Chapter Text
He regained consciousness lying down on a gurney, his legs spread and knees bent slightly to meet the edges of the rails and crudely tied with gauze. A sudden jerk of muscles confirmed that the knots were much stronger than he processed with his blurry vision. His head ached just thinking. A dark figure shifted around and he felt weight press onto his stomach. The Joker was on him again and he was busying himself tying the Batman's limp left wrist to the gurney rail.
"Theeeere's my favorite Arkham pa-tient!" The, ahem, nurse cooed. His smile like a mockery of affection.
"I'm not like you," Batman managed to slur. His head was swimming. He could move his fingers if he tried.
"Oh shush shush shush, Batman!" The Joker patted a gloved hand against the Bat's cowl. "You were out for thirty minutes-- what a shame! I had to lift you up to this gurney aaaall by my-self! It was worth it, though, can't leave the patients just lying around the hospital floor!" He puffed out a breath of air. "What kind of place would this be?"
‘The kind of place you would rot,' Batman thought, his jaw clenched. He had suddenly remembered his unbound hand was indeed quite movable. His fist met the clown's jaw. A large crack echoed in the small dark room and the Joker turned back, snapping back into place like a jack-in-the-box. Batman curled upwards with what was left of his strength and slammed his forehead into the Joker's nose. Blood sprayed and the Joker tilted his head back to holler out laughter. Each punch felt distant and his arms were like jelly. The Joker leaned forward and struck him, hands immediately clasped down on the hero's shoulders. His fingers grasped and curled around the armour surprisngly well- or was he so weak he melted under the nurse?
"Now play nice, Bat man! We wouldn't want something to get ex-treme-ly out of control!" His feral green eyes shone like emeralds. Batman was dazed. His head was throbbing. His eyes cautiously followed the Joker's left hand. The man reached down to the hem of his skirt and hiked it up slowly, revealing a scalpel strapped to his pasty outer thighs by a garter. His skirt was lifted high enough for the Bat to sneak a glance at the hardening member Joker sported in his black lacy lingerie.
Lingerie?
The Dark Knight's cheeks were slightly flushed; thank God the cowl hid his pink face.
"Like what ya see, B-Man?" The Joker’s voice was deep and alluring. The Caped Crusader's eyes snapped up to meet the Joker's heavy-lidded dark circles. “I thought it would look great with my outfit." He wiped the blood leaking from his nose with an up-turned wrist. "And- and they seemed to attract your, ah, at-ten-tion... That's a plus." The scalpel quickly found its way towards our hero's throat. Batman wasn't sure what more to be stunned at: how easily the Joker's goddamn body distracted him or the fact the Joker got hard with just a few punches from the dark knight. God. He decided moving would be a bad choice at this time.
"You're sick." Batman leaned his head cautiously back to the pillow. He didn't want to see any of this.
"Now don't kink shame, Batman! I think you're the one who's sick; you're on the gurney and I'm the nurse, remember?" The Joker smiled and cocked his eyebrows. "You're starting to hurt my feelings, you bully! Need a little compensation for all this disappointment." The scalpel followed the Bat down, the cold blade meeting his warm skin.
"I’m not giving you anything,” the Bat started, “You have nothing to bribe or blackmail me with. You have no hostages. No henchman. You can kill me right now and your world would go under."
The corners of Joker's mouth curled up into an amused smile. "Are you reaaally not grasping the concept that I wouldn’t kill you? Stop making yourself feel so special!" The sedative felt like it was wearing off. He felt his lungs constrict. The Joker slipped his hands down to the Bat's wrist and pulled out more gauze to tie it with, slicing into the tape with his scalpel. He leaned to the side and propped his elbow on Batman's chest. The dark knight yelled in pain and to that the nurse jumped out of place.
"I forgot about your, uh, ribs. Sorry."
"What about my ribs? What happened!?" Batman attempted to wriggle out of his restraints.
"The sedatives must've done that to you. Made you… forget and all." The Joker placed his hands over Batman's wrists and squeezed them softly, scalpel in-between his gloved fingers. "We were..." His eyes rolled around in their dark voids. "We were on a roof. Yeah. I think on top of 72… Well I came up to you and stabbed your, uh, armor-- to see if it could hold up after all of the fisticuffs we’ve done. It surpiiiisingly went right through! Double sorry."
Batman felt his stomach plunge. "And how did I get--"
"I'm not finished yet," The Joker licked at his bottom scar. "So after all of that you still. Tried. To fight me! Blood was everywhere! Your, your blood, in this situation. You said you were fine, and I could tell immediately that you were ly-ing to me. Naughty little thing! So I tried to bring you down here, Batty man." His arm swung to gesture the dark room. "You put up a real good fight. I had to sedate you and I dressed up your pretty little wounds and here we are!"
"Did... you take off my..." He tried to ease his breath. The Joker wet his lips and patted the Dark Knight's kissable jaw.
"Your-- Your cowl? You get stabbed in one of your lungs, injected with enough sedatives to kill a fucking horse, tied up to a gurney and all you think about is your stupid cowl?" He continued giggling and shook his head. "No. No, you see, that would be cheating."
"You cheat outrageously."
"I atleast wanted a fight while I unmasked this 'Caped Crusader'. Would make it more ceremonial and all."
Batman sighed and looked around. The ceiling was dark and he could hear the sound of rain pummeling the side of the building. His head hurt so damn much. "You wanna see it? Your wound..." The Joker's eye were fixated on the bat's chest, hands were just inches away from it, almost hesitant. The air was heavy. There was another silence before the nurse snapped out of whatever fantasy he was in.
"I stitched them up. I am the nurse, anyway. Here I'll hel-p."
And before Batman could realize what was going on the Joker leaned in to adjust the headboard, forcing the other man into a sitting position. The Joker wrapped his arms around Batman's thick chest, fingers fluttering over hidden buckles and pulling the Kevlar back, throwing it to the side. Batman didn't protest. He watched as the Joker's eyes filled with wry amusement. His gloved hand stayed at the front of the wound, thumbing the edge of the bandage.
"It was deeeeep," the Joker growled, his lidded eyes focusing down on his hand. "I was afraid I killed y-" Afraid? Afraid? What the hell was he saying? His tongue prodded the edge of his mouth, the thought of himself caring for Batman made him feel stupid. The Bat's breathing had slowed down. Batman had felt a strange wave of calm and warmth when the madman had touched him. He looked down at the hand on his wound, the feeling was oddly intimate, but he welcomed it none the less. His gaze trailed up to the face of the clown. He glanced at the Joker's eyes, then at his mouth; the disgusting Glasgow Grin that was sliced into his skin. He thought about what had caused it; how tender and knotted it was, how it would feel touching it… The Joker seemed to be too distracted adjusting bandages because the Batman pulled himself up and met his lips with the Joker's. It was just a light peck- He was just so curious about how his scars felt, nothing romantic, he thought this to himself. The Joker froze; mouth slightly agape in some sort of surprise as he let the Bat's head tilt and his warm tongue glide past his chapped lips and against the inside of his scars. The Joker was surprised that he himself was the one to pull back, hands still at the wounded man's chest.
"Well, you're d...direct," He swallowed. His throat felt dry. Jesus Christ, this was ridiculous. "You still have, um, that... that medical taste in your mouth." He pulled at his collar and snickered. This was not what he planned. "I suggest you keep your distance, Bat-"
Batman crashed mouths together and interrupted whatever bullshit the Joker was ready to spew. He pecked at the Joker's cheek, running a trail of kisses and tongue against his scars. The Joker licked his mouth and pressed himself into the big bat, making his helmet lean into the gurney. If this was going to happen, The Joker was going to lead it.
"Gettin' a little friendly with your nurse," the Joker murmured and curled his mouth into a smile. "Thought you can sneak away from your next dose or something?" The man was grinding into the armor, body shaking with excitement. His arms were still wrapped around the bat and the red lips of his makeup were blotted and smudged. The hero squirmed underneath him, licking at the greasepaint that coated his own mouth. The Joker's gloved hand pressed against Batman, scrambling against the cold armor for purchase-- for anything really that he could remove without shocking himself.
"Dammit," the Joker cursed under his breath, "C'mon c'mon- there we go." There was a small click of buckles from Kevlar and the Joker giggled as he began working on taking off each piece down to the knees of the dark suit, boots still on and seemed too heavy to waste time removing. The Joker pushed the legs of the suit over the gurney and they landed with a heavy clunk. His dark eyes stared down at the erection in front of him.
"If only I knew bats could get this hard before," the Joker murmured, wetting his mouth. He leaned down and his lips met with the head of Bat's cock. Batman held his breath and squirmed under the criminal. He felt so vulnerable, so exposed. The Joker pushed down the bat with his free hand and licked the under side of his cock, hollowing his cheeks and downing again.
He suddenly pulled himself off, the cold air rising goose bumps on the hero as the Joker hopped off the gurney to fetch something. He came back moments later and climbed back up, legs locking against the other's and he lifted his skirt up to hold it in his teeth. The erection trapped in the nurse's panties was starting to lift the garment off. He slid them down and held their erections together, slowing stroking them with his gloved hand. He let out a shudder of relief and looked up to the Bat through his lust-filled eyes. At that moment Batman wanted everything from the Joker. The Joker squeezed out lube onto his latex-clad fingers and reached around himself, eyes closed for a minute and pushed two fingers inside. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, the Joker had finally gotten the two fingers knuckles deep and he scissored them in and out, breathing in through the damp fabric in his mouth. Batman couldn’t have been any harder at this point. He felt so impatient and yet he didn't want the Joker to stop. If only he could touch his cock, then he could watch the other man fuck himself with his fingers all day.
Eventually the Joker pulled them out and scooted back up towards Batman. He lifted himself up and steadied on Batman's bare shoulders, lining them up and then slowly sinking down, relishing the feeling and Christ-- he was thick. The Joker leaned in to touch foreheads and Batman breathed against him, teeth gritted, he wanted to fuck this man into absolute abandon. He never knew he could be so impatient with anything- ever. The Joker took his time, breathing small fluttering breaths against Batman. The dark knight gripped against the gurney bars and let out a jagged sigh of relief as the nurse met at his hips, Joker's legs shaking violently. He pulled himself up and slammed down, rewarded by the Batman moaning a profanity.
The Joker repeated the process, slow and tortuous as he was fucked into by Batman. "Take off your mask." He grinded his hips and Batman bit at his mouth, shaking his head no. "Come onnn," the clown persuaded inbetween angry breaths of air, "It'll be our secret, promise!"
"I'm not letting you near my cowl."
The Joker pouted and stopped, hands squeezing the Bat's shoulders. He sat there glaring daggers at him, he could wait here all day. He had wanted this ever since the vigilante laid Kevlar-covered hands onto him and he wanted it perfected to a T. Batman flexed his fingers and tried to move himself around but the Joker was like a block of cement weighing him down. He wanted to get off so badly. He couldn’t believe himself.
“On the back, just pull it up.”
“Cooperation,” the Joker stated contently as he lifted the cowl off from the Bat’s head. His eyes widened and his lips curled into a grin that spelled out scandalous.
“Bruce Wayne.”
He liked the sound of that name. It rolled smoothly out of his lips and he cackled. He brushed the billionaire’s matted hair away from his forehead, looking up and down his body.
“Don’t start,” Bruce said through his teeth, his head was low and at the angle Joker could melt into him just by the sight. He raised his body and rocked into him again, a whole influx of new information making him feel drunk with knowledge.
“God,” the nurse moaned, “Gotham’s playboy does a little dress-up as the Big Bad Bat? I- fuck, Bruce!- I cannot believe this!” Bruce’s face was red with embarrassment. His limbs were shaking and his whole body was radiating heat. The Joker’s hands would not stop exploring him; they left soft tingles into his skin and that just made everything worse for him. The Joker had begun picking up speed and leaned his head against Bruce’s sweat-slicked neck, smearing his greasepaint onto the billionaire’s skin. His words were intangible mixes of ‘yes’, ‘Bruce’, and ‘fuck’ and they vibrated into the Bruce’s skin so heavenly. His body twitched with each heavy lift and drop of the Joker.
"Take off these restraints."
"No can do, buckaroo."
"I let you take off my cowl. I let you bandage me up and you're fucking me."
"You mean I had to bandage you and you're fucking me."
Batman gritted his teeth. Damn clown. He gave the bars a good shake and then looked at the Joker.
"You could have let me die back there. You had the choice."
"Bat- Bruce. Baby. You're killing my boner."
"If you don't take off these damn restraints your erection won't be the only thing dead."
Joker stopped to giggle. "You're gettin' a little Two-Face on me, Bruce." His hands left the other person to peel off the bandages restraining the billionaire. Immediately Bruce twisted the Joker's hand behind his back. He hissed in air and laughed as he was turned over to get his hands bound with the gauze. "Ooh- Little Bruce-y wants to go by his way," The Joker said in a strained childish voice and giggled. "Alright, playboy."
Bruce flipped him over and crashed lips, bit and pulled at the skin and dove him tongue all around the other's mouth. He pulled back for a moment to catch his breath. "Shut up." The Joker was in awe. This was fantastic. Bruce was all over him and it was pure bliss. The billionaire's hands trailed down to the Joker's hips and gripped his pale skin. He aligned his cock and pressed forward, his whole body trembling. His stomach was doing flips and the Joker wrapped himself all around Bruce- or what he could. With two thrusts his hips met and he fucked ruthelessly into the Joker. The nurse hissed and twisted his eyes shut.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-"
The gurney underneath them creaked. Bruce was trailing his tongue over the the other's bare neck and he licked and pressed his teeth against it, ghosting bites and licking up sweat like an animal. The Joker only murmured and cursed to himself, the sensations proving too much for him. Bruce wrapped a hand around the clown's hard member and tugged at it as he pistoned in and out of him.
"Come on," the Joker murmured impatiently. "Come onnn." He leaned into Bruce and breathed against him, toes curling in his white nurse shoes. He was so close. "Fuck, Bruce, fuck. Come on. Just come for me."
Bruce had the Joker twisting and fidgeting underneath him. He thrusted one final time and came into the nurse, biting at the man's neck and muffling his scream of pleasure. It wasn't long until the Joker spilled his seed across the billionaire's stomach, body twitching and hands scrabbling against the gurney mattress. He opened his eyes and looked up at Bruce, tongue snaking out of his red lips. Bruce had already pulled out and was cleaning himself up, good boy, but he was forgetting something.
"Who knew this playboy was so good in the sack," The Joker exhaled. By the time Bruce went to open his mouth the nurse under him had gotten his hands free and he headbutted the Bat. "Just because we were gonna play your way doesn't mean I was gonna play nice-ly!" Bruce curled to the side and brought a hand to his head, spitting out curses and groaning. The Joker rolled off the gurney and scrambled towards a window, pulling up his panties and brushing strands of hair away from his face.
"Y'know, I forgot what the whole purpose of this encounter was but," he opened the window looked around, "it was fun playing with the Bat! I'll see you around, Batsy, you know I will! Maybe just you a- a routine checkup or something!"
And just like that the Joker had absconded, leaving the hero to pick up his scattered kevlar.