Chapter Text
“I want someone on duty around the clock,” Bourbaki practically snarled.
He was pacing around Tyler’s kitchen like a man possessed, his suit uncharacteristically wrinkled and his hair all askew. He’d shown up around five AM that morning, as soon as he’d heard about what happened.
The message sat on the kitchen island, some of the letters peeling off, the stick of whatever cheap adhesive that was used already wearing off. Even still, the message made Josh strangely anxious. He kept glancing out of the glass windows, cursing whoever decided that rich people should fill their homes with floor-to-ceiling windows. Sure, it was great at letting in natural light, but now all he could think about were all the vantage points it allowed an outsider to look into the house with.
“One of your team will be here at all hours,” Bourbaki continued his rant. “You can stay in one of the guest rooms, but I want you all to know exactly where Clancy is at all times.”
A flash of annoyance cut through the paranoia. Who was Bourbaki to offer up Tyler’s rooms to them? It was the smart thing to do, sure, but Bourbaki had no control over if Tyler was willing to have them stay with him. Tyler’s words about people trying to control him came to mind. The annoyance only doubled at that.
But Tyler didn’t argue, so neither did Josh.
Speaking of Tyler, he was strikingly quiet. It seemed to be a pattern of behavior whenever Bourbaki was around. Josh had seen a glimpse of the passionate, angry man beneath the Clancy mask, but just as he was beginning to strip away the first few layers, here came the manager to replace them. But what wasn’t showing on his face was obvious in other parts – his hands were shaking almost violently, even as he wrung them together to try and still them.
“We’ll be happy to do that,” Josh said as Bourbaki’s instructions came to an end. “Anything to keep Clancy safe.”
Finally, Tyler lifted his eyes and met Josh’s. Josh found himself stopping in his tracks, suddenly captivated by those dark brown eyes. He was always surprised by just how much emotion Tyler could hold in them, even as his face remained blank. Fear and resignation battled for space, but beyond them was a light that Josh had seen before.
As Bourbaki launched into yet another rant about safety and crazy fans, Josh offered a small smile to Tyler. It was barely more than a quick upturn of his lips, but he wanted to reassure the pop star that nothing would happen to him. He was rewarded with much of the same from Tyler – not a full smile, but something that might become one, if given time.
It took a good few minutes for Bourbaki to calm down. He smoothed down the front of his suit jacket and took a deep breath, cheeks flushed with anger.
“I have to get back to the office,” he said. “We will be working very closely with the police to make sure this…felon doesn’t get any closer than they already have.”
Josh bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything. As if the record label would be doing anything. It would be his team doing most of the work.
As soon as Bourbaki left, Josh found himself wishing he would come back just to break the tension that settled over the kitchen. Tyler sat silent, staring at the counter as if he could set it on fire. His fingers traced a pattern into the marble, like he was writing lyrics into the stone.
Josh stood quietly, not wanting to startle or upset him. He took the moment to admire Tyler without him noticing. His eyes traced down the slope of Tyler’s nose, the way his eyelashes fluttered against his skin when he blinked, the faint freckles on the apples of his cheek. Without the makeup and painted smile, Tyler looked smaller, more vulnerable, but also more grounded in reality.
Then Tyler blinked and looked over at him and Josh slammed all of his emotions back into the box in the back of his brain labelled “professionalism”.
“I should show you around the house,” Tyler said. His voice was quiet, and even as he looked at Josh he avoided eye contact. “So you know where everything is.”
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Josh said. “If you’re not comfortable we can work something else out. I’ll talk to Bourbaki-”
“No,” Tyler cut him off, looking almost as surprised as Josh at the interruption. “It's okay. I don’t mind.”
“It should be your decision, Tyler,” Josh said.
Tyler smiled again, only a small tug of the lips but more genuine than any Josh had seen from him before. “Trying to compensate for last night?” He said teasingly.
“I-I’m not-”
“Relax,” Tyler said with a little giggle. “You’re cute when you’re caught off guard.”
Josh fought to keep the flush off of his face. “Why don’t you just show me around the house.”
Tyler pushed himself up and away from the counter, stretching just enough to let his shirt ride up a bit, showing off his midriff. Josh looked away, blatantly ignoring the reminder of the scene he’d seen yesterday, where Tyler’s stomach had been on display.
For the most part, the house tour seemed fairly normal – that is, if normal was a giant mansion with five extra bedrooms.
“Who even needs all this space?” Josh muttered without thinking after Tyler brought him into the fifth bedroom bigger than his own.
“I forget they’re here most of the time,” Tyler said. “I think the only people who come in here are the cleaning service I hired to keep it from getting too dusty.”
“Why’d you get such a big house if you’re the only one who lives here?” Josh asked.
Tyler shrugged one shoulder. “Just kind of seemed like the thing to do, you know? Get famous, move to Los Angeles, get a mansion.” He kept his eyes trained on the bed, avoiding Josh’s gaze once again. “I kind of hoped my family would come and stay sometimes, but that hasn’t happened yet.”
Josh sensed there was something more to that, but he didn’t want to break the easy conversation they’d started. The last thing he needed was to push Tyler too far and break the minute trust he’d managed to build since yesterday night.
“And you’re fine with us kind of taking over these rooms?” He asked instead. He’d gotten Tyler’s permission multiple times over the tour, but he still felt like they were taking advantage of him in some way. The way Tyler bent to Bourbaki’s whims without any argument still rubbed him the wrong way, and Josh didn’t want to be anything similar to that man.
“Josh,” Tyler said. “I said it was fine already. You don’t need to treat me like I’m made of glass. Besides, like I said, no one’s using these anyway.”
Josh pushed the uncomfortableness down and nodded. He was sure his face was at least a little twisted up, though he fought to keep it as straight as possible. He’d never been the best at hiding his emotions.
“So, why the red hair?” Tyler asked, watching him carefully. “Not the most professional color.”
Josh frowned, the distraction working on him immediately. “I just like it. I can do my job just as well with or without it. And I could ask the same thing about the pink.”
Tyler raised his hands in surrender, a teasing smile spreading across his face. “Woah, relax, it was just a question, hotshot. Can’t a guy get to know the man he’s letting stay in his house for who knows how long?”
Josh ran a hand down his face and forced himself to relax. “Sorry. Just, in the past people have been kind of shitty about it. I didn’t mean to attack you about it.”
“‘S fine,” Tyler said. His smile shifted into something more rueful. “People have been shitty about my hair too, you know? Pink isn’t exactly the most masculine color.”
It wasn’t a concept Josh was unfamiliar with. While he’d dyed his hair a whole array of colors, he usually found himself going back to red. It was fine when he had enough money to do the upkeep required, but he’d had to let it fade out of his hair in the past, turning a desaturated pink. People did not always appreciate the idea of their muscle with a head of pink.
“At least you’re a pop star,” Josh said. “You have to be over the top for the job. Some people want their security to be seen and not heard, and bright red can be a bit loud.”
“Well, I don’t mind,” Tyler said. He reached up to ruffle Josh’s hair, a move so unexpected that Josh didn’t even register it until Tyler’s hand was already gone again. The sensation of the touch lingered, though, like an electrical shock that started at the crown of his head and travelled down to where his feet met the ground. “I can’t even imagine you without the red. If you ever decide to switch let me know, okay? Just so I have time to prepare.”
“Yeah, sure,” Josh managed.
Tyler led the way out of the guest bedroom to the last two doors in the hallway. “This one’s my room,” he said, pointing to one of the doors. He didn’t make a move to open the door, just shifted back and forth on his feet, eyes flickering from Josh to the floor. He clearly didn’t want Josh to look inside, but was scared of his reaction.
Josh got it. Tyler was already being hospitable enough by letting basically strangers stay in his house, letting them into his most private room was probably a step too far. “Good to know,” he said. “What about this other door? Closet?”
Immediately Tyler’s wariness melted away. His eyes scrunched up from the force of the smile he now sported. “Not a closet. This is my personal recording studio,” Tyler said, opening the door right across from his room. “I’ll probably be in here most of the time, so you know where to find me.”
The recording studio was absolutely gorgeous. It was smaller than the other rooms and full of every kind of instrument possible. Ukuleles, guitars, and basses hung from hooks on the walls, keyboards and synthesizers decorated the various tables, and there were more types of microphones than Josh even knew existed. A pile of notebooks and loose paper covered another table, all covered in scribbled lyrics in pen, pencil, sharpie, presumably whatever Tyler had on hand when inspiration struck. It was messy, but the organized chaos spoke to a genuine passion for the art.
“You play ukulele?” Josh asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it in your songs.”
“Ukuleles don’t really go over well with the general pop audience.” Tyler cocked his head to the side, eyes studying Josh. “You don’t seem like the type that would listen to my kind of music.”
“I’m not usually,” Josh admitted. “But I liked your album. The lyrics, mostly.”
“Those are my favorite parts to write,” Tyler said, smiling. “The melodies are the easy part. It’s getting the emotions into the words that’s the hard part.”
“What do you mean?”
“Anyone can write a poem that rhymes,” Tyler said. “But you have to do more than that for the song to speak to somebody. You hear the lyrics and you recognize something of yourself in them.” Tyler moved his hands as he talked, but it wasn’t the anxious, frantic movements Josh had seen before. This was more energetic, like all the passion in his words couldn’t be contained to just his mouth.
Josh nodded along. What Tyler was saying resonated with him in a way he wasn’t expecting. He didn’t like to discriminate against genres because of stereotypes, but he had to admit that he’d believed some of the talk of pop music being vapid, party music with no underlying meaning. But Tyler’s music, at least, seemed to have more thought put into it than even some songs in other genres Josh listened to.
“You should put that in a song,” he said.
Tyler laughed. It was almost musical in the way it rang through the room. The acoustics in the recording studio really were phenomenal. “Maybe I will,” he said.
Silence fell, but it wasn’t as awkward as the silence from earlier. Something had shifted between them, a new understanding easing the tension that had been building since last night.Tyler had moved to Josh’s side, watching him take in the room with a softer expression than Josh had seen from him before. Their eyes kept meeting, only in short flashes, but always drawn back to each other like a magnet.
“I can show you downstairs now,” Tyler said, breaking the silence. Still, he was quiet, like he didn’t want to mess up the peaceful atmosphere.
“Yeah, sounds good,” Josh said, equally as quiet.
It happened in the hallway, just before the stairs. Tyler’s socked foot caught on a patch of the thick carpet and he pitched forwards, head on a direct path to the first step. Josh acted on instinct, arms reaching out immediately to grab Tyler, leaving them in a position not unlike a ballroom dancing dip. Tyler’s wide eyes stared up at Josh, adrenaline and fear brightening them in the dim light. Josh stared back, impressed at his own reaction time, his heart still racing as he realized just how bad it would have been if Tyler had fallen down the stairs.
The only sound for a good few seconds was their breaths, both just as ragged as the other’s. Josh’s heart had only just started slowing down when Tyler’s dark eyes slipped down to catch on his lips, before immediately flashing back up.
Almost on instinct, Josh followed suit. Tyler’s lips were pink and plump, open slightly to let out the panting breaths that should not have sent a thrill down Josh’s spine. For a minute he indulged in the emotions that flooded his system, letting himself lean forwards. Too close, just past the safe distance he’d kept himself at since seeing Tyler with the man at the party.
Tyler leaned in too, lips parting more as his eyes moved down to Josh’s lips again.
A whimper escaped him as Josh adjusted his grip slightly, and suddenly the moment was broken. Josh pulled himself back over the safe line he’d drawn in his own head, suddenly all too aware of how close he was to messing everything up. The “professionalism” box had broken open, letting out all the unsightly emotions that he couldn’t let take over.
Josh helped Tyler to his feet, letting go as soon as he was sure Tyler was fully balanced. He folded his hands behind his back, as if to discourage the temptation that had taken hold of them.
“You should show me downstairs now,” Josh said, making his voice as hard and unapproachable as possible.
Tyler stared, something hurt in his expression, but he walled it off quickly. A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he still managed to pull a smile, though it faded almost as soon as it appeared. “Yeah. Okay, let’s go downstairs.”
He led the way carefully, lifting his feet above the carpet so he wouldn’t trip again. It was far too endearing, and Josh had to look away before he started smiling.
Things had started moving at a pace Josh couldn’t allow. He couldn’t let the emotions of himself and Tyler come before Tyler’s safety. Even if it hurt them both. Even if the little spark of something that could have grown far bigger had to be snuffed out.
Josh followed Tyler, bundling himself back into the stoic security guard role he had to play, ignoring how much he wished they could ever be more.