Chapter Text
Parrot
The days passed weirdly, after that. They were slow and agonizing, in a way, because he had no best friend to make them shine, but also incredibly fast. That was a blessing, at least. The huge, gaping hole inside his chest was unfillable. Spoke had come to visit, briefly, but had left in a hurry because Mapicc was missing, or something? Horace and Fymada had, too, at some point, but it still wasn’t the same as having Theo around. While his friends were nice and all, they didn’t have the same easiness to be around and talk to that Theo and Wifies had had (hehe okay bad timing).
He missed all the times with Theo, all the jokes, the laughter, the easy relationship. In he and Theo’s last moments together on the server, they had been closer than they had been in a while.
With all the stuff with LAW and the election and Cindercrest (he should probably check on that, shouldn’t he?), their relationship had been strained lately. Theo had confessed to him in one of their late-night sessions that he had been feeling used but useless. It had terrified Parrot. And it still did. But for different reasons. Because if that was what he was like with Theo, what would the coming days, weeks, months, years, be like? Would he get worse?
He didn’t once consider ending himself. He didn’t know if that meant he was numb, or he didn’t care for Theo enough, or something else. He knew what grief was supposed to feel like, all too well. So why wasn’t he feeling anything?
The drowning sadness that was supposed to envelop him, stealing his every thought, every breath, every movement, wasn’t there. Theo’s ghost wasn’t around every corner. Theo’s presence wasn’t haunting his dreams.
Because he never loved Theo enough.
“King Parrot?” King Parrot was snapped out of his thoughts. Void, where was he?
“Uh- yes?”
“You have a- uh, someone’s here to see you. Or, multiple someones.”
“Who?’
“OH, PARROT!” He sighed. Wemmbu. But who’s the other ‘someone’?
“BRO, SHUT UP! His best friend just fucking died!” Oh. Flame.
Parrot pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be fun. “Let them in.”
The guard obeyed, swinging open one of the heavy wooden doors to- Oh, the council room. That’s where I am. Just then, two literal demons burst through the opening. Wemmbu, a violet-backed starling and end demon hybrid, and Flame, a tiger and nether demon hybrid.
It was Wemmbu who stepped forward first. “…Parrot?” All of his previous silliness and loudness was gone, replaced by the tender, caring part of him that only a few people knew. “Are you okay?”
Parrot nodded. Then froze. “Not really.”
“Yeah, that’s what we thought.” Flame was speaking now, while walking towards Parrot as well. “I’m with Cindercrest… or, I used to be? I’m not really sure. But anyways, I heard about, like, you know,” he gestured towards Parrot, “and I tried to leave. Saps got kinda mad, and he, like, bro. He said ‘Go hang out with your bird friend, but don’t bother coming back’. So, I guess I’m not with them anymore? I don’t know.” Flame shrugged.
Wemmbu didn’t say anything about why he was there. He crossed the room and stood next to Parrot. He hesitated, for a second, and then wrapped Parrot in his arms. Parrot tensed, not wanting to relax into an embrace that wasn’t Theo’s. But, eventually, he gave out, and slumped, Wemmbu catching and supporting him steadily. He whispered in Parrot’s ear, “Sorry about Theo. I know how it feels.” And then he pulled away.
Leaving Parrot to wonder about that small, small remark.
“I am sorry, bro. Theo trained me, you know? I keep thinking about if I had been there…” Flame trailed off, his eyes finding the floor.
“Theo was an amazing fighter. He basically carried the LAW fight, with his carting. Nobody else got that many kills. Well, except for me, with my orbitals.” Wemmbu paused, seeming to consider something for a second. “He was only slightly weaker than me.”
Parrot laughed at that, for he knew that Wemmbu had said that exact thing to Theo about a year prior, to which Theo proceeded to cart Egg. That was just his personality, calm sometimes but with a strong and easily provoked temper. Theo was defensive and protective, which sometimes reminded him of Wifies.
For the first time in those three days, without even knowing it, Parrot finally let himself feel. Like Theo had told him to.
“Parrot, just let yourself feel for once. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be you. That’s enough for me.”
He didn’t even realize he was crying until he was being embraced again, this time by both Wemmbu and Flame. Finally, finally, he could cry for his best friend. Someone he had cared about more than his kingdom, more than his life, even. Maybe I did love him enough.
And then the regret flooded in. The sleepless nights rejecting Theo’s help. The days of signing papers and reviewing documents without Theo, even though he could’ve been there. The times he didn’t wave goodbye, or the times when he could’ve shown how much he cared but didn’t.
And the times when he thought he had actually lost Theo, and when he had come back, how he had acted coolly instead of launching himself into Theo, crying and telling him how much he cared. How worried he was.
He hoped Theo had known. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he did. And so Parrot finally let himself he held, albeit by the wrong people, but people all the same.
Theo
Parrot
It was the day of Theo’s funeral. Spoke was there, and Wemmbu and Flame. Horace and Fymada, Jumper and Minute. Kenadian and Wato, and even Rekrap, due to long hours of work for Jumper’s spies. The gravestone, which Parrot had carved himself in the long, tear-filled hours of the night, read exactly what Theo had wanted.
“Parrot, can I be the biggest bird now? Put that on my grave, will you? ‘TheoBaldtheBird, beloved friend, trainer, and the biggest bird.’”
Parrot was happy to honor one of his best friend’s last wishes, even if it involved admitting that he was a smaller bird than Theo. However, in all honesty, he knew that arguing with his friend was a lost cause. Theo would never have given up on getting that title.
Flame gave the eulogy. “TheoBaldtheBird, or as we called him, Theo, was an amazing person- well, er, bird.” A laugh from somewhere in the back row. Based on its sound-barrier-breaking capabilities, Parrot guessed it was Wemmbu. “He was one of the best in the whole server at TNT carting, and he trained me. And I’m a lot better for it. Both in combat skill and personality.”
Flame paused to look at his notecards.
“He had an easy laugh that was contagious, a permanent smile, and a temper that a lot of us can remember.” A pause. “And insane crashouts.”
Laughter from the whole group. Parrot remembered one time, when Wemmbu had gotten onto a happy ghast while Theo went to untie the lead.
“You-” Theo had to audibly stop himself from cursing- “lemme on!!”
“But I’m sure that he’ll be remembered for much more than his temper, or his carting, or his laugh. And I’m sure lots of people have many more stories to share. Any volunteers?” Jumper, Spoke, Ken, and Wato waved their hands around like crazy, looking like elementary school kids waiting for their teacher to pick them for something. Rek did the same, except just raising one steady hand in the air, shaking his head resignedly at the four grown adults next to him. “Yes. Rek. Thank you for being quiet.”
Rekrap walked up to the stage. There was no mic, really, just a small raised platform built of oak planks in a field of sunflowers. (They were Theo’s favorite flower.)
“I didn’t know Theo for too long. Only briefly, in the fight against the Mafia when we were in District 13.” He turned his head, making eye contact with every single one of them. “One time… that time when everyone was leaving? I stuck around outside the cave for a little while to see who left. And Theo… he was the last person to go. And I saw his expression as he flew off. I could tell, he didn’t want to go. But I bet he didn’t want to die, either. He wanted to be loyal. He wanted to help take down the Mafia. He just made a decision. Anyone else?”
Spoke ran up on stage, not giving anyone any time to object. “I fought with Theo. We both use- used TNT when we fought. And his was so much better than mine, I gotta tell you. Every time he exploded a bunch of randoms, there was this, like, wave of awe that every single one of us fighting felt. He got so many kills, like more than Flame and Minute combined, even.”
“Dalright, bro.”
“He was so loyal, you could see that just by looking at him. Especially to one specific person.” Parrot felt his throat close up slightly. “Parrot? Do you mind sharing?” He forced himself to nod and get up, legs trembling all the way to the stage.
“Theo was… certainly something.” Someone, probably Wemmbu again, snorted. “He was so loyal, as Spoke just said,” nodding to the voidling, “but he was so, so much more than that. Even though I must have pushed him away a thousand times, he stayed steady. He was just there. Through it all. He was patient. He was kind. He was supportive, confident, loud, funny… he was everything.” Tears were starting to flow down his cheeks, but he made no move to wipe them away.
“Parrot, just let yourself feel for once. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be you. That’s enough for me.”
“He was such a horrible cook, I think he even set water on fire one time. And one day, when we were choosing horses, he had tamed this donkey. He said, ‘Why doesn’t it let me put horse armor on it?’ (Someone please tell me the right quote, I’m too lazy to search it up.) And he named it Dingus. Theo was… he was my safe space. After everything with Wifies, I…” he shook his head, “He rescued me from Spawn. I had nothing but three golden carrots. Th- Theo was only in iron, but he managed to save me with almost nothing. I owe him my life. I trusted him with everything I had.” His shoulders were shaking now, and he was having trouble breathing from crying so hard. It was getting hard to see, too.
“I can’t even remember anything for a solid five hours after- after-” he tried to take a deep breath, but it ended up becoming a huge, hiccuping sob. “After he died. I just remember waking up in the Medical Wing, I don’t even know what kind of significance it- this has, I just wanna get it all out- anyway, the doctor told me I had a panic attack or something and passed out, and Theo- I can’t- I can’t stay conscious without him, what am I supposed to do-”
“…sorry, I can’t- sorry.” He walked down the steps to the stage, feeling everything, it was too much.
Fymada took to the stage next, talking about how he had helped stop the corrupt guard force in Capital City. Parrot just sat there, numbly, barely processing the words she was saying.
Even after everybody had a turn to talk, all Parrot had gathered was that Theo had been so important to everybody, not just Parrot, so why should he feel like this? Why was he the only one so affected? Sure, everybody shed a few tears eventually, but Parrot was over here having a full on mental crisis!
~~~
It was time to spread Theo’s ashes. Theo had told him once that he wanted to be cremated instead of buried, so that even in death, he could fly, free from the cold, hard ground. It was surprisingly symbolic for Theo, but, then again, that was what one of their last arguments had been about.
“Bro, sunsets are like a new beginning, you know? A new start. Peaceful. I think we could use some peace.”
“I’m supposed to be the one finding deep symbolism, not you,” Theo had argued.
“Says the guy who thought a donkey was a horse-”
However, more Theo-like of him was his next comment.
“I want to make everyone below me sneeze the shit out of themselves.”
That was the only part Parrot refused to carry out. He and Wemmbu, (being the only remaining ones with wings), took a portion of Theo’s ashes and flew far enough away before letting Theo glide onto the open wind one last time.
The other half, Parrot took himself and scattered them on a lake, their lake, the one where Parrot had almost drowned once (and Theo had saved him, not for the first time.) and where they had called themselves each other’s best friend for the first time.
Good times.
Parrot missed Theo.
Parrot still missed Wifies.
But they would always be a unit.
Parrot-and-Theo. Theo-and-Parrot.
Parrot-and-a-Wifies. A-Wifies-and-Parrot.
A dead bird still flies
A ghost beside his friend’s wings
A throne lays empty
Reckless laughter and
painful imagining what
would have been if not
The shine of three prongs
Flying through the air too fast
too fast to stop it
Void is nothingness
Nothingness is only the
possibilities
Sometimes I wonder
If I had been faster still
would he be with me
Balance is life. Loss
and gain intertwined in a
sickening pattern
Life is never just
could-have-beens. For everything
opens a new dawn.
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