Chapter Text
Actual vampire! Stiles AU starring:
A Very-much-not-mysterious-but-still-bloodthirsty Edward Stiles and A Reluctant Bella Derek
An Oblivious Edward Stiles and a Broody Bella Derek
Sparkly vampire Stiles and Definitely Not A Delicate Human Derek
(I am not a Mary Sue Stiles. STILES.)
A Totally Normal Dude Vampire Edward Stiles and a Tragic Backstory Bella Derek
A Decidedly Ungraceful Edward Cullen Stiles and a Very Angsty Bella Swan Derek
Fishbelly white Vampire Stiles and Tanned Werewolf Derek
Derek is Not Isabella Swan, Stiles
I am not a Sparkly Vampire Scott
Vampires do Not Sparkle, Scott
Derek is too broody to be Bella, Stiles
I Do Not Have Mad Telepathy Skills, Scott
-Stiles
Dad please stop laughing
-Stiles
Erica stop howling and help me!
-Derek
We are not Edward and Bella!
-Stiles&Derek, circa 2012
Aren't vampires supposed to be cool? I am not cool Scotty, and that is a tragedy of the highest order
-Stiles
I would have looked amazing in sparkles
-Stiles
Shut up Stiles
-Derek
Bella would have never done this to me!
-Stiles
At least Edward was definitely a twink
-Lydia
I am not a twink! (Stiles)
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA HELP I'M DYING-
-Erica, Jackson, and Sheriff Stilinkski
Well that is certainly...unusual
- Alan Deaton
I must say I haven't seen anything like it before. Fascinating.
- Alan Deaton
Can you help us or not. (Derek)
Yup, that's me, your friendly neighborhood vampire
-Stiles
Why are you looking at me like that? (Lots of flailing commences)
I can totally be Edward Cullen! I'm gonna Edward Cullen so hard you're gonna regret doubting me!
-Stiles
I already regret everything - Derek
