Chapter Text
"Frankie," Gerard whispered, glancing up to see if the detention teacher heard him. They had been busted in the back of Gerard's car. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten in as much trouble for skipping first block if they hadn't been fooling around and smoking on school property. Since it was a first offense for both of them, they had gotten off easy with just a detention that afternoon to make up for the class they missed. Gerard whispered Frank's name, a little louder. Frank turned.
"What? You're going to get us in trouble again," Frank whispered back. Even though the words sounded rude, the smirk on Frank's face told Gerard he didn't mind.
"Come to mine after detention. Nobody is home." Frank wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. At this point, they were just talking at a normal volume. The detention monitor clearly didn't give a fuck what they were doing. She looked even more bored than they did.
"Can't get enough, huh? We got busted this morning!"
Gerard smiled slightly. "Well, yes and no. I'm scared to be alone." The smile slid off of Frank's face and he nodded. He promised himself right then that he would go to all lengths to make sure Gerard's urges didn't get the best of him once again.
***
"We can totally eat Pop-tarts," Gerard said to Frank as he unlocked his front door.
"Good, I'm hungry." Frank pushed past Gerard and sprinted into the kitchen.
"You act like your mom doesn't feed you delicious home cooked meals!" Gerard laughed as Frank tore into the box of Pop-Tarts. He grabbed his own pack. "You're not even toasting them, you savage." Gerard shook his head and dropped his unwrapped toaster pastries into the toaster.
"Putting them in the toaster is for chumps who aren't hungry," Frank said through a mouthful of food. "Instant gratification, my friend."
Gerard shook his head again as the Pop-Tarts popped out of the toaster. "You're a barbarian," he teased.
"A barbarian you like to kiss," Frank shot back. He finished his Pop-Tarts before Gerard even began his own.
"Fair enough," Gerard turned to the counter to begin eating his food. He felt two arms wrap around his waist and a chin settle on his shoulder. "Frankie, stop. I'm hungry," he giggled.
"I finished chewing though." Frank murmured as he kissed his neck. Gerard shivered and pushed his Pop-Tarts away. He turned around and faced Frank, who found Gerard's lips in a hungry kiss. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank's waist and tipped his head back. Frank's lips traveled down to the hollow in Gerard's throat where he sucked gently. Gerard moaned.
"Frank," he panted. "Frank, not in the kitchen. Let's go downstairs." Frank pulled away and nodded. Gerard pushed him back and grabbed his arm, tugging him to the basement. They stumbled down the steps and tripped over the mess on the floor. Gerard spun around to see Frank.
Frank kept coming forward and pressing Gerard backwards. Gerard felt the back of his knees hit his mattress--the same place he had sat the other day. He shivered and forced his mind back to Frank. Frank was looking at him through half-lidded eyes. He pushed Gerard down onto the mattress and straddled his hips.
"I'm not ready," Gerard blurted. Frank blinked at him.
"Okay," he said simply and began to climb off of Gerard. Gerard grabbed his hips and pulled him back. "Gerard, if you aren't ready, then this is really mean," Frank said, not unkindly. Gerard took a deep breath.
"I want to be intimate," he breathed, "but I'm not ready for sex." Frank smiled and leaned in to kiss him.
"I can work with that," he whispered into Gerard's ear. He continued to kiss Gerard, and Gerard-after a moment of doubt- kissed back. It felt good to kiss Frank, it felt safe. "I know you said you weren't ready for sex," he whispered. "But can I still touch you?" Gerard's rough intake of breath and quick nod answered his question. Frank placed his hands on Gerard's chest and slid down in between his legs. Gerard was suddenly hit by a wave of self consciousness.
"Frank, wait," he said again. He sat up and Frank looked up at him. He looked so hot, down between Gerard's legs with half-lidded, lustful eyes. Gerard took a deep breath-which was becoming a habit- and let it out in a harsh sigh.
"Gerard, if you don't want this, I understand. We don't have to." Frank stated, sitting up straight.
"It's not that I don't want it. It's just that..." Gerard hesitated, then let it all out in a single breath. "Idon'twantyoutolookatmyscars."
Frank blinked. "Gerard, I've seen them before."
"That's different." Gerard sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "We weren't being...intimate." Frank sighed back at him.
"Take off your pants," he commanded. Gerard stared at him.
"What? Why?"
"Just do it. We aren't being intimate now," Frank pointed out. Gerard frowned and pulled his pants off. Frank leaned up and inspected the scars. Then, he leaned down to kiss the scars. Gerard jerked away. He felt sickness well up in his stomach.
"Don't do that," he snapped. He pulled his pants back up and closed his legs, pushing Frank out. He drew his legs up to his chest.
"Why not? What's wrong?" Frank asked, confused. He didn't know why Gerard was reacting this way. He had seen posts and blogs singing praises about boyfriends and girlfriends that kiss the scars better.
"I don't want you to do that," Gerard muttered from between his knees.
"Why not?" Frank demanded. He didn't understand Gerard's defensiveness.
"Cause when you do that, I feel like I'm going to throw up!" Gerard shouted, standing up. "It's not romantic, it's not kind! It's embarrassing. You shouldn't even have to look at them, much less kiss them!" Gerard suddenly lost his heat and fell back on the bed, exhausted. Frank sat on the floor, shocked.
"Gerard, I didn't mean to upset you." He moved up to sit next to Gerard on the bed. "I just...wanted to show you that it's okay. That I understand."
Gerard scowled, his eyes still closed. "You don't understand. You don't. You think you do, but you don't." His face smoothed out, and he opened his eyes, allowing tears to fall.
Frank sighed. "Listen, Gee. I'm trying to understand. I'm trying my damnedest to help you, but you won't let me. When I tried, you flipped shit on me. I'm scared, as scared as you are. I don't want to lose my best friend. I can't." He closed his eyes. Gerard looked at him.
"I'm sorry Frankie. I'm sorry I yelled. I just...it makes me sick, you know? It makes me physically sick that you have to see them. It made me want to throw up when you tried to kiss them. It makes me sick just thinking about it."
Frank sat up and brushed the tears from Gerard's eyes. "Gerard. You could have just said. But I'm sorry too. I should've known. Forgive me?" Gerard nodded. "Good. I accept your apology, and we're moving on from this melodrama that is our lives." Frank joked. Gerard smiled.
"I am a drama queen." He giggled.
"God do I know," Frank groaned jokingly. He leaned down and kissed Gerard again. "Now let's go get the rest of your Pop Tarts. You must be starving."