Chapter Text
Mmmm Lapis was having a nice sleepy times, dreaming of burning towns and ruling over the universe, good dreams is very nice. zzzzzz
But it didn't last long because PERIDOT came in and PUSHED HER OFF THE HAMMOCK.
"oh god damn Peridot the fuck was that for what time is it." Lapis asked, getting off the floor.
"CHRIMAAAA'"
"What"
"CHRISTMAAAAAS!"
O SHIT that's right today was Christmas haha how could she forget?
"oh yeah i totally forgot thanks for waking me up Peridot" Lapis said as she pat Peridot on the head.
"anytime LaZUli" Peridot responded.
"now lets goooooooooooooooooooooooo" Peridot said as she grabbed Lapis by the arm, pulling her towards the pretty much dying Christmas tree.
Peridot shoved a gift into Lapis' BIG BEAUTIFUL BREASTS uNf. "Is this for me?", Lapis grabbed the box, looking at it.
"no it's for those SWEET SWEET KNOCKERS OF YOURs" Peridot screamed.
"uh"
"just open it"
Lapis opened the present, and saw a little box.
"oh a box, uh thanks?" Lapis was confused.
"nono, you gotta open thAT box too."
Lapis took the top off this box and started violently gagging.
"WHY."
"DO YOU NOT LIKE IT"
"NO WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THIS TO ME ARE YOU STUPID"
INSIDE THE SMALLER BOX WAS A MIRROR JUST LIKE THE ONE SHE HAD BEEN TRAPPED IN FOR LIKE 2 HOURS.
Lapis smashed the mirror on the ground a little bit it kinda broke into several thousand pieces.
Peridot cried a little bit and her heart kinda broke into several thousand pieces.
"shh i know you meant well but you gotta understand i hate mirrors shhhhhhhh"
Lapis gave Peridot a little box to cheer her up
"i got you something, don't feel bad". Peridot looked up at the box and went "wao" and opened it.
"oH MY GOODNESS LAPIS YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!!!!"
She grabbed the giant black dildo and stuffed it into her hair, it stuck out a little bit but that's fine.
The other dildo from easter had somehow broken in half when they got into that fight it was spooky.
Peridot hugged Lapis, being sure to go face first into heR GIANT BAZOOMBAS. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
but just then they remembered steveN!
"We gotta go spend christmas with steve!!! quick grab the rest of the presents ill bring the tree." Lapis screamed at Peridot.
They spent the rest of christmas with steben and Peridot got screamed at by pearl a little because of the dildo in her hair but it was fine because when they got back to the barn later that night they had sexy times with dildo and everyone was happy the end.