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Seeing Through Amber Eyes

Chapter 5: A Feeling of Belonging

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

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Hermione ran back to Blaise’s side, and the four of them boarded the train. She waved back to her parents who were teary-eyed, still standing near the Weasley family. The four kids found a compartment and settled in. Hermione was happily chatting with Blaise, unaware of the glare Draco was directing at him, when two girls stopped by their compartment. It was Pansy and Daphne. It had to be. Daphne was beautiful, long blonde hair and stunning green eyes. She somehow looked older and more mature than the rest of the girls their age. Hermione always thought it would be impossible not to look awkward at nearly 12, but Daphne proved her wrong. Pansy was a little less intimidating, beauty wise at least. Her features could still use some growing into, but her pin-straight dark hair was cut short in a bob that somehow made her look stylish.

Without a greeting, Pansy slid the door open and plopped herself right next to Draco. Daphne sat across from her, next to Hermione and giggled at Pansy’s lack of subtly.

“Hello. Sure, Pans, we have extra space. Please make yourself comfortable.” Theo rolled his eyes.

“Thank you, Theodore. I always appreciate your invitations.” Pansy replied, ignoring the blatant sarcasm.

“Who are you?” Pansy directed to Hermione.

“Hermione Granger. It’s a pleasure.”

“I’m Daphne Greengrass and that's Pansy Parkinson. It’s nice to meet you Hermione.” Daphne cut in before Pansy could ask any more questions.

Hermione smiled and did her best to ignore the obvious closeness of the group, but it was hard not to feel like she didn’t belong. Blaise kept talking to her, and Daphne chimed into their conversation every once and awhile. It helped, but soon they were met with more visitors.

Two boys that each looked more like brick walls than eleven-year-olds were at their door.

“Sorry boys, as you can see, we’re full up. You’ll have to go back to wherever you were sitting before.”

Theo sent them away before they could even get a word out.

“Your dad still trying to get you to be friends with them?” Pansy directed to Draco.

“Yeah, but they’re just such...”

“Talented conversationalists?” Theo supplied, laughter crinkling his eyes.

That confirmed Hermione’s suspicions about the boys’ identities: Crabbe and Goyle. Before anything more could be said, they were interrupted again. This time by a slightly round, trembling boy.

“Have you seen a toad?” he asked the group.

Before anyone could say anything, Hermione got up.

“No, but I’ll help you look.”

She leaned back over the seat and whispered something to Blaise, who smiled and nodded. Draco looked confused and annoyed. Hermione shouldn’t need to help this loser with his lost pet. She should stay here with me and our friends. The thought struck Draco as she was already closing the door, too late for him to try to get her to stay.

Pansy made some comment about Hermione’s appearance that Draco never registered. He could only think about how Hermione had whispered in Blaise’s ear, but not his own. He wanted to know what she said, and before he knew what he was doing he interrupted whatever snide remark Pansy was making.

“What did she say to you?”

“I hardly think that’s your business. She would have said it louder if she wanted everyone to know. It was something between close friends, clearly.”

Blaise’s lips turned into a smirk, and his eyes gleamed with victory. His smug expression all but yelled “I know something you don’t know! HA! She trusts me more”. Draco tipped his hand by letting everyone see the anger on his face at Blaise’s reply. Who the hell was this girl? Pansy wanted to know. Theo was quick to jump in with something unrelated, and soon the moment passed. Blaise would never admit that Hermione had only said that she wanted to check on Harry.  

-

Neville was sweet, nervous, but sweet. She could see how he’d make an easy target for bullying, and she was determined to be his friend. They chatted as they looked for Treavor the toad, and Hermione learned more about Neville’s grandmother. She sounded like a badass lady. Hermione hopped to have the chance to meet her someday.

When they got to the compartment where Harry and Ron were seated, Hermione stopped in to stay a bit longer. She also encouraged Neville to sit for a bit too. Harry and Ron were elbow deep in sweets, and clearly more than a little giddy from the sugar. Harry was trying to explain Quidditch teams and the rules of the game to Hermione. Ron chimed in whenever Harry struggled. Hermione found that she still didn’t care for Quidditch. She couldn’t wrap her head around a sport where a team losing by 149 points could suddenly win if the snitch was caught, but she held her tongue after seeing the boys’ excitement.

She stayed a while with Harry and Ron, even after Neville left to continue the search for Treavor. They had moved on from Quidditch to the Hogwarts houses. Ron talked about how his whole family had been in Gryffindor, and Harry repeated what he had learned from Hagrid, that his parents had also been in that house. Ron was rather obvious about his negative feelings towards Slytherin, but Hermione once again held her tongue. Eventually, the train was close enough that it was time to change into her school robes and she went back to her cabin with the soon-to-be Slytherins.

The group paid her no mind when she got back to the compartment. Pansy and Daphne were talking about some new fashion thing that had recently become popular while Blaise shared what he knew from his time traveling. Draco was glaring at a very animated Theo who seemed entirely unbothered by Draco’s annoyed disposition. Hermione grabbed her stuff and ended up heading back to Harry and Ron after she was all changed.

-

Hagrid greeted the first years when the train arrived and got them all settled into the boats that would bring them to the castle. As they approached, she realized this was where the movies and descriptions from the books had fallen short. The castle had an ethereal beauty that she could not put into words. Even in the fast-approaching dusk, the building called to her. She understood why the OG Hermione had felt so at home here. They hadn’t even done any magic yet, and she already felt like she belonged. Her boat was quiet. Clearly, she wasn’t the only one stunned into silence, but she heard mummers of awe from students in other boats.

As they docked, the students started to line up. Hermione saw Neville carefully holding his toad. She was relieved that he found him. He looked a little less nervous, and the idea of an emotional support toad made Hermione quietly giggle. She jumped when a hand appeared on her shoulder.

It was Blaise, closely followed by Malfoy, and Theo.

“You didn’t come back.”

Hermione could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“I didn’t want to interrupt. I was headed back to see Harr-”

“Hermione. You should really be careful around them.” Ron interrupted, unhelpfully.

“And why is that Weasley?”

Hermione hadn’t ever seen Theo mad, and after seeing him so happy-go-lucky on the train, this was rather scary. His eyes darkened in a way she didn’t know he was capable of, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Hermione, their famlies were-”

“Ronald. I do not appreciate the way you are talking about my friends. I’ve known them longer than you have, and they have been nothing but kind to me. Let’s not judge them based on things they had no part or say in.”

All four boys were stunned. Ron stood slack jawed while the other three looked at her with reverence. She hadn’t said anything about knowing their families’ histories, but it warmed something in them to know that she knew and still took the time to get to know them as individuals. Harry was unphased, having known both about Hermione’s friendships with the boys and about her willingness to give people a chance regardless of reputation.

“C’mon Hermione, it’s unlike you to not care about being at the back of the line”

Just like that, Harry pulled everyone back to the present and Hermione walked toward the front of the group with him. Ron raced to catch back up.

“Well. That was...”

“Just like her” Blaise smiled at where Hermione had been standing, finishing Theo’s thought.

“I was going to say unexpected or refreshing, but we can go with your dreamy, romantic response instead.” Theo said elbowing Blaise in jest. Blaise rolled his eyes.   

-

The first years stared in amazement around the edge of The Great Hall. The sorting hat was already seated on a stool in front of the tables filled with older students. Dumbledore gave a short introduction to the sorting hat and started calling names to the front of the hall.

Hermione was anxious. She knew that Harry had asked to be in Gryffindor in the stories, but there wasn’t much in her memories about Hermione’s experience with the sorting hat. She knew from some of the fanfiction stories that things would be pretty hard for her if she were sorted anywhere besides Gryffindor. She had to hope for the best, but trusting things would work out when they were outside of her control was not yet one of her skills. She wrung her hands nervously.

Hermione’s name was called. She walked to the front of the hall and climbed the stool. Everything went dark when she put on the hat, but she could hear a strange voice that seemed to echo inside her head.

Interesting. Yes, very interesting.

You are different than you appear.

You have experience with what you fear.

A drive to protect what you hold dear,

motivates the cunning I see here.

While I could place you in one of three,

a change would not be welcome by thee.

Your knowledge proves true which may be a bore,

but I will place you where you can do more....

“Gryffindor!”

The Gryffindor table cheered, and she smiled at Harry, still waiting to be sorted, as she walked towards the excited students. People around her peppered her with questions, but the next name was called before she could answer. There weren’t any surprises. Draco, Theo, and Daphne were sported into Slytherin, and she had full confidence that Pansy and Blaise would join them shortly. She made space for Neville when he walked over to the Gryffindor table.

Finally, it was Harry’s turn. A hush went over the hall as they waited for the hat’s decision.

How odd. You are the second person I’ve sorted this year with a strange soul.

It wasn’t really surprising to Harry that a talking hat, responsible for the fate of his school life, would say weird things. He was too busy chanting “Gryffindor, like my parents, like Hermione” to think too much about another person having “a strange soul,” whatever that meant.

“Gryffindor? Really? You could do great things in Slytherin.”

Harry didn’t want to do great things. He wanted to make friends and live normally in this magical world that cared about his parents. The hat’s whispering stopped.

“Gryffindor!” The hat yelled.

Harry smiled and the whole of Gryffindor cheered. He rushed over to sit with Hermione. Ron joined them later, and they all chatted with the rest of the table as dinner started. Hermione mostly listened to the conversations going on around her, trying to learn as much as possible. She also kept her eyes on Snape throughout dinner. She needed to see him, and that would mean catching him on his way out of the hall. Eventually, her moment came. She leapt up, mumbled something to Harry and raced off.

“What was that about?”

Harry shrugged at Ron’s question.

“Sometimes it’s best not to ask. She’ll explain when she’s ready for help.”

-

“Hello Professor, I’m not a member of your house, but I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Hermione Granger, and I am greatly looking forward to your class. I read a few of your published papers this summer, and I am looking forward to rereading them with a greater understanding.”

Snape looked down at the little girl with wild curls, who as he recalled had be sorted into Gryffindor earlier that evening. He didn’t say anything, but he sort-of nodded and grunted in greeting. He was not a fan of eager Gryffindors, and he was not about to start making exceptions.

“If it’s not too much trouble, could I schedule some time with you? It’s... Well, it’s important, and I trust and value your opinion Professor.” She stated.

He could tell she was sincere, more than a little nervous, and rather uncomfortable.

“And what Miss Granger is so important. Classes haven’t even begun. Office hours will be announced later.” Snape was now looking down frustrated and clearly ready to move on from this conversation. Nothing she could say would shake him, and he was decided on avoiding any additional contact with students before classes officially started.

She hesitated, but replied “Well, sir, I... I know things. I know things that I shouldn’t know, and I’m worried about what will happen if I don’t share those things with someone in a position of authority.”

 This statement surprised Snape, but she was still looking at him with sincerity. His gaze narrowed in annoyance. He still did not wish to meet with her, and she could see her opportunity slipping through her eleven-year-old fingers.

“You should look yourself. It’s all rather personal. I give consent for your legilimency.” She whispered.

How did she know? Who could have told this muggle-born about legilimency, but more importantly, how did she know he was an expert?  Snape wondered, but of course, she was proving that she was telling the truth.

Was she really a Gryffindor? Her approach was rather cunning, and she was getting her way. He thought.

He was able to hide his surprise at her statement and replied, “That will not be necessary Miss Granger. I will meet with you after your classes tomorrow. There will be time between the end of your classes and the start of the first-year introductory nonsense. Meet me in my office.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Hermione nodded.

As Snape turned and left, Hermione sighed in relief. Her knees felt like they were going to give way. She had lived with these memories for years and she was finally going to be able to do something about it.

Classes started with pretty standard orientations. Each syllabus looked incredibly interesting, and she was excited to start each topic in earnest. As her classes came to an end, she walked to the dungeons toward Snape’s classroom and knocked on the door.

The door swung open immediately, and she saw that he was sitting behind his desk that was somehow already stacked with papers. He stood, folded his arms, and glared at her.

“So. Miss Granger, what is SO important that you needed to meet with me?”

It all rushed out of her and in seemingly one breath she said, “It’s a few things really, but I think the most important is probably about the philosopher’s stone that Dumbledor is keeping on the third floor of the castle. Has he asked teachers to set up the protections yet?” She tilted her head and looked at him with that same sincerity that he saw earlier.

Snape paused and cautiously asked “What makes you say that?”

Hermione sighed like he had said exactly what she was expecting and replied matter-of-factly “It really may be easier for you to just look. I know you can, and I have the feeling you won’t believe whatever I say. I know other things about you too, but I don’t think you’d appreciate me saying them aloud. In summary, I have seen this all play out before, like I read it in a book.”

Interesting. That was not the answer Snape had been expecting. He had assumed Hagrid, the big oaf, had let the secret slip. He thoughtfully looked at her, and stated “I do not use legilimency lightly, especially on students. I don’t know how you think you discovered this information, but it is not true. I will not risk my professionalism as your teacher for such a trivial matter.”

“So, it’s not also true that your patronus is a doe because you still love Lilly Potter?” The reply slipped out of her. It was a low blow, and a sure-fire way to make Snape rage, but Hermione needed him to know how serious she was.

“I will look through your memories now. Please have a seat.”

“Great. Let’s get started.” She said rather lightly and pulled a chair from a nearby desk over.

“It will be painful and tiring. Are you sure?” He asked again because using legilimency on a student was a great way to get removed from the school. It could be some sort of strange Gryffindor trap, but the request seemed too odd, and she knew too much for him not to risk it.

“Yes. Please. I have been living with this knowledge for years, and I am more than ready to share the burden.” She said rather maturely.

He was once again surprised but nodded and turned to face her. When their eyes met, she felt it, him rifling through her memories. It was like she was standing next to him while they watched together, and while it was uncomfortable, she could tell he was doing his best to be gentle.

“You can skip a lot of the ones over here.” She said while pointing to a line of still frames that contained her and her parents and early school life. Her memories were organized a lot like the scene selection for a DVD, they were ordered by time and when one stopped to look at a frame more closely, it started to move as a preview. Snape had never seen anything like it. The structure alone would take someone years to master, and Snape struggled to keep his jaw from hitting the floor.

“What you’re looking for is over here.” She pointed to a stack of books on top of some sort of folded metal and a smaller plastic box containing eight circular mirrors with holes in the centers.

Snape was confused. He didn’t know what to make of the “laptop” or “DVDs”, she had called them, so he picked up the first book. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone the cover read. As he thumbed through the book skimming the story, he looked at her dumbfounded.

She shrugged and looked away unamused, like everyone had neat stacks of stories in their head that aligned with the present.

“If you want the CliffsNotes version, you’re looking for Professor Quirrel. He’s growing a creepy version of Voldemort on the back of his head under the turban, and he’s eating unicorns to survive. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, well, me, I guess, get through all the tests you and the other teachers set up, then Harry kills Voldemort and Quirrel accidentally with the power of love.” She said sounding rather board at Snape’s clear shock as he exited her memories.

“I... I see why you asked to meet with me.” Snape said rather dimly back in the classroom, still in a state of surprise.

Hermione chuckled while replying “And you haven’t even seen the other books, the FanFiction, or the movies. I appreciate that you’re taking me seriously now. If you want, I can share the memories, but you’ll have to show me how. I would also be happy to meet again because there are other important things that should be cleared up.”

Snape nodded still lost in thought. He was trained not to show emotion, and he hadn’t except for one slip 11 years ago when he held the only person he ever loved, lifeless in his arms while he heard her son cry. This little girl he had been prepared to dismiss shook something in his core. He needed to know what she knew.

“Oh. You’re not going to like this, but Sirius Black should be released from Azkaban. Peter Pettigrew is the one who actually betrayed the Potters. I know Sirius and James bullied you, but Harry needs someone who will care for him and Sirius will be a much better guardian than the Dursleys.”

Snape was ready to protest, but he was exhausted after what he just saw and experienced so instead he said plainly “Peter Pettigrew is dead.”

Hermione said simply, “Talk to Fred and George Weasley. They have a piece of parchment that will be helpful to you. When you confiscate it from them say ‘I solemnly swear I’m up to no good’ and then ‘Mischief Managed’ when you’re done. The map should reveal everything, but you’ll want their rat too. I wouldn’t say anything or he might run, but Pettigrew’s animagus form is rather ironic.”

Hermione looked at the clock and before Snape could think any more about what just happened, she said “Excuse me Professor. I believe I need to head to an event for the first years. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. Maybe eventually we can talk about your academic work. I wasn’t kidding when I said I found it intriguing.”

She picked up her stuff and left Snape to sit in his shock and awe.

As the door to his classroom opened and then gently shut, Snape pulled himself back together and began processing. He still wasn’t sure if he believed this seemingly random 11-year-old girl, but she hadn’t asked for much and her claims were both bold and relatively easy to confirm. She already knew more than she should about him, so his conclusion was that he needed to set up more time with her, more time to hear about what she knew and more time to teach her to protect that insightful young mind. He would need help.

Notes:

I'm no poet, I'm doing all the editing myself and it was kinda a speedy turn around so I hope this chapter is okay. Thanks so much for continuing to tune in!

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! Your feedback, comments, and kudos are greatly appreciated.