Chapter Text
When Kylo came to, he was afraid something had happened to his hearing because it was eerily quiet. He blinked groggily, struggling to his feet with a groan. The woods were silent. Bits of ash were still floating around through the air, a mockery of the gentle life that they had once been. The mountain had burned most of the way up, but the areas immediately around Kylo had been spared. He must have crossed over enough rocks.
A sniff told him that the fire had burnt out, but it had taken a lot of his forest with it. Way off in the distance, he could hear the birds twittering at each other. It made him feel as if things would be alright. Regrowth would happen.
He stretched his aching limbs, blinked his stinging eyes, coughed the dust out of his throat. He was tired. So tired. Was it close to time for hibernation? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember much at all.
With a roll of his shoulders, Kylo made to lumber down the mountain. But something caught his eye.
There was a piece of driftwood next to him. It was a little bent and had some ash on it, but it looked unburnt and unbroken. It was really odd for a piece of driftwood to be on top of a mountain. He frowned at it, but with a shrug he-
Frowned? Shrugged? Bears couldn't frown or shrug, how did he even know what those movements were? Why did he care? How did he even have all of these thoughts?
He was starting to get nervous, starting to panic, emotions he couldn't remember rushing through him as he stumbled back. He had the distinct feeling that he was forgetting something, something that was much too important to be forgotten. He looked around frantically, as if the answers could be found in the woods somewhere around him.
And then his eyes fell back on the piece of driftwood.
And things felt a little calmer.
Kylo nudged the stick with his paw, hoping that something would happen. He was about to get frustrated and leave, and something small in him screamed at him not to break the stick in anger. And something else told him not to leave the stick behind.
With a little grumble, he picked up the pale stick of driftwood carefully in his mouth.
And everything came rushing back to him.
He almost dropped Hux with the sheer impact of emotions and memories hitting him. He was so thankful he stopped himself from breaking the stick. And his few minutes fully as a bear, in body and in mind, confirmed his needs now more than ever: he needed to find the fairy and he needed to get Hux back.
He took a breath, squared his giant shoulders, and resumed his journey towards the lake. He just had to go down the mountain and he'd be there.
As he passed into the burnt sections, the ash felt weird beneath his paws. He couldn't always see the roots and rocks, didn't know which branches would snap beneath his weight, and so he had to walk carefully.
Finally, he was at the lake. A few deer were further downstream, resting and drinking the cool water. They paid him no mind.
Kylo set the stick down on the water's edge, where Hux had been found, and sat heavily next to it. He wasn't sure what to do.
With a paw, he nudged the stick-Hux a little closer to the lake so that it was touching the water, as if the lake itself would transform him back.
Wasn't the fairy always supposed to be watching? Wouldn't she have seen him here by now?
He sighed. Maybe this wouldn't work. Maybe it was stupid to hope. Maybe he deserved to be a bear forever and to dwell on the memories of his no-longer attainable happiness.
But Hux didn't. Hux didn't deserve this. Kylo sighed again, a whine coming out of his throat. He knew that if he'd been human, he'd be crying.
“Kylo Ren.”
He spun around and saw the fairy coming out of the woods, blue light shining all around her as green plants sprung from her every footstep. The forest would regrow.
Suddenly Kylo felt selfish for his impatience.
He sighed out another little whine, looking up at the fairy with pleading eyes, wishing she could turn him back so he could beg for Hux to be spared the curse.
She tilted her head as she watched him, and Kylo felt as if she could see into his mind. He turned back to the Hux-stick, picking it up gently out of the water and leaning forward towards the fairy to try to show what he was asking. He nudged it in her direction, looking back up sadly.
The fairy carefully stepped over Hux and placed her hands on either side of Kylo's head. A prickly sensation filled him, running through his skin like when he transformed, but also in his brain, in his eyes, in every part of him. With a gasp, he felt his snout returning to a human nose, his claws receding into human fingers, the sharp teeth dulling in his mouth, the chill of the air on his bare skin.
Flashes of memories from the forest fire, carrying Hux as carefully as he could, his anguish, the squirrel he saved, his time with Hux, arguing, getting along, saving him from the bear, countless memories flipped rapidly through his mind, and he knew the fairy was able to see them all. He didn't even have time to feel embarrassed about their more intimate moments before she removed herself from his brain, her hands pushing through his hair gently.
“Please,” Kylo mumbled, voice raspy from disuse and the smoke.
“You've learned more than care and control,” she said quietly as she took a step back, her hands falling away from him. “This is new. You've learned to be selfless, and gentle. Not only to him, but to others.”
Kylo felt his cheeks warming as he dropped his gaze. He didn't know what to say.
“Trust and love are difficult emotions to learn. But you've achieved that in this short time. This is more than I had expected, from you or from anyone.”
“Please,” Kylo said again, no other words good enough to convey his want, his need.
She placed a hand on Hux's stick. “He may not remember.”
Kylo looked up at her, eyes filling with worry. “But you can- I mean, would he be ok?”
“Transformations are different on non-sentient objects. I couldn't say for sure unless I try. Things might not be the same. He may not remember you at all, or only remember certain things,” the fairy said sadly. “Is that what you truly want?”
Kylo shook his head. “He deserves to live. To have a life. Whether or not it's with me, he deserves everything,” Kylo said, coming to the realization himself as the words were spoken. He would do anything for Hux, even if it meant he couldn't be with him.
The fairy nodded, tracing her hands over the Hux-stick.
She held the stick up with both hands outstretched, then with a quick movement she snapped it in half. In that split-second moment, Kylo thought his heart had broken too. Until a pale green light began pouring from each side of the stick, taking a human form in front of her.
Hux stood facing the fairy, and Kylo's heart stopped as he fell to his knees behind him. Hux took a step back, startled at the glowing fairy in front of him, then spun around at the sound of Kylo's knees hitting the rocky ground.
He gasped, pale freckly hands flying up to his mouth. He remembered, Kylo was sure of it. He remembered.
“Kylo?”
“Hux,” Kylo breathed, a shaky laugh escaping through the tears running down his face.
“What happened? I...I had a dream, it was awful, you were a bear, and then everything froze, and then I was...I was on fire but I couldn't move? I don't...why are we here?”
Kylo shook his head, he couldn't believe he had Hux back. “It was real, Hux. All of it. Everything you said.”
Hux frowned at him, looking almost afraid. “You can't be a bear, that's ridiculous, you're not-”
“Not anymore,” Kylo agreed.
Hux reached out a hand, hesitating just for a second, before placing it on Kylo's cheek. Kylo put both of his hands on top, not caring about the tears falling onto them. Hux moved only to throw both of his arms around Kylo's neck, dropping to his knees too as he fell on Kylo in a fierce hug.
After a few long emotional moments, Kylo realized the fairy was watching them still, a small smile on her face.
“Things will have to be different this time,” she said. “The way my magic works, you'll both have to become caretakers of the forest now.”
Kylo nodded as he listened, not letting go of Hux's hand.
“It'll be very much the same as your days spent as humans, but you must stick to the woods. Care for the animals and plants, keep the peace between them. You have learned this great care and trust and love, use it well.” She placed a hand on each of their shoulders; it was warm and Kylo could feel her power seeping into him.
“Some small magic to help you,” she answered his unspoken question. “Nothing like my abilities, just basic healing and growth. Try it,” the fairy gestured at the ground in front of them.
Kylo looked at Hux, and then together they laid their hands upon the dirt. A few tiny sprigs of green popped up between their fingers.
Her smile was wise as she nodded at their shocked expressions. “I've seen your minds. I know you won't disappoint me. If you should ever need to find me, simply come to the lake.”
She patted their shoulders again as she passed them, fading into her glowing pale blue light as she walked across the lake.
Kylo helped Hux to his feet, still completely elated at having him back, having him remember and know and being able to keep him. Elation was another new feeling that he'd found, and now he knew he'd experience it often with Hux by his side.
He held Hux's hand as they walked into the woods, following the newly made green path that the fairy had walked out of. It was so different than their first trek through the woods, where Kylo had tried to leave Hux behind. They walked together, helping each other through low-hanging branches and over logs. It was a leisurely walk, stopping occasionally to lay hands upon a burnt tree to give it the ability to heal, or for a few stolen kisses that were even sweeter than Kylo had remembered.
Never in all his days would Kylo have believed that he would have found something so wonderful in his life. He was given love, and he was given back something he thought he couldn't replace. Now that he had found Hux again, he'd never let anything happen to him.
They reached their cabin, looking better than it ever had. The wood looked fresh and sturdy, the stones clean, a flowered wreath hung on the door.
Hux looked up at him with a shy smile, pulling him towards the door.
And Kylo followed with a smile of his own.
- - -
How many years
I know I'll bear
I found something
In the woods somewhere