Chapter Text
69Preussen plz69 @nina_skrina9 1d
Ok like why dont they just make out already
[Attached: 2 images of the youtuber’s similar thumbnails “cancelling” each other]
3:51 PM 5/12/2026
💬178 🔃1.9k ❤️23k 🔖1.3k
Alan’s blue tie @riverizsocewl 1d
And let me watch???👀👀👀LOL and let me watch??👀👀👀👀let me watch them making out lol????👀👀👀👀👀
Mariko broke me🥲@llorandos
Yesss take my word for it theyre already doing that off screen guys
✌︎Cali4nya~ @Halfmetal_alchemist 1d
no wait I want them to continue this a bit longer it feels like heated rivalry except without the hockey and.. Stuff
garFyFried @PickleWoman 1d
@Halfmetal_alchemist ??Yall see 2 gay men and js call anything heated rivalry now 🤦 im irritated.
🚮 @WhoppperJr 1d
I hope you all realize that they never said they were gay in the first place? Weird ass fujos
Daddy Tom @itssssnotg4yBro 1d
@WhoppperJr BOOHOO BOOOHOOO WA WA SHUT UPP
pitersshit @shitpiters 1d
@WhoppperJr umm theyre my very gay parents and thsy told me that they dont like youu spreading misinformstion like this.😂
glazzjawz🇮🇹 @cosmopolitanbloodloss 1d
How yall feeling abt the name GiLov
4:00 PM 5/12/2026
💬1.4k 🔃11k ❤️245k 🔖3.6k
🍏Manzanas @sceneemo.skuls 1d
Oh ew.
Mallory likes spn @616741 1d
Girl bye im not in the mood today LMFAO
Nino Lorelius @CutebabySquirrrell 1d
That’s a nice start, but I was thinking about the name: Prumano. Specifically because if you translate xxpreussen’s name into English, it is Prussia, the once Eastern Germanic country. Simple enough, right? And while we’re on the topic of countries, Tomahto seems to have lots of pride in his own (if his desktop bg picture is anything to go by) which is South Italy. Furthermore, I wanted it to have a nicer ring and based on what I know, the capital of Italy is Rome. ½
Nino Lorelius @CutebabySquirrrell 1d
Although Rome is more centrally located, I decided to categorize it as part of Southern Italy for the sake of the ship name. The direct Italian translation for “Roman” (whether people of the late Roman empire or a part of this Italian city) is Romano. Therefore, concluding to the name of: Prumano. P.S. Your ship name idea is nice too. Don’t let the others in the replies discourage you. 2/2
The BEST Guest @KuwaitiTomatoTomahtofan 1d
???IS NINO A HOLY DIETY OML IM PRINTING THIS AND PUTTING IT ON MY BEDROOM WALL
GERMANYYY @wilinglyloved 1d
@CutebabySquirrrell This is actually beautiful omg I love you I just shed a white tear❤️🩹❤️🩹 #Prumano #Prumano4Life #JorkinItToPrumano
Nashnassh @nashnassh 1d
i love the fact that we really have prumano philosophers before gta 6 thats so amazing
3000 @TwinkleToes001 22h
Chapter 2 of my Gilbert x Lovino fanfic crossposted on ao3 and wattpad here:
[Attached: link to fanfic]
7:20 PM 5/12/2026
💬243 🔃3.3k ❤️67k 🔖689
“My Universe” @Michy_elle 22h
WAHT ARE U GONNA KEEP UPDDATING THIS AFTER EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE🥹🥀
3000 @TwinkleToes001 22h
@Michy_elle Maybe *twiddles my fingers*
China’s toe @funyunchipbag 22h
HELLO plz write more I’ll pluck out a piece of China’s hair for you if it helps LMAO
(Avid nohome fan) @shrodingercatts 21h
@funyunchipbag Yao are you seeing this i have tears in my eyes @ChinasCutest.Man
Yao time @ChinasCutest.Man ✔️ 21h
Why am i being tagged on a prumano thread yes i ship them they're both so rude so they're perfect together
(Avid nohome fan) @shrodingercatts 21h
HELP?? XDD I DIDNT THINK HE WOULD RESPOND
𓏲(=⤙=) @Cherri_chaser 21h
YAOS A CONFIRMED PRUMANO SHIPPER!!1! I can rest peacefully.. _(┐「ε:)_
Today, Lovino is at a certain someone’s house to film a part “irl” and part gaming video with the well known and immensely popular American streamer, BURGER.F.KINK76.
For purposes to protect whatever little sanity Lovino has left; he will be mostly referred to as his legal government name, Alfred F. Jones.
(He really doesn’t know why he continues to be associated with people who have ugly usernames, but it makes his own look a whole lot better in comparison, so he’s not complaining.)
Racking in a whopping 10 million followers accumulated across several platforms, Alfred took the time out of his packed schedule (scrolling on Instagram) to fulfill Lovino’s request for an immediate collab.
Alfred’s form of content doesn’t really follow a strict schedule like most. One day he goes from, “Speedrunning the FNAF game franchise till i get scared and PISS myself” while the next he’s in his car arguing with another YouTuber, Arthur, over who knows what. For someone who just does random shit every day and posts it on the internet, Alfred honestly doesn’t know how he blew up either. Sure he could blame it on the algorithm, but he likes to dumb it down to him being super attractive. Why else would the fans eat it up every time? By the way, the majority of his fans’ are males—not that it necessarily changes anything, but it’s just a thought to keep in mind.
Don’t be fooled, while this collaboration might seem unlikely and even shocking upon first glance, it truly isn’t. Reasons because Alfred is a lunatic and has collabed with nearly every internet persona to ever exist, and, said from BURGER.F.KINK76 himself on a Q&A when he was just an up and coming YouTuber, the two have known each other for quite some time now.
Long story short, the two were college dorm mates and Alfred continuously held parties despite them both being broke college bros. After one party went completely south resulting in them both being kicked out of the dorm and Lovino giving the worst scolding of Alfred’s life; in a recovering hangover, Alfred had promised to never hold another party (at least, not in his and Lovino’s shared living quarters) and to pay him double the amount of the losses which was unfortunately a lot. The “quick and easy solution” he concluded, was becoming a YouTuber. At that point Lovino knew his bastard of a dormmate had completely lost his mind, and while that would be funny in any other scenario, it just felt pitiful. Feeling stupidly sympathetic and growing quite tired of his ugly sobbing, he begrudgingly agreed to do the same alongside him. The Italian 100% doubts that Alfred remembers this promise now which gives him all the more reason to dump the blame of this whole “PreussenXTomahto” situation on that jerk American. Yet, for whatever reason Alfred still sends Lovino a certain amount of money from every one of his paychecks to which he brushes off as childish bragging on his huge success.
“So, you came to the hero to fix your dilemma, huh?” Alfred spoke up, making Lovino embarrassingly jump in mild surprise.
As of right now, the Italian is standing a few feet away from where the American sits on the living room floor as he pulls out his gaming systems for them to choose from. Deciding to just go with whatever one he thought looked best since Lovino frustratingly refused to pick.
Lovino scoffed, “When will you stop calling yourself a damn hero. You never even solve any fucking thing?”
“Uhh dude, not true? I totally figured out who that blonde German coworker was that little Feli kept rambling about! A little stake-out for someone who’s technically unemployed like me is always fun as hell!” Alfred had long stood up by now and flashed one of his stupid cocky grins before grabbing a large bag of greasy chips off the couch. Lovino swears the bag had been there since Alfred first moved into his own apartment. That was 9 months ago. “Hey.. now that I mention it, isn’t it funny you both are currently dealing with Germans?” The American opened the chipbag and began smacking, “Small world brah!!”
“You didn’t figure out jack shit? And that is not fucking funny, I—” Lovino bit the inside of his lip in the midst of his rising anger, preventing himself from saying anything stupid that Alfred can and would twist out of proportion later on. With clenched fists and furrowed eyebrows, he let out a tired sigh, “..Just tell me what I can do? Please, you’re the only one I can go to for this.”
As stated earlier, the two met up at Alfred’s house for a collaboration video. However, it was all a cover up for Lovino’s underlying motive:
His very own secret therapy session.
He swears it sounded way cooler when he first thought of it.
In all honesty it was more like a rage room rather than a therapy session. Alfred is a very easy target to take his anger out on (verbally at least), only adding onto the fact that he makes a terrible therapist. Back when they were in the dorms, Lovino caught himself crying in front of Alfred and all the blonde did was awkwardly pat his back with a little too much force and offered to watch the Avengers: Endgame movie. He still has no idea how that was supposed to help. Lovino told himself he would never let himself fall into that trap again, yet here he is. Desperate times call for desperate measures after all. Furthermore, Alfred is surprisingly the most skilled person he can go to with this information, especially considering that he’s currently (and has been for a while now) going through a similar scenario.
Alfred, seemingly sensing the weird shift in Lovino’s vibe, straightened up on the couch and shifted over to make room for him to sit. Though he personally found the situation pretty comical, Tomahto was under some serious stress for who knows what. Reputation? Career? Sexuality? Alfred could only guess. It’s true that he did and still is going through something akin to Lovino’s, but he never quite beat himself up over it like this. The Italian always seemed to do this even at minor inconveniences and although Alfred never understood it he did continue to try and help. Seeing his friend (BEST BUD, by Alfred’s words) this down in the dumps almost tempted him to put on Avengers: Infinity War. Key word: almost.
But if Lovino didn’t like the endgame then that especially means he’s not going to like Infinity War! So, after letting a chip dissolve on his tongue, Alfred racked up his brain and thought of something that might actually stick with Lovino, “OH DUDE!” A light bulb practically turned on above his head, “You could always just milk it and lowkey clip farm for the views like me and Kiku do??” Alfred could practically hear the praise now. He was so good at this advice and therapy stuff, he might even consider it if for the wildest reason YouTube and streaming doesn’t work out.
“That was the worst idea you could’ve ever fucking made in your pathetic lifetime.”
“DUDE WHAT? HOW?”
Lovino groaned and covered both his ears from Alfred’s outbursts.
“NUHUH!” Alfred shouted, despite being one cushion away from Lovino. “Look man, your fans already decided a ship name for you two!” The American had his phone pulled out and on the horribly cracked screen protector displayed the hashtags with the most popularity as of late, with the unfamiliar tag: #Prumano, being number two. “You’ve got it so easy brah, just listen to your amazing hero and play it up a bit!”
The continuous laughter from the American instantly turned into shrieks of fear when Lovino smacked the crappy-looking phone out of his face. “D-Don’t show me that shit you damn bastard?!”
Though he said this, his face was telling a whole other story. Pinkish and practically red hues filled the tips of his ears, to the sides of his face, and even down to his nape. Add that onto the nervous darting of his eyes and stammering of his words, anyone would think otherwise. Anyone but Alfred of course. Being too dense and also too caught up in the safety of your already broken phone doesn’t play too well into seeing that your friend is obviously flustered.
“Besides, I already told you that was the worst fucking idea ever. So just drop it.” Lovino faced the opposite direction from Alfred while simultaneously trying his best to make his voice sound steady.
Yeah, I’m sure it is bro.” Alfred turned off his poor excuse of a device, “The hero never has bad ideas! How could It POSSIBLY be a bad idea?”
He didn’t think the American was asking a genuine question, so he wasn’t going to answer. But feeling those freakishly blue irises bore holes into the back of his skull creeped him out enough into responding. “You arent even fucking clip farming anymore. You two are basically eye-fucking each other every time you’re in the same room?” Tomahto rolled his eyes.
“What??” Alfred asked while tilting his head back to pour the chip bag into his mouth. Obviously showing that his attention was directed elsewhere.
The Italian started to feel like he was the only one taking this seriously and it only made him even more frustrated. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with closed eyes, “I agreed to go hang out with the likes of you that one weekend only for you to ask if that reclusive stick-up-his-ass Kiku can come too. What the fuck?” His voice raised upon each word. Agitation only increasing when remembering the contents of the memory.
A beat hung in the tense air.
Lovino noticing this, or rather, noticing Alfred’s uncharacteristic silence, hesitantly turned his head to Alfred’s place on the couch. Just in time to be met with,
Alfred crumbling up the chip bag and licking all five of his fingers? Rather loud and grossly might he add too. Fucking disgusting.
Lovino let out an exasperated groan and let his head fall into his palms.
Immediately after the blonde finished his acts of repulsion, he shot his friend with a scrunched up glare and an almost dejected look as if he had finally processed what the other had said.
“Well it's not my fault he’s actually a cool dude??” He tossed the crumpled bag into the bin like an NBA player, fist pumping when it made it in. “And don't even act like you don't think he’s chill too, bro.”
“That’s!—“ This is the second time Lovino is having to bite his tongue around Alfred. Only this time, it’s because he had nothing to refute against his claim, “URGGH” The Italian made sure his stomps were extra loud as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door shut.
“HEYY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Alfred shouted with cupped hands to his mouth, “WE STILL HAVE TO FINISH THE SECOND HALF OF THIS VIDEO!!”
Giving up after looking around and not receiving any type of sign from Lovino after 5 seconds, he plopped right back down on the couch and reached over for his phone.
Alfred sighed dramatically, “Jeez.. how could he even say that?” He shook his head in confusion while typing out another eye catching tweet for his almost freakishly devoted fanbase:
ALFREDBRO🔥💪 @BURGER.F.KINK76✔️ 34m
ME AND KIKU LIVE STREAMING IN ABOUT 5 HOURS!!!!!!!‼️‼️🗣️🗣️💪STICK AROUND TO SEEE SOME HOT STEAMY GOODNESS HELL YEAH👏👏👏‼️⁉️🔥🔥@Keekss @Keekss @Keekss Boutta clap those cheeksss keekkssss AYOO😳😳😂😂🫱
5:15 PM 5/13/2026
💬178 🔃1.9k ❤️23k 🔖1.3k
k i k u @Keekss ✔️ 34m
And then you wonder why the rumors have never been cleared yet…
Bent APUSH over @Green_naruto38 31m
THE CLOSET JUST DOESNT EXIST AND I FAWKING LOVE ITTTTT PAPAS HUNGY FOR MORE ALREADY
Bent APUSH over @Green_naruto38 31m
Kiku and alfred live later today I just cancelled all my plans with family and friends for this🥳🥳
Bent APUSH over @Green_naruto38 30m
I cant wait for the live IM LIKEE TWITCHING SO BADDD🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤👅👅
tyty @ttyyyyuuuuaililiaru 26m
@Green_naruto38 Guys I think this person is excited for the live, im not sure though lmaoo
Yuukiki @TankikiYuukiki 24m
Please collab with Arthur again soon❤️🩹I need to see some more bloodshed
Bed sheets rustled around with every toss and turn Lovino made on the bed, some movements more volatile than others. He was trying to bring this miserable and very unproductive day to a close, but of course that’ll forever be asking for too much. Constant munching, laughing, and clicking noises of a keyboard all a little too close for his liking filled his eardrums. For what purpose would Feliciano need to be doing all that especially in his room? He swears he told him to not come back the minute he stops letting loose those deadly farts of his and while these weren’t farts, they might as well be. Lovino groaned loudly while covering himself with the blanket in hopes to convey annoyance to the other. He forgot that his idiot brother doesn’t quite understand social cues.
“Will you shut the fuck up?! People are trying to sleep here, bastard!” Despite still being under the covers, Lovino’s voice was loud enough for even the neighbors to hear.
Finally, there was silence,
but of course that didn’t last long.
The speed of the clicking increased along with vague noises of stuff being moved around a desk, “Dude! I’m streaming!”
Lovino’s eyes shot open as he flung over the covers. He didn’t need to turn around to realize that the rambunctious person was in fact, not Feliciano.
However, a few seconds of confused blinking later did make him realize that this was not his bedroom. The day that he ever pairs silk pillowcases with polyester bed sheets is the day he dies. The thought sent shivers down his spine. His back to the headboard of the bed, he gazed across the room to fully intake his surroundings like it's the first time. Superhero posters that've been taped up to no end, medals and jerseys from who knows what pinned against the popcorn wall, mis-matched pairs of shoes scattered about the beige carpet, and a massive American flag that lays directly above his head: All none of which reflects the Southern Italian’s characteristics.
The Italian mentally faced palmed. He had completely forgotten that shortly after his grand exit, he came right back and fell asleep the minute they were done recording that stupid video. Before you ask, no, the couch wasn’t an option; he would appreciate his neck to not kill him the next morning.
That being said, the full sized bed isn’t much better either. What the hell is he even sleeping on? Decorated bricks and steel rods? He was going to scold Alfred about it, but the thought vanished when he briefly met with stunned blue eyes that both flew over to the second monitor that displayed the live chat.
•Live Chat:
>prumanoo: who's. burgerkink tlkaking to……😭💔💔
>KittyyyLuvsYao: Alfred when are u gonna do another rating top 10 fast foods video xx
>ProllyHallie: NOOO DONT TELL ME ALFRED GOT A GF DAMN IT WHAT WOULD KIKU THINNKKKK
>#1romano’sgooner: Was that my precious husband Lovinooooo you cant make ts up❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
>$catjockey: Did ygs see that flash of brown hair too did anyone clip that or am i too high for this
>#1romano’sgooner: Ik that was Lovino I recognize that hotttt voice anywhereee
>Cool_red_Koolaid: hi guys i just joined can someone explain whats going on :,33
>4GU4: Hey Alfreddd lolll👀you should totally turn your face cam back on so we can see who that is lollll👀just letting you know lolll👀
>yulebell: So uh is he gonna continue this game or what🤫😪😪
>Berleezys5Head: To koolaid- Alfred has someone in his bed like any other normal person would and his parasocial fans are freaking tf out
“Is that.. Tomahto?”
A small voice asked from one of the monitors on Alfred’s desk. It continued, dripping with concern, “I don’t see him on the call. Is everything alright?” The blond scurried over to respond, knocking over a few of the abundance of snacks in the act. Lovino doesn’t need to guess who it was asking.
“Yeah dude! It’s–OW?!” A flash of white, seeming to be a pillow, came flying into view and knocked the glasses off Alfred the minute he turned back on his camera, “I mean–yeah, everything’s a-okay! And uh, pssh Tomahto? What are you even talking about, Keeks?”
The other end of the call sent back silence while Alfred was sweating buckets, busy fumbling with the arms of his screeners. He looked crazy compared to Lovino who’s, somehow, rather calm and unbothered in the midst of all of this (he was still trying to sleep.)
Keeks, or Kiku, had a look of confusion to which he tried his best to conceal, “Okay.. Well, when you do see him tell him I said hi. I keep trying to reach out to him but everytime I think we’re getting closer he retreats like a little cat..” He mumbled the last part unknowingly just loud enough for Lovino to hear.
Springing up off the mattress, an infuriated Italian opened his mouth to loudly tell him off, but luckily got interrupted by an even louder laugh, “BROO you’re actually SO funny! And you know what–”
The rustle of thin bedsheets in the background are vaguely heard. The Italian got up and whispered a few words in the blonde’s ear to which the viewers and Kiku could only piece together through Alfred's interjections:
“Ok, but promise me.. …Bro, you gotta promise.” “Uhuh.” “Not gonna lie dude…” “…ayo you’re lowkey tickling me? Imma touch you back–Oh.. Oh okay, geez I got it.”
•Live Chat:
>autumn_shin: ?????????????
>fukona_boy: GUYS I DONT THINK HES CLIP FARMING THIS TIME WTFF
>ALFREDS🐶DOG: Alfie touching someone whos not me is not allowed.
>positive.P0LLY: alfred ur glasses ugly as shit boa .
>clverandsing: Burger pls collab with Arthur again you guys are too funny tgthr 🥹🥹
>Omniscientrrreader4951: Why is there randomly a flood of new viewers mods can u put it to subscribers only omfg
>DONTgo2Molossia: Who the fuck do you think you are dipshit
>Jupiterisnot_stupider: I NEEEDDD TO C A KIKU CRASH OUTTTTT OUGFHH🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
>positive.P0LLY: long headed football head ah boa .
>Eysi: I cant wait to see the new alfred x kiku angst fanfics after this, LMAO✌️
>s3dativ2: Burgerkink lowk serving cunt in this lighting mm
He’s been streaming for however many years and still doesn’t remember to mute his microphone by now. Unbelievable.
His beaten-up gamer chair creaks as he rolls it in closer to the desk, “YO, Keeks, are you there?” He pauses to slurp up some hazardous drink that Lovino can guarantee is a one way ticket to diabetes.
“Let’s get back to kissi–I mean, KICKING these balls.. These soccer balls! Because Rocket League is so much fun, bro. Ahh the things I would do for you to..” Alfred’s eyes follow a figure off the screen, only ending by a loud door slam and a minor shake of his setup.
“Brahh, c’mon not again!”
The loud insufferable voice still clung to Lovino’s ears even once he was out the building and honestly he’ll say it was better than staying a second longer in that confining bedroom. How about you try to sleep while an annoying old dorm mate of yours horribly flirts with some meek and yet blunt Japanese guy. Not a fucking chance.