Chapter Text
“Will you stop giggling? It’s highly inappropriate!”
Dean ducks his head even further, but he’s too tall to really hide behind the pew. “Sorry” he stutters, still vibrating and wheezing like an asthmatic old man.
“Dean … be quiet!” Castiel hisses again—looking up soon after with apologetic eyes to the people sitting in front of them.
But Dean just can’t help himself. This is all too unreal. “She actually did it though!” he strangles out, not understanding how this cosmic joke isn’t hilarious to his now, very annoyed husband.
“Yes, she did—which is why it is so wrong that you’re laughing about it.”
“But the old bag did it! She died! She actually up and died!” Dean lets one more round of stifled laughter spurt past his lips before slapping his hand across his mouth; but over half the church is already turning around to glare him down.
“Dadday?”
Dean chuckles for a few more seconds but quickly clears his throat, trying to compose himself before he looks down into his daughter’s curious eyes. “Yes, Sugarplum?”
Lilly Beth pulls her small hand to her hip—dark skin singing beautifully against the white frills of her dress. She gives him a stern look—something that she obviously learned from Cas over the years. “Don’ call me Sugahplum!” she whines, and it makes Dean start to giggle all over again.
He clears his throat a second time and nods, swiftly pushing his finger to his lips, shushing her while reminding himself to do the same. “Sorry, Baby Girl … what did you want to ask me?”
The child’s dark brown eyes soften and round with the memory of her question. “I thought ya say Mrs. Mason was a nice ladeh—but you don’ soun like ya like her ver much.”
His shoulders sink and his chest expands, filling with love and amazement for his tiny, little miracle. Her sweet face and thick Alabama accent melt him every single time she speaks, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop melting—not until he’s nothing more than a puddle on the floor. It’s what made them adopt her in the first place.
They had talked about adopting a child for a couple of years, but they never pulled the trigger— either Dean didn’t feel like he was ready, or Cas wasn’t sure if they could afford to really give a child everything they might need; but when a business transaction pulled Dean down south to Alabama, that all changed. The auto shop that he was dealing with just happened to be right next door to an orphanage. It didn’t really catch his attention at first, but just as he was about to leave, Dean saw an adorable little, three year old girl, helping an old woman bring groceries into the building—talking a mile a minute about everything under the sun. Dean felt like it was a sign. Something in him seemed to light up—he could never explain it, even if he knew every word of every language in the world, it would be impossible for him to describe how his heart opened up that day. Thankfully, Castiel knew him well enough to know that when Dean is speechless, it must be over something important. So he and Cas went back to Alabama and met with the orphanage manager, Ms. Constance Able—a sweet, grandmotherly type with such a thick drawl, that they could barely understand her. She had raised babies in that place for the last forty five years—focusing on infants who either lost their parents during birth, or were abandoned shortly thereafter. Lilly Beth was the latter, being that she was left at the alter of a church in the middle of the night … only just four days old. Her mother was rumored to have been too young to take care of even herself, none the less—a child; but no one could be certain. It broke the men’s hearts to think of that beautiful baby being left all alone; but thankfully, Ms. Able gave her so much love, Lilly barely knew that she didn’t have any real parents.
Dean and Cas met Lilly Beth that very same evening—and ever since, Dean has been wrapped around that girl’s tiny, tiny finger … and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dean grins, hardly able to believe that it’s already been three years since they brought her into their home. She’s gotten so big and so much more beautiful, it kind of breaks his heart; so he bends at the knees before quickly scooping the six year old into his arms, holding her close and hugging her tight, while she’s still small enough to do so. “I did like Mrs. Mason, baby. I did … she just was … well, you see … Mrs. Mason, was nice but in a rough kind of way. Ya know, like when Papa helps you with your homework? He’s nice about it, but he’s still very serious.”
“Oh—so, she wa’ like Pa?”
“Well … not really. She was just … very different from anyone I have ever met before. I dunno, she’s hard to describe.” With child appropriate terms, Dean thinks simultaneously, and judging by the half-smile he sees Castiel wearing, the man is thinking the same thing.
“Mrs. Mason ...” Cas begins, interjecting with a whisper—he leans in close but still keeps his eyes on the priest up front, “was a very smart, loyal and respectable woman. She acted like everyone’s grandmother, while also acting like their boss … and even though she may not have always been the most warm or welcoming, she always helped those in need. She was a wonderful example to anyone who met her. I know I will miss her dearly.”
“You knew the ladeh too, Pa?”
Castiel finally tears his eyes away from the front of the church, turning instead to the little angel in Dean's arms. “Yes I did, Lil-Beth. She was actually my nanny. She knew me since I was as young as you are now.”
“Realleh?” Lilly asks, engulfed in an innocent wonder.
“Yeah … hard to believe your Papa was ever that young, huh?” Dean chuckles, tickling the girl’s ribs while giving Castiel a wink.
Lilly laughs, but she knows better than to agree with her daddy when he’s obviously looking for trouble. Smart, lil’ thing.
Castiel glares at Dean but just rolls his eyes, eventually placing all his attention once more on the priest and his kind words about Maggie Mason.
“Magdalen Audrey Mason was a pillar of this community. Her presence here was a staple—and all who lived here or still do live here, know her name. As I look out over all of you now, it is obvious the impact that she has had on the good people of Huntsville, because every one of you are here today to pay your respects. Only a woman of great faith and great conviction could draw such an impressive crowd upon her passing. She will be missed by each and every one of us, for we each have a special memory of this wonderful woman, and I ask you now to draw upon those memories as we bow our heads in a moment of silence. Let’s us think about and thank Maggie Mason for her time here on this earth, and for all the good and love she instilled in our hearts.”
The room stills and all goes quiet, except for the occasional coos and squeaks coming from two rows back—where Anna and Jeffery are currently bouncing a rambunctious baby boy.
Dean hangs his head, leaning it lightly against Lilly-Beth’s shoulder, as the girl takes note of the room and of her fathers before quickly following suit and closing her eyes too. Dean hugs her tighter. Such a good, little girl. Mrs. Mason would've loved her.
It’s a shame they never brought Lilly to Huntsville to meet Maggie—but the truth is, the last three years have been so busy, they barely got a chance to do anything other than work and take care of their daughter. They had moved to the small town of Waverly shortly before they got married, because it was exactly halfway between Huntsville and Dean's shop. They bought a modest house on a good stretch of land out there, and spent most of their days remodeling it until it was exactly what they wanted. They built on a large garage—big enough for the Impala, as well as Cas’s old Cadillac that he purchased so they could fix it up together. They spent their first year of marriage huddled up in that garage—sometimes fixing up the cars … sometimes bare naked and deep inside one other; either way … it was a bonding experience.
When they could manage to break away from their busy schedules, they traveled back to Lawrence to spend time with Sam and Jess, and little John—who wasn’t so little at all anymore. The twelve year old boy looked nearly sixteen, and he had no problem wrestling his uncle to the ground every time they’d play and rough-house. One time—the kid actually dislocated Dean’s shoulder. John felt awful about it and cried for a solid hour … because even though he looked big, he still had a child’s heart. Dean couldn’t be mad though … however, Jess and Sam could—at the both of them. Dean and John each got an earful about the proper ways to play. But it didn’t stop them … they’ll still wrestle and come close to breaking each other in two every time they stop in for a visit. Damn … Dean loves that kid.
But he settled down some as soon as Lilly Beth came into the picture—mainly because he had to. Dean and Cas’s days in the garage changed—going from the two of them getting down and dirty in every conceivable way, to the two of them teaching their little girl how to change a car’s oil, or how to identify all the signs of a coolant leak. She soon had her own set of coveralls, and now knows more about fixing engines than most licensed mechanics do. Cas is also teaching her how to play the piano, but Dean thinks his baby's heart truly lies in gears and axle grease.
And he couldn’t be prouder.
All that occupied a lot of time however, and It didn’t take long after they adopted Lilly for Castiel to leave Lew’s in the hands of Abigail, so that he could stay home with their daughter. As much as he loved that shop, he loves Lilly more … and traveling an hour each day into Huntsville was just too much of a hassle to keep up with. So Dean took over the breadwinning—driving back and forth to his shop, along that old stretch of highway that brought him and Cas together in the first place.
So with all the changes and commuting, and getting settled into their new, little life—the three didn’t have many reasons to go back to Huntsville, except to occasionally visit Anna and Jeffery. Usually however, they’d come to Dean and Cas’s house—because Anna said that theirs was too much of a mess for visitors. Jeffery is apparently, not very well kempt … and Castiel never passes up a moment to tease his neat-freak sister about it.
So all in all, visiting Castiel’s old nanny did cross their minds, but it kept getting pushed aside and pushed aside … until the day that Castiel got a call from his sister, letting him know that Mrs. Mason had passed away. He may not show it now, but the man was crushed, and Dean spent the following nights holding him close while he quietly cried himself to sleep. He wasn’t sure if the tears were really for the old woman, or for everything she reminded him of—and Dean didn’t ask. Castiel may be a lot more open these days, and far more in touch with his emotions, but he still hates showing any sort of vulnerability, especially in front of Dean.
So Dean just holds him, and promises never to let go.
When the moment of silence is over, the priest asks everyone to come up to the casket to say their goodbyes; so Dean and Cas wave down Anna and Jeffery and ask them if they can watch Lilly when it’s their turn to go up. The couple agrees of course, but the two still look panicked with the idea of watching two children, since their little Levi is already such a handful. He’s only about a year old, but he’s stronger and more wily than a toddler.
Lucky for them, Lilly-Beth is the sweetest child to ever exist … although, Dean may be just a little bias, so she shouldn't add to their burden.
“What thing did ya think abou’ dadday?” Lilly asks, after a few minutes pass of them all quietly watching the rows stand up and file into the procession.
“Hm?” Dean responds, unsure of what his girl means, since he’s still fairly distracted by the glimpses he gets of the open casket through the crowd of people.
“When the man up front said everyone shoul’ think abou’ somthin’. Wha’ did ya and Pa think abou?”
Dean finally forces himself to break away, looking back on his daughter, amazed all over again that this thoughtful child is actually theirs. “Oh, well—I can’t speak for Papa, but I thought about the first time I met Mrs. Mason. She used to own a small hotel, and I got a room there the night that me and Papa met each other.”
“Oh” Lilly says, wrapping her arms around Dean’s neck and pulling herself higher onto his hip. “Wa’ she nice to ya?”
Dean has to laugh. “Uh … she wasn’t necessarily nice … but, she was—professional. At least at first.”
“She didn’t like Daddy very much” Cas adds suddenly, as if that point needed to be clarified to their six year old.
“She didn’t need to know that!” Dean grumbles, turning Lilly away as he turns his head towards his husband and glares him down.
But Cas only shrugs and smiles smugly.
“Why didn’ she like ya?” Lilly Beth asks immediately … to no one’s surprise.
Dean groans, hesitating on the right words to use. “Well she … she didn’t really think that Papa and I should … she didn’t … she didn’t want us to date.”
“But why?” Lilly asks again, stretching out the end of her words like sticky, southern taffy.
“Because, sweetheart … Daddy was not the most charming man. At least … not back then” Cas jumps in once more, grinning even wider now.
“I charmed you!” Dean insists, but Castiel just gives him another shrug.
“I think you’re charmin’, Dadday. I bet she jus’ didn’ know no bettah.”
Dean bites his lips to keep himself from making some sort of embarrassing noise—choosing to hug his daughter closer, instead. He’s overwhelmed that she truly sees him like that: strong, charming, someone with all the answers. “Thank you, Sweet Pea.”
“Dadday! Don’ call meh Sweet Pea!”
Dean laughs and Cas does too. “Alright, Baby Cakes.”
“Dadday!” she whines again, pulling her arms away so that she can stretch them out towards Castiel, wanting him to do something about this horrible injustice. “Papa—tell ‘im to stop!”
“Sorry, Lil-Beth. I can’t get your Daddy to stop doing anything … he’s simply impossible.” Castiel laughs a moment more before reaching over to snatch the tiny thing from Dean’s arms.
Now it’s Dean’s turn to pout. “Aww, Baby Girl … you’re sidin’ with him?”
“He don’ call me silly names!” Lilly huffs, folding her arms across her chest as she turns up her nose at him.
“Well, can you blame me? You’re just the most beautiful, smart, and wonderful girl in the entire world! I can’t think of anything other than silly things, because you make my brain melt into jelly! It’s probably squirting outta my ears right now!” Dean leans over and turns his ear towards the girl. “See—look inside. It’s all Jam and mothballs in there!”
Lilly tries not to, but she’s soon giggling—covering up her mouth with baby fingers to stop the sound from escaping.
“It’s true … Daddy’s brain is a mess. It always has been, but when you came along, it all turned to mush” Cas confirms, punctuating the thought with a kiss on their daughter’s cheek.
“Gee—thanks, man” Dean laughs—now, folding his arms as Lilly erupts into even more giggles. “Tell me again why I married you?”
Castiel grins at him, causing all the wrinkles around his eyes to bunch togethr. The blue peeks out in warm, little bursts, and his grey hair shivers as he quietly chuckles; and even though the last six years show in every new line on his face, Castiel is still as beautiful as the day Dean met him. “Because you love me. I’m not sure why you love me, but you tell me every day, so—I suppose it has to be true.”
Dean shakes his head, but all his mock-frustration melts away with his urge to kiss the man. So he leans in and gives Castiel a peck on the corner of his mouth, lying his forehead against his immediately after—breathing him in as if he’s the only thing good enough to fill his lungs. “I do … I love you. I must be crazy, but I love you so much.”
“Dadday …” Lilly Beth drones, annoyed by her parents’ embarrassing mushiness, or by the fact that they’re no longer paying attention to her. Dean isn’t sure of which, but he doesn’t have time to figure it out because the people in their pew are starting to slip into the aisle.
“Sorry, Baby Girl … we have to go up to say our goodbyes to Mrs. Mason now. You run on back to Aunt Anna and Uncle Jeff. Help ‘em out with your cousin, okay?”
The little girl’s face instantly lights up, until she’s wriggling so hard that Cas is forced to put her down. She loves her cousin, Levi—and she never misses a chance to play with him and pretend like he’s her own, personal doll. Levi, on the other hand, is not always as thrilled to be man handled in such a way; but that never seems to faze Lilly in the least.
“Be gentle!” Cas calls out, because the girl bolts to the back pews as soon as her feet touch the ground.
The two men give each other some knowing looks, and each hold their breath as they wait for that baby’s inevitable cry. After two more seconds, an annoyed shriek bounces off of every corner of that vaulted ceiling, and Dean and Cas each redden with second hand embarrassment.
Dean hazards a peek back as they move into the procession line, watching Lilly hug Levi close and swing him back and forth—while the baby struggles helplessly in her arms. Anna watches the two carefully, but Jeffery just looks relieved that he no longer has to be the one wrangling in his son. Dean laughs. “Man … your poor sister.”
Castiel follows his gaze and then shrugs. “Well—she married a big baby, and then had a baby with him. She brought it upon herself.”
Dean muffles another laugh and then elbows his husband in the side. “Stop bein’ a jerk.”
Castiel just shrugs once more before shuffling forward, bringing them slightly closer to the casket.
Dean continues to chuckle until they’re both about ten feet away from the front of the church, and then all at once—the humor rushes from him like water from a busted hydrant.
They move a little closer.
His skin begins to dampen and his hands start to shake.
“She looks so different” Castiel whispers, when they’re only just a few people from their turn.
Dean bobs his head in agreement, but he can’t seem to speak anymore.
When it’s finally their time to look in on Mrs. Mason, lying in her silky white bed—eyes closed, dressed in a simple linin gown, with her rosary woven tightly between her folded hands, Dean feels his eyes begin to burn.
“Thank you for everything, Maggie. You were like another mother to me, and … I don’t know where I would be if you weren’t in my life.” Castiel’s voice is slightly choked, but he remains composed—he’s a master at that, and Dean envies him so much for it right now, he can hardly even breathe.
Castiel then steps aside, allowing for Dean to take his place. But when he looks down on that ancient, weathered woman—he finds, he can no longer breathe at all. She’s actually gone. It was funny before—because it was just so absurd that Dean was actually expecting her to pop right out of the casket and start lecturing him again; but she’s perfectly still. Her skin is sunken and a little too grey, even though she’s been covered with makeup to make her look livelier. Yet, even so, there’s just no denying it now—she is really and truly dead, and that impossible fact cuts Dean down at the knees.
“Dean?” Castiel whispers, tugging on his arm after they’ve been standing there for longer than the customary moment. “Dean, are you alright?”
Dean wants to nod, but lying right now in front of Mrs. Mason’s lifeless body seems just so wrong—so he doesn’t move, and he doesn’t utter a word.
“Dean?” Cas asks again, pulling at his jacket sleeve a little more in order to get him to walk away.
“I’m sorry” Dean garbles suddenly, surprising even himself, but he feels so overwhelmingly awful—he just can’t help it. “I’m … I’m so sorry, Maggie.” And with that he reaches into the casket and touches the old woman’s hand, giving it the lightest squeeze before letting go again and rushing past his husband—heading straight for the side door that leads outside.
Castiel follows him and soon, they’re both squinting against the morning sun and huffing in the muggy, summer air. “Dean … what’s the matter?”
Dean shakes his head and wipes at his eyes, turning away from Cas’s concern and propelling himself in circles as he tries to wrap his mind around what just happened in there. “I dunno, man … I just …”
His husband steps forward to stop Dean’s pacing—placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What is it?”
Dean looks down at their feet. “I … I dunno … she just … I can’t believe …”
“I know” Castiel offers, quickly pulling Dean into a hug.
But that only succeeds in making Dean breakdown completely. “She wasn’t ever supposed to die!”
“I know … I know we always said that; but realistically …”
“I know that she was gonna die at some point, Cas—I’m not an idiot” Dean grumbles through his tears, eventually pulling away so that he can wipe at his face again. And after a few more calming breaths, he puts his hands on his hips and looks back at the church. “It’s just … she was like … she was in our beginning, man. She was this mean, surly old pillar in the middle of everything. I didn’t realize how much … I just …”
“You didn’t realize how much she meant to you?”
Dean nods, feeling silly now that the words have been said aloud. After all, Mrs. Mason was a bitch to him 99.9% of the time, but in so many weird, roundabout ways—she was the reason they’re even together right now. She cared enough to tell Dean what he needed to hear all those years ago—she told him about Castiel’s history and why he was the way he was. She helped Dean understand; and even though it’d still be years before they got back together, Mrs. Mason’s role in the whole thing could not be denied. And now that she’s gone, it feels like a part of their story is gone with her; and Dean feels horrible for never having thanked her for all that she did for them. He missed his chance, and now he’ll never get it back.
“You know … she was at our wedding” Castiel says suddenly, shocking Dean right out of his pitty-spiral.
“What?”
“Mhm. She was there. She stood in the back and she left before the reception, but I saw her just before we said our vows.”
Dean wipes at his eyes so he can gawk at his husband. “But she … she never really gave us her blessing. She thought it was all a horrible sin or some bullshit.”
“Yes, well … I suppose she made an exception that day” Cas chuckles, reaching out to hold Dean’s hand—twining their fingers together and squeezing them tight. “I asked her about it the next time I saw her, and even though it took some time, she eventually said that she was happy for us. She just wanted to see me on my wedding day. Apparently she had always dreamed of it; although, I was marrying a woman in her dreams, but she said that you’d do in a pinch.”
Dean feels himself warm up again, and soon—he’s laughing louder than ever before, because that’s just such a Maggie Mason-thing to say. “Wow … I just … wow.”
“She liked you, Dean. Much to my surprise, she liked you and she liked the idea of us together. I imagine that she knew you liked her too.”
With a smile and an overwhelmed sigh, Dean nods. “I sure hope so … she was a good woman.”
“Yes, yes she was.”
“A stubborn woman.”
Castiel laughs. “That too.”
“A real pain in my ass at times.”
“Dean …”
“I still think she overcharged me every time I stayed at her inn.”
Castiel rolls his eyes before turning on his heels to head back into the church.
But that doesn’t stop Dean from continuing—trotting just behind to follow Cas inside. “And ya know, there was one time that the heater in my room didn’t work, and she never bothered to send anyone up to fix it. I called like three times! She probably wished I woulda froze to death!”
“Well, you should’ve just stayed with me, like I told you to do in the first place.”
“We were starting over, Cas! I didn’t want to rush things.”
But Castiel just laughs before taking Dean’s hand, leading them back down the center aisle of the church—both lighting up the second they see their daughter wave and call them over; both amazed that this is their life now. Both, silently thanking Mrs. Mason for the role that she played in getting them here.
Thanks, Maggie … thank you for everything.
- End -