Chapter Text
Chapter 5 - love mike.
The heat, the tension, the unbearable need between them could be felt along the whole table. They didn’t say a word but their eyes said everything there was to say. They spoke without a sound and they understood each other. You could read Mike’s regret in his eyes, in each slight expression, not envy, not disappointment with Will. He never got to say his true feeling to Will, but rather disappointed in himself, he could have had it all, but he was too late, he always seems to do that, be too late?
Will on the other hand, he was utterly angry, frustrated, he still loves Mike, he never stopped, and the thought that he was there this whole time, and he never once dared to come and say hello? Is this happening again? Did he really came to the same town he is in and once again could not give a crap to talk to him?
Two different emotions, same root, Michael Wheeler.
Around the dinner, no one dared to brake the silence. Jane’s eyes focused on Will the whole time. She knows the difficulty to deal with the kind of person that is Mike, to try to read him and never be sure on what he’s feeling.
She gives will a gentle nudge under the table in hopes he would notice and follow her lead.
Jane gets up quickly, giving another glance at Will. “—um, excuse me, I think I will cut the dinner short. I’m just a bit tired, If that’s okey?”
“Sure honey” Joyce said, with an worried expression on her face. Will quickly follows her lead. “ Hey, wait” he turned to Joyce “ I’m going to take her home, is kinda late and I don’t want her to be alone.”
In his urgency, he totally forgot about the one he dragged here, now he’s going to leave him alone? But he knows, what ever Jane had to say is more important. In that moment he realised that perhaps he was the jerk all along. He keeps judging mike for toying him around, but isn’t what he is doing to Carlton the same thing?
Full of regret, he tilts his head near Carlton, and with a lower voice, enough to be heard just by him. " I'm so sorry, I'm not going to take long, I promise. "
"Don't worry. You would make it up to me." Gibing him a playful wink, then smirked.
Will grabs his shoulder, squeezing it gently. An act so small, but so intimate. A gesture that would be overlooked by many, but not by Mike.
His eyes move between the touch, and the way Will looks at Carlton. He squeezed his fist in his lap, as jealousy takes over his body. He’s the outsider now. The one that has no choice but observe the love of his life, fall in love with someone else.
Jane makes her way through the dining room and then out of the the door, soon followed by Will.
The rest of the evening carried on peacefully. No conversation has been carried on, mainly because the adults were around the table now, so no one had an interest in revealing their lifestyles in front of their parent. But the other reason was the tension Jane and Will created by their abrupt escape.
This situation alone Mike alone with his thoughts, enough time to rewind, to rethink. Everything that happened today went the contrary of what he imagined.
Tapping his fork on his plate, in an attempt to distract himself, Mike's eyes lingers to Will's seat, overwhelmed by everything that happened. Lost deep in his thoughts, This is not the way he imagined the night would go. He wanted Will, alone, alone enough that he could talk, apologies.
Instead, he's done this? No amount of reflection can fix the disappointment he felt with himself. He loves Will, he adores him…
What is wrong with you? You were supposed to make everything better… no wonder Will left. Just wait for Will, shut up of a second, and just…apologies..
Both step out into the night, Swallowing them whole into the pitch-perfect white. It's silent, sombre,but peaceful. It's been snowing for the past few days, and now everything feels… empty, no sound, no car in sight. Nothing
Jane's steps have a rushed pace in them, each leaving a clear print into the snow, as she looks behind every now and then. Will still follows, shortly behind her, each exhale slowing him a little more. The cold terrify him, deep wounds that leaves him defenceless
"Can you stop for a moment, and talk to me?" He reached enough to grab her shoulder and pull her back, stopping her finally.
"What's all this about? " He points back at the house, pounding at his chest, still trying to catch his breath.
"I could ask you the same, What was all that with Mike at the table ?" She crossed her arms.
He turns his back, almost ashamed to face her. " I don't know what you are talking about"
"Common Will, we are not about to play this game. "
In this moment everything feel flat, everything became serious, he cannot pretend anymore. He is not at collage right now, is nowhere he could hide in Hawkins, he has to talk to someone, and if he wants to go through those days he needs someone in his side.
His solder dropped, he turns back to face her, visibly uncomfortable, he rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Who is this guy?" She narrowed her eyes "And why here?"
He rubs his temple in desperation . "My… Boyfriend.."
She tilts her head "Boyfriend? Does Mike know ? " a sense of disbelief and and light amusement run through her body.
" I don't fucking know… he might as well, you heard what Karen said. He was everywhere apparently. How fucked up is that? He was there and didn't even came up and say hi, in what? three months? "
She took a step back "Will…"
He registered the sudden change in her de-miner. This is not what he wants, to worry her, to worry everyone once again. He was a burden for everyone already, or that's what he thought.
He rushed to grab her freezing hands, holding them tight " Look, I'm sorry, I know i should at least told you, but I didn't know how to approach the subject the first time. And the the days just flew by, everyone was worried about everything else, and I just… got lost, I just… I Don't know" He squeezed her hands tighter, almost begging for an ounce of understanding, forgiveness, something he can hang on.
She looked down at his hands. He was shaking, She scanned his body up and stopped as she catches his eyes filling up with tears. There was no need for words, she understood everything. She pulled him into a hug, he fought in an attempt to seem strong, but in the end gave in, and just accepted, he cannot do this alone.
They sat there for a moment, until both their bodies understood that it is okey to break apart.
"Look, Will, I'm not mad or anything. I think I'm just confused, if you want to have a boyfriend, and he is nice and all, have at it… BUT— Jesus Christ, Why did you bring him HERE ? NOW?"
Million dollar question.
The realisation took over him. There was no more time to run around the question. He is here, Carlton is here, and so is Mike. He needs a plan.
"Do you think—THIS— was my idea?"
"Was it not?"
"Um.. no? Obviously, have you met me? He scratched his head. " Mom and Jonathan decided to be 'spontaneous' … when they have ever done that ?" Still walking around, scrambling for ideas.
" You—you got to help me!" he said.
"Me..? Like in 'myself' , I ?
"Do you see anyone here? Yah you. Jane, i can't survive three weeks like this "
" Look Will, not to be a buzz kill, but don't you think you're being a bit extra? So he's here, introduce him and all good right ? We all friends at the end of the day, Everyone would understand"
Not everybody…
"Besides, We are here to enjoy this holiday, can we stop giving Mike so much credit? I for once, have no deal in all this… you are the one that "wants" to get over him.
"Well… " His voice start trembling, any logical through stopped at this very moment, as it's no way into spinning the words around to avoid any repercussion of his action.
Jane stopped for a second, her smile slowly faded, as panic take it's place.
"Well..? Well what? "
Will just stood there, half ashamed, guilty, clearly searching his mind for a plausible answer.
"well what, Will? This time, er voice sounded more definitive.
"Well… About the "you not having a deal in all this" …"
"Yeah?"
"I kinda told Carlton, that the reason i cannot be around Mike… is.. that you are deeply…devastated…"
"Nooo" Her eyes widen, her pulse raises. "You didn't"
The time freezes for a moment, their boots deeply into the snow, hand in had, their eyes locked in disbelieve of the truth Will just unravelled. Both remains still, their raising hearts, rushed breaths crystal clear in the silent night, both ins-inc.
Will's gaze drops, filled with shame, he takes a look back at her,he opened his mouth but quickly closed it again. Nothing sounds right anymore.
Jane turns around, placing her hands on her hips, silent. Will just stares, burring his hands into his sleeves, show flakes covering his hairs.
"Will…" she said quieter but heavier this time " You told him what exactly? "
He shifts his weight, with his gaze still on the ground following the track of his steps, wishing he would of just stay inside. " I panicked" he murmured " Carlton kept asking who the Wheelers are, and i.. i just needed to find an answer that didn't made me look like I'm falling apart again"
She turns back to to face him. Breathing heavy, leaving out a laugh, unamused but eased short laugh. "So, now I'm the devastated one?"
His face tightens " I… I know, and I'm so sorry, i lost myself in my own words, i just didn't have the guts to tell him, i didn't want him to think it's because I couldn't get over Mike.
She sights, long and heavy. " You are unbelievable" she murmurs, scratching her head " Jesus, I would really have to think my carer choice after this"
A flicker of relief crosse his face, hope building into his heart. " so, are you going to help me?
She started waling again. " i didn't sat that" going faster this time " But we will fix this tonight" she shoes through snow, looking over her shoulder. " Who know, we bight become theatre kids after this." Jane said, braking a smile that made them both burst laughing.
Will hurried after her, trying to catch her up, relaying the whole story, setting up the scene.
Carlton shots a glance at the clock, it's been thirty-five minutes. He blinks a few times and leaves of a quick sight, zoned out, he could barely pay any attention to the other side of the table.
His glance moves to the corner of the room where Mike and Lucas are having a conversation, but he's too far to hear.
Max and Dustin snaps him out of it and continue with their interrogation. unlike the other ones, they are adamant to find everything about him, he excused himself, got up and made his was around the corner to the restroom.
Lucas shifts his eyes back to Mike after making sure no one could hear him, then without hesitation he fires up.
" Did you knew about this ? " Tilting his head.
"Sort of…" Mike said, without looking up.
"sort of? what sort of means? You were there…."
Mikes shifts his weight, crossed his arms as his eyebrows arch slightly annoyed.. " Yeah, I was, somewhere… around"
Lucas leans against the table, placing both of his hands on the back of his head
" what does that even mean? "Having a hard time trying to make sense of Mike's words. "you have been like this the whole night. Moping, making comments, rolling your eyes, i swear it's exhausting just watching you ….act like a…"
Mike shifts again, arms still crossed but tighter this time. " I'm just… observing" he murmured.
"Observing, yeah, uh-hm" He paused. Dots connecting like a puzzle, until the realisation settle. "Jealous" he said quite, almost to himself.
Mike's eyebrow furrow "What?"
Lucas shoves Mike gently, but enough to unbalance "You are, aren't you?” getting closer to him lowering his voice. "You've been acting like this the whole night, all jealous since-"
Carlton pushes his way out of the restroom, drying his hands on his jeans, even if they were already dry, counting in his head again, how long it has been? How far is the walk, how late is too late?
…are, aren't you?
"You've been acting like this the whole night, all jealous since Will came back"
The steps stop.
Lucas drops the cards onto the table and it slides straight into the glass. The whole table burst into laugher.
"Oh my god Lucas, you are loosing the game and it didn't even started" Max said, collecting the card, taking the stand and doing it herself. Her eyes still scanning the table as Dustin is palming off one of the cards.
"Hey, I saw that! " Max burst.
Dustin smirked " I don't know what you are talking about." As he made his way back to the kitchen.
Max became utterly enraged " Yes you do, you’re che-"
The front door slams.
Wind slips into the room, lose cards scatter across the table. Everyone's eyes turn as Jane slams her boots to the ground. Will enters the room behind her, with hair still damp, snow flakes melting away down his face, he's brushing show of his sleeves, trying to regain control, as his heart seemed to come out his chest.
He moves his gaze to the quiet table quickly scanning it, seemingly confused.
"Damn" Dustin said, while placing a few drinks on the table, breaking the silence. "Dude. You were gone forever."
Mike straightens at the sight of Will, moving away his drink without looking, leaving an empty space besides his.
Dustin places a hand on the corner of the chair ready to sit before Mike’s hand moves, quick, placing the glass back into space, his foot gripping the chair.
He still doesn't look.
Dustin hesitates for a second, then let go of the chair, giving a confused look back at Mike.
Will lingers for a moment, almost hesitant, snow still melting of his hair, dripping on the floor, he scans the empty space, taking steps closer to it, he finally takes it.
Only then Mike breaths again.
The table remains quite, only the heater crepe-ling a faint sound. No one resumed the game, cards still scattered on the table.
Will could sense the change, but cannot quite put a name to it, he quickly lunged his hands to grab the cards, maybe the game could put everyone cack into the mood, he was not ready to discuss why he was gone so long and why is Jane still here if he claimed he would take her home.
Before he realised he was not the only one that had the same idea, both of their hands reach for a card, their fingers brushed, sending a feeling through his whole body, something he hast felt in many years, since Mike decided that touching his was too much for a friend.
Mike draws his hand back too quickly. Will eyes traces mike's hand, searching that feeling again, and only stopped when they meet Mike's. The room kept moving. They don't.
Will breaks it first, gathering the card, passing them around the table , their elbows brush—both jerk at the same time a moment too late. They lean away, yet their shoulders never separated.
Not by accident… not anymore.
"Will?" Carlton voice breaks between his thoughts, that’s how he always finds himself, lost in his thoughts anytime he has Mike near.
He blinks, for a moment he doesn't move. Then his gaze traced the sudden touch, snapping him back to the reality he’s in. Carlton's hand almost mashing with his. Will eyes lingering on their hands before quickly glanced back.
"You are up" Carlton said, nudging the cards.
Will gathered his cards quickly, he passed the first one along. Only then he glanced back again.
But not at Carlton.
At Mike, meeting him halfway, Just for a second before he moves his eyes back to the table.
Mike doesn't.
Not immediately.
Mike’s fingers tightened around the corners of his cards, gaze dropped slowly, almost afraid that the movement might be heard, Slowly tracing Will face, he never moved, never shifted hid gaze, Will could still see it, from the corner of his eye, he’s still observing Mike, Just inches apart, he breathed as much of their shared air as he could, breathing in, breathing him.
Will shifts to get another card, Mike moves before even thinking. "Here-" His hand reached for the deck before Will does. A second later, he cleared his throat, pretending to study his cards, sliding the card towards Will’s side of the table— no reason for it, but a gesture that caught Will's eye.
A moment later he adjusted the pile again, dragging it closer to Will, so he doesn't need to reach for them anymore. A little too attentive.
Dustin calls out for Lucas attention, seemingly distracted by the whole silent ordeal.
Will dropped a card. Mike reached for it instantly.
Their hand meet this time, he didn't let it go immediately, not long enough to be obvious.
But long enough to be felt.
Carlton laughed at something Dustin said, he didn't know why he laughed, his eyes were not on Dustin, they were shifting between Will's ands and his eyes, that were still glaring at the same place Mike just let go.
Will pulled it back slowly, placing it under the table, he never fully looked up, not enough to lock their eyes.
Carlton still smiled, but it was thinner now, a play pretend he had to do.
Across from him Mike leans closer to Will, Carlton was no longer looking at his cards. He wasn't even pretending to anymore.
“All jealous since Will came back.”
Carlton eyes studied their interaction…Will bumps his shoulder into Mike’s and just leaves it there, right against Mike’s. He never looked up.
Carlton’s eyes move to Lucas “You never even notice you're doing it.”
"—All jealous since Will came back"
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb, you've been watching him the whole night"
"I'm not watching him"
"Oh my god, you don't even notice you're doing it, you been acting up the whole night, and don't even pretend it's about the boyfriend. It's about Will, About you never taking a chance, almost, running out of time."
"I never thought he would bring someone"
"Then do something! Are you just going to stand around and watch ?"
"I can’t just walk up and say something after this many months"
"Then don't! Start small.”
"Lucas.."
"No, Listen. You talk to him. Alone. Remind him of who you are to him. Get close to him again. You two don't just disappear because 'SOME GUY' showed up.”
Silence
"And…what if he's happy now?”
"Then you would know, and you tried everything you could, because right now, you are giving him away just like that."
Mike exhales.." I just don't want to hurt him"
"You already are, can't you see? Both of you are, but right now you are the one that has to put in the work. He waited for you, you fumbled. You have to fix it. So you either put in the work or let him go for good"
A long pause lingers.
"…I just need a chance to talk to him. Just once. Just us two. But I never seem to get the right time."
"Then we make one"
"We?"
"Yeah, you get back there, when Will comes back, you become the way you were. No more moping, no more crying and rolling around. You have to show him you care. He has to trust you again to want to talk to you."
" Okey, and then"
"And then, I keep everyone busy, and you get him outside, and this time you tell him everything. No holding back? " He squeezed his shoulder.
"No holding back"
"…Okey"
A chair scrapes the hardwood floor, bringing Carlton back to the situation, he’s standing still, but his attention is still on Lucas.
Max drops another card, but this time no one reacted.
Dustin looked around the table. "Well.. this is depressing."
Lucas exhale, leaning against the table. "Yeah, the vibe kind of died" He started to pick up the cards quickly. "Okey, let's play teams this time. it might be more fun. Mike and Will, you two—" Mike looked up. understanding the assignment.
Will is still frozen.
Carlton clocks it, He placed his hand over the deck before Lucas could."I don't know how you guys do things around here, but…" He gently pulled the cards closer to him, locking them away from the other. "This looks Painfully boring" Letting out a playful smile.
Max and Dustin burst into a soft laugh. " Well is not like i didn't call it." Dustin said, placing his pals to the back of his neck, tilting his chair back.
Lucas quietly sat back in his seat, his eyes quietly drifted to Mike, their eyes met. Lucas raised his shoulder apologetic. He looked away, leaving Mike with it.
" Maybe… we could do something fun? " Carlton said.
"Like what? " Dustin shifted in his chair.
"i don't know, maybe truth or dare? " He laugh.
Max raised a brow "Truth or dare? What are we, twelve?
Both Dustin and Carlton let out a laugh. "C'mon, there are like ten years of history at this table " He tilts his head slightly, glancing around. "Everyone knows each other except me." He smiled lightly. "Let the new guy catch up".
Dusting slams his palms into the table. " Right, then is settled. But no middle school question." As he's getting up to the kitchen to get more drinks.
" And let's make it just truths. ain't kissing any of you." Max said, following Dustin to the kitchen.
The Room settles again, smaller this time. Chairs scratching the floor as they pulled them closer together. The heater hum fills in the silence Dustin and Max left behind.
Will and Mike are closer than before, but this time Carlton is facing them, straight across the table.
The silent tension lingers. Mike Never lifted his eyes. And neither did Will.
Will’s fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, seemingly worried, if he doesn’t know his friends any better, one of them is going to say something remotely close to the truth, and anything about his past feeling about Mike seems detrimental to his new relationship. For a brief second, Will lifts his gaze to meet Carlton, and shared a tiny smile.
Jane gets up, she shifts her chair closer to Lucas, sitting down slowly, but she isn't watching the table… she is watching Will, they both been quiet since their conversation, but in this case is no way to assure Will without everyone else noticing.
Lucas leans back into his chair, tipping it on the back legs, swinging a little, he taps his fingers onto the table, but he stops as the sound seems too loud. He fixed his posture back into the chair, avoiding any other movement.
No one said anything, they haven't split into teams, but the room feels awfully divided, Jane and Lucas know the truth, they might not share the enlightenment but they are the point focus of the two boys, each having a silent conversation with the trusted one.
Dustin's and Max's voices still echoing faintly from the kitchen, mostly unbothered, unfazed by whatever happens in the other room, not until they make their way back into the living room, placing drinks in front of each one of them, slowly breaking them from they silent thoughts, then taking their places at the table.
Lucas is the first to brake the silence "Alright, I'll start. Wheeler— worst lie you ever told your mom"
Mike got caught by surprise but quickly regained his focus "Um—" he laughs a little. " Maybe when I said that my nana was very sick, to be alone ‘with my feelings’ “ He shoot a look at Jane "You know, cause of Hopp" he laughs again.
Jane arch a brow, Max looks at her, Then both look back at Mike.
His smile slowly fades " —Ha… yeah, not funny" He drops his gaze back to the table, regretting his choices.
Everyone else starts laughing, Some little with him. Mostly at him. A few second past without anyone following. Carlton leans forward a little, resting his elbow on the table. " So, how this works? Do e pick the next person, or ? "
Dustin shrugs. " Yeah i guess, just pick whoever" He gave a playful push, smiling at each other.
"Alright, easiest one" he never picked someone, rather addressed the whole group "Who here starts arguments over nothing"
Lucas points at Max. Max scuffs. "You're the one that started crying over loosing a board game, i hardly call THAT nothing"
Dustin burst out laughing.
Jane relaxed into her chair, joining into the laughter.
Even Will laughed faintly.
Mike gaze lifted, carefully watching Will laugh. The corner oh his mouth slightly curved, settling in a pleased smile. He hasn’t heard Will laugh in such a long time. His smile catches Will’s eyes, then locking onto his gaze, just fore a moment before snapping back to the group.
Carlton notices that. nothing obvious, just a sudden shift in his eyes. Carlton taps the table a few times. "okey. Who apologises first in a fight?
A brief pause settled. Max shrugs "It depends really, we have this rule in our group, that we sort every argument rather quickly. You know… if it’s a stupid argument”
Dustin pointed at Lucas and Max. "There tow stop talking for day when they fight." Max head snaps to Dustin “ hey look, is not the same okey? We have a relationship” she gestured between her and Lucas.
Lucas immediately retaliated "So does this two" pointing between Will and Mike “And they don’t even have a relationship per-say” making both Mike’s and Will’s head to snap upwards, sharing an embarrassed look.
Carlton’s gaze shifts between Mike and Will. He remained silent this time.
"I guess, we all pretty shitty at times, huh? Dustin lets out a laugh, easing the mood.
Will smiles.
Mike drops his gaze again.
"Longer any of you didn't talk"
Max answered quickly.
" A week! "
Lucas nods again.
Silence settled once again, because everyone knows that's not the real truth.
Will shifts in his seat. Mike's fingers tightens slightly against the table.
Carlton waits long enough to make the silence noticeable, he leans back into his chair. Gave shifting between Mike and Lucas. "Funny… everyone is saying a week " He shifts his eyes between Mike and Will. " But you two went months." His tone rather interrogatory, than amusing, Will raised his eyes, curious in Carlton sudden shift.
His eyes fixed on Mike. "Mike-" Carlton said suddenly before anyone had time to register the shift “Have you ever planned a conversation with someone before they knew they were part of it?”
A few confused looks around the table. Everyone turning to Carlton, But not Will. Wills eyes are fixed on Mike, Mike doesn’t react. Giving a pleading look to Will for a moment, almost like he knows what is about to happen.
Carlton glances toward Lucas. “Like… keeping people busy so you can get Will alone, making him fall for you or something?.” He glared back to Mike “Do you play lots of bets around here?”
Will’s eyes move between them. "You planned this ? " Lucas glanced back a Mike for a moment, before his lips parted but quickly shut.
Mike didn't look back at Will again, his gave fixated on a spot between the wall and Lucas's apologising eyes.
And he understands….A small breath left him — not quite a laugh. “Right.”
Mike gaze finally dared to go back to Will. “Will, I—”
“No. Don't fix it" His voice is steady, but tight. “Tonight wasn’t the first chance to talk to me" He gets of the chair and starts walking slowly towards the hallway . "just the first one you liked.” as he turns to face Mike.
The room goes quiet, Lucas looks down at the table. Mike opens his mouth, but nothing comes out fast enough.
Will nods once, more to himself than anyone else. “You don’t talk to me. Not once the whole night. Then I walk in and suddenly there's laugher, small talk, and games. You’re being touchy and attentive” He gestured around the table. " A whole situation."
Mike quickly left his chair behind and stepped towards the hallway, not close enough, but enough to close the gap between them . “I just wanted to talk—”
“Not like this!" Will cuts in, not loud, just sharp, taking a step forward, closing the gap even more. “You don’t get to set it up first.”
Carlton got up too, quickly making his way to the side of Will, seemingly confused now, not sure if he actually accomplished what ever he thought he would, but Will barely notices.
His eyes still fixed on Mike.
“I thought maybe we didn’t know how to be around each other anymore, since we haven’t spoke in such a long time.” He took a deep breath, forcing to keep his tears from coming out. “Turns out you already decided how it was supposed to go, and just waited to place your bets.”
Mike’s voice dropped, his eyes searching for something in his head . “That’s not—”
“You don’t want a conversation.” Will cut Mike once again, he shakes his head slightly. “You wanted the right outcome.”
Mike froze, nothing he would say now, could fix the hurt in Will's heart.
Will let out a shaky breath, Quieter now…. As the hurt finally settled. “You don’t get to pick when I'm ready to talk to you, Mike” He took a step backwards, finally turning his back “You only remember me when I start forgetting you.”
Mike flinches, still following him.
Will stops in his tracks, not turning just before grabbing his coat, making Mike stumble onto his feet, not close enough to touch but enough to make him the only one that hears Will anymore."Next time you want something from me… Don't make it a joke." His tone settled, not angry anymore. Just… done.
As he aproched the door. He paused and turned one last time. "I'm not twelve anymore, Mike. I'm not pushing myself around, to vail your feelings".
Carlton hesitates , looking between them, then follows.
The door shuts.
And Mike doesn’t move…because he knows running after him now would only prove Will right.