Chapter Text
Okay, Isagi thought.
The 276 losers had been given three hours to empty their rooms and leave the facility.
Three hours before Blue Lock officially entered its next phase.
Isagi leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.
The original storyline should've started changing around now. In the novel, this was roughly where the original Isagi began actively antagonizing Hana.
Petty comments, jealousy, passive-aggressive remarks…
Basically acting like a walking red flag.
The bullying escalated over time until it became one of the reasons Hana's harem started collectively wanting to throw him into traffic.
But now?
That wasn't happening because Isagi had absolutely zero interest in becoming a cartoon villain.
Which meant the timeline was already derailing.
A grin slowly spread across his face.
Actually. Speaking of too much… He needed fresh air and definitely new clothes.
The original Isagi's wardrobe was a crime against fashion.
He sat upright suddenly.
"...Wait."
He paused for a moment.
"Oh."
That was brilliant.
Absolute genius.
God he was so smart.
——————
Meanwhile, in our universe,
Hana was finally free.
Or at least as free as someone buried beneath enough paperwork to qualify as a government employee could be.
She stretched her arms over her head while walking through the facility hallways.
Finally done.
No more ranking reports.
No more contestant files.
No more elimination paperwork.
Today was a good day.
"Hana-chan." A familiar voice called from behind and she turned only immediately regret it.
Something hit her directly in the face.
"GAH—"
Her foot caught on itself and caused her to stumble. She flopped backwards and landed on her butt.
"What the—"
A brown wig slid down into her lap.
"..."
"..."
"...What?"
She looked up and froze.
Isagi stood there.
Except... Not really. His blue hair was gone beneath a brown wig, he wore simple black pants with a plain white shirt and a black denim jacket.
"We're going on a shopping spree."
Hana blinked.
"We?"
"We."
She pointed at herself with a confused expression and blurted out.
"You mean me?"
"I do."
"Why?"
"Because your wardrobe needs divine intervention and so does mine.”
"..."
"..."
"That was rude."
"It’s the truth, you’re welcome.”
Hana still wasn't entirely sure how she'd gotten here. One moment she'd been doing paperwork and in the next she was standing in the Blue Lock parking lot.
Isagi casually pulled out a set of car keys.
Beep.
A nearby car unlocked… A very expensive-looking car.
"Get in." He said as he sat on the driver seat.
Hana narrowed her eyes.
"Isagi-kun."
"Hm?"
"Whose car is that?"
There was a brief pause before the answer came in.
"...Aiku's.”
"..."
"..."
"...We're stealing his car."
"We're borrowing his car."
"Did you ask him?"
Silence.
“We’re burrowing his car without asking.”
"ISAGI."
"Get in, we're wasting daylight."
"WE’RE STEALING IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!”
…
Eventually she got in because she wanted to witness whatever disaster happened next.
——————
To her horror the drive was perfectly smooth.
No sudden turns or reckless speeding or accidental collisions. Nothing.
Isagi drove like he'd been doing it for years.
God knows how many cars he “burrowed without asking”.
"Okay." He said as he tapped the steering wheel. "We have a few stops."
"Such as?"
"A pharmacy."
Hana blinked before opening her mouth.
"A pharmacy?"
"Yup. We're buying supplements."
"...Why?"
"Because you, me, and a certain white-haired lazy sloth need them."
"Nagi?"
"Nagi."
"Fair."
Honestly, fair. That boy probably survived on convenience store food and dreams.
And his blood test results were like a nightmare. Zero vitals.
"Okay..." Hana said slowly. "With what money? The card you burrowed without asking?” She asked with a teasing grin.
Which earned her a deadpan expression.
"My card?" Isagi replied… asked?
"..."
"..."
"How rich are you?"
"Very."
"Oh."
The pharmacy trip was… Definitely something.
Isagi handed her a shopping list that looked like one of those cartoon lists that just didn’t ended.
"B12."
"Okay..."
"Omega 3."
"Uh-huh."
"Iron."
"Mhm."
"Magnesium."
"Yep."
"Zinc."
"Okay."
"Vitamin A."
"Sure."
"Vitamin C."
"Got it."
"Vitamin E-“
"Please stop."
The list kept going.
And going…
And going…
Hana stared at the paper then at Isagi.
Then at the paper again.
"Do we really need all of these?"
Isagi grabbed a basket. His expression was strangely serious.
"Yes. Because if I'm going to build an empire capable of taking over the industry, I want everyone functioning at one hundred percent."
Hana stared.
"...What?"
"What?"
"No. Repeat that."
"I said—"
"An Empire?.” She asked while trying to stiffle her laughter.
"..."
"..."
"...Ignore the empire part."
——————
The second stop was clothing stores and that was where Hana's suffering truly began.
"We're here." Isagi said as he opened his arm wide, as if introducing a game-changing plan.
The giant shopping center loomed before them.
"...No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Absolutely not."
"Absolutely yes."
Three or so hour later she was carrying eleven shopping bags. Her arms felt like they were gonna fell off. But Isagi looked like this was just the start.
She had lost the ability to resist him because at some point Isagi had bribed her with ice cream.
Twice.
The traitor.
From what Isagi remembered, Hana had originally taken the Blue Lock manager position because she wanted financial independence.
Because her family… Well.
"Traditional" was certainly one word to describe them.
Not the word Isagi would use but certainly a word. “Sexist” would be his choice of words.
The novel spent surprisingly little time discussing them despite them being responsible for half of Hana's insecurities.
That annoyed him.
So every time Hana tried putting something back because it was "too expensive" it mysteriously ended up purchased anyway.
Isagi was doing this for two reasons. One of them was that he needed an ally and the second was that he really wanted to help her out.
"Isagi-kun."
"Hm?"
"I don't need another jacket."
"You live in a country with winter."
"I already have three." She said as she dragged a hand down her face.
By the end of the afternoon, Hana was carrying enough shopping bags to qualify as a small department store.
They were finally going back to the parking lot.
“Let’s go to the Lego store there!”
“Isagi-kun!”
She was gradually dragged to the store even though she didn’t had the energy to.
She waited there as Isagi, the supposed industry brat went through the legos like an exited child choosing out his present.
“Look! Aren’t these pot plants so cute?”
“They are very cute.”
As if on cue Isagi darted toward the cashier, swiped his card and came back.
“Okay we can go back.”
“God finally! My legs are gonna fall off!”