Chapter Text
“Are you ok?”
Agott stands next to a fidgety Coco, who anxiously grips her wand as she contemplates a seal with an unfinished circle around it and looks up into the sky as if she was expecting for something to drop on her at any moment, she reaches for her hand. She caresses her knuckles with her thumb before their fingers intertwine, Coco sighs shakily before leaning her head against Agott’s shoulders. Both of them looking at the crystallized form of her mother, as if she was waiting with bated breath for the results of this attempt.
“I… I don’t know, I feel like my stomach is spinning”
“Whatever happens when you close that circle, I’ll be here for you”- Agott squeezes her hand and leans in to place a short kiss to Coco’s scarred cheek-“I won’t leave”. Coco smiles, though for a second Agott could’ve sworn she had seen something else in her expression, letting go of the gentle grip as Coco starts to approach the spell to finish it. She stops just before reaching it and after a couple of seconds she turns to look at her.
“Agott?”
“Yeah? Is everything ok?”
Coco’s eyes flash with something she cant quite make out, but it leaves as fast as it came before she gives her a radiant smile, “Nothing, I’ll close the seal now”. And Agott unknowingly mistakes it for nervousness over the spell Coco leans over.
Just as she starts to draw, Agott wakes up.
She slowly sits up on her bed, rubbing her temples with her hand, and for a moment the girl just looks around her room before her eyes fall catch the wand sitting beside her various books on the stone shelf on the other side of her room. The section is wide and thick just as if it was a pigment stone, the largest part in the tool; and while the barrel is smaller, its light blue color brings out the golden details over the wand.
This is not her wand, yet she has taken care of it as if it was her very own tool. Agott sighs before heading out of the room.
“And then?”
“What do you mean?”
“… Agotta be kidding me”
Richeh and Tetia look at her with crushed expectations, the moment they had spotted her, both of the friends had dragged her aside during breakfast eagerly asking for all the details of her trip, both eager to know of anything new about their old friend. So far they had given Agott a few things to take to Coco, either for repairs or small modifications, but even though Tetia had already seen Coco they still hadn’t ‘met her’ at the moment.
The pink haired witch had also been left with a strong desire to speak to her friend and her stomach churned with frustration towards how things had unfolded after Coco found the way to bring her mom back; the sensation had gotten worse as of late, she knew how risky it was for just one of them to be there, let alone all of them. But they wouldn’t be acting as if it was just yesterday that they all lived under the same roof, they just wanted to reconnect with Coco, happy to rebuild friendships from scratch.
She misses when her family was complete, when their teachers took them out to eat under the gentle shade of a tree, when she and Coco would have their energetic conversations about spells they wished to do someday, when they studied together in the living room, when Coco had come to her for advice and to try and make sense of those feelings she didn’t understand yet for Agott. Tetia was not ignorant of how Qifrey’s guilt ate him from the inside out, how Olruggio had even been sketching concepts of contraptions that could be useful to tailors, Richeh’s silent anger and Agott’s... situation.
They all missed her, they all wanted to have Coco back in their lives. And yet to even get a fraction of that they had to proceed with extreme caution.
Tetia wasn’t oblivious to Agott’s version of this invisible wall, to be so close to her but not allowed to reach out the way she clearly longed for, it pained her to see how the dark haired witch’s eyes showed the feelings she tried so hard to hide but just couldn’t. The day Agott had rushed through the front door of the atelier, announcing she had finally found where the knights had taken Coco and her mother, her voice so hopeful for the first time in a year. However, she dissimulated her discontent to the best of her capabilities although her very own roommate’s recent opinions on the matter reflected the words she kept inside.
Richeh simply stared at Agott, her voice remained calm yet once again, the weight of her tone just reflecting it, “So stupid…”- she mumbles before narrowing her brow in exasperation-“I already helped you confirm that the knights don’t show up in that town without reason. How would they know we’re friends with her again?”
“I just- I don’t want to risk it”
In a way, this wasn’t the same Coco they knew from a year ago. Agott had seen how she didn’t act the exact same way, given how people change based on their experiences and the fact that she couldn’t remember the last few years of her life were the explanation for it. Nonetheless, Agott could see the Coco she had come to know and love in there, even if she mostly acted as she did during her first weeks at the atelier.
“If you spend more time trying to keep this kind of distance you’re only going to hurt yourself”
Agott doesn’t answer her back and takes a bite out of her toast, Richeh also continues eating after a couple of seconds before a drop of jam falls on her dress. She grumbles at the stain as an idea pops in Tetia’s mind, “But what if we weren’t there to talk? What if on your next visit we all were interested in getting something extra for our wardrobes?”
“I really like this color! What do you think Richeh?”
“Hmm… I prefer this one-”
“I meant for me!”
Agott stood by them as the two younger witches browsed all the colorful possibilities of cloth before them. Coco wasn’t present at the moment in the shop, leaving the small group to try and make time for her to appear. She spotted Coco’s mother approaching them after bidding a costumer a good day.
“Glad to see you back Miss Witch, and I see you brought a couple of friends! What can I help these young ladies with today?”
Tetia stumbles a bit over her words, “Uh- Well, we are looking for… different things each, it might take a while…”
Coco’s mother smiles kindly at them before offering her help, “Anything in particular you’re looking for?”
The three teenagers exchange looks as it seemed their plan to stall had been scrapped and now Richeh stared at two different long sleeved shirts, internally debating which one to get or if she should get both, muttering something about the cloth of both shirts being comfy. Meanwhile Tetia was getting a dress that had caught her attention the moment they had walked in, as Coco’s mother folded it she asked the remaining witch for what she had been thinking of getting.
“And what about you… Agott, right?”
“Sorry, I’m still not sure-”, the bell on the front door rings, making the young witches turn their heads. They find Coco leaning against the door panting, with her hands on her knees. She lifts her head, to their concern, with an upset expression on her face before she notices their presence. Coco’s mother pauses but just as she’s about to say something the girl puts on a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“O-oh, you’re here Agott, I’ll be with you in a second… Are these friends of yours?”
Tetia and Richeh moved so fast next to her she would’ve thought they had used their sylph shoes, the pink haired girl flashing a brilliant and wide smile at the young tailor while Richeh fiddles with the end of her cloak.
“Hi! I’m Tetia, it’s nice to finally meet you”
“Hello, I’m Richeh… We’ve heard plenty about you”
Agott clears her throat, an embarrassed flush tints her cheeks for a second before she quickly adds on to her friend’s words, “I-I’ve brought some stuff of theirs here before, they liked your work and wanted to get some new clothes…”
“Stars above, could I sound any more awkward?”
Coco’s face lights up, leaving the remaining traces of her low mood behind, “Really? So that skirt I hemmed last week must belong to one of you. Oh, are you both witches as well?” A genuine curiosity emanates from her voice, it’s cheerful but with a hint of sadness still perceptible in it. Her mother clearly wants to say something but she refrains from doing so as it slowly dissipates, leaving her daughter to enjoy herself as she makes small talk with their new customers.
The four girls find themselves in a animated conversation after Richeh and Agott finally had gotten something for themselves, the former finally setting on getting both shirts and the latter simply buying a scarf for the upcoming, yet still far away, colder climate of fall. Coco seems to be in lighter spirits than earlier, attentively listening to a heavily modified anecdote of one time they had used magic to try to find their way back to the atelier after getting caught under a very strong storm, to various degrees of success. Although all four of them had been there, their retelling could only tell about their own muddy and cold results but the way Coco had been the one to rush for Olruggio’s rings to help her fellow apprentices to not catch a cold had been omitted from it.
The conversation shifted through various small topics typical of teenagers their age. Hobbies, like Coco and Tetia somehow having read the same book or Richeh perking up when Coco mentioned using really small crystals to decorate on a couple of tunics that had been commissioned to her mother for last winter. Agott observed the conversation between the three girls before her, despite her more relaxed manner she can’t help but still wonder what could’ve happened before Coco arrived to the shop.
As the sun slowly fell over the horizon, the three witches bid their farewells to the tailor in a dissimulated hurry, even if Agott could fly at much higher speeds she knew the feeling of wanting to avoid stopping their flight back home to cast light spells for the rest of their journey, but not before promising to come back.
“Bye Coco, let’s hang out again sometime!”
“Goodbye, take care…”
As Tetia and Richeh start walking away, Agott ignores the itching of the question on the back of her head, opting for a much indirect way to convey her words. “Good night… and remember that if you need help with anything, feel free to tell me so”. She watches Coco freeze for a few seconds, her fingers fidgeting with her sleeve before a sad smile forms on her lips.
“I don’t think you should be wasting your magic on something so trivial… but thank you for offering”
Before Agott can reply, Coco goes back inside the shop. Leaving the witch with an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Despite a lot of things inevitably changing over time, like how Coco let her hair grow past her shoulders and sometimes tied it up in a braid or how she was now slightly taller than Agott, there were little things that had stayed just the same. Like Coco’s tendency to avoid sharing her problems with others in what she deemed as ‘avoiding burdening others’ with anything that afflicted her. Agott frowns as she walks away from the shop, following her friends back home.
“Agott, wait up! Our shoes aren’t as fast as yours!”
She slows down, changing her position so she now hovers on the air as Richeh and Tetia close the large gap her shoes had built between them. The darkness of the night crawls over their surroundings, little by little, making the air colder and their vision limited. They are probably going to reach the atelier long after the last rays of sunlight disappear behind the horizon, much to their former masters’ worry, they would have to revise the logistics of the trip next time.
They resume their flight towards their destination, now with not so much distance between them as Agott maneuvers her feet in a way that prevents her from shooting away from them once again. Richeh breaks the silence a few seconds later, “Coco was acting a little strange, like something happened”.
“I know right? I mean, something felt off”
Coco’s words flash on Agott’s mind, the way she had no issue stating that her problems were not something worth sharing made her feel like cold water had been thrown at her, she remembers the traces of sadness she had seen in her eyes the whole time they had talked in the shop, “I tried asking her about it, something happened but she wasn’t exactly open to share”.
“Makes sense, right now we are people she just met and… you two are really just acquaintances at the moment”.
Agott decides to ignore the churning in her stomach as they continue to fly back home. Of course, despite becoming a regular she’s still a stranger to Coco, they didn’t know each other and yet she had gone prying on pure impulse because that’s the kind of fool she is.
“I’m such an idiot”
By the time they arrive it’s clear that it is quite late. They find Qifrey sitting in the kitchen, dinner already prepared for them, “Oh, I was starting to wonder if you three had decided to make camp and return in the morning. Please sit, you must be hungry from your trip”. He passes their bowls filled with stew, its smell making the young witches realize how empty their stomachs were at the moment.
“How are Coco and her mother doing?”, Qifrey’s voice carries a hint of apprehensiveness, his eyes slightly downcast, clearly trying to hide his guilt. Tetia is the first one to answer the question.
“They seem to be doing ok as far as we can tell, we even bought a few things from them today”
The conversation carries on, the four witches sharing an amicable talk as the stew is eaten little by little. As the night carries on Tetia and Richeh turn in for the night, leaving Agott and Qifrey on their own in the kitchen. Silence fills the air in an almost uncomfortable manner, Agott glances at her former master with a sense of guilt.
They had a small rough patch after Coco’s memory was erased, Agott had been angry at everything related to that, she had been angry at the knights, the rules of the pact and partially at Qifrey… Even if it had been Coco’s request for him to put the spell against her head, their bond had strained since that day.
He clears his throat to break the silence, “I can take care of the dishes, why don’t you go ahead and sleep”
Agott remembers with regret how she avoided him for days, talking only when absolutely necessary as she buried herself in her studies and her search for Coco’s whereabouts. The sadness and anger fueling a self-imposed isolation from the rest of the atelier, thankfully her sister apprentices and masters did not allow for her to once again build thick icy walls around herself, even if the awkwardness was still present and even if Qifrey’s guilt towards what he had done to Coco remained… Her voice comes out strained with emotion, her eyes not fully looking at him.
“I… was wrong for blaming you… None of us was winning in that situation, no matter who did it, the results would’ve been the same. Although you were the kinder option, otherwise I doubt we could’ve- I just wanted to say that my resentment was wrongly placed yet you still did your best effort to guide me… I’m sorry”.
Qifrey lets out a shaky sigh, Agott raises her head to look at him, finding the older witch leaning against the table, covering his face with his hands. The couple of seconds that pass feel as if time had decided to freeze, he lowers his hands, letting the pained smile on his face be fully seen by her.
“Thank you for your words Agott, but… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully forgive myself”
The sky tints the atelier’s surroundings with a hazy blue as the sun is still waiting to appear behind the mountains, the cold air makes her breath form a small cloud as she waits for Olruggio to come out of the atelier, he steps out a few seconds later carrying a couple of contraptions on his arms, ready to set out to a nearby village located to the east.
After graduating, their master and Watchful Eye had offered them to stay as long as they wanted while they established themselves as fully fledged witches. Richeh borrowed Olruggio’s workshop to create her contraptions while she saved up money to get her own. Tetia had just returned the day before they all visited Coco from her first travel around Zozah, although it was a short trip the girl happily regaled the atelier with stories of her travels, happily twirling her two-pointed cap around. On the other hand, despite already being able to exert her role as a Watchful Eye in other ateliers, Agott had decided to stay and help the nearby towns and villages with next to her former, unofficial, second master.
“This bridge is almost done stabilizing, please go ahead and check if everything is in order”, Agott finishes the spell she had made to hold the column in place before following Olruggio’s instructions and using her shoes to make a quick jump towards the village’s plaza, where the residents had made camp since they had been affected by a flash flood the night before. The medical tent held a few residents that had been wounded, who luckily didn’t sustain any critical injuries, while the rest of the plaza was occupied by the still agitated residents. The moment they arrived to the affected place, Agott and Olruggio had drawn up a spell to shield the plaza from the drizzle that had carried on after the flood, making it a warm and dry place for the disaster’s victims to recover.
As she walks through the plaza she sees families trying to keep a lighter mood when she notices a pair of children, a boy and a girl, kneeling by the edge of it, both looking at the remains of a house in the distance. The boy holds onto the girl's arm crying and the other child clenches her fists with frustration. Agott stops her ‘patrol’ and walks towards them, the children notice her presence and the crying child hiccups before his trembling voice reaches her ears.
“Miss, are you one of the witches that came to help us?”
Agott kneels to meet their gaze, keeping her voice in a gentle tone, “I am, we are almost finished with the bridge’s reparations but I came here to check on everyone… Are you two alright?”
The boy wipes his tears and nods his head, the girl now wraps her arm around him in a hug, “Me and my brother lived there with our grandpa, he got hurt getting us out… the doctor said he was going to be ok but we were so scared, it was so dark-” the girl fights back her sobs, holding her brother tighter.
Agott fishes inside her pockets under her cloak and starts to prepare a spell for them, “I see, you both are brave children”- she closes the circle and a few pieces of light shaped as small birds fly gently around the children- “here, these little creatures can keep you company, it’s still quite dark in here”
The children stare in awe at her spell, the girl timidly reaching for the nearest one, the bird lands for a few seconds on her hand before chirping and carrying on with this flight. The children start to smile, leaving their worry aside for a moment before an excited yell breaks from behind them. A few children had run towards the lights, curious and excited over the magical display. Before Agott knew, she was surrounded by children eagerly asking all sorts of questions.
“How pretty!”
“My cousins told me they had seen a witch doing shiny animals one time, was it you Miss?”
“My big sis told me about it too when she visited!”
“Can you do a dragon? I like dragons”
“Do a scalewolf! … please!”
Agott had become somewhat known for her light spells shaped like animals over the recent years, using them as a source of comfort for those who needed it, cherishing that feeling she had discovered long ago from drawing for other’s happiness. She entertained the children for a while, their families watching them with a certain joy of their own.
Later, Olruggio sat beside her and handed her over a piece of bread with cheese on top. It had been a while since the rain had stopped, making it safer for them to try and do parts of the major repairs on the town, the houses themselves were being repaired by the townsfolk. Neighbors helping each other in times of crisis, sharing their food and supplies with one another, motivating each other to keep on going.
“How have you been doing Agott?”
“Well, I’m still a little cold but-”
“I meant how have you been feeling these days… I’ve noticed that sometimes you look down and melancholic, specially after you visit Coco”- Olruggio leans forward, placing his hands on his knees- “You’ve just recently tried talking to her again, right?”
“I’m alright…” - He raises his brow with doubt, making her sigh - “I just- I’m not really sure on what to do. I know I should keep a distance, considering the circumstances of Coco leaving her life as a witch with us a-and I’m truly happy that she managed to get her mom back… But I think something is happening to her and why would she trust her troubles to someone that she’s just acquaintances with…”
His eyes show a mixture of concern and understanding, even if he had been unsure of her actions at the beginning, he found himself thinking of how life had been for Coco ever since they last saw her. He understood the pain of powerlessness closely even if it was different from Agott’s experiences, but he would make sure to be there to accompany and guide her if she wished so, at the moment he would offer her something he had always given to those around him. A solution cut from the same branch as their problem.
“Well, if I recall correctly they never really put down in paper that none of you could befriend her again, did they?”
A new week had come around sooner than expected, as all weeks do, and with it a newly made list of chore distributions among the residents of the atelier. Agott was assigned the task of cooking up their lunch for the day, which is why she’s standing in front of a currently roasting carapace yam, checking on how much longer she needs to keep it on the fire. As she steps back from the heat for a moment her mind wanders to her current predicament, ever since she had returned with Olruggio from that village she had been trying to come up with something to try and start to become friends with her once again, but all things that crossed her mind seemed the wrong answer.
Try to wiggle her way into hanging out? No clue on how to do that without making it awkward. Try asking directly? How old is she, five? She sighs for what feels like the hundredth time, she looks around the kitchen as if the answer to her predicament would materialize in front of her. Instead she finds another letter she has to respond to, another letter to solicit her services as a Watchful Eye, another rejection letter she has to write up. Despite everything that had happened Agott still had gone and became one or well, at least in name. She simply didn’t make use of her new title, stating continuously that she was already occupied with other works and duties despite receiving numerous letters that solicited her services in ateliers around all different parts of Zozah, much to the exasperation of whatever witch that was in charge of sending her all those letters from the knights moralis.
Agott had simply done it to keep her part of a promise that just wouldn’t be completed, her mind wanders back to the night the idea had been brought up at first.
Agott looks around her, she’s surrounded by thousands of shadows that tower over her, she cannot make out who they are supposed to be but it is quite clear that they belong to various witches, they’re speak in murmurs, low enough for her to not be able to understand them but she can’t shake the feeling that the murmuring is about her. The hushed incessant conversations flood her ears, deafening any other noise, they clash on her ears as loudly as raindrops against the glass of a window during a torrential downpour. Then, a clearer voice cuts through the noise, but instead of relieving her it delivers one of the cruelest sentences that had ever been spoken to her.
“I had high hopes for you, but you’ve disappointed me Agott. You’ll not be my apprentice, we’ve no need for dull children in this family”
She turns in the direction of the voice to respond but instead of a shadow resembling her mother, she finds herself standing in front of rest of the atelier’s residents. The distance between her and them is strange, feeling near enough to reach for them and yet unable to make out the expressions on their faces.
Somehow both masters Qifrey and Olruggio now stand right in front of her their voices are wrong, distorted, simply not theirs, “Miss Arklaum, your skills are simply… not enough for you to pass the third test… let alone the fourth one”
She tries to speak once again just to find herself unable to even utter a single noise, she feels as if she’s being choked before she loses all strength in her body, making her fall to her knees, making her feel as small and defenseless as before. Her sister apprentices are now standing around her, their eyes filled with disdain and coldness, accompanied by the harshness of their voices.
“All those tests, always doing all kinds of spells and for what? To fail right when you’re so close?”
“Can you even really help others like this? Or even try to take on the Librarian’s Trial?”
“Are you even worthy of being called a witch?”
Agott falls from her bed, the impact against the floor awakening her along with the thundering sense of dread in her heartbeat. In her daze she tries to get on her feet just to trip over the blanket that had wrapped itself on her legs, she groans as the stuffiness of the room starts to make her even more uncomfortable along with feeling like her heart will burst out of her chest at any moment. She needs to get out.
And that’s how Agott now finds herself sitting in the darkness, since it’s still clearly hours away from sunrise, on the highest spot on the window not quite looking at anything through it. Her legs dangle over the plank’s edge, restlessly twitching her fingers and unable to find a way to calm her heart’s frantic rhythm despite having spent the last few minutes taking deep breaths, as shaky as they might have been, trying to shake away the lingering dread so common from nightmares. She closes her eyes, leaning back against the wall to no avail.
Then a gentle light appears by her side, making her open her eyes to find small lights in the shape of owlcats floating up to her. Her eyes follow the luminous trail down to its source, where she finds Coco holding a pen and paper, smiling up at her. Agott joins her shoes to be able to float down, a single question in her mind.
“Coco, why are you-?”, she stops when she notices the state her roommate is in. Cold sweat on her forehead, trembling hands, a slightly strained smile and restlessness flooding her eyes. The girl averts her eyes, the lights around them fading little by little, her voice carries an apprehensive tone.
“I just”- Coco’s voice breaks slightly, making her stop for a moment to take a breath- “I couldn’t sleep well”
Agott sighs in understanding, “That makes two of us”.
They had sat down next to each other by the lower windowsill for a few minutes by now, a comfortable silence shared between them as they pass each other the pen to draw a few more animal light spells, both in a calmer state than before. Coco closes a new seal and a small myrphon flies up to join the rest of their glowing menagerie, she breaks the silence with a softly asked question.
“Do you think I’ll be truly able to find answers in the tower? What will I do if there is truly nothing to be done?”
Agott turns to look at her, in her face she cannot find a trace of distress but melancholy towards the possibility of never being able to take back what she had accidentally done to her mother. Before she can even think of the words she could use to answer, Coco keeps on talking with a sad smile on her face.
“I’ve thought of it before, of not being able to fix my mistake… And I started to wonder, what will I do then? I thought of wandering the world. Helping as many people as I can, however I can… I could even prevent other kids from buying picture books from strange looking witches, so they don’t do the same I did”
Agott stays silent, her hand slowly reaches for Coco’s, her fingers bump gently against it, tentatively asking a question without a word. The girl turns her hand, softly clasping together their fingers. To Agott’s surprise she leans against her, placing her head on her shoulder, as she carries on, “Or I could even be a teacher, helping children to become the best witches they can, just like master Qifrey. I could take in those that are having trouble, those that need a helping hand… Though, I don’t think I would have an atelier in the Great Hall, no, I would like to be on the surface, maybe I could build one on a big hill? Hmm… I would need a Watchful Eye-”
“I could help you with that”
Agott doesn't even notice when the words left her lips for a moment, then Coco slightly lifts up her head to look at her and she catches up on what she just had blurted out without a second thought, her face blushes with embarrassment while Coco giggles with endearment before returning to her spot on Agott’s shoulder and squeezing her hand. The black haired witch’s heart once again beats thunderously but not from dread but the warmth that has been familiar to her for a time now. The spells they cast dimming little by little above them, leaving them in a light reminiscing of a fireplace slowly running out of flame. They stay in that comfortable silence again, drowsiness trying to drag them to slumber once again, Coco yawns before responding to her accidental offer, Agott’s eyes feel heavier by the second.
“We could help each other prepare for that after the fourth test, you could take the trial when I take the fifth test… that way… we…”
And so both apprentices had once again fallen asleep, making promises for a future that, at the moment, neither knew wouldn’t come.
As she pulls out the yam from the fire, she decides on taking the slower plan, trying to expand from small talk with Coco on her next visit. She still wasn’t sure of what she could say to nudge the conversation that way but she could work with the time she had. A couple of days would be more than sufficient… and she could also prepare a little something for her with the leftover ingredients from the dessert they had a couple of days ago.
The afternoon sun shines on Agott as she starts to reach her destination with the crippling sense of not being sure of what to do. She revised her mental list of possible conversation topics on her way there, squashing down any thoughts that second guessed them, and reminding herself that this was Coco. She wouldn’t chase her away for a clumsy attempt at a bigger conversation, she had talked to her about an anecdote just last week… Albeit it had been Tetia’s work on how their conversation had stirred in that direction and she wasn’t exactly sure of how to do the same.
The town slowly comes into view prompting Agott to control her speed a bit more, only for her to accelerate when she spots something that makes her head empty out to make way for the infuriated hurricane of thoughts that now fills her mind, blood boiling, as she witnesses Coco being shoved to the ground and laughed at by a few other kids that seem to be around their age.