Chapter Text
“I don’t see what this has to do with rehabilitation.” Haruhi commented to Tamaki as she hung upside down in the Avenger’s gym, joining her teammates in observing the black-clad figure below her. Not that she really minded the “Rehabilitate-Nekozawa-Into-A-Contributing-Member-of-Society” program, considering the role he had played in her own current predicament, but even with her spider-given agility she couldn’t see holding that pose for more than a few seconds. Honestly, she wasn’t even sure what the point was, it certainly didn’t appear a balanced position with his leg stretched out like that, and it hardly seemed a practical pose to insist on the magic user mastering for combat.
Sadly, the longer she remained with the Avengers, the more she found herself the voice of reason and restraint for the team and a sorely needed one at that. The others really had no idea how normal people lived or worked, and seemed primarily concerned with charming the media or ensuring photos were taken from 45 degrees on the left. The most realistic concern she’d heard any of them mention, was their fears over Kyoya’s current temper over their merchandise sales leveling off - although still well above the profit margins of most large corporations. She would have to admit that the near constant threats of leaving them all to live off of ‘commoner’ coffee were beginning to wear on them all.
Tamaki was nodding in response to her comment, which didn’t do anything to reassure her. “I have to admit that I had my doubts at first too”, he said buoyantly, his face full of pride and exuberance. “But the twins assured me that this is a very successful Asgardian rehabilitation technique!”
“He does look really, really sorry.” Honey suggested as Mori nodded his silent agreement from beside him.
“If he’s able to hold that position for much longer” “We might have to call him Spiderman.” The aforementioned twins joked, glancing up at Haruhi to gauge her reaction.
“That wouldn’t bother me,” she assured them, surreptitiously preparing to web Nekozawa, when - not if - he collapsed, as the ex-supervillain’s legs started trembling violently. “It doesn’t matter to me what people call me.” She continued.
“But Haruhi, you-” Tamaki whined, before seeming to catch himself. “I mean Spiderman is an integral part of the Avengers!”
Haruhi really didn’t understand why their team leader seemed to insist on pretending they had successful secret identities, especially as none of the others really bothered with it; in fact, everyone on their team, herself and maybe Mori excepted, seemed to go to great lengths to be readily recognisable in public. That being said, she did appreciate that her identity as Spiderman did save her from the media focus that would be associated with being the sole female hero on the team.
“So, what are we going to call him when he joins then?” She said, trying to bring the conversation back to the point at hand.
It seemed to be quite clear to the team without anyone needing to discuss the situation that that’s what the endgame of this ‘rehabilitation program’ would be. In fact, they’d all given into the inevitable shortly after breakfast when they’d been confronted with a tearful Captain Ouran - “He was just doing it for his sister!” - dragging along an admittedly shamefaced and repentant Nekozawa. In fact, watching the magic user tremble in his crouch, it appeared to Haruhi that he certainly looked very repentant, possibly about a great many things.
“We should call him Black Widow!” Tamaki suggested, obviously having gotten caught up in the theme. “Since he wears black and then Haruhi wouldn’t be the only insect-”
“Spiders aren’t insects!” Renge corrected over the PA.
“On the team.” Tamaki finished gamely, although he shot a pleading apologetic look at Haruhi, who elected to ignore him.
“Nee Suoh-chan, are you sure?” Honey asked, as he walked over to tentatively poke at Nekozawa’s side as if checking for an illusion. Perhaps surprisingly, since an illusion was a possibility after all, this caused the black-clad teen to lose his precarious balance and collapse, but he was saved from falling ontop of Honey and the likely internal damage associated with causing the smaller teen to Hulk out, by Haruhi quickly webbing him away and sticking him to the wall.
“See!” Tamaki shouted as he bounced over to their newest member. “Caught up in a web just like an insect!”
“Spiders aren’t insects,” “Which you’d know if you’d spent more time with Haruhi.” “Like us”, the twins finished smirking evilly at their team leader, who, for once, was too caught up in his excitement to notice.
It was a testament to the newly christened Black Widow’s repentance (or exhaustion) that he merely nodded along with the pronouncement of his new call sign before collapsing against the webs that held him to the wall unconscious.
Haruhi then turned her gaze over to Kyoya, who had stayed disconcertingly silent throughout the whole ordeal. She assumed he’d surely he would object, since everyone was likely to assume Black Widow was a female hero and Ironman’s creator had already complained several times about the difficulties in keeping her gender under wraps, usually using it an excuse to increase her team debt.
“The media will undoubtedly be overjoyed at the Avengers moving to embrace an equal opportunity policy with their membership and giving young women everywhere a positive role model. I mean after all, everyone loves a redemption story.” Kyoya smirked up at her, before making a series of notes on his ever present tablet. “In fact, it appears we have a press conference in 15 minutes to announce just that fact, as well as the launch of a new line of merchandise geared towards girls and women aged 5-17, which we’ve been sorely lacking up until now. I’m certainly hoping that you all were planning on attending, but don’t feel like you need to comment.”
Haruhi watched the Avengers’ shadow-leader corral the rest of the team into leaving for the conference before dropping to the floor to follow along. She considered releasing Nekozawa, now Black Widow, but she wasn’t cruel enough to subject him to the media storm that would likely follow... just yet anyways.
A rather heartening thought occurred to her as she pulled hercowl down over her features though that at least all those costume redesigns the twins had done for her wouldn’t necessarily be going to waste.