Chapter Text
mario to queers™
mario: arthur the goblin has struck again
luigi: i may be a goblin but my lizard sure fucking isn't, what are you accusing him of?
mario: he shit on my pillow
luigi: lies you shit on your own pillow
mario: why?? the fuck?? would i do that??
thedadfriend: You did once when you were 5.
mario: S H I R O S T O P E X P O S I N G M E
iconic: a little off topic but the new girl has my gay ass dead
hunkalunk: shay!! my queen! i love her!! she's my platonic wife! like you and lance!
iconic: You know her?
hunkalunk: she used to come here every summer.
iconic: Hmu with her number.
hunkalunk: i got you.
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mario: ARTHUR THE GOBLIN STRIKES AGAIN
luigi: IM PISSING KYSLEF I CANT BREATHE
luigi: MATT HAD TO FEED HIM EARLIER AND GAVE ARTHUR TOO MUCH FOOD I THINK
luigi: AND WHILE MATT WAS HOLDING HIM FOR ME ARTHUR FUCKING THREW UP ON HIM
mermaidboi: s e n d p i c s
luigi: i got you fam
luigi sent bitterboi.jpeg to queers™
mermaidboi: I CAN'T BREATHE
hunkalunk: lance is fucking dead rip my boyf
hunkalunk: his laugh is so cute for a goblin
theblackparade: iwkdjcjdi
theblackparade: All of us are fucking goblins except our queen Allura.
iconic: False, Hunk is not a goblin.
thedadfriend: That's true.
hunkalunk: false i am a goblin
iconic: Rest in Peace Hunk Garret. He was one of them best people I have ever met.
thedadfriend: ???
iconic: We're studying at Lances for a physics test and it was like Lance could sense Hunk called himself a goblin and well...
iconic sent RipHunk.JPEG to queers™
theblackparade: Rest in piece
theblackparade: ALSO I'M ALMOST IN TOWN I'M GONNA SEE MY DAD'S
theblackparade: SHIRO ARE YOU AT THE HOUSE??
thedadfriend: Yea I am.
theblackparade: GODSPEED
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mario: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
mario: BACK AGAIN WITH AN UPDATE ON ARTHUR THE GOBLIN
luigi: stop soiling his good name
mario: HE WON'T GET OFF MY HOMEWORK
mario: I JUST WANT TO LIVE
mario: S A V E M E
luigi: i'm on my way home right now
luigi: hance + allura is with me
mermaidboi: i'm omw to ruin your life