Chapter Text
Jaehyun and a still-hungover Johnny sat in the kitchen, both sipping on hot sweet coffee.
"I'm curious about something," Johnny said squinting over his cup, "What do Taeyong's parents do?"
Jaehyun placed his cup on the table. "What do you mean what do they do?"
"Like their profession," Johnny replied, his voice barely a whisper.
"How should I know that?"
"I don't know, he's your roommate."
Jaehyun let his head rest on his hand, thinking for a moment. He really didn't know much about Taeyong at all other than the host bar.
"I guess it was a bit presumptuous of me to ask you that. You know Taeyong as well as I do," Johnny apologised.
Jaehyun let out a nervous laugh. Despite telling Taeyong he didn't care about Johnny seeing their moment of skinship two nights ago, something deep down worried him. Perhaps he had caught on.
"Why do you wonder about his parents, though?"
"It's just..." Johnny trailed off, looking for the right words. His face was deep in thought and Jaehyun almost felt sorry for this poor boy who drunk too much the previous nights.
"I think that woman- your head of department, is Taeyong's mother," Johnny said quietly, leaning across the table so the younger boy could hear.
Jaehyun laughed through his nose, "That's funny."
"I'm sure of it," Johnny said adamantly.
"Why would he study in the exact school and department his own mother works in?"
"Beats me," Johnny shrugged, "special treatment...or-"
"I don't think that's allowed," Jaehyun cut him off.
Johnny scratched the side of his face dubiously, "I guess not."
"I don't know where you get these ideas from–."
"I don't magic these ideas out of nowhere, I saw them together"
"What?"
"I saw them together," Johnny replied.
Johnny's curt response shocked Jaehyun to the point where he couldn't help but blink for a few moments.
"It could've just been a one-to-one feedback session. We have them all the time," Jaehyun reasoned.
Johnny sat back in his chair, shaking his head. "That's not it. Who'd have a feedback session in the early hours of the morning?"
Jaehyun squinted his eyes momentarily. "You saw them when?"
Johnny chuckled. "I don't remember exactly, I was pretty drunk but it must've been a few nights ago. You came outside for a smoke by the looks of things."
"You mean the day you and Taeyong came back together?"
Johnny picked at his bottom lip in concentration. "Yeah, that must've been it. Anyway, that's the only reason we went home together. He was getting out of her car and I happened to pass by. So I assumed she was his relative."
Jaehyun's mind raced from one possibility to the next. Concluding that the middle-aged woman was most likely Taeyong's client. But it couldn't have possibly been Ms Kang, surely.
"Or his girlfriend," Johnny joked, seemingly trying to make light out of the situation.
"You were drunk and clearly mistook the woman. Don't go spreading rumours around like that, seriously," Jaehyun said, standing up.
"Jeez...chill out. Anyone would think she's your mother."
"Chill out? chill out? You can ruin people's careers by saying stuff like that. You're seriously thoughtless."
"Hey. Isn't that a bit too far to be talking to your hyung like that?" Johnny asked, his eyes wide.
"You may be older than me, but you're not my senior. We entered university in the same year."
"Equals or not, don't you think this is disrespectful? You're taking it too far," Johnny replied, his tone with an edge of aggression.
"If you want respect, I suggest you earn it," Jaehyun said. And with that he left the kitchen, leaving a dumbfounded Johnny behind.
Jaehyun bumped into Taeyong in the corridor. His hair was still wet from his morning shower, his eyes wide and innocent. The look was enough to calm down Jaehyun's angry heart...almost. But then Jaehyun remembered he hadn't seen Taeyong's face since his disappearance last night. A disappointment remained inside him, as heavy and solid as a lump of stone in the pit of his stomach.
"Do you want to get breakfast?" Taeyong asked brightly.
If Jaehyun didn't know any better, he would think Taeyong was fully rested and content. But Jaehyun did know better. He knew that Taeyong left halfway through the night. This boy who was incapable of loving anyone. This boy who was likely kissing and touching that woman for hours on end.
Did he think about me when he was doing those things to her? Jaehyun thought. But he pushed it out of his mind. Either way, he felt betrayed by the older boy.
Jaehyun lowered his gaze, "Um, no, not today. I've got some things scheduled."
"Ah...I see. Well, I'll see you in class then?" Taeyong offered, but Jaehyun walked away before he could continue.
Taeyong sat at the breakfast bar. A deflated Johnny was now picking at his cereal.
"What's wrong with everyone today?" Taeyong said under his breath. It was supposed to be inaudible, but Johnny had heard.
"Your roommate getting worked up, that's what."
"Did something happen?" Taeyong asked, buttering a slice of toast.
"Maybe I was in the wrong because I was talking about you. But I wasn't talking badly of you," Johnny explained.
Taeyong raised an eyebrow, "You were talking about me?"
"No...no, not like that. I just harmlessly asked about your department director, that's all."
Taeyong stopped buttering his toast, the knife resting in his hand.
"Department director?"
"I was probably pretty drunk and mistook the situation," Johnny chuckled nervously.
"Stop babbling, what are you talking about?" Taeyong asked softly.
"That night I bumped into you after drinking, you were coming out of a woman's car, right?" Johnny asked.
Taeyong didn't reply. He kept his hollow gaze focused on Johnny, signalling that he should continue.
"I got a good look at that woman. And she resembles your department director. So...I just asked Jaehyun, if he knew your relation to each other. I thought it was your mother in all honesty..." Johnny trailed off.
"And you asked Jaehyun all of this?" Taeyong asked quietly.
Johnny nodded. He had never seen Taeyong's eyes so cold and devoid of emotion, it was terrifying.
"You've got the wrong woman. In the future can you try not to spread rumours about me?" Taeyong said, leaving the kitchen.
Jaehyun arrived late to his last lecture of the day, purposely. But for once, it wasn't so he could sit next to Taeyong- it was for the opposite reason. He sat towards the back of the lecture hall since Taeyong was nearer to the front. But Jaehyun positioned himself so he still had a clear view of him. Directly a few rows behind, both of the boys to the left of the hall.
Taeyong typed as the teacher spoke but this was simply a physical movement. He didn't take in anything that the teacher was saying. His mind was too preoccupied for that.
His roommate was staring directly at the back of his neck. Taeyong didn't turn around once in the lecture, but he just knew that was what Jaehyun was doing. He could feel his gaze, and it burned him.
The one person Taeyong didn't want to find out about his client, knew. And it pained him. All he had had to tell Jaehyun, was that it was a misunderstanding, Johnny was too drunk to know what was going on. But that was just another lie to be spun into the web of lies. And Jaehyun wasn't stupid, either.
Taeyong ran over to Jaehyun as they got outside. Because it was an evening lecture, nighttime was fast approaching. The wind was cold and the sound of a distant siren mixed with the nighttime air.
"Are you avoiding me?" Taeyong asked, trying to catch his breath.
Jaehyun stopped walking so fast and turned to a wide-eyed Taeyong, "No, why would you think that?"
"You just walked off," the older boy mumbled.
Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, "Why is that a problem. We don't walk everywhere together."
Taeyong shrugged, suddenly beginning to feel less than his age.
"Were you expecting me to walk you back to our room?" Jaehyun laughed lightly.
"No."
Taeyong felt both conflicted and guilty, which took the form of a lump in his throat. He didn't know what to say but he knew he had to say something. He had to explain. And though he wanted to lie, as was a habit of most hosts, he had an underlying feeling of compassion towards Jaehyun. He couldn't lie to the person he deeply cared about.
"Can we talk?" Taeyong asked.
"We're talking now," Jaehyun replied flatly.
"Jaehyun, you know that's not what I meant. Please?"
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. "Okay, but let's make it quick."
"Not here though. Can we go to the park?" Taeyong asked.
Jaehyun shrugged in the darkness and started to walk in the direction of the park. Taeyong following a little behind.
Jaehyun took a different route which compromised of climbing up the steps in the park to see the cities nighttime view. They sat on a bench placed on the highest hill of the park. It was empty now, given that it was so late. But in the distance, the city lights twinkled. It looked like a different world when compared with the serenity of the idyllic place they were currently in.
"When I was 10, my mother told me I could do anything I put my mind to," Taeyong said suddenly.
"That's nice and everything but why are you telling me this?" Jaehyun asked.
"Just listen," Taeyong replied quietly.
Jaehyun sighed and leaned back, burying his chin inside his hoodie.
"It's a pretty generic thing for a parent to tell their child. And I wanted to believe what my mother said, but by middle school, I already knew that wasn't true," Taeyong went on. "All my friends were going to cram schools. I didn't necessarily want to take classes until late at night but I didn't want to be helping my mother with part-time jobs either. It's not something you should have to think about when you're a kid, where the next meal is coming from."
Jaehyun peered at Taeyong, but he was in his own world. Staring out into the distance- his expression appeared completely vacant.
"So when it came to applying to universities, I pretty much had nothing to show for it. No special music classes, no martial arts, just that I enjoyed reading in the library and that I wanted to go," Taeyong laughed, though it was more like a puff of air.
"The year I was supposed to go to university, I took a year out. I was determined to prove my mother right. But I knew it'd take a lot of hard work to save up tuition fee money. I think one day when I was coming back from my pizzeria job, I was walking down the strip of bars and clubs- you know the one near Myeongdong?"
Jaehyun nodded silently.
"And I saw the host bar then, for the first time. It looked pretty tacky but there was a good looking guy at the front that came to me and asked if I was looking for a well-paying job. I wasn't that naive of course. There were a few back and forth discussions before I decided I'd give it a try."
"A try," Taeyong snorted, "like it was the easiest job in the world."
"So that's how you came to join?" Jaehyun asked.
"Yeah. And we all have a regular client, someone who's loyal and comes to us no matter what. For me, that was a middle-aged woman who lived in the Gangnam area. She was fairly attractive," Taeyong said.
Something in Jaehyun's stomach lurched. Was this supposed to make him feel better? he thought. All he felt was jealousy and mild annoyance.
"Well attractive enough, for a customer I mean," Taeyong said as if reading his thoughts.
"Anyway, one evening, just before I was leaving the hotel, she started going into her life story. How she was in an unhappy marriage, how she was lonely...the usual stuff like that. And she wanted me to tell my life story. So I told her, I was trying to save money to go to university and that I wanted to study literature."
There was another pause. It was a long one this time and filled with a hollowness.
"I'm sure you can put two and two together..." Taeyong trailed off.
"No don't stop now, I'm quite oblivious to what you're trying to say," Jaehyun said, half sarcastically.
"That woman is Ms Kang. And she helped me get onto the program," Taeyong replied, staring at the ground now.
"So Johnny was right," Jaehyun sighed.
"Yes. He was and I would've told you sooner but I panicked and if the word gets out, I'll be made to leave."
"I owe him an apology."
"Please, Jaehyun..." Taeyong pleaded.
"Please what? You got in through special treatment. You do know that's illegal, right?" Jaehyun said, looking directly at the older boy.
"But it's not like I didn't have a passion for Literature in the first place. I just wasn't given the opportunity because of my financial situation."
"Hyung, I understand growing up was hard for you. But a lot of us deal with whatever life throws at us. I listened to your sob story but this is wrong."
"It's not a sob story. I just gave you context about the situation," Taeyong protested.
Jaehyun raked a hand through his hair, feeling already guilty for what he had said. "Sob story or not, you really thought you could just carry on like this? Letting her use you and then go to her class the following day like everything's normal?"
"She wasn't using me, this is a business," Taeyong said, but Jaehyun wasn't listening.
"Well, it sounds like it to me."
"You know how nervous I was in the beginning, it wasn't easy for me. It's not easy for anyone when they're starting out in a job like that. But she helped me. As twisted as it sounds, she was like another parental figure."
"Except you were- and still are having sex with her," Jaehyun uttered.
"I'm not having sex with her anymore," Taeyong said quietly.
"You're not?" Jaehyun asked, his tone of voice lighter now.
"No. Anyway, you helped me the most out of anyone I met there. So if anyone should be able to understand this situation, it's you," Taeyong said turning to Jaehyun. It was too dark to make out his features clearly, but Taeyong swore he could see Jaehyun's eyes wet with tears.
"I know you said you got me into this and that might've been true, but you also comforted me and helped me along the way. I'm thankful for that."
Jaehyun looked past the park, his vision blurred so that the skyline was nothing more than a collection of twinkling dots.
Some time passed before Taeyong spoke again.
"I know that this is a lot to take in. But you're the only person I can trust to tell. Because we share the same experience."
"But why didn't you tell me your client was Ms Kang?"
"I was scared," Taeyong replied honestly, "And when I started to like you, I knew I'd have to say something sooner or later. I didn't expect it to come out like this."
Had Jaehyun heard Taeyong right? Did Taeyong admit that he liked him? It caused something inside him to flutter.
In the silence and darkness, Taeyong took Jaehyun's hand in his and then thinking better of it, dropped it.
"I'm sorry," Taeyong whispered.
"Look at me," Jaehyun said.
Taeyong turned his body to face him on the bench, but his eyes were focused on a point past Jaehyun's face.
"No, I said look at me."
This time Taeyong looked at Jaehyun. His eyes dropped to Jaehyun's lips, which seemed to be moving silently as if planning what to say next.
"I don't want you to be sorry," Jaehyun replied, his voice softer now. "Because I like you too. You know that."
"I didn't," Taeyong replied.
Jaehyun smiled momentarily. "Well, I do. You've always been so naive. I liked you since the day I met you, hyung."
Taeyong nodded, his eyes still focused on his lips.
"I think you know already that I'm not good with words, so..." Taeyong cut off his own sentence by leaning in to kiss Jaehyun. When their lips met, all the anger and jealousy Jaehyun had felt before melted away. Jaehyun raised his hands to meet Taeyong's face, one gently holding Taeyong's cheek and the other hand on his thigh. Jaehyun expected Taeyong to feel small and vulnerable against his lips, but Taeyong's lips mirrored Jaehyun's- slow, passionate and hungry movements. He had worked at a host bar, after all.
The more forceful the kiss became, the more Jaehyun could feel himself hardening. He had to pull away before instincts took over.
They sat breathlessly for a few moments, not saying a word.
Jaehyun turned to Taeyong once more. "If you want I'll keep quiet. But please end things with Ms Kang, you have to."
Taeyong nodded chewing his bottom lip.
"You're not strapped for cash anymore, are you?" Jaehyun asked.
"No, I have enough for the time being."
"You're here now. If she tries to report you, she's only hurting her image even more. So just tell her quietly that you won't meet her anymore," Jaehyun explained.
"I'll try. And you promise you won't tell anyone about this? I feel bad for lying to Johnny, but I'm gone if I get found out," Taeyong sighed.
"I promise. It'll be our secret," Jaehyun assured him.