] I paused. [Why?]
"Why you're mute?"
[Yeah.]
"N-No." He stuttered, his eyes looking so excited to hear the reason that I let out a small laugh.
[It's really nothing special. When we were little my brother used to hit me a lot. Even went as far as to beat me up pretty badly when we were kids to the point I had to live somewhere else for like six months while he got anger management. But I wasn't treated well at my Dad's friend's house. They would often pick on me for being quiet too but I never stood up for myself so they continued.] I paused, trying to shoo away the memories I had at that place.
[I started to feel like no matter where I was my voice didn't matter. I eventually lived with my parents again but the habit of not talking stayed because usually I was never spoken to. But again whether it was in my own home, school, the park, a restaurant, it didn't matter. My voice never mattered. So I eventually gave up on talking when I was little and I just never really got over that barrier.] I signed with a sad smile. But soon my smile began to tremble as I remembered those days as a child. Being so isolated and alone. With no one but my own thoughts to keep me company. To grow up without a voice. I thought I was over it but—. My lips began to tremble.
[It's fine. I don't think it's that bad.]
"Baby your brother used to beat you so much you had to be reallocated from your own home? And why did you have to leave and not your shitty brother? And it didn't get any easier for you when you were relocated. And everywhere you went you felt ignored? Sasuke I'm so sorry."
[Like I said it's fine—.]
"It's okay to not be fine Sasuke." Naruto told me. "It sucks. It's okay to say that."
[You don't get it—.]
"Sasuke," he interrupted. "What are you afraid of?"
[I don't want to cry again.] I finally admitted, feeling my glossy eyes start to sting.
"Oh baby," he said so freaking softly that the dam broke loose and I could no longer hold back my tears. He cupped my face with his hand. We were so close as he watched me break down in front of him. My chest was hurting from the pain I felt. I mean I felt like such an outcast by my own family. Who's supposed to love me regardless of my flaws. But I'm just so damn resented by my own family.
It hurts.
I took in a quick breath. It hurts so fucking much. I took in another, removing Naruto's hand from my face, before full on sobbing. I put my hands on my face, my shoulders moving, and my stomach convulsing as I just couldn't stop sobbing. I felt Naruto's hands remove my glasses which were hanging onto me by a thread and place them on the dresser. Then it didn't take long for me to fall back into Naruto's embrace as he wrapped his arms around me. I muffled myself as best I could, hearing my own voice was just making my anxiety worse, it made me hate myself more hearing it. But I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't.
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[NARUTO]
I let a few tears fall seeing how hurt Sasuke was. I know good and well what it means to be the disappointment of the family. It fucking hurts. My poor baby doesn't deserve this. All this over being mute? It's ridiculous how he's treated at home. I'm going to talk to them about this. Make them apologize for this because it's unacceptable and plain disgusting how they've treated him. They should be the ones ashamed, not Sasuke.
I held him tight as he continued to cry. I didn't want to tell him to stop crying. He obviously needed this cry. It's more healing than not to finally let it all out. But soon, I felt Sasuke relax a bit more. Still trembling but not as much, his sobs turned into small cries, and the sniffling started to dissipate. I think he's calming down.
"Do you wanna lay on me sweetheart? I don't mind if you want to." I asked him softly. I could feel how tired he was and I thought this might be better for him now that he's calmed down a little.
I felt him nod. I slowly removed my arms from him and we fell back onto the bed. I laid on my pillow with my back on the bed. Sasuke rested on his side, laying his head on my chest and hugging me close to him.
"Are you feeling any better?" I asked him, looking down. He looked up, our eyes meeting as I stared into his glossy dark orbs. I almost forgot what I asked him for a moment before I blinked, waiting for his answer. But he never answered, simply staring for a few more moments before sniffling and resting his head on my chest once more.
Oh my poor baby. I thought as I rubbed my hand up and down his arm. What should I do? How do I make him feel better about tonight? It's driving me crazy that I'm so useless right now.
I heard his cracked voice and instantly my eyes widened and I noticed he was crying again.
"Sasuke please talk to me," I asked him but he ignored me, simply hugging me closer to him, digging his head deeper into my chest.
Fuck. My heart was beating against my chest at how close we were. God I feel like a fucking girl with her first crush whenever I'm around him. I'm happy he called me when he was feeling like this. That he's able to be this vulnerable around me. Sasuke is my safe space. My judgement free zone. The only person I know who doesn't judge me before I even say what's wrong. I wanted to be the same for him. To be the person he depended on. He could've called his best friend or Neji but no, he chose me. And for that, I am grateful.
"Baby," I said softly, gently pulling him up. "Let me see you." I asked him and after a few seconds he moved up and we both laid on my pillow, facing each other.
I pressed my lips together into a small frown as I moved his hair behind his ear. I did it once more so I could really see him. God isn't he just perfect? Barely any acne, perfect features, nice piercings.
Fuck.
I was broken out of my trace once I noticed him covering his mouth, looking down a little. Soon I noticed a few tears fall and I cupped the side of his face, catching some as they fell. I furrowed my brows a little as he refused to meet my gaze. Simply quietly crying, sniffling every once and a while.
My heart was hurting for him. I could feel his pain and empathize with the intense emotions he's feeling right now. The pain, resentment, and fuck even the embarrassment. It was so much for him to bear. I just. I just wanted to take it away.
I raised up a little, scooting closer to him as I was now slightly above him. He still didn't care to look at me, probably in his own head right now. Ugh. My poor baby. I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss onto his temple. I noticed him blink, shifting a little in the bed.
I know we said that night was... what? Just the heat of the moment. But that was the biggest lie I've told this year. I was scared. I didn't want to mess things up between us so I lied and said it was just the heat of the moment. That night, that kiss, that was me telling Sasuke how I really felt for him. But I was so emotional and my brain was going haywire. I wasn't able to properly communicate that to him. Then we started ignoring each other so I figured to play it safe. I'll just say it was an accident and we'll keep it pushing. But god, I know that's not really the case.
I really have strong feelings for Sasuke. I'm beyond infatuated with him. But I'm scared to say I'm in love because who knows how deep I'll fall? I know there's a chance for us. He's into men. I'm fucking perfect for him, no? But I'm scared to make that leap. To just say fuck it and tell him. I'm usually not like that but something about Sasuke makes me want to be careful, to think about the cards I'm playing. He's fragile. His heart is so fragile. I don't want to break it. I'm reckless. I can be an asshole, selfish, inconsiderate. But he makes me want to change those parts about myself. He makes me want to be that better person I've always desired to be.
I want to be someone he can proudly have at his side.
"Sasuke," I whispered, pressing another small kiss onto his temple. I felt him place a hand on my chest, clutching some of the fabric of my shirt between his fingers.
Our eyes finally met, he looked up at me, his lips slightly parted as we gazed into each other's stare. His dark orbs found mine as we stared into each other's souls and I could... really... see him. For all his worries, his fears, and his dreams. I could see his fears about tonight, how his family will react to his absence tonight, what will happen when he goes home. I could see just how badly he wished to be "normal". To be able to have a voice. I saw it all in those obsidian dark eyes of his.
I blinked, trying to break from his trance but... I couldn't... Not with how he was looking at me. So... desperate... so... longing for... for what? I wondered. I found myself leaning down ever so slightly as I watched his eyes, glance down for a moment before looking into my own again. I felt him gently pull me down by my shirt. I let him lower me down to where our faces were close, almost too close to be considered normal.
"Sasuke," I whispered, my voice barely sounding in the room. "Talk to me baby," I begged him. Wondering just what he was thinking.
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[SASUKE]
We're so close. I thought as I continued to gaze into his entrancing sky blue eyes. They even stood out against the dim blue hue of the room. Woah. I thought as we stared at each other.
"Please. Tell me what you're thinking about, hm?" He pressed a kiss to my cheek and the small act had my stomach doing backflips. The small act of intimacy was enough to make my heart go rampant. "Hm baby?" He asked, pressing another kiss to the corner of my mouth. I gasped, looking at him nervously.
"Don't shut me out. Please." He begged me and I was trying to organize my jumbled thoughts into something coherent but his proximity, his touch, the kisses. It was really getting to me.
[Naruto. We–. We can't keep doing this–.] I told him, weakly placing both of my hands on his chest to stop him from coming even lower. But he still did.
"Doing what?"
[This. This kind of closeness.]
"Why not?" He asked me as he tucked away some fly aways behind my ear. He soon looked back into my gaze and my heart stuttered seeing the shift in his demeanor.
[Because we're friends. You said–.]
"I know what I said baby," he told me as he was now so close I could feel his breath on my lips. My lips trembled due to the proximity, the anticipation...
[Then–.]
"Let me help you forget about tonight," Naruto whispered into my ear. "Use me," he told me but is that what I really want? Is that what he wants? I didn't want to use him. I wanted this to be real.
[Wait.] I signed with one hand as the other was still on his chest.
"I–," he sighed, glancing down for a brief moment. "Sasuke," He then laid on the pillow next to mine.
Though our proximity remained. He was so close to me that my brain was short circuiting with the tense moment. His sharp narrowed eyes and those velvet lips that were slowly turning up into a small smirk, exposing the tops of his teeth. "Stop thinking so much all the time," he said. I stared at him, eyes slightly widened with my lips parted waiting.
I wanted to kiss him again.
But not in a hookup type of way but because I have truly fallen for him. I wanted to kiss him in a way that expressed that. In a way that told him everything I needed him to know without me having to sign a single word. I didn't want to use him to make myself feel better. I just wanted to kiss him because it's him.
But I'm scared to tell him that because... Ugh... I don't understand him nor his relationship with intimacy? Is this just another day for him? I've unfortunately become so attached to him that that kiss meant a lot to me. So much that I couldn't go more than two days without replaying it in my mind. The feeling of his lips, his mouth on mine. I wanted more than that. I wanted him. I wanted Naruto.
Maybe tonight I can show him that.
I watched as he slowly turned his head to the side, our lips so close we were almost exchanging breaths between each other. I glanced down watching as he licked some of his top lip before pressing his lips together for a moment before they parted once more.
We stayed in this dance for a few moments, neither of us daring to make the first move.
I felt his tongue run over my lips. I smiled though I was shocked. We shared a small giggle.
"Come on baby. I'm right here." He told me and his words made me shudder. He was open to this. I needed to move.
He took in a deep breath as his hand moved to tuck some stray hairs behind my ear. I glanced down, swallowing hard as I looked at his lips that were slightly upturned into a small smirk. His warm hand cupped my face. He licked his lips as his thumb traced over my own. I was completely entranced by his movements. I wanted him. I wanted to feel his lips against mine but—.
I heard a small smack and before I could even process it, I felt his lips on mine once again. He slowly kissed my bottom lip and pulled back with another soft smack. Before he could kiss me again, I kissed him, quick and clumsily our lips met again, falling together like long lost pieces of a puzzle.
I let out a relieved breath through my nose at the fact that we were finally doing this. I had craved this for so long. I know we said it was just the heat of the moment but for me that night meant more to me than he'll ever realize. It made me realize just how much I've fallen for Naruto. How far I'm willing to go. How deep I'm willing to fall.
I was unable to get the kiss out of my head, replaying the moment almost everyday. The feeling of his lips, the way he kissed me, the passion behind it. God it didn't feel like a heat of the moment kiss.
It felt like...
A confession.
He held my face close as he pulled back briefly just to reconnect our lips once more. He pressed another kiss then another to my lips and god did it just feel so right. I brought my hand to his face as well, holding him close, holding him as if he'd float away if I let go.
"Mmph," I moaned as he slipped his tongue in my mouth. I tried my best to find a rhythm with him but it was almost hypnotic with the way he'd press and wrap his tongue around mine to the point I'd forget to move my own. And just as I was trying to get used to him, I now felt his hand trailing my side. It soon pulled my leg on top of his, forcing us closer together. I was so hot, the kissing, this intimate position, it was too much–.
I heard him moan into the kiss. The beautiful sound made my stomach tighten from its pitch. I soon felt like I couldn't breathe and it was probably because I wasn't. I was too entranced and we were making out for so long I forgot to. I turned my head, disconnecting the kiss, and desperately breathed in to get air. I heard Naruto chuckle as he pressed kisses on the side of my face. Trailing them up to my ear which he licked the outside before biting the top of it hard, making me wince, but a moan escaped me. My heart stopped at the sound of my voice.
I instantly turned to face Naruto.
[Sorry.] I signed, my cheeks feeling hot as I was still catching my breath. Naruto simply smiled.
"Don't be," he said and sat up, soon placing himself between my legs. The subtle action made my stomach tighten with a mix of nervousness and anticipation.
"Focus on your breathing," he told me as all this was making me feel a bit lightheaded as I was barely able to hold open my eyes as I looked up at him. "Fuck," he whispered as we held each other's stare. I was breathing through my mouth, panting a little as I noticed Naruto scoot down and–.
I covered my mouth with my hand muffling the shocked gasp that escaped me as he placed a kiss onto my neck. He licked up my neck before placing a kiss underneath my jaw. A shiver ran through me as he continued and I kept the hand over my mouth, hushing myself as he now traced patterns with his tongue into my neck.
The sensation made me feel beyond sensitive as he'd softly suck on the area before biting it hard enough to make me whimper. I mouthed a small 'fuck' as I felt his right hand trail my side as he worked on the left side of my neck. The combination of him sucking on my neck and his big warm hand on my side was driving me crazy. I didn't know which to focus on but they both served to make me feel things I've never felt before. My stomach felt like it was on a rollercoaster, my heart was beating so fast, and my breathing was so irregular even though this was supposed to be my time to regulate it.
"Ah," I gasped, bringing my hand up from the sheets to his hair as he wouldn't stop sucking on my neck. I breathed out a long breath as I felt his hand go under my shirt, feeling his hand against my bare skin, leaving a trail of fire as he trailed my side. He placed a kiss underneath my jaw once more.
"I know love," he whispered gently. "Almost done."
He continued sucking on my neck for another minute before finally releasing me. He raised up and we locked eyes and... oh shit. I swear I saw a flash of... red in his eye as those ocean blue eyes were half lidded and filled with... desire.
"Fuck," he gasped, dipping his head down as he used his hand to adjust his pants. "We should stop. I'm getting ahead of myself."
I bit my bottom lip as I watched him raise his head and look back at me. A sudden wave of sadness struck me like a bolt of lightning. He was starting to move but I used a few fingers to take hold of his shirt, keeping him in place.
[Naruto.] I signed. [What did we just do?]
I noticed him wear a small frown and he tilted his head to the side.
"What do you mean?"
[Are we just going to say this was the heat of the moment too?] I asked him.
"Did you want it to be something more?" He asked and it–. It lowkey pissed me off.
[I–.] I paused, pressing my lips together hard. [Why? How can you just–?]
He's a player Sasuke. He might be using you like Neji said.
[Why are you doing this with me? Is this all you want from me?] I asked honestly, feeling my heart hurt.
"I thought you wanted this? I was just trying to help."
[Naruto I don't just do this with anyone. I–.] I paused, feeling my emotions getting caught in my throat as I realized just what I'm telling him. [I wanted this to mean something to you.] I said, glancing away as I couldn't handle his reaction.
"Sasuke," he said and after a moment I turned and looked at him. "This did mean something to me. It meant a lot honestly."
[Then why are you acting so nonchalant about what we just did?]
"Because I don't want to scare you off."
[Scare me off?]
"Yeah. I'm going at your pace. Whatever you want I'll do. I'll go as far as you want me to."
Ugh I understand that but it still feels very nonchalant of him.
"Baby I'm not gonna lie. I'm so confused. I feel like sometimes you like me and other times I feel like I'm just overthinking it. Like that night I thought that was us finally confessing to each other. But you acted so uncomfortable after it that I just decided to call it off because I didn't want to lose you. But now you're acting like I did something wrong because I'm trying not to screw this up more than I know I already did."
"Sasuke you know I like you," he admitted and it shocked me hearing him tell me those three little words. "It's obvious that I like you, but I don't know how you feel about me. Sometimes I feel like you're feelin' me and other times I think you don't. I don't know."
[I like you too.]
His brows rose.
"S-Seriously?" He asked me and I nodded.
[I'm sorry for how I acted after we kissed. What you thought about me is what I also thought about you.]
"Oh god. We're such a mess." Naruto laughed as he placed his hand over his forehead. "Jeez," he breathed out. "So... what... now..." He asked with a small laugh.
[Did you want to try, maybe, being together in that way?]
"Oh! Uh..." He trailed and my heart... oh my heart... it felt like it had just been stabbed. "I'm not saying no but it's more like I think you should really think about if you want to date someone like me baby. I'm trying to be better for you but I don't know if I'm there yet."
[Are you pulling a–. It's not you, it's me, right now.]
"Yeah kinda sorta but listen I... I think we should try it out before we really commit to it. I really wanna date you baby but I need some more time to sort myself out."
[So we're–?]
"There's no label. We're just us but trying out dating. We'll go on dates, kiss a little, but I really want you to understand what you're getting into with me. I don't want you to feel trapped with someone like me."
I understand what he's saying but I feel like I know him enough to want to date already but if he wants us to test it out I will. I think it's actually very mature of him to want me to be completely sure that this is what I want.
I nodded.
[Okay. I agree then.]
"Oh my god," he said, putting his hand over his heart. "Baby my heart is pounding right now." He told me. "I lowkey thought it may have been over so this is like the best outcome ever. Oh my god! Finally I don't have to stop myself every fucking five seconds!"
I raised a brow. [You've been holding back?]
"Oh you have zero idea the internal turmoil I've been going through about us. But that's in the past. I'm so excited for the future. I'm going to treat you so good Sasuke."
[I'm going to treat you very good too.]
"You already do," he said with a small smile.
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