Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Mako, at least, remains optimistic. While Chuck avoids them, even going as far as to sleep in the attic during the day again, Raleigh starts to seriously question why he’d agreed to get in touch with Herc in the first place. But Mako tells him that it was the right thing to do, that she’s glad it happened. Her confidence isn’t as infectious as Raleigh wishes it was, but it does help in its own way.

A few hours before dawn early Monday morning, Chuck finally wants to talk about it. Raleigh’s in his room, sitting at the end of the bed and going through his hospital contacts, getting rid of all of the ones that are beginning to be a hassle, all the people who are either starting to ask questions, or worse, starting to ask for more money. Chuck wanders into the room, soundless, save for the click of the door as he shuts it, and Raleigh glances up at him, mildly surprised, as it’s the first time since they’d called Herc that Chuck’s stepped foot into the room. He keeps his eyes on Chuck only a moment, and then pretends that he’s more interested in his little black book – if there’s one thing he knows about Chuck, it’s that Chuck hates to be looked at expectantly, hates for people to stare at him.

Chuck doesn’t say anything at first. Without even looking at Raleigh, he walks around to the side of the bed that he normally prefers sleeping on, and Raleigh feels the mattress shift with the added weight as he sits down. “He said Tuesday?” he asks. He doesn’t need to explain who he’s talking about.

“Yeah. I don’t know if that means he’s going to get in touch with us tomorrow or what…” Raleigh says, and he glances over his shoulder only to be met with the sight of Chuck’s back.

“Nah, if I know my old man, means he’s going to be arriving in town tomorrow. Give you a call when he touches down,” Chuck says with a snort.  

“That’s a good thing, then…. Right?”

“Easy for you to say.”

“It’s really not. Your father probably hates me – and he has every reason to, on account of me not telling him for like five months that his son wasn’t lying dead at the bottom of the ocean. I should have tried to contact him sooner. Might have done you some good.”

Chuck spins to look at him, and Raleigh meets his gaze evenly. “What’s that supposed to mean? What? Like I wouldn’t have killed those people if you’d called dear old daddy for me?”

“Maybe,” Raleigh says coolly.

Narrowing his eyes, Chuck turns back around. Raleigh stares at the hard line of his shoulders, and then he stands up, closing the address book with a snap. He shuffles across the room to place it on the dresser, while trying to ignore the fact that his list of contacts is growing shorter and shorter by the day.

“I didn’t tell him about any of that,” Chuck says suddenly. “I didn’t tell him that I’m – that I’m a killer. I just… said I wasn’t human anymore. That I’m not dead, but not alive either.”

“What did he say?”

It’s like Chuck’s pretending not to have heard him – it takes him a second to answer. “He sorta just brushed it all aside, actually. Everything I tried to tell him, he just brushed it off. Kept saying my name. Asking if I was… real.”

Raleigh closes his eyes. Because he really doesn’t want to think about what it must have done to Herc, having this sort of bombshell dropped on him so out of the blue – no matter if it was ‘good’ news or not. And he can’t comprehend what it must be like for Chuck, to have to try and explain something even he’s not sure of. Like always, Raleigh blames himself. If only he hadn’t waited so long, maybe this could have been easier.

“Raleigh.”

Chuck’s tone is so serious that Raleigh turns to him, surprised. It’s rare for Chuck to say his name like that – it’s usually sarcastic, or angry, or condescending, or any combination of the three. Chuck’s still on the bed, his shoulders hunched and head hanging, and he’s staring sullenly down at the floor, with his arms resting on his knees. He might as well have not said Raleigh’s name at all, because he doesn’t look up, and he doesn’t speak. Raleigh hesitates, not knowing whether or not he should prompt Chuck to go on.

At last, Chuck asks, “What if when he sees me, he’d rather I was dead after all?”

And Raleigh doesn’t think he’s ever heard him sound so small before. “Chuck….”

“What if he takes one look at me and wants nothing to do with what I’ve become?”

“He won’t.” Raleigh returns to the bed, coming to a slow, almost uncertain stop in front of Chuck. He studies him for a brief moment and says, “You’re his son – his only son.”

“But –”

“If I found out Yancy was out there, if he was like you – not dead, but not alive – I’d be thrilled. No matter what he was or what he’d done, he’d still be my brother, and I’d do anything to have in my life again. Even if it didn’t work out, I’d be grateful for just another chance to see him. Your father won’t care what you are, you’re his kid before anything else.”

Chuck looks up at him, eyes wide and searching Raleigh’s face like he’s looking for the answers to unasked questions. “You reckon maybe he is?” he asks. To clarify, he adds, “You think Yancy could be out there somewhere?”

Raleigh had toyed with the idea a lot in the beginning. After Chuck had arrived, Raleigh had spent many days laying awake and trying to get used to his new sleeping schedule, and that had given him a lot of time to think on it. He’d contemplated what it would have been like if Yancy were the one who’d shown up at his door instead of Chuck – if it were Yancy who he had to clean up after and care for. But then logic had set in. Chuck may have been disoriented and mixed-up at first, not at all himself, but it’s clear now that he’s the same person he once was, with the same thoughts and memories. In the years since his death, there’d been plenty of time for Yancy to seek Raleigh out if he really was out there.

After a few restless days, thinking about it for too long had gotten to be too painful.

He shakes his head.

“Do you think there’s anyone? Like me?” Chuck asks next.

“I don’t know,” Raleigh answers honestly.

“Don’t rightly matter, I guess. We’re doing alright on our own.”

“Would you rather be with someone who was like you?” Raleigh asks. He’s never thought of searching for others before – it had never even crossed his mind. He’d sort of just assumed it was an isolated case. “Someone who could show you the ropes?”

“I know the ropes well enough.” Chuck almost sounds indignant. “’Sides, that’s what I got you for, yeah?”

“But –”

“Fuck’s sake, Raleigh. If you want to get rid of me, just bloody say so.”

“No, that’s not – you know that’s not it. I just wonder….”

“You’re all I need,” Chuck says shortly. Raleigh’s eyebrows go up just a little, and Chuck ducks his head, grumbling. “I mean… you’re good enough.”

“Good to know.”

“Raleigh… I shouldn’t have to tell you this.”

Raleigh plays dumb. “Tell me what?”

Chuck pauses, and then he looks back at Raleigh. “You’re everything. To me. I mean, it was bound to happen eventually, since you’re the only person I see on a regular basis, since I rely on you and all,” he says. “I know it’s not easy for you, and it certainly ain’t a picnic for me. But short of me being a murderer, there’s not much I’d change about this whole thing. Not even if it meant me being with people like me.”

He’s rambling, and it’s an uncomfortable sort of rambling, Raleigh can tell – he’s not used to saying what he really feels. But that doesn’t mean Raleigh can’t understand the meaning behind his words, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it. He nods a little, not knowing how to respond.

Chuck leans in a little. “I don’t like Mori being here,” he says conspiratorially, with a glance at the door as though he expects to find her listening in, despite the fact that he’d closed it when he came in. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t like her, I just – I liked that it was just you and me. I liked that it was us alone and against the world. But if her being here is what you think is best, I can deal.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Raleigh asks, amused and a little perplexed by the sudden turn in the conversation.

“My old man might try to convince me to go back to Australia with him. And I know you – you’d tell me to go.”

Raleigh doesn’t argue. It’s true.

“But I’m telling you now – whether you think it’s best or not, I ain’t going anywhere without you. Period. That’s where I’m drawing the line.”

It’s arrogant as he says it, proud and stubborn. But Raleigh’s pretty sure that’s as openly romantic as Chuck Hansen gets, so he takes it for what it is. He nods again, dropping his gaze, and unconsciously, he reaches for Chuck, pushes his fingers into Chuck’s hair. Chuck presses against his touch like he’s seeking more of it, and he stares up at Raleigh with a silent question coming to his eyes.

Raleigh obliges. He leans in and kisses Chuck, and Chuck’s response is quick and passionate, one of his hands coming up to grasp the front of Raleigh’s T-shirt, his mouth slanting against Raleigh’s. Raleigh lets himself savor the moment – he figures they won’t get to do much of this once Herc’s arrived, that is, if Herc doesn’t, you know, murder him.

He goes to pull away after a minute, but Chuck’s kisses become harder, more demanding, and he tugs on Raleigh’s shirt like he’s trying to bring him down on top of him. Raleigh turns his head to break away, breathless like Chuck had been literally stealing the life out of him with every kiss, and he smiles slightly.

“Mako’s downstairs,” he says.

“Does it look like I give a damn?” Chuck rasps against his jaw, where his mouth’s taken up ghosting across his skin. “I need you.”

And well, how can Raleigh say no to that? Especially when Chuck’s tone is so raw, when he sounds so sincere.

He goes with Chuck, lets him pull him down onto the bed with him, and Chuck’s mouth finds his again, hard and desperate. He grabs Raleigh, rolling him onto his back sharply, and Raleigh’s hands go to Chuck’s hips as the vampire hovers over him. His kisses grow more urgent, and his hands rove over every part of Raleigh’s body that he can reach, his cold fingers digging into Raleigh’s skin even through his clothes, like he’s trying to punish Raleigh for not being able to figure out more quickly what he wants. Raleigh grabs at Chuck’s wrists to try and slow him down, but Chuck just tears his hands away. Brings them to Raleigh’s shirt like he’s going to tear the offending garment off, his fingers twisting into the material so hard Raleigh hears the fabric start to tear. Again, he grabs for Chuck’s wrists, only this time he’s a little more firm in trying to stop him.

Chuck makes a huffing noise at him, offended about being stopped, and he says once more, “I need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Raleigh says lightly. He slides his hands up Chuck’s arms, over his shoulders and up his neck, and cupping his face, he lifts Chuck’s head up some so he can look at his face. He examines Chuck’s expression, trying to read him, and he asks, “What do you want?”

Chuck blinks, seeming confused. Then he looks contemplative and gives a quick shake of his head in lieu of a shrug. “Your warmth,” he says simply, like Raleigh’s stupid for having to ask.

Raleigh considers for a few moments, thinks Chuck probably isn’t even sure what he means himself, and he leans up to capture Chuck’s mouth with his own once more. As he does so, he slides one of his hands down Chuck’s front, finding the bulge in his pants. He shapes his fingers around it and squeezes lightly, and Chuck makes a quick, surprised sound.

Raleigh nods – as if this is a simple conversation– and he says, “I got you. I know what you need.”

Chuck looks all too happy to trust Raleigh, looks relieved even, and then his mouth is covering Raleigh’s again, almost like he’s planning on smothering him. As Raleigh tries to match the unrelenting kiss Chuck’s delivering, he shifts beneath Chuck, moving closer towards the side of the bed so he can reach the condoms. As he keeps a hand moving against Chuck’s cock, kneading and palming it through his jeans, feeling it grow harder at his touch, Raleigh reaches blindly for the nightstand. He comes back with a condom and the bottle of lube they’d used the first time, setting them down beside him on the mattress so they’re easier to reach when they need them, but Chuck’s too busy trying to wear Raleigh’s lips down to nothing to notice.

His hands creep under Raleigh’s shirt now, skin cool and fingers pressing firmly against Raleigh’s ribs as he explores, and he sort of rolls his hips down, pressing against Raleigh’s hand for more friction. He’s almost uncertain, like he’s testing out what it feels like to be in control, and for the most part, Raleigh’s content to go along with whatever he wants. With Raleigh’s assistance, Chuck pulls Raleigh’s shirt off of him and tosses it aside, and then he turns to sweep his gaze over every inch of Raleigh’s bare torso like he’s never seen it before, his eyes dark with either lust or hunger – it’s hard to tell with him. His gaze darts up to Raleigh’s face, and as he leans in, he’s almost hesitant, and he presses his lips to the center of Raleigh’s chest.

The moment contact is made, Chuck’s eyes flutter closed. “It’s like there’s fire under your skin,” he murmurs against him, lips brushing Raleigh’s skin as he speaks.

And Raleigh’s not an idiot – he knows it’s not a compliment – but he can’t help but find satisfaction in Chuck’s words. He’s not saying he wants to be worshipped, but it’s certainly nice to feel like you are. As Chuck’s mouth moves again, kissing a line along the top of Raleigh’s chest, Raleigh brings his other hand up to thread his fingers through Chuck’s hair.  Encouraged by this, his kisses against Raleigh’s chest becoming firmer. He trails his lips down to Raleigh’s stomach, still kissing, but starting to use his tongue as well. His fingers splay out across Raleigh’s ribs again, palms spread wide, and he caresses up Raleigh’s sides like he’s mapping him out, paying attention to every minute detail as if this is the only chance he’ll ever get. Raleigh is very nearly entranced by his passion and interest, and he can only watch, chest rising and falling calmly with his breathing, as Chuck’s mouth works against his abdomen, his hands roaming the expanse of Raleigh’s torso.

When Chuck glances up at him, his fangs are out. A thrill runs through Raleigh at the sight, his heart starting to beat a little faster. As usual, the sensation is somewhat mixed – mostly excited and anticipatory, but with the smallest hint of fear. Not because he thinks Chuck would ever hurt him, but because those razor sharp teeth aren’t exactly normal, and seeing them so close to his own flesh is just a bit disconcerting, especially when you know what they’re capable of. But this is Chuck. And Raleigh, well… he loves him. So with his hand still in Chuck’s hair, he tugs a little and says, “Come here.”

Chuck lets Raleigh pull him up, and the moment their faces are level with one another, Raleigh covers his mouth with his own in a hard kiss. He helps Chuck out of his own shirt and Chuck tosses it aside a little angrier than he had Raleigh’s, like it irritates him to have to deal with clothes in the first place. Raleigh’s hand returns to where it’d been pressing against Chuck’s cock through his jeans, and his other moves up Chuck’s side, stopping to settle against one of his brawny shoulders. He lets his tongue tease at the needle points of Chuck’s fangs, getting a soft moan of sorts for his effort, and Chuck pushes against his hand again, grinds his hips even as Raleigh squeezes him through the denim.

“I know what you need,” Raleigh says once more, breaking the kiss, and he brings his other hand down to join the one still at Chuck’s groin.

He pops the button of Chuck’s jeans and slides the zipper down with ease, and Chuck hesitates over top of him, looking down and watching as though he’s hypnotized. He’s got nothing on underneath his jeans, and Raleigh pushes them down his hips just a little bit, before sticking a hand under the denim and grabbing Chuck’s bare cock. Chuck hisses, his hips jerking forward, and Raleigh eases his erection out, gives it a few short pumps.

Raising his gaze back up to meet Chuck’s, he picks up the condom again and tears into the wrapper with his teeth. Chuck remains silent as Raleigh pulls it out and brings it down to his cock, and Raleigh gets the impression, as he rolls the condom down Chuck’s length, that were Chuck human, he’d be holding his breath right about now. With the condom on, Raleigh strokes him a few more times, isn’t satisfied until he gets a low rumble of a moan from Chuck’s chest, and then Raleigh undoes his own pants, wriggling to shove them – and his thermal underwear – off, which is a little difficult, thanks to Chuck towering over him like so. But getting the picture, Chuck sits up and helps, grabbing the pants and long johns and throwing them off the bed with the same impatience as he’d thrown his shirt off.

He hesitates, his eager gaze drinking Raleigh in once more, and he lets one of his hands trail up the inside of Raleigh’s thigh, cool palm sliding up to Raleigh’s half-hardened cock. He takes it in a loose grasp, giving it a single, slow upstroke, and Raleigh’s eyes flutter, his hand fumbling as it reaches for the bottle of lube. Chuck seems surprised, like he still hasn’t comprehended what Raleigh’s doing, even after Raleigh’s put the condom on him, and he furrows his brow down at Raleigh almost questioningly.

Raleigh simply nods, uncapping the small bottle and pouring some of the liquid into his hand. He rubs his palms together and then grabs Chuck’s cock again, layering the lubricant along his full length in a few easy motions. Then he shifts his hips and reaches down with his other hand to prepare himself for Chuck, spreading the oil all around his hole and making sure he’s slick enough so that it doesn’t hurt. He rushes, grunting a little as he works his own fingers into himself, and the whole time, he keeps stroking Chuck, who’s starting to move, pushing himself into Raleigh’s lazy movements. 

When he’s satisfied, Raleigh reclaims his hands and quickly turns over onto his stomach, propping his ass up. He looks over his shoulder at Chuck, who’s staring down at him with darkened, ravenous eyes, though there’s still a hint of uncertainty brewing in his expression.

Raleigh raises his eyebrows a little. “Trust me,” he says.

And that does the trick.

Chuck moves closer, making a noise in his throat that Raleigh thinks is supposed to be words, but they don’t come out right. It almost seems as though Chuck wants to tell him he has no idea what he’s doing, but of course that same insecurity he’d had even in life makes him not want to admit to anything he might perceive as a personal flaw or fault. Raleigh wants to reassure him, tell him he’s worrying himself over nothing, but he knows Chuck – knows it’ll just make him feel worse about his lack of experience.

One of Chuck’s hands settles on Raleigh’s waist, and Raleigh turns back around, lowering himself to his elbows and resting his forehead on an arm. When he feels Chuck pressing against him, his breath catches in his throat, before he forces himself to exhale. He tries to relax, for Chuck’s sake more so than his own, but it’s been a while since he’s done this.

“Raleigh…” Chuck says, sounding unconfident in a way Raleigh’s never heard.

And so Raleigh does the only thing he can think to do. He pushes himself back, takes Chuck’s cock into his ass himself. A murmured string of curses leaves Chuck and Raleigh has to pause to get his bearings, to get over the initial discomfort. But for as cold as Chuck normally feels on any given day, it’s not so bad that it’s unsettling like Raleigh had imagined it might be – in fact, it’s barely noticeable to him.  

Or maybe he’s just getting used to Chuck’s temperature.

Chuck’s hand tightens on Raleigh’s hip, fingertips digging into his skin, and he doesn’t really react for a moment. Raleigh dares a quick glance over his shoulder again, and Chuck meets his gaze squarely like he’d been waiting for it. His eyes, still dark with his hunger, have a fire of a different sorts in them now, one Raleigh doesn’t want to make any assumptions about.

But one that feels pretty damn passionate.

Something unspoken passes between them, just like the first time, and it makes Raleigh’s chest feel tight. He could almost curse Chuck aloud – he was never supposed to feel like this about the murderous vampire that’d shown up on his doorstep with nowhere else to go. How had things ended up like this?

As if looking at Raleigh encourages Chuck, he moves – pushes his hips forward and drives his cock deeper into Raleigh, his movements stiff and unsure. Raleigh’s fingers twist into the bed sheet beneath him as he turns away again, an involuntary noise spilling from him, and he has to remind himself once more to relax.

Chuck meets that sound with a low groan, and he murmurs thickly, “You’re so warm, Ray. So bloody warm.”

*

Chuck can’t think of anything in the world that’s ever felt like this. Raleigh is tight around him, clenching him almost like a fist, and he’s hot – impossibly hot. Alive. And this is everything that Chuck had been wanting, everything he’d felt like he needed. And though they’ve just started, Chuck can’t help the noise he’d made – the sensation of being inside Raleigh, and maybe the knowledge itself, is intense and overwhelming.

The hand that he’d been using to guide himself to Raleigh’s ass joins the other on Raleigh’s waist, which is still clutching his hip tight, his fingertips dimpling the taut skin. He pushes forward, sinks into Raleigh the rest of the way, buries himself in that unbelievable heat, and his eyes shut at the pleasure that ripples through him.

A low noise wells in Raleigh’s chest, and Chuck isn’t sure if it’s good or bad.

“Is this – are you –?” he starts to ask, immediately regretting it and hating himself for how stupidly insecure he sounds.

But Raleigh interrupts him, quickly saying, “It’s good.” One of his hands comes back, his fingers finding and stroking at Chuck’s wrist to reassure him.

So Chuck starts moving. Though he’s never done this before, it’s just something that kind of comes natural to someone, he reckons, and while his actions start off somewhat uncoordinated, he doesn’t stop, and instead starts to find his rhythm. In his mind, he pictures how Raleigh had moved, mimics the dexterity with which Raleigh had thrust into him. And it starts to get easier, his motions become swifter and more smooth. With every thrust, he sheathes his full length inside Raleigh, pulls back just a few inches, and then drives forward again. Each time, Raleigh’s breath hitches, like he can’t quite get a hold on it, and that sound is driving Chuck crazy. Combine that with the sound of Raleigh’s heart hammering against his ribcage, and the way Chuck swears he can hear Raleigh’s blood pumping through his veins, and red starts to blur at the edges of Chuck’s vision.

He feels soft beneath Chuck. Pliant and fragile. Human. Chuck’s fangs twinge in pain.

Raleigh starts moving with him, pushing his hips back to meet Chuck’s thrusts. His back is curved, chest flat against the mattress and his ass in the air – round, firm, golden, perfect in the way you’d expect the great Raleigh Becket’s ass to look. Chuck can’t quite help himself – he slides his hands down to that taut ass, cups each cheek and squeezes, spreading them slightly, which gives himself a better view of his cock as it enters Raleigh. He groans. Giving Raleigh’s ass a parting grasp, he slides both of his hands along the bow of Raleigh’s back next, up and down, enjoying the feel of Raleigh’s muscles beneath his heated skin. A thought occurs to him, and he nudges at Raleigh’s hips, pushing him into a completely prone position on his stomach, and Chuck goes with him, keeping his cock inside of him.

A low moan leaves Raleigh – it sounds surprised, but pleasantly so – and Chuck straddles his thighs from behind, placing his hands on the mattress on either side of Raleigh to better brace himself. And he starts thrusting again, grinding his hips down, and Raleigh shifts a little beneath him, propping his ass up slightly to make it easier for the both of them. He stretches his arms out in front of him, grabbing the pillow like he needs something to hold onto, and turning his face to the side, he presses his cheek against the mattress. His eyes are closed, and though Chuck can only see a part of his face, he looks flushed and… well, alive. And that’s what drives Chuck so crazy, that someone can look so alive.

After that, it’s fast and almost rushed, with the two of them staying as quiet as they possibly can so that Mako doesn’t overhear from downstairs. Chuck finds a rhythm again, and his motions cause Raleigh to grind against the mattress beneath him, and soon he’s making the softest sounds in his throat, his fingers twisting into the pillowcase in his slowly building pleasure.

Chuck’s own pleasure is quickly becoming an addiction. He moves faster against Raleigh, thrusts harder, just needs more, and he lowers himself over Raleigh, all but crushing him against the mattress. He presses his mouth to Raleigh’s ear, feels Raleigh shudder at the soft, chaste touch, and then Raleigh’s lifting his head, turning more so that his mouth can seek Chuck’s out. They kiss somewhat messily – Chuck’s too busy focusing on moving his hips to be able to put much effort into the kiss – and it doesn’t help when Raleigh’s tongue flicks over his fangs, sending electricity shooting through him.

Chuck pulls away, breaking the kiss to let out a noise mixed with a moan and a sharp curse, and he’s starting to lose control, practically slamming into Raleigh now. It’s primal, with the sound of skin against skin, and there’s something so carnal about that sound that just urges Chuck on further. He’s tight all over, aching and ready for release, a fire spreading through his gut, and his gums are tingling non-stop in his need to bite Raleigh – the feeling reminds him of what a television looks like when there’s nothing but static, or like the memory of the pins and needles you get when your arm falls asleep, something that hasn’t happened to him since his death.

Leaning back down, he buries his face in Raleigh’s shoulder, kissing at the side of Raleigh’s neck – it’s glossy with a thin sheen of perspiration, the taste of which is almost as good as Raleigh’s blood – and he instinctively grazes his teeth, the tips of his fangs, across Raleigh’s skin. It takes everything in him not to just sink them in – he knows they’ll slide right in, knows Raleigh wouldn’t be able to prevent it if he tried. 

Raleigh gives a breathless groan, bucking beneath Chuck, and he grunts out, “Yes.” Then he adds, “Do it,” like the first time they’d had sex, only this time it sounds like a command, firm and unquestioning.

And it’s like Chuck’s compelled to, like he simply must obey his human’s every word – he bites Raleigh’s neck.

Raleigh arches beneath him again, moaning a lot louder than he’s done up until now, and he presses his face into the mattress to muffle it. Chuck meets the sound with one of his own, an appreciative grunt in his throat as Raleigh’s blood passes his lips, the sickly sweet metallic tang exploding across his taste buds. As he takes a pull on it and swallows, savoring the feeling of it sliding down his throat, Chuck only has to rut against Raleigh a few more times before his orgasm crashes into him like a tidal wave.

Blinding pleasure courses through him, makes his body give a great shudder before he goes completely still over Raleigh, and he keeps his mouth firmly attached to Raleigh’s neck, groaning thickly as he swallows yet more of his blood. He comes hard and quick, so intensely that he almost can’t even feel it, especially as that red starts to cover his line of vision entirely, and he becomes almost painfully aware of the sound of Raleigh’s heartbeat. Instinct wants him to kill, but something is able to keep him from giving in, and he pulls his mouth away from Raleigh’s neck in a quick, jerking motion, blood dribbling down his chin and onto Raleigh’s shoulder as he rears his head back, riding out the final ebbing tides of his climax.

He doesn’t move for a long moment, even after he’s already emptied himself entirely. He just stays there, braced over Raleigh – who’s body is all but heaving as he pants – and he revels in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. And adding to it is how good Raleigh’s blood tastes, the way it lingers in his mouth like the too strong vodka his father would let him have after they bagged a Kaiju, only ten times more intoxicating. When he finally does move, it’s because he’s realized that in his selfishness, he’d paid Raleigh’s pleasure absolutely no mind whatsoever.

He slides from Raleigh’s ass and shifts, lifting most of his weight off of him, and then he grabs Raleigh’s hip and turns him over onto his back. Raleigh pretty much keeps the same position, stretches his arms up over his head and writhes a little, and Chuck looks down at the wet spot on the sheets, a little surprised.

Raleigh snorts out a little laugh and covers his face with an arm, almost like he’s embarrassed. “How bad is it I can come like that with just you biting me?” he asks. As if his words have just reminded him, he covers his neck with his other hand to stop the trickle of blood.

“It really feels that good?” Chuck asks curiously. “Getting bitten?”

“When you say it in that tone of voice, almost makes me sound weird,” Raleigh says.

“You are weird.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“No,” Chuck says quickly, impulsively. Like a fucking schoolboy trying to hide his crush. He curses himself inwardly.

And Raleigh just grins at him.

When he disappears to the bathroom, Chuck gets rid of the condom and changes the bed sheets – the sun is rising, but he moves quickly before the lethargy can set in. As the shower starts running, he pulls on a pair of Raleigh’s sweatpants and it hits him that he doesn’t have any of his own clothing. Ever since that first night in Kowloon Bay, when he’d shown up in nothing but the remainder of his Drivesuit, he’d simply worn Raleigh’s clothes. He wonders if he ought to ask for some of his own, finally. Figures it doesn’t matter by now.

He’s laying on top of the blankets when Raleigh returns shortly after, hair still damp and neck bandaged. And bizarrely, he looks more exhausted than Chuck’s ever seen before – it’s like the shower washed away not only the lingering traces of sweat and sex, but also the mask that Raleigh had been wearing to hide how much taking care of Chuck has worn him down. He looks so much older than the man who’d Chuck tormented and taunted at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and he’s barely even recognizable as the cocky rockstar that Chuck had looked up to when he was growing up.

And Chuck feels guilty. The Kaiju didn’t turn Raleigh into this…. He did.

A guilt that only intensifies as Chuck watches Raleigh climb gingerly under the covers.

“I hurt you.”

Raleigh shoots him a short, skeptical look as he gets comfortable, like Chuck’s being silly. “It’s just been a while –”

Chuck narrows his eyes and arches his eyebrows, but he doesn’t have to say anything to make the words die in Raleigh’s throat.

Raleigh sighs, exasperated. “It was your first time. To be totally honest, I expected it to be a lot worse.” He doesn’t need to say ‘with your lack of self-control,’ but Chuck hears the words anyway, and he lowers his gaze, trying not to apply the implications to the people he’s killed. Raleigh studies him for a long moment, as if reading Chuck’s mind, and he says, “Besides – I still enjoyed myself. Next time will be even better.”

“Next time?” Chuck echoes, and yeah, that piques a silly, boyish excitement in him.

Raleigh flashes that grin that only he knows how to do – both sheepish and smug at the same time – and he says, “I said I liked it, didn’t I?”

As if to prove his point, he moves closer and leans in to press a kiss to Chuck’s jaw. Then he slings an arm across Chuck’s middle and gets comfortable again, his warmth washing over Chuck even despite the blankets separating them. When his eyes close, Chuck can’t help but to watch him, and he wishes he could stay awake longer than Raleigh, even though he can feel that heavy, drugging exhaustion settling in his bones. He just wants to see if sleep eases all of the weariness and stress from Raleigh’s features, wants to see if it makes him look at all like the way he had when Chuck had been fifteen and looking at him on magazines.

“You’re staring at me.” Raleigh speaks, but doesn’t open his eyes.

“Don’t flatter yourself, mate.”

Raleigh cracks one of his eyes open and Chuck doesn’t have enough time to look casual – so instead, he glowers. Raleigh chuckles and closes both eyes again. Chuck, however, doesn’t stop staring. Because he’s quickly remembering what had been weighing on him before he’d come up to the bedroom – he’d hoped Raleigh would provide a distraction, and while it’d been good while it’d lasted – really good, amazingly good, phenomenal, even – that dark cloud is hanging over Chuck again and he can’t shake it. Knows it was pointless of him to think that he could.

“Raleigh….” But he trails off, not knowing how to continue.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Raleigh says softly.

“You don’t sound too sure of that.”

For a long moment, Chuck thinks Raleigh’s trying to pretend he’s already passed out. But then he moves his hand, stroking a soft circle on Chuck’s stomach. He doesn’t say anything, but the caress is a response in its own right. Chuck can’t keep his eyes open any longer, so he lets them fall closed, and he decides that if Raleigh can do this, he can do this. Granted, Raleigh’s not the one who has to explain to his father that he’s a killer – a monster – but still.

Raleigh keeps rubbing that small circle against his skin as sleep sets in, and the feathery touch of the warm pads of his fingers fades away until Chuck feels nothing at all anymore.

*

Your love fills me up when the blood in my body’s drained,

And your strength is my backbone when I feel every bone break.

– “Nevada’s Grace,” Atreyu

*

The next day seems to happen in a blur, too fast.

Raleigh feels ill the moment he wakes up, his stomach tight and tense and clenched into a hot fist, and Mako watches him like a hawk, like she’s waiting for him to snap. She seems to be feeling her own anxiety over it all, but she’s a lot more composed than Raleigh is, and when Raleigh messes up the first pot of coffee because his thoughts are so jumbled, she sits him down at the kitchen table and makes a new, fresh pot herself.

“Is Chuck nervous?” she asks as she pours two mugs.

“Oh yeah, he’s terrified. Completely petrified, though he’d never say anything.”

“And you?”

“Pretty much exactly the same.”

She turns to join him at the table, and says very simply, “Good.” His eyebrows shoot up as she sits down beside him. “I’m still mad at you. You didn’t think I’d forgive you so easily, did you?”

He smiles a little, ducking his gaze. “Right.”

“But don’t worry – I want to be mad at you for a much longer time than this, so I promise to stop Herc if it looks like he’s about to kill you,” she says.

“You really are enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

And when the phone rings a little later, about twenty minutes before sunset, Raleigh knows instantly who it is, and his stomach turns over, mouth and throat drying. He and Mako are still at the kitchen table, playing a card game, and he glances quickly at her. She takes pity on him and answers it, though she speaks too softly and indistinctly for him to hear. After she hangs up, she turns back to him, frowning sympathetically.

“He’s in town. Got a room at an inn,” she says. “I told him I’d come and get him – but not for another hour or so. When Chuck’s up.”

Raleigh nods, and then he has to take a deep, steadying breath because wow. This is really happening. Herc Hansen is in town to see his vampire son, who Raleigh was previously hiding from the world. Raleigh feels like he should probably just go ahead and dig a grave for himself because Herc will probably beat him to death with his bare hands when he sees him, Mako or not.

About forty-five minutes later, Chuck’s in the shower when Mako leaves to pick Herc up – taking Raleigh’s truck because it rides better in the current weather than the rental SUV she’d gotten when she’d arrived. Raleigh paces in the living room, wearing circles into the hardwood floor, and when Chuck joins him, he takes up a position at the window, staring outside and standing still as a statue, looming like the sort of monster you’d expect him to be.

Raleigh stops. “Are you –?”

“If you ask me if I’m okay, I’m gonna rip off both your arms and beat you with them.”

Raleigh pushes out an edgy chuckle and he shakes his head. “That threat almost seems scary, knowing that you actually could do that.”

“Could have done it as a human too,” Chuck murmurs. An eternity seems to pass, and then he finally moves, turning away from the window to face Raleigh. His hair is wet from the shower still, he looks as pale as ever, and there’s something else beneath the surface, something that makes his expression look tight and severe. It’s fear. But he’d sooner gnaw his own hand off than admit it, Raleigh knows. “You can stop trying to pretend you’re not afraid of him. I don’t need you to be strong for me,” he sneers.

Raleigh opens his mouth to tell Chuck that that’s not at all what he’s doing, but Chuck looks at him skeptically, and Raleigh knows there’s no point in lying. So he just nods, and after a moment, he goes back to pacing. And Chuck, after watching him for a few minutes, goes back to staring out the window.

Raleigh’s perched on the arm of the couch, bouncing one of his legs impatiently and chewing on his fingernails, when Chuck makes a strangled noise in his throat. He immediately jumps to his feet and hurries to Chuck’s side, peering out in time to see his truck pulling to a stop in front of the cabin. His heart clenches in his chest like it’s going to seize up totally, and it feels like his stomach has been turned into a bowling ball.

“Oh,” he says stupidly.

Chuck takes a few steps away from the window, and there’s a panicked look on his face, like a deer in the headlights. He makes a sudden move like he’s going to try and run away, somehow flee the scene before Herc gets inside, but Raleigh quickly grabs his arm. He tries to reassure Chuck, speaks softly to him in a way that makes him think of when people are trying to soothe a spooked animal, but Chuck doesn’t look reassured in the least. He doesn’t even look like he can hear what Raleigh’s saying.

He pulls his arm out of Raleigh’s hold, and when Raleigh grabs it again, he pulls it away again. “No, he can’t see me,” he says quickly, would be breathlessly if he were a human. “He can’t see me.”

“It’ll be fine,” Raleigh tries.

Chuck isn’t listening. Repeats himself. “He can’t see me.”

They can hear the doors of the truck shut.

“Chuck….”

Footsteps on the porch.

Chuck stares at the doorway of the living room, shaking his head, and this time, Raleigh places a hand on his face, tries to get Chuck to look at him. “You need to relax.” Which is a load of shit coming from Raleigh, who almost feels ready to throw up.

The front door opens, and despite Raleigh’s intentions to calm Chuck, he finds himself tensing up and spinning to face the hall too. He shifts, unconsciously putting himself between Chuck and the doorway like he can try and hide him, and the two of them listen as Mako and Herc come into the foyer. Herc’s voice can be heard, asking where Chuck is, and it seems entirely too bizarre to hear it – it just doesn’t seem like this is really happening.

Herc’s lean frame fills the doorway as he stops just inside the room, and Raleigh might as well not even be there at all – Herc stares right through him at Chuck. His expression is instantly a mix of pain and astonishment, and he brings a hand up to cover his mouth, the expression twisting and becoming more intense as he fully takes in the sight of Chuck. Hesitantly, Raleigh takes a few steps sideways, and he throws a quick glance at Chuck, who is still and unmoving, but staring at Herc with red brimming in his eyes.

Abruptly, Herc strides across the room and pulls Chuck into a hard embrace. Chuck could have had time to move away, of course, because no matter how unexpected a gesture it is, nothing beats vampire agility, but instead, Chuck seems to fold in on himself and collapse against his father. Herc’s speaking quietly, so soft that Raleigh can only hear the murmur of his voice, and he’s touching Chuck all over, squeezing his shoulders and pulling on his hair, making sure he’s real and actually there. And Chuck just hangs his head, looking small, looking like a child.

Raleigh knows he’s intruding.

He sees movement at the doorway, and he turns to find Mako looking at him with a deep frown. Fighting the urge to steal a last look of the Hansens, he shuffles quickly out of the room. Mako bumps her elbow against his, and they don’t need to speak – she’s wearing her coat still, so he grabs his, and the two of them step outside onto the porch to give Herc and Chuck the time that they need. This isn’t something that anyone else needs to bear witness to.

It’s snowing. The woods surrounding the cabin are still and serene, and when the truck engine stops ticking, there’s complete silence. Raleigh and Mako stand side-by-side on the porch – his hands in his pockets, her arms across her chest, hugging herself – and they watch the snowfall.

“They’ll be fine,” Mako says eventually. And when he doesn’t respond, she turns to face him. “This is going to work out, Raleigh. Chuck needs Herc as much as he needs you, and Herc –”

“I know… I should have told him sooner,” he says.

She gives him a tight-lipped smile, but she doesn’t say anything more, and they go back to standing in silence.

When the front door opens, they both turn to find Herc stepping out onto the porch. He looks tired and weathered, like he’s a good fifty years older than he’d been the last time Raleigh had seen him, and his eyes are puffy and red. Mako looks at Raleigh, and then suddenly she’s walking towards the door, and before Raleigh has any time to react, she’s gone. She’d left him with Herc.

The oldest Hansen pulls the door shut after she glides past him, and with squared shoulders (and balled-up fists, Raleigh doesn’t fail to notice), he moves towards Raleigh, stopping beside him and taking Mako’s place. There’s a lump in Raleigh’s throat, and it feels like something is compressing his chest, making it harder to breathe. For what could be hours, they both just stand there, and he starts to feel a desperation welling up inside of him, an urgent need for Herc to just say something. He wants Herc to yell at him, maybe even to hit him, to break the silence with any damn thing he can think of before he goes crazy.

“Herc –” he starts to say, unable to take it anymore.

“I’m not gonna thank you, Becket,” Herc cuts him off. And for what it’s worth, Raleigh doesn’t mind being interrupted, because at least Herc’s talking. He takes a slow, deep breath, pushes it out through his nose, and a muscle in his jaw jumps. He looks dangerous. “In fact, you should probably be thanking me for not kicking your ass ten ways to Sunday right now.”

“I know –”

“Shut up.”

So Raleigh does.

Staring out at the trees, Herc shakes his head irately and goes on. “It’s unacceptable how long you’ve kept me in the dark about this…. I should have been the first bloody person you called, and you should have done it long before you packed him up and brought him out here.”

Even though Herc isn’t looking at him, Raleigh nods. This is the same shit he’s been telling himself since it happened, he’d just been too chicken to do it before Mako had arrived. He feels stupid and useless and like a complete jackass, and he just wishes there was a way he could make it up to Herc.

“So I’m not gonna thank you,” Herc says again. He turns finally, and he stares hard at Raleigh, like he means for his gaze to turn him to stone where he stands. “But… I am aware of what you’ve done to keep him alive… and I can appreciate that.”

Raleigh shakes his head now, and he murmurs a dismissive, “It’s nothing.”

Out of nowhere, Herc reaches for him. Raleigh flinches, expecting a blow, but Herc grabs both the collar of Raleigh’s jacket and his sweater, and he yanks them aside. Raleigh feels a shameful heat creep into his face as Herc looks at the bitemarks, old and new, peppering his neck. He knows there’s no way Herc can know that he likes it when Chuck bites him, that he gets off on it, even, but he keeps his gaze averted anyway, like he thinks Herc will be able to read his mind if their eyes meet.

Herc stares at the scars for a while, and his jaw visibly clenches once more, no doubt as he tries to take it all in. When he lets go and takes a step back, he heaves a sigh that makes him sound very, very old. “I don’t know what to think about all this,” he says.

After a pause to consider his response, Raleigh says, “We kinda just take it day by day.”

“Whatever he’s become, he’s still my son. And who knows where he’d be if you hadn’t taken him in.” He says this curtly and bitterly, like there’s a million other things he’d rather say to Raleigh. “So there it is – like I said, I ain’t gonna thank you, and I sure as hell don’t forgive you, but I’m not too proud to admit that.”

Raleigh nods again.

“I mean, shit, Becket – you dropped everything to take him in.”

“He needed help,” Raleigh says. Doesn’t point out that a part of the reason he’d taken Chuck in was to keep him from hurting anyone. He hadn’t done a very good job of it, can wake up in the middle of the day sometimes and still smell blood from having had to clean up so much of it. But he can’t tell Herc about that. He wants to, but he can’t. That’s not all I did for Chuck – he murdered three people and I helped to cover it all up, doesn’t exactly seem like something that fits the moment, especially considering how angry Herc is at him. Chuck has to tell him about that. That’s his decision.

Herc gives a wry laugh at the small answer. He grabs Raleigh’s jacket again, only this time, he jerks him forward and crushes him into a hug that’s only a hug by name – it’s hard and painful, a cold gesture. He’s only doing it because he feels obligated to and has no idea what else he should do – he’s grateful, but angry. Incredibly angry. And at one point, he squeezes so hard that Raleigh thinks he intends to crush his ribs and constrict him to death.

But he doesn’t. He pulls back, and all but shoves Raleigh away from him. Then he pushes past him to go to the door. “Get inside before you freeze your balls off,” is all he says before he disappears.

And Raleigh lets out all of his breath, sagging against the porch railing. That could have gone a lot worse, he thinks, all things considered.

*

In the kitchen, Chuck’s standing at the trash can to finish the blood bag. He hadn’t wanted to drink any of it while his father was there, but seeing Herc… it had made his stomach twist up and wither, had filled his head with cotton and smoke. Blood was the only thing he could think of to make himself feel better, even if it does taste like plastic.

He listens to the brusque, stilted conversation on the porch, even though he knows he probably shouldn’t, knows that Raleigh had given him privacy. But Raleigh doesn’t have such heightened senses, and if he did, Chuck knows he would have eavesdropped too. He feels a strange tightness come to his chest when he hears what his father says – “He’s still my son,” – a human sensation that Chuck wishes he was too dead to feel. Sure, Herc says that now, but what happens when he finds out about all that Chuck’s done?

When Herc comes back inside, Chuck drops the empty bag into the trash and quickly wipes his mouth as thoroughly as he can. He’d already cleaned his face of the red mess that’d leaked out of his eyes – his father had pretended not to be freaked out by it, but he hadn’t been very good at it. And why not? You don’t see someone cry blood every day. “Whatever he’s become,” Herc had said. He’d become a monster, that’s what.

When he senses his father’s presence, he turns to find him standing in the doorway – he’s wringing his hands when Chuck faces him, but quickly lowers them to his sides and strikes a casual pose. Behind him, Raleigh passes by, heading for the stairs and not even looking at the kitchen – he’s doing his best to give Herc and Chuck time to be alone. And Chuck could bloody curse him. A part of him longs for Raleigh’s warmth and wishes that he could ask him to stay in the room with him, for moral support or whatever.

Herc shifts awkwardly, eyes searching the linoleum floor like he thinks he can find all of the answers there.

“So you looked at the bitemarks,” Chuck says, and he sounds more sardonic than he’d intended to, but it feels good. It’s easier to be a sarcastic little shit in this moment. “Saw what I can do.”

“You’re surviving. You have to do it,” Herc says shortly. He’s already ready to dismiss anything Chuck does because he’s just glad to have Chuck back in his life, and Chuck glares at him. A father’s love. But Chuck doesn’t want it, doesn’t deserve it.

“I don’t do it because I have to, I do it because I can’t control myself,” Chuck says. “And if Raleigh hadn’t been so willing to help me, I’d have probably killed him by now.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.”

Chuck laughs bitterly. “You always act like you know everything.”

“I know you aren’t –”

“A murderer?”

Herc falls silent and realization seeps into his expression. He scrubs a hand over his jaw and takes a deep breath like he’s trying to steady himself, and Chuck’s almost proud of himself for some stupid reason.

Malicious in his intent, Chuck says, “Three people.”

“I don’t need to hear this.”

“This is who I am now, you most certainly need to hear it. Either I treat Raleigh like my chew toy, or I kill people,” Chuck snaps. Frowning harder than Chuck’s ever seen before, Herc starts to move towards him, but Chuck backs away. “Don’t. Don’t come near me.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to – is that a good enough reason?” Chuck asks. He’d been weak when Herc had arrived, had let his father hold him and speak softly to him like he was a little boy all over again. It’d been nice, sure – his father had warmth that was different from Raleigh’s, but comforting and calming all the same – but the moment had passed. No more. “So you got what you came here for, yeah? Saw that I’m alive and well? Loosely speaking,” he adds as a murmur. “So now you can go home and not have to worry about your killer of a son.”

“I’m not going home,” Herc says. “I’m staying in town. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Lucky you.” Chuck rolls his eyes.

“I have Max with me, at the inn. I can bring him –”

“No,” Chuck says quickly, frantically. The mere mention of his dog makes it feel like something sharp is being forced through his chest. At Herc’s questioning look, Chuck squares his shoulders again and tries to sound more casual than he feels. “I don’t think animals like me very much anymore….”

Herc’s voice gets a little softer as he says, “We won’t know unless –”

“Please,” Chuck says.

For a long moment, they just stand there in the kitchen, facing one another but not actually looking at each other, and though Herc looks like he wants nothing more than to go to Chuck, Chuck keeps his distance. His senses tell him that Raleigh’s pacing in the bedroom and that Mako’s been in the bathroom for the past hour – she’d run the water like she was taking a bath, but hadn’t actually filled the tub, is probably just standing at the door, waiting. 

Herc breaks the silence. “I have to go.”

Good, Chuck thinks.

His father moves to turn away, but then stops and looks back at Chuck. There’s a sudden steeliness to his face, a hard determination, and he says, “I don’t care what you are or what you’ve done. You are my son.” He emphasizes the words. They twist up Chuck’s dead heart and feel like a blow to the gut. “And I’m not going to lose you a second time.”

Chuck remains as Herc goes to get Mako to drive him back, and even as he listens to them both get into Raleigh’s truck, he doesn’t leave the kitchen. Red brims in his eyes and blurs his vision again as the truck pulls away from the cabin, but Chuck closes his eyes against it, cursing and feeling like he wants to tear something apart with his bare hands.

*

All those things that you couldn’t say, you should’ve said.

All those “I-love-yous” lost, weighed more like lead on your chest.

If I could take back all those misspent days, every second of anger,

I would wash my sins away…

– “The Remembrance Ballad,” Atreyu

*

“I told him. I bloody told him.”

“Chuck –”

“Even now, he doesn’t listen to me.” Chuck spins away from the living room window, his eyes fiery and narrowed in his anger. “He brought Max.”

Even without supernatural hearing, Raleigh can hear the truck pulling up to the cabin. There are muffled thuds of the doors shutting, and Raleigh rubs at the back of his neck, averting his gaze. When he steals a glance back, Chuck’s eyebrows go up.

“You knew?”

“He might have mentioned that he was bringing him,” Raleigh says. And at the betrayed look on Chuck’s face, he hurriedly adds, “I didn’t have a choice, alright?” Which is true. Herc had called him earlier in the day only to say, ‘I’m bringing the fuckin’ dog,’ and what was Raleigh supposed to say? It isn’t his place to get between the Hansens – he’d done his part, the rest is up to them.

“Unbelievable,” Chuck says.

“Just calm down – we don’t even know what’s going to happen.”

“Should have expected you to side with my father.”

“That’s not fair.”

Chuck doesn’t get to respond – the front door opens and Herc and Mako come inside, by the sounds of it, kicking snow off their boots before they step into the foyer. Mako appears in the doorway first, smiling a little at Raleigh with cheeks flushed from the cold, but then she pitches a quick, apologetic frown at Chuck. Herc is there too, next, with Max on a leash, and Raleigh looks back at Chuck again, who’s expression is tight and strained.

“Couldn’t keep him cooped up at the inn all night,” Herc says, giving his son a guarded look. He reaches down and unhooks Max, who’s much thinner than the last time Raleigh had seen him, no doubt an effect of being without Chuck.

Chuck doesn’t say anything. Nobody does. At first, the bulldog is too busy shaking off snow and sniffing out his new surroundings to even notice Chuck, but when he does, he freezes up and cocks his head.

“Hey Max,” Chuck says, so softly it’s almost a whisper, with a very obviously feigned nonchalance.

Slowly, one step at a time, Max inches towards Chuck, his nose working as he sniffs. There’s a scent that just barely clings to Chuck, and always has since he reappeared, and Raleigh’s pretty sure it’s the scent of death, but it’s always been something out of reach, too faint for him to really pick up on or be bothered by it. But dogs have stronger senses, and it’s that scent that seems to be making Max nervous right now.

Chuck stands stock still, completely unmoving as Max reaches him, starts sniffing at his feet and ankles. Chuck moves like he means to lower a hand to the dog, probably for him to smell, but Max doesn’t take kindly to the sudden gesture – he turns and bolts out of the room as fast as he can, butt low to the floor like he’s trying to get his stubby tail between his legs. They all watch him go, Raleigh feeling a sharpness in his chest that he’s sure Herc knows all too well, and they can hear Max scampering around in the hall and kitchen.

Raleigh turns to Chuck again, whose expression has gone from unsure to distant and detached. His cold gaze goes right to Herc. “See? What’d I tell you?” he asks sardonically.

“Chuck –” Raleigh says.

“Give it some damn time –” Herc says.

But Chuck ignores the both of them, and he stalks coolly towards the doorway. Herc almost reaches for him, but Chuck tears himself away, anticipating it. “Don’t touch me,” he growls, and he pauses long enough to shoot his father a vicious look. “Think now maybe you lot will start listening to me?”

He storms from the room, and Mako calls out to him. As they hear the front door open, Herc makes a move to follow, but Raleigh lunges towards the hall.

“I’ll go,” he says.

It seems as though Herc wants to argue right away but he looks at Mako and his expression loses some of its heat – like he’s fine with it because he trusts her judgement. He nods once, shoulders relaxing, and Raleigh and Mako share a look before he leaves the room. He grabs his coat from the hook on the wall, and pulls it on as he steps outside onto the porch.

It’s not snowing, not yet at least, but the cold is bitter and sharp. After he pulls the door shut, Raleigh pulls his hat from the pocket of his jacket, and he shoves it on in a rush, looking around. Chuck’s nowhere in sight, but even a vampire leaves footprints. And as Raleigh follows said footprints, he works out in his mind what he wants to say to Chuck – god knows he doesn’t want to make any of this worse.

The trail leads into the woods, but it doesn’t go very far; a small clearing with a dirty frozen pond nearby. Chuck’s just standing there when Raleigh comes through the trees, facing the way that Raleigh had come, arms at his sides and looking like a statue. It’s surreal, seeing him standing there in just his T-shirt, his skin nearly as pale as the white on the ground.

“You barrel around in there like a clumsy, injured moose, you know?” he says by way of greeting, the words coming out harsher than Raleigh would have expected.

“We can’t all have your agility and stealth,” Raleigh says, breathless from the cold.

“Generally speaking, when someone storms off and goes for a walk outside, they probably want to be left the hell alone.”

“Generally speaking, they aren’t vampires I’m in love with.”

Chuck sputters a little, seemingly taken aback, not by the profession of love, but by how casually Raleigh says it. Then he rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips, turning away. “Let me guess, you’re sorry. You can’t imagine what this is like for me. You wish you could take it all away,” he says sarcastically.

Raleigh smirks a little, stopping next to Chuck. “That’s half of it.”

“And the other half?” Chuck glances at him, confused.

“You need to cool down and try again. With Max,” Raleigh says.

“Are you joking with me right now? Did you miss the part where he ran away from me?”

“Come on, you had to have known it wasn’t going to be instant,” Raleigh says. “I get the feeling you aren’t even trying.”

Chuck looks at Raleigh again, frowning, and then he lowers his gaze almost shamefully. “After everything… don’t you think it’d be better if everyone just left me alone?”

“No,” Raleigh says simply. “Look, I get it – you don’t want to hurt anyone else. You want to push your father away to keep him safe. You want to do what every broody vampire in any movie does.”

“I’m not broody –”

“But I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.” Raleigh moves closer to Chuck, stands in front of him and ducks to try and meet Chuck’s gaze. “Maybe everything that happened was because you needed this. Maybe none of it would have happened if you’d had it the whole time.”

Chuck shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but it’s a weak gesture. He looks so young suddenly, and it truly hits Raleigh then, that Chuck is still just a kid. He had died before he could really grow up, before he could even experience something akin to a normal life. And now he’s a vampire forced to live in seclusion, wanting to push away his last surviving family for fear of hurting them.

A surge of protectiveness washes over Raleigh.

“Makes sense, doesn’t it?” he asks quietly.

“Shut up.”

“Will you try again?”

“You saw what happened…. It ain’t gonna work.”

“Will you try again?” Raleigh repeats the question. And then, with a little smile, he adds, “For me?”

“Oh, you think you can get whatever you want by flashing your stupid little smile around, do you?” Chuck grumps.

Chuck looks down at his feet and kicks at the snow moodily. “Yeah, alright. I hear you.”

“You trust me, right?”

“Shut up,” Chuck says again.

Raleigh’s smirk grows a little, and he says, “You can do it later, okay? When no one else is around.”

“Except you.”

“Except me.” Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, Raleigh takes a quick breath, and he bounces a little as though to try and generate some body heat. “Can we go back now? I’m still just a weak human when it comes to these sorts of temperatures, you know.”

“I think I’m gonna stay out here a while,” Chuck says. At Raleigh’s look, he goes on, “Don’t worry – I think I can handle myself. I’ve been all over these woods to look for good places to hide things we never want to see again.”

Raleigh catches his drift, and his smile falters. He means the places where he hid the bodies, of course – Chuck had never told him what he’d done with them, but there really weren’t many options out here. Raleigh shifts uncomfortably and throws the briefest of glances around, like he expects one of the unmarked graves to jump out at him. He feels Chuck stare at him for a long moment, but he keeps his gaze averted, feeling like Chuck’s waiting for something, something that Raleigh doesn’t want to provide him with. When he finally does look up again, Chuck is skeptical.

“You keep trying to forget, don’t you? That I killed people….”

“Yes,” Raleigh says quickly, a little forcefully. “No amount of reflecting on any of it will bring them back.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t just sweep it all up under a pretty rug and pretend it ain’t there.”

“It’s a waste of time to –”

“It’s who I am,” Chuck says firmly. “Look at you… trying to be all high and mighty about my old man being here. You want me to face this, to be bloody ‘patient’ and willing to try and fix things – and you can’t even face the most important thing about me.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I’m a monster.” Chuck continues to stare hard at Raleigh, his eyes narrowed and intense, and Raleigh bites the inside of his cheek, not knowing how to respond. Chuck doesn’t even blink as he goes on, “You liking how it feels when I suck your blood makes it easy for you to pretend, but I can’t. It’s always there for me, Ray. Beneath the surface of my skin, like ground up pieces of glass. This urge to kill, to maim. I touch your skin and my first instinct is to tear it off of you….”

Raleigh blinks. Takes a slow, even breath and tries to keep his expression blank and casual. Truthfully, Chuck’s words chill him far more than the Alaska weather ever could, makes it feel like his intestines have turned into a whole chunk of ice that sits hard and heavy in him. This is all of the stuff Raleigh had chosen not to think about, things he’d shoved into the deepest, darkest corners of his mind, buried beneath everything else. Because despite everything between them, despite how much Raleigh loves Chuck, there is a part of him that fears him.

And Chuck knows it. He looks both smug and dismayed by Raleigh’s reaction.

“You wouldn’t,” Raleigh finally says. 

“But it doesn’t change the fact that I could. At any moment. I could snap and you could be gone in an instant, before I even realized what I was doing. So maybe me pushing my father away isn’t the worst idea of the century, yeah? Maybe you, him, and Mako should just leave me alone out here.”

Raleigh shakes his head, jaw clenching, but words fail him.

Finally, Chuck looks away from him. He turns and takes a few steps away, opening the breach between them. “Go,” he says. “You’re turning blue, you idiot.”

Raleigh starts to walk away, but then says, “You killed those people because you were starved for blood. You killed them because I couldn’t take better care of you.”

“You have no idea –”

“But I can – and am – now. And so can your father,” Raleigh says firmly. “You were just telling me that you need me, that you don’t want to be parted from me, and now you’re trying to convince me to leave you?”

“I’m trying to keep you safe, you moron,” Chuck says.

“No, you’re scared. And you know what? That’s okay, because so am I,” Raleigh says. “But pushing people away and constantly beating yourself up for stuff that was beyond your control is not going to solve your problems. At least I’m trying.”

Chuck snorts. Shakes his head.

“You know I’m right.”

“Shut up,” Chuck says once more.

On his way back, Raleigh doesn’t want to think about Chuck’s words. He’s right, of course – he is a monster. One capable of terrible and brutal things. And when he teases Raleigh, when Raleigh gets a fleeting glimpse of those boyish dimples, it makes him all too willing to want to forget that, to ignore that bad in favor of the good. If only Raleigh had known then what he knows now, if he’d just been more careful, he could have tamed Chuck’s bloodlust sooner, somehow. Hindsight is 20/20, they say.  

Back at the cabin, a very weary-looking Herc is sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over with his elbow propped on the surface, a hand shielding his eyes. Max is at his feet, drinking from a bowl of water, and Mako stands beside the fridge, leaning back against the counter. She straightens when Raleigh enters the kitchen, and Herc lowers his hand to look up at him – they both look hopeful and expectant in their own ways.

Mako offers a small smile. And it’s enough to ease the weight on Raleigh’s chest a little bit. Thank god he has her back in his life, he thinks.

For a long moment, Herc watches him. He almost looks incredulous, like he’s seeing Raleigh for the first time, and Raleigh pretends not to notice as he drapes his coat over one of the other chairs. He can feel the scrutiny in Herc’s intent, wonders if Herc is just now starting to contemplate Raleigh and Chuck’s relationship, and he’s almost guilty about it.

“He talks to you so candidly?” Herc finally asks.

Raleigh shrugs. “More like I’ve gotten better at reading him.”

“You did what I never could, then.”

And it sounds like both a praise and a curse at the same time.

It’s late when Chuck returns – really late. Herc’s passed out in the armchair in the living room, while Raleigh and Mako are on the couch together watching the grainy television. Max is on the floor between them, but stands up as the front door opens, his ears perking up. It’s obvious that Chuck’s trying to be quiet, and though he passes the archway of the living room, it’s quick, like he doesn’t want anyone to see him. He goes to the kitchen, and Mako glances at Raleigh. They nod at one another, not needing to speak, and Raleigh climbs to his feet.

He doesn’t take Max with him right away. Instead he grabs the empty coffee mug held loosely in Herc’s hand, moments away from falling to the floor, and he makes his way into the kitchen alone. When he flips the light switch, Chuck’s just standing in the center of the room, like he’s braced for a fight, and he doesn’t at all look like someone who’s just spent the past few hours out in the cold – if not for the iron-like smell and the chill clinging to him, you’d never know he’d been outside at all.

“Almost started to think you weren’t coming back,” Raleigh says lightly, setting the mug in the sink.

“You’d probably be better off, you know,” Chuck says. He looks at Raleigh sheepishly, and he says, “But I wouldn’t.” And Raleigh knows that that’s the closest Chuck will ever come to admitting that Raleigh was right.

“You ready for Max?”

“Christ, you don’t let up, do you?”

“Wait here.”

“Don’t reckon I have much of a choice.”

It’s easy to get Max out of the living room. Raleigh walks, hunched over so that he can hold onto the bulldog’s collar with one hand, while the other rubs all along Max’s back and shoulders soothingly. Mako watches from the couch, darting little looks at Herc every now and then like she and Raleigh are children doing something wrong, waiting to get caught by the designated adult.

“Come on. Come and see Chuck with me,” Raleigh says genially, easing the dog into the hallway.

Max begins to think it’s some sort of game – he wags his tail and leans into Raleigh’s touch happily. But when they reach the doorway of the kitchen, where Chuck is still standing in the same spot, Max comes to a stop.

“It’s okay,” Raleigh says, patting Max’s shoulders.

Slowly, Chuck lowers himself to his knees to make himself smaller, his eyes fixed on his dog. Max starts pushing against Raleigh’s legs, like he means to escape and go back to the living room. So Chuck extends one of his hands, and in a voice that’s a lot more uncertain and tentative than Raleigh knows he’d like, he says, “C’mere, boy. Stop being such a baby.”

Max cocks his head a little and stops trying to get away. He stares at Chuck, confused, and Chuck glances up briefly to catch Raleigh’s eye. Raleigh gives him a single nod, meant to be heartening, and Chuck looks back at Max, his jaw tightening in determination. Patient, Raleigh thinks.

For a long moment, nothing happens. Chuck wiggles his fingers a little, and Max starts to move again – he takes a slow step forward. And then another. Raleigh lets go of him and watches, holding his breath, as Max creeps closer and closer to Chuck. Chuck is unmoving, but there’s a look of mingled desperation and hope on his face. He stretches his hand out some more, and Max hesitates at the sudden movement. But only for a second.

And then he’s close enough that he can sniff Chuck’s hand. His nose presses against Chuck’s skin like he wants to get as good a scent as he can, and he sniffs up Chuck’s arm, moving closer and looking like he’s growing more and more sure about it all. Chuck hesitantly tries to pat Max’s head – and Max lets him. The utterly blissful look that comes to Chuck’s face is priceless, and a relieved little noise stirs in his throat as Max’s tail starts to wag. It’s slow at first, but as Chuck pets him more, it wags faster, and before Raleigh knows it, Max is trying to climb into Chuck’s lap, his whole body shaking with how hard the tail’s moving.

Chuck wraps his arms around Max and pulls him close, and Max licks at his face. Raleigh’s chest feels so tight that it almost hurts, but it’s a good hurt – Chuck’s grinning, looking boyish and youthful, and it’s something that before, Raleigh would have sold his soul to see. Chuck is in his own little world with Max, as though nothing else exists, and he buries his face in the dog’s fur with a low laugh.

Raleigh flinches when there’s sudden movement to his left, and he turns to find Herc, bleary-eyed and inquisitive. His gaze lands on Chuck, and his face goes through a gamut of emotions, from anxious to surprised to relieved, and his mouth curves up into a small, aged smile. He glances at Raleigh, and for just a second, they stare at one another. Then he nods. And Raleigh knows it’s not Herc forgiving him, not entirely, but it’s enough.

All but beaming, Raleigh turns back to the scene before him. Chuck may technically be a monster, and maybe Raleigh needs to comprehend that. But for as long as they’ve been in Alaska, this is the most human Chuck has ever looked.

*

How could I know that you would take my breath away?

And how could I know that one kiss would change everything?

– “Nevada’s Grace,” Atreyu

*

Nobody tries to talk about the Max thing, and for that, Chuck is glad. Things might have gone well – really, really well – but that doesn’t mean Chuck wants to discuss it. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge it, really. He’d like to pretend that his dog, the animal that had been his only friend growing up, hadn’t been completely terrified of what he’d become, thanks.

His father’s visits become somewhat routine. He comes by every evening with Max, and he hangs around until just a few hours before sunrise. He ends up getting a rental truck, something that can handle the snow as good as Raleigh’s, and though Chuck’s sure he’s spending too much money to keep his room at the inn in town, Herc never mentions it. And as the days wear on, Chuck starts to feel more and more, well… alive.

He’d never admit it because that would mean Raleigh had been right, and though he knows that Raleigh already knows that, he certainly doesn’t want to drive the point home. But he can’t remember the last time he’d ever felt so at peace, and more importantly, he can’t remember the last time Raleigh’s smile had seemed so easy. It’s like there was a dark cloud hanging over Raleigh all of these months, and with Mako and Herc there, it lessens, and Chuck’s able to see how much straighter he stands, as though he’s not being weighed down by a burden anymore.

And with Max and his father, Chuck’s better able to distract himself from thoughts he’d rather not have – memories of bloodstains on hardwood and the sound of flesh ripping. He can’t forget the people he’s killed, and he shouldn’t even be able to – he should have to carry that guilt with him for the rest of his existence, however long that turns out to be since they still don’t know the full effects of his ‘condition.’ It’s only fair he remember them. But maybe in trying to better himself, maybe if he never hurts another human being again, he can seek some sort of atonement for it all.

It takes about a week for Herc to broach the subject of returning to Australia.

He and Chuck are alone at the cabin – save for Max, of course – and Raleigh and Mako are in town, stocking up on groceries, since now they’re feeding three humans and a dog. Chuck’s sitting on the floor in the living room, his back against the couch, with Max draped across his legs while he watches TV. The dog doesn’t at all look comfortable in this position, but the minute Herc and he arrive each day, he becomes glued to Chuck and never leaves his side. And Chuck would sooner set himself on fire than complain about it, mind you, because now he’s got his best friend back.

He hears Herc come into the room from where he’d been in the kitchen, cleaning the coffeemaker that was on its last leg. Chuck knows the old man’s about to get serious, because he sort of just stands inside the doorway for a long moment, silent and staring.

And then he says, very simply, “There’re some loose ends back home I reckon I ought to tie up.”

Chuck hesitates as he pets Max, but he doesn’t look up. “Fun,” he murmurs.

Herc is quiet again, infuriatingly so. He stands there some more, saying nothing, and it really starts to grate on Chuck’s nerves. He and his father have never been good at talking to each other – mostly because every time they’d tried before, it had turned into them yelling at each other – but you’d think that one of them dying and coming back would have changed that.

“Was thinking you could come back with me….” Herc finally says.

Chuck gives an incredulous shake of his head. “What for?”

“It’s home.”

“Not for me. Not anymore.”

Herc pushes out all of his breath on a low sigh, and that just annoys Chuck further. He turns, looking up at his father at last, and he lets his eyebrows go up. Just spit it out already, he thinks harshly. Herc lowers his gaze, brings his hands up to his hips, and when he speaks again, it’s slow and careful, like he’s afraid of offending Chuck.

“Look… I can appreciate Raleigh looking out for you as long as he has.” He pauses and Chuck steels his jaw, returning his gaze to the television. “The things he’s done to take care of you – it can’t have been easy on either of you. But now I’m here and now I can take care of you –”

“Let me stop you right there,” Chuck says. He nudges Max off of him and climbs to his feet in a fluid and graceful motion. Herc straightens his shoulders like he’s getting ready for a fight – old habits die hard, Chuck reckons – but Chuck keeps his distance. “I need Raleigh. That’s all there is to it,” he says.

Herc seems conflicted, his expression hard. He looks around the living room, gesturing like Chuck’s never seen the bloody place before, like he hasn’t been living there for the past few months. “Do you really think this is good for you? Being out here in seclusion like –”

“Seclusion keeps me from hurting anyone,” Chuck snaps. Which isn’t entirely true, given his victims, but Chuck’s well aware that if they’d remained somewhere like Kowloon Bay, or even if Raleigh had picked some place closer to Fairbanks, the body count would be a lot higher.

“He keeps you here like a prisoner.”

“He keeps me safe.”

Quiet, Herc studies him like he’s the most complex puzzle he’s ever seen in his life. “I just want what’s best for you, son.”

And there’s that word. Son. It makes Chuck’s gut twist up into a painful knot, and he rolls his eyes. He turns to pace away, needing to look anywhere but at Herc. He knows his father loves him – knew it even when they were going through their roughest of patches – but this isn’t how he’s ever talked to him. Chuck doesn’t know how to go along with it, it makes his skin crawl uncomfortably.

“I lost you once…. Want to make sure I’m doing all I can to keep you this time,” Herc adds slowly. The words almost sound like they hurt, like they claw their way up his throat and force themselves out of his mouth on their own.

And if he were human, Chuck knows his face would be on fire in his awkward embarrassment. Christ – he’d already broken down and cried in front of his father, what more did Herc want from him? How did normal people talk like this with their family? How did other people find it so easy to get so emotional with people?

“Raleigh’s what’s best for me,” Chuck says stiffly.

Again, there’s a silence that covers them like a thick blanket of snow, and Herc stares at Chuck, tries to read him front to back. Suddenly, he cracks a weary smile. “That’s something I never could have imagined hearing you say,” he remarks.

Yeah, Chuck would definitely be blushing if he could. He makes a scoffing noise in his throat, rolling his eyes again and looking away once more. “Shut up.”

His obvious embarrassment isn’t lost on Herc, and Herc’s not an idiot. He sees right through Chuck, and he shakes his head, looking amused and surprised at the same time. “You and Raleigh…. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”

“Oh god,” Chuck groans, feeling fourteen years old all over again. “If you want me to admit there’s something between me and him, fine, I admit it, but please stop talking. For the love of all that is holy in this world, stop.”

Herc listens – he stops talking. But he also crosses the room to Chuck and pulls him into an embrace that still feels awkward on the both of them, and Chuck doesn’t have time to get out a protest. He groans again, exasperated, and returns the hug very loosely before pulling himself away.

“Please tell me that’s not going to become a normal occurrence,” Chuck says.

“Give me a break, already,” Herc says. “So I get it, alright? You’re not going anywhere without him…. I’ll accept that. He could come with us, then.”

Chuck is touched by the offer, truly. He softens his expression some like he wants his father to know that, but at the same time, he says, “I don’t want to go back. I like it here, I like what I’ve got going on here. And the more you hound me to return, the more I want to stay.”

“Unsurprising. You always were stubborn,” Herc says.

Max is then at Chuck’s feet, giving a low, lazy bark, and out of instinct, Chuck drops to his knees to give him some attention. After a moment, he looks back up at his father, who’s watching him with a look on his face that makes Chuck feel strangely nostalgic, a tender look that Herc quickly tries to cover with one of indifference.

“So has he always smelled this bad or am I just now noticing it with my new senses?” Chuck asks, and god help him, there’s a bit of playfulness to his tone.

Herc barks out a surprised laugh, and despite it all, despite everything, Chuck smiles.

*

Something changed, and Raleigh doesn’t know what it was. All he knows is that when he and Mako got back to the cabin, the air felt lighter and easier, and Chuck didn’t seem nearly as tense as he’d been the past few days. But despite his curiosity at what had changed between father and son, Raleigh doesn’t ask – he knows it’s not his place.

He’s dressing the bed with clean sheets when Chuck comes into the room, ready to die for the day. Herc and Max are staying the night, though it wasn’t really something that had been discussed. Herc had kind of just gotten comfortable in the chair while Mako lay on the couch, and nothing had even been said. Raleigh certainly doesn’t mind, and he knows that if Chuck did, Chuck would say something about it – he’s not exactly the sort of guy to keep quiet when something bothers him, of course.

“Your father doesn’t seem to hate me as much anymore,” Raleigh says. He glances at him. “Your doing?” 

Chuck shrugs, and averts his gaze. “I guess.”

Raleigh finishes with the bed sheet and straightens, turning to face Chuck head-on. Chuck still seems somewhat embarrassed, not meeting Raleigh’s gaze, and that’s when it hits Raleigh. “He knows, doesn’t he?” he asks, and he looks quickly at the closed door like he expects Herc to come barreling in any minute to beat him down for touching his only kid.

“Not all the details,” Chuck says. 

“No wonder he’s so relaxed; he’s got plans. Well, it was nice knowing you.”

Chuck smirks. “He’s not gonna kill you. You mind if we stop talking about my father, though?” He’s suddenly right in front of Raleigh, grabbing him and pulling him down onto the bed.

Raleigh struggles, voicing some protest. “We can’t –”

“I know, I know. Just lay with me.”

So Raleigh does. He’s on his back, with Chuck curled up against his side, visibly growing more and more lethargic as the moments pass. It will never stop fascinating Raleigh how Chuck’s body reacts to the sun – and there’s still so much he doesn’t know about Chuck’s condition. And for what it’s worth, Chuck almost seems like he’s just as captivated by Raleigh. Weakly, he laces his fingers with Raleigh’s and turns Raleigh’s hand over and over, back and forth, studying it.

“How can you stand it? Your skin being so hot all the time?”

“Can you really not remember what it’s like being alive?” Raleigh teases.

Chuck shakes his head, still staring at Raleigh’s hand. “Reckon I’ve always been cold-blooded…. Childhood like mine.”

“Maybe I’m just really good at tolerating it, then,” Raleigh says, to answer the initial question.

Chuck smirks. “Could use some of that tolerance myself. The clashing smells in this house are driving me up the bloody wall.”

“What’s it all smell like?”

“Mako’s like metal. But not rust or anything – iron or steel,” Chuck says after pausing to think about his answer, and his eyes shut like he can’t keep them open any longer. “The old man smells almost like burning wood, like a hearth. And Max just smells like a dog – it’s disgusting.”

Raleigh laughs. “And me?” he asks.

Chuck makes an indistinct noise in his throat but doesn’t respond right away. It seems like he’s passed out. Shortly, he says, “I don’t know. Different. Hard to explain.”

“That’s not a fair answer,” Raleigh says, still grinning even though Chuck’s eyes are closed.

Chuck grunts. Then slowly, he says, “Home…. That’s what you smell like.”

And then he’s gone. Shut down like a computer being unplugged, becoming a cold and heavy weight beside Raleigh. And Raleigh, after pulling his hand out of Chuck’s tight, almost unbreakable grasp, gets comfortable and glances towards the window, where light is just starting to press against the curtains.

Home, he echoes in his mind. He finds that he likes the sound of that.

*

And I would stand, stand by your side,

Until the sun turns the sky all the colors I see in your eyes.

– “This Flesh A Tomb,” Atreyu

*

In all the time that he and Raleigh had been there, the cabin had never smelled like this.

Jumble of personal scents aside, when Chuck wakes up that December evening, the house is nearly overpowered with the smell of a big breakfast. Bacon, pancakes, eggs – the whole nine yards. As a human, the smell would have made his mouth water, but as a vampire, it almost disgusts Chuck. He takes his time getting out of bed, even though he isn’t groggy in the least and never needs any time to actually wake up. The only thing that even convinces him to leave the room is the sound of Raleigh’s laugh from downstairs, which stirs something fluttery in Chuck’s chest that makes him suddenly not care about the scent of greasy food.

When he reaches the kitchen, he finds he’s in time to see Raleigh and Herc cleaning up after the meal. Raleigh’s at the sink, washing dishes, and Herc’s drying and putting them away. It’s all so very domestic that it almost turns Chuck’s stomach more than the smells do. Mako’s sitting at the table with a newspaper and pen in front of her, and she’s the first to notice Chuck’s arrival, glancing up at him and smiling warmly.

“Good morning, Chuck,” she greets him. She’s the only one who says ‘good morning’ anymore, since Raleigh’s trained himself to say ‘evening’ instead, and for some reason, Chuck kind of likes it. It’s like a small form of rebellion.

His father and Raleigh turn to him, greeting him in their own way – a nod and “There you are,” from Herc, and a roguish grin from Raleigh – and Max appears from where he’d been hidden under the table at Mako’s feet, no doubt still waiting for scraps even though they were cleaning up. He bounds to Chuck, sniffing at his feet and legs like he always does when he sees Chuck, like he’s got to make sure it’s really him, and Chuck bends to give the dog a few scratches behind the ear.

“You lot look like you belong on a sitcom,” Chuck says as he takes a seat across from Mako.

“You love it,” she says.

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Raleigh says.

“The hell’s got all of you in such a good mood?” Chuck asks, looking between the three of them. “Feel like I woke up in the Twilight Zone.”

Mako and Herc share a glance that’s almost apprehensive. “Breaking news to Chuck -- isn’t that Raleigh’s job?” Herc asks, and Mako laughs.

Raleigh turns away from the sink long enough to briefly catch Chuck’s gaze, and then he says, “Your dad and Mako are going to be staying.”

“Going to be?” Chuck repeats. “I kinda got that after the past couple of days.”

“No, I mean for good,” Raleigh says.

Chuck glances at Herc to see if it’s true, and Herc nods. “Here?” Chuck asks skeptically. Mako’s slept on the couch long enough that he’s sure she’s sick of it, and there’s no way his father can live on the armchair.

“I’ve been house hunting,” Mako says, tapping the newspaper with the pen. “And I think I’ve found a place big enough for all of us – including Max.”

“All of us….” It’s like they’re all speaking in an ancient tongue that Chuck can’t even begin to grasp, and he looks between them again, his brow furrowing. “Like… together?”

“One big happy family, yeah?” Herc asks. And while Chuck’s still processing it, his father goes on to say, “Was thinking I could get a job at the hospital even. Bring in more, ah, blood for you.”

“I could too,” Mako says. And then she shrugs. “In principle.”

Chuck blinks a few times and shifts in the chair, feeling like he needs to take a long, deep breath, and wishing that he had the ability to. There’s a sort of warmth that’s growing in his chest, expanding and inflating like a balloon. Gratitude? No, it feels stronger than that. He doesn’t know how to take it, wishes he was back in the bedroom, or even in the attic.

“Unless you don’t want it,” Mako says quickly.

The room goes silent, and Chuck stares at the table to avoid the way the others stare at him. He can feel their gazes burning into him, can feel Raleigh’s in particular, expectant and waiting for his reaction.

And surprising even himself, he shakes his head and says, “No, no – I do. I’d… I’d like that.”

Mako flashes a radiant smile, then goes back to the paper, and Herc looks pleased, turning away to put away a pot that Raleigh’s just finished washing. And Raleigh looks at Chuck like he thinks Chuck’s the reason the world keeps spinning – he looks at Chuck in the way that only he knows how, the way that makes Chuck feel for a split second that he has warm blood pumping through his veins instead of ice.

And then Raleigh turns back around to finish with the dishes.

One big happy family. It sounds stupid, but rings true, Chuck thinks. With the warm weight of Max pressing against his legs, Mako humming under her breath, and the sound of their combined heartbeats a constant in Chuck’s ears – it feels right to think of them like that.

He laughs a little. And that feels right too.

*

Just live and breathe, try not to die again….

– “The Crimson,” Atreyu

*