Chapter Text
Mingi never realized how annoying the vibration on his phone was. He enjoyed texting on any other day, but now he wishes he could throw his phone out the window.
He needed to get out of bed; he felt utterly pathetic, the sun was already setting, and he hadn't moved from the nest he made for himself the night prior after he forced Hoongjoong to leave.
Mingi glanced at his phone again, another text from Hongjoong, his eighth text since yesterday. He groaned and closed his phone. He felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. How could he let some guy he's only been on a few dates with make him feel this way?
He removed the blankets from atop him and forced his limbs to carry him out of bed; his legs protested from barely being moved for the last twenty-four hours. Mingi moved to his window, cracking it open for the cool air to blow inside, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag.
The smoke helped his nerves feel less raw and exposed; he moved into the bathroom, looking at his reflection was a mistake — red eyes, tear-stained cheeks, his hair stuck to his forehead from tossing and turning.
Mingi sighed at the state he was in, peeling off his clothes and stepping into the shower. He let the water heat up until it was near burning, and wished he could wash away all the thoughts in his head and the ache in his chest.
After his shower, Mingi decided to go down to his home studio to clear his head. He had a meeting the next day with a potential client; he needed to get his bearings back in order, and he was not letting another guy stand in the way of his work again.
He took a blank canvas from his stock, setting it up on the easel and grabbing his clean brushes and paint palette. He squeezed fresh paint onto the palette, mixing colors to form new ones — he let his brush graze the canvas and make the first stroke.
Mingi liked creating with no end goal, allowing his mind to freely create its own picture, and his hands followed suit. He let his thoughts drift, first to the idea of having a new commission tomorrow and the excitement of creating for others again and getting back into his normal routine again.
He thought of the painting he made of Wooyoung earlier this week, how it felt to bring another person's body to life on paper again. Mingi never felt more like himself than when he was standing behind a canvas while the other person stripped themselves bare and laid their trust in his hands.
It was powerful, it was not just the vulnerability of seeing someone naked — it was another human laying their most unguarded self out and placing their faith in him. Nothing compared to watching another person not only appreciate the work he's done, but see themselves in a new way.
Mingi's mind drifted to the night prior with Hongjoong, mouths hot and wet on one another and his hands on Hongjoong's chest that felt so good under his fingertips, like they belonged on his skin, like they were home.
He pictured their body's pushed together, Hongjoong's head thrown back and eyes closed, pretty long lashes splayed over his face and mouth slightly open as he brought them both to completion.
It had been incredible; it felt raw and real, something Mingi hadn't felt in months. His first taste of happiness was just to be ripped out from under him in a matter of seconds.
Mingi's hand trembled as he stroked the brush over the canvas absentmindedly. He blinked his eyes a few times, bringing his attention back to the picture before him. Long strokes of black and gray seeped down the stark white background, forming a silhouette that had sharp muscles and soft curves.
Upon the canvas was a figure that Mingi's hands had roamed up and down the night prior, Hongjoong's torso painted in different shades of black and gray, created from memory alone.
Mingi had dissociated and hadn't even realized what he was creating, but it was unmistakably Hongjoong. He let out a sigh, putting his palette down. He observed his work; it was the best painting he had made in months, and from memory alone. It was better than what he had done with Wooyoung.
It made him want to scream, on one hand, he was proud and felt finally like he was over this terrible block, but on the other, he was angry it was Hongjoong who was the reason.
He heard a pounding on his front door, startling him and causing him to stick his hand right in the palette he had sat on the table. Black and white paint now coated his fingers, the knocking persisted and no towel in sight, so he wiped his hands down the shirt he was wearing.
He rushed to the door, ready to lash out at whoever was on the other side, who was only knocking louder.
Mingi swung the door open, mouth already open to yell, but clamped his lips shut when he caught sight of Hongjoong. Now, hurt and a different kind of anger flooded through him.
Hongjoong looked disheveled, with dark circles under his eyes, a pair of gray sweatpants and a large, hoodie that was wrinkled, and his normally neatly styled hair was sticking up in different places.
"What are you doing here?" Mingi asked, trying to keep his voice from trembling. He really had some nerve, and Mingi wanted to slam the door right in his face.
"Mingi..I- why aren't you answering my text? What happened last night? I keep replaying every moment in my head, and I just don't understand. I'm sorry for just showing up, but I'm going crazy." Hongjoong's voice was pleading.
Mingi took a deep breathe, calming his now racing heart. "I saw your text." Mingi replied.
Mingi expected Hongjoong's face to pale, for him to realize he was caught, but he only tilted his head, a confused look over his face, eyebrows knitting together.
"What text?" he asked.
"I know I shouldn't have read it, and I wasn't trying to but you left your phone on the couch and I saw it before even realizing, but I know you're seeing someone else…and I know we didn't talk about being exclusive but I was serious about this and I'm not in any space to be someone's hookup." Mingi felt a lump forming in his throat, but he was not going to cry in front of Hongjoong. He was going to stand his ground; tears could come later.
Hongjoong just looked at him with an even more confused look, and now he was getting angry. Was he really about to play dumb?
"Mingi..what are you talking about? I'm not seeing anyone else! I'm only interested in you." Hongjoong stepped closer, but Mingi retreated. A look of hurt crossed the other's face.
"Then who's Seongwha? Why is he texting about ruining you then?" Mingi spat; his anger was starting to bubble over.
Hongjoong still looked confused, then a look of realization washed over him.
"Oh my god, no! Mingi..no- you've got it all wrong." Hongjoong was scrambling his words.
Mingi crossed his arms, gesturing for him to continue.
Hongjoong sighed. "Seongwha is my friend in book club, we're reading this book about these hockey players…" he paused, his face flushed pink. Mingi quirked an eyebrow.
"Gay hockey players…they are together. Last night, the text you saw was a quote from the book…it's um…got a lot of sex scenes." Hongjoong's blush deepened.
Mingi just stared, brain trying to process the information Hongjoong had just delivered.
Hongjoong pulled his phone out of his pocket, frantically pulling up his text and shoved his phone into Mingi's hand.
"Look, you can see we were just talking about the book.." Hongjoong says, shoving his phone in Mingi's hand.
He glances down at the open text messages.
5:32pm — Hongjoong: Just finished the next chapter! You are going to die!
5:45pm — Seongwha: Going to read tonight! Can't wait!!
8:58pm — Seongwha: "I have ruined you, no one else will do." another text directly after.
8:58pm — Seongwha: oh my god, Ilya! my heart is pounding after that chapter!!
Mingi feels embarrassment and shame wash over him as he hands the phone back to Hongjoong. He rakes his hands over his phone, unable to meet Hongjoong's gaze.
"I-god, Hongjoong, I am so sorry. I am a total idiot. I shouldn't have even read your messages, let alone assume something like that. We aren't even together, I just freaked out and I-" Mingi took a deep breath, collecting his words.
"I really did enjoy all the time we spent together. I am sorry for ruining it. Thank you for coming by to clarify. I didn't deserve that after how I treated you." Mingi dropped his head; he had well and truly done it now. He closed his eyes as he waited for Hongjoong to tell him how badly he messed this up.
Hongjoong's smaller hand wrapped around Mingi's, squeezing gently as he stepped closer. Mingi finally locked his eyes with Hongjoong's, and he didn't see anger there, just…understanding.
"Mingi, it's okay. I probably would have reacted the same way, or worse, honestly, I can be a bit…jealous." Hongjoong admitted shyly.
Mingi grinned, feeling less guilty for his overreaction. "Do you want to come in? Tell me more about this book?" he asked.
Hongjoong smiled then, breathtaking as always, nodded and followed Mingi inside.
His gaze dropped to Mingi's shirt, then to his hands. "Were you painting?" Hongjoong questioned.
Mingi flushed, remembering the now-stained shirt and hands in his rush to get to the door and then what he had been painting before the interruption.
"Um…yes." internally praying Hongjoong would not ask to see.
"Can I see?" Of course. He didn't want to lie to Hongjoong and make an excuse; he could say it was a client and he wasn't allowed to share. Anxiety crept through his body, worry that Hongjoong would think he was weird for painting him; he swallowed it all down, if this going to work, then he had to stop letting fear control him.
"Yeah." he gestured for Hongjoong to follow him.
They entered the small studio, Hongjoong's eyes roamed around, taking in all the supplies, the unfinished projects, the room that Mingi poured his soul into most days.
Hongjoong's eyes finally locked onto the fresh canvas, his breath hitched as he moved closer.
Fingers outstretched to touch, Hongjoong halted the last second, realizing the canvas was still wet. His eyes roamed from corner to corner, not speaking, and Mingi was starting to feel panic rise in his throat.
"Is this…is this me?" Hongjoong swallowed. Mingi couldn't read his tone.
"Yeah.." he whispered.
Hongjoong studied the painting for a few more moments before finally turning to face Mingi. His expression was neutral, and Mingi swallowed the lump in his throat.
He opened his mouth to speak, but Hongjoong was on him before words could come out.
The kiss was searing. Hongjoong slipped his tongue out instantly and coaxed Mingi's mouth, one small hand wrapped around his waist as the other gripped the back of his neck, and Mingi didn't realize he was even moving until his hips hit the table.
Hongjoong slotted one leg between Mingi's, pulling their bodies flush. Mingi groaned into his mouth, cock staining in his pants as he ground down onto Hongjoong's leg.
Hongjoong's hands pushed at the hem of Mingi's shirt, feeling his way up until he was pawing at Mingi's chest like it was his lifeline. Calloused fingers scraped across his nipple, and he moaned.
Hongjoong grinned in between kisses, hands roaming Mingi's entire body until he felt like he was burning from the inside out.
Hongjoong pulled away, leaving Mingi panting and feeling dizzy.
"Where..do you have lube?" Hongjoong sounded equally as breathless, and Mingi felt.
Mingi nodded, ears turning red as he opened the top drawer of the table behind him and pulled out the small bottle.
Hongjoong grinned and was on him again, kissing him softer this time, slower, coaxing little whimpers out of him.
Hongjoong's hand worked Mingi's pants open, sliding his sweatpants and boxers down to release his now fully hard cock. He wrapped his hand around and stroked slowly; Mingi gasped and shamelessly moaned into Hongjoong's neck.
The pace was making his head spin, enough to drive him wild, but not enough to push him to an orgasm. He bucked into Hongjoong's hand, and he stilled.
"There's no rush…" His voice had dropped an octave; he sounded like pure sin, and Mingi was ready to fall apart right then and there.
Hongjoong stripped Mingi's shirt off and then his own, pulling them back into another searing kiss, the heat from his body wrapped around Mingi like a vice, and Hongjoong's hands were now on Mingi's hips, spinning him.
"Turn around for me, baby." Mingi's body was moving on its own. He would do anything Hongjoong wanted, just as long as he kept his hands on him.
Mingi spun around, Hongjoong's hands were already sliding his pants completely off, leaving him bare. A calloused hand was on his back and pushing him down slowly until he was now bent completely over the table.
Mingi didn't care about the wet paint palettes that his body was now lying on, or the spilled bottles that were knocked over and dripping towards his face. All he cared about was Hongjoong, and his hands running over him and his body that was now pressed against Mingi's backside.
A hand was running up his thigh, making him shiver as it landed on his ass and palmed him roughly. A slap made him jump and whimper loudly, his face turning red.
Hongjoong massaged the spot his hand had landed, and Mingi shivered in anticipation.
"You're so beautiful," Hongjoong whispered. Mingi's heart sang.
He heard the cap of the lube open, and then Hongjoong's hand was back on his ass. Mingi gasped; it had been a long time.
"It's okay, we will go slow..want to make you feel good." and then Hongjoong was spreading him open, massaging his rim slowly, carefully, taking his time.
It almost felt foreign at first, having another person's hands on him, making him shiver from soft touches. Unlike the usual roughness he had come to know in the past when another person was over him, this was soft, tender…sweet.
Hongjoong massaged him until Mingi's body had started to relax and small gasps were pulled from him, and then he was being spread open on Hongjoong's fingers.
One at first, then two, until three fingers were spreading him open and dragging out loud moans. Mingi felt delirious; he wasn't sure if his face was wet from the paint that had seeped down or the drool that was surely dripping from his mouth in his ruined state.
Hongjoong slowly removed his fingers, leaving Mingi feeling empty. He glanced back at Hongjoong as he was pushing his pants off.
Mingi had seen many beautiful things in his life: Botticelli's Birth of Venus painting, the Northern Lights, the shores of Santorini, Greece, but all failed in comparison to the beautiful man behind him.
Hongjoong caught sight of Mingi staring at him, a giggle escaped his lips and Mingi stared back at him, puzzled.
Hongjoong pulled Mingi back off the table, spinning him around to face him and only giggled harder.
"What!?" Mingi asked, confusion knitting his brows together.
Hongjoong locked those sparkly eyes onto him and brought their mouths back together, pulling them flush together once more.
Mingi melted into the kiss, cock pressed against Hongjoong's stomach, leaking and hard, and the friction from their bodies pressing together felt so good.
Hongjoong pulled back, a grin on his face. It took Mingi a moment in his lust-filled haze to see the black and white paint now smeared all over Hongjoong's face and body.
Mingi couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of him as he took in the sight before him, giggles turned into full belly laughs, and both were soon bent over on the other in a fit of loud laughter.
Hongjoong laughed in between each kiss he planted on Mingi's shoulder, all the way up to his neck, until he found his mouth again, kissing him softly and smearing the paint on their noses until it was a shade of gray.
Hongjoong intertwined his fingers with Mingi's, leading them out of the studio and into the bedroom.
"As much as I enjoyed seeing you bent over the table, I wanna see your face when I'm making you cum." Hongjoong and his boldness. Mingi would never get tired of it, of the rush it sent through him.
Clothes left behind, paint still smeared and now drying down their bodies, Mingi fell backwards on his bed as Hongjoong crawled over him.
Hongjoong spread his legs, positioning himself to line up with Mingi's entrance. He slicked himself up with more lube and placed the tip at his hole, thrusting in slightly.
Mingi gasped as Hongjoong pushed in. The prep helped, but the burn was still there. Hongjoong was thick, and when he finally bottomed out, Mingi had never felt so full in his entire life.
Hongjoong's hands were rubbing soft circles in Mingi's thighs, coaxing his body to relax.
"You feel…you feel incredible." Hongjoong squeezed his eyes shut as he slowly began to thrust into Mingi.
The burn and stretch eased into something pleasurable, and it didn't take long before Mingi was throwing his head back on the pillow and moaning loudly as Hongjoong's pace quickened as he fucked into him deeply.
"Oh my god…Hongjoong." Mingi groaned, and it spurred Hongjoong on further until Mingi was only aware of the sound of slapping skin and the heat coiling deep in his belly.
"I-Hongjoong, please…" eyes rolled back, Mingi's thighs wrapped around Hongjoong's waist to pull him closer.
"You're incredible, baby." Hongjoong's voice had dropped an octave as he kept whispering words of praise in Mingi's ear; how amazing he felt, how beautiful he was, he's all Hongjoong ever wanted.
It was all too much, and Mingi was cumming with a deep groan, coating his stomach as Hongjoong continued to fuck him through it.
Hongjoong was close behind, hips thrusting in deep as he came inside Mingi.
His movements slowed, and he slumped forward, landing on Mingi's chest, both panting heavily. Mingi's arms came up to wrap around Hongjoong and nestle him further into his chest, and Hongjoong planted soft kisses on his pecs.
After several minutes passed, Hongjoong slid out of Mingi and rolled next to him.
"We really made a mess.." Hongjoong laughed, arm slung over his face to cover the blush that had spread.
Mingi glanced over at Hongjoong, now covered in dried paint, sweat and his cum that now coated both of their stomachs.
Mingi smiled widely. They were both a sticky mess, but Mingi didn't care. He had never in his entire life felt so content; he had never had anyone make him feel so good, and he wanted to bottle this moment up and keep it forever.
Hongjoong turned over and stroked Mingi's face gently. He shut his eyes, relishing in the soft touches.
"Be mine.." a whisper, Mingi barely heard it, but he caught it.
"What?" Mingi asked, heartbeat picking up once more.
"I've never cared about anyone like this, Mingi. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. When you made me leave and then didn't answer me after last night, I thought you were done and…it hurt, and that scared me, and I don't want to lose you. I want you, I want to be with you in any way you will have me."
Hongjoong's words struck Mingi deep in his chest, squeezing his heart tight.
Here was Hongjoong, bold and beautiful, who made Mingi feel like he could be loved again, he could heal, and he could be happy.
Mingi turned fully to Hongjoong, who was now biting his bottom lip, a nervous habit Mingi wondered, and he wanted to wonder; he wanted to learn every habit, quirk, and tick about Hongjoong.
He kissed Hongjoong, slow and sweet, before pulling back to meet eager eyes.
"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?" Mingi questioned, head tilting.
Hongjoong giggled, the sweetest sound that wrapped around Mingi and squeezed him. "Yeah, I am."
"Yes..god, yes. I really care about you too, and when we met I-I had given up; up relationships, on other people, and on myself. You've given me hope again." Mingi admitted.
Hongjoong grabbed his face and kissed him again. They smiled in between kisses, teeth clashing and laughing.
Mingi felt lighter than he had in a very long time; his heart felt like it could burst.
A few short weeks ago, he believed himself unworthy of love, of being happy, and that all love did was break and burn; but now, now Mingi was watching it begin again.