Chapter Text

Hollander

Today, 7:31 AM

i think we can all safely say we survived

i think we can indeed

Alex is coming back tomorrow i’ve never seen him like that

same for Zoyushka

do you think i should get her a therapist

what for?

it was very stressful for her

oh my god

no??

i mean, i’m not her parent, you should see that with her mom

but trust me she’s doing good, kids just tend to go stir crazy like the rest of us

i was handling it well

right.

what? no comeba

Sveta

Today, 8:14 PM

so now she misses Alex AND Hollander

Yeah.

She kept asking for him at home.

I had to do her hair three times this fucking morning just bc she didn't like it. How am I supposed to know how he did it

SHE COMES FROM ME

😭 That’s cute tho

Uncle Shane

Just set up a playdate

not sure I'm booked and busy with the closing on the Hellingstone case

Also i don’t need anyone to raise MY child

Right.

Bc you handled that chickenpox episode like a champ

I would have but nobody allowed me to

Hollander

Today, 3:24 PM

regarding saturday

?

10am? the playroom?

sure

Rose will take Alex tho i have a mountain of stuff to catch up on

probably won’t be seeing the light of day for the next three weeks

oh no, has there been another spill?

ahah

funny.

this is because of people like me that you can afford to live in the city without having to worry about your daughter’s lungs turning into mush before she hits puberty

i like it when you talk bac

Hollander

Today, 3:41 PM

talking about air quality and deathly diseases, I want to send a team to scrub your apartment clean.

my apartment is clean.

let’s just pretend it’s not and you didn’t have two kids with an extremely contagious disease in there

you really don’t need to do that.

i insist.

fine, whatever. That’s your money to waste.

Rose

Today, 12:27 PM

i think he has a crush on you

He keeps asking about you. What you’re working on, if you’re seeing someone… It’s funny because he genuinely thinks he’s being super subtle.

Today, 4:19 PM

Alex had a lot of fun but he said he misses when you’re here to play with them. Zoya too asked for you! She's adorable.

Elena

Today, 11:16 AM

So? What's the plan?

What plan?

About Rozanov

You asked me seven questions about his relationship status this morning

No one cares about who's married and who's not unless they're actively planning on doing something about it

I just didn't know you knew him

I told you, I don't

He just comes to the Kingfisher often and my best friend and I go there all the time. Also Kip works in the mailroom on the 16th floor so I get all the gossip

The Kingfisher?

Yes. The bar down the block? I keep inviting you btw.

No one wants to drink with their boss.

You are not my boss

Sorry I didn't mean it like that

So?

You and Rozanov!!!

I'm not discussing this with you

Oh I see I'm just a PARALEGAL

OR ANYBODY

Elena

Today, 3:01 PM

What kind of gossip?

?

You said there was a ton of gossip on the 16th floor.

Just ask me if he's single once and for all

Today, 4:59 PM

Is he single

oh my god yes FINALLY

So him and Svetlana aren’t married or anything?

She's engaged to someone else. They had this massive party like four months ago.

Mr Rozanov

Today, 6:37 PM

Apparently Zoya left some of her crayons here? And there’s half a pair of jammies that was lost in a laundry basket.

can you come over and p

Mr Rozanov

we could

Mr Rozanov

you

Mr Rozanov

Today, 6:49 PM

You mind me coming over to pick it up tonight? i might be busy for the rest of the week.

No, not at all.

Alex is with his mo

Mr Rozanov

Today, 8:08 PM

I’m bringing red wine

i don’t drink on week nights.

tonight you do.

Elena

I had sex w

Hayden

so remember that assho

Rose

i

Sveta

Today, 9:36 AM

Guess what I did last night

Do I want to know?

Weirdly enough I think you do.

Dazzle me

i went to Shane's

I'm coming over

Can’t I'm on a call

And you're texting me

You bill them $1600 an hour, the least you could do is give them your undivided attention

Rates went up to $1800

You are shameless

Do you want to hear about this or not

weirdly enough, yes

Zoya had left stuff there so I went to pick it up. I brought wine because I'm not stupid.

Of course.

We started talking about life and stuff. He's really not all that aggravating when his son isn't pulling my daughter's hair.

Can you skip to the part where you two did the nasty because I have a call scheduled in 5

i fucked him so hard his apple watch went off

He def likes it rough. Lots of hair pulling and headboard grabbing and yes sir, no sir.

i want to be mad but.......

but you can’t

does your fiancé know you're getting wet over your baby daddy telling you how good he's fucking another guy

he doesn’t need to know how deep my allyship runs

Jackie

Today, 2:28 PM

Are you okay?

Yes, why?

During the call with Hellingstone you looked kind of out of it.

Do you need me to bring you coffee?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Mr Rozanov

About

Mr Rozanov

Sorry if I

Mr Rozanov

Sorry, I just don't really

Mr Rozanov

Hey, i

Hollander

Today, 8:31 AM

hi

Today, 4:47 PM

hey. Sorry I'm just really busy rn. You needed something specific?

it just felt appropriate. I was inside you less than 17h ago.

This is why I don't hook up with random people.

Random people?

Look, you’re busy, I'm busy. It was good don’t get me wrong but I really can’t deal with that rn

Hollander

when are WE playing ag

Hollander

Today, 2:17 PM

Are you upstairs?

It’s a Tuesday afternoon, Hollander. Of course I am upstairs.

Alex brought home stuff and I'm pretty sure it’s Zoya’s.

You need to get your son checked for kleptomania.

Do you want this back or not

Sure. Come upstairs.

Why don’t you come downstairs.

Bc it’s a much nicer floor, it’s a nice change for you.

I’ll get Harris to drop it off for you.

No. You come upstairs. We can have coffee.

I have coffee here.

My coffee is better. Roasted. High quality.

Luca Haas

Today, 2:36 PM

You didn't see anything.

No of course not! I wasn't even there.

Hollander

Today, 2:49 PM

I’m never listening to you again.

It’s nothing.

What's the point of a fucking fancy office if you don't lock the door

We legally don't have locks. Safety measures.

That has to be the dumbest decision ever.

So he saw us making out, big deal

We weren't making out

My tongue was in your throat

and you were sitting on my desk

and your legs were around me

I’m aware

I was there

We WERE making out

Debatable

Don’t make me go look up the definition of making out because this would be a picture of you in your suit, hard as fuck for me

It’s a biological reaction. Grow up

Right. Sure.

Tell him to keep his mouth shut

Luca? He’ll do anything I want

fun fact he’s wanted me to fuck him forever

Today, 4:36 PM

are you mad?

No

Are you turned on?

No

I can ask him to join us next time

1. we’re not dating 2. I don't care what you do and who you’re doing it with 3. one word: HR

Marly

Today, 7:41 PM

I need to get hammered

I thought you were too busy being father of the year

I’ll make time

Sleep is overrated anyway

Tell people

On it

Mr Rozanov

Today, 10:14 AM

Where are you guys?

Today, 10:37 AM

Everything okay?

Elena

Today, 12:29 PM

Did you read the expert report? Page 14. The groundwater table depth. Did he clarify his methodology yet? We still have a 2.8m difference between both reports.

He keeps telling me 'EOW'. It’s Saturday why are you at the office?

Because I'm working

You don’t usually work on Saturdays.

No. I just needed to do something other than staying home. My son's playdate got cancelled.

Right.

Does this have anything to do with Rozanov

No.

Why

Because kip says he’s been in a mood for a few days. Very weird mood. Spacing out a lot and looking at his phone a lot.

What does it have to do with me

Because there’s this rumor he’s been caught hooking up with someone in his office

and also you showed up with a bite mark on your neck. Which I would normally not discuss with anyone except maybe a priest or a therapist.

What

Yes

No

Yes

And you didn't tell me?

Look that’s not my business

But suddenly it is

It is because you seem to be in a mood too and 1+1 usually equals 2

So I had sex with someone one time. Big deal. We’re not married or anything

So what?? It wasn't good?

I need more details

So that you can tell Kip and the rest of the 16th floor? No

You want to talk about it

maybe I just don't like sharing

Mr Rozanov

Today, 1:06 PM

I’m really sorry i forgot the playdate. Sveta took Zoyushka shopping today and I forgot to cancel.

Right.

you met Marly?

the giant hunk half naked who opened the door?

i’d say meeting is a strong word

good on you for not letting fatherhood slow you down

He was an associate when i started at Lehmann & Vetrov

best drinking buddy for sure

straight as they come

are you free today?

no, i’m working

but you were free for the playdate

i changed my plans after you stood me up

us

why don’t you come over

i have alex with me

at work?

yes. a few crayons and a notepad and he’s in his own little world

Today, 3:21 PM

Look, let’s cut to the chase. i want you again.

straightforward, even for you.

we’re both adults, there’s no shame in asking.

there’s a little shame in begging.

i’m not begging, i’m just bringing this up.

you should try, maybe it would work better.

oh? really?

please, Shane Hollander, let me fuck you again.

i don’t think your heart is in it all that much.

all i’m getting is that you do want to go for another round

Luca Haas

Today, 3:46 PM

god he’s making me beg for it why is this hot

i think there's been a little mixup...

i’m sorry. i’ll block your number until Monday to avoid any further mixup.

Sveta

Today, 3:51 PM

god he’s making me beg for it why is this hot

because you know it’s foreplay

Hollander

Today, 9:54 PM

Working late? Almost picked up the wrong order from the door dash guy

Don't you have an assistant to go pick that up for you?

It's fine I'm just doing some housekeeping. You?

Closing. These people are impossible.

so that's a yes on working late.

why?

no reason

what kind of housekeeping is keeping you here at 10

i like the quiet

alone here or at home is the same thing

I see, so you keep your entire office running at 10 just out of sheer selfishness

of course not, it's just me and a mountain of emails and briefs

right

?

Today, 10:10 PM

i need a break.

don’t smoke, it’s bad for your lungs.

how do you know i smoke?

i have a nose.

it’s just one every now and then

when zoyushka isn’t around

do you suggest something else to help me manage my stress level

maybe

i’m listening

you step out of your office, you walk down the hall, you’ll see a big metal box (it’s called an elevator btw), you hit the button, you get in, and then you push the 11th floor button

you know how to push my buttons alright

is it working?

i might need a little bit more of an incentive after all that begging you made me do for nothing the other day

what more of an incentive than come and fuck me in conference room 4B

i’m sure you can find something

you want a calendar invite? a bottle of lube and a bow?

Talk a big game for someone who was on the verge of a medical emergency last time I put my hands on him

It was just some technological nonsense

I bet you couldn't walk the next day

Tell me Hollander

How many days did that last

I don't know

Maybe two days

I’m sure I can make it to three

So you're coming then?

Maybe

Are you waiting for me

what do you think

i want more

no.

yes.

no.

yes.

you do sound suspiciously like your daughter.

no kids talk when I'm hard

you're hard already?

yes, i'm a contrarian by nature, we've already established that. Can we get on with the program now?

something like that?

about that bottle of lube

you have one with you right

hollander

i’m fucking serious rightn ow

yes

please come and fuck me

give me a minute Малыш i’m coming down

what does that mean?

that’s for me to know

i could google it

don’t you like not knowing

maybe i’m calling you my pretty little slut

fuck

im gonna ruin that fucking hol

Mr Rozanov

Today, 10:58 PM

i’m never having sex with you again

oh come on

you are a deeply sick individual

it was just a janitor

the entire conference room was FLOOR to CEILING windows

so?

the fact he DIDN’T see us is beyond me

point is he didn’t

and you came so hard you saw stars

you don’t know that

you told me

no eyewitness

want me to ask the janitor?

not funny

i didn’t think shane hollander played like that

i don’t really

normally

does that make me special?

get you purring and everything?

maybe

wish you could have stayed longer

maybe a conference room isn’t the appropriate location for that

i thought you were never having sex with me again

it’s a figure of speech hollander, please try to keep up

you loved it

of course i fucking loved it

how could i not

i have alex with me all week but we can figure something else out

do i book one or two hours

book where?

right now Le Saint Germain. One or two hours?

depends which day?

every fucking day

are you serious

for future reference i’m never joking when it comes to your ass Hollander

only my ass?

you do have an obscenely good mouth

one hour monday through wednesday + friday

i can make it two hours on thursday

what about sunday

a picture will have to do

FaceTime after the kids are asleep

Elena

Today, 1:24 PM

where are you? We got the wetlands permit back, i need to discuss something with you.

can it wait until 1pm? i’m really busy rn

i’m sorry it can’t. can i call you?

Elena

Today, 1:31 PM

I don’t know what you were doing but i sure hope you were running on a treadmill

You know what, for my very own sanity, do not even respond. I’d like to spend the rest of my days in blissful ignorance.

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Ilya

Today, 2:01 PM

you forgot your wallet in the room

i'm dropping it off to Jackie

also i tipped the housekeepers with it

Hollander

Today, 9:54 AM

did you order something for me?

yes. please open.

Today, 9:57 AM

i’m going to fucking kill you

why? i know how much you love looking pretty on all four for me

Harris

Today, 9:56 AM

i’m really, terribly sorry, this is a gag gift i had no idea this was inside

don’t worry, this is none of my business!

can we pretend this never happened? please, i’m really sorry.

it’s alright!

Sveta

Today, 3:58 PM

You two are hanging out a lot, i hear

Well

“hanging out”

none of your business

oh please

are you going to make an honest man out of him or

i’m not marrying anyone

i’m not talking about marriage, i’m talking about dating

we go out a lot

fucking raw during lunch break every day doesn’t count as dating

sometimes i buy him a drink at the hotel bar

or a salad

he’s a salad guy

that’s still NOT dating

because we’re not dating

you said it yourself, we just hang out

you’re giving me a headache

zoyushka got in her little head that she wants a sibling, it’s your turn to provide

i’m sorry but no amount of dating or fucking raw will knock up shane hollander

figure it out

i will file for harassment

Ilya

Today, 6:22 PM

It’s Alex’s birthday next week. Would Zoya be free on Saturday?

Sure

Do you need help handling the kids?

It’s really just Zoya. Alex isn’t very big on crowds so we’re just going to hang out at the Biodôme

the biodôme?

yeah?

he swears there’s a penguin there that he can recognize

don’t they all look the same?

don’t ask

Alright

Do you want to come with us?

I kind of want you to be there.

if that’s possible, i mean.

Just the four of us, Hollander? People might get ideas

Well

Well?

do you want people to get ideas?

i think if they were to get ideas i’d like it to be because i’m with you

ok

okay?

yes but i’m really gonna need you to wear those jeans you wore that first time at the school

what’s so special about them?

they made your ass look huge

did you just call me fat?

no, only your ass

sidebar, zoya doesn't have any allergies, right?

you can’t sidebar sexting (no she doesn't. strong russian genes)

it’s not sexting? you just called my ass fat

and which purpose would that serve if only to draw your attention to the fact i want to eat it?

well clearly you would have to be an outstanding citizen all day before i allow that

can’t have any funny business happening around the kids

are you scheduling me eating you out?

i feel better knowing it’s on the calendar

alright put it on the calendar

Hollander

Today, 7:39 AM

You can’t keep scheduling ass-eating every day

why not? a man’s gotta eat

Please. Use. A. Different. Title.

Harris likes me but i’m one bad phone notification away from being called in by HR

Maybe he shouldn’t be looking at your phone.

we work together, it HAPPENS

please

alright

but only because i love it when you’re begging

Rose

Today, 11:26 AM

i think i'm getting replaced

awww it's adorable

is my baby having the best day??

yeah, he’s really having fun right now! he saw Blinkers so he’s over the moon

omg he wasn’t there last time we went!!

The fact you both claim you can recognize a random animal is beyond me

You have to feel it in your soul, Shane. You need to open your mind

Is he having fun with his stepdad? 👀

Stop that

Why? Am I wrong?

We’re not there yet

Bullshit. He asked me what to buy for Alex’s birthday, that’s a lot of thought for someone you claimed was a psycho

He did? Why didn’t he ask me

Because he probably wanted it to be a surprise for you too!

Besides i called Svetlana, she says you guys are seeing each other every day

We work in the same building

She also told me about all the lunch hour shenanigans

Is that why you’ve lost so much weight? Because you spend your lunch hour having hot sex with the hotshot lawyer from the 16th floor?

I’m not discussing this with you. And you and Svetlana need to STOP talking about us

Us? 👀👀👀

Yes. It’s a pronoun.

Ilya

Today, 11:39 AM

iwhere are you?

i’ve lost you more times than i’ve lost the kids

it’s fine i’m catching up i was texting rose

i’ll put a leash on you

don’t threaten me with a good time

Sveta

Today, 5:09 PM

it’s an emergency can you take zoyushka tonight

and also alex

ilya it’s the kid’s BIRTHDAY

i know

but shane……

shane will like you better if you can keep it in your pants until tomorrow

shane LOVES when i don’t keep it in my pants, i’ll have you know

c’mon it’s alex’s birthday, it matters at their age

fine.

Ms Patterson

Today, 2:31 PM

Mr Rozanov, I'm sorry to inform you there was another issue at school today. Zoya got into a physical altercation with another classmate (NOT Alex Hollander).

What did HE do?

I think it would be best if we could discuss this in person.

I'm sorry, I won't be able to come today and I'm currently not available for a phonecall because I'm in a work meeting.

Zoya was very upset because her classmate told her she could not have two daddies. While this is not the kind of words we encourage, we do not condone violence either.

I see.

Today, 2:44 PM

Zoyushka's stepdad offered to come over. He said he has a few things he'd like to discuss with you.

Hollander

Today, 4:09 PM

stepdad?

stepdad.

ok. stepdad.