Chapter Text
Chapter 4- Winter
Sebastian raised his champagne to his lips and took a long drink. He hadn’t seen his husband in almost an hour and while this was Jim’s house and this was Jim’s family. Christmas Eve parties with the Moriarty / Brook clan usually ended up with, a) Someone drunk in the garden professing their love for whiskey . b) Someone else in the closet with a distant relative, remembering nothing of their marriage vows . c) no less than four people being stitched together in the butler’s pantry. d) And at least seventeen rounds of ammunition being fired in the front of the house. And Sebastian worried more when he didn’t have eyes on Jim himself.
One hour, five handshakes, twelve hugs and one very handsy cousin later, Sebastian finally heard Jim’s voice . But he wasn’t alone. Seb stood outside the study for a moment, and rubbed his face. Jim and his nephew Reilly were arguing. That was never a good sign. The third voice… shit. Jim’s cousin and surrogate sister Maggie. The purple haired demon who taught Jim everything she knew. She was the only person Jim loved with true abandon. Right. This had to be bad.
Seb looked up as he heard footsteps approaching down the hall. A clean click of polished shoes on the parquet floor. In front of him, stood the blond haired, blue eyed man that Sebastian had come to know and love. Technically , the man was Sebastian’s nephew in law by marriage. James Bond stood just a bit taller than Jim, and a head shorter than the sniper.
“James… good to see you. Even if you reek of the sea.” Seb said with a smile that reached up to his eyes.
“Sebastian… ever the loyal lap dog. But I do rather think it’s something the army drilled into you.” he said with an equal smile. The two men hugged warmly before Seb stepped back. “Looking for your husband?”
“As are you, I’m sure.”
Seb nodded. “Yeah. He disappeared a while back. They are in there. With Maggie.” James’ groan was deep and worrisome. He patted the space under his tailored tux, making sure his pistol was there. Seb nodded in agreement and mirrored his movement.
“This… this can’t be good.” James muttered. “But the longer we let them stay in there without fetching them both… the worse things will be later for us to deal with.”
“I agree.” Seb said, standing up straighter, his full six foot four inch frame dwarfing the double o agent. He grabbed the doorknob and without knocking entered the room.
Jim’s gaze didn’t shift from the large white board sitting in the middle of the wall. It was covered in writing and Seb gave it a quick look.
“Hello Tiger.” Jim said, his voice bored. “Seems like you found me.”
“I did.” Seb said. He came over to where Jim was sitting on top of the large wooden table. It was usually stacked high with books and gave his husband a kiss on the cheek. This was one of the few places in the world that Jim and Seb could be themselves. He looked over at Maggie her long purple hair pulled into a complicated half up half down do. She looked lovely and Seb smiled at her. “Mag Mag…” he said before wrapping his arms around her and drawing her into a deep kiss. Jim laughed a little and Maggie drew back. She smacked Sebastian hard across the face, but a smirk firmly on her face.
“Colonel Shithead.” she said back to him before turning her attention back to the board. Reilly and James finally came up for air. Just long enough for Seb to ruffle the messy curls atop the quartermaster’s head.
“So… what’s all this?” Seb asked as he pulled Jim against his side.
“Nothing to concern yourself with.” Jim said. He tilted his head. “I still say that Sebastian should get extra credit for this last one. I mean… not only did he use a cactus, but he used a Christmas Cactus!”
“That’s not extra credit worthy.” Q said, his curls bouncing with a shake of his head.
Seb and James looked at each other and Seb’s eyes widened as he watched the board once more. Shit. This was exactly what he had been thinking all along. Cactus, birdseed and Christmas lights were the newest entries on the list and Seb knew. He knew exactly what hit this was.
“Jim… you swore to me this hadn’t been a game.”
“Weeellll….” Jim said with a smirk. “It wasn’t a game.”
“It was a bet.” Reilly offered. James looked up at the board himself and sighed.
“Are you two off your fucking rocker?” he asked, siding with Seb on this one. He looked over the list. “ Really Seb? A spoon, packing peanuts and a bottle cap?”
“James… Do I want to know about the rubber duck, the banana and the buttons?” Seb asked, trying hard to hide his smirk. James shook his head.
“Well… I will admit the use of the playing cards was rather inventive.” Maggie admitted after a moment. “But, James’ use of the glitter was rather…. Um…”
“Sparkly!” Reilly supplied. Maggie chuckled a little before licking her lips.
“Yes… of course Q. It was sparkly. But… I was thinking rather messy. Left a trail long enough to supposed twenty strippers walked in and out of the flat. But the bible beating was rather fun. And literal for a change.”
James looked at Sebastian, a little smug. “Yet, I still think Sebastian’s first kill… death by tampon was rather… ironic. Considering that target was known to aborhe women and only could get hard for little girls.” she said with a sneer.
James looked over the list again as did Sebastian.
“James… Bible, curling iron and glitter. Rubber bands, air freshener and a glow stick. Lube, hair dye and a doll? Really ? A doll?” Seb listed off. “Jesus Jim… you are rather sick.”
“Ah… no. The doll was my idea.” Maggie said. I just wanted to see one of the two most macho men I know buying a doll and carrying it around for a few hours.”
Seb shook his head. Jim giggled and looked at his husband. “You’re upset with me.”
“I am… but I’m glad to know I wasn’t in this alone. So… who’s the winner then Maggie?” he asked his cousin in law.
“I’ll let you know after the fish course. It’s time for dinner.” she announced and walked out of the room, without another word.
Jim sat at the head of the table, his family and friends gathered around. He looked to his right, Sebastian’s seat and smiled at his husband. He leaned forward and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly . “No matter what happens, I am proud of you. And I love you more then you’ll ever know.” he said before giving him a small kiss. Seb smiled back and sat back as Jim stood up and tapped his spoon against the crystal glass. “I would like to wish you all a happy christmas…” he started when the room fell into a deafening silence. “It’s always good to end the year with friends and family around oneself. Over the course of the last year, my darling nephew Reilly and I have been spending time bonding with each other. Through our husbands. We’ve created a rather… unique list of items for them to use in their work. And despite their occasional lack of enthusiasm for the game…” Jim’s eyes cut to Seb at this word and Seb shook his head.
“I fucking knew it…” he said under his breath. He gave Jim a look that would reduce the consulting criminal to a blubbering pile of mush. Jim swallowed hard and continued.
“They both lived up to and exceeded expectations. Maggie… would you be kind enough to tell us who won out little battle of wits?”
Maggie shook her head, picking up her wine and leaning back in her seat. “No winner.”
It was quiet for a moment before both Seb and James were out of their chairs, rage and fury flowing through them both.
“What the fuck…”
“How in the hell…”
Maggie put up her hand to silence them both and they did. “While you both were more than creative. And well… inventive with your uses of everyday items in your craft, I can’t see that one of you was a clear winner. So.. it’s a tie.”
“A tie…” James said, deflated as he sat down again. Reilly looked a bit proud of his husband and smiled beatifically at him. Sebastian stayed standing, not used to losing. And a tie to him felt like a loss.
“Only one thing to do then…” Jim said with a shrug, not looking at his husband but at his nephew instead. “Have a tie breaker.” Reilly ’s face beamed with a smile as he nodded and James let out a resigned sigh.
Seb turned to Jim and knew by the look on his face he was deadly serious. He sat down in his chair and drained his wine glass.
“My life sucks…” he said as he began to imagine what Jim and Reilly would think up for them next.
James Bond: Bible, Curling iron, glitter
James Bond: Lube, hair dye, doll
Sebastian Moran: Cactus, birdseed, Christmas lights
Sebastian Moran: Spoon, bottle cap, packing peanuts
James Bond: Rubber band, air freshener, glow stick