Chapter Text
“Morning,” Jill shuffled out from the hallway connected to the bedrooms, finally emerging from the bathroom after Claire’d had her turn and moved to the kitchen. It was clear she was still half asleep, rubbing half heartedly at her eyes like even that was too much effort. The shirt she was wearing was different to the one she’d woken up in, and suspiciously similar to the one Claire had discarded in their bed to go get changed. Her lips tugged upwards at the thought of Jill stealing her clothes. She’d bring it up later, somehow. For now, she’d look on in glee. A yawn, and Jill made her way over to where she was sat, placing herself at the other side of the kitchen counter, the same side as the stove and all.
“Morning.” It was the first time they’d said something like that to each other in almost a month. Surreal didn’t even begin to describe it. Things were back to normal, the words slipping out her mouth like nothing had changed at all, yet things were entirely different at the same time, an alternate universe of sorts.
“Want me to cook?” Jill gestured at the stovetop behind where Claire sat, tone as casual as ever.
Something tugged in her stomach. This independence was miles different from the ability of the Jill she’d stopped speaking to a month ago. She was proud, of course, but equally a sense of guilt accompanied it, knowing she didn’t do anything to aid her, “I can help,” she started, making a move to stand up from the barstool.
Jill nodded, still half asleep, and turned to the fridge to grab some eggs, followed by rummaging around in the drawers until she turned back and produced some cooking utensils.
She made herself useful by toasting some bread for the both of them, as well as handing Jill stuff when she needed it, who actually ended up doing most of the cooking. “Is that my shirt?” She said instead, steering the conversation onto something a little less heavy, unlike the past few weeks.
At that, Jill turned and gave her a cheeky grin, “Maybe. Who’s to say?”. Turning back, she grabbed a spatula to shovel the now cooked eggs onto some toast resting on two plates, handing one over to Claire and moving to sit on the kitchen stool again, “I think it’s a little overcooked.”
Claire followed, “Nah, it’s great,” As it turned out, the egg was alright, all things considered. The yolk was intact, and gummy just the way she liked it, so really there weren’t any complaints. They ate in mostly silence, stopping to make a comment on the food or the weather every now and again.
Things were peaceful. It was probably just the calm after the storm, a honeymoon period of sorts — but still, Claire couldn’t complain. The light was streaming in weakly from the window like normal for this time of year, and the two of them were back being comfortable in each other's silence rather than tiptoeing around the apartment like it was a crime to even exist.
Jill pushed what was left of her bread around her plate, seemingly in thought, before finally opening her mouth to speak, “I think we need to talk a little more.” Her tone was matter of fact, levelheaded like she always used to be.
She nodded, “I think so too.” For too long they’d danced around everything important in their lives, choosing to live instead in a shaky and unsustainable bubble of bliss. Naturally, it didn’t last, and they’d just end up crashing and burning again if something didn’t change in the way they approached each other. Claire knew she was too wary with Jill. Despite how much the other woman hated it, she was walking around her on eggshells, and it had become blatantly obvious, especially leading up to her own blow up. Equally, she really needed Jill to
“I just… “ She looked nervous for a second, before taking a breath and continuing on. The therapy really must have been helping, she didn’t think she’d seen Jill self regulate in months - no, since she’d met her again at all. “What I said, about the training while I was under,” She looked Claire in the eye “Does it bother you, honestly?”
When Claire shook her head in response, she meant it.
“That’s not what you said then, though. I just-,” another glance to the floor, blonde locks falling into her face, “I want to know what you’re thinking, get on the same page,” She hesitated for a second, then continued on, “Even if you’re not okay with it, I’d just like to know.”
Claire shook her head again quickly, dropping her fork to focus better on the blonde, “I’m serious. I know I didn’t say that at the time, but I am. I think I was just shocked, or…” now it was her time to pause, searching around the room for an answer she knew was inside her all along. She sighed, “I was lashing out because I was hurt, and stressed. So, in some fucked up way, I guess I was trying to hurt you.”
Jill looked up at her, those eyes of her boring deep into her skull, before slowly nodding a little, “I get it, I think. Done my fair share of that over the years.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, I forgive you.”
If Claire wasn’t so exhausted from everything that’d happened recently, she’d burst into tears again.
“And I’m sorry too, for the record,” Jill offered a small smile, more relaxed and self assured than she’d seen in months.
Claire smiled back, “I know.”
Jill’s eyes were earnest as she looked into them. They were clearer than they’d been in months, things really seemed to be turning around. She smiled, fingers squeezing hers from where she sat, “So, you have the day off, right?”
“Thank God,” Claire huffed. Work really had been too much lately, the day off was needed - and well timed with Jill, honestly.
A giggle rang from Jill, “You wanna just stay in? Or we could go get coffee then come back here, it could be nice.”
“That coffee option sounds pretty good.”
“Knew it. Let me get some jeans on, I’ll just be a minute.”
“What, not going to take my shirt off, then?”
Claire heard Jill laugh as she flipped her off walking back towards the bedroom.
Coffee with Jill was nice, and the rest of the day was even nicer. They watched a film or two, played a little on Claire’s PlayStation 2, and just lounged around without much aim. It was simple, and equally one of the best days she’d had in a long time. It was the sort of day they’d have spent together before the responsibilities of life got in the way, back when she’d come down from college for the weekend and Jill’d go out of her way to make sure her off duty days coincided with hers.
Jill really was a lot more relaxed overall, a slack to her stance that wasn’t visible before. It was clear in the way she spoke, more certain than she’d been since 2006, and in smaller things too: the way she held herself, the amount she laughed, that intense look in her eyes that was more alive than ever. Her eating habits seemed a lot better too. They’d eaten breakfast together, and both had cake with their coffees. Her weight was back to normal too - at least visually so.
It made Claire feel calmer too, she hadn’t realised how much seeing Jill down had been affecting her own mood. An invisible weight she didn't even know had been placed was lifted from her shoulders, and life seemed to have hope once more.
Things weren’t perfect by any means, but there was clear progress being made, and that’s all she could really ask for.
—
2 December 2011
From: Barry Burton
To: Jill Valentine
Subject: In town.
Hey, Jill
It’s great to hear from you again. Yes, I know we’re emailing more now, but the point stands. Your silence was sorely noted for a while there.
Good news — I’ll be in the US soon. You still want to do that little get together you suggested? Of course, Claire’s invited too. And Chris, if he’s in the country.
Let me know, yeah? Hope you’re well and that recovery hasn’t been too hard on you. Moira says hi to Claire, be sure to pass the message on.
Barry
—
3 December 2011
From: Jill Valentine
To: Barry Burton
Barry,
It’s been way too long since we’ve emailed, Barry, it’s great to hear from you.
I’d love to get together! Let me know when you’re in town and we can figure out a date. Unfortunately, Chris is out of the country on fieldwork for who knows how long, so it’ll just be me and Claire, if that’s alright with you. We’ll bring wine to make up for it ;)
Recovery’s going alright, thanks for checking in. It’s a whole lot of boring tests and even more driving to and from appointments, I’ll make sure to tell you all the sleepworthy details soon. If I have to see another test tube, I think I’ll really die, lol.
Jill
P.S. Claire gives Moira a hi back, throw one in from me too :) <3
—
Claire looked over at where Jill was stood near the dresser and watched her brow furrow at her reflection, before looking away. It wasn’t something she could magically fix, but seeing Jill turn her nose at her own reflection like that still struck a cord inside her.
“You’re stunning tonight.”
“Thanks.”
The smile in Jill’s face was unsure, so Claire shuffled over, wrapping her arms around her waist and placing a kiss at the back of her head.
Jill still didn’t seem so sure, but her ears reddened nonetheless, and she leaned back against Claire, resting her head on her shoulders, “I’m not sure if I wanna go out, Claire.”
Her voice was shaky when she spoke, and Claire tried to be gentle when she replied, “Seriously?”
“No, I do, I miss Barry. I just- I just feel so ugly.” The confession weighed down on her shoulders even more, and she sighed, looking down at the floor like she wished it would swallow her up entirely.
“He won’t care about that, you know.”
Jill didn’t answer, instead continuing to avoid looking at anything altogether.
Claire gave her a minute, before stroking her arm gently, attempting to pull her out of the whole she’d fallen into, “How about we have one drink, and if you’re still unhappy, we’ll go.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Claire squeezed her hand, and Jill gave her a small smile. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing Jill so hesitant, so small. It was weird. She knew recovery wasn’t linear, but just as she was back to thinking things were going good again, she was reminded of everything and more.
Jill audibly inhaled, closing her eyes as she took the time to center herself. Quickly, she leapt up and grabbed Claire’s hand, heading for the bedroom door, “Come on, let’s go. If I think for another second I’ll be stuck here forever.”
—
“Glad to see you’re back to your old self again.”
“Hm?” Jill looked up at Barry from where she sat opposite him, next to Claire. She hadn’t been paying as much attention as she should have, clearly still feeling the insecurity from earlier. Claire tried to squeeze her hand supportingly under the table, but wasn’t sure how well she got her point across.
“Those emails we exchanged when you were back in hospital. I know you try to sound fine and all, but I’ve known you over 10 years now, you’re not that good.” He winked, but there was a look in his eyes that showed deep worry. Claire could tell, since she saw it in herself too, the effect of anyone who was close with Jill before and had seen her after.
Jill, who was clearly a little embarrassed, scoffed mockingly, taking another swig from her glass to play it off as much as possible, “I’ll hire you as my new physician then,” she responded dryly.
Barry chuckled, “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to spring that on you like that. Call me a sentimental old man,” He rose his pint class in a toast, “Still, here’s to your health. Glad you’re still kicking, Jill.”
At that, Claire leaned over from where she’d been listening before, “Cheers to that,” she said, bringing her cocktail up to meet Barry’s. Jill’s glass - and slightly pink face - rose to join theirs too, with the clink of the glasses meeting sounding out.
“Cheers!” Barry bellowed, and Jill stuck out her tongue.
The mood lightened quickly after that, with Barry insisting on ordering another round for them all. It was a good thing they’d gotten a taxi here, since the three of them silently agreed to get drunk like they were 20 and carefree again.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Jill announced, her warmth fading from Claire’s side as she got up to leave.
“We’ll keep the table warm, then,” Barry laughed.
Jill laughed, walking off to the bathroom.
Baret joined in, before turning back to Claire, that hidden worry in his eyes slipping out a little more, “She seems much happier, seriously. I was worried about her, before.
She nodded, “Jill’s a lot better.”
“And you? How’re you, Claire?”
“Better, too,” Barry didn’t speak, and she took that as an invitation o vent a little. If there was anyone she trusted to open up to, it was Barry. The alcohol helped too, of course. “Chris had me worried for a bit, with him just going AWOL and all. And with Jill being so sick on top it it… it was rough for a while.”
“I can imagine. I heard about Chris myself, poor guy can’t catch a break. He’s alright? Jill doesn’t seem too worried.”
She ignored the last comment, knowing Barry would probably have picked up on their tension already, “Mm, I think so. We’ll see when he’s home, you know Chris.”
Barry chuckled, “Unfortunately, all too well.”
Claire snorted at that, and they laughed together for a second before Barry got serious again
“Seriously, Claire, give yourself some credit. You’re a tough cookie.”
Something about the way Barry said those words to her struck a chord, like he was her father giving her a hug for getting good grades or something, and she felt herself tear up a little.
The past few months had been hard, harder than she’d let on even to herself, but things really were starting to look up for them now. She felt optimistic in a way she hadn’t before, and a settled happy future for her and Jill was in sight, albeit a while away. Still, it was something to aim for, as Jill had said, and aim for it she would.
The night went on smoothly, and they let loose in a way that the three of them probably hadn’t done since they were fifteen years younger and severely less traumatised. Three drinks turned into several, and Barry even coaxed Jill up to the stage for a round of karaoke at some point. Seeing Jill so carefree with her friends brought a special kind of emotion up in Claire. Things might be an uphill battle for them most of the time, but they’d climb it, and the times like these would all be worth it. Right now, they had a real shot at life again, she could spend the rest of her days with the woman she thought had left this world forever, and nothing could replace that.
Eventually, like all things do, the evening began to wind down, and Barry made the announcement that he was heading off. Many cheery hugs and promises later, it was just the two of them left.
“Ready to go?” Claire asked, smile on her rosy cheeks as Jill leaned into her without a care in the world.
“With you? Always.”