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English
Series:
Part 1 of my feral plot bunnies, Part 1 of Teen Wolf
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Published:
2026-01-22
Updated:
2026-03-31
Words:
1,713
Chapters:
4/?
Comments:
1
Kudos:
15
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419

Feral Plot Bunnies: Teen Wolf Edition

Chapter 4: Derek makes a terrible Bella Swan

Summary:

Derek makes a terrible Bella Swan.

Stiles as Edward Cullen is not just worse, but insulting.

aka:

Teen Wolf but make it Twilight

Notes:

Crack. This is just pure crack.

Chapter Text


Actual vampire! Stiles AU starring:


A Very-much-not-mysterious-but-still-bloodthirsty Edward Stiles and A Reluctant Bella Derek


An Oblivious Edward Stiles and a Broody Bella Derek

 

Sparkly vampire Stiles and Definitely Not A Delicate Human Derek

(I am not a Mary Sue Stiles. STILES.)

 

A Totally Normal Dude Vampire Edward Stiles and a Tragic Backstory Bella Derek


A Decidedly Ungraceful Edward Cullen Stiles and a Very Angsty Bella Swan Derek


Fishbelly white Vampire Stiles and Tanned Werewolf Derek


Derek is Not Isabella Swan, Stiles


I am not a Sparkly Vampire Scott

 

Vampires do Not Sparkle, Scott

 

Derek is too broody to be Bella, Stiles


I Do Not Have Mad Telepathy Skills, Scott 
-Stiles


Dad please stop laughing
-Stiles

 

Erica stop howling and help me! 
-Derek

 

We are not Edward and Bella!
-Stiles&Derek, circa 2012

 

Aren't vampires supposed to be cool? I am not cool Scotty, and that is a tragedy of the highest order
-Stiles


I would have looked amazing in sparkles
-Stiles


Shut up Stiles
-Derek


Bella would have never done this to me! 
-Stiles


At least Edward was definitely a twink 
-Lydia


I am not a twink! (Stiles)


AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA HELP I'M DYING-
-Erica, Jackson, and Sheriff Stilinkski


Well that is certainly...unusual
- Alan Deaton


I must say I haven't seen anything like it before. Fascinating.
- Alan Deaton


Can you help us or not. (Derek) 

 

 

Yup, that's me, your friendly neighborhood vampire
-Stiles


Why are you looking at me like that? (Lots of flailing commences)

I can totally be Edward Cullen! I'm gonna Edward Cullen so hard you're gonna regret doubting me! 
-Stiles

I already regret everything - Derek 

 

 

Notes:

I WILL be writing more in this work. I just have some days where I obsessively type for half a dozen hours and other days where I don't write at all. Curse my ADHD brain!
Every kudos or comment will give the Sheriff one less meatlovers pizza (and Stiles' eternal gratitude) :D
Tumblr is

klutz_w_words

Hope you liked reading!

-sai

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